How to stop making excuses? EP:18

Hello, my friends and welcome. You're listening to soul inspired decisions, a podcast for ordinary moms living extraordinary lives. My intention with this podcast is to teach, motivate and inspire by sharing stories, tools and strategies to help you unlock your greatest fears, annoying habits and old stories and make a move towards the things that have been on your heart. If you have been a little lost, or in a funk, and want to reconnect with your purpose, your passion and feel empowered again, then this is the best place for you to be hanging out. My name is Carrie linkway. And I'm an ordinary mom making extraordinary decisions. This is me putting one foot in front of the other, moving towards my next goal, and hoping to inspire you along the way. Let's get started.

Welcome back to soul inspired decisions podcast. My name is Carrie linkway. And the weather here is changing quickly. It is cool, and it feels like it may want to snow and it's a little bit drizzling raining. It's a really fall ish feeling. Does that make sense? Anyway, thank you for joining me today, I actually have a question to start things off for you. So this is a question that will let you kind of know where you're at right now with the things that are on your mind. So my question for you today is, do you think it would be worth it to have a few doubters or to look stupid? Or to be seen? If silly? Let that sink in. Because it probably a lot of you are already thinking nope, nope. And nope. Do you think it'd be worth it to have a few doubters to look stupid, or to be seen as silly? If you were doing the thing that you left? Hmm, that switches things a little bit, hey, if you're doing the thing that you love, so you have something on your mind that you may be interested in doing starting getting back into. But you're worried that others might doubt you, you may look like you're stupid or silly. Which by the way, all of those are not true. Even I caught myself the other day, moving around the house doing all the things that I'm supposed to be doing. And I forgot one thing, and I just simply said, man, you're an idiot. Of course, in my head, I don't say this kind of stuff out loud. But we're all very hard on our own critic, critic, whereas we're our worst critic. And we're very hard on ourselves all the time. So if you woke up energized by what you were doing every day, would that be worth it? If you woke up and knew what you were meant to do? How many of you don't feel like you even know what to do right now? Would that be worth it? If everyone else thought you were slowing down, just taking some time off, trying to figure out things and join being a mom, maybe you're newly married, you're making up your home right now. Maybe you're just enjoying the quietness of being home with the world's circumstances. Wouldn't it be interesting that if everyone thought you were slowing down and taking some time, but you're actually moving towards the next chapter of your life, wouldn't it be worth it have those doubters or to me, be looked at as possibly stupid or silly or ridiculous. If you are moving towards the thing you want to move towards. Now, if you've never had that feeling of submerging yourself into something that you love, which I highly doubt, maybe you just have blocked it out or forgot about it, but there's been pieces of your life that you move towards very quickly, because you loved it so much. It's like collapsing time. And it feels so worth it. It feels so natural, and you just want more of that or want to get back to that. And then as life happens, and as we get more responsibilities and more, have more our kids and life and house and all the things then those ideas and thoughts and excitement we put on the backburner. We still want more as human beings we want more we desire more. So if you're saying yes to gosh, I would love to wake up every day feeling energized and I would love to just be doing the thing that lights me up. Then you're in the right spot because I want to walk you Why walk you through why possibly? You are not. And this seems to be 90% of people have one They are not living their best life. And then number one reason is simply their excuses. My excuses get me in the way of moving forward. Others around me I can tell their excuses and why they're not moving forward. If you ask someone at the grocery store how their day is, or what's going on, their excuses come up instantly. It's their story. Are you the person who is always making excuses? Or do you know someone who's always making excuses? Because typically, we can pull out someone's name instantly before we'll actually look at ourselves. That's easier to do, right? We always know how to live everybody else's lives. We always know what everybody else should be doing. But we don't take a look at ourselves. But when we do, and I'm asking you right now, what's your excuse? What's your story? Are you the person who's always making excuses? Maybe very simple.

So what's your why? What is the excuse on why you can't make more money? Why you can't achieve more? Why you can't go back to school right now. Why you can't get the support you need. Maybe why you can't find childcare right now. I can't do anything because the world circumstances right now. What's your excuse? What's the thing you bring up? Why someone talks about what we can't do comes up so naturally and easily. But when we look at ourselves on, what's our why we brush it under the carpet quite quickly, because we don't want to look at ourselves. Do you want your dreams to come true. And these dreams, these ideas, they're not anybody else's, but yours. You can move the needle ahead in your own life and make a difference in your own life. Our social Excuses, excuses are, what comes right down to it is that we are actually just terrified. We are not scared to start our dream. We are actually scared to be embarrassed by starting small. How can I be 40 years old and start over again? Start at the bottom? How can I leave my job and start something new? When I'm five years away from retirement? Why can I apply for that job? When I don't have any other qualifications? Well, why not? If you can get your foot in the door. That's the first start. If you want it, you'll talk your way through it. If you don't, it will show up very clearly in your voice, your actions, your movements, how you hold yourself, the research you've done behind it, it shows up instantly. are not scared to start your dream. Typically, we're just embarrassed to start small, we are embarrassed what others might say we are embarrassed to start over again. They're just meant shuts us down. If you think about that for a minute, if you were going to start something. What stopped you? Where did it come from? The embarrassment of playing small starting over family criticizing you? Where did it come from? You're not going to try this because you're scared of what someone else might think. Are you set some weird? So if you think about the thing that you want to do, does it sound ridiculous if I say out loud what it is on your mind that you're scared of doing? So that makes sense. When we're scared of something of what other people might say we stop because we're worried about being put down topping talked about what others might say what our spouse might say. But if we actually say it out loud the thing we want to do and why we're scared it's probably not true. And when we think of it as a yes or no question. I'm not scared. But I'm worried what my husband might think. Does that resonate? Yes or no? I'm not scared or worried. But I well maybe I'm worried about what my friends might say. simple yes or no? Question. Is this true for you? Yes or no? I'm not scared. But I'm worried what my mum might say. Or my dad might say that might hit home for quite a few of you. We take our parents opinions to heart. So much to the point that we may stop dreaming and fantasizing about the thing we want to do, how many people go to university go to college in one area and get there and they don't like it, but they're terrified to tell their parents. So some just move through the motions. And then they get out of graduate, but they never use a degree because they never actually wanted to, that's not the thing that they wanted to do. But they got their degree in that because that's what their parents wanted. What if you just had the conversation with your husband, or your mom or your dad or your friends, and then you went and did the thing you wanted to do, and you were lit right up, you had the degree that you want to do have the job that you want to do start at the business, you've always wanted to, because

it was never about them, it was just about the embarrassment you are worried about having. So you started small. So your kids see New Start small and struggle, they are learning from you. That's pretty cool. People are watching you and being inspired by you starting small and watching how you move forward through all the things why they're watching you is because most of the time, they're in awe that you're doing it. I wish I could do that. I wish I could be like that. And that's where it ends for most people. But if you move forward, if you take a chance, we're here for one shot at this life. Whatever your past routine has been the last four months, are you loving it? Or you're tired of it? You want something new? Ask yourself these questions. They're very simple. Yes, no questions. Are you happy? Yes or no? May not be happy. You may not be dissatisfied with your marriage or your family or your kids are in your house or anything. But internally, there's you just know that you're not living your purpose. You're not lit up every day, you have all the things. But you can still want more. That's how we get motivated to move towards new things, we can still want more. What we know is comfortable, right? We all know that. Have you tried before the thing that's on your mind? Only you know what it is the thing that's on your mind? Have you tried it before? Yes or No? If the answer is yes. Did you fail at it? Yes or No? If it was a yes. Here's the thing. Did you survive? Are you still here? And the answer is probably yes. If you're listening to this right now, because you're here. So my point is that you survived. And you learn really great lessons through that journey. And now you can take those lessons and move forward to the next journey and do it a little bit different and better. And if you haven't tried it, if the answer was no, you haven't ever tried it. So you don't honestly know how it would work out, then what's stopping you? And if the answer is no, you're just making an assumption. I'm making an assumption. And you're making an assumption that you would just feel uncomfortable moving forward, because it's the unknown. And so you probably won't move forward, especially if you love being comfortable. Yes or no. Here's your simple. Check in with yourself today. Let me ask you, if this stream is on your mind, and on your heart, is it worth having a few people think you're crazy. Because what happens when you decide that you're all in a moving towards it? Those people you saw would think you were crazy. They're actually your supporters. And you'll find new supporters come in. And the ones who do think you're crazy, as I say that lightly. They'll just fall off the wayside. They have no business in your life right now, then maybe back later. But right now on your new journey. You're lit up and you're attracting new people to help you move to your words your dream. Doesn't that sound exciting? Aren't you ready for a refresh? Let me tell you the dialogue in my head. It's pretty much dramatized overdramatized every time I'm in to do this but all the things all the fears pop up into my head. Do you do that? If this dream is worth having, and not the people thank you Crazy because they just won't stick around. Picture the first person that comes to your mind that you want their support. You know who it is? Will they support you? Yes or No? If the answer is yes, then the thoughts are just in your head. They're not true. They're just thoughts. There are fears. How will they think you're crazy? Because you're moving forward to the unknown, they'll probably be inspired by you. Yes, they may think the idea is stupid, because it's not their interest, stuff, their passion, it's not their thing. Right? If you have a partner in your life a spouse, if you have kids, you don't all like the same things you want you to plays with Lego one kid plays with Barbies. And that's okay. They're totally different, right? My husband likes tools, I could care less about any one of the tools in the shed, I can use them. I don't care about them. But I, it's his passion, not mine.

The boys, I just left them with my husband the other night, they wondered if dad knew how to cook pizza. It's not his passion to cook, they know that. So they think already is a joke, it's gonna be a really great joke as they get older, but it's not as interest. It's not as passionate, we all have our things. So wouldn't it be worth surviving? To know that you are making a difference every day in your own life, waking up every day feeling energized and inspired. To have this new momentum to move towards because it's fun, and it's exciting and exhausting, and, but everything starts to shift and move in the direction to support you. It just naturally happens because it's what you want. It's what you're dreaming up. It's what's your manifesting, essentially, things just automatically open up for you. And the more things open up, the more others around you see the opportunities that are coming your way and how happy you are and how it's working out for you. They are inspired to interact with you in those conversations. They're inspired, that you're moving towards your dreams that they want to chat with you about it. I know this feeling. I know this process. It's so much fun in it, it's stressful. All the unknowns, moving and navigating life, family, all the things work. It's still stressful, but it's still, you can still get up every day, because it's something you want to do. Problems don't seem that big, because you're still moving at the end of the day towards your goal, and you're gonna have bumps and you're gonna have roadblocks and you're gonna still have all the shit in life come up. But you're still focused on the thing that you want to pursue. And it's a really great feeling. It's an it's like this whole new journey to life? Is what you're after important to you? Yes or no? You know the answer that you just said it. Be honest with yourself. So how important is this to you? What are you really? What do you really want? And even better? Why do you want it? And that may be personal to just you. You don't have to share that with anybody, you can just do it. So if you had just admitted to yourself that it's important to you? Isn't it worth a little discomfort? Because discomfort is how we grow life rule 101? You'll never grow in your comfort zone. We know this. Have you ever judged someone before? Yes or no? Did they survive? Probably have you survived being judged? Yes, every day. So these are the questions that we can look at whether we are having fears. We're just simply worried about being embarrassed. And it's probably not true. So this is not about survival, because we know we'll survive. So the real question is, why do you want it? Because that's going to bring out your vision that's going to bring out your identity, you're gonna bring out your values, and all of a sudden your capabilities and your actions are gonna show up. Because you've just decided it's worth exploring is worth moving towards. And all of a sudden the energy in your body has shifted is changing. And you're probably feeling nervous and you're probably feeling scared. All the feelings come in. This is a natural process to moving towards the thing you want. And it's exciting. You'll be thriving again in a new way. You'll feel lit up you'll feel excited. Your kids will see you your family will see it. The people that you work with will will be drawn to you to inquire about it. And it's like your little secret of knowing You're moving towards something so unknown, but you love it. And there will be jealousy from others around you. Because they're not jealous to be mean. They're jealous because they wish they could do it. That's simply all it is. If your husband supports you, that's really all you need. If your mom supports you, maybe that's all you need. If your kids are behind you, 100% That's probably all you need. Support is important. Yes. They don't have to understand they don't have to like it. They don't have to do it. But they will see you lit up. My adventures light me up. My husband says all the time to my kids, if it wasn't for your mom, we'd stay home all the time, because it's not his thing. Adventure is not his thing. He's very comfortable at home, he is very much a homebody, I'm the adventurous person. I'll pack up all the gear,