The Curse of Knowledge

I'm Kinsey Machos, your host and founder of the category Queen. Welcome to the podcast for coaches, consultants, and course creators who don't just want to dominate their niche, but they desire to play in their own league. My mission is to help you unlock the power of your unique brilliance and use it as a vehicle to gain recognition, reach more people, and make more money. Not too long ago, I took a bold leap, leaving behind a six figure corporate salary with nothing more than a used MacBook and a burning desire for more freedom. Today, our brand has become globally recognized, helping thousands of female founders to become industry leading experts. Join us each week as we go on a journey together to discuss mindset, marketing and money, and more importantly, the real life discussions about balancing success with motherhood and marriage.

Because we're a community of women who build and scale impact driven businesses, but do it without sacrificing the things that matter most to us. Welcome to the category queen show. Hello, my fellow category queens. So good to be here with you today. I hope you are having a fantastic week. I just got back from Arizona. We went to my daughter's cheer tournament. She wrapped up the season with her regionals competition. They got a bid to regionals at their last competition in Utah about a month ago, and it was so great. She has worked so hard this season. This has been a really hard season for her. She was only one of two returning elite cheerleaders on her team. The rest were brand new to elite cheer. And she was really pushed in so many ways.

And it was really cool to see her inner growth and watching her really develop her leadership skills and her patience and her compassion. You know, I think that there's so many lessons to be learned in sports, especially as kids. Sports are getting so much more competitive and so much pressure is added to them. And I'm really trying to watch that carefully. Obviously, there is, I think, something to be said about, you know, too much pressure. But, you know, we, I think there's just a lot of connection and overlap around this idea. Like we always want to be the best, or we always want to be on the best team, but where the growth actually happens and where we learn the most is actually when we lose or when we have to, basically.

Or when you have the unfair advantage, if you will, or that, you know, what is your unfair advantage? And I had so many conversations with her about this and, you know, she was really disappointed initially when she had learned that her team was all brand new because the season before that, they were really elevated and they took home so many first and second place awards, they would hit zero basically every routine they did, which meant there was no deductions. It's like executing a perfect routine, and that was her first year on elite cheer, and so that was sort of her benchmark. And so this year, I'm so glad that she was on the team that she was, because she had to learn new lessons and she had to really feel like, know what it feels like to fail.

And you don't want that for your kiddos, obviously. But again, that's where the growth happens. And so I just really loved seeing her wrap up this season at regionals. They had a really deep division, so there was 14 other teams that they were competing against and they didn't even place in the top ten. But again, she. The growth that this team had together and the trials and tribulations, I mean, they put in extra work, they had extra practice. I mean, it was just really cool to see. So I think that I reflected that even in my own life, in my own business, and how this applies to our sort of, like, overachieving mentality of, like, always winning or always being the best. But I know you've heard me say so many times over that's actually not where you learn.

The lessons you need to learn is when you're winning, it's always when you're losing. So really cool to see that those connections and also for her to have those really incredible lessons learned that she may not have otherwise. So I want to talk today about this idea of knowledge being a curse. This has been something that has been really, I would say, a big challenge for me, and I haven't been able to pinpoint it and or really articulate it in a way that maybe would be meaningful for you and. Or that you would resonate with until recently. And so that's why I'm bringing this conversation to you, because I think that if you don't resonate with it now, you absolutely will later.

And also, I think that it gives context to sort of seasons of growth and what to prepare yourself for and or just watch for. You know, if somebody had given me this lesson that I'm about to give to you, I think I could have probably avoided a lot of self sabotage. I could have probably saved a lot of time not wasting and just been more aware of what was really happening. So when you're just getting going on your business and growing in your expertise, growing in your confidence, there's this sort of unawareness to what you're actually doing. And this is actually a really huge advantage. The naivety within that is actually your superpower.

And whether you, quote, unquote, feel confident in yourself or not, I think that based on my experience, it's likely that you may experience confidence more than you'll ever know in this very season. And I realized this. You know, I've had this awareness of, like, man, when I look back at my first few years as a new business owner, I was really, truly, I felt unstoppable. And it wasn't about, like, fake it till you make it. It was just, like, just really going all in on where I was at and bringing what I knew to be true to the table with an all in mentality. I didn't need to pretend to be somebody that I wasn't. I never felt like I needed more in order to sort of, like, prove my authority or, like, prove my credibility to my audience or my clients.

I was just like, yes. Like, I am either one step or a few steps ahead of people, and I 100% believe I could help them. And that served me so well. But as time went on and as my business grew and I also grew in my expertise and I expanded my knowledge, what happened was that confidence actually shrunk, but I didn't really know how to express that feeling, and I didn't really know what was happening until I came across this concept, which is called the Dunning Kruger effect. And what this is that it's a cognitive bias where individuals with low ability or knowledge in a particular area overestimate their own ability or knowledge. Essentially, those with less knowledge are often unaware of their lack of understanding, leading them to feel more confident than maybe is warranted.

Conversely, individuals with more knowledge understand their limits of their knowledge and the complexity of tasks, often resulting in lower confidence about their abilities. This is the Dunning Kruger effect. And I was like, oh, my gosh. So I came across this, and I was like, this is exactly my journey. And I could never really again articulate it in a way that made sense. I've shared before on the podcast that there was this sense of risk taking that I sort of lost, because the more that you fail, it's like, the more you understand the risks that are. That are at stake. And also, the bigger you grow, the more it feels like you have to lose. So I knew that was happening, but as far as my own knowledge and my voice, I couldn't figure out why I kept feeling smaller.

And I'm totally being vulnerable here, completely transparent. And so you'll have to just bear with me. But I think that, again, if I would have sort of understood it in this way, maybe a year or two ago, I think I could have just seen it for what it was and moved through this season a little bit more graciously, if you will. But I think that what happened was I didn't know. I didn't really know what was happening. I couldn't understand why it was so hard for me to, like, write a piece of content or put myself out there when for so many years prior, it was so effortless and easy.

And with that sort of shift, what happened also was like, there was this shame and there was this judgment that was starting to creep in of like, well, this is exactly what I teach people, and yet I'm struggling to do it for myself. Like, what will people think of me? Right? And then there's this, like, fraudulent type of, you know, imposter syndrome that started to creep in and then that just continues to spiral. And then, you know, I found myself in this just, like, cycle of, like, why, you know, why am I feeling this way? And why do I feel so stuck in my own head? And this dunning Kruger effect just puts it in such a beautiful context and also helps us see, like, really what that journey looks like.

And it all really, again, makes sense because when you think about life in general, this too applies. And I want to connect this to another piece of context because I think that there's no irony in the fact that this also came to light in this Bible study that I'm in. And it just, again, highlights where we need to really lean in and what to become aware of and how to move through it so that we don't self sabotage, so that we don't lose momentum, so that we don't lose our voice. Because ultimately, that is the most important thing, is that you keep leaning into your unique brilliance, you keep leveraging your gifts to make a difference and that you feel confident to go out and help people and continue to help yourself. Right.

Live your best life, because that's what you've been called to do. But unfortunately, there is going to become a season where you will or several seasons where you do tend to question that. So let's bring it back to this Bible study, because I signed up for this Bible study through our church. It's called path to purpose. And it's the study of the book of ecclesiastes, which is in the Old Testament, and it is again, so divine. I think that these just continued to be nudges from God of continuing to keep you on your path, even if you don't really know what that looks like. I had been approached about this Bible study before, and they announced it at church, and I was like, oh, yeah, that sounds amazing. Life happens.

And my girlfriend texts me, you know, the night before I was supposed to be there, and she's like, hey, are you still coming? I was like, oh, man. I was like, man, I'm so busy that day. Like, that sounded nice, but actually, I don't know that I want to go, but I was like, you know, I need to preserve time for this, right? When I preserve time to go deep with the word and create space to really let some of these things unfold. There's so much beauty that happens on the other side of that, and this is just one of those things, because the first day of that study was yesterday. And the message just, I can't even put into words how it deeply hit me in some painful ways, but also in the most beautiful ways.

But this scripture also plays into this theme of knowledge being a curse. And ecclesiastes, chapter one, verse 18, says, for with much wisdom comes much sorrow. The more knowledge, the more grief. And I was like, holy cow. And when you really unpack that, if you think about this, even outside of the lens of business and you journey through life, I think we can all really agree that the more that you're exposed to, the more that you understand the fragility of life and what's at risk, right? It's just like how, you know, if a friend tragically dies and it has you reminding of, like, the things that you take advantage of, or you have a kiddo get sick or hurt, and it reminds you of, like, how. How fast everything can be taken away from you. And this can do good, right?

It can help you really lean into the. The smaller moments of life and not taking things for granted, but it can also lead to bad. And I think that's really the blessing and the curse of knowledge. And even in the way that they say it in ecclesiastes around, this idea of the more knowledge, the more grief, I, like, 1000%, really resonate with that. And when you are building a business, and I think, for me, I have failed so many times. I have made so many bad decisions. I have hurt people. I have made, you know, financial mistakes. I've made bad pivots. Like, I can't even tell you, like, how many, you know, failures I've had along the way. And I can't say that's inevitable. And it is necessary. And it is a part of the journey. And you can succeed without failing.

But there's this tenderness that happens, and there's this sort of sacredness within that of like, oh, my gosh, like, can. I don't want to. I don't want that to happen again. Right? Once you actually feel the pain of it's like, well, how do I do everything that I can to avoid feeling that pain again? But that's just not the way that it works. And I think this is why being a business owner doesn't work for most people, because most people are not willing to literally accept that. That's just the way that it is. Right? Is like, if I want to continue to grow and succeed in my business, that also means that I have to continue to fail and feel pain in my business. And it's just like, what? Like, who would even sign up for that, right? It all sounds just crazy.

And there's been so many times where I'm like, holy heck, it would be so much easier to just go clock in and clock out of a job, right? And it's like there's so much less, so much, so many things that I could avoid. There's so many things that I wouldn't have to worry about. There would be this ease about that. But at the end of the day, that's not what I've been called to do. That is not what I've been called to step into. And so am I willing to experience the pain and the curse of my knowledge and the curse of my wisdom to continue to persevere? And the answer for me is yes. But for some, that may be a no. But I think that through this context of ecclesiastes and the Dunning Kruger effect, it's knowing.

It's having the knowing that as you grow in your knowledge, in your expertise in your business, there is going to be these things that creep in. You're going to have a sense of shrinking, if you will. You're going to have a sense of smile, smallness, if you will. Because when you're opened up to so much more, you realize, oh, my gosh, I'm literally just a fraction. Like a tiny, tiny little fraction of that. And the comparisonitis goes up. Right? When you think it's bad in the beginning, it's like, just wait. And you may start to question your ability to succeed. And I'm sharing this not to scare you, but I'm just sharing this to say that this is 100% in your control. And when you just have awareness of it. You can move yourself through it.

And so what is after this sort of, like, morbid discussion? What are some things, what are good things that come from this? Because, yes, knowledge is a curse. There's a blessing in it, and there's this darker side to it. And when it comes to even wisdom and growth, same thing. There's a darkness and there's a light. But let's talk about the light. Let's talk about the good, because that's what we're all holding on to. And I want you to know that on the other side of that curse is so many other blessings and amazing things to unfold for you. And that's what I hope to give you is just that, hope, if you will, and the space for you to hold on to that. So, first of all, there's this sense of empathy and compassion.

I think that's probably the biggest thing for me, is that when you have incredible success and you have this sort of, like, unstoppable nature, and then you kind of move into this season of shrinking or, you know, questioning and you know, again, you gain all this knowledge and you start to see yourself as, like, so much smaller than this entire ecosystem of wisdom. What it does is it actually, it's very humbling. And for me, too, it allows me to still stay connected to the pain, the challenges, the struggles of my clients, of my students. Right? It's like, yes, I've already moved past that season of where you're at. Maybe you're going to six figures, multiple six figures.

You're scaling an offer, whatever that looks like, you know, I've already done that, but I still know what it feels like to be in that pain, that struggle, that challenge, and it humbles me. Right. And it allows me to still empathize and have compassion instead of this sort of, like, get over it type of mentality or, you know, a disconnect from the emotional piece of it. And I think that really is what a lot of people need. When you think about your own clients, your own students, right, they need someone to hold that space for their emotions. And if you don't know what that feels like or you have a new sense of sort of like a disconnect from it, then it's harder to coach someone through it.

And when you don't have compassion for your people, it could create a disconnect or a severed relationship, if you will. And so, first and foremost, I think for me, the biggest thing that's happened in this season of, like, the knowledge of curse, or the curse of knowledge, if you will, is 100% the empathy and compassion and the humility within that, I will continue to be reminded of that humility. It's like anytime I have put myself on the pedestal, if you will, I'm always knocked down. And God is like, no. Like, no, no. This is not where you belong. And it's so frustrating, but it keeps me grounded. Secondly, it's going to build this purposeful action within you. So there is going to be, or you may have experienced a level of stall or stuckness.

So as you start to grow and you might be experiencing this, like, dunning Kruger effect where it's like, gosh, you know, as your knowledge deepens, it's like you feel almost more limited by it. And so for me, what was happening is instead of moving through it would just stalled me. It paralyzed me. I was just constantly overanalyzing it. I was trying to figure out what was happening. And so instead of taking action, I just did nothing but what you can do instead. And what I've learned from this is that I can take what I've learned. I can really look at that historical pathway of my lessons learned and just remind myself of what my knowledge is and what it can do for others and align that with action that is purposeful.

And I think there's seasons of business where it's like, you just take action. Like, you hear this, like, massive action, just take action. Just go, go, right? And I think that works to some extent, but there will be times where just taking action to take action doesn't work, and ultimately it will burn you out. And so what this new knowledge or this new sort of awareness of your knowledge can do for you is it can lead to more purposeful action, right. And really making informed decisions and taking those actions that can lead to the desires that you have and the results that you want to create, right? And so it can start to mean even doing less but better, right? And so it's like, well, you know, now what works? You know, now what doesn't work.

So let's take that and move it into this streamline of purposeful action. And then the last pieces of this, of, like, what's good of this season is the spiritual depth and the personal growth, right? Like, you really learn how to go deeper with yourself and connecting to something bigger than yourself, because when you reach that level of, like, oh, my gosh, like, and you have this awareness of, there's, this is so much bigger than me. Right. And you realize you can't grind by yourself anymore. And you need to connect to a source, an energetic source that's so much bigger than you, right? And you realize that your business isn't just to bring in revenue. It's really to fulfill a deeper mission, a deeper purpose. You have to. You're forced to connect to that. And whether that's God or universe for you, it.

It really, truly is 100% non negotiable. The most successful people I know are people that would consider themselves spiritually mature. They're on a journey of spirituality. And if you're not connected to that source and you're not tapping into that again, you're so much more vulnerable to burnout. And it's this constant hamster wheel of judging yourself, failing, but not picking yourself back up to succeed. And it just goes downhill from there. And it's not pretty. And so it forces you to just connect to something so much bigger than you so that you can really tap into that energetic source that's going to really propel you forward. And the personal growth within that is like, you develop a sense of patience and resilience and courage and maturity. And, you know, I see this even with the people that I coach.

It's like, you know, with new business owners, it's like they have so much more to grow within themselves to really reach the goals that they're reaching for. Right. It's like we talk about all the time, you're setting a goal and you go to achieve that goal, but in order to achieve that goal, you have to become someone different. And that's the journey that's painful when you have to become someone new. Right. New thoughts, new feelings, new behaviors. That's what most people aren't able to really go forward with because that's painful. You're shedding old identity and you're moving into a new identity, and that's really the spiritual piece to all of it, right? But you have more of that. The bigger your goals are, the more responsibility that you have to hold in order to hold that right.

You have to go on that journey of growing. And again, this is so much easier. I won't say easier, but it will be so much more meaningful for you if you have that spiritual component and really exploring that relationship with God, if you will. And in anything that you do, trusting and having faith. Right. Because that's going to be the thing that comforts you. That's going to be the thing that guides you. It's not a better strategy. It's not a better mentor. It's not more followers. I promise, all those things will fade, right? And those maybe band aid solutions from here to there, maybe making a little bit more money is like, oh, I can.

If I can just make a little bit more money, then I can breathe, then I can make better decisions, and then I can hire that person, and then I'll be able to feel better and take time to myself. None of that actually will happen. I've been in that trap before. I feel like even I'm in it now, where I keep being tested of. Like, there's so many things that I could do right now in what I know works to move the needle. But I've already committed to not going back to that old version of myself and that commitment, that requ, again, that requires resilience. And if you aren't committed to moving forward and becoming that version of you, then just puts you back, right back on that cycle of burnout.

So remember that as you grow and you expand in your knowledge, you expand in your expertise, you expand in your business, this will absolutely creep in for you. And whether it is now or it's about to, just know what it is. I think just knowing, just being aware of it is going to help you not turn your back on something that you've built, that you've spent so much time building. It's also not going to stall you out, right. From continuing to share your gifts and continuing to move towards your goals. And now we know why.

We know the good in it, and we know what's on the other side of that and how to really leverage the advantages of really that season of the greater knowledge and the wisdom and how to continue to propel that forward and continue to do the thing that you've been called to do. So, my friend, I hope this episode resonated with you. If you loved it, send me a message. Shoot me a message on Instagram. Enzymeachis. Let me know what you thought. Take a screenshot. Tag me whatever that looks like for you. And remember, your knowledge is a gift. You are a gift. Your unique brilliance is a gift. And more people need that. So don't stop sharing it, no matter where you are in your season of growth. All right, my friends, I'll see you next week. Hey.

If you're ready to stand out online and get paying clients consistently without having to fumble your way through tech run ads or create complicated funnels, I want to invite you to join us in the category queen school, where you're going to learn my simple, proven formula for getting clients online. It's risk free. You either make your money back or we'll give you a refund. Just head over to kinseymachos.com/thecqschool and join today to get instant access. We'll see you inside.