Overcoming the Mindset of 'Just Surviving' with Tammy Ward

Hi, and welcome to the That's Myrony podcast. My name's Alysha Myronic, and I am your host and creator of this fun new concept. But first, what exactly is Myrony? Well, Myrony or my irony are those crazy coincidences that happen in life that you just can't explain. It's also another word for sign or synchronicity. We've all experienced these throughout our lives. But what if you started paying closer attention to your myronies? What if you started connecting the dots, or, as I like to say, follow the spiritual breadcrumbs that could have an impact so big that it changes your life forever? Not to mention the lives of others. Now, That's myrony!

Everyone, welcome back to you. That's Myrony podcast. I love when I don't know much about my guests. And I actually just had a brief chat with Tammy Ward earlier this week. And after hearing just a little bit, I was like, Oh, my goodness, would you be on my podcast, so I'm hearing her story for the first time like you. But first, a little bit about Tammy. Tammy Ward has been a police officer for 25 years achieving the rank of sergeant she has worked in a variety of roles specializing in domestic violence and community relations. She has been involved in Dance and Fitness since the age of three giving up teaching dance to become a police officer. Currently, Tammy owns T L. W yoga studio. Returning to her true passion for movement and expression. She has seen and experienced the good and bad sides of policing and being a woman in a traditionally male dominated role. Following a tragic event at work and the deaths of fellow officers she took time to heal and created a safe space. This space became a yoga studio that opened in January 2016. With Tammy offering one class a week and has grown to eight classes a week and leading yoga and wellness retreats around the world. In February 2020. Tammy retired from policing and is focusing on the next chapter. This still includes helping others. Now she is enjoying the life of being a yogi and motivational speaker sharing yoga wellness and her story. She says it has been a long and sometimes difficult path to where she is, and she is not done yet. So let's go meet Tammy and hear how she went from being a dancer to a police officer to now a yogi. I'm so excited to hear her moronic story. So let's go me Tammy ward. Hi, Tammy, thank you so much for joining me on that's my rainy today. I am so excited because I honestly know so little about you. And I just want to say it was really funny. I kept seeing you because we have a lot of mutual friends. And I was like, I need to connect with her. I need to connect with her. And then we finally connected and I was like oh my goodness, you need to be on the podcast. So welcome.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Well, I always like to let the listeners know first off, where are where do you live? And Fredericton New Brunswick up in Canada. Okay, and that for for us in the US that are not quite sure where that might be? What part of Canada would where would that where would that be near?

I'm about an hour from the state of Maine. Okay, okay. Yeah, Atlantic Ocean. Yes.

It must be so beautiful. Yeah. Well, that's wonderful. Well, um, I, I was I read your bio already. And I know we're gonna dive in much deeper. Like how did you become a police officer, you know, to now be this yogi and motivational speaker. But I know when we first were talking, you said you actually started off first in dance. So what was your What was your background dance? I think you told me quickly. You were a ballet dancer. And then I was like, oh, no, no, don't tell me anymore.

Yeah, I dance from the age of three until I was 26. I was in a theatre company. I was in a dance company while I was in high school theatre company in university and I actually paid my way through university performing, teaching primarily I taught classical ballet and jazz my way through university and then I had finished university I moved to Australia for just over a year I came back home. I was started teaching again. I was working in counseling, which was what my degree in psychology was and going back to university to start my master's program and And then the at the time, my boyfriend and his friends were all talking about, you know, writing the exams to get into policing and how hard it was and how nobody ever, you know, passes the first time, etc. And so I said, Oh, I should write it. And they just looked at me and they're like, You're too tiny. You'd never get in. And the one thing about me is I'm really, really stubborn. And if you tell me I can't, I'll show you. I can. So I became a police officer. Yeah, it was never it was never on my bucket list. I, you know, a lot of people, a lot of the police officers I worked with had always wanted to be one since they were a kid. Not me. Senate happened. Yeah. Became

you became a police officer, because someone told you that you couldn't. So you did. And then you were a police officer for how many years?

Almost 24? Oh, yeah. Who would have thought, and even when I was going through the process, like my boyfriend at the time, obviously, he didn't pass. And as we went through the process, out of the six of us, I was the only one that passed everything and went to training. And even when I was going, I was thinking, I don't know if I want to do this, but Oh, what the hell, it's not gonna look bad on my resume was kind of what I was thinking. And then as I was going through training, I really fell in love with law. And at one point during training, I was thinking, Maybe I should go back to law school because you know, I really enjoying it. And I had a 98 point while I finished with a 98.2 average. That, yeah, and law, and then I did some on the job. And it was just like, I love this. I love the adrenaline. I love that no, two days are the same. I love I will do well with people. I love people. So I found even though I wasn't big, that wasn't an issue. It was the my ability to speak to people served me extremely well, my entire career. And unlike a lot of police officers, I can literally count on one hand, the number of physical altercations I've actually gotten into, because, you know, anybody can fight. Right? It takes it takes a skill to talk to people and de escalate. And when you come in with kindness, which you know, isn't a word that people associate with policing. But when you come in with kindness, and you treat people with respect, never, like I never looked at people like less than me, no matter what their station in life was. And it served me well, because there was more than one time that I ended up in bad situations. And other people that were around like, one time I ended up trying to, we had a warrant of arrest for somebody who was associated to the Hells Angels. And that was going sideways really, really fast. And one of the drug dealers that happened to be in the crowd knew me, because I had dealt with him over something minor, like actually kind of silly, it was just my first year I pulled him over for a broken tail or a burnt out tail light. And I gave him a warning and told him to get it fixed and come and show me before the end of my shift. And he looked at me, he goes, You Do you know who I am, right? And I said, Yes, I do. And he goes, and you're not towing my vehicle and give me a fine. And I said, No, that was never my intention. When I stopped you before I knew who it was. I said, You treated me with respect. So there's no reason for me not to do the same. And after that, anytime I'd run into him, I'd see him at the gym. He'd always say hi to me, and I'd say hi. And we both knew who each other was and what each of us did, but there was just that understanding. So this night, when everything was going sideways, he actually spoke up and said nobody touches her. And nobody touched me. Yeah, that's there was, yeah, and it's, you know, one way or another this guy was gonna get arrested. It could have been bad for, you know, a few of us, but, yeah, it just it ended up going okay. And, you know, it's just a few times different things have come back to help me. And it was just from, you know, falling, being true to myself, I guess, and following what I would do for anybody else and not being that person that Oh, you're less than me, or you're garbage. So I'm gonna treat you like garbage. Yeah, and just treating people with dignity and respect. And no matter who they were, it always came back to me and even we had an old drunk. We used to pick up all the time and he always used to want to fight with the guys and one night I was in the cell area and he was cursing up a storm and he saw me and he turns around, he goes, I'm sorry little girl. And after that, he always called me the little girl. So if I was On sift and had to go he we get a call for him they'd send me I go on, I'd open the door and I say, Come on, we gotta go. We've got to sleep this one off. Okay, little girl in the back. And it was funny because every time I picked him up, he'd sing Johnny Cash songs to me all the way back to the station. So yeah, it's just funny.

I just curious because you keep saying how small you are. How tall are you if you don't mind? Because I mean, a ballet dancers are like really petite and tiny. So just curious. Oh,

I am almost five foot three. And when I went through training, I finished at 117 pounds, because I had put on a little bit of muscle. So yeah,

yeah. Yeah, a little tiny thing. So Wow. But but it just shows that whole, like being able to come from a place of compassion versus a place of judgment, you know, anger or any of those other things. There's only two sides of the coin love and fear. It all stems from fear of some sort, whatever happened that had them be in those positions? And what if we can actually show people how to be that way? And how much of a shift? I mean, the fact that you got a Hells Angel to be like, No, you don't touch her because she was kind to me. I mean, that's huge, you know, because there's so about the respect and like, loyalty. And you know, I happen to I have to say, I don't personally know anybody. I'm like one degree separated from somebody who knows them very well. And, but that's what you hear, you know, and it's like that. I mean, that's an incredible story, Tammy like, wow, I had no idea that this was what was going to come out as well as the store the ironic stories. Yeah,

there's plenty. There's plenty. Yeah.

Well, so. Okay, so you were you. I mean, you you were a police officer for so long, I saw that you moved up to Sergeant which is incredible. Um, So what made you decide to move out of policing?

That's not a nice story. I was actually involved in an incident in Monkton. And we had five officers shot three, fatally. And yeah, and I took over the team, the boys were killed on and worked with them. Yeah. And 12 days after the shootings, I attended the suicide of a friend to was a police officer I had worked with who suffered from PTSD. And then four months later, I had another friend commit suicide and, yeah, just a lot of things. Yeah. And then I just, it became really heavy on my heart. And then being a female and a little boys world isn't always the easiest either. So I dealt with part of my career, I had dealt with some really bad harassment in the workplace and different things like that. All of it does that add up to it's time to let go, and I had gotten hurt and with my wrist during an assault, and I wasn't carrying my gun, my last three years on the job because of my grip strength was almost nothing in my dominant. Yeah, so I was just working in the office and still, you know, working as a police officer, but I had just lost my, my desire. Yeah, there's, there's other ways to help people without wearing a uniform. So once I came to terms with that, it was time to like, Oh,

absolutely, absolutely. So then. So then it said, 2016 was when you started this yoga studio. So what was so did you always have a passion for yoga? Was that something that you were one of your loves?

Well, as I was going through university and teaching classical ballet and jazz, I also started teaching fitness. So fitness has always been something that I've been involved with and taught. I taught my entire career somehow around my scheduling. And prior to the shootings and Monckton, I was just teaching yoga. I had I had moved into headquarters, and I had a Monday to Friday job most of the time. So I taught on the weekends, and then I get to a point after the shootings and then working too much and dealing with too much and never admitting I needed help hit a wall. So mental health is something I speak about often and that like to say it's okay not to be okay. And mental wellness is so important. Coming from a career where it's not okay to say you're not okay, right, and And so once I hit the wall and I was off, I was off work for five months and 2015 Because those shootings took place in June of 2014. And once I was off for those five months, a part of my healing was, my home has a complete walkout basement, I met out of the city in the country, on two and a half acres. So I converted my downstairs into a studio space. And I just started teaching in January of 2016. Word of mouth, because I had, you know, clients that used to come to all my classes when I taught in town. And before I retired, I was up to eight classes a week teaching, I started to offer a class for women who had experienced trauma. So it's a trauma specific class for women that I really, really liked. Unfortunately, during COVID, I didn't teach so much that class was one of the classes that I dropped, because you couldn't really do it over zoom so much. But I was able to just this year, I offered another series of trauma yoga for women, and that was really, really felt good. Wow,

that's a me. And so um, so now you're I know, you're also a motivational speaker. So it sounds like you got a lot to motivate people on.

Yeah, I, I like talking like I like sharing what I've been through. I've spoken at a few of our mental health, the Canadian Mental Mental Health Association, I've done some stuff with them. I've spoken at women empowerment sessions, and summits about, you know, standing up for yourself. And it's not an easy road. And just when you think all you had to do was say that's not a not okay to talk to me that way. And then you learn sometimes how bad harassment can be and life case in particular, and just what I went through and the things I survived, not just from work, but outside of the workplace. And, yeah, I just share that and say that, you know, basically, no matter where you are in life, you have a choice to make, like I a few of the things that have happened to me, I could have been the person who sat back and I'm a victim and have the victim mentality and stayed in my victim mode. And the world owes me a favor. Or I made a choice a long time ago after a series of events. And I just got to a point where I don't want to be a victim. So I just decided that I pack that up and leave it at the curb, and it can go out with the garbage. And I'd focus on what else I could do. So I use what I went through and how I did it to help other people overcome. And yeah, so then I got to a point where I wasn't a victim, I was the survivor. But then I didn't like that word anymore. But three years ago, I was speaking at a women's event and that and I was sharing and I said, You know what, I don't even like that word anymore. Because survivor implies I was a victim, and I'm not a victim. So I said, I'm just gonna tell people that I am thriving, and any other, you know, titles kind of label us and I didn't want to label anymore. So I chose I mean, some people talk about being a survivor of domestic violence, being a survivor of things and, and that's okay. But for me, I decided that I didn't want to be a survivor, because that meant I had to have been a victim.

So a lot of things with this podcast is it's it's meant to delve into the spiritual side, too. You know, we're not just here. Like, maybe there's bigger things looking at it. So do you connect to the spiritual side? Is that something very much? See, that's what brought us together, because that's one of I heard you were mentioned like psychology. Have you ever read any of Dr. Brian Weiss's books?

No, I can't say I have. Okay, so he was

actually an agnostic psychiatrist who risked his entire career back in the 80s. To write this first book called many lives many masters because he had a patient that starts so yeah, it sounds like you had a little wreck I've heard I've heard Yes, you would, you would actually love love this way of how do we move from this victimhood to empowerment, because in this on a soul level, you discover how you choose everything that happens in your life, so you are not a victim. And it's done in such an interesting way. And it's these books that actually saved my life. I have a crazy story. You know, you and I can talk about that more, but any of the listeners who want to hear it episode one of this podcast, it says discover my irony and your inner superpower because we all have it. It's whether or not we tap into it. And then I tell the story even more in Episode 57 through 59. Because Tammy, you may or may not know this, but I somehow spent 24 hours with God on May 10 2015. And I know that's a big thing to say. But it was this beautiful, omnipresent energy, trying to break the box of something so much greater. I didn't, I didn't have a near death experience I had, it was like the self esteem prophecy. If you're familiar with the self esteem prophecy, it was almost like you start trusting your intuition, it raises your frequency, I literally was seeing things that other people weren't seeing. But I have found all these people around the world since the pandemic that has had experiences like this. And that's what this podcast is about is maybe there really is this. Our spiritual and our humaneness, when we can look at both and not use one or the other. You know, same thing with science and spirituality doesn't have to be one or the other. And like the fact of like, what you were sharing about, you know, what your role was, like you said, on your on your hand, you can count the amount of altercations over your career of 20 plus years, that just shows like, how unbelievably it was important how important it was for you to be a police officer to become a sergeant and so. So in the spiritual realm, is there certain gifts that you connect to? In that way? Oh,

definitely. For me, intuitiveness is huge. I'm reading people just being able to know. And there's definitely situations that I've been in and been through that. And one of my, one of my famous things that I always say is, by the grace of God, go I because I know there's times where I shouldn't still be here today. Ya know, there's been situations, and I still am. And there's just little things like, for me, I'm into nature, like nature is my solace. I can sit outside and I just connect with the Earth, I connect with the with mother nature and with the ground and I find that to be the most grounding thing for me is just to be outdoors be with animals, via my bare feet. It's been a joke with my mother, since I've been three. I've been told that I'll go outside, and I'll put seeds in my hands. And I go over to a bird and I just put my hand down or to our squirrel, or a chipmunk and they eat, they'll come and sit and they are like no, like, I know, my friends tease me because there'll be like, What are you doing you crazy lady or, or I pick up vibes? And oh, you know, I'm like, Oh, look at this cool thing. And they're like, where did you find that more you holding? Or stray animals or even responding to things where there's animals and you know, people are like, Oh, watch out that dog and I'll be like my bed. And it comes to me and I'm like, sit and it will sit in there like, Oh my God, how do you do that? For us? Like, yeah, so I find anything to do with nature and animals. I'm have a real connection with. I jokingly I have a black bear that comes and eats at my bird feeder where I live right now. And he was here. I say he but he was here a month ago. And he stands at my at my big picture window in the front. And he just kind of tilts and he was eating he must have been here for at least 10 minutes. And I just stood at the window like almost nose to nose except nothing but a pane of glass and watched him and he'd stop eating and he'd look at me and I put my hand like this in the glass and he put his pod near my hand and I just watched him like I just thought it was amazing. And everyone else thinks I'm like, Absolutely. Sorry about that.

That's okay, no problem, but that you literally are snow brick and wait.

I just I love animals and I and I jokingly and I say to people like I'm not afraid of wild animals. I'm more afraid of what men do or human beings do than I am of any animal. I said if you you know, animals, for example, oh, my animals are rescues. You train an animal with kindness, you feed it, you care for it. They are loyal to the day they died. Like my girl, she would defend me I know no matter what. You can do the same thing for a human being because I've helped people and you, you know you pour into them and you give and then they'll turn around and take Well, that's one

of the most powerful things and another books that Dr. Brian Weiss actually wrote six books. And in each book, there's a key piece that the other one doesn't have and in this other one called messages from the Masters he was shown a vision of earth being a one room schoolhouse, and we're all at different grades. And so it's a really beautiful, compassionate way of looking at. So I mean, if you look at the world right now, it seems like it's a bunch of toddlers with guns, you know, they just don't have the spiritual awareness of how not to be, but because they don't have the awareness, it's not something that you just find easily. But what if they're shown a path to be able to show that wareness work or compassion, you know, because it really all stems from fear. So I actually have a modality that I've created that is brought, it's like, it seems very, like you and I, we're gonna have conversations outside of here, because it really is how do we move people from this place of victimhood to empowerment, but connecting it on a soul level of understanding, I don't know how a for some reason I chose it, I chose I chose to go through the difficult times because there was a greater reason. And usually that greater reason is because you want to help others. And the only way you can help others is that if you go through it yourself. And so you're I mean your your story is so unbelievably powerful. And now I know why you would be amazing motivational speaker, because like, wow, that's just so incredible. So are you doing your yoga classes live? Now? Have you ever done anything like on on, like a video or Zoom kind of yoga? Or have you ever thought about?

So I was doing everything just in studio. And then when COVID happened last year, or two years ago, oh, my gosh, time flies. And we were locked down where I was. And I'm by myself. So that's, you know, me and the animals. And so because I had just left policing, I had a good pension and everything else. So what I did for three months, was I just kept doing yoga on my Facebook page, free for three times a week. And I offered it to anybody who wanted to join, I saved the videos on my Facebook page, so that anybody in any everybody could have access. Because there you know, it was a hard time for a lot of us. And not only that, for me, it gave me some some type of normalcy, some type of schedule, like I taught three days a week at a certain time. And it kept me in contact with my people. And it was it was kind of cool, because I could see where people were joining in from and my Facebook following. Like, grew vastly. I had people from all across Canada, I had some people from LA I had a lady in Kentucky that missed practically none of my classes, she was always there. I had a lady from Granada, who was tuning into my classes because her friend and La had sent her my link. And it was just it just started snowballing. So created a nice community. And then about three months into it, our local soup kitchen. They were struggling because there's more sets more need and a lot less donations because a lot of people that normally wouldn't use the soup kitchen and we're supporting it couldn't support it anymore and might even had to turn to it. So on a Monday night, I just decided after class I said next time I teach is going to be by donation. And I'm teaching Wednesday night and that was kind of it and I put it on my Facebook page that I was going to raise money for the soup kitchen when I taught one hour class Wednesday night. And in one hour I raised $932 Wow, I know. I was easy, Lord. Yeah. In one hour. Yeah. And you know, to be honest, a lot of my regulars and a lot of the people were just very generous you know, and they said to me, you know, if I had been paying to come to your classes, it would have cost me you know, X amount of dollars. So here's 50 You know a few of them, they right place to give so they gave and it just it created a nice little karma that kept going and then I did another one and we donate it to an animal shelter I did some other stuff and we donated it to the Amir McLean Ferguson foundation and that's for domestic violence like it just just kept picking different things and doing different things in it. Oh, that's really cool. Oh, yeah. Engagement

Well, you know, you paid it forward by not by doing it for free and then then you're like look, I'm just asking for for donations because this can help others you know, and that's when we can look at money as a tool. In one article messages I was ever given was like all money is dad's money. All debt is God's debt to you know, just understand. Sometimes you may be in a position because maybe you aren't meant to move forward, maybe you're you're meant to find someone because that's the whole concept with my irony. So Miring me are the crazy coincidences that happen in life that we can't explain. But it's a more modern day word for synchronicity. But it's actually synchronicity in motion, you see a sign, there's an action, you have a gut feeling, there's an action, in most cases, it's to connect to people, because that's what it's about. It's not about things or what's happening. It's like, how do you create this synergy to keep moving forward and, and keep keep this wheel moving forward, but get the momentum more and more and more by you're getting people all kind of on a more straight path to you know, bringing this greater awareness. So now I know why I was told, like, like, you know, like trying to connect.

And it wasn't easy, but we made it happen. No, it wasn't,

it was not easy. And I apologize for that. Because I literally was taken out by a chair at work that I was I just took a job as a server while I've been trying to build my company with my attorney. And it was the craziest thing that it like, literally, the this chair did a split was pushing into me. So you know, it's for the listeners, the craziest things can happen. But maybe it's for a greater reason. Like I knew it wasn't something too, it could have really, really taken me out in a bad way mentally, because I had fibromyalgia since I was 18 years old. I actually even had a nerve problem called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, after I was going through some really difficult times. And it was almost like my body just gave out, I was running on a treadmill, I hit my heel wrong. And it Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, it affects your strict extremities. And mine happened to be my left foot, and I felt like somebody was cutting or burning me all the time was most severe pain, I was in a walking boot for nine months. That's another whole story. But this accident, because it's actually pressing on a nerve. So I'm feeling the nerve pain, I can't bend, I can't do anything. But it was almost like I was prepared for this moment to just keep moving forward and just be like, Okay, you can push through this, there's greater of work that needs to be done. And, and I, I feel like there's there's a lot of just the people, you know, meeting where we can look at the pandemic, yes, we can look at it as blessings or burdens. And, you know, one of the biggest blessings is how we met everyone on a global level, because otherwise, we would have just stayed in this closed circle, right? We wouldn't have been doing zooms like maybe eventually it would have happened. But we had to, we had to be able to pivot, we had to figure out, you know, we need to be able to connect with people. Well, how do we do that? But that's the power. I mean, I look forward to when we can actually get together. And because I know you do retreats, and things like that, and that's amazing. But the fact of like the global reach, that we're able to make in such an impactful way, and what if everybody, we start coming together and being like, Okay, here's, here's where my expertise says, well, oh, I know this person, but it's of this incredible alignment. So there's actually someone and I'm just gonna throw it out there because that's what I do. His name is Jonathan gluey. He's working. He actually is a former police officer, he actually got a really, really an interesting situation that happened internally. But he is creating like, almost like reforming the police department with it's called Blue guardian. And he wants to show police officers how to come from this place of compassion. So I'm like, oh, Tammy, and Jonathan, I need to have you, you know, connect you to

definitely no, definitely,

if we can get people to come from a place of compassion versus a place of judgment. It would make such a shame. If we could cut people. Yeah. And they are not victims. Such a shift. You know, and it's like, many, many different ways of getting there. We just have to tell people how to get there. So yeah, so I know. Bad. No, it's

Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, it's okay. I was gonna say last year when or was it a year or almost two years ago when everything took place in the States with George Floyd. I was speaking verbally or virtually at a conference in Arkansas, and I was on a panel and my bio I had just retired from policing. I was also the only white person on our panel the other people were of color and It was interesting, the questions that I get asked, because all these things were happening down there. And for me, I said, you know, I have to preface it with the fact that I was brought up, you know, with my my parents, and I don't see the the color I don't see, you know, so I struggle with what's going on that I've seen some of it in my career, but where I am in Canada and a few of the places that I've been across Canada, I haven't really experienced a lot of it. And again, you know, I am, I am white. So again, I see things different, but I was never brought up to note like to see anybody differently. Other than I just always used to say the only difference between skin color and hair color is you can't change it, like, you know, your hair, you can be any color you want. Right? And, and so when I was being asked questions, when I was on this panel, I said, you know, like, I don't know what to say, because to me, what happened is just unbelievable. An officer, in my opinion, he should never have been wearing a uniform, especially with what came up. And I said, you know, I can't even understand, on any level, how that could happen. And you know, it's just really interesting to be put in that place and be asked so many different questions about the policing and about what happened and about the color and, and I was like, no, no, I'm just, I'm not in that world. Like, where I live and what I, the way I was brought up and everything like, you know, and I said to me, the hardest part about all of this movement with Black Lives Matter. And everything is that, you know, the lady that invited me to speak at this conference, I said, you know, if you asked me to describe her, I would tell you that she's a preacher's wife, you know, she has children, she has the biggest laugh in the world, like I would tell you all these things about bout her, but I would never tell you that she is black. And I said, I'm struggling with that. Because I never described my friends as Oh, that is my black friend. That is my Hispanic friend. That is my gay friend. Like, no, my friends are my friends. You know, this one's funny. This one has a crazy sense of humor, like, I talked about people by their qualities, not by what I visually see. So yeah, for me, it was a bit of a struggle. I'm not saying I've never saw some of that on my own job, especially, you know, with some officers. But again, being on the east coast of Canada is very different than being down in the southern states. Or at least I love to think it is.

gonna I'm gonna bet it as I lived in Baltimore for a while that, you know, it's DC areas that the crime rates are so, so high, and it's just, it's so sad, but it is true. Like, what, you know, if you have a fear of the police, from a young age, and looking at that, again, that fear and looking at judgment, but what if we are able to shift that way of looking at actually they're here truly to protect, they're not here to hurt, but then people get into the police force, or other things and you're just like, oh, okay, they want the power. They control. Okay, now, this is scary. Because now it's just, yeah, so we have to make shifts on so many different levels of awareness. And so it's, it's amazing what you what you were able to accomplish in the police force, but now being able to have that background and share your story now, and be a yogi at the same time. That's awesome.

Yeah, I'm, yeah, I'm on turtle ends of the spectrum, you know, because I'm also a vegetarian. So it's like, you know, people laughed at me at work, because, you know, anybody bought a lunch and you put it down? It was never safe. Mine was always safe, because what the heck is in that? Well, tofu or lentils or whatever, and I'm like, Yeah, okay. So my lunch was always safe.

That's so funny. But I love the fact that you were able to see both sides of the spectrum, because so many people aren't. You know, it's it's interesting, because I'm only sharing this it again, it has nothing to do with color. It was more the fact I mean, I was brought up in a predominantly white town where, you know, there was a couple, a couple families of different ethnicities, but it wasn't any big deal. It was you know, it it was it was I mean, it's like you said you just can't change it, what differences in me. And what's funny, because I actually share this in Episode Two and three of this podcast, but I was so I have a very strong gift of cleric cognizance, the gift of knowing I do things, and I have no idea why I do it. So really, it's a really fun gift that you just like, oh, but then it makes sense. So I was guided to work with this guy who was almost 80 years old. Why was I going to work with an 80 year old, I had my license as a life insurance agent. And it was to work in these predominantly black churches. Now, I was like, What the heck am I doing? And like in inner cities, like Oakland here is there's nice part of Oakland, California. And then there's like, woof, I mean, scary parts of Oakland. And I'm just like, What am I doing? Well, it wasn't about the color, it was more about being able to experience something so completely different. It actually was to get over my judgment of religion, I'll be the first one to admit, I had to be humbled by that. Because, you know, I was being shown all these different things that actually allowed me to get over my fear of speaking in public. So God had a lot of agendas for me on this one. But it was so interesting, because I got to see a culture I got to, some of my best friends are now that I never would have even economically never been put in that. And it's just like, people are people. And if we give respect to everyone, no matter what, even when they're not giving respect to us, but give them respect. Usually, they're not giving respect, because there's some much deeper fear. And you just shared that so beautifully with the story with the Hells Angel guy. You know, anyone want to think well, how the heck did you get involved in that? Because we know, you know, the deeper side of that? Well, we won't, we won't open that door right now. We don't need to open Pandora's box on that one. But I just I love Oh, my goodness, I'm so happy that I got to hear your story and that the world gets to hear your story. Because that's the fun part of podcasts. You never know how people find you. And you know, and so, on that note, how can people connect with you do your yoga classes or hear you as a motivational speaker, like, what's the best way for them to connect with you.

So the easiest way is I have everything branded the same. So TL W yoga, is my Facebook page, and my Instagram page, I also have a Gmail account T LW yoga@gmail.com, I have a website, T LW yoga.ca. And then I have a website for public speaking, it's just very simple, Tammy Ward, speaks.com. Nothing fancy, but easy. Because I want I want people to be able to connect with me and, and make it simple and approachable. And, you know, that's something that's important to me is that people find me approachable. Because one of my gifts, I guess, that we were talking about it is I can talk with anybody, regardless of what status on the economic what color what gender, what, who they love, or don't love. Like, I don't care, like I can connect with people on on any level. And that's so important to me. And even when I teach yoga, I always say to people that, you know, I'll meet you where you're at, you don't have to be anything, you don't have to wear fancy clothes, you don't have to, you know, I have three rules for my yoga studio, everyone is kind everybody eats. And you don't have to wear a certain brand to come to my studio. And I just, you know, I make a joke of it. And I say, you know, to me, it matters more who you are when you step off your mat. And you go back into the world than what you can do on your mat in terms of your flexibility, or, you know, some of the tricks or any of the things that people you know, have seen in mainstream media. And I like to tell people that yoga is for every body and literally every body. It's not just for skinny white girls, which you know, is what we see in the media. It's for everybody and, and what yoga really, really is about isn't about all the postures and the tricks and all of those things. It's about being able to connect your mind and body and to prepare yourself to sit in stillness. And that is the whole reason and yoga for me was one of my healing you know, on my personal journey, after you know, the losing the loss of my friends and the shootings and you know, my mental health and just that was for me so important was just to try to connect with myself because I literally felt like If I didn't feel anything anymore, yeah. And so

you feel that numbness because you've had so much loss or whatever, and it's like, what is it that's gonna gain that back and I love that about yoga. It's funny because I wasn't into yoga for a very long period of time. I happen to like vinyasa. I like vinyasa because it's a faster flow. And that mind body connection and then you know, at the end doing shavasana and whatnot, it's like, okay, now I can get into but yeah, I will have to get into the more the deeper, like hatha yoga. And that, that I just, I will admit, I'm a little like, okay, come on, let's move this.

That's okay. Like everyone has a different need. I always tell people, though, that sometimes we're drawn to the things that we're comfortable with, but not the things that we need. So some people are like, oh, I need like a hot workout athletic, rubber Barbra yoga class. And I'm like, No, that's exactly what you when you're type a no overachiever personality don't need because you're always go go go and running and you're working out in the gym, you need the exact opposite. Like, you need to go to a restorative class and like, reconnect with some ground, or go to a yin class and just tame it all down and get a stretch. So yeah, no, I,

I talk about Yeah, it's having it's having that balance. And it's very, it's very important to have that balance. So Well, I hope to be able to do wanna your yoga classes in the future. That sounds amazing. And I do believe we were definitely brought together so with this Winky behind me. That's how I represent God and love with an awesome sense of humor. And it's just been such an honor and pleasure, Tammy, thank you so much. And, and I encourage all the listeners, let's go jump on a yoga class. And because boy, you got you got a lot to teach us, Tammy. So again, this has just been so wonderful. So thank you for just being like on the fly. Like what we talked on Tuesday yesterday? Oh, my God, it was freaking yesterday. Yes. So it was June 28. It's June 29. Today, and your episode is not coming out this Saturday. It's coming out the following Saturday. So we know that's the action that we're talking about. And I just encourage the listeners, like, how many times could you have that conversation with somebody? Just just engage, just actually take a risk and see what what is it and usually you're gonna get some kind of intuitive pull, you're gonna get this gut feeling like, oh, I should really talk to this person will do it.

Exactly. And look at it not like, oh, what's in it for me, but what you know, like I love I love to share, I love to connect, I love to learn. So sometimes, when I connect with people, it has nothing to do with me, there's absolutely nothing in it for me, but I have the opportunity to learn, or just to connect with a beautiful human being and be, you know, in their presence, or, you know, like some of my best friends I've, in the last two years, I've never physically been in the same room with.

Yeah, I know, I feel the same way. I have so many around the world now. And it's just such a beautiful thing. Well, I now that I consider you a friend, I know there's much more we're meant to do together to help bring this awareness and help however we can. Because we both have been in these very, very deep depths of despair. My I, you know, I was suicidal, I've dealt with a lot of things. And it doesn't mean that our lives are the worst. It's just that we were there. And that one of the things is it doesn't matter where you're at, if you're in that space, and you're able to pull yourself out. But the biggest thing is how do you pull other people out. And that's, that's become my greatest mission. I actually lost my nephew to suicide at 14 years old, and back in the fall of 2020. And so that became one of my missions to share this awareness of how maybe where does that even come from, but from a spiritual perspective, and that was actually shared and when a doctor Weiss's books also, but anyway, thank you again, to me. This has just been so incredible. I'm your story. Wow. Hells Angel to have compassion. That was amazing. But I know, I'm being a little flippant there, but really like, it really does come down to that if you show compassion, others will show compassion to exactly, you know, even if they don't even understand it. At least they had that you know, that awareness and then who knows what ripple effect that could create. Exactly, yeah, so Well, thanks again, Tammy. And until the listeners, I'll see you next time.