The Value of Space - Alan Carroll

The Abundance Journey explores all the ways abundance shows up to help you expand the abundance you embody Express and experience as your journey unfold

Welcome this is Elaine Starling, the abundance ambassador and the host of The Abundance Journey podcast and video show. And I'm super super excited because I met this guy Alan Carroll, Alan Carroll is brilliant. I it's one of those things, we started talking about laughing out loud. I'm like, Oh, my gosh, we are twins separated at birth, we have so much alignment in how we think and how we like to structure things. And just, he's awesome. Okay, and I'm really excited that you get a chance to meet Alan. So let me give you a little bit of background. So you kind of know where we're going with this conversation. Because Alan is an educational psychologist who specializes in transpersonal psychology. He founded the Alan Carroll associates 30 years ago, and before that, he was a senior sales training consultant for 10 years at Digital Equipment Corporation. He's dedicated his life in search of tools that can be used by everyone to escape the psychological suffering that's caused by mis identification with our ego. So we reconnect to that vast, transcendent mindful dimension of consciousness that lies just on the other side of the thoughts that we think and between the words that we speak, isn't that cool? I was like, Oh, well. Thank you for coming on the show today.

I love what you had to say. Because it's the truth. There's a power there between the words that you speak I'm excited about being able to share it with your listeners.

Yeah, words are incredibly powerful. We'll talk more about that as well as the space between the words. But what got you started on this? Why are you so passionate about this, that you're covering the space between the words?

Well get backtrack that went up to why am I psychologists know what shows me that pathway? When I'm in my teens out in California, I'm reading these spiritual books about these Yogi people like Palma, Palma, Honza Yogananda from the Self Realization fellowship. And they describe experiences that I never had those experiences. But wow, it certainly seems like my life would be better if I had those experiences of oneness and enlightenment, and all these things they talk about. And so then where do you go to get those? What stores do you go to buy those things from? Well, you go to the psychology stores, so I went to psychology, San Jose State, and then I did a training. I did the s training back in 1973. And that's as took my head and just popped it off. Because it shifted my consciousness. And it got me up onto the stage, to the speaking stage, I assisted in the organization, and I got my, what's the word I want to say? The it moved me through a space of terror. And on the other side of the terror, I became more awake. And then I could take other people through that space of terror, and make it more comfortable and more fun.

To interrupt for a second because terror, terror means different things to different people. I mean, some people love watching horror movies and stuff like that. It's not my scene. But when you talk about terror, are you talking about that anxiety that a lot of people have about speaking on stage and speaking in public or speaking your truth? Is that the terror?

Exactly. It's the it's the ego is on display. And the ego is afraid of rejection, looking like a fool. And I don't want to look like a fool. I want to look professional. I don't I don't want them to laugh at me. And so why would I put myself in a situation where I could be judged, right on stage is a situation in which you are judged. And most people don't do it, they stay in the chair, they don't raise their hand and say, hey, I want to be on the stage.

That is so profound, because honestly, until you're willing to speak your truth and stand up and as who you are, you're not truly contributing at a level that you're capable of, and you're not that connected to spirit to source. So it's really important, the work that you're doing is incredibly valuable. Thank you for doing that. So I do have another question for you because obviously we're talking about abundance, the abundance journey, which is an analogy for your life. How do you define abundance?

I'm in the the ego being business. And I'm in The reducing of suffering business. And I love the concept of Eckhart Tolle, he talked about there's two things, he says there is space, and there's things in space. And the ego focuses on the content, the thoughts that you think. But when you look at the universe, less than 1% of the universe is spent is something as a thing. The ego, it's like, it's all focused on the things. And there's no space at all, when people when people speak. And so you want to be able to stop, you want to be able to pause, and you want to be able to breathe. And when you do that, it creates a space and then you go from the ripples on top of the ocean, to the ocean of abundance, and experience of love, an experience of bliss and experience of joy, which is there for everybody, if they can figure out a way to bypass that thoughts inside their head, which says, oh, no, you'll never be able to do that you are a failure not to be able to do it gotta get got to figure out a way to navigate through that egoic thought about Ireland, you'll never be successful. Every everybody has that thought. And so you have to be able to manage, manage the thoughts that Yeah.

I love your description, because what I heard you say right or wrong, I heard you say that when you are in alignment with the divine when you are able to really connect with Source energy, because you're opening that space to allow that connection to be and you're in that beings space, that to you is true abundance.

That is surrender. You have to be able to surrender, and what are you're surrendering, you're surrendering your point of view. And my point of view is my identity. And that's what makes me me. And even though my life may not work, I don't care, because I'm right, I'm going to do it my way. And I use the analogy of holding onto a cannonball, a 30 pound cannonball jumping into the ocean holding on I'm right, I'm right on right as you go down into the ocean drowning, and all you need to do is let go the cannonball and go to the surface, but the ego is more interested in being right. Then then, sort of survival of my physical body.

So tell me a little bit about a challenge that you see a lot of people struggle with around abundance as you define it, and what are the challenges that they're facing with? What are the problems or the issues that show up? Because they haven't been able to identify that space?

You step back, and you ask yourself, Okay, I am now speaking to you, and your and your audience? And who who is doing the speaking right now? And I would say, well, Alan, that's me. I'm doing the speaking right now. Well, then you step back from that and says, Well, who is Alan, Alan is my identity, who do I identify myself as being and that is then labeled the ego. So as you begin to practice, what I call mindful, spacious speaking, you begin to put empty spaces consciously, between the sounds that you speak. And it will transform your experience of the reality to which use which you see, because you said it yourself. You said that, what I think, in my mind, what I paint in my mind's eye about what's going on out here in front of me, what I think and what I see are the same thing. And if I can paint my interpretation differently, then I will see a different reality in front of me. And that's, that's very, very important to understand, not even understand it, just plant that seed. And that's what mindfulness is all about mine is mindfulness. How do you achieve that state of consciousness?

Well, you're leading into this the perfect thing that I want to talk about next, because obviously, a lot of us struggle with this issue. We want to have that balance between ego who we are unique and different. And that collaboration with Source energy with the divine, where the Divine is flowing through us as us and the words that come through feel like they're not even our words, we're just tapped into a higher source that is speaking through our physical bodies. That feels so awesome. And I love experiencing that. I'm very blessed. I get to do that a lot. But it's a transition right? It takes time to understand how to get into that space. So what was something that you did personally, to shift out of that? To use your words, not use it? Get a lot of space and then get yourself consciously dedicated to incorporating the space. So that you are feeling in flow with the divine. What did you do? How did you get there? From here? You said mindfulness? Yes,

thoughts come to mind. One is the Course of Miracles, we'll put that one over there on that side. And the other one would be public speaking. And one of the ways I train people to do public speaking, is which I'd recommend you go to a quiet place in your home, close the door, sit in a nice, comfortable chair, put a mirror in front of you, keep your physical body absolutely relaxed. And open your eyes and see if you can hold eye contact with yourself in the mirror and not saying anything. That would be step one. And you'll notice that a lot of people can't do that they can't be with themselves in the quiet and solitude of there, no one's judging them, there's nothing, no, there's no danger, and you can't even be with yourself in the mirror. So then you start speaking very slowly to yourself in the mirror, while keeping your body relaxed and breathing. And that takes practice, that's like going to the gym. But that's the steps you need to do in order to control the timing of your speaking while you are speaking, because you've got to be present in this moment of now to tell my body to stop. And then to tell my body to start, I can't be thinking about dinner, I gotta be thinking about grounding myself in my body, my energy has to be embodied, I can't be chasing the thoughts inside my head, I gotta be able to stop chasing the thoughts. Take my attention, focuses on the instrument that's, that's playing the music. And when you focus on the instrument that's playing the music, the two things you do right away, you take a breath, and you relax the body. And most, most speakers, they don't take the breath, they don't relax the body. And so the instrument that's making the sounds is a little bit tense. That face didn't take that breath of enlightenment, take that breath of Oh, and that's available to everybody.

That is such a great reminder, that is really, I always have a little notebook and pen next to me so I can capture ideas. Because everybody I talked to is so brilliant, and I get so many great insights and reminders. And that was really, really spectacular. Sit down and look at yourself in a mirror and hold eye contact for as long as you possibly can. And one of the things that I love to do, Louise Hay talked about just beaming yourself love in the mirror, she has a lot about mirror work, I love and accept myself, just looking at yourself in the mirror and being present with yourself, and letting that flow through you. And that's really powerful. And then being able to have that measured conversation where your body is relaxed. Great, great suggestions. Now, there's a lot of different things that you do with people, what's your favorite way to help other people experience this abundance that you're talking about?

When you watch the amateur speakers that I work with incorporations around the world, nobody is able to control the timing of their speaking. And when you begin to, to watch the video, when they begin to watch the videos, and you say, is there any spaces at all? Between the sounds that you're making? But no, because you're not consciously thinking about pausing and creating an mp3, you're not thinking about that you're thinking about the next thing you want to say. And so when you watch people in a relatively short period of time, watch their video, see what's missing. And then you coach them to begin to tell them okay, ln, take a breath, that's it, no rush, no, take a breath, relax. And what happens is that the when you speak, you are agitating. And when you pause, all that agitation begins to slow down, and you become still, we call that stillness in the in the mindfulness business. And so you end up very still no agitation at all. And when you begin to close your eyes and meditate, you become even Stiller. And so the goal of being a great speaker is to be able to say that say the sounds, but also keep your body still and grounded and present, which can only happen if you have the thought in your head. Alan, take a breath round your body. Look at Elaine's eyes. Oh, I got to tell myself that but no one does that because requires space in between the sounds that you're speaking I don't know how I'm trying to create a space, I got 1000 Things I gotta say right now, you gotta be kidding, they only got 15 more minutes and I got it, I got 10 things, I gotta say what He taught. So there's no space at all. So then so the answer to that one is you have to be selective. In what you say to the audience, you have to understand what is the pain the audience has? What are the issues the audience has in the organization that they're trying to solve? And how are you the doctor, the healer, who's going to come in for 45 minutes and show how your solution? And so that was one of the things missing in the sales conversation. I do a lot of sales training. And so that's one of the things I tell people, hey, what's, what's the value that you bring to the table, to know ahead of time that you understand the issues that they're facing? So then they'll give you their attention? You look like someone who can save him.

Right, right. Well, you know, Alan, there's something that you said, that I really want to emphasize. Because I think it's incredibly important. And something people really want to take away from this conversation. And that is the power of the space, the pause. Now, obviously, I'm a high energy person, and I'm very passionate about talking to awesome people like Yeah, and so I get a little, you know, exuberant, and why words can run together a little bit. At the same time, those pauses that you take in your conversation, are actually to me, this is when you're truly sending love and bliss out to the people that you're talking to, you're creating that space, you're holding that space for them to receive the idea, because every word is an idea. And you're painting a picture. But unless you give them the space to step back and look and see what the picture is, and what it means for them, it's just going to be a glancing blow, they're not even going to pick up on it, they're not going to be able to absorb it. So the space is part of the love that you are giving your audience. And I think that's really, really important concept for people to grasp. So I hope you're feeling the love that Alan's been bringing us because this guy's like glowing.

And a little bit that Werner gave me a winner heart. And yes, training 40 years ago, he talked about the definition of love. And he said love is giving something the space to be the way it is. And the way it is not. Because the ego likes it to be a certain way. And sometimes the things aren't the way the ego wants it to be. And so I suffer. And so love is giving something to space to be the way it is and the way it is not. And so I like when it is the way I want it to be. I don't like it when it's not the way I want it to be. And that goes into well, how do you get out of that trap? How do you how do you get out of the reality in which you live? And you judge it as not fulfilling the way you want it to fulfill you have you now have complaints about what is you have complaints about the universe? You have you have grievances about the universe? Well, that's that's the cannon ball, you're holding on to those grievances and cannonball. So it goes back to what you identify yourself to be. If you identify yourself to be a spiritual being, then then what's being channeled through you as the word of God. Yes, if you see yourself as Alan Carroll and individual separate from the all then what I'm channeling through me is my ego identity. So that is more of a a poverty, consciousness. But when I identify myself as the spirit or the Word of God, then then there's a flow of energy that comes through you. So you then you speak for the Word of God, but we're all words of God, we are beings of life. Yeah, we just get trapped by thinking that I'm just an ego with these thoughts inside my head.

Yeah, when you feel small, it's because you're identifying with your ego. You're not identifying with the fact that you are part of all that is, and you are a conduit for all that is, yeah, I had an incredible experience when I had my stroke and a conversation with our higher power, got a complete download about how everything works, and why we're here and how we can have an incredible life. And so that's why I started this podcast was because, yeah, you are all that and a box of chocolates. And you just don't realize it and getting so enmeshed in the ego is, is the booby prize. It's not the actual intent. And, you know, what are the things I wanted to talk about when you were saying it's easy to actually get distracted and get stuck in judgment about Oh, but I don't really like that. Every single situation you're in, is designed to be a blessing for you. Now often, the blessing is an opportunity for you to grow, might not feel very comfortable. That's what contrast is all about is an opportunity for you to expand into more love, to be more love in the moment for yourself and for others to Create more love in the experience by adding that space, giving people the opportunity to join you and really savor that loving experience. And also to collaborate with other people because the outcome is greater than the sum of its parts when we all join forces, and we're all good, like, Alan and I are collaborating right now to create an incredibly profound and loving experience. For everybody who watches the abundance journey video or listen to the podcast. Hopefully, you're feeling this energetically, because we are deliberately embedding this into every word and every space. It's all here for you. It's your choice, whether you accept it or not. But we're making it available to you. So thank you for what you had to say. I just love that definition of what love truly is the space to be the way it is. And the way it is not. Yeah. Beautiful, beautiful. So I know we were talking a little bit about what you're doing. You've given us kind of some steps. It's, we all want it yesterday, right? It'd be really nice if I could get this whole thing figured out there was already resolved and I could just move on. But sadly, that's not how it works. things show up in baby steps, right? So as somebody who's just getting started on this work, what are those baby steps that you want us to focus on that show us we're on the right track, and we're making progress?

The question is more of a question of commitment. What is your commitment to the journey? If you have a strong commitment to the journey, then regardless of what form the journey takes, every day, you take a step, you take a step, you take a step. And so you and I, you've had a profound spiritual experience with the with the with the doctors and the stroke, I had a profound experience with psychics when I was young and 20 years old, changes of consciousness also, which then sparks the light inside of you, which allows you to walk the path. And so if you're interested in what we are saying, then you are in the right ballpark? And how can we how can we spark the lights? How can we spark that illumination? How can we create the illumination in your consciousness? Well, you have to be able to remove something that is there. And what you're left with is, is nothing. So what does that mean? When you speak, I make sounds and when I don't speak there's nothing so I'm consciously creating nothing, nothing what what is in nothing is relaxation. What's in nothing is the ability to breathe prana energy to 150% more than the competition is doing because you are consciously inhaling they're just relax, they're relying on automatic nervous system to tell them to breathe. But when you pause, I can tell my body to take an extra 150% of oxygen in my body. And that's, that's, that's a smart thing to be able to do, I can tell my body to relax, I can tell my body to ground myself. And what you're doing is you're consciously creating spaces between the thoughts that you think and that releases you from the gravitational effect that those thoughts have on your action. So you shift from reacting to things in front of you to now having a buffer zone in which you can breathe, relax and pause and then maybe respond rather than react, and choose how you're going to speak. And whether you vibrate the air with love, like makes the flowers grow in the greenhouses or I vibrate the gear with my ego eagle and and that's what and what we need to understand is the way we're going to do and so then makes the plants die. So you can choose right now how to vibrate the air, the ego is going to choose to be right. But the being abundance is going to choose to you want love give love, you want to be acknowledged get acknowledged wonder again said if you want to be you don't have to go looking for love what it's worth, when it's where you come from. You've got to be looking for love in your life. You got it, you got to start loving it. But I can't love it because what they did to me and what they are doing to me, I can't love that. So now you're holding on to agreements and what I love about the background of Christianity in the Lord's Prayer and the Apostles Creed. The Apostles Creed said, I believe in the Holy Spirit. I believe in the spirit beyond the physical and I believe in the forgiveness of sin. Or if you can forgive if you can begin to forgive what you consider to be sins inside your life and forgiving it and letting it go. It will shift you from that egoic debt Ready, which causes the suffering to? We're spiritual beings. We're loving beings I speak for the Word of God.

Yeah, that is so beautiful. And you know, you've reminded me of something because I just recently read the latest book from Neale Donald Walsch. Called the god solution. And in that book, he talks about how, when you get to a certain level of spiritual evolvement, from God's perspective, there's nothing to forgive, there's an awareness that we just weren't evolved enough yet. We just didn't have the awareness yet. We didn't have the tools yet. And so of course, you don't expect a baby to run a marathon, you know, you're not going to have to forgive the baby for not running a marathon. Baby's barely crawling, of course, it's not going to run a marathon dA. So I love that perspective of accept who you are, Accept where you are, and choose to expand beyond where you are now. And I want to reiterate the three step process that you just gave us to pay attention to baby steps, these are the baby steps that Alan just told us to pay attention to number one, commit, commit to the process, I would tell you commit to love because that is truly what everything is, that is what you're here to do is expand into more love, be more loving every moment. And so definitely commit, commit to love. Step two, consciously create nothing, consciously create nothing. And what you get out of that consciously creating that nothing is more oxygen, and more groundedness so that you're centered and balanced and aligned with the divine beautiful step three, choose, choose loving thoughts. Yep. Choose to find the love. Sometimes the love is all around you. But it's almost like an Easter egg hunt. Right? It's a scavenger hunt. They're hidden, the opportunities are hidden. And this is part of the game, you're supposed to be looking for love in all the places because it's always there. It's always an opportunity for you to learn and grow and become more than you were in this moment than the moment before. So that is so awesome. Alan, we talked a little bit before we got started on this conversation about your free gift. And I would love to have you share what you're making available to the audience today.

What I would, I'd recommend that go to the website, which we'll talk about ACA mindful u.com. And there is a section on on the website where we do a 30 day challenge. This is your 30 days of commitment. So if they want to go to the website, they can go to the 30 Day Challenge where we start taking the baby steps 3030 3030 day by day by day by day for 30 days that will propel you down the path. And the password does have to be pause. So just type in that password. And you can enter into that, that 30 Day mindfulness journey.

That's wonderful. And Alan, I just want to reassure everybody who's listening and watching that the information on how to access the free gift is going to be in the show notes. So you'll be able to find the information really easily. Wow, what an incredible conversation. But there's one last step, Alan, because here at the abundance journey, we always turn the tables on our fabulous guests, because we know that when you give is when you receive even more, and we love to serve our guests. So what is something that we could do that would help

you?

Something you could do to help me in my mission? Give me an opportunity to be on a TED Talk. Universe out there, if you hear me I want to be on a TED talk. So vibrations this way I want to be able to do that. Excellent. So do for me because I need somebody out there that knows that.

Yeah, I will definitely send you some connections that I have. I know some people who are TEDx coaches, and they have they have TEDx events. And so I know they'd be more than happy to chat with you about what that looks like. And, you know, yeah, absolutely. Anybody here who's listening, I want to make sure that you reach out to Alan, let him know you want his TED talk. Okay, and let him know what the key things are that you want to know through his TED talk, because this guy is just a wealth of information. And we only have a few minutes to chat. I'm so bummed that we're done. But we're not quite done. Because wait just a moment, and we're gonna come back and activate abundance.

Hey, wasn't Alan amazing? I loved what he had to say. And it makes so much sense that when we create the space between the words that we Say, that's when we truly are letting love flow through us when we're more congruent when we're more grounded and oxygenated to so you know, it's an extra win. So it's time for us to activate abundance. And I've got to pick just one of the marvelous things that Elena had to say. And I wrote like a whole pageto pick just one. Oh, okay,

I am going to pick one of the statements that that he shared with us, which is Love is the space to be the way it is. And the way it is not. Love is all actually the definition of love is giving something the space to be the way it is, and the way it is not. So you're looking at something without judgment. Right? So the first step is we're going to celebrate in advance that we have this new understanding of what love is love is when we take the judgment out, and we just allow it to be what it is. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you allowed yourself to be who you are. And you could love yourself, exactly as you are? Because you're amazing. You're the only person who doesn't believe that. Everybody else who knows you knows that. So how about you decide to love you? Right now?

You tell I'm getting a little emotional about it, because I feel it too. I will beaming you so much love, and I can feel your resistance to this. And I'm going to invite you to let go of that resistance. Let go of that judgment. Let go of all that. Yeah, buts. Because I'm really good at Yeah, but I'm the queen of Yeah, but yeah, but I haven't done this yet. Yeah, but I haven't done that yet. Doesn't matter

who you are right now, is what is most needed and treasured. So I'm going to celebrate in advance that you can get this concept and own it, I'm going to invite you to own it right now. So that's step one. Step two, I want to acknowledge just how powerful this concept is. Because when you can be present with something and you don't have to change it, you don't have to modify it, you can accept it as it is, all of a sudden, there's a whole lot more for you to enjoy in life. Because everything is there to nourish and replenish and empower you. How beautiful is that? Step three, appreciate, I appreciate how powerful this is. Because I've let go of judgment. And now everything is a source of nourishment. For me, everything is something that I can savor and enjoy. How does it get any better than this? I don't know, I'm game to try. You know, this is pretty amazing. Step four, we're going to activate abundance by picking a trigger, or putting something on the calendar. So did you remember to do this on a regular basis. For me, I'm going to take a post it note and I'm gonna put love equals the space to be the way it is. And the way it is not. I want to remember that I want to make that front and center. Because when I could show up from that space, and that's truly the love that I'm bringing to the party. I certainly hope that's the love you feel for me that I love and adore you exactly as you are. And I invite you to love and adore you exactly as you are. Everything works perfectly. How could it get any better than

this? Awesome. Now the last step, step five is celebrating god. Look at your progress. Look at how far you've come. Because now you understand the truth of what love really is. And you can own that truth in yourself. And when you do own that truth in yourself, that's what you broadcast out to the world. And when that's how you show up. The other quote that I wrote down that I absolutely love. You don't have to look for love, when that's where you come from and that was from Warner Earhart. How cool is that? Wow, this is Elaine Starling. Thank you so much for joining me and I want to encourage you to visit the abundance journey.com If you haven't signed up for the abundance journey yet, you're in for a huge treat. So check and see when the next time is and join us there. See you soon.