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The new year is right around the corner. It will come and it will go, what you leave in its place is 100% up to you!
In this episode I am going through the big 3 pillars of Family Goal Planning and HOW to do it!
1. Where to start
2. What the goals can look like
3. Your first action step!
You will want to take a listen so you are ready when that ball drops and be able to take advantage of as much of 2022 as possible!
About the Host:
Nellie Harden is a wife of 20+ years, mom to 4 teen/tween daughters, dreamer, adventurer, servant, multipreneur, forever student, and a devoted teacher, but her ride-or-die passion is her work as a Family Life Coach & Mentor.
Coming from a career background in marine mammal sciences, behavioral work, and a host of big life experiences, both great and not some not so great, she decided that designing a life of purpose and freedom was how she and her husband, along with their 4 daughters, wanted to live.
Her work and passions exist in the realms of family and parent mentorship because she believes that a family filled with creativity, fun, laughter, challenge, adventure, problem-solving, hugs, good food, and learning can not only change a person’s life but is the best chance at positively changing the world.
She helps families build Self-Led Discipline™ & Leadership Into their homes, set their children up for a wildly successful life on their terms, and elevates the family experience with big joy, palpable peace, and everyday growth!
With a lifelong passion and curiosity in thought, choice, behavior, and growth she has found incredible joy in helping families shift perspective, find answers, and a path forward.
(Nellie has been coaching families for over 10 years and has degrees in Biology, Animal Behavior, and Psychology. )
LINKS:
Family Success Vault- https://www.nellieharden.com/vault
Website- https://www.nellieharden.com
Online Community- https://www.facebook.com/groups/the6570project
Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/nellieharden/
Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/nellie.harden/
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Hello and welcome to the 6570 family project
Nellie Harden:podcast. If you are a parent of a tween teen or somewhere on the
Nellie Harden:way, this is exactly the place for you. This is the playground
Nellie Harden:for parents who want to raise their kids with intention,
Nellie Harden:strength and joy. Come in here all the discussions, get all the
Nellie Harden:tactics and have lots of laughs along the way. We will dive into
Nellie Harden:the real challenges in raising kids today how to show up as
Nellie Harden:parents and teach your kids how to show up as members of the
Nellie Harden:family and individuals of the world. My name is Mellie Hardin,
Nellie Harden:big city girl turn small town sipping iced tea on the front
Nellie Harden:porch mama, who loves igniting transformation in the hearts and
Nellie Harden:minds of families by helping them build self love, discipline
Nellie Harden:and leadership that elevates the family experience. And sets the
Nellie Harden:kids up with a rock solid foundation they can launch their
Nellie Harden:life on all before they ever leave home. This is the 6570
Nellie Harden:family project. Let's go
Nellie Harden:Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the 6570
Nellie Harden:family project podcast. You guys. It is deep into the
Nellie Harden:holiday season right now for you when this is coming out. I'm a
Nellie Harden:little further back right now. This is being recorded in
Nellie Harden:November. But I know when we are coming out we are super deep
Nellie Harden:into the holiday season. So I hope you've been having a good
Nellie Harden:time. I hope you've been having safe travels. I hope all of
Nellie Harden:those extended family get togethers have been joyous or at
Nellie Harden:least as joyous as they can be. Next week, I'm going to come to
Nellie Harden:you with some information on repairing some of those
Nellie Harden:repairing yourself after those. So stay tuned for next week's
Nellie Harden:episode. But today, you guys, I always take this time of year,
Nellie Harden:this last couple of weeks of a year, and wrap up the year that
Nellie Harden:I've been in and really start to put together the year that I am
Nellie Harden:going into. I don't know if that's something you do to some
Nellie Harden:people do it at the beginning of the next year. For me, I just
Nellie Harden:like to take advantage of every single second of a year. And so
Nellie Harden:I like to do it beforehand. So I'm already when the year comes
Nellie Harden:about, but we are all different. But the the facts, you know,
Nellie Harden:stay the same that we are transitioning from one year to
Nellie Harden:another now, is the time actually different? No, right?
Nellie Harden:You're still gonna wake up on January 1, as you did December
Nellie Harden:31, and so on. But mentally, it is a shift, it's a perspective
Nellie Harden:shift, we are going from 2021 to 2022, which is a mouthful to say
Nellie Harden:Can I just say that for a second.
Nellie Harden:So mentally, it is different. And we know through the work
Nellie Harden:that we've done here, through the work of so many that have
Nellie Harden:come before us that it really is our perspectives that tell what
Nellie Harden:our truth is. And so if your perspective, if you're mentally
Nellie Harden:changing and transitioning from one year to another, then that
Nellie Harden:is a step. It's a doorway that you're going through. And that
Nellie Harden:means that we're going to have some different perspectives,
Nellie Harden:different goals than we are and goal. Goal making and creating
Nellie Harden:and achieving is something that many, many, many people do at a
Nellie Harden:year change, including myself, I also do it at my own year
Nellie Harden:changes, right my birthday decade changes when I go from my
Nellie Harden:30s to my 40s, my 40s to my 50s and etc, hopefully my 80s to my
Nellie Harden:90s One day, whatever that looks like. But I have different goals
Nellie Harden:when these transitions happen. And I want to walk you through
Nellie Harden:some really good practices for doing goals. So it's not just
Nellie Harden:haphazard and then they fall apart on January 10. Right? I
Nellie Harden:want to help you make some really concrete goals not only
Nellie Harden:for yourself, but also what it looks like to walk forward with
Nellie Harden:some family goals. And if you listened to the podcast with
Nellie Harden:Elaine Mason, I believe it was episode 11. We walked through a
Nellie Harden:little bit of that in what she does with her family to it was
Nellie Harden:really powerful. So I encourage encourage you to go back and
Nellie Harden:listen to that. But let's talk a little bit about this new year
Nellie Harden:goal making and the 6570. Right that's how many days are in 18
Nellie Harden:years. This is our runway, that our training zone for us parents
Nellie Harden:to teach our kids it's their runway to adulthood. And we are
Nellie Harden:the architects of that time. So if we are going to build smart,
Nellie Harden:right we're going to build smart we're going to plan smart we're
Nellie Harden:going to design smart in order to give them all of these
Nellie Harden:experience and help them develop these self led discipline and
Nellie Harden:leadership skills before they leave home. So they're not
Nellie Harden:leaving home still in the parent lead discipline realm. Right,
Nellie Harden:then there's some things we could do here. Now we've heard
Nellie Harden:about smart goals before. Let me just remind you real quick, so
Nellie Harden:they are specific. They're measurable. That's always a
Nellie Harden:sticking point for many goals. They're attainable, though. But
Nellie Harden:also, not just attainable, like, Yep, I could do that. It's like
Nellie Harden:looking at a pool and saying, Okay, I'm going to give myself a
Nellie Harden:goal of swimming one lap right. Now. For some that is the be hag
Nellie Harden:the big, hairy, audacious goal. But for many people swimming one
Nellie Harden:lap, it's like, oh, I can for sure do that. That's an easy box
Nellie Harden:to check. So we want it to be attainable, but not an easy box
Nellie Harden:to check, right? We need to stretch ourselves outside of the
Nellie Harden:comfort zone a little bit, because that's where growth
Nellie Harden:happens. So attainable is a relevant, right? Is it actually
Nellie Harden:moving you toward your goals? Is it moving in synchronous in
Nellie Harden:synchronicity with your values, we'll talk about that in a
Nellie Harden:second. And time bound, of course, it's going to be time
Nellie Harden:bound, we're talking about a year here, so but you might be
Nellie Harden:breaking it down even further. I personally love to I look at the
Nellie Harden:year, but then I break it into quarters. Because if I say I'm
Nellie Harden:going to give myself a whole year to do you know, whatever an
Nellie Harden:activity, whatever this activity is, I am going to wait until
Nellie Harden:September, October and be like, Oh, my goodness, yeah, I need to
Nellie Harden:do that. Or most likely forget about it by September or
Nellie Harden:October, and then it never gets done. So I were I look at the
Nellie Harden:whole year, break it down into quarters, and then I only have
Nellie Harden:three goals per quarter. And then I break those down into the
Nellie Harden:months that I'm doing and always make sure I'm focused toward
Nellie Harden:that those three goals in whatever I'm doing every day,
Nellie Harden:right, that's relevant. It's time bound. It's attainable, but
Nellie Harden:it stretches me. It's measurable. They're very
Nellie Harden:specific. Okay, so I love the idea of really looking at this
Nellie Harden:space. So if you look back on all the years that you've been
Nellie Harden:alive, I was born in 1978, which seems forever ago and yesterday
Nellie Harden:at the same time. And so when I look back at 1987, right, I'm
Nellie Harden:like, What did I leave in? 1987? What did I do with 1987? Right?
Nellie Harden:I was in? I guess I was in elementary at that time.
Nellie Harden:Going into adulthood, I think about the year I don't know,
Nellie Harden:2002? What did I do in 2002? What did I leave there, right?
Nellie Harden:And so when you're thinking about this year coming up, what
Nellie Harden:do you want to leave in the space of 2022, it will come and
Nellie Harden:it will go. And you get to choose what to put in its place
Nellie Harden:in your life and your family's life. So that when you're
Nellie Harden:looking back, you could say this is what was in the place of
Nellie Harden:2022. Right? It's not just this ambiguous time that's rolling by
Nellie Harden:there's purpose and intention, especially when we're in our
Nellie Harden:6570 that we get to put there and and intentionally build
Nellie Harden:toward that year, what are we going to leave in the space of
Nellie Harden:2022? Okay, so there's really three things I want to go over
Nellie Harden:here. And it's, we want to start with the values. Okay, I told
Nellie Harden:you, I'd talk about values a little bit. So you're going to
Nellie Harden:have personal values and family values. And the family values
Nellie Harden:are really something that you want to talk about with your
Nellie Harden:family, your personal values you could talk about with yourself,
Nellie Harden:and you can have some, you know, good journal talks with yourself
Nellie Harden:in there or what have you. But there is beautiful, you know,
Nellie Harden:values out there, there's concrete values, there's, you
Nellie Harden:know, harsh values, there's very, very truthful values,
Nellie Harden:there's all these values out there. And you can literally
Nellie Harden:just, you know, Google a values list. And really look through
Nellie Harden:those. I know Brene Brown has a great one,
Nellie Harden:just off the top of my head, but you can look through those and
Nellie Harden:say which ones really define me and just circle all the ones
Nellie Harden:that do and then take that list. I don't know, maybe you have
Nellie Harden:eight to 10 of them, let's say and you want to say okay, out of
Nellie Harden:these eight to 10 which are the most important to me, right? And
Nellie Harden:which one of these kind of fit into another one for me? So I'll
Nellie Harden:give you an example. My personal values my personal life values
Nellie Harden:are wisdom, love and integrity. Okay, so family, for example,
Nellie Harden:family is a value and it's very, very, very important to me, but
Nellie Harden:Val family for me, fits underneath wisdom, love and
Nellie Harden:integrity, okay, I need to have integrity with my family, I need
Nellie Harden:to be able to love and share love with my family. And I need
Nellie Harden:to have wisdom to lead my family. So that's what I mean
Nellie Harden:about, you know, find out what they are and what kind of fits
Nellie Harden:into one another. Because I really want you to focus in on
Nellie Harden:two, maximum three values that you know, and you can just
Nellie Harden:rattle off like that, right? These are my life values for
Nellie Harden:your family, they might be things like, you know, for ours,
Nellie Harden:our connection, courage and self led leadership. So connection,
Nellie Harden:courage and self led leadership is our family values, and
Nellie Harden:everything else falls under that or isn't as important as those
Nellie Harden:things. But those things are our ultimate most important. And you
Nellie Harden:would say, well, where's love in there? Well, love for us is
Nellie Harden:under courage, right? Having the courage to love somebody that
Nellie Harden:takes vulnerability that takes being able to use your patience,
Nellie Harden:right? Connection is certainly, or love is certainly a part of
Nellie Harden:connection, and then that leadership, right leading with
Nellie Harden:love. So that's where that comes in. So just to give you some
Nellie Harden:examples there, but my point is, your goals have to start with a
Nellie Harden:foundation of where your values are coming from. Okay? Now, the
Nellie Harden:second thing that you're going to do after you figured out your
Nellie Harden:personal and your family values, the second thing you're going to
Nellie Harden:do is write out your goals, right, have a great family
Nellie Harden:planning session. I know some families that go away for the,
Nellie Harden:you know, for a weekend and have this and, you know, figure this
Nellie Harden:out sitting mountainside and some beautiful villa or what
Nellie Harden:have you, or you could do in your living room, whatever. But
Nellie Harden:talk about the year that has gone by, right. Hopefully you
Nellie Harden:had some goals for this year. And if you didn't, you're
Nellie Harden:starting a new tradition. And that's cool. My family does this
Nellie Harden:every single year. And it is so fun. We've been doing this for
Nellie Harden:years now. And I love looking back, I have the you know, we
Nellie Harden:give little sheets of paper and things like that. And I love
Nellie Harden:looking back on. What were my daughter's goals for the next
Nellie Harden:year when she was six. Right? It was like, I really want to get a
Nellie Harden:cartwheel, right. You know, things like that. It's so fun to
Nellie Harden:look back on. But talk about the year past, you know, what did
Nellie Harden:you love about it? What goals did you accomplish if you did
Nellie Harden:have goals? But definitely what did you love about it? What
Nellie Harden:didn't you like so much about it, and how you will be able to
Nellie Harden:pivot in 2022 in order to make those things better. Okay, so
Nellie Harden:that's what we want to start off with with this number two, and
Nellie Harden:then really start dissecting what your goals are going to be
Nellie Harden:for 2022. And you're going to have personal and you're going
Nellie Harden:to have family and if it applies, you're going to have
Nellie Harden:business as well. So you want your personal goals, your
Nellie Harden:physical. Yeah, I'm sorry, your personal your family and your
Nellie Harden:business. Now for personal and family. I really love to break
Nellie Harden:it down into physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. So
Nellie Harden:physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And you can have that
Nellie Harden:I want to give you some examples in here because I want this to
Nellie Harden:be very concrete in your head and not just a Yeah, sure that
Nellie Harden:sounds fun. So personal for me. Just to give you some examples
Nellie Harden:that I thought of physical would be I have a peloton. So getting
Nellie Harden:on my peloton every single day doing some sort of movement
Nellie Harden:every single day. I know that my mind my body, my schedule, my
Nellie Harden:attitude, everything works better if my mind if my body has
Nellie Harden:moved that day. And so for physical, doing something on the
Nellie Harden:peloton every single day, for mental, I want to keep a
Nellie Harden:schedule that isn't balanced with my values. And remember,
Nellie Harden:we're always keeping in tune with those values. If we follow
Nellie Harden:the SMART goals up there, we want it to be relevant that's
Nellie Harden:relevant to your values too. And so for me that is keeping a
Nellie Harden:balanced schedule. So I am making sure that I am being wise
Nellie Harden:I am making sure that I am being loving and really honoring the
Nellie Harden:love of others. And I am making sure I'm staying in my integrity
Nellie Harden:with my work my school, my personal life, my family life,
Nellie Harden:my serving life, all of it. Okay. And emotionally, that
Nellie Harden:looks like journaling. It looks like going on dates with my
Nellie Harden:husband. It looks like having one on one kid time every single
Nellie Harden:week. It looks like making sure we're carving out that family
Nellie Harden:time every single day. Right? These things are measurable
Nellie Harden:things that you can check the box on, and it's a yes or no
Nellie Harden:black or white. You want that to be measurable. Okay. So the
Nellie Harden:outcome of one One time with my kids is not check the box
Nellie Harden:measurable, but the action is check the box measurable. Okay?
Nellie Harden:Does that make sense? Okay, and then spiritual for me, I have
Nellie Harden:quiet time, every single morning, my morning routine is
Nellie Harden:rock solid for me, if I don't have it, then I need to, like
Nellie Harden:keep rebalancing myself every day and it gets a little hairy
Nellie Harden:sometimes. So having that morning routine in that morning,
Nellie Harden:quiet time doing some meditation. For me that looks
Nellie Harden:like getting into the Bible and doing some study, whatever that
Nellie Harden:looks like for you for your spiritual walk. But that's what
Nellie Harden:I mean by getting specific and measurable and attainable,
Nellie Harden:relevant and time bound in your goals. And then you could do the
Nellie Harden:same thing for your family. And you go through physical, mental,
Nellie Harden:emotional, spiritual, for your family. Now for your business,
Nellie Harden:if you do have a business or a side, side hustle that you're
Nellie Harden:doing, then you may or may not, it depends on what is applicable
Nellie Harden:to you, you might not have physical or spiritual in there,
Nellie Harden:but you're gonna have a mental and emotional for sure. And
Nellie Harden:because we all know, especially the journey of being an
Nellie Harden:entrepreneur is very, very emotional, right? I know you I
Nellie Harden:see and feel so many heads nodding right now. So anyway,
Nellie Harden:and breaking that down into q1, two, three and four is very
Nellie Harden:important. So that's what you want to do. And your second
Nellie Harden:thing. So remember, number one is you want to find your values.
Nellie Harden:So, so so important to ground you and guide you and what the
Nellie Harden:the, the goals will be. And then number two, you're going to
Nellie Harden:reflect on the last year, and you're going to develop a plan
Nellie Harden:the next year coming up. Okay, so reflecting on the last one,
Nellie Harden:and designing and planning the one that is coming up looking at
Nellie Harden:physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, for yourself and for
Nellie Harden:your family. And if you have a business doing that, always
Nellie Harden:keeping in mind to keep these goals smart, right? But you
Nellie Harden:definitely want it to be measurable, because what happens
Nellie Harden:if it's not measurable? What happens if your goal is
Nellie Harden:I just want to have a better relationship with my, with my
Nellie Harden:spouse, okay, well, then, you're just going to go along like and
Nellie Harden:ask yourself, well, am I having a better relationship? Am I not?
Nellie Harden:I don't know, maybe. And then it's just so ambiguous, it's
Nellie Harden:such a cloud, there's no action to be put toward it, that it
Nellie Harden:falls by the wayside, and it never gets done. And so that's
Nellie Harden:why it's so so important to actually have action steps have
Nellie Harden:it be measurable. Check the box, check the box, double, there we
Nellie Harden:go. Check the box double. So that you know if you've worked
Nellie Harden:toward your goal or not. Okay. All right. And number three, you
Nellie Harden:guys is find the help to get there. Find a coach, find a
Nellie Harden:mentor, or hopefully both. I prefer a coach mentors, and why
Nellie Harden:you're like, Okay, what's the difference there? Well, a coach
Nellie Harden:is going to be someone that teaches you the skill sets the
Nellie Harden:the mindsets, and gives you the information, right. And then a
Nellie Harden:mentor is going to take that information and help you
Nellie Harden:implement it into your unique and specific life. And so that
Nellie Harden:that's why I do both in my you know, I I actually was doing
Nellie Harden:some website work last night, and I'm like I am a my full
Nellie Harden:title is life and leadership coach and mentor. But that is
Nellie Harden:such a mouthful and so crazy. So I just do family life and
Nellie Harden:leadership coach. Because I mean, I don't think that I don't
Nellie Harden:think my desk is big enough to have that whole name. Not that I
Nellie Harden:have a title on my desk. But it's just such a mouthful. So I
Nellie Harden:say family life and leadership coach, but it really is coaching
Nellie Harden:and mentoring because I want to help you get the information.
Nellie Harden:And I also want to help you implemented into your unique
Nellie Harden:family, your unique self and so you can develop your road to
Nellie Harden:your unique destination that you want your family to go in. But,
Nellie Harden:um so we have many options coming up that I just want to go
Nellie Harden:over we have the Family Leadership Academy, which is our
Nellie Harden:deep dive programs so amazing, highly, highly, highly recommend
Nellie Harden:for every family to go through at least once in their childhood
Nellie Harden:parenthood 6570 experience and that is the next group is
Nellie Harden:starting in January. And then if you can't do like a bigger time
Nellie Harden:commitment, then there's a VIP day you guys. I'm just going to
Nellie Harden:sit down with you guys and I'm going to Say, Okay, this is what
Nellie Harden:this is what we want to go through today, we are going to
Nellie Harden:go through goal planning, we're going to go through how to get
Nellie Harden:to the goals that you're doing. We're going to talk about
Nellie Harden:communication, I'm going to give you an action plan, I'm going to
Nellie Harden:give you a implementation plan, and we're going to go from
Nellie Harden:there. So that is such a valuable, valuable day. So and
Nellie Harden:then there's the Ignite your inner leader masterclass that is
Nellie Harden:available to you through the website that is so powerful the
Nellie Harden:discipline hacker collection, the podcast that you're
Nellie Harden:obviously listening to, but make sure a great actionable item for
Nellie Harden:you personally, or your family would be to listen to this
Nellie Harden:podcast every single week in 2022, I promise I'm going to be
Nellie Harden:there. And you can be there to listen, this is a great action
Nellie Harden:step that can that's measurable and can help you develop your
Nellie Harden:family through 2022. And then the family architects club, our
Nellie Harden:online community, so amazing, we get on there. And we have
Nellie Harden:massive discussions. There's such big changes that are
Nellie Harden:happening in the world. And it's only going to change faster and
Nellie Harden:bigger. As we go along. Especially when we have a
Nellie Harden:literal universe, a new universe, the metaverse that is
Nellie Harden:coming very fast, it's already being marketed every single day.
Nellie Harden:This is supposedly something that won't be in our hands, in
Nellie Harden:the capacity that they're talking about until five to
Nellie Harden:seven years. But I literally get advertisements for it every
Nellie Harden:single day today, which means your kids are going to be seeing
Nellie Harden:those two. And so we have so much to discuss and the
Nellie Harden:community is there for you. So you guys, there it is, it's as
Nellie Harden:easy as 123. Number one, find your values number two, reflect
Nellie Harden:and design. And number three, find the coaches and mentors to
Nellie Harden:get you there. And I would love to help you out with that the
Nellie Harden:6570 team is always here and ready to help and grow you and
Nellie Harden:your family toward that self led leadership. So they are equipped
Nellie Harden:with their greatness and for their greatness before they ever
Nellie Harden:leave home. You guys 2022 is going to be a great year. How do
Nellie Harden:I know that? How do I know a bunch of catastrophes aren't
Nellie Harden:going to happen?
Nellie Harden:I don't. But I do know that my decision is that 2022 is going
Nellie Harden:to be a great year for myself and for my family. And that is
Nellie Harden:what we are going to make of it and we are going to leave some
Nellie Harden:amazing things in the space of 2022. By the time we are done
Nellie Harden:with it. Okay, you guys, whatever happens, remember, it
Nellie Harden:is up to you, you are the architect you are planning and
Nellie Harden:designing your family you are planning and designing the
Nellie Harden:beginning of your child's life. And that is their foundation
Nellie Harden:that they will launch from lean on and stand on for the rest of
Nellie Harden:their lives. Happy building. You guys enjoy your holidays. I'm
Nellie Harden:sure you have been already whatever holidays you celebrate.
Nellie Harden:And I just wish you a wonderful week and I will talk to you next
Nellie Harden:week. All right, bye, guys. Thank you so much for listening
Nellie Harden:today. And I hope you were able to take something from our
Nellie Harden:discussion that you can use to build the foundation of self led
Nellie Harden:leadership in your own family. If you are a parent with
Nellie Harden:children 17 or younger, and especially those around nine and
Nellie Harden:up, I would love to extend an invitation to you to the best
Nellie Harden:club in town. The family architects Club is a private
Nellie Harden:club where intentional parents go that want to love support,
Nellie Harden:connect or reconnect and really truly help guide their kids and
Nellie Harden:teach them how to self lead in discipline and leadership. This
Nellie Harden:is an online community and the you are welcome to it. Parenting
Nellie Harden:is a project and you are the architect of this one. You plan
Nellie Harden:you design and oversee the construction of the beginning of
Nellie Harden:someone else's life. And that's what goes into these first 6570
Nellie Harden:days. And it will be the foundation for the rest of their
Nellie Harden:lives. So come join the club. You can find your invitation on
Nellie Harden:the front page of my website Nelly hardened.com. That is N E
Nellie Harden:ll ie H AR D n.com. Thank you again for being a part of this
Nellie Harden:conversation today. And if something really resonated with
Nellie Harden:you, or if you have a question, please don't hesitate to connect
Nellie Harden:with me. You can find me on Instagram at Nellie Hardin. And
Nellie Harden:lastly, if you love the information, please please leave
Nellie Harden:a five star review and a comment so more and more families can be
Nellie Harden:impacted by harnessing the strength of these ideas and
Nellie Harden:tools in their own families. So thank you so much. Happy
Nellie Harden:building you guys and I'll see you next week.
