Experience The Power Of Vulnerable Story Telling As Melinda Shares Tragic News

Welcome to the Speak In Flow podcast. Several

weeks ago, I released an episode called the power of

storytelling. And in that episode, we talked about the

framework for a compelling story, and how each piece is

essential to tell stories that are engaging. Today, we're going

to dive into vulnerabilities in your stories, and uncovering the

truth, like uncovering the uncomfortable truth. Because of

those complexities. those nuances are what makes stories

engaging and powerful. Because as leaders, we want to be seen

as inspiring, motivational, strong. So sometimes exposing

vulnerabilities in our stories can be uncomfortable, it can be

the unknown. And so we don't know quite yet how to balance

the both. And so that is what we're going to talk about today.

And the timing of today's episode is very relevant,

because I got a call today from a my best friend. And I'm going

to name her Sarah, just to keep things anonymous. Sara calls me

and says Melinda, I have bad news. And I had to pause, wait

for the news. She said, Rebecca just passed away. And I started

thinking, what about the daughter, she has an eight year

old daughter, Sara says, the eight year old daughter found

Rebecca debt. And my heart dropped to the pit of my

stomach. Because I also know that that daughter had just

experienced her father, six years ago, dying, because he got

hit by a truck on the freeway. And so I'm already starting to

tear up thinking about the daughter, how she has no

parents. And I'm sharing this story for several reasons.

Because A, we find healing and stories. And so thank you for

allowing me to share the story. Even if I just dropped this on

you. It has allowed me to heal. And as I was thinking about

where I wanted to share the story, some key elements that I

want to talk about today is important. They're all important

to consider. But before we get into those elements, I also want

to take a moment to to just send that daughter, some peace, take

a moment, to be in peace of silence for her. Thank you. And

the third reason why I share that story is just to feel

connected. In that moment that we all had together, we were

connected. As I was sharing that story, I hope you dropped into

some of the same sadness that I felt the same remorse, and, and

also concern for that daughter. And in that human connection, we

were together for just a moment, regardless of where you are in

the world, or what you may have been doing. In that moment, we

may have been connected through that sense, due to our feelings,

because our feelings are universal. That sense of sadness

and concern for that daughter, we were connected. And that is

the power of story as a power of storytelling, going into the

human connection. And as I was considering whether I wanted to

tell that story. There were three components had to really

think about relevance, authenticity, and boundaries,

right? Relevance. Is this story relevant to my audience, I

really had to think about that is a story about death. It's a

story about my friend dying. What does this have to do with

my audience? When you are considering your stories, making

it relevant is very important. Because time is of the essence,

right? People are doing so many different things. Are you

telling the story just to tell a story. There may be a time and

place to tell stories just for the sake of it. Maybe at a

party, you just jabbing away chipping away, and then you just

tell a story and have fun with it. And that's okay. But in a

professional setting as a leader, we want to tell relevant

stories and so selecting the ones that are relevant to your

audience, and most likely be think about their challenges.

And when you experience a similar challenge, that is a

connection. Those are relevant stories to tell So in my case,

I'm thinking, Well, talking about death. But as I thought

about it deeper, everyone has experienced death. And the

relevant part I made the connection to is that the human

connection is so important. And I want, I was hoping that you

could feel the human connection and how the power of story can

help us feel connected. And it drew you in. And so keeping your

story relevant to keeping an authentic, right, having a

genuine place, having your story be genuine, having the story be

real, that is what's going to resonate with your audience. And

for me, that was just happened today, it was as authentic as I

can be. And then that leads us to the third element of

boundaries. As I mentioned, as a leader, we all want to be seen

as strong confidence and going into vulnerabilities.

uncomfortable places, where do you draw the line? Right?

Because we may then be seen as weak when we're too vulnerable.

So how do you know how much vulnerability to share? When

you're considering the story you're about to tell? Ask

yourself first? How much emotion do I have in the story? And what

kind of emotion is it? If you're still angry about that story, or

that experience, how much anger do you have? If it's really

intense, and, and you might start seeing things that are

private or sensitive, then I invite you to just wait a bit

until you the emotion have decreased or has dissolved a bit

or you let them go, and some time to process out the emotion

because sometimes when you're highly charged with so much

emotion, you don't know how much information to disclose or not.

Sometimes you might be just venting out to your audience.

And you have to really think Is that who you want to be is that

the type of person you want to show up or the leader that you

want to show up as, and so really consider waiting, if

you're highly charged, if the emotion is anger, and you're you

may be concerned that you're going to say things that you

don't want to. So just wait a bit, doesn't mean you don't tell

the story. But wait until you know exactly what details to

share and not. And so then thinking about when you have

that story that is vulnerable, and you're okay with sharing

those details, you're comfortable sharing those

details and go all in, right go to the emotion. And because that

the emotion is what's going to connect you to the audience.

That's what's going to draw them in, when you can feel what you

have thought at that time, and go to that place and allow

people to also go there with you. That is what makes an

engaging story. That's what makes it powerful. And don't be

afraid to tell the stories that are complex, that are new ones

that are uncomfortable. That is what people need to hear,

because those are the stories that where we find gold. If we

stay in inspiration and what we have done and what we have

already accomplished. You're forgetting the nuance places the

uncomfortable places where we did search for answers where we

did search for meaning where we tried to search for purpose and

solutions, and we can't, but that is where we when we stay

there we can find it.

So today, I share the three elements to consider as a leader

on and telling vulnerable stories. The first one is

relevance, keeping it relevant to your audience. Second is

authenticity, keeping it authentic, telling genuine

stories that resonate with your audience. And third, knowing

your boundaries, how much you are really comfortable to share.

By considering those three elements. You're going to craft

stories that truly inspire. You're going to have stories

that lean into the discomfort that will lean into the

uncomfortable places, the provocative places that people

need to hear people are wanting to hear, because that is where

we connect. And by going to these places, we're going to

uncover the truth of humans the truth of who we are. And that is

what brings us together. And when you can go there you can be

and you can foster others to be to choose challenge them to be

better to do better and live in a world where all stories matter

and our voice matters to help us create a world of positive