Ep 400 - Making Your Midlife Crisis A Huge Positive

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it, and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the Ian Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this work, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

I was connecting with a fellow coach recently. She actually helps us coach people to write their book and to publish their book. And that's an area I am very interested in the moment. And we're talking about a number of different things. And she made a great point. She said a midlife crisis is actually a necessity. Because what it does, it puts you on a path that you meant to be on. So if you feel like you've been through that, or maybe you're just facing that point in your life, where you're looking at things and going, isn't this all there is or like I did, that was one of my thoughts. Is this all there is but also, do I really want to be doing what I'm doing now? So is this the career I really want? Is this how I want to be living my life? Do I really want to live the next 20 years like this? And then then hit retirement and then maybe not even live much after retirement like my dad passed away at 64? Well, all great questions to ask. So you can look at your midlife crisis, or maybe even even even associated with the midlife crisis, but you might be just looking at midlife and go, Oh, this is so bad, what am I going to do? Or you could go well, what an opportunity have I got now, to reinvent my life, to re envision my life to look at things completely different. Because I want to tell you a little secret here. No matter what you are doing now, no matter what career you in, you absolutely can change direction. And what I can also guarantee you that the big chunk of your career, whatever you've done, there's going to be massively valuable parts of that, that you'll be able to replicate in other situations in other scenarios in other industries in other roles in completely different spaces. But it's what you've brought to the table. And from my experience, whatever you've worked in, you'll have a significant impact in that going forward. So one of my current clients is from a building background. And he's gone from his business where he's done any number of different roles within the building industry, from design to creation. He's done a lot of television, and he's done a heap of different really cool stuff. When I was working for someone else in the building industry, what we worked through and what the point we came to was that as he's going through his revisioning of his life, what's clear is that building in some capacity, whether it's one of those different areas I mentioned, or another area will be a part of that, because he knows that so intimately well. Now, the other thing that came up was well, he's been a business owner, and also just how he was describing his current situation. He's a leader, he sees the picture. And he's able to bring people along for the ride in a really positive way. And from how he described how he shows up much needed in that industry and much needed in many industries, because he comes from a people side of things first, and that's what gets results. If you get too caught up in the bottom line. Well, then you can get stuck. And if that's where you're at now also with your with your life and you feel like you're tied to your paycheck. Well then same thing, you're focused on bottom line instead of the people aspect. nurture yourself look after yourself, prioritize yourself and what you can bring to the table, then there was absolutely no reason why you can't be making the same money but actually in a job that you love. And maybe you just maybe you keep adding value like that. Not only will you be able to earn the same money, but you'll be able to earn even more because you'll be more Bringing all of your value from your past experiences, but an area of passion that you love. Because there's no good going into a place that you're really, really great at. But there's no passion. Equally, there's no point going into an area where you're absolutely passionate about it. But you've got no skill set. Because both of those are going to be a struggle. But when you can marry the two, bring that passion and purpose together. That's where your value lies. And that's where the magic happens. So if you're at that point where you've thought, is this a midlife crisis, maybe you've started investigating a whole lot of different ways that you see the world buying a nice car, you know, it's the old stereotype of the midlife crisis, right, buying a nice car, changing careers, deciding you want to secure your financial future by looking at some sort of investments, and also all sorts of things are the all three of those, right? And I can tell you that, while all of them give you benefits, in many ways, the biggest win comes from RE envisioning your own party and that your own value, your own inner security, your own personal security. And also, if we look at, I love this, right, why not have a nice car, but it's not the car. That's the important thing. And let's say it's people gonna look at you go, Oh, well, he must be really successful. He's, he's got a nice new car might be Oh, wow, I wish I could have that sort of car. No, no, because it feels good to have nice things, and why not have nice things of your choosing? Yeah, whether whether it's as long as it's within your possibilities, and you're not going to get yourself into a place that that's insecure, will then give you life, I say do do what you're going to make you feel good, as long as it's in your highest integrity. Now, what I also know is to make sure you are in your highest integrity, like I talked about, in episode recently is you've got to put yourself first. So how long will you continue to maybe stay in a job that you don't love to explore how you can grow and make more money in that role, when maybe there's not the passion for when maybe you're just doing it because of financial necessity, instead of looking at well, when I when I come to the end of my life, because this is what everyone says when they do, they're faced with their mortality as like, those things weren't important. I wish I'd spent more time on myself on my happiness on my relationships. That's what's important. And you can do it, but you can do both. You only have to look at how many people are out there who are now creating side hustles. They're launching new businesses, or they're just doing something on the side because they love it. Because they're looking for more of that fulfillment. Maybe they're dedicating themselves more to exercise to their golf game to an art or a craft or something that's just giving them so much joy. Start to look at, okay, well, I've hit a brick wall in these different areas. How can I look at that differently? How can I re envision that part of my life? How can I credit all new direction, start looking at options to bring more of this into my life. And I'm not I'm telling you, that doesn't mean it's going to be easy. It might mean that you have to actually get really clear on your time, it might mean you have to say no to some people really important people in your life. And instead say I'm actually going to focus some time and energy into myself here. Remember, when my wife was toying with the idea of running a marathon? And she was saying, it's, you know, it's gonna take up so much time and got time? Well, we'll chatted the four of us. And it's like, well, we can they're gonna give you every opportunity to make this happen. And we'll step up and cover some spaces. Because that's how passionate she was about it. And we did and was such a buzz for the three of us watching her finish that marathon and run the last 500 meters where they're like, What an experience for all of us. But when there's something that you're passionate about, and you're prepared to put yourself out there, even just starting with the people closest to you, well, then you'd be surprised what you'll be able what time you'll be able to find what energy you'd be able to find and how much people were prepared to come on the road for you. So wherever you are now on this life journey and wherever you're thinking that you need to change, re envision, find more of that passion, and start just being curious about what the future could hold instead of coming up with reasons why not find the reasons why. Then you start finding some answers, and you never know what you want.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat, email me at info at in Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at a Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform