Setting Boundaries to Grow: Preventing Burnout and Communicating with Empathy With Darcel Lobo

Melinda Lee: 00:00:01

Hello, everyone, welcome to the speak in flow

Melinda Lee: 00:00:04

podcast, I'm so pleased to introduce to you today Darcel

Melinda Lee: 00:00:09

Lobo, she is the founder of doll law, a law firm in Seattle,

Melinda Lee: 00:00:15

Washington area. She's an attorney for families helping

Melinda Lee: 00:00:19

them to plan for their financial future, everything from stopping

Melinda Lee: 00:00:23

bankruptcy to foreclosure. She also is a coach for lawyers who

Melinda Lee: 00:00:29

are starting their law practice, and finding that it seems almost

Melinda Lee: 00:00:33

exhausting, overwhelming to do both law and also raising a

Melinda Lee: 00:00:36

family. And so I brought her here today, because I know she

Melinda Lee: 00:00:40

has such incredible wisdom and insight to share with us

Melinda Lee: 00:00:44

regarding how we should consent boundaries when it comes to both

Melinda Lee: 00:00:49

our work and families and how we communicate that. And so

Melinda Lee: 00:00:53

welcome, Darcel Glad you're here.

Darcel Lobo: 00:00:56

Thank you for having me. Yes. It's pleasure to

Darcel Lobo: 00:00:57

be here.

Melinda Lee: 00:00:58

Thank you so much. Well, let's just jump right in.

Melinda Lee: 00:01:01

Let's tell the audience, I'm so fascinated by your story. And I

Melinda Lee: 00:01:06

think it's inspiring. So can you share about your journey?

Darcel Lobo: 00:01:10

Yeah, I'll give a very short overview. So I've

Darcel Lobo: 00:01:13

been an attorney for 15 years. Back in 2016, I opened my own

Darcel Lobo: 00:01:17

law firm after, you know, considering it for quite a few

Darcel Lobo: 00:01:20

years, not sure how to navigate that I had two small children

Darcel Lobo: 00:01:24

just trying to figure out what was next for me and my career, I

Darcel Lobo: 00:01:28

was in a place I was just very unhappy with. So when I'm on my

Darcel Lobo: 00:01:31

own in 2016, have never looked back. So glad that I did. But

Darcel Lobo: 00:01:36

after doing so I spent quite a bit of time mentoring and

Darcel Lobo: 00:01:40

consulting other lawyers who were maybe in similar situation

Darcel Lobo: 00:01:43

to wanted to open their own law firm or improve their law firms,

Darcel Lobo: 00:01:48

but really struggling with the juggling act of their personal

Darcel Lobo: 00:01:54

lives and their professional lives and dealing with burnout.

Darcel Lobo: 00:01:57

And, you know, just a lot that comes with the running of a

Darcel Lobo: 00:02:00

business and being a lawyer. And so I really help lawyers kind of

Darcel Lobo: 00:02:04

bring that all together to have a happier life and a happier law

Darcel Lobo: 00:02:08

firm

Melinda Lee: 00:02:09

Yeah, I mean, they don't teach that in law school,

Melinda Lee: 00:02:11

right? No. Seven, and many in our audience here is you and

Melinda Lee: 00:02:17

the, their corporate. And so even if whether it's a law firm,

Melinda Lee: 00:02:21

or whether you're running your own business, and some other

Melinda Lee: 00:02:23

type of industry or area, it's like how do we balance polls,

Melinda Lee: 00:02:27

right, we spent so much time in our work, but then we also have

Melinda Lee: 00:02:30

this huge other part personal area, that also we want to be a

Melinda Lee: 00:02:35

part of, and when we present to so thank you so much for Yeah,

Melinda Lee: 00:02:39

like bringing that together for us, like Yeah, reading both of

Melinda Lee: 00:02:43

it. And so when, what have you found like, what are some of the

Melinda Lee: 00:02:48

challenges that you see? Why is it so difficult for us to

Melinda Lee: 00:02:51

separate the two or bring it together? I want to say,

Darcel Lobo: 00:02:54

well, you know, I think a lot of it is that we

Darcel Lobo: 00:02:56

have we're wearing a lot of hats, no matter whether you're a

Darcel Lobo: 00:02:58

lawyer or corporate or you know, whatever kind of professional

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:01

you are, we were somebody hats, and we're trying to do

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:03

everything all the time, and please everyone at the same time

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:07

and, and we just we can't and I think being okay with that, and

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:11

knowing that you can't be everything to everyone all the

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:15

time, there has to be some some give and take there, there have

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:19

to be boundaries, with yourself, with your clients with your

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:23

family. And I have no my children are a little bit older.

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:25

Now. They're 11 and 13, but with them with my spouse. And so

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:29

learning how to identify those boundaries, assert those

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:34

boundaries. And I think the biggest key when talking about

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:38

boundaries is respecting your own boundaries, the boundaries

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:42

are for you to where you say like, Okay, if this such and

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:46

such happens, this is going to be my response, this is what I

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:49

am or am not going to do. And respecting that for yourself is

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:53

really the biggest lesson learned and setting boundaries

Darcel Lobo: 00:03:57

and respecting them. I feel like and

Melinda Lee: 00:04:00

how did you help yourself? Or how do you help

Melinda Lee: 00:04:03

your clients identify those boundaries?

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:05

Well, I learned the hard way. And so you know. And

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:10

so I find myself here, you know, talking to my clients that I'm

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:14

coaching with on on how to identify those we really looked

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:17

at, what are their priorities, what's important for them. And

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:21

for a lot of my clients, you know, themselves. They put

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:26

themselves on the backburner so many times, and I genuinely

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:29

believe that, you know, how can we be that you know, the best

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:33

spouse, we can be the best mother, we can be the best, you

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:36

know, lawyer or whatever your profession is, if we're not

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:39

taking care of ourselves first. So I really sit with my clients

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:42

and kind of look through what you know, what's important with

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:45

them? What's their priority? And then where do we need to set

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:48

those boundaries? Where are we finding that, you know, there's

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:51

a lot of time being wasted, we're not productive, we're not

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:54

efficient. And so identifying those problem areas and coming

Darcel Lobo: 00:04:58

up with boundaries For the client that works best for them,

Darcel Lobo: 00:05:01

and that they're going to honour and respect also, I can't come

Darcel Lobo: 00:05:05

up with boundaries for them. Because it was a boundary for

Darcel Lobo: 00:05:08

me, right? It's not going to be the best boundary for someone

Darcel Lobo: 00:05:10

else. So I work with them to figure out what's best for them,

Darcel Lobo: 00:05:14

and then to really help them be accountable to themselves.

Melinda Lee: 00:05:17

Right right. I so agree with that. I'm gonna pause

Melinda Lee: 00:05:21

it right here because my battery's about to run. Oh, no.

Melinda Lee: 00:05:25

editing capabilities. This is the type of warning that I had.

Melinda Lee: 00:05:31

But my, my nose is getting clearer. Oh, wow, that's so

Melinda Lee: 00:05:36

interesting. Okay, good. Okay. Okay, we're talking about the

Melinda Lee: 00:05:45

boundaries and how they need to set up for myself. Okay, so

Melinda Lee: 00:05:49

yeah, I do have a question. You mentioned that you you found it

Melinda Lee: 00:05:53

out the hard way. What, what? What happened? What was a

Melinda Lee: 00:05:57

symptom that told you that we can all potentially avoid? I

Melinda Lee: 00:06:01

didn't want to wait till this moment. Right.

Darcel Lobo: 00:06:04

Right. I think for me, it was kind of a gradual

Darcel Lobo: 00:06:07

progression of things. But I think, you know, the burnout,

Darcel Lobo: 00:06:11

feeling like I was always kind of on edge with, you know, my

Darcel Lobo: 00:06:14

family, with clients, and always kind of, like, you know, being

Darcel Lobo: 00:06:17

snappy with people, which, you know, like, really wasn't

Darcel Lobo: 00:06:21

unjustifiable, but like, in my own head, I was just, I was

Darcel Lobo: 00:06:25

always on edge, I always had, you know, just a lot riding on

Darcel Lobo: 00:06:29

me, um, you know, I know, for me just being really unhappy, which

Darcel Lobo: 00:06:35

isn't my normal self. And so, you know, a lot of unhappiness,

Darcel Lobo: 00:06:40

a lot of burnout, a lot of frustration. And also, just, in

Darcel Lobo: 00:06:45

my personal journey, there was a couple years there where I put

Darcel Lobo: 00:06:48

on about 50 pounds, from like, 20, you know, 2019 to 2021, put

Darcel Lobo: 00:06:55

on about 50 pounds, and I really believe that I was just kind of

Darcel Lobo: 00:06:58

eating the feelings, eating the emotions, to be able to numb

Darcel Lobo: 00:07:02

them and avoid them. For some clients, and might be, you know,

Darcel Lobo: 00:07:06

a lot of shopping a lot of online distractions, whether

Darcel Lobo: 00:07:10

it's an increase alcohol consumption. So there's

Darcel Lobo: 00:07:13

different ways that we, you know, deal with those, you know,

Darcel Lobo: 00:07:17

feelings and emotions and the burnout. And so identifying what

Darcel Lobo: 00:07:22

those are for you, but the triggers are you on and, and

Darcel Lobo: 00:07:25

taking action to kind of reel it back in. And so I spent the past

Darcel Lobo: 00:07:30

two years looking at about 60 pounds of not just weight, but

Darcel Lobo: 00:07:35

like mental weight. Yeah, yeah,

Melinda Lee: 00:07:38

that makes so so much sense. Like, we're not

Melinda Lee: 00:07:41

giving ourselves what we really want or need, right? We're

Melinda Lee: 00:07:45

medicating we're finding ways to medicate.

Darcel Lobo: 00:07:48

Yes, yes. And so it's, you know, trying to numb

Darcel Lobo: 00:07:51

those feelings with other things versus just addressing the

Darcel Lobo: 00:07:55

underlying issues. So that's hard. It's hard to address the

Darcel Lobo: 00:07:59

underlying issues and take a look inwards and kind of

Darcel Lobo: 00:08:01

identify where things aren't going very well for yourself.

Darcel Lobo: 00:08:04

That's a hard conversation to have.

Melinda Lee: 00:08:06

Right. Right. And so, you know, is looking for

Melinda Lee: 00:08:08

someone like you or somebody to support you with that through

Melinda Lee: 00:08:12

that journey? Yeah,

Darcel Lobo: 00:08:14

yeah. Oh, go ahead. No, I was just gonna say, you

Darcel Lobo: 00:08:18

know, and I think having someone you know, in your corner is

Darcel Lobo: 00:08:21

actually, you know, for me in my profession, like, I bring a

Darcel Lobo: 00:08:25

firsthand experience or an empathy for a lot of my clients

Darcel Lobo: 00:08:29

as a lawyer, or a law firm owner and a mother myself, like, so to

Darcel Lobo: 00:08:33

help my clients kind of reel things back in before it gets

Darcel Lobo: 00:08:37

that far right. Before we get so far off track, or derail, to

Darcel Lobo: 00:08:41

kind of help them stay on track in the first place. It's really,

Darcel Lobo: 00:08:45

you know, what I hope to do with my practice.

Melinda Lee: 00:08:48

So how do you communicate that? I mean, you

Melinda Lee: 00:08:50

have so many you're still wearing all these different

Melinda Lee: 00:08:52

hats? Yeah. And what are your suggestions for communicating?

Melinda Lee: 00:08:58

Once you've had these boundaries identified? What are your

Melinda Lee: 00:09:00

priorities? What are some suggestions that you have to

Melinda Lee: 00:09:04

communicate that to one person a person B, they both want you at

Melinda Lee: 00:09:07

the same time? Like, what are the best ways that you

Melinda Lee: 00:09:11

communicate? Or approaches?

Darcel Lobo: 00:09:14

So it depends on for me, the underlying issue

Darcel Lobo: 00:09:17

that we're dealing with, like for example, I would say like,

Darcel Lobo: 00:09:19

you know, for time management, I'm a true believer in blocking

Darcel Lobo: 00:09:23

out your calendar, and to you know, focus on you know,

Darcel Lobo: 00:09:27

individual tasks that are taught. So, like in my law

Darcel Lobo: 00:09:30

practice, I only see clients about two days a week, you know,

Darcel Lobo: 00:09:35

you know, I'm very firm on my schedule. I don't see clients on

Darcel Lobo: 00:09:38

Fridays, I don't see clients on you know, Wednesdays law firm

Darcel Lobo: 00:09:41

clients are really Tuesdays and Thursdays and that is pretty set

Darcel Lobo: 00:09:46

in stone with my team. Um, you know, there's some things I

Darcel Lobo: 00:09:49

can't control like a court hearing, right, but to descend

Darcel Lobo: 00:09:52

that I can control things I'm very protective of my time and

Darcel Lobo: 00:09:56

when I do things, and so you know, for For me and my team,

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:00

it's you know, knowing, you know, when I'll see clients,

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:04

when am I doing legal work? When am I doing, you know, the HR

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:07

side of things, when am I running the business side of

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:09

things. And so, you know, there's different time blocks in

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:13

my calendar that I'm very protective of, but I have to be,

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:17

in order to have my practice in my personal life, to be able to

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:22

juggle those, I can't just take client calls at any time, and

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:26

they they have to be scheduled beforehand. And so it's even

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:28

just small things like that, as far as not taking unscheduled

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:31

phone calls, to help protect your time. So I think it depends

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:35

on what the issue is that we're talking about, and identifying

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:39

how to protect that. And then you do have to be able to

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:42

vocalise that to those around you that, you know, you know,

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:47

whatever that boundary is, whether it's your, your picking

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:49

your time, whether it's, you know, work or personal life,

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:54

identifying those boundaries, and then being very clear, and

Darcel Lobo: 00:10:56

then being comfortable saying them and honouring them. That

Darcel Lobo: 00:11:00

was a really long answer. I'm sorry.

Melinda Lee: 00:11:03

No, I think it was really clear i Yeah, no, it's

Melinda Lee: 00:11:07

true. The block time is so critical, because that can and

Melinda Lee: 00:11:13

you said I like the more protective because it's just,

Melinda Lee: 00:11:16

you're protecting that time. And it's not because you're

Melinda Lee: 00:11:20

protecting it is it but it all integrates, because you're

Melinda Lee: 00:11:22

protecting this time at work, so that you can also protect the

Melinda Lee: 00:11:26

time that you have with your family. Exactly,

Darcel Lobo: 00:11:28

exactly. Right on. And so yeah, when I have, you

Darcel Lobo: 00:11:32

know, a two hour time block to get legal work done, I'm not

Darcel Lobo: 00:11:35

answering phone calls, I'm not checking emails, I'm not on

Darcel Lobo: 00:11:38

social, like I'm not doing these other distractions, because I

Darcel Lobo: 00:11:41

can get a lot done. If I have a two hour block to get my legal

Darcel Lobo: 00:11:44

work done, I can get a lot done if I just focus on that task at

Darcel Lobo: 00:11:48

hand and not have all the distractions. And so it allows

Darcel Lobo: 00:11:52

me to, you know, leave the office at noon on a Friday,

Darcel Lobo: 00:11:54

right? And it allows me to go to my daughter's Girl Scouts, my

Darcel Lobo: 00:11:57

son's basketball games and to do these things, because I'm very

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:01

disciplined about how I manage my time. Yeah.

Melinda Lee: 00:12:04

Do you coach people on how to commute? What did they

Melinda Lee: 00:12:07

have a difficult time on? On breaking the news to somebody?

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:13

Yeah, I think that requires us to kind of delve

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:14

deeper on as to why it's so hard. Right? In hell for that

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:18

individual person. What what is it about that conversation that

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:22

that is so hard? Is it about a particular person that you can't

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:26

communicate, you know, well with? Is it the people pleasing

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:29

aspect, is it you know, so what is the underlying issue behind

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:32

the why is it so hard? And just because we have boundaries? And

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:35

we say, No, it doesn't mean that we're being rude. It doesn't

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:39

mean that we're, you know, being, you know, mean, or

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:42

anything and how we communicate, it's just, you know, I can't do

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:45

this right now. But here's what I can do it, I'd be happy to

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:47

help you, you know, or whatever the conversation needs to be,

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:50

but doesn't have to be a negative conversation. I think

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:53

for a lot of times, my clients, there's a negative connotation

Darcel Lobo: 00:12:56

to having boundaries and saying no, but I think you know,

Darcel Lobo: 00:13:00

protecting, you know, your time for yourself, like you can in

Darcel Lobo: 00:13:03

turn get all the things that you need to get done. I don't see

Darcel Lobo: 00:13:06

that as a negative at all.

Melinda Lee: 00:13:07

Right. Right. Especially if we know the why

Melinda Lee: 00:13:10

why. Right behind it. Right. Yeah, like justifying a lot. No,

Melinda Lee: 00:13:16

because I have to do this. Yeah. Media justifying giving so many

Melinda Lee: 00:13:21

explanations. Right.

Darcel Lobo: 00:13:23

Right. And, you know, you hear that, you know,

Darcel Lobo: 00:13:25

no, is a complete sentence. Right.

Melinda Lee: 00:13:29

Exactly. I've had to learn that I'm still learning

Melinda Lee: 00:13:32

that I'm still practising that. Right.

Darcel Lobo: 00:13:35

Right. Right. Right. So yeah, I mean, it's

Darcel Lobo: 00:13:36

definitely something that, you know, everybody, you know,

Darcel Lobo: 00:13:39

needs, you know, help with and kind of navigating and getting

Darcel Lobo: 00:13:41

comfortable. Especially if you come from, you know, a

Darcel Lobo: 00:13:44

background or a childhood where, you know, you didn't say no,

Darcel Lobo: 00:13:47

when you did say yes, and you were a people pleaser, and you

Darcel Lobo: 00:13:50

didn't want to disappoint. So to now, be told that you should say

Darcel Lobo: 00:13:53

no, it's like, you feel bad for it, you know, like, it's a

Darcel Lobo: 00:13:56

negative thing, but it doesn't, it doesn't have to be

Melinda Lee: 00:13:59

right. And it's not because otherwise I mean, we It

Melinda Lee: 00:14:03

doesn't do us, me them any good. If I keep on saying yes to

Melinda Lee: 00:14:07

everybody. Yeah.

Darcel Lobo: 00:14:10

Right. Or even worse, you say yes, then you

Darcel Lobo: 00:14:13

can't deliver it. Yeah, right. You can't deliver you you're

Darcel Lobo: 00:14:17

late with meeting your deadlines. You end up missing

Darcel Lobo: 00:14:21

your son's you know, basketball game, or whatever it is because

Darcel Lobo: 00:14:24

you've overextended yourself, like that's so much worse to

Darcel Lobo: 00:14:27

tell the person Yes, the problem is something and then you can't

Darcel Lobo: 00:14:30

deliver, like that fits worst to me. I'd rather be honest, and

Darcel Lobo: 00:14:35

saying that, you know, I can't do so you know, right now, but

Darcel Lobo: 00:14:38

how's this date? How's this time? You know, or, or whatever

Darcel Lobo: 00:14:41

the conversation needs to be, and to be honest with yourself

Darcel Lobo: 00:14:44

and look the person.

Melinda Lee: 00:14:45

Right, right. And it can't just be a no not right

Melinda Lee: 00:14:49

now. Right? Like, yeah, maybe later on another date. Right.

Melinda Lee: 00:14:53

Right. Like you said, people have people I think people

Melinda Lee: 00:14:57

respect it more when you could give Um, in another date or?

Melinda Lee: 00:15:02

Yeah.

Darcel Lobo: 00:15:03

Also like you, when you're able to keep your word,

Darcel Lobo: 00:15:07

right, if you're disappointing someone, if you're not keeping

Darcel Lobo: 00:15:09

your own commitments or not in the timeframe that you've agreed

Darcel Lobo: 00:15:13

to, you know, you're disappointing lemon you, right?

Darcel Lobo: 00:15:16

I mean, you're not developing a very good reputation for

Darcel Lobo: 00:15:19

yourself either. Right. And so I think being able to be honest

Darcel Lobo: 00:15:25

with yourself and with them, and then to be able to deliver, you

Darcel Lobo: 00:15:29

know, on time, as you said, you would, I think it just goes a

Darcel Lobo: 00:15:33

lot further. Yeah.

Melinda Lee: 00:15:36

Do you have a story that you could share with

Melinda Lee: 00:15:39

someone that you supported? And what was the result?

Darcel Lobo: 00:15:43

Um, goodness, you know, when my clients come to

Darcel Lobo: 00:15:46

me, it's, you know, it is predominantly is lawyers that I

Darcel Lobo: 00:15:49

work with who, you know, do have their own law firms. Um, you

Darcel Lobo: 00:15:54

know, and for, you know, one client in particular that I've

Darcel Lobo: 00:15:57

worked with recently, it was about her her fees, and not

Darcel Lobo: 00:16:04

feeling, you know, worthy of charging what she was worth,

Darcel Lobo: 00:16:09

always discounting her fees, writing down her fees under

Darcel Lobo: 00:16:13

Billing. And, you know, when we first started, it was, okay, we

Darcel Lobo: 00:16:19

need to get to the root as to why, why do you feel bad about

Darcel Lobo: 00:16:23

earning, you know, what your worth and look at the value you

Darcel Lobo: 00:16:26

deliver, and the legal service that she provided, it was such a

Darcel Lobo: 00:16:29

value to her clients, and her clients weren't complaining

Darcel Lobo: 00:16:32

about her her bills and her her her fees, it was, she had this

Darcel Lobo: 00:16:37

internal guilt that we had to kind of work through and on,

Darcel Lobo: 00:16:41

unpack, you know, and really focus on the value that she's

Darcel Lobo: 00:16:45

delivering to her clients. And that was really a roadblock for

Darcel Lobo: 00:16:49

her and she was kind of plateaued, and her firm at her

Darcel Lobo: 00:16:52

income level, because she just couldn't get out of her own way.

Darcel Lobo: 00:16:56

It was nobody else telling her that her fees are too high, or

Darcel Lobo: 00:16:59

that she needed to reduce her fees, it was herself in her own

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:02

way. And so I think probably my clients, you know, it's just the

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:05

economy with its, they're in their own way. It's not any one

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:09

else a lot of times and you know, for myself, all right, is,

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:13

you know, that infinite voice in your head, the fear or the

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:16

imposter syndrome, whatever, you know, emotion that is attached

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:21

to it, it's like, how can we unpack that to help you get to

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:25

where you want to go on that next step. And so that's kind of

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:27

an example that I would help a client, you know, work with in

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:31

their law firm, or, you know, kind of time management,

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:34

productivity, improving systems and processes in your firm,

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:39

helping them increase their bottom line to be more

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:41

profitable in their law firms are kind of things that I see a

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:45

lot. And a lot of times those conversations, we start with the

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:48

professional issue, but there's usually some personal issues

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:50

that it all kind of comes together, right? I mean, they're

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:53

not, they're not isolated. Right. And so usually, it all

Darcel Lobo: 00:17:57

kind of ties together. So we start with this professional

Darcel Lobo: 00:18:00

issue. And then we kind of our unpacking some personal issues,

Darcel Lobo: 00:18:03

our internal, you know, baggage that they're having to help them

Darcel Lobo: 00:18:06

have a, you know, a happier life and a happier law firm, which is

Darcel Lobo: 00:18:09

really my goal for my clients. Right?

Melinda Lee: 00:18:11

Because you're, you're about their outcome. And

Melinda Lee: 00:18:13

if you're in the results, and yeah, totally, to change the

Melinda Lee: 00:18:18

result, we have to go in where we have to go to Yeah,

Darcel Lobo: 00:18:20

we have to do some cleanup work usually. Yeah. Yes.

Melinda Lee: 00:18:25

But that's where the real result happens is

Melinda Lee: 00:18:27

sustainable ones.

Darcel Lobo: 00:18:29

Yeah. So I think, you know, when when we do that

Darcel Lobo: 00:18:32

work, you know, the client is, you know, coming, you know, is

Darcel Lobo: 00:18:36

coming from internal. Right, so I'm helping them find it from

Darcel Lobo: 00:18:39

inside and to bring it out of them. Right, you know, and so, I

Darcel Lobo: 00:18:43

mean, there's some things reconcile my client okay, you

Darcel Lobo: 00:18:45

know, you should do this, this and this, you know, as far as

Darcel Lobo: 00:18:48

their law firms, but I think the real magic happens in a real

Darcel Lobo: 00:18:51

long term change happens when I help them finding answers from

Darcel Lobo: 00:18:54

within most of my clients know what they need to do, I just

Darcel Lobo: 00:18:58

have to help them bring it out and then help them be

Darcel Lobo: 00:19:00

accountable to themselves to make sure the change actually

Darcel Lobo: 00:19:02

happens.

Melinda Lee: 00:19:03

Right? Right. And it is mean accountability is so

Melinda Lee: 00:19:08

key especially because otherwise they would have done it a while

Melinda Lee: 00:19:10

ago but it's doing this internal work to create a different

Melinda Lee: 00:19:14

outcome. We need accountability someone to just be there for us

Melinda Lee: 00:19:18

especially when we want to retreat back to where we want it

Melinda Lee: 00:19:21

to. Yeah, go back to our old pattern.

Darcel Lobo: 00:19:24

Yeah, and especially when my client is

Darcel Lobo: 00:19:26

like they're so busy putting out the fires every day yeah, that

Darcel Lobo: 00:19:30

doing this you know clean up internal work which will be

Darcel Lobo: 00:19:33

better for them in the long run but and then mediate day to day

Darcel Lobo: 00:19:36

is not the priority so I help them to make it a priority in

Darcel Lobo: 00:19:39

their lives so we can have the long term change changes for the

Darcel Lobo: 00:19:43

better that they're looking for.

Melinda Lee: 00:19:44

Yeah. I'm gonna do the same thing right now. If

Melinda Lee: 00:19:48

you're on my YouTube channel, you can see that I'm a little

Melinda Lee: 00:19:51

stuffy and but because I love you all so much, I'm I work

Melinda Lee: 00:19:56

through this I wanted to be with Darcel today, to be yawn. This I

Melinda Lee: 00:20:00

think this is an amazing lots of insight on this episode where

Melinda Lee: 00:20:05

especially for us busy folks who are trying to manage both our

Melinda Lee: 00:20:08

professional life and our personal lives, so many gold

Melinda Lee: 00:20:11

nuggets, thank you so much Darcelle for sharing these

Melinda Lee: 00:20:15

pieces, your experiences and what you can do for your

Melinda Lee: 00:20:17

clients. How can people find you, whether it's were your

Melinda Lee: 00:20:21

attorney services or coaching? Yeah,

Darcel Lobo: 00:20:24

so my coaching website is dowel coaching.com

Darcel Lobo: 00:20:27

DHL coaching.com, or on LinkedIn. I'm at Darcelle Lobo.

Darcel Lobo: 00:20:32

And I think I'm the only Darcelle Lobo on LinkedIn. So I

Darcel Lobo: 00:20:35

should be pretty easy.

Melinda Lee: 00:20:36

Oh, wow.

Darcel Lobo: 00:20:39

And so yeah, so yeah, LinkedIn, you know,

Darcel Lobo: 00:20:42

Darcelle Lobo, or doubt coaching.com. I have some free

Darcel Lobo: 00:20:46

resources on my website about managing your time and how to

Darcel Lobo: 00:20:49

run your business more efficiently. And then also have

Darcel Lobo: 00:20:53

a free daily planner on the website as well. So a few

Darcel Lobo: 00:20:56

freebies on the website. So I would love to you know, grab a

Darcel Lobo: 00:20:59

freebie and if I can be of help to you, feel free to reach out.

Melinda Lee: 00:21:02

Great to reach out grab those for you these get the

Melinda Lee: 00:21:07

resources and thank you so much. Darcelle appreciate your time

Melinda Lee: 00:21:12

and your experience and sharing what your your wisdom with us.

Melinda Lee: 00:21:16

Oh, well, thank

Darcel Lobo: 00:21:17

you so much. Thanks for having me on.

Melinda Lee: 00:21:18

Thank you, and I'm gonna do some self care. Bye bye