Beyond Social: Building Real Connections

I'm Kinsey Machos, your host and founder of the category Queen. Welcome to the podcast for coaches, consultants, and course creators who don't just want to dominate their niche, but they desire to play in their own league. My mission is to help you unlock the power of your unique brilliance and use it as a vehicle to gain recognition, reach more people, and make more money. Not too long ago, I took a bold leap, leaving behind a six figure corporate salary with nothing more than a used MacBook and a burning desire for more freedom. Today, our brand has become globally recognized, helping thousands of female founders to become industry leading experts. Join us each week as we go on a journey together to discuss mindset, marketing and money, and more importantly, the real life discussions about balancing success with motherhood and marriage.

Because we're a community of women who build and scale impact driven businesses, but do it without sacrificing the things that matter most to us. Welcome to the category queen show. Hello, my fellow category queens. It's so good to be here with you today. I am coming off of such an incredible weekend. My husband and I had a little getaway and it was so beautiful. And I want to remind you all, especially as overachievers, to prioritize fun in your life. My husband's really good at this, and he continues to really push me out of my quote, unquote, my serious zone, if you will. Sometimes I just take life too seriously, and I'm always kind of like, on this, you know, efficiency or efficacy, and it's just like, let's talk about fun. Let's be fun, and let's go have fun.

And so I am always just passing that along because maybe not everybody has a husband like mine where he is just so good at being youthful and playful and is not as serious as I am. And so here's your reminder to prioritize fun in your life, and you will find that new creativity comes through. You will find yourself rejuvenated, and you will find yourself just, again coming back to your work or to your life a little bit more refreshed. And also just if we're always having fun and making sure that we're prioritizing, that overall life will just obviously be more fun. It's a no brainer. And yet, so many people are not having fun in their lives. So let's talk about networking. Let's talk about local connections. Let's talk about grassroots strategies to growing your business.

So you might have heard me share this story before, but I want to really focus in on this concept because it is so overlooked. Now, I'll be the first one to admit that social media is obviously the biggest lever that we use to grow and scale our business. And as a digital marketing expert, right. I'm always, you know, thinking about online marketing strategies, right? Funnels, evergreen funnels. Launches. Content marketing, upsells, lead magnets, masterclasses, all the things. But ultimately, what I know that we haven't been talking enough about and what I want to make sure that you all understand is that really the foundation of sustainable business is relationships. And I find that because social media is so heavily pushed, if you will, and prioritize, that people get stuck behind the screen and forget the value of growing their network and building relationships with humans.

Okay? Because, yes, it's really cool to grow your following, and it's really cool to see your email subscribers to go up, and it's really cool to see your audience grow. But I know, and I have been reminded time and time again that the biggest success and growth comes from having a network full of people that are amazing, that are either rooting for you, or they're passing referrals to you, or you're passing referrals to them or they're expanding you in some way. And we can't really have this with, you know, hundreds and thousands of followers. So it's like, well, do we want to prioritize quantity or do we want to prioritize quality? Right? And this is where people get hung up because it's like the thought that I need more of insert whatever you think you need more of in order to be successful.

But I'm always going to challenge you to think about less. How can you do less but better? And I think that relationships, connections, networking should be valued as one of the highest priorities in your business. So one of the things that we always teach our clients and students as they're coming through our programs is, okay, yes, we want to give you all the content frameworks that's going to allow people to pay attention to you and convert into clients. Part of those generating activities are also making one to one connections every week. Now, if you're like me, who I got started as an entrepreneur actually in network marketing long ago, and have a little PTSD with sort of the, you know, one to one reach outs, if you will.

And so I think that it can be misconstrued and also it can feel a little spammy if you're just like spamming a bunch of people in their DM's. And this idea of like, quote, unquote one to one reach outs. But that's not what we're talking about here. And so what I want to share with you, first of all, is a story of how I actually got my business off the ground in the early, you know, six months of my first year as a coach. And then also some strategies that you can leverage to start thinking about building your network. Because again, it's the quality of your network and the quality of the relationships within that they're going to 100% propel you into the next level. Okay. Yes. If your content's great online, amazing, amazing.

But I still don't think that is going to outweigh the importance and the value of having really amazing people in your network and having really amazing connections. So one of the things also that I want to share is I just, with a girlfriend of mine, wrapped up a strategy for her. And again, it comes full circle back to this concept of, like, grassroots. And so if you don't know what grassroots is, it's literally like, if you think about building from the ground up, it's like, what is the thing that is going to set the foundation and really allow me to organically grow my business? Not in from organic content, right, but literal. The things that don't feel, quote, unquote, scalable or automated, or maybe they don't even feel efficient, but it's truly the grassroots things.

It's going to be the most natural and also the most valuable. And so when I was early on as a coach, I was still working full time. And the only connections I really had at the time were my most immediate family, a few friends in my neighborhood, because we started to really grow some relationships with our kids parents, right? Because my husband and I were really young parents, and so most of our friends were not having kids yet. And so we entered a completely different new life. And so there created, like, this separation between our quote unquote friends back then and then kind of a gap of like, what we actually desired to have in a friendship.

And we actually found that, surprisingly, in our neighborhood, in the community that were in, because obviously, when you have kids the same age, that's a huge commonality. And so we started to build little friendships here and there. We had our most immediate family, but then I had the corporate world, and that's obviously where I spent a lot of my time. And so if you think about I had these corporate connections and the people that I worked with, my most immediate family, and then some friendships that were starting to blossom. And when I became an entrepreneur, I realized I had nothing that was really connecting me to this way of life that I was starting to desire as an entrepreneur.

So I had to start building my connections not just as an entrepreneur, but also just, like, extending my network because I had, it was so small and also so narrow. Right. It was so corporate driven. And so what I did was I started to invite people to lunch with me. And I, every other week, I found a spot at a restaurant that would hold a couple different, you know, from five to ten people, sometimes 15. And I would just invite women that I wanted to really know or that they had some sort of reputation in the community or, you know, somebody that I wanted to get to know better. And I invited people to the table for lunch, and it was this really informal networking opportunity to just bring women together and connect with one another.

I did this out of also realizing that, like, the networking groups at the time were just, like, really boring and dry and really formal. And yes, there's a purpose for those, and I'm going to circle back to that in a minute. But when I started to really feel this sense of, like, I just want to, like, hang with these women, these cool women, and get to know them, I just wanted it to be a little bit informal. And so every other week, for probably six to eight months, I invited women to lunch, and it was always a different group. And what was really cool that happened was I started to get to know these women. I started to build connections.

They had other women that they wanted to bring the next time, or they invited or told that they needed to come the next time. And then they also became sort of these champions for me and my growth. Did they all become clients? No, but they either had a referral or just knew of me, or they were the ones that were, like, sharing my content or just basically, like, again, champion me because they started to really know my heart. Now, again, I want you to pay attention here, because the core purpose of this lunch that I invited people to was not to sell people on something. It was just to get to know people and build my network. And so that's where I think people get confused, is like, I don't want to be salesy or, well, what do I say?

What do I say at my pitch? And that's not really the purpose here. And that's why I really think of this as grassroots, because it may not be the most immediate. Right? It's like, well, how do I grow fast right now? That is something, too. Again, a misconception is like, the slow way is the slow way when I think actually the slow way is the faster way, but that's for another day. But it's really about the growth of your network. And that will literally propel you in such bigger ways that you, that nothing else ever could, even the best content online. And so I want to make it clear that I was not bringing these women to like pitch all of them, although naturally we talk about what we do and then naturally people have questions about that.

And so it does fold into the conversation. But I'm not there to pitch people. I'm there to grow relationships and any networking type of group. That's really the core purpose. And you can definitely, when someone is being disingenuous about that, you can feel that. And it's so tacky. So don't be that person. But really what I want to highlight here is it was like this really organic way to bring women together. And that really catapulted me in that season because I started to get known in my community and also build connections with women that I had never met before. And that also meant that I was connected to their network, their community. And it's just the ripple effect now, there came a point where I didn't have the capacity to do that and my business grew, so I had less time to do that.

Now. I wish that I stuck with it longer, looking back, and even now I want to get back into spending more time in my community and more time building relationships. But again, it's the things that don't feel scalable now that will serve you in the long run. And I would still, even if you are in that scale mode and, you know, high six, seven figures, it will look and feel maybe a little bit differently for you. But my recommendation is to never move away from this. And we're going to talk about little tactical strategies that you can use based on where you're at in your season of business. But my biggest regret is moving away from that piece too fast and not at least keeping some portion of it in my business.

Now, I want to talk about this strategy that I recommended to my girlfriend, because, again, this is what highlights this grassroots approach. And because people, again, often go to social media, but in this case, I want it to be secondary. Okay? So she is expanding in her niche and her offerings. And so that means we have a new market, right? A new target audience, which means we don't know a lot yet about them. Like you may know about them, you may know of them, you may have been talking about them but we're still really figuring out what it is they want. In this case, it was more of a corporate client, more corporate clientele. And so we are in a new target market and also a new offer.

So when we're starting out in some sort of new phase of our business, whether that's even just a new offer or completely different new niche or you're just getting started, we want to go with the grassroots approach because you're going to learn so much more about your target audience and also get clients faster. And so my recommendation to her, because she was very focused on, like, what her content strategy is, she's primarily on LinkedIn, and so she was talking about some LinkedIn strategies, her lead magnet and things like that. And I was like, hold up, no, no. Here's what I want you to do. And what I had her do was think about who she knew.

So her immediate connections that she had right off the bat, that came to her mind that she could plug into and reach out and talk about this potential offer. And that, again, is sometimes a little bit overwhelming or sort of like, oh, my gosh, I don't want to just reach out and sell something to people. But here was my recommendation to her is, again, we're just serving people, right? So it was like, hey, I have this thing. It's been really profound for the clients that I. That I have been integrating with, and I really think that it's something that you and your team could benefit from. I would love to offer you a complimentary session, totally for free, and then you can decide if this is something that you want to roll out to your team. Would you be open to that? Right.

So we're first leveraging her most immediate connection. And this is where it's really vital to have a network because those are kind of the first people you can really extend that invite to or even just talk to about, hey, I'm thinking about this thing. What do you think? You can get that immediate feedback, but if you don't have that's where you have to build it. It's okay. We all start from zero, right? So it's important to, like, if assess, if you don't have that network that you can start reaching out to, then that's obviously a huge indicator that you need to start building that network, but don't stop building it. Okay. So going back to this example, again, she's first reaching out to her most immediate connections that could really benefit from this.

And it's, again, it's kind of getting in the door with some sort of complimentary session in her case and then just being upfront about, I would love for you to bring this to your team, but. But if you, again, I'm going to offer it to you. If you love it, we can talk about next steps. So then from there, she now has again, a starter pool of people that she can just have that immediate access to. We don't need to write a bunch of content to get that first immediate access or immediate feedback. We don't need to build out this whole marketing funnel for that. We're going to go right to the source and then after that we can start building connections within the local community.

So the connection she does not have yet, but that she wants, that's where she's going to go next. And they can either be fined in a networking group or even just again, a direct reach out. Hey, I want to know more about you. You have a quote unquote, this type of business that I'm really looking to partner with. And because you're local and I'm a business owner as well, I would just love to know more about you. Let's connect again. This is not to just go out and pitch people and spam people. We're building relationships, we're providing service, and we're letting people know this is how I can help.

And so notice how in these two instances, her immediate network of connections and then even the circle outside of that where it's like these are the ideal people that I think of or that I want to work with and starting to build those relationships, it has nothing to do with your content strategy. Okay. And again, I'm still recommending to her that she's creating content consistently showing up online. I don't want anybody to ever stray away from that because that is 100% a core pillar of your business. You have to have that online presence for long term sustainability. But as far as like getting something off the ground and starting to build that foundation of your network, this is it. So there's a couple examples of my own personal journey of just starting out.

And then also an example of someone starting to expand and really test and tweak and go right to the source of the people that she wants to work with. And through that process, what she's going to get is that feedback, right? She's going to be able to actually work with people. So she has the testimonials, she has the people giving her those feedback loops in regards to what's working, what they love, what they don't love. And then she's also building those relationships in the long run. So it's like if they don't want her now or they don't need her services now, well, they will be likely to need them later or they will know somebody that will recommend her. And this is where it's so important.

If I think about my highest ticket clients that came in at that first few years of my business when I was doing private coaching, they always came from a local connection or a referral from someone in my network. Do not underestimate this piece. Okay? And again, I think because social media and content is so highly prioritized, which again, it should be prioritizing your business, but it's over trumping, if you will, actually the most important piece, which is like relationships. And so if that even means that you're starting to build relationships with people in your audience, do that. If you're starting to really think about, well, how do I get referrals? How are people referring me or recommending me? And you don't know the answer to that, then you need to start looking into a process for that.

And if you aren't getting those, well, then maybe we need to take a look at your offer, right? But if you're in that testing phase and you're starting to really build that momentum, you just don't know yet. And so getting that most immediate feedback from the people you know is going to be the most useful. So here's a couple things that I want you to think about and start to build into your day to day strategies. When you prioritize your revenue generating activities, it's not just content. Now, content should be something that you build in every day, every week, right? Whether you're writing every day or you're carving out bigger chunks of time per week to have, you know, at least four to five pieces of content per week, that has to be there.

That is going to just be an added layer to this other component, and it's going to help you refine your communication, which is just going to also help you build those relationships. So it's a really great relationship or a really great sort of cycle of refinement and messaging and offers and marketing. Right. They're kind of feeding into one another, but one can't exist without the other in terms of long term success and long term sustainability. And so a couple other things is a, I want you to, every day or every week, reach out to four to five people and ask them to connect with you. This is, may not be someone in your local community. It could be somebody just in your niche or your industry.

Here's the thing, it is good to have people that you're connected to that are either doing something similar to you or serving your same audience and starting to build those affiliations, if you will. And starting to really know people and starting to really get known just by in large happens when you start having relationships with people in your community, in your niche, in your industry. And so reaching out and just saying, hey, I want to get to know you. I love and be genuine here. Don't use a script, just speak from your heart. If you love their content, let them know if something stuck out to you or you feel like you have commonality with this person, let them know what that is and just have a virtual coffee date with them. Just connect with them. This is not pitching them.

It's just building relationships and just asking how you can be of service to them. How can I support you? And likely they're going to ask the same thing. And you can be clear in what you want, but it's really about the relationship building and really figuring out how you can support one another. So that's the first really key strategy here in establishing and reaching out to, you know, four to five. I mean, you could stretch here, ten people every week and building connections one one, building those relationships. The other component here to consider is local networking. Now, I even, just, when I say that, I want to stab my eyeballs out because networking has never been my sort of go to.

However, you could do it more organically or informal like I did, or you can really start to consider different networking groups that more align with you. But I'm telling you, especially if you leverage the strategies that we teach when it comes to positioning and messaging, you will stick out like a sore thumb in a networking group in the very best way because they're usually pretty dry, they're kind of boring. And so you're going to stick out in that regard. But if you find that it's even more alive or more vibrant, you will then start to build, you know, better connections with people that maybe are more like you or are in, you know, similar niches or industries. But either way, this is allowing you to establish a local presence.

Again, I'm just going to reiterate, do not underestimate the power of having a local presence in whatever community you're in. And so as you're building that local presence, it will feed also into your online presence. And I alluded to this earlier, but it also helped me get that social proof right. If I had people vetting for me because they interacted with me or really got to know me in that one one environment, then they will again, it will add to that overall social proof, that online proof. And then lastly, it's really important to build your network, build relationships by joining, you know, masterminds or peer like groups. And so if you are in groups like that, then I want you to go the extra mile to actually really build relationships with these people.

If you're like me, more of an introvert, it's not really natural for you to, like, make that first step or take that first step to initiate conversation. Then I want you to go outside of your comfort zone and really start doing that. If you are not a part of a group or you're not part of a mastermind in any way, then I strongly recommend you being in one. You know, there's obviously, like lower ticket masterminds that are truly more of like a networking opportunity and there's high ticket masterminds. If you can't afford that's fine. But I will tell you that anything that stretches you and really raises your proximity as far as what's possible for you, that is going to really catapult you and your identity in such a big way.

And also, if you start to build relationships with people that are far beyond you or at least one step ahead of you, it's going to serve you in such a big way. And again, it creates this really amazing foundation of success because you're going to have people rooting for you and vetting for you and likely even potentially becoming your clients one day if or they're recommending people to you. So there's power in peer like groups or mastermind containers where you actually are very invested. Right. People are very invested to be there, and so they just take it more seriously.

This is likely going to be more of an online thing, but I know people even doing local ones, and you can even start up your own peer like group where you're bringing people together and starting to allow people to build relationships with people they would have never met. But ultimately, at the end of the day, the key message here is to prioritize this piece. And I'm just speaking from even experience in admitting that I moved away from this, and I'm starting to build it in more intentionally. Like literally on my calendar, I have, you know, connect with five people and I'm being more even. We're being more proactive in just having more people on the podcast to start building those relationships and expanding the network because it is so powerful.

And I think about the best relationships that have served me so well, not just financially, but emotionally and mentally, right? There's just so many incredible layers to having a great network. And within that you'll find even some of your best friends, right, that are growing with you, growing alongside of you. And that has been such a saving grace for me. So I hope that from this you will build this into your rhythm, into your cadence, every week, every day. Look at it as not a have to, but a must. Look at it as part of your overall marketing strategy. Even though it doesn't feel scalable or it feels like a lot of work, I promise the ROI will be so much bigger. So go out, build your network, build relationships with people, and start to really set the foundation for quality over quantity.

All right, my friend, I hope you enjoy this and we'll talk to you next time. Hey, if you're ready to stand out online and get paying clients consistently without having to fumble your way through tech, run ads or create complicated funnels, I want to invite you to join us in the category queen school, where you're going to learn my simple, proven formula for getting clients online. It's risk free. You either make your money back or we'll give you a refund. Just head over to kinseymachos.com/theCQschool, and join today to get instant access. We'll see you inside.