How To Do a Perfect Speech - Alan Carroll

Welcome to Soul Talk. The podcast founded and created by Monica Ramirez, the Warrior of Love. Soul Talk was created in 2020, when a pandemic hit, and we were in lockdown. She wanted to have exciting conversations with open minded people, so they could understand different aspects of herself. And she could help others in the same way. She interviews, healers, coaches, therapists, psychics, readers, channelers, mediums, intellectuals, poets, artists, and more. She calls it soul talk, because it started as a conversation from soul to soul.

Hello, everyone, this is Monica Ramirez, Warrior of Love, and you're in salt talk. Thank you for being here. Again. I appreciate you. Today we have a podcaster with us, and many more things. And let me his name is Alan Carroll. And let me tell you a little bit who he is. Alan Carol, instead of educational psychologist who specialized in transpersonal psychology he founded Alan Carroll and Associates 30 years ago. And before that, he was senior sales training consultant for 10 years at Digital Equipment Corporation. He was dedicated his life in search of tools, he can be used for everyone to escape a psychology suffering caused by missing identification with our ego connected to the vast transcendent mindfulness, dimensions of conscious consciousness that lies just in the sight of the thoughts and thinking between the words we speak. That is very, very important, actually. And, Carroll, thank you for accepting my invitation for self talk. I really appreciate you being here. And

Thank you for the opportunity to share something that I think will help heal people, all people, young, old all around the world.

Yes, it is the people do not understand how important is the things that we talk? And how we are converting that into our new reality. And tell us a little bit more what do you do actually in your in your therapy? Or they what do you do in and transpersonal psychology

From an early age or talking teenager I was interested in we'll call spiritual things. I was reading books on on yoga books on Autobiography of a Yogi rom Das, his book be here now. And they talked about experiences of consciousness from usually from India. And I looked at my reality, Monica and I said I don't I don't experience those kinds of things. Although I believe that what they talked about in those books, the transcendent dimension of consciousness and enlightenment and spirituality was real, I just, I didn't have that experience. So what I ended up doing was following that path. And of course, if you're interested in spirituality, psychology would be a good, a good entry point, because psychology is, is understanding yourself and and how you react to things. And so that led to degrees in psychology, practicing psychology, and the type of psychology that seemed to hum to me was transpersonal. And transpersonal deals with the ego, we have this concept called an ego. And then we have a concept called a being and how do you build a bridge from the suffering that is caused by identification with the ego and to the identification with the bean which would be which would be space. And it turned out that if you can control the timing of your speaking while you are speaking, in other words, being able to while I'm talking to you, Monica, I'm able to put empty spaces between the sounds that I speak. That's called a pause. That's called a gap. And when you can consciously create the gap, you become still and when you become still there's no more agitation. There's no more what I'm doing. I'm blowing air out of my body right now. I'm vibrating it and agitating it and you're hearing a sound Now if I don't blow air out of my body, you hear no sound. And when you can balance the creation of the sound, and you can get balance it with the pausing, you now have control of the timing. And then who do you speak for? You speak for your ego, you speak for your identity. And when I can control the tongue of the ego, I may not be able to control the thoughts that ego thinks, but I can certainly control the tongue of the ego. And I can stop and think and pause, evaluate, decide what's the most appropriate loving action to take, rather than attack thoughts. And so I've been doing public speaking around the world for the last 40 years, transporting people from ego identity to being identity by telling them to pause.

That is so so helpful for many of the police because they became police because like me, and that knowing those tricks actually are very, very important. And that's something that you do have you. That's what you teach, actually, right? Mindfulness is a thesis, a speaker's, correct?

We call that we call the students, mindful, spacious speakers. And then a mindful, spacious speaker is able to create spaces, or pauses, between the sounds that I speak. So right now, I am consciously creating spaces between the sounds that I speak now a beginner, they'll have to slow it down a lot slower. Because there there are, they're already on a habit of speaking of pattern of speaking. So we want to disrupt that pattern of speaking. But you don't even know you're in a pattern of speaking. You don't even know that. 8 billion people on the planet, they can hear your voice and say that's Monica. Because you have a pattern of your speaking the ego has a pattern. And if you can disrupt the pattern of the speaking, it disrupts the automatic flow. And from the time you get up in the morning, to the time you go to bed at night, it's one continuous flow of uninterrupted thought. Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, talk about 65 to 80,000 thoughts a day, pass through your consciousness? And that's a lot of thoughts, and have those thoughts, how many do you manage? I don't manage what do you mean manage my thoughts? Well, you have to start working on managing your thoughts. And the way to manage your thoughts and speaking is to be able to stop. And amateur speakers are not able to stop speaking and create gaps of silence. And then that silence is a portal that opens up to a spaciousness of void and emptiness. And when you are able to look at that emptiness, and be in the emptiness, you now have control of your physical body, you can tell your body in the middle of your talk. Take a breath, you can tell your body to ground your feet. You can tell your body to become still you can tell your body how I want to formulate the next thought form that I want to send across to you, Monica, how do I want to use my hands? How do I want to create my gestures? What voice Do I want to use when I speak to you all that requires time. And if you're not able to control the timing, you don't have access to that resource. And so a mindful space and speaker controls the timing. And that takes practice. Being able to disrupt the egos speaking why the ego is speaking means that I'm now the CEO of the show here. My mind is no longer the CEO, the ego is no longer the CEO. My being is the CEO and I'm going to choose to speak loving thoughts rather than thoughts of attacking and defending my point of view where the ego comes in. Now I'm not going to use those thoughts. I'm going to create compassionate thoughts because I now have the power to control the speaking so why not pay The reality in a loving way rather than my ego defending itself way.

That is so true. I teach people how to observe their thoughts so they can create their reality. And, and that's a different technique. And because our something that I have noticed with myself, my, my thoughts are way faster than when I speak. So sometimes even if English is my second language, it is hard for me to the thoughts are there. So sometimes I have to even go to translation in my head to I can speak in English and that it just create more. Sometimes the IDs or the words is hard to find. So I can't even speak because I have to translate it in English.

That's true. A lot of my students around the world, English is not their number one language. And so why ask them? Okay, when when you think, are you thinking and Spanish speaking English? Are you able to think English, speak English. And if you're fluent, you can think English speak English. If you're not fluent, you think you think Spanish speak English, which requires a delay, because you now have to do another step that you didn't have to do before. And if you don't slow down the pattern of your speaking, you're not giving yourself the time to formulate the English thought accurately. And so it's pretty easy to formulate clear thoughts if you slow down, but you got to think about, I'm going to pause. And if you don't have the thought, while you're speaking that I'm going to pause now, there's no way you're going to pause. If you don't have the thought, while I'm speaking to you, Monica Allen take a breath. Allen's not going to take a breath. And if you can't, if you can't control the flow of oxygen in the machine, the body the instrument here that speaking, you just go for know a half a liter in half a liter out half a liter in half a liter out at rest. But the whole lungs take six liters. And you can increase the volume of energy that you breathe in by just constantly taking a full breath means you push your belly out and you get you get at least 150% more energy in your body, when you can tell your body to take a full breath rather than default, back to just an automatic breathing. And if you can give your body more energy, that's very healings, especially if you're in the public speaking business to be able to energize your body, because the energy is the fire that burns that sends the sense the thought form out. And if you want to boom, the thought form, you need to have a need to have that breath. When you're singing. For example, when you sing you, you take the breath to a lawsuit. I take that breath before I speak and I don't take that breath laws laws. So a speaker who is able to control the breathing, the quality of the sound that they make is more is more is more impactful, then operating just on a little bit of breath and a little bit of a because I'm not thinking about breathing. I'm letting my automatic breathing, do that. But I have to be present. And when I'm present, I now have control of the instrument. And now I can make the instrument perform better, because I'm now in control because I'm using the pause to create the time to give me control.

That is so so great tip. And really, of course, it is a practice that is a training, it is not something that is gonna just come out of the blue. Like going back to the second language, even if we know we're fluent in English, because it's our second language, it is hard to know all the vocabulary. So just finding the cause because we don't know it is we I was first language is something else I can make case. And I might not know the word. But I have to go around the phrase so I can say the same meaning of the word that I don't know. Or I forgot about it, because it is such a different language than mine, even if I'm thinking in English. So

That I don't know is a pretty important problem for the ego. Because the ego paints the interpretation of the reality that I'm looking at right now from I know what this is. I know I know that you're Monica. I know that you're the So I know I know, I'm out. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. However you're using, you're using the past, because you don't know anything about this moment of now this is a brand new moment of now you'd never been in this moment. And now before so you don't know squat about this moment in the home. Now I know what this moment of now is. This is Alan, this is me. This is my body. This is America. Not that I know. I know. I know. Well, there's another way of looking. And another way of looking is to not paint this moment with past paint. Not paint this moment with, I know paint our memory paint the present into this moment, well, how do you get present? You think you are present in the moment? So what do you mean? I'm not present in the moment? What do you mean, this is just a dream? What What are you talking about? Well, you don't know what I'm talking about. Because you're trapped in a prison of your thoughts. And until you can escape from the prison of your thoughts, you are in the matrix. And so you got to be able to take the red pill, in order to break through the illusion. And what is the illusion the illusion is that you're a thought that you are thinking that there's that all there is is the thoughts that I'm thinking. And the thoughts you're thinking toe would say, are just the ripples on top of the ocean. The ocean is stillness is underneath. And when you practice pausing, you drop down into the stillness of the ocean of stillness, calmness, peaceful, loving, joy, wisdom, stillness, no agitation. Heartbeat slows down, breath rate slows down, blood pressure slows down, you begin to no longer react to things that are going on in front of you, you're able to take a pause, you're able to breathe, be able to create a buffer, you would have reacted like that before, now you're taking your time, count to 10, before you do anything, my mom would tell me, and then I will act. So that's a big difference between reacting and responding. And that comes with creation of space or the pausing. And that's, that's a practice. And, and the way to start for your audience is, is to practice the mindful space to speaking controlling the timing. If you're speaking, go home, close the door in the bathroom, sit down, look at yourself in the mirror. And get your body absolutely relaxed. Keep your eyes closed, absolutely relaxed your body, keep relaxing it relax. When you think your body is relaxed, open your eyes and look at yourself in the mirror. And see if you could just hold eye contact with yourself in the mirror. You don't have to say anything, just to see if you can hold eye contact with yourself in a mirror without any physical agitation. If you can keep your body relaxed, no physical agitation, hold eye contact with myself in the mirror. And if I Spy starts agitated, just close your eyes. Take some breaths, open your eyes and be able to do that until your body is relaxed. And you can hold eye contact with yourself in the mirror. Then step two is begin to make some sounds talk to yourself in the mirror this real slow sounds Hello, Alan. How are you? Today. And so now what I'm doing is I'm making the sound but I'm exaggerating the emptiness between the sounds. And so I'm slowing down that 125 to 140 Sounds words per minute. We're slowing it down to maybe 7075 words per minute. And what you're doing is you're taking 70 some odd sounds out and you're putting 70 empty spaces in and so you become more spacious. And that that will be a wonderful feeling because the Alexander the Great is one of the fables of Alexander the Great and he came to the town of Gardea in 333 BC and saw something called the called the Gordian knot. And if whoever could unravel the Gordian knot would be the ruler of Asia. So Alexander the Great say, Hey, man, I gotta be the ruler agent. He came in, saw the knot, took his sword and cut the knot. And that unraveled and I wasn't what everybody thought the way to do it, but it worked and he unraveled the knot and he became The ruler of Asia for a while. So the Gordian knot are the thoughts inside our head is like a Gordian knot, a constellation of all these thoughts going on all the time, and we want to do it, we want to dissolve the thoughts. Well, how do you dissolve the thoughts, you dissolve the thoughts by creating spaces between the thoughts that you speak. And that will also create spaces between the thoughts that you think and that will begin to dissolve that the binding the glue that holds the ego together, and you will become more spacious, and you will accelerate yourself towards that, that space of the being the transcendent dimension of consciousness, which is beyond the concept that beyond the conceptual it's a non conceptual transcendent dimension of consciousness, which you can call enlightenment. You can call it Satori, you can call it mindfulness, you can call it presence, you can call it emptiness, you can call it unmanifested, you can call it whatever you want. There's lots of names for it. But it's available to everybody. And the sooner we can teach people that younger, we can teach people how to control the tongue.

Yeah.

How to control the tongue, they will have a much more joyful life. Because what you say paints the reality in which you live. And if I don't like what you say, and you're a bang, and your bang, and I am feeling really good, because my ego really gets to assert itself, but I'm also damaging my physical body, I'm changing the chemicals in my physical body, which is creating, which is creating a like an acid, which, which causes disease, and you don't want that. So pausing is available to everybody, it's free.

And that also can cause shame, and later on guilt, and that creates a different set of problems in there.

Guilt guilt is a big one guilt is the the I was raised Christianity I was raised the Presbyterian, went to church went to Sunday school, did Christmas, you know, the all the all the all the traditional, all the additional things, learned that Lord's Prayer, have learned the Apostles Creed, and memorized it and said it and he said it didn't have a lot of meaning, but I would do it because you know, it's just what you do. And you go to church, blah, blah, blah, blah, but you actually start to read the Lord's Prayer. And you actually start to look at the Apostles Creed, the wisdom of the spiritual wisdom is there. But if you know a teenager, what what do I know about it? Right right there. And the Lord's Prayer is the forgiveness of sin. And the forgiveness of debts and debtors trust passes and trust, the trust passing that I do the trust passing this done for me the debts that debtors owe me debtors that I've done, Apostles Creed, says, the forgiveness of sin. What do you mean the forgiveness of sin? Well, in in your reality that you've lived from the time you woke up in the morning of your life, when you were conscious at two or three years old to till this moment right now, there are things that happen to you that you don't like. They do complain about. I don't like that. That's wrong. That's right that day that that. And so for each of the things that you don't like you have a grievance or complaint. And so you are now painting on the canvas in your mind, your mind's eye, you're painting a piece of crap. In your reality in the movie that you're in right now and you are painting it? Why would I paint a piece of crap in my in my movie? Well, because I'm right. And you're wrong. And I'm not going to forgive you for what you did. And I will never ever forgive you. Well, then you're in trouble. If you're not able to forgive. Then you are holding on to a cannonball and you're jumping into the ocean holding on to a 30 pound cannonball and drowning and suffering in your righteousness. And yeah, you get ego gets to be right, but you're destroying your physical body. You are you are damaging your physical body you are causing harm and sickness to your physical body. And so salvation forgiveness of sin comes from practicing forgiveness. And is not only forgiving things outside of myself that my mother for example, you can always say your parents I am the way I am because my mother didn't love me. My father didn't love me. I was an orphan. I got on the dotted line. You can have all the reasons to justify your position. However you need to be able to Let go practice forgiveness of yourself. And the more forgiveness you can you can practice, the more joyful and happy your life will be. But you got to let it go. But it's hard to let it go because I'm right and you were wrong. Oh, I righteous, I'm right. You know, it's really hard for the ego to let go, because the ego has identified itself based on his grievances. I am, I am a victim. You know, that's why I am the way I am. I'm a victim and my mother did it to me or my father did it to me and I'm, I'm a victim, and see all the things that have happened to me in my life. I'm a victim, I'm a victim, I'm a victim. And so you know, you think victims bad? No, that is not bad. It's a lot of suffering. However, it's in their reality. It's not bad, it feeds my ego, because my ego says I'm a victim, I gotta prove I'm a victim. Well, you gotta let go a victim can't let go a victim, but that's who I am. No, it's not who you are. It's who you think you are.

Because it can be very addictive, the precisely they been the victim. If it feeds the ego to a point where it can get too sick is not going to get him power ever. In the moment you continue to be in the victim and the people are so used to by generations to observe that the victim is unique had compassion of or love, or attention of other people, because who person and that's why they use it, it is more easy for the person to continue with that, that empower themselves and let go the victim. And that's why one of the reasons that why they have to always win and compete and so forth. And there's why for them to carry guilt and shame and so forth. Yeah, because it's easier.

And they don't know it's if you just aren't trained as a child, you're not trained in school, you're, you're not aware of managing thoughts has anything to do with what you see and how you react and you got to, you got to be interested in the subject matter, you got it, you got to take time to focus on the inner journey, you have to take time every day to close your eyes and become still every day you have to practice like brushing your teeth. Because every time I'm able to pause a little hole is created in my reality. And if I can practice pausing another little hole is created in my reality to my reality. And there is a an analogy of mowing a lawn. And in the wintertime, the lawn is frozen. And in the springtime, it begins to thaw and we want to do is aerate the soil. And so we have a rolling you know something we rolls on the lawn it has spikes in it, and it puts holes in the in the lawn and then you put the water in the fertilizer and, and the lawn blooms. Well, if you want the being to bloom, if you want the flowers to appear, the joy, the bliss, the ecstasy to appear in your reality, then by pausing, consciously allows you to immediately relax your body and take a breath. And that will disrupt the automatic flow of your thoughts. And so you can paint a different picture now. You can no law, you can paint the interpretation in a much more compassionate way. Because most people, they take things personally. And if I say something to you that you've identified yourself to be, let's say you're from Texas, you know, people from Texas are pretty stupid Monica. And they shouldn't they shouldn't really have a chance to live in Texas. They're the dumbest people I've ever seen. Now if you've identified yourself as a Texan, then you as a Texas aren't that wake up Yankees here in Virginia, there would be now a conflict going back because I pressed the button. But I could also say people from Texas are the most wonderful people in the world. They're generous, they're enthusiastic, they're loving, they're kind. They're interested in the environment registered and contributing and being healthy and strong and making the world a better place to be. Well you like that? Because you've identified yourself as a Texan and I poured I poured water on those flowers and now you feel watered and you feel you like that makes no difference. Whether you reacted positively, or you reacted negatively, you're still stuck in the prison of your identity. And so the idea is to recognize that I have an identity, I have an ego. However, it doesn't rule me. Just because I was raised in American, it doesn't mean I have to be mean to people who don't live in America, I have to fight for something, you begin to recognize that your spiritual being encompasses every everything is encompasses the all. And one of the sayings that I like Monica is that you have a choice. The choice is either either you can see yourself as the all that contains everything, or you're just something, just a little something in the space of the all. And the ego is just a little something tiny in the vast cosmic space of the all. And you're encased in this little skin and this little body, and the world is big, and you are small. Or you can say, You know what, I think that's an illusion. I think I'm the all that contains everything, including you. And so now being nice to you is not being nice to us being nice to myself, because you and myself at the same thing. Though it doesn't look that way to the physical eyes. The the energy that drives that machine, the the electricity that drives that machine is the same electricity that drives this machine. This machines, the masculine machine in your feminine machine, you you're you have your own cat, you're Texas, but the energy, the energy inside of everybody is all the same. And so gives you a way of connecting where you think you wouldn't connect before you can begin to connect and have compassion for for everyone.

Speaker 1 00:31:54

Welcome, then choosing be part of this group, you have said yes to yourself. You've chosen to confront those limitations keeping you from achieving the life of your dreams. Monica Ramirez, Warrior of Love is a transformational belief coach. She's a psychic, Channeler certified NLP life coach BQ H that is hypnotherapy, Akashic Records reader, public speaker, writer and artist. She works with many modalities and is created her own like this one, to help you let go of the limitations and achieve the transformation you desire. So you can anchor your emotions that you desire. Tony will be hosting a new session every Tuesday at 7pm Central time leading the group through a guided meditation, then proceeding to work with people individually. So join Monica here in this free journey by joining this zoom link.

Got a question taking you back about the bottoms. When someone to touch our buttons. That's when they make us react. And we stop thinking of having the spaces. And that take me to well, we're coming to holidays very soon, in United States, Thanksgiving and Christmas, Easter holidays. And family. Family has that magnificent touch to touch those buttons and make everybody react. How will you apply this when someone is touching two buttons.

You know, either you are awake, or you're asleep. And either you're conscious. Or you're unconscious. Yeah. And most people are unconscious, they don't know that my button just got pressed. And they just know that I'm wrong. And I need to defend my point of view. And I need to show this person what they don't know that I did that for fun that I just pressed the button over there. Because you've you've not you have not practice pausing and stillness, your mind is constantly agitated. The the goal would be to have clarity. But every time you think and every time you have emotions and talking you have agitation every time you pause the agitation goes away and have clarity. And clarity allows you to ride through Thanksgiving allows you to ride through Christmas time. It allows you to ride through New Year's Eve, fun and stable and relaxed and grounded and not get caught by everyone's stories where everyone's Oh, you're not have this and you should have done that. And that's not the present. I want to Oh my God, that's terrible. Look what's happening on television. What are we going to do on a football team and all the anger and all the upset everybody just throws all their grievances together at Christmas time and everybody has the same grievances and so they've identified themselves as far as those people. Yeah, those people are really bad people. We people are really good people. And so it's not something that you can just To be able to become conscious, allows you not to take offense. Because if somebody says something to you in a negative way, that comes from their reality, it has nothing to do with you. But you the ego, if you've identified yourself as the ego, and I say something to you that you've identified yourself as strong identification, it will stir up the energy, it will cause the, it will cause a Oh, the IRA. And you will make decisions in that space of consciousness, which are very destructive. The worst decisions you make are when you're when you're agitated, anger, for example, getting angry about things creates the agitation, and you do stupid actions that you may regret later, but in the moment, it sure felt good. Well, why did you get angry in the first place, because they pressed the button, and you didn't know they pressed the button, because you're unconscious. And until you begin to practice becoming more conscious, then you're not gonna be able to catch the ball when it's thrown at you, you're gonna react. And so mindful, spacious speaking, is a tool that allows you to become conscious to create the space between the sounds that the ego makes. And so you don't get caught by the story anymore. You say, Wow, one of the teachers taught me way back, way back in the 70s, Werner Earhart was up at the s training in San Francisco with 10,000 people at the Cow Palace, and is a weekend course on relationships. And you could stand up and take a microphone and ask Warren or a question. And Jonathan stood up. And Jonathan said, Well, what about my father, my father doesn't love me the way I want my father to love me, my girlfriend, she doesn't love me the way I want my girlfriend to love me. What about that? Haha, tell you about that one. And Werner said, Well, what you're getting from your father. And what you're getting from your girlfriend is a bound up expression of an absolute love for you. And at that moment of time, the highest level of love that they could muster is whatever they said. And so if the way I'm expressing my love is by making you wrong, and you shouldn't have done that, and you're a nasty gang, if that's it, that's the way I express my love. And that moment of now, Christmas or Thanksgiving, then you have to be able to step back and say, Whoa, look at the reality that Alan lives in, that he would express himself in such a dysfunctional way. That causes more harm to himself, and his body and his mind. And therefore, you're able to generate compassion. And most people are not able to generate compassion, because they take what I said personally, and they will attack, they will use their they will attack and defend that which I have pressed the button on. So unless you practice mindfulness, unless you practice consciousness techniques, you're going to be bamboozled by what people say, constantly being hooked by people, what they have to say, and you don't even know you're hooked. Children do that with parents. And it's not it's not hard to hook your parents. They know what to say to get your parents upset. You know what to say, to get your parents upset? So what buttons to press, why would you do that makes me feel good. Makes my ego feel good?

Yes, that is so true. I have a question. There have been many leaders in the history of the planets. Not only in the United States, I'm talking about the whole planet and one of them that it comes to my mind that he was one of the tests, public speakers that that control big masses and change the way they observe the more absurdity of the things like Hitler. Hitler was a leader. And he was very good in public speaking. What did he have in common with Martin Luther King that he was a public speaker to annelid.

The when when you speak, there's two types of thoughts. There's loving thoughts, and there's unloving thoughts. And when Martin Luther King's speaks, he's speaking for loving thoughts. He's speaking for unity. He's speaking for connectedness. And he was a very good speaker. He was raised in a church, it was exposed to ministers, Baptist ministers, who were able to really have a little bit of time to be able to say what you want to say. But not only that, Sister Monica. Not only that, you have to say, I'm going to testify, because they would listen to that. And what that does, it's like a snake charmer, with that flute in India. And the snake would come out. And so you can charm the audience with your voice. And I can break them, I can bring them up, I can tell them that those people over there are they an NA Panja. Yeah, and you can renew can energize and, and direct people people's attention. But that's not a loving thought. That's an identity thought, that's an ego identity, I need to survive, and we need to attack these people. And we need for you to follow me and create that enemy outside of ourselves. So I can name power and control and dominate the world. So the intention behind Martin Luther King is one of loving the skill set of being able to control the timing. Hitler could control the timing. Martin Luther King can control the timing. Barack Obama can control the timing. Donald Trump, Donald Trump, you may have, you know, lots of different people have lots of different thoughts about Donald Trump. He's a great speaker. He's a great speaker. People listened to him. And boy, it's just I can tell you and he goes slow. He has maybe 40 words, he says, and mixes them all together at a very slow pace. And you know, I know you know, those people, how slow he talks. And you got to have a lot of control to talk that slow. And to formulate the thought to ride the wave of energy and know how long to sustain it. And then let it go. It's almost like singing. I'm going to sing with my voice I'm going to make sounds with my voice. And so he these professional speakers, these politicians across the board, you can tell right away whether or not they're good speakers, because there's space between the sounds that they make, or they're not good speakers, there is no space between the sounds, there's no pauses at all, between the sounds that they make.

That is great observation. And thank you is it put me to an perspective so many things, or that I have not observed before? Thank you is great. Now, I in July, I went to Harvard and with Botox to give a speech over there, and I was so nervous it was there. That my legs when I went into stage, my legs were just feeling like gelatine you know, it was I did it either way. But I feel that everybody we're observing my legs and the word like gelatine not everybody told me no, we don't so that they don't like that thing, God. But even this lights that I have in my candidate, the thing to change in the slides, I forgot even to change the slides that I was so nervous. I was just focusing, do same a story instead of even clicking the bottom to change my slides. How do you tell someone when they're public speaking in a crowd, or with more than two people, and they have important message to give, how they can control their nerves.

The number one skill is Have you earned the right to speak when they invited you to go to Harvard, you have a certain level of knowledge, a certain level of expertise, either that is real or that is fake. Now if it's real, then the ice under your feet is thick. And so when you take the sound that you're gonna be talking about it from the audience, you're pushing off of your feet, and I can I'm confident I can throw I can throw the ball pretty hard to to the audience because I've earned the right to speak I know about this ball. Now if the ice is thin under your feet, then I haven't really deserved have the right to speak and, and oh, I'm gonna look like a fool. And I'm going to push out and begin to fall through the ice. And so I'm real timid. So have you earned the right to speak? So now I've earned the right to speak. So now you have 45 minutes to half an hour in order to solve what problem what what is the pain that the audience has that you have a solution for, you're like a doctor. Now, that's going to perform an operation, and you got 45 minutes. So you don't want to be spending time thinking about do they love me, you want to be understanding that you have, you have a solution that will heal the pain. And so you want to focus on the procedure of the operation, and make it simple, you know, divided into pieces. So it's it's not overwhelming, of information. And so now we can talk a little bit about the technique. And the technique is to be able to practice the pausing, and the grounding in the embodying yourself in front of the audience. Because every time you speak, you go to the disembodied state. And every time you pause, you go to the embodied state. And so you want to be able to dance between the yang energy, which is the disembodied state of the sound, the forward thrusting of the energy, and the yang energy, the feminine energy, which is the inhalation, the grounding, and the pausing. And so you're able to say what you want to say, and then pause. So the dance, you're dancing with this, and dancing with this. And so that is the dance. And, and so that will, because in, in that pause, you can tell your body to take a breath, and ground your feet, move over here, move over there, press the clicker, Monica, you can tell yourself what to do, if you pause, if you don't pause, if you're not thinking about pausing, then there's no time for you to control the clicker, relax your body, take a breath, you've took a deep breath that would relax your body. If you moved your body, it was like a little massage on the stage, if you created some gestures, but it did this and this and you can actually massaging and relaxing your body as you create the gestures. But you can't think about all those things unless you're able to practice. Mindful, spacious speaking. You can't do all those things. And, and anxiety and nervousness intention is that your mind is in the future. You're thinking about your self is going to, you're going to make a fool out of yourself. And you know, as well as I know, the fool is the most powerful card in the Major Arcana. It's the zero card, it can go anywhere, it can go anywhere, it want is not a fixed point. And most people are are hesitant to embrace the fool. Because that would make them look foolish. That would make my ego look foolish. That would make no I don't want to look foolish, I don't know. But it turned out that if you're using all your your energy to to not be a fool, then you are handcuffing yourself. And so the pausing the breathing, and the last thing I'll mention is report. What did you do to connect to the audience? How early did you get there? Who whose hands did you shake? Who did you meet? How did you how did you do the warm up to the sport before you went out on the field to play when you watch football, they spend a half an hour before the game starts on the field exercising and moving and running and passing, doing all these things that they're warming up before they get up on the stage. And most people they don't think about warming up I've always think about warming up I want to shake hands meet people and connect to people. So when I I've done the warm up already want to get up on stage. I'm already warmed up. I'm not I'm not doing my warm up from the stage. I did my warm up in the audience when I got there half an hour early to meet people and connect to people.

Alan, do you teach? You have classes they work on one on one or do with working groups? Or do you have a class going on that they're going to be teaching soon.

All all the above. We've been teaching for 40 years around the world, major corporations. And we offer virtual classes. We offer live classes, we offer individual coaching classes, we can coach people on Zoom. It turned out that when the COVID happened, we had to shift from live trainings where we fly all over the world to well, I'll fly from this to the office, and I'll do a zoom. And it turned out that pausing in the Zoom world is the same as Is pausing in the real world. So we can train people to control their timing, whether it's virtually or whether it's live. And you can go to the website, and you can find out about our programs. And that will allow you to, by all means, we'd love to talk and grow and share and training, whether it's individual or groups, even even children, the idea of mindful spacious speaking with children starting at the age, maybe six, six, or seven, where they begin to pause and, and one of the people I talked to they work with children, they have a little bottle with glitter. And when the child would talk, they would do the glitter. And they would tell the child Don't talk until the glitter stops. And so they would watch the glitter. So they practice pausing a little blob of glitter. And so it's we happy to talk to folks and spread the word, we'd love

Do you to come back to our group class that you're going to be having soon. So data we can people that are listening right now they can be, they may be interested.

Absolutely. On our website, we have classes that are listed there, we have a live class that's going to be happening up at the end of October, if you want to fly in to Hailey, Idaho Sun Valley, Idaho, we're offering offering your class up in Sun Valley, Idaho, and we're offering also in November, we're offering virtual classes. And if you're in Saudi Arabia, at the end of November, we're offering a class in Saudi Arabia, Riyadh, if you'd like to come to Riyadh,

that's three of them. It sounds very, very nice.

Well, it's fun, we well, I've been lucky to be able to travel internationally, and see many different people, many different cultures. And, and issues always the same, that people are not present when they speak. Because they're not practicing. Getting control. I call it a, I call it a command override switch, where I can, I can now stop and pause. And I can speak and I can go. And so that's whether it's an executive, whether it is an individual contributor, their ability to control the timing of their speaking, they don't even think about that, because that's not important was important to the sounds that the content that that's what's important. But it turned out that yeah, the content is the satellite, but the rocket that delivers the the is the data, the voice, the video, that's the rocket ship that launches the satellite into the orbit of the of the customer into their mind. And so most people just focus on that the satellite, they don't realize the power of groundedness the power of pausing the vocal changes with their voice, the creation of, of gestures, the use of three dimensional objects in order to make in order to help the audience understand. They don't, there's no training there. So you need to be trained on how to do those things.

I might take your class.

Wonderful. We love that. Monica, fly to Idaho, you want to fly up to Idaho? Are you gonna do the virtual one too? You can sit there in Texas, and you can do the virtual class.

Yeah, the funny part is in November, I have to do events. One, I'm going to give a speech in Miami. And, and in the talks and delta one is going to be going to podcasters with amplify you in Mexico guessing portray yet

Good for you. Good for you. i i I heard about that I thinking about podcasting. And I'm right now I just sort of entered into the world of being a guest on podcast. And so now it's like, well, what would it be like to actually do a podcast that and experience that? And so like I saw Michelle and did that one day one, one hour training that she did a couple of weeks ago. And I don't know if you were there, but she was talking about podcasting. And, and from the podcasters point of view, not from the guest point point of view. And I thought that was very interesting. That's what I want to do is I want to, you know, what, in terms of expanding, you know, I'd love to get your input on what you've experienced. We could do that offline. With podcasting and suggestions on on how to know how to how did it go for you, you know, what have you learned because you've been doing it for quite a while.

Yes, I do enjoy being a podcaster too. That's something that is another of my passions. He became very strongly with that. He was, we can talk about that of line in But Alan, I really want to thank you for older advices is really I have not thought about it in passing before I speak. I always do conscious breathing, and I teach that. But I have not thought about pausing before I speak. That is so different that I have not heard before, but it is really a game changer.

Well, it is a game changer because you have to be mindful to do it. People say well, how do I become mindful how to become present? How do I how do I transcend my ego? Well disrupt the flow. What do you mean disruptive? Pause. And you'll see that it is not natural. But that soon is I've been practicing a long time. And as soon as I pause, immediately relaxation comes into my body. And I'm able to take a breath. And that gives me an advantage over the person who I might be competing against who I might be talking to, or, or who's who's tense on stage. And Alan's not tense on stage. Why is Alan not tense on stage, Alan's practicing pausing, I was also talking about something he knows about. So I'm not afraid of making a mistake. I'm not afraid of something, you'll ask me a question I won't be able to answer. If you asked me a question, I won't be able to answer Hey, I don't know. I don't know. You know, you say you don't know or say, let me check and I'll get back to you. And because you can't possibly know everything there is to know about everything they add the ego would like that. However, it is not possible. So I'm not really worried about being able to be you know, someone's gonna ask me a question that I don't know how to answer.

That is such that is so true. Well, this video was helpful. Please click like, write us a review. Or share it with your friends. Because it is making up someone else. Not only yourself. Thank you so much for watching Soul Talk and this is Monica Ramirez, Warrior of Love. Thank you.

Bye bye.