“IS YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE?” How is your mental wellness? It’s time to RETRAIN YOUR BRAIN. In Episode 55 of the Shining Brightly Podcast Show (links in the comments) titled, TURNING TRIALS INTO TRIUMPHS. My special guest is Tim Mabry a first responder fire fighter who was trained to run toward fire to save lives. He shares how his personal struggles, depression and negative beliefs had him considering taking his own life and committing suicide. Tim focused on the now with gratitude and conquering his demons by admitting he had a problem and got help. Now as an inspirational speaker and corporate trainer Tim shares his wisdom and leaders guide to help you GET BACK UP AGAIN in business and life. TIM AND ALL FIRST RESPONDERS THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. Come listen, download, share and review this powerful
episode.
Mentioned Resources –
https://www.linkedin.com/in/tmabryspeaker/
https://www.facebook.com/tnmabry
Free guide can be downloaded at
https://lead-fire.com/leadersguide
About the guest -
Timothy Mabry is a seasoned speaker and corporate leadership trainer with a unique blend of real-world experience and actionable insights. With over a decade in the fire service, culminating as a Lieutenant, Timothy knows what it takes to lead under pressure and drive organizational excellence. His Lead Through Fire Program goes beyond superficial fixes, diving deep into the root causes of ineffective leadership to offer sustainable solutions that reduce turnover and elevate performance. A sought-after keynote speaker, Timothy has graced the stages of major events like UNICON 2023 in Salt Lake City and Million Dollar Mingle in Arizona. He's also been a featured expert at two Speaker School Masterminds, one in Chicago and the other in New York, sharing his transformative leadership strategies with aspiring speakers and corporate leaders. His compelling topics and engaging delivery make him the go-to speaker for organizations that are serious about breaking through to the next level of excellence. Don't miss the opportunity to bring transformative leadership to your organization. Book Timothy Mabry today and set your team on a course for unparalleled success.
About the Host:
Howard Brown is a best-selling author, award-winning international speaker, Silicon Valley entrepreneur, interfaith peacemaker, and a two-time stage IV cancer survivor. He is also a sought-after speaker and consultant for corporate businesses, nonprofits, congregations, and community groups. Howard has co-founded two social networks that were the first to connect religious communities around the world. He is a nationally known patient advocate and “cancer whisperer” to many families. Howard, his wife Lisa, and daughter Emily currently reside in Michigan, and his happy place is on the basketball court.
Website
Http://www.shiningbrightly.com
Social Media
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/howard.brown.36
LinkedIn - https://wwwlinkedin.com/in/howardsbrown
Instagram - @howard.brown.36
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#thankyou #service #firefighters #firstresponders #mentalhealth #suicide #speaker #unstuck #corporate #buisness #coaching #leadership #healthcare #gratitidue #happiness #motivation #education #inspiration #podcast #download #listen #share #shiningbrightly
Hello, it's Howard Brown is the shine shining
Howard Brown:brightly podcast show. Oh my god after Thanksgiving, we are
Howard Brown:grateful. It's it's just amazing. I have an amazing guest
Howard Brown:as usual. Tim, welcome to the show. How are you?
Timothy Mabry:I'm doing fantastic, Howard. Thank you for
Timothy Mabry:having me on this show.
Howard Brown:Oh, it's it's great. You're, we're we're going
Howard Brown:to, as you say you're wearing your T shirt for those listening
Howard Brown:lead through fire. So, this is a episode called Turning trials
Howard Brown:into triumphs. And let me let me tell you a little bit about
Howard Brown:about Tim. Tim Avery is a seasoned speaker, corporate
Howard Brown:leadership trainer with a unique blend of real world experience
Howard Brown:and actionable insights with over a decade in the fire
Howard Brown:service. By the way, thank you for your service as a first
Howard Brown:responder, you guys are real heroes. And really, it's just
Howard Brown:amazing that the training and and that dedication. So in the
Howard Brown:fire service, you comment culminated as a lieutenant and
Howard Brown:you know what it takes to lead under pressure and and drive
Howard Brown:organisational excellence. You lead through the fire programme
Howard Brown:goes beyond superficial fixes. It takes a deep dive into the
Howard Brown:root cause of ineffective leadership to offer sustainable
Howard Brown:solutions and reduce turnover and elevate performance in the
Howard Brown:corporate setting. A sought after keynote speaker Tim has
Howard Brown:graced the stages of major events like unicorn to 2023 in
Howard Brown:Salt Lake and the million dollar Mingo. In Arizona. We talked
Howard Brown:about that. That was cool. He has been featured as an expert
Howard Brown:at two speaker school masterminds, one in Chicago, the
Howard Brown:other in New York. And you're sharing transforming leadership
Howard Brown:strategies with aspiring speakers and other corporate
Howard Brown:leaders. Your compelling topics and engaging delivery make you
Howard Brown:go to speaker for organisations, corporations, businesses that
Howard Brown:are serious about breakthrough to the next level of excellence.
Howard Brown:Don't miss this opportunity to bring transform leadership to
Howard Brown:your organisation. Book, Tim today will put his contacts in
Howard Brown:Oh, he'll talk about that at the end. And then you can also visit
Howard Brown:his website at • https://lead-fire.com/.
Howard Brown:Welcome, welcome. Welcome. I'm excited to get into it. But
Howard Brown:first, tell me about something we may not know about you that
Howard Brown:you want to share with the listening and the viewing
Howard Brown:audience.
Timothy Mabry:Most definitely. So one unique thing about me is
Timothy Mabry:I love being outdoors. It doesn't really matter what it
Timothy Mabry:what it looks like to be outside, whether it's hiking,
Timothy Mabry:camping, fishing, flying, I just like to be outside. And when I
Timothy Mabry:say flying, yes, I can fly a plane having my private pilot's
Timothy Mabry:licence. So the sky, the ground, below the water, whatever it is,
Timothy Mabry:I just like to be outside in nature. There's something to me,
Timothy Mabry:that healing and relaxing about just being outside and
Timothy Mabry:connecting back to our roots.
Howard Brown:I love that I speak in my book about finding
Howard Brown:your happy place. And I don't care if it's cooking,
Howard Brown:meditation, art, music, outdoor nature hiking, it sounds like
Howard Brown:you're happy places, the outdoors, mines, the basketball
Howard Brown:court, you have to find that stress free zone go there as
Howard Brown:much as you can. So I love that thank you for sharing as well.
Howard Brown:But you had to overcome some a bunch of stuff here, Tim. So
Howard Brown:let's dig dig right in. Tell me a little bit about your personal
Howard Brown:crisis. And that how that led to your own leadership, your own
Howard Brown:self development, your own transformation.
Timothy Mabry:Most definitely to the person I am today that
Timothy Mabry:you see before you or your hearing is not the same person I
Timothy Mabry:was the past year, year and a half. I've gone through a lot of
Timothy Mabry:trials and tribulations in my lifetime. And I'm just going to
Timothy Mabry:give a brief overview of them. Because what I really want to
Timothy Mabry:focus on is not the problems, but the solutions. But for me to
Timothy Mabry:talk about the solutions, you need to understand where I came
Timothy Mabry:from what it happened. So growing up, I grew up in a very
Timothy Mabry:sheltered home. My parents would monitor and control every little
Timothy Mabry:thing that we did. And we watched him listen to and I was
Timothy Mabry:overactive hyper kid on ADHD medication. I was high as a kite
Timothy Mabry:most of my childhood. I call it high as a kite because I didn't
Timothy Mabry:really understand what of what it was. Now as an adult, like
Timothy Mabry:Oh, I get it. It's that dreamlike state of existing in
Timothy Mabry:the real world. So I was sheltered medicated. Then I got
Timothy Mabry:into the real world. I got into the Navy because I wanted to
Timothy Mabry:serve. I want to help other people. I went through some
Timothy Mabry:pretty messed up things in the Navy, and I was in for less than
Timothy Mabry:two years because I spoke out against a really horrible
Timothy Mabry:situation. And that affected my mental health. The Navy I was
Timothy Mabry:discharged let some two years as I mentioned before, just hey,
Timothy Mabry:you're out, go figure it out. So the trauma that I had in the
Timothy Mabry:Navy, it culminated, I brought it with me into the fire
Timothy Mabry:service. So yeah, I got into the fire service because I watched
Timothy Mabry:my neighbour die in a house fire. When I was in sixth grade,
Timothy Mabry:I just remember that moment of feeling hopeless and lost. I
Timothy Mabry:wanted to serve people I was, I wanted to make sure that nobody
Timothy Mabry:felt that same way that I myself to rise above. So I joined the
Timothy Mabry:fire service straight out of the Navy. I spent nine years
Timothy Mabry:learning how to be a fireman how to be a leader, how to charge
Timothy Mabry:into situations that most people were running back. So as most
Timothy Mabry:people are running away, we charged it. And then I taught
Timothy Mabry:other people how to do that, how to riots how to overcome. But
Timothy Mabry:the one thing that I never got taught in any of my journey, was
Timothy Mabry:how to deal with the fires in my mind. See, seeing all the
Timothy Mabry:trauma, the death, the hurt, and the pain associated with the
Timothy Mabry:life of a first responder, and military is heavily taxing. The
Timothy Mabry:I call it like Superman effects. Superman is big, and he's
Timothy Mabry:strong, everyone on the outside, he can handle everything. And
Timothy Mabry:he's bulletproof. But what about his mind? What about the battle
Timothy Mabry:that goes on in his mind? The I didn't know those tools and
Timothy Mabry:strategies. So I ended up getting severely depressed, not
Timothy Mabry:caring about myself, not caring about other people. And I sought
Timothy Mabry:to end it all. And I actually did, I tried to end it all, I
Timothy Mabry:started to take my own life. With my wife, who was nine
Timothy Mabry:months pregnant in the room next door, she had no idea what was
Timothy Mabry:happening, because I concealed the struggle on the trauma so
Timothy Mabry:well, that on the outside, everything looks fine, except
Timothy Mabry:the subtle warning signs that were there. And it was out of
Timothy Mabry:that in that moment, I decided, You know what, I'm not going to
Timothy Mabry:do this again. What happened? How did I get from being happy,
Timothy Mabry:loving my life, and my job to suddenly hating all of it. And
Timothy Mabry:that's where the rise came out is a pure dedication to say I'm
Timothy Mabry:tired of this, let me figure out how to rise and overcome. And
Timothy Mabry:let me teach other people, because I don't like that
Timothy Mabry:feeling
Howard Brown:So Tim, I just want to take just a moment here,
Howard Brown:and just honour this space that you had a child on the way you
Howard Brown:had a loving wife. But the demons you are facing inside,
Howard Brown:from what you went through and saw in the military, leading to
Howard Brown:the you know, your your fire training and running in and not
Howard Brown:away from fires. You work you're conducting an outside life. But
Howard Brown:inside it was it was eating you up enough that you would
Howard Brown:consider of taking your life. And so I will put this in the
Howard Brown:show notes I want I'm going to put the suicide prevention
Howard Brown:hotline and information in the show notes. And in this in
Howard Brown:social media. I know that coming out of COVID loneliness and
Howard Brown:depression has led people to think about taking their lives.
Howard Brown:And I'm glad you're here. And I don't say this lightly. I'm glad
Howard Brown:that you're you're teaching people not to do that to move
Howard Brown:away from that to get out of that darkness. Because that's
Howard Brown:what my book is about. Listen, committing suicide, having stage
Howard Brown:four cancer, there are two different things, but there's
Howard Brown:darkness, you can learn from that darkness, but you can't
Howard Brown:have it consume you. And so please continue. I just needed
Howard Brown:to stop you right there. Because I'm feeling it I'm feeling kind
Howard Brown:of that internal struggle that you had to, you know, overcome.
Howard Brown:For the sake of yourself first, and also a beautiful, you know,
Howard Brown:child on the way you one you have one daughter and then one
Howard Brown:on the way plus a wife and a family and a life. So take us
Howard Brown:take us kind of some lessons there. And I just want to stop
Howard Brown:and say that I'm so glad that you didn't actually take your
Howard Brown:own life and you're here to now teach others.
Timothy Mabry:I'm glad to that the biggest thing that I've
Timothy Mabry:noticed, and I found on my journey is the secret to
Timothy Mabry:happiness. They people always ask, what's the true secret to
Timothy Mabry:happiness? How do you live an abundant life and it comes back
Timothy Mabry:to gratitude. Gratitude is the secret and the key to happiness.
Timothy Mabry:Because by focusing on the things you're grateful for, you
Timothy Mabry:start to see a different perspective. The The reason and
Timothy Mabry:how I got to where I was, but because I was so focused on the
Timothy Mabry:past and the future that I wasn't paying attention You know
Timothy Mabry:what I had in front of me, I wasn't paying attention, that I
Timothy Mabry:had a loving wife, I had a daughter on the way I had a
Timothy Mabry:career that I absolutely loved. I was focusing on so many bad
Timothy Mabry:things and the demons in my head, that they started to run
Timothy Mabry:the show. And I started to retrain my brain of, you know,
Timothy Mabry:what, let me actually say, I'm thankful, I'm grateful for my
Timothy Mabry:wife, I'm grateful that I woke up today, I'm grateful I have a
Timothy Mabry:job. And it was those subtle shifts that I started to believe
Timothy Mabry:there's more to live. And, and the VA therapy is called
Timothy Mabry:Cognitive Processing Therapy, CPT. If you're a veteran, and
Timothy Mabry:you've been through the VA Health System, or mental health,
Timothy Mabry:you might know what this means. But if you don't, I'll explain
Timothy Mabry:it. CPT, it has one big lesson. And it's called stuck points.
Timothy Mabry:Stuck points are negative beliefs, thoughts, or behaviours
Timothy Mabry:that you have about yourself or other people that hold you back.
Timothy Mabry:And I had about 15 of those stuck points that I was able to
Timothy Mabry:write down. Five to 10 of them, were the most prevalent, and
Timothy Mabry:those were, I was on a constant repeat in my brain. And that was
Timothy Mabry:holding me back because I'm not good enough. I'm a loser, I have
Timothy Mabry:no value to add, oh, God, why me. And in the training, and
Timothy Mabry:I've created this in my programme, to reshape it a
Timothy Mabry:little bit to be more refined. And I talked about not only how
Timothy Mabry:to identify what a stuck point is, but to retrain it, like to
Timothy Mabry:evaluate, alright, this is what it is. This is that the
Timothy Mabry:behaviour This is the emotion, this is the feeling. This is
Timothy Mabry:what triggers it. And then how to retrain your brain. To where
Timothy Mabry:when you have those negative beliefs, like, Oh, God, why me?
Timothy Mabry:You know what, why not me? Why not me being blessed today? I'm
Timothy Mabry:not worth dying, I'm worthless. You know what I let this car in,
Timothy Mabry:on the merge Lane today, I opened this door for this lady,
Timothy Mabry:you know, what I am adding value, it doesn't have to be
Timothy Mabry:this big monumental thing that I thought was us might think it's
Timothy Mabry:the subtle things that build to be bigger and happier.
Howard Brown:Wow. I mean, you're I love that because it
Howard Brown:doesn't have to be you don't you know, in order to climb the
Howard Brown:mountain, you got to take the first few steps. So that that's
Howard Brown:a that's a really great exercise to be able to put down your
Howard Brown:stock points and, and have them written down and look at the
Howard Brown:prioritise them. Really great exercise, Nate, thank you for
Howard Brown:sharing that. So you're, you're taking that now, and you're
Howard Brown:taking your own experience. And you're taking that to
Howard Brown:corporations and to employee engagement type of programmes.
Howard Brown:Tell us about where that is and how that's going.
Timothy Mabry:And most definitely, it's going great.
Timothy Mabry:And what I do for a company specifically, is I start
Timothy Mabry:identifying what is going on in that organisation? Do the
Timothy Mabry:companies that I target, they have high turnover rates. And
Timothy Mabry:high turnover is typically one of two things. It's either bad
Timothy Mabry:benefits, or a bad culture, bad culture equates to bad
Timothy Mabry:leadership, and unengaged employees. So what I do is I
Timothy Mabry:actually send out a survey to the company, and the employee
Timothy Mabry:has figured out, hey, what's the problem? In your opinion? What
Timothy Mabry:is the issue going on here. And then I give the leadership team,
Timothy Mabry:a DISC assessment, to figure out how they operate, and how some
Timothy Mabry:of their employees and high level management operate as
Timothy Mabry:well. Because sometimes if there's a disconnect between
Timothy Mabry:upper and lower management, it throws everything off. And I saw
Timothy Mabry:that in the fire service. Where I got this from was several fire
Timothy Mabry:scenes. I'm gonna give you a quick example on that. One day,
Timothy Mabry:we had a house fire. It was a routine fire. We were second to
Timothy Mabry:third in engine first in normally gets all the glory, and
Timothy Mabry:they have to make decisions. So we're all the way to this fire.
Timothy Mabry:And the first arriving crew didn't really know what they
Timothy Mabry:were doing. You could hear the lieutenant's voice on the radio.
Timothy Mabry:He was lost. He was confused and he was wishy washy. He was not
Timothy Mabry:certain on himself, which translated to whenever every
Timothy Mabry:other truck came in. Things were going to hell people didn't know
Timothy Mabry:what to do, like, Hey, what are we doing? Ah, I don't know.
Timothy Mabry:Finally, someone had a chief got there, stepped in and said no,
Timothy Mabry:this is what we're going to do. This is how we're going to do
Timothy Mabry:it. and sort of mitigate the situation better. See, when it
Timothy Mabry:comes to employees and culture and leaders, the leader has to
Timothy Mabry:be decisive in certain moments, but also know when to take that
Timothy Mabry:step back. Even if your strategies aren't working, you
Timothy Mabry:got to be bold on it. Let me call somebody in, let's
Timothy Mabry:reevaluate this. And it's taking that mentality and presence into
Timothy Mabry:corporate world. Because a lot of people, when they promote,
Timothy Mabry:they promote and look for themselves, they don't look for
Timothy Mabry:other people or consider others. And that's a unique trick of,
Timothy Mabry:hey, you know, it's not weak, asking for help, it's actually a
Timothy Mabry:major strength to say, I don't have all the answers. Let me
Timothy Mabry:take a step back, and let me find it. And that's what I
Timothy Mabry:helped teach leaders do and organisations and say, let me
Timothy Mabry:take a step back. And it's okay, and we're gonna, we're gonna
Timothy Mabry:reevaluate this.
Howard Brown:And that I love that strategy, the story of the
Howard Brown:chief, you know, who had maybe a little more training, a little
Howard Brown:more wisdom, a little more experience to come in and
Howard Brown:rectify that situation. I liked that story. And also the
Howard Brown:ability, you know, as your perspective, from the outside
Howard Brown:looking in, makes you hopefully more objective, as well, and do
Howard Brown:that. I play team sports all my life, Tim, and I will tell you,
Howard Brown:I've been a point guard on the basketball court, which is the
Howard Brown:floor general or the quarterback, trying to make
Howard Brown:decisions coach on the floor. And, you know, I played on lots
Howard Brown:of teams, and the culture matters. Trust matters, right.
Howard Brown:And so it's hard to change that, like, in a day, it has to be
Howard Brown:built up over time, it has to be earned. So that's, that's some
Howard Brown:of the lessons. But I guess you're going into a fire, you
Howard Brown:got to know that the partner and the team that you're running
Howard Brown:into has your back, they're all going to do their jobs in order
Howard Brown:to get that fire out, get the people to safety, assess the
Howard Brown:situation properly. So So I love that your experience of
Howard Brown:assessing that because if the team doesn't, doesn't do their
Howard Brown:job in a fire, the place burns down lives can be lost. Also,
Howard Brown:your own team can get hurt, right? You get yourself into
Howard Brown:real danger. So I've never been a firefighter. But in talking to
Howard Brown:you, I'm learning and understanding a little bit more.
Howard Brown:And so do your strategies work across the board? Or do you
Howard Brown:actually tailor them for like different industries or things
Howard Brown:like that,
Timothy Mabry:they can work across the board. And I just
Timothy Mabry:tailor them a little bit per the person per the organisation, the
Timothy Mabry:I can go into a fire department, or a military or veteran run
Timothy Mabry:organisation, local governments. And I can be a little bit brash,
Timothy Mabry:I can say you're screwing up here and X, Y, and Z and use
Timothy Mabry:curse words, I go into the civilian sector, I had to be a
Timothy Mabry:little bit careful of what I say and how I say it just because
Timothy Mabry:the culture first responders, veterans, the culture is a
Timothy Mabry:little more brash, if you come at them, Hey, sweetheart, gotta
Timothy Mabry:be careful, we're gonna be like, No, I'm not gonna listen to you.
Timothy Mabry:You have to find that nice gap in how to interact with people
Timothy Mabry:that was great about the DISC assessment, and you start to see
Timothy Mabry:how to interact, building that report, as well. It's the
Timothy Mabry:language, a unique trick and hack that I learned, that's
Timothy Mabry:extremely valuable. I learned this on a private jet flight. If
Timothy Mabry:you're trying to get into a new industry, or get a better
Timothy Mabry:client, learn exactly what that person talks like those people
Timothy Mabry:behave, and you start mimicking it. Because by doing that,
Timothy Mabry:you're going to be able to adapt what they're saying. And they're
Timothy Mabry:going to be comfortable with you. And they're not going to
Timothy Mabry:ask as many questions because if you sound like an expert, they
Timothy Mabry:don't, they won't have too many questions for it. They'll just
Timothy Mabry:accept it. Or the moment they see that you're wishy washy,
Timothy Mabry:you're not certain of yourself and what you're saying, that's
Timothy Mabry:when they're going to poke and prod. And that's where it goes
Timothy Mabry:for bigger leaders as higher up as well. They sense that as as,
Timothy Mabry:as well. So if you're trying to advance, you're trying to get a
Timothy Mabry:better client. learn exactly what how that person takes how
Timothy Mabry:the industry behaves, and you'll be able to adapt to it. And
Timothy Mabry:that's what I do is I watch and learn from the company that I'm
Timothy Mabry:about to get into and the people and figure out how to best
Timothy Mabry:interact with them. And that's how I tailor No,
Howard Brown:I love it. I also like the disc system. It's tried
Howard Brown:and true to know who you are. I actually did something similar.
Howard Brown:Tim it was it was actually the bird exercise. And it's what
Howard Brown:type of bird Are you? Are you the eagle or hawk or are you the
Howard Brown:owl or are you the dove or are you the peacock to create it
Howard Brown:right and how you got to define who you are. And you could be
Howard Brown:more than one bird? And how do you see the other bird? How do
Howard Brown:you get along? So how does the hawk or the eagle get along with
Howard Brown:the dove and get along with the owl, because this is all
Howard Brown:Organisational Behaviour. This is this is working individually
Howard Brown:pulling your own weight, but also being a team player. So I
Howard Brown:that's that's kind of that your story reminded me of that. I
Howard Brown:wanted to share that. So tell me about some misconceptions about
Howard Brown:leadership in a time of crisis, and how you address those in
Howard Brown:your training. Because, I guess, first responders in the military
Howard Brown:crisis, you're running into a fire that is a time of crisis.
Howard Brown:You know, what are some of the misconceptions there share with
Howard Brown:me?
Timothy Mabry:Definitely. So one big misconception that
Timothy Mabry:people don't realise is that it's not always easy to make
Timothy Mabry:those decisions. Earlier, or like a year ago, this month, we
Timothy Mabry:had a call to where it was a hazmat situation, we didn't
Timothy Mabry:really know the hazmat. So we went in to this chemical
Timothy Mabry:warehouse. And it was either smoke or steam. We didn't know
Timothy Mabry:what it were chemical release, we didn't know what it was. So
Timothy Mabry:we had to go back go in there. We ended up having a scare where
Timothy Mabry:compressors shot off. And my crew and I thought we were
Timothy Mabry:gonna, like we thought we're gonna die. Like, we literally
Timothy Mabry:just looked at each other. And we're like, Oh, my God, what
Timothy Mabry:happened? So we come back out. And my chief gets there, he's
Timothy Mabry:assessing the situation, conditions are getting worse,
Timothy Mabry:like, I still don't know what's happening. And this is a man
Timothy Mabry:I've never seen frazzled before in my life. I'd seen him on a
Timothy Mabry:lot of messed up calls. And he has never once been afraid,
Timothy Mabry:except in this moment. But he had to make a tough decision to
Timothy Mabry:send this back in to assess it, I had to be able to lead my a
Timothy Mabry:new crew who had never met in my life, into this chemical storage
Timothy Mabry:warehouse to see is this a buyer? Or is this still a hazmat
Timothy Mabry:released, we didn't know from our first entry, because we got
Timothy Mabry:scared like, something's not right. So we went back in, and a
Timothy Mabry:different type of suit. But it's okay to show a little bit of
Timothy Mabry:weakness and those moments or concern, because then that
Timothy Mabry:relates to your people, you're human, and building rapport.
Timothy Mabry:That's a major thing. I didn't realise that until after this
Timothy Mabry:call, that when you're actually vulnerable, and you start to
Timothy Mabry:show your human side, people find you more approachable. And
Timothy Mabry:so in times of crisis, you have to be that strong pillar to say,
Timothy Mabry:You know what, we're going to rise up together, I got you. But
Timothy Mabry:after the call, after the situation, you can open up and
Timothy Mabry:say, This is my thoughts. This is your thoughts, let's, this is
Timothy Mabry:what happened, let's actually divulge this. And to bring it
Timothy Mabry:back to the humaneness by doing that. And you're able to build a
Timothy Mabry:greater strength with your crew, with your team and showing that
Timothy Mabry:vulnerability. And that's one big misconception that you must
Timothy Mabry:be strong. The other thing too, is, yeah, you have to be
Timothy Mabry:decisive. Because in that moment, why is that my chief, he
Timothy Mabry:showed weakness, a little bit of being afraid. That's a good
Timothy Mabry:thing, but also a bad thing. See, for me, it got me
Timothy Mabry:concerned, because I knew he had never done that before. And I
Timothy Mabry:actually told my wife goodbye. I sent her a text saying, Hey, I
Timothy Mabry:may not make it out of this. So I'm going to say goodbye. And
Timothy Mabry:there's a pro and con to that. It's Yes, you have to show
Timothy Mabry:strength. But if you show weakness at the or, yeah,
Timothy Mabry:weakness or afraid of the wrong points, it can cause a negative
Timothy Mabry:effects. And being the leader who hears that or sees it, they
Timothy Mabry:had to be able to be strong to say their team may not see it.
Timothy Mabry:And that's what I had to do.
Howard Brown:Yeah, I it's a really poignant story, because
Howard Brown:your chief is human. He's trying to make the best decision, he
Howard Brown:can at that time with the information that he had. And so
Howard Brown:the ability he doesn't want to put more lives at stake, but he
Howard Brown:also needs to get that fire under control, and he needed
Howard Brown:more information. And so I can totally understand that, you
Howard Brown:know, when you're under the fire under that gun, you know, make
Howard Brown:those split second decisions matter. But, you know, you can't
Howard Brown:be afraid of being wrong either. You have to actually go with
Howard Brown:your training, you have to make the best decision and he sent
Howard Brown:you guys back in and you got sent back in not knowing what
Howard Brown:the outcome was. So that's why you sent your your wife a text
Howard Brown:and and that's that's one It's bravery and two, you're doing
Howard Brown:your job, but you didn't know the outcome, you did not know
Howard Brown:the outcome. And I will tell you, the only thing I can relate
Howard Brown:to that is that when you get told you have stage four, cancer
Howard Brown:twice, you don't know if you're going to, you know, live through
Howard Brown:it or not. And here I am, you know, breathing and I made
Howard Brown:through it, you made it through. So we're sharing our, our
Howard Brown:stories, that's where we're aligned here and, and able to
Howard Brown:help people that get knocked down, help them get back up
Howard Brown:again. I mean, I can't imagine those new guys that you let in
Howard Brown:what the after meeting was like, I mean, some of them probably in
Howard Brown:tears, some of them, just stunned. Some of them. I can't
Howard Brown:imagine when you when you regrouped with the team that you
Howard Brown:lead in there. So maybe that's a story for another time. But the
Howard Brown:I just, I want you to tell me through, you know, and guide our
Howard Brown:audience here on kind of how to take that first step. Because
Howard Brown:that's really, you know, if you don't take the first step, you
Howard Brown:you stay stuck. So how do you how do you how do you how do you
Howard Brown:tell people and when you get into your training, and your
Howard Brown:speaking, how do you have them take that first step,
Timothy Mabry:the first step to any problem is identifying and
Timothy Mabry:saying you have a problem. I met a gentleman who was buying at a
Timothy Mabry:company. And they're all reason he was buying out the company is
Timothy Mabry:because the owner, three years prior had an issue and he didn't
Timothy Mabry:speak up with it at all. So he let it bother him so much. And
Timothy Mabry:in fact, his company so bad that he ended up having to sell his
Timothy Mabry:company to save the employees. So the first step is admit you
Timothy Mabry:have a problem. The second step is to get help, you may not be
Timothy Mabry:able to do it yourself, hell, or heck, most of the time, you can
Timothy Mabry:do it on your own, we're not supposed to do it on our own.
Timothy Mabry:That's why I believe in God, believe in friendship, you need
Timothy Mabry:somebody to help pull you out and pull you up. That's why it's
Timothy Mabry:leaf through fire. Because I help you lead through the fire
Timothy Mabry:of your life, your business, your finances, so that you're in
Timothy Mabry:a happier, healthier state. And it may not be me, it may be your
Timothy Mabry:best friend and maybe a co worker, but somebody out there
Timothy Mabry:truly cares. If you don't have somebody reach out a call there,
Timothy Mabry:I guarantee if you're at that point where you're desperate.
Timothy Mabry:There's numbers a suicide hotline, but Cohen military
Timothy Mabry:centre, the VA for veterans, there's resources out there that
Timothy Mabry:if you really don't know how to move forward, they're able to
Timothy Mabry:help you.
Howard Brown:I'll ask them you and I are a wealth of
Howard Brown:information, we can help them find help as well. So in any
Howard Brown:area, whether it's corporate or how, or personal or family, you
Howard Brown:and I can get them we can we can direct them to help help as well
Howard Brown:or not help I can help them themselves. So this is really
Howard Brown:been really great and very special. I want to transition
Howard Brown:now we're gonna put on our sunglasses here. For those that
Howard Brown:are listening. Alright, Tim's got his shades on he's looking
Howard Brown:really cool. To get his lead through fire t shirt, I've got
Howard Brown:my book and in the sun shining on me, and we've got our
Howard Brown:sunglasses on. This is the shining, brightly spotlight,
Howard Brown:please tell people how best to get a hold of you, you've got a
Howard Brown:free gift. And then lead us with a story or some inspiration to
Howard Brown:close out the show.
Timothy Mabry:Most definitely. So you can contact me on my
Timothy Mabry:website, lead dash feiyr.com. And there, I have all of my
Timothy Mabry:contact information a way to get a hold of me, if you want to
Timothy Mabry:book me for speaking gigs and events, podcast in person, or
Timothy Mabry:even for your corporate needs. Timothy mabry.com, you can even
Timothy Mabry:directly get my cell phone number from that website. And
Timothy Mabry:I'm here to serve and to help as many people the big thing that I
Timothy Mabry:want to leave you with today is that you're never alone, that
Timothy Mabry:your journey starts with you taking that first step, you can
Timothy Mabry:always change your circumstances no matter what. And if you need
Timothy Mabry:a free resource to help you get started being a better leader to
Timothy Mabry:have engaging conversations that you need to have other people
Timothy Mabry:that build that report. I have a free guide that you'll find
Timothy Mabry:inside lead dash feiyr.com/leaders guide. And
Timothy Mabry:right there, you can download it and that'll help you along your
Timothy Mabry:journey. Because you got this you can overcome if I can do it.
Timothy Mabry:You can too. I look forward to being the change and affecting 1
Timothy Mabry:million leaders by 2028 with y'all. Wow.
Howard Brown:Oh man, I'm on the team. Sign me up. This is
Howard Brown:amazing. So, Tim, I'll have all your information inside the show
Howard Brown:notes and on social media, but that free guide is lead hyphen
Howard Brown:feiyr.com Leaders Guide you can download that actually right
Howard Brown:now. So if your house is on fire or your head is on fire We can
Howard Brown:help and Tim can help. This is really important to ask for
Howard Brown:help. I love that is to admit the problem, get some help. So
Howard Brown:this has been an amazing show, the shining, brightly podcast.
Howard Brown:I'm your host and Maestro of the mike Howard Brown, you can reach
Howard Brown:me at shining brightly.com Check out my book. It's my memoir. It
Howard Brown:starts with kindness and gratitude, it ends with hope.
Howard Brown:And my speaking information as well on the website, as well as
Howard Brown:this podcast, and my advocacy in the entrepreneurial world, in
Howard Brown:the corporate world, in the cancer world and in the
Howard Brown:interfaith world. So Tim, here's this is really an amazing thing
Howard Brown:that we're so similar is that we all get knocked down, you've
Howard Brown:been knocked down, I've been knocked down. But we've now got
Howard Brown:back up again, and we've chosen to lift up others. So it's easy
Howard Brown:choice to shine brightly each day for ourselves, for others
Howard Brown:for our communities, the world will be a better place. Thank
Howard Brown:you, Tim. Great, great show and I wish you all the best and
Howard Brown:thank you again for your service.
Timothy Mabry:And thank you for having me however, I'm really
Timothy Mabry:appreciate for having this opportunity and being on your
Timothy Mabry:show.
Howard Brown:My pleasure.