How To Get Unstuck By Becoming A Better Decision-Maker

I'm Kinsey Machos, your host and founder of the category Queen. Welcome to the podcast for coaches, consultants, and course creators who don't just want to dominate their niche, but they desire to play in their own league. My mission is to help you unlock the power of your unique brilliance and use it as a vehicle to gain recognition, reach more people, and make more money. Not too long ago, I took a bold leap, leaving behind a six figure corporate salary with nothing more than a used MacBook and a burning desire for more freedom. Today, our brand has become globally recognized, helping thousands of female founders to become industry leading experts. Join us each week as we go on a journey together to discuss mindset, marketing and money, and more importantly, the real life discussions about balancing success with motherhood and marriage.

Because we're a community of women who build and scale impact driven businesses, but do it without sacrificing the things that matter most to us. Welcome to the category queen show. Hello my friends. Welcome back to the show. I am going to talk to you today about a really amazing framework you can use to make better decisions or just to make some decisions. I know so many of you are in a season where you're feeling paralyzed and it's creating you to do nothing, and that is a decision to do nothing. But I think that it's a level of unawareness that you may not have right now. And so we really want to bring you to the place where you can get out of either a season of stuckness or really amplify your momentum and results by making better decisions.

But all of this is really important because it does build your skill as a better decision maker. And why is it important to be a better decision maker or become a good decision maker? Well, there's a lot of different reasons why, but I think that instead of me telling you it's important, I grabbed some data so that you can see why it is or should be a core focus of yours as you start to really study your own models or frameworks for decisions and what's causing you to stay in this indecisive modality. So first of all, if you haven't already, you need to read, think and grow rich by Napoleon Hill. You'll probably hear me reference this a lot, as I always have been referencing it.

But one of the things that, or the whole purpose of the book is Napoleon Hill goes on this journey to really study the wealthiest people on the planet at the time, and what he did was extract the main characteristics or themes across all of these people, and he found certain characteristics across all of them, and talks to them, or speaks to them in the book. And one of them is decisiveness. And what's really cool and good news for all of us is that these skills, these characteristics, are not things that we're born with. These are things that we develop. And that's why this is so overlooked, is because when you hear decision making skills and becoming a better decision maker, it's not really all that sexy or doesn't feel that urgent, but it really, truly is.

An underlying current of successful people, and successful leaves clues. And so these are the things that we need to develop within ourselves. And sometimes it can feel a little bit ambiguous. And that's what I hope to unpack for you today, by giving you a framework to walk through as you make decisions, but then to also put it on the forefront for you, so that, you know, every time that you're really faced with these small or large decisions, whether it's going out to eat, or introducing a new offer, or deciding to move, you can really rely on something that moves you through this process of making better decisions so you're not stuck in parallelization. So I know that when you don't make decisions, it expends a lot of extra unnecessary energy. Being indecisive actually is more work than being decisive.

There's a lot of fear around making the wrong decision, and so the thought is, or the unawareness around just doing nothing at all really sinks in. But I think we could all agree that doing nothing at all is not going to serve anybody. And so, becoming a better decision maker or becoming a better decision maker is a characteristic of wealthy people. And so hopefully that alone is motivation for you to become and develop your decision making muscle. But also, I have some fun stats here, data that I pulled to just further anchor the importance of this skill. Research by McKinsey and company found that businesses that make decisions quickly and with conviction, even with less than perfect information, are twice as likely to deliver top quartile financial performance within their industries.

So that's a little bit corporate language, but I think that within this, we can really come to the conclusion that businesses that make quick decisions with convision or conviction are performing at a higher percentage, at the top 25%. So just by really starting to develop these skills, you're going to increase your revenue. And then furthermore, a study by Bain and company revealed that decision effectiveness and financial performance are correlated at a 95% confidence level. So companies with better decision making processes generate higher returns on their investments, suggesting a direct link between decision quality and financial success. So I am very money driven.

And so hopefully this, for you, really helps connect the dots of, like, okay, maybe I should start to really think about how I make decisions, why I make decisions, and really be more thoughtful as you move through your day, because you're likely in a spot of decision fatigue, always having to make decisions. And so you want to develop this framework or system that you can follow. So it's not an open loop all the time, because, again, if we keep loops open, we're just, it's like an energy league.

So what I want to do is introduce a framework for you to follow that's going to allow you to give you some tools in the sense of when you're faced with a decision, likely a bigger decision, you can start to use this framework to walk you through a process that gives you clarity at the end of it all. But what I also want to paint the picture around is how do you know if you're not a good decision maker? Because I think that this, too, can help you really qualify yourself or disqualify yourself and almost even get honest with yourself. Because I think we all like to believe we're this or that, but when it comes down to it, really just asking ourselves, where do I have opportunity to grow?

And I think that we all, regardless of the season of business you're in or how qualified or experienced you are, there's always opportunity to grow in this area. But one of the things that are, when we think about, like, symptoms of poor decision making, it will help you see, like, oh, this is why I'm feeling this way, or, oh, this is why I'm happening. And so I want to go through this, and then we'll go through the framework. So that, again, I'm kind of capturing your attention and then putting you in a position where it's like, okay, I need to address this head on and it's time to make a change. So a couple things to really note. If you are not a good decision maker or you are making bad decisions, here's some things that come up for you. A obviously procrastination.

So if you're not good at making decisions, then you're constantly delaying your work or missing opportunities, or you are doing last minute rushes to meet deadlines, which also increases stress. So procrastination is obviously the number one thing. I think that there's a lot of layers within procrastination that we could unpack, because really, when we're not actually doing something and we're procrastinating, that there's kind of an underlying current there of some belief or limitation. But ultimately how we solve that is to make better decisions. The other symptom, if you will, poor decision making is inconsistency. So when you are constantly doing things and maybe you are making decisions but they're not the best decisions and you're not thorough with them, then you're constantly changing your strategies or you're stopping, starting, stopping, starting.

You're kind of hasty on these decisions and don't really consider the consequences of what's going to unfold after that. So this is really causing, you know, potential like damage, emotional, mental, physical damage, really, if you think about inconsistency and like you maybe won't follow a diet or you're not consistent with your content or you're inconsistent with how you show up in your relationships, I think that we're all guilty of this 100%, but increased inconsistency is going to directly be a symptom of poor decision making. The other component to this is the over reliance on others. This is a huge one, I think in the coaching industry is we're taught that we need to get mentors and hire and invest in coaching programs and masterminds and things like that.

And yes, we need to look to others that have already been where we're going and we can absolutely shortcut that pathway. We also have to know that building that self trust within ourselves and learning how to make decisions for ourselves and what's best for us is more important than getting mentors advice. And if you don't know how to filter out sort of what, you know, the advice or feedback you receive versus what you truly want and or desire and or quote unquote should do, that's when we have this sort of divide and you're going to start building something that's out of alignment with you or doing something that you don't really want to do. There's a lot of different scenarios within that. But ultimately when we're relying on others to make our decisions, that is not a good place to be.

And then lastly, signs of poor decision making is obviously like the emotional piece of stress and anxiety. And when we are even in relation to the procrastination, right, when we're constantly chasing deadlines or we aren't really sure what the best decision is and so we're putting all this pressure on ourselves to make the quote unquote right decision. There's no doubt that this drastically impacts your emotional and mental health. And it really truly, I think takes such a big toll on people than they realize because of this perfectionist mentality or fear around what if, I mean, there's so many emotions that go into this, and so if you are not developing that decision making skill within yourself, there's absolutely going to be increased, you know, stress, anxiety, sadness, worry, etcetera.

So if you resonate with any of those, good news for you, we have, I have a framework for you to follow. But also I just want to note that you're not alone. I even resonate with these still. And I'm not perfect in making decisions, but I do know that not making decisions is not the best way. And I do know, just like I mentioned, that this is a skill we must continue to strengthen. Just like you're going to the gym and lifting weights, right? We're just going to continue to make it a focus and a priority, continuously building that characteristic within us to better decision makers. So let's talk about this decision making framework. And it's the values decision making framework. So if we dissect each letter in values, this is going to help you build a process.

Anytime you're faced with a small or large decision, obviously, if you're being asked to go out to eat and you don't know where to go, you may not need to pull out this full framework, but it's going to allow you to really compartmentalize, if you will, some decisions. Because a lot of times the immediate reaction to the decisions that we have to make are emotions. And when we get emotions tied up in there, we have a hard time really dissecting what's right or what's not right or knowing what those next steps need to be. So this is going to help you compartmentalize that and separate from the emotion of it, but then also move swiftly so you can continue to stay in momentum. So the v in values is validating the decisions importance.

So this alone could allow you to make better decisions and not even have to move forward in anything else in some of these smaller decisions, because sometimes we place way too much weight on small decisions. And so when you start and when you stop and just really ask yourself, what is the importance of this decision, you will eliminate a lot of unnecessary suffering. So this could look like whether somebody is asking you to attend a networking event and you're automatically spiraling into this stress because it's like you don't know if you should go. The thought of going creates a little bit of anxiety, wondering what you should say. You're already starting to future cast what that's going to look and feel like. And now we've already, we've just inserted these new negative emotions without even making a decision.

But when we just ask ourselves, like, is this going to matter one week from now, five months from now, one year from now, that is going to immediately soften some of these smaller decisions. Yet the things that we kind of put too much weight on at first glance. So when we stop and validate how important this is, this allows you to, again, remove some extra emotion and really assess where to go from here. So asking yourself things like, is this aligned with, you know, my long term goals? Is this aligned with my personal goals? How is this going to impact me and my business? And I think ultimately asking yourself the question, is this even going to matter?

You know, one week from now or six months from now, once you've really validated the importance of that decision, now we can start to really assess what our options are, but we move into the a, which is assessing the available information. So when you're able to really understand what is supporting this overall decision, it helps you make a better decision. So when we start to go on this journey of collecting information or data that can support this will also start to immediately put us into action without even really knowing it, right. Because when we're proactive and we're not staying in sort of this indecisive, that alone will keep you in momentum. Right. Because an object in motion stays in motion. So just by starting to collect information, you're already making such huge traction towards making a decision.

And so when we assess that available information, this is going to look different for every type of decision. But let's say you're having a hard time deciding which niche to choose. And when you start to sink into this, and I'm only using this example because I know so many of you sit with this, or even when within your niche, you're sort of like, where can I get more clear? Or which type of avatar should I serve? There's so many, you know, there's so much drama around niching down. But if we walk you through this process using this framework, this will give you some, again, a launchpad for making the quote unquote right decision. But let's say you're having a hard time here and really thinking about what do you already know? What do you need to know? What are the market trends?

What are the, what are the reports? What do you have from a logical, analytical perspective that could help support this particular information? And so if you are somebody who is multi passionate and you're not sure where to start. First, you can start to think about, well, where would I have the most Roi? I'm always going to recommend, especially if revenue is a priority for you. Like you need to make money or not need, but you desire to actually bring home money for your family and you need to make your first six figures. I'm always going to tell you to prioritize the niche and or the offer that's going to generate that revenue the fastest.

And so when we take that into account in regards to this example, you can start to do some research around what is most lucrative when it comes to these different niche options and start to get some data around that. Next we have the l, which is listing your options. So sometimes when we are presented with a decision, it immediately paralyzes because all we see is the decision in that, again, instant reaction. So if we go back to this example of even being invited to a networking event, and I think that this is so top of mind because this is so big for me, anytime I'm asked to speak on stage or go to a mastermind event or what have you, my body just freezes up because it's that instant fear.

But when we start to, again, kind of separate from that and list out what are my options here you are able to then get into the mode of looking at your options and seeing that you have options. Now that might feel so obvious, but that's actually sometimes the most liberating step. So let's say you're asked to a networking event and you're immediately, if you're like me, you're kind of like paralyzed or you asked to speak on stage, you're like, oh my gosh. But if I were to list out my options, it's like, go to the networking event. Do not go to the networking event. There's really no other options, which is so funny and so obvious when you think about it. But ultimately what it gives you is that freedom of choice. You ultimately have control.

And part of that control could be that you say no to going to this networking event. And when we actually just make that decision and are understanding the follow up of that decision, then we again free up so much brain space and energy because now you've just moved, you've made a decision, you're moving on. But what happens is people sometimes don't even see what their options are or know that they have options, so they just feel stuck. It's like, oh my gosh, I'm so afraid. What if this, what if that, it's like, let's just go to the options. You either go or you don't go, what is it going to be? And we're like, oh, okay, I love this too, because we also apply this to parenting our kiddos.

Instead of telling them they can't do something or they need to do something, we always present options for them because ultimately I want them to have some control in these circumstances. Now this doesn't always work, but for the majority of circumstances, they do have options. And if we think about it even through the lens of like, well, you do have the option not to eat your dinner. But part of making that option or making that decision not to eat your dinner means that you're going to bed hungry. So your options are you eat your dinner now at the table with your family or you go to bed hungry. And so when they're presented with options, they get that power to choose. One is obviously in our minds better than the other, but to them it may not be.

And so we're giving that control to them. And you want to give that control to yourself when faced with these decisions. If we use the niche example, this is also such a powerful exercise because you can list out, okay, here's where I'm actually struggling. Here's where all my ideas are for my niche, and here's where I feel confident serving. It may just be two or three, but listing those out and actually getting clear with yourself where you feel like the options are will open you up to so much more. Now the you in this framework is unpacking the scenarios. This is my favorite one, and I think this is often overlooked but also misunderstood. But this is when we start to actually play out these scenarios in our minds.

And I love to do this more from a visualization and feeling perspective because this allows us to really anchor to what the ultimate goal is and how to embody the future version of ourselves that's aiming for the goals. So if we think about the networking event, you've been asked to attend this networking event, your two options are to go or to not go. And so now we're going to walk through those scenarios in your mind as you visualize the outcome of those scenarios, what's happening, and really the feeling in your body. And so if you really sit with these two scenarios, I'm going to go to the networking event and I'm going to embody that future version of myself that goes to a networking event. And truly, you know, shows up in a room, the room or whatever.

And so you're going to sit with that, you're going to walk yourself through that scenario. What do you want it to look and feel like when you go to your networking event? And then alternatively, what would it look and feel like for you not to go to the event? How would that play out in your life? And how does that connect to that future version of yourself? If we also use the niche example, we can start to really visualize and feel into what your body is really feeling excited around or what you want to feel instead. And so if you have three different options or three different niches that you could ultimately serve, what would that look and feel like to play each of those out in your mind, visualizing that piece, feeling it in your body, and really noticing what comes up sometimes.

And this requires a little bit more skill, but sometimes your body tells you exactly what the right answer is. Now, this isn't the immediate reaction, right? Sometimes people mistake the fear from something not being right for them. But I would be willing to bet that if you even think about the networking event example and you're growing your business and you feel excited about meeting new connections and embodying that future CEO of you and really capturing a room or captivating a room, I think that would feel pretty exciting to you. And so ultimately it's going to help you make that decision. Same thing goes from your niche for your niche. If you play all of these out and one scenario just sinks in a little bit more than the other, it's going to be a good indicator of like, what to follow.

Now, again, this sometimes requires a little bit more skill because you do have to really tune into the body. If you're just constantly, you know, anxiety driven or you're, your nervous system is just completely unregulated. This is a little bit more difficult. But even from a visualization perspective, completely, fully playing out those scenarios just closes the loop for you because we just go off that instant feeling and we don't even kind of walk ourselves through what that journey would look like if were to make this decision. And so it's really important to, again, get honest with yourselves in these emotional reactions and then really play that out like a movie. And the e in values is evaluating the risk and the reward.

If we think about the two options, going to a networking event or not going to a networking event, and you really think about the pros and cons or the risks and the rewards, you're likely going to find one that's weighted a little bit more importantly. Now, sometimes this might contrast with your ideal scenario, when you start to unpack those scenarios and really visualize them, feel them, but it's likely they will align. But this, again, if, especially if you have a hard time kind of visualizing it, your ideal scenario, or even feeling it in your body, you can go more through analytical approach and think about what are the pros and cons, what are the risk versus rewards and what are you willing to risk. Are you willing to risk being afraid and doing something that scares you?

Or are you willing to risk potential new connections and relationships to grow your business or grow your life or have new friends? Right, that's just related to the networking event. And when you think about it, through a niche, picking a niche or other example, the risk and the word they may not be a lot here, but even just forcing yourself to come up with pros and cons will again just open up new ideas for yourself. And then lastly, just selecting the best option. Now, I say best, but really, truly here, what we want to bring forward is the fact that there's no right or wrong. There is absolutely no right or wrong. And the trick to all of this is that you have to believe that all paths lead to success. All paths lead to success.

Now, not deciding on anything and just letting your emotions drive your decisions is not going to lead you to the success you desire. But if you choose not, if you proactively choose not to go to the networking event, and you're very aware of the risk and the reward, and you've decided that's just not in best alignment for you, it is not going to make or break you. It is going to still lead you to success. If you choose a niche based on what sounds the most exciting and is going to bring you the biggest ROI, that is not going to lead you to a bad decision, it's going to lead you to success. Whether that niche turns out to be the best for you ten years from now or not, that's irrelevant. It's going to lead you to success.

So when we believe that all paths lead to success, that allows us to just make a decision, because what happens is people believe that there is a right or wrong. And so there's this all, like all this added pressure in making the decision, which then just paralyzes you, keeps you stuck, keeps you indecision, and really, again, has you doing nothing. Or worse, you're taking action. But it's from a completely unnecessary, like a space of lack or fear. And that's not going to bring you to results either. And so we have to believe that all paths lead to success. There's no right or wrong, it's just the best option.

And so after really walking you through this framework, building in some analytical and also some woo work if you will, here the emotional side, and we really just allow ourselves to walk through that, then we just decide that all decisions are great and I'm just going to choose the one that feels best right now. And most importantly, I guess probably not the best right now, but what's the best decision that's going to be in alignment to the version of myself that I'm becoming? Sometimes we have to pull ourselves out of current circumstances. If we're always making decisions out of right now and looking around, that is not going to get you forward.

And so that's where that unpacking those solutions or unpacking the scenarios is going to push you towards really stepping into that future version of yourself, kind of assessing the landscape there, who she is, what she's doing, and then really trying to embody those decisions in today. And you just select the best option. Right. You know, whether you feel like you are very intuitive or you're not, or maybe you're more analytical, you know, whatever that looks like for you in your current decision making process, hopefully this framework really helps you see that it requires both and that you're able to really move yourself through this to stay in momentum, make decisions that are aligned with your future and really not get stuck in this icky feeling of paralyzation. It's like, you know, paralyzation by analyzation, if you will.

It's just like constant thinking about making decisions, but never making decisions. And good news for you, there is no right or wrong decisions, but no decisions equal bad. Okay? So developing that muscle, becoming a better decision maker, and I promise not only are you going to have the financial rewards, but you will have the rewards in your life emotionally, right? Less stress, less anxiety, more fun, increased joy. That is where it's at. This, this, my friend, is such a huge impact to that. So I hope you enjoyed this. Don't forget the values decision making framework. Okay, so we have the validate the decision's importance, assess available information, list out your options, unpack the scenarios, evaluate the risk and reward, and then select the best option. And as a reminder, there are no right or wrong options. Alright my friends, I hope you enjoyed this.

Go out there, develop that skill, strengthen that muscle, promise. It will serve you so well. See you next time. Hey, if you're ready to stand out online and get paying clients consistently without having to fumble your way through tech run ads or create complicated funnels. I want to invite you to join us in the category queen school, where you're going to learn my simple, proven formula for getting clients online. It's risk free. You either make your money back or we'll give you a refund. Just head over to kinseymachos.com/thecqschool and join today to get instant access. We'll see you inside.