Your Story Matters EP:27

Hello, my friends and welcome. You're listening to soul inspired decisions, a podcast for ordinary moms living extraordinary lives. My intention with this podcast is to teach, motivate and inspire by sharing stories, tools and strategies to help you unlock your greatest fears, annoying habits and old stories and make a move towards the things that have been on your heart. If you have been a little lost, or in a funk, and want to reconnect with your purpose, your passion and feel empowered again, then this is the best place for you to be hanging out. My name is Carrie Lecuyer. And I'm an ordinary mom making extraordinary decisions. This is me putting one foot in front of the other, moving towards my next goal, and hoping to inspire you along the way. Let's get started.

Welcome back, everyone to inspired coaching by carry that's me carry liquid. So this is the soul inspired decisions podcast. And this was created last spring, because there's this inner knowing this inner point where we make a decision, and then everything becomes clearer, even though the journey on what we're after going after is seems so far away, we start moving towards it. And that journey is what drives us and keeps us going and changes our attitude and changes our habits and behaviors and stories. And so with this week, heading into, it's supposed to be a really good energetic alignment week, in the middle of heading into the middle of February here, but we're heading towards greater clarity and motivation to make the changes we need to be aware of and need to make in our lives in our career. And sometimes we get stuck up on our stories, which is ultimately why we can't move forward. So that's what I wanted to dive into a little bit today, because it's something that I'm fascinated about. Because when I get on a call with anybody and everybody or just talking to someone at the grocery store, at the pool at wherever we go, when we make conversation, I just naturally ask the right questions. And instantly story comes up almost 100% of the time on why they aren't doing something, or living the way they want to or why they're doing the thing they're doing it. It's just, it's our a trap. And if you're not aware of being in that trap, you're always going to stay there. And you're always just going to loop there. And that's your story, you're going to loop in your story to yourself, secure your story, that you just want to make change, recreate, try something, do something invest in yourself. And that's when it becomes powerful. So how do we get unstuck? And tell another story. That's the hardest part is just to first off recognize that you are in a story in the same story you've been in last year at this time, the year before that at this time and two years before the heck some of you might have been in the same story for the last 15 years. And some of you may be exhausted. So what is the new story, we should be telling ourselves well, should we shouldn't use the word should so should comes up in your conversation, that's still not your authentic self coming out. That's all the things you think that you should do. And that's not fully aligned with your heart either. So the first thing we can do is tell the truth. Go for a walk, talk to yourself, have a bath, talk to yourself, take yourself out for lunch. Tell the truth to somebody, your inner self, on what been going on with you. Why haven't you done the thing you've wanted to do? Why haven't you taken the actions that you needed to take? You are where you are because of your story. It doesn't define you, but it makes you who you are until you stop it. I've had to stop my story a few times throughout my life, but I recognize that I'm sick of it. And in our home and in in our marriage. When we talk about when we talk about the negative so much. Then our thing is is that if this is all you can talk about, then obviously something needs to be changed. That's it because we don't want to come home and talk about the negative every day. We don't want to wake up and feel the negative every day. You know that sick feeling in your stomach? Back when you don't want to go to work, this sick feeling in your stomach when you don't want to take your kids to that childcare person.

But we do it anyway. Because our story is, is that we get up, we take our kids to daycare, preschool, whatever it is, and we go to work. And we do that awful job that makes us feel tired and sick and lonely and not appreciated. And it's not giving us anything but that paycheck, which for many of us is our lifeline really, that's what matters the most in our minds, until you change. Because until you make a difference in how you change your story, that story can't change, you can't open yourself up to a better job, more money, better childcare, better friends, better hobbies, that are interests, because you're stuck in the same old and it gets exhausting. And people around you, I'm sure are exhausted of hearing your story. I mean, if you went for a walk with your friend, or just asked simply asked your husband non, you know, keep the walls up there, there's no fighting over it, you know, just in from a place of love. Ask your husband what your story is, or your partner, they'll tell you, we all know it. And the hardest thing you'll ever hear is it coming back to you from someone that you love. That's when you know, it's time to make a change. That's when you know that everything you felt about it, whatever it may be, it's time to change. And you look at your truth, you understand your pain, give yourself a little bit of grace. And then you start to pick up the pieces. Put them on the shelf, because you're going to shelf, all that stuff, essentially shelf your shit. And grab a new piece of paper and a pen and start writing your own story. Start writing a new story, start writing a story that you can be proud of that your kids can look at you and be proud of it your family, your spouse, your co workers can be proud of that you did that. And I did a post today on social media, if you don't follow me, I'm at Inspire coaching by carry. So that's where I hang out a little bit. And today's post was on that. What is it that you do? That creates a great story because we all have we all have a really great story. And it can motivate others it can inspire others that can influence others help others. When we share it authentically, from a place of love and wanting to help others through a path or a journey, then we can really start creating this network in connection to people that we really ally with. But if we just hold it all in, then we just get consumed and exhausted by it. And it just wears us down till we don't know who we are. And that's exhausting. So when clients come to me, and you know, the first thing I always ask is why? Because they came to me for a reason. I'm not forcing anyone to come to me, I'm not forcing anyone to talk to me. It's just and I believe that people come to me authentically and at the right timing of their life that I can help them. And the first thing I always ask is, well, what do you what do you want? What do you really? Who are you? And what do you want. Because once you drop your shoulders and take a deep breath, and you feel safe and hurt, because it's confidential, and I'm holding space for you, and such a place that you can just let it go. And often, I think of it is it's just like people just puke their whole life story. Because someone's listening. And someone's ready to hear their inner truth and their inner sorrows, their inner greatness. They're the lights. And that's what I see. And that's my fear. And that's how we connect, and they get the time to just let it all go and be who they want to be who they are authentically with no judgments, no advice. It's just a place in the moment to share who you are. And for many of us, we we don't get that. And it feels so enlightening when someone just listens. I have clients who say you're like my long best friends like the person that I just want to talk to each week because it's so, so wonderful. And that's truly a great feeling.

But my goal in all of this is to get you in a place where you love yourself again, and feel that you can move forward and grow recognize where you've been is where you don't have to stay. Recognize where you've been telling all these stories is not who you actually are. That's just what you've been telling yourself. And we get stuck in that we get in traps. And it takes time, man, does it ever take time. And it takes gratitude. And it takes journaling, and it takes all the things it takes investing in yourself to move from point A to point B, it takes time to walk up to the staircase and take that first step. And then you'll take two steps. And over time, you'll move up the staircase to this better version of yourself, and you'll feel really great. And does all your shit come up. 100% always, but it's at a place in life where you're ready to give yourself compassion and grace and understand you're an adult, and you don't want to stay in that anymore. That's old news. That's old stuff. So when we give yourself when you give yourself permission, what does it give you? To stay in that story. Because most of the time, you're getting something out of it. Staying in your story gives you some sort of comfort. And it's usually not a good comfort. What is the truth about who you are, and what you want to do, and what you want out of life, who you want to be as a man who you want to be as a spouse who you want to be as a business partner, an entrepreneur, a teacher, a nurse, who do you want to be? Who do you truly want to be? Where do those desires come from? Because we all have desires, and you just shut them down as we become adults and other things come up. If you say you don't know, your true, because you have been telling your own story for so long, I don't doubt that. It's hard to sift through the old files and really connect with that childlike person you were when you were so young, that person still exists. You've just bled all sorts of beliefs from other people, all sorts of life experiences and gather in your mind to form this new version of what you think you should be as off crap. When you let it all go, when you just think for yourself for just one moment and give yourself some space, are you happy with who you are? Do you like this person. And my goodness is taking me sticky notes. Like, I don't even know how many sticky notes over the years I've had posted on the mirror in the shower, to stretch to smile to. To journal, that's one tip that I had to get in a pattern and my husband just like, Oh, we got a new thing on the go again, right? Because this isn't his thing. Personal development is not his thing. It's my thing. I want to become the best version of me that I can even though I get in cycles, as well that I can't move forward. But it's me recognizing that I'm in a story that I need to shift. And when I start changing my story, he automatically joins the journey himself. And it's quite impressive how it naturally works. When you start growing and people want to grow. They'll come with you.

I have quite a few people who shift and move as I shift and move and when I get stuck, they seem to get stuck because there is still a leadership in, in your family, in your circle of friends that when you shift and move to goodness, they want to come with you. They don't want to be left behind. They like what you're doing. They like seeing how happy you are and what you're up to. It seems fun and great. And even though my husband's not a spiritual person doesn't believe in the synchronicities or law of attraction so much. And I have to really convince her Sean he entertains me and goes along with it and and when I can drive through all sorts of green lights down the street, and know that that I've created that. And that when he gets stuck in the same line always with red light after red light after red light. He creates that he doesn't see it that way. But it's all about synchronicities. Don't we can create an ally. So we create our stories we create our patterns and our surroundings. Don't help very much when we're in a place that we're not happy with in ourselves, or the work we're doing with the people that we're gathering around or the conversations that we're having a miserable company gives miserable advice. We don't want that we don't need that you need to let it go. Stop talking crap about other people. Don't stop coming home, talking about your neighbors with your husband. Stop talking to your kids about the mean people at school, flip that shit and tell them that they're wonderful human beings, that they're great human beings, they just don't align. We don't need to start these beliefs and such young kids shift it. That's where it starts. From a young age, we create our patterns and beliefs between the ages of six and 12. They're our parents and our caregivers and our teachers beliefs. So if we can open up the world to when we start as a kid to shifting as an adult, and then being open to our stories and how they're created, our children can hopefully have some guidance on how to recognize when they're in a story when they're in a slump, and move through it a little bit quicker. We want people to evolve. We want our kids to evolve faster than we do. We want the best for our family. And there's nothing greater when you see momentum. And you see happiness in someone's life. When you stop telling your old story on why you can't, a new story will start to come out. So if you're that person who says I'm a single mom, I can't. That's your story. I only meet men who meet their wives next. I'm that girl who's the last left behind. That's your story. We never have enough money. That's your story. I'm not smart enough to start a business. I'm not smart enough to go to school, I'm not smart enough to apply for a job. That's your story. Right? Meet yourself right where you are. You are an amazing person. You are a great single mom. And you're doing the best you can. You're showing independence, you're showing maturity, you're showing what it takes to be there for your family. If you're both working in your marriage, and you're paying your bills, you're both doing the best you can. So the key thing next is what do you want. Because if you don't know what you want, if you maybe you do want a partner to come into your life, maybe you do want a better job that makes more money. Maybe you do want, I don't know what it is you want. There's so many things that people want start a business. And that's a huge one, go back to school, start something new, some something that maybe you never got, because you had kids early on in life. Now it's time maybe you're ready to leave your old job that you've done for 20 years and do something completely different. These are the things that I talk about with men and women, it happens. You have to then have a clear vision, what it is you want, where do you want to go? That's the key. Recognize your story, identify your new vision. Because we may never have enough money, if that's the story, you keep telling yourself. But let me tell you, when you decide when you decide to invest in yourself to make a change to take a step forward.

In every person I've worked with the money comes. It's just a mindset shift. We get what we think about whether we want it or not. It's the law of attraction. Hands down. It's there's proof everywhere of this. And we ask. I asked I asked you, how do you get there, and you're not going to get there in 10 days from now. It's your journey you're setting yourself up for this is my new adventure. This is my journey. I am going to dabble in taking some courses. I worked with a mayor once for the community. And he just want to change so much. And to let that all go. Then he worked with me for four months. So he had clarity on what he wanted. For years after I had worked with him, I got a random message saying Krach I'm just I just want to congratulate you for all that you've done for me. Because I just graduated with from the University of I forget what he was taking was something to do with business and finance. So but I hadn't heard from him in all those years. And I get a random message saying that he move forward and that's Incredible. It's not, it doesn't happen immediately. From the moment you decide you want something different, it doesn't happen immediately. But you've got to recognize you're tired of your story. You're tired of looping in the same thoughts and crap and patterns. Your kids will learn so much from you by taking a chance your partner will stick with you. Because they know without a love that you want something better, and it's gonna be hard at first. But then you need to know your why is it for you? Is it for them? Is it to create a better future? I bet you it's all of them. Create your new vision, start telling the new story, start telling the new story that every Monday at six o'clock, I'm logging on to a class 7:30am Before everybody gets up, I'm jumping on with this call. Because this is what I'm going to learn everything you need to learn to start is is already available for you. You just got to wander in that seat. You have to live today. The past is the past. If you want to feel unstuck, you have to tell a new story. So what is the new story you want to be telling? I'd love to hear from you. Take care.