July 26, 2023

The Tao of Self-Confidence With Sheena Yap Chan

The Tao of Self-Confidence With Sheena Yap Chan

Episode Summary – YOU ARE NOT ALONE! In this important Episode 37 of the Shining Brightly Podcast Show we learn how Sheena Yap Chan, best-selling author of the TAO of SELF-CONFIDNCE, KEYNOTE speaker, inspirational podcaster and women’s advocate uses her voice to help others embrace their history, culture and find their self-confidence to break stereotypes, myths and old bias toward women and Asian women.  Come listen, learn and share this incredible show to appreciate the ability to lift up yourself and then lift up others to help them Shine Brightly with confidence every day! Take the Self-confidence

Quiz - https://www.sheenayapchan.com/quiz

Mentioned Resources

Website: https://sheenayapchan.com

Amazon: https://www.sheenayapchan.com/thetaoofselfconfidence

Podcast: https://www.sheenayapchan.com/media

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheenayapchan

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sheenayapchan/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/sheenayapchan

Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sheenayapchan

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sheena.yap.chan/

Self-confidence Quiz - https://www.sheenayapchan.com/quiz

About the guest –

Sheena Yap Chan is a keynote speaker, podcaster, consultant, and author on building self-confidence. She currently inspires women through her award-winning podcast called The Tao of Self-Confidence where she interviews Asian women about their inner journey to self-confidence. She launched The Tao of Self-Confidence: A Guide to Moving Beyond Trauma and Awakening the Leader Within in May 2023. The book delivers an inspirational and exciting discussion of how Asian women can overcome past traumas to become the best versions of themselves. In the book, you’ll discover how to reveal your own leadership potential, step into your greatness, and get to the root causes of what’s holding you back.

About the Host:

Howard Brown is a best-selling author, award-winning international speaker, Silicon Valley entrepreneur, interfaith peacemaker, and a two-time stage IV cancer survivor. He is also a sought-after speaker and consultant for corporate businesses, nonprofits, congregations, and community groups. Howard has co-founded two social networks that were the first to connect religious communities around the world. He is a nationally known patient advocate and “cancer whisperer” to many families. Howard, his wife Lisa, and daughter Emily currently reside in Michigan, and his happy place is on the basketball court.

Website

Http://www.shiningbrightly.com

Social Media

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/howard.brown.36

LinkedIn - https://wwwlinkedin.com/in/howardsbrown

Instagram - @howard.brown.36

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Transcript
Howard Brown:

Hello, it's Howard brown. It's the Shining Brightly

Howard Brown:

Show. Oh my goodness, I get the best guests. And I have this

Howard Brown:

amazing author, speaker podcaster and Sheena Yep. Chen

Howard Brown:

from the great country of Canada, up in Toronto is with us

Howard Brown:

today. How are you? Hey, Howard, thank you so much for having me

Howard Brown:

as a guest on the show today. I'm truly honoured and I'm doing

Howard Brown:

fantastic. Well, you got quite a story to share. And I'm excited

Howard Brown:

to get started with you. But let me let me share just a little

Howard Brown:

bit about you. I know you've got for people on the video side,

Howard Brown:

you've got your book, The Tao of self confidence. You've got

Howard Brown:

Asian women who boss me up available on Kindle. This is

Howard Brown:

awesome. And we're going to talk about all those things. So so

Howard Brown:

let me just introduce you a little bit and then you can fill

Howard Brown:

in the blanks. So Sheena Chan is a keynote speaker, podcaster

Howard Brown:

consultant, and a Wall Street Journal best selling author, and

Howard Brown:

building self confidence. Everybody needs self confidence.

Howard Brown:

Boy, we've been in tough, tough times, you've tough to get out

Howard Brown:

of bed some days. She currently inspires women through her award

Howard Brown:

winning podcast called The Tao of self confidence, where she

Howard Brown:

interviews Asian women about their inner journey to self

Howard Brown:

confidence. Her mission is to help Asian women boost their

Howard Brown:

confidence to live their authentic selves. Helping Asian

Howard Brown:

woman creates a voice in the world and creates a stronger

Howard Brown:

representation for Asian women. She has been featured in Mind

Howard Brown:

Valley slice.ca, marketing and Asia, the MILA Manila times and

Howard Brown:

a lot more. You are a top 100 Filipino have to talk about

Howard Brown:

that. And you're followed on LinkedIn for inspiration and

Howard Brown:

learning. You're also co author of an international best selling

Howard Brown:

book, The Asian woman who boss up and the Tao of self

Howard Brown:

confidence is a Publishers Weekly best seller too. So we

Howard Brown:

got lots to talk about. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Share some

Howard Brown:

more about yourself. And also tell my audience a little bit

Howard Brown:

something that not everybody knows about you that you want to

Howard Brown:

share?

Sheena Yap Chan:

Yeah, for sure. First off, hello, everybody.

Sheena Yap Chan:

Welcome to the show. Thank you for tuning in. Something that I

Sheena Yap Chan:

probably that most of you may not know is I love to watch K

Sheena Yap Chan:

dramas, they're my guilty pleasure, started out of the

Sheena Yap Chan:

lock downs and kind of went downhill from there. But I love

Sheena Yap Chan:

them. You know the story, the storytelling is so great. And

Sheena Yap Chan:

for me, it's really great when it talks about mental health and

Sheena Yap Chan:

trauma, which is something that is still a huge taboo in our

Sheena Yap Chan:

community. So being able to paint that story is really

Sheena Yap Chan:

important because it's very relatable, especially growing up

Sheena Yap Chan:

as an Asian woman.

Howard Brown:

So binging during during the pandemic. Ah,

Sheena Yap Chan:

yes.

Howard Brown:

All right. A lot of people did Hulu and Netflix,

Howard Brown:

HBO, everyone's doing that. So what we're coming out of it. And

Howard Brown:

tell us about your journey. Just a little bit about about

Howard Brown:

Chinese, Filipino and a little bit about, you know, growing up

Howard Brown:

and your family life and things like that, and how you got over

Howard Brown:

to Canada?

Sheena Yap Chan:

Yeah, for sure. So I was born in the

Sheena Yap Chan:

Philippines, my great grandfather and my grandfather

Sheena Yap Chan:

migrated from Taiwan and China to the Philippines. So now we

Sheena Yap Chan:

have a lot of family Philippines. My dad decided to

Sheena Yap Chan:

migrate to Canada when I was seven. So, you know, first time

Sheena Yap Chan:

ever, coming to Canada, and I didn't even know what Canada

Sheena Yap Chan:

was, I kept asking my father, are we going to America? And

Sheena Yap Chan:

he's like, No, we're going to Canada. And I'm like, is there a

Sheena Yap Chan:

Disneyland in Canada? He's like, No, I'm like, why would why can

Sheena Yap Chan:

we go to America? Why are we going to Canada, you know, but I

Sheena Yap Chan:

love Canada. I love Toronto, it's, you know, I love that so

Sheena Yap Chan:

multicultural. You can literally try every cuisine on earth here

Sheena Yap Chan:

in Toronto. And every, you know, the work that I do now really

Sheena Yap Chan:

stem from my upbringing, you know, growing up in Toronto in

Sheena Yap Chan:

the 90s. I never saw anybody that looked like me, you know,

Sheena Yap Chan:

on media, on TV, billboards, magazines. So I felt ashamed of

Sheena Yap Chan:

my own culture and wanted to have blond hair and blue eyes,

Sheena Yap Chan:

change my name to Heather to have a more Western name. And

Sheena Yap Chan:

yeah, so for from like, age nine or 10, to like my 20s, I was,

Sheena Yap Chan:

you know, I always didn't want to be Asian, I was always

Sheena Yap Chan:

embarrassed of it. And it wasn't until I dyed my hair back from

Sheena Yap Chan:

blonde to my original hair colours, where I finally

Sheena Yap Chan:

embraced my culture. And in 2015, as I was dealing with my

Sheena Yap Chan:

own competence issues, I was really looking for resource

Sheena Yap Chan:

systems that really catered to Asian Women's confidence, but I

Sheena Yap Chan:

really couldn't find any there was nothing out there. And so

Sheena Yap Chan:

part of me thought I was the only one dealing with this, but

Sheena Yap Chan:

culturally, we're not told to talk about how we feel or what

Sheena Yap Chan:

we're going through. And so that's how the podcast the top

Sheena Yap Chan:

of self confidence started, you know, as a way to support Asian

Sheena Yap Chan:

women and also create better representation because till this

Sheena Yap Chan:

day, we're still seen by our negative stereotypes. And even

Sheena Yap Chan:

though I had a podcast about confidence, I was like the least

Sheena Yap Chan:

confident right? Because I you know, I was like, Oh my God,

Sheena Yap Chan:

these women are amazing. You know, they're like, eight figure

Sheena Yap Chan:

earners. I got 2 million followers on Instagram. And then

Sheena Yap Chan:

there's me. And in Asian culture, the compare game is

Sheena Yap Chan:

very strong. You know, I just felt like, you know, there was

Sheena Yap Chan:

some went out there who's already doing it better than I

Sheena Yap Chan:

did. So I didn't really have to, like, make that effort. And then

Sheena Yap Chan:

when the pandemic happened, I was just like, I thought the

Sheena Yap Chan:

world was done. Like, I thought it was the end of the world, I

Sheena Yap Chan:

was like, ready to quit everything, because we didn't

Sheena Yap Chan:

know what was gonna happen, we were all stuck at home, right?

Sheena Yap Chan:

We didn't know if we were gonna make it through or not. And so

Sheena Yap Chan:

it was just like one of the weirdest times of our life. But

Sheena Yap Chan:

then, you know, in in the summer of 2020, I met a lady online who

Sheena Yap Chan:

started the book series women who boss up. And, you know, we

Sheena Yap Chan:

co created this book, we've done 10 books since the pandemic from

Sheena Yap Chan:

different themes. And it really just gave me the confidence to

Sheena Yap Chan:

go out there and share my voice really speak up for, especially

Sheena Yap Chan:

for Asian women, which led to being able to work with a big

Sheena Yap Chan:

time publisher like Wiley, to have this book, The Tao of self

Sheena Yap Chan:

confidence, a guide to moving beyond trauma and awakening the

Sheena Yap Chan:

leader within. And, you know, it's it's not typical to have an

Sheena Yap Chan:

Asian woman talk about, right about leadership, right? If you

Sheena Yap Chan:

look at the numbers in the US, Asian women have one of the

Sheena Yap Chan:

lowest numbers in high corporate roles in management roles in

Sheena Yap Chan:

leadership roles, and it keeps declining. So I was like, Why is

Sheena Yap Chan:

it you know, we have one of the lowest levels of leadership. And

Sheena Yap Chan:

it really ties down to like, the trauma, we go through what Asian

Sheena Yap Chan:

women go through in general, and being able to have these tough

Sheena Yap Chan:

conversations. So we can move, move past it and show up as our

Sheena Yap Chan:

best self because we all go through some form of trauma,

Sheena Yap Chan:

right. And sometimes we're not aware of that trauma. And we

Sheena Yap Chan:

don't realise that trauma could be holding us back or taking

Sheena Yap Chan:

control of us. And so, as chaotic as this world is, I

Sheena Yap Chan:

believe what we really need is to heal, like healing is so

Sheena Yap Chan:

important, especially, you know, after the pandemic, and we're

Sheena Yap Chan:

still going through the after effects of that, and we really

Sheena Yap Chan:

need healing so we can move forward, be our best selves and,

Sheena Yap Chan:

you know, live the life that we're meant to live.

Howard Brown:

Yeah, then the number one cause I read this

Howard Brown:

recently, of coming out of the pandemic was loneliness.

Howard Brown:

Everyone is craving for a hug, or embrace or interaction, not

Howard Brown:

just on Zoom, right? But it's just some good things to it and

Howard Brown:

bad things is put us together today. And by the way, Canada is

Howard Brown:

part of North America, we got to tell gramps that we get the

Howard Brown:

geography lesson there done. But it's important. You don't know

Howard Brown:

this about me. But I went to Babson College, it's the number

Howard Brown:

one school for entrepreneurship. And we have a centre for Women's

Howard Brown:

Entrepreneur leaders. And you are right. African American

Howard Brown:

women, Asian women are in the minority of ones who get funded

Howard Brown:

for their business and put into executive roles. And that trend

Howard Brown:

has not really budged much in a long time. And it needs to

Howard Brown:

because it doesn't make any sense when you want diverse

Howard Brown:

views as well as different opinions and different qualities

Howard Brown:

of people. And I take me back to this is this because of, you

Howard Brown:

know, in the Philippines or even in China was some of your family

Howard Brown:

in Taiwan, where it's just more of a male dominated upbringing?

Howard Brown:

Is that where the women are not given that role or respect?

Howard Brown:

They're supposed to raise the family? Am I onto something

Howard Brown:

there?

Sheena Yap Chan:

Yeah, I mean, there's some commonalities in

Sheena Yap Chan:

every Asian culture where you know, the men are favoured over

Sheena Yap Chan:

women. I mean, if family had to choose between their son or

Sheena Yap Chan:

daughter to go to school, of course, they'll pick, they'll

Sheena Yap Chan:

choose a son over the daughter, like my grandmother only went up

Sheena Yap Chan:

to sixth grade. And then she started, she had to start taking

Sheena Yap Chan:

care of the family, and my grandma had 11 siblings. So it's

Sheena Yap Chan:

a lot to take care of. And if you look back in history, it's

Sheena Yap Chan:

always like, you know, the men, the men are the ones who can

Sheena Yap Chan:

have multiple wives have concubines, and the more the

Sheena Yap Chan:

merrier, because it's more chances of carrying the family

Sheena Yap Chan:

name. And this was really important, like, it was so

Sheena Yap Chan:

important for the men to have a son to carry the family name to

Sheena Yap Chan:

live on that family name. So even in China, right, like, you

Sheena Yap Chan:

know, women are vilified if they're single, like, if you're,

Sheena Yap Chan:

if you're 25. And over, but you have a good job, you have good

Sheena Yap Chan:

business, you have your head on your shoulders, you're

Sheena Yap Chan:

considered a leftover. And that's what they literally call

Sheena Yap Chan:

it. In Japan. The similar they have that they have a similar

Sheena Yap Chan:

thing, but it's called Christmas cake. Because after Christmas,

Sheena Yap Chan:

your leftover so it's so crazy. That, you know, we still go

Sheena Yap Chan:

through this or even in Japan, you know, women still get

Sheena Yap Chan:

treated unfairly. Right. So that's one of the things and

Sheena Yap Chan:

then culturally, you know, we're just seeing as someone to get

Sheena Yap Chan:

married, have kids and run the household, not be like, you can

Sheena Yap Chan:

be an entrepreneur, you can be a creator, you can go out there

Sheena Yap Chan:

and live the life that you're supposed to live, right. You

Sheena Yap Chan:

know, for so long. We've been taught to live one way of life

Sheena Yap Chan:

and it was passed on from generation to generation to

Sheena Yap Chan:

generation for centuries. So of course, that's all we know, not

Sheena Yap Chan:

realising that really has been hurting us for the longest time.

Sheena Yap Chan:

And people don't realise too, like we're not only carrying our

Sheena Yap Chan:

own traumas, we're carrying the traumas of our parents, our

Sheena Yap Chan:

grandparents, our great grandparents, and so on. Like

Sheena Yap Chan:

they say it's four generations deep. But I believe it goes

Sheena Yap Chan:

deeper just because historically, the things that's

Sheena Yap Chan:

happened to us like sometimes, you know, we have certain

Sheena Yap Chan:

traditions that we do that doesn't make sense that actually

Sheena Yap Chan:

hurts women. Right? And we never question it. Like, back in the

Sheena Yap Chan:

day, you know, Chinese women had their feet binded as a status

Sheena Yap Chan:

symbol is a symbol of beauty and like, knowing that the person's

Sheena Yap Chan:

married, like, even my own great grandmother had her feet binded

Sheena Yap Chan:

and I didn't even know that until, like, you know, three,

Sheena Yap Chan:

four months ago, but that was that was that was like typical

Sheena Yap Chan:

back then. Right? To show that status, and not realising, like,

Sheena Yap Chan:

that's really painful. Like, it's, it's painful. And then she

Sheena Yap Chan:

had that done. So there's so many things, we could go through

Sheena Yap Chan:

that just like, you know, it would take forever, like,

Sheena Yap Chan:

there's just so many things, but these are things that nobody

Sheena Yap Chan:

talks about, right? And it's not about feeling like the victim,

Sheena Yap Chan:

it's just understanding this is what we go through. And that we

Sheena Yap Chan:

have to be aware of it so we can find solutions. So we could move

Sheena Yap Chan:

on.

Howard Brown:

So but going through seven, seven years old

Howard Brown:

growing up in Toronto, even though it's multicultural, you

Howard Brown:

did feel different, or were you bullied in school a little bit?

Sheena Yap Chan:

I mean, I got teased in school. I don't I

Sheena Yap Chan:

mean, I think back then, um, you know, we didn't have social

Sheena Yap Chan:

media and social media is like, it's good. And it's, and it can

Sheena Yap Chan:

be bad, right, like online bullying and things like that.

Sheena Yap Chan:

Yes, of course, I was teased, you know, I was different. But

Sheena Yap Chan:

you know, I don't think it was, to the extent is like, some of

Sheena Yap Chan:

the bullying that kids go through nowadays, which is just

Sheena Yap Chan:

terrifying, right? But I always felt different, of course,

Sheena Yap Chan:

right? When you don't fit the mould of what a Canadian is

Sheena Yap Chan:

supposed to look like, or what an American is supposed to look

Sheena Yap Chan:

like. You feel like you're not beautiful. You feel like your

Sheena Yap Chan:

self worth has gone down. And all you want to aspire is what

Sheena Yap Chan:

that supposed to look like. So, so yeah, for, like I mentioned

Sheena Yap Chan:

during, in my childhood, I just never felt that I was good

Sheena Yap Chan:

enough. Because I was Asian, right? Or I felt really ugly.

Sheena Yap Chan:

Because I was Asian, they didn't have blue hair and blonde

Sheena Yap Chan:

nights, or blond haired blue eyes.

Howard Brown:

We know what you're saying. It's okay. So, so

Howard Brown:

so so you're getting this. And in 2015, you're really starting

Howard Brown:

to build up, I've had to empower yourself, and then empower

Howard Brown:

others. And this is what I love about the book and the excerpt.

Howard Brown:

So that I've read and all that take us through the writing

Howard Brown:

process. You're already kind of done a collaborative book, but

Howard Brown:

this was your book.

Sheena Yap Chan:

So I mean, a collaborative book is totally

Sheena Yap Chan:

different, because it's just one chapter, right. But I mean, this

Sheena Yap Chan:

is a full fledged book. And I had less than three months to do

Sheena Yap Chan:

it so that we can have it launched in last month, which

Sheena Yap Chan:

was Asian heritage month. And so as soon as we, we, we, I said

Sheena Yap Chan:

yes to it. The next day, I just started writing. And I mean,

Sheena Yap Chan:

even before though I was questioning myself, if I was the

Sheena Yap Chan:

person to write this book, right, I'm like, Who am I to

Sheena Yap Chan:

write a book about leadership? Like, I don't even really know

Sheena Yap Chan:

what I'm doing. Right? And we, you know, self doubt is normal,

Sheena Yap Chan:

right? We feel like, there's someone out there who could do

Sheena Yap Chan:

it better. But I realised I needed to do this, not just for

Sheena Yap Chan:

myself, but for my community, for the Asian women out there

Sheena Yap Chan:

who feel like, they don't like who feel the same way I was

Sheena Yap Chan:

feeling right, maybe they feel like they're not good enough. I

Sheena Yap Chan:

want them to show them like it's possible, it's really possible

Sheena Yap Chan:

for you, especially if it's possible for me, because I'm

Sheena Yap Chan:

not, you know, I'm not the smartest, you know, I'm not

Sheena Yap Chan:

like, you know, I don't have like straight A's or like MBAs

Sheena Yap Chan:

or anything, but I'm willing to do the work, I'm willing to make

Sheena Yap Chan:

mistakes, to figure things out to course correct. To get it

Sheena Yap Chan:

done. And, you know, as women too, we've always been

Sheena Yap Chan:

programmed to like, wait for things to happen, not realising

Sheena Yap Chan:

that nothing happens if you wait, right? We got to go out

Sheena Yap Chan:

there and make the first move and be okay with it, even if it

Sheena Yap Chan:

means you know, people calling, you know, too much too

Sheena Yap Chan:

aggressive, too ambitious, too shameful. I mean, men do it all

Sheena Yap Chan:

the time, and they get praised for it. And it's time as women,

Sheena Yap Chan:

we just need to dismantle these names, and then be seen as

Sheena Yap Chan:

courageous and confident versus too ambitious or too much.

Howard Brown:

Well, first of all, all that thing about,

Howard Brown:

you're not the right person, or you're not ready for I admire

Howard Brown:

that three months, I took three years. And I didn't write my

Howard Brown:

book, I dictated it over zoom, and invited 158 of the most

Howard Brown:

influential, important people in my life. So three months is like

Howard Brown:

speed you're writing every single day all day long. So it's

Howard Brown:

you got to give yourself some props for that. And then you

Howard Brown:

had, you know, a big publishing house, you know, help you with,

Howard Brown:

hopefully editorial and getting it done. But it's really

Howard Brown:

important. So the process was, you were on speed dial, you are

Howard Brown:

very much. Yeah, go ahead.

Sheena Yap Chan:

And one tip I got from my good friend was

Sheena Yap Chan:

right, like you're drunk and edit like you're sober. So

Sheena Yap Chan:

that's what I did. And then I had, of course, the team of

Sheena Yap Chan:

editors who kind of just make it flow a little bit better and

Sheena Yap Chan:

things like that. But yeah, I mean, that really helped me

Sheena Yap Chan:

because sometimes, too, if in the writing process as you're

Sheena Yap Chan:

writing, you're like, do you think people will understand

Sheena Yap Chan:

what I'm saying? Do you think this We'll make sense. Do you

Sheena Yap Chan:

think they'll laugh at me? I mean, of course, all these

Sheena Yap Chan:

thoughts will come into your head, right? I mean, you're

Sheena Yap Chan:

human, you want to make sure you you give your heart and soul and

Sheena Yap Chan:

give the best work and advice to help people out there reading.

Sheena Yap Chan:

Right? So yeah, I mean, I would go to Starbucks, like, every

Sheena Yap Chan:

weekend just to write this book, right. And the best thing was, I

Sheena Yap Chan:

was able to do it in chunks, you know, just like split it into

Sheena Yap Chan:

three things. So that, you know, here's part one, here's part

Sheena Yap Chan:

one, part one is done. Here's part two, part two, and part

Sheena Yap Chan:

three. So sometimes chunking into little actionable steps,

Sheena Yap Chan:

makes it a lot easier versus trying to figure I gotta write a

Sheena Yap Chan:

whole book in three months, how am I going to do that? Right?

Sheena Yap Chan:

instead? I'd be like, well, first month, I'll do part one

Sheena Yap Chan:

second month, I'll do part two, then third month, I'll do part

Howard Brown:

Well, the relation here because of my book was

Howard Brown:

three.

Howard Brown:

shining brightly is be able to find hope, in darkness. And

Howard Brown:

you're giving hope to Asian women that had typically not had

Howard Brown:

a voice. So major applause for that. It's really important. And

Howard Brown:

now you're meeting all sorts of great accomplished women,

Howard Brown:

because this book is giving you that platform. Tell me what it's

Howard Brown:

like now that you know, you're creating better representation

Howard Brown:

for Asian women. Are you seeing the impact? Or you're feeling

Howard Brown:

it?

Sheena Yap Chan:

had other women saying, like, me and my daughter

Sheena Yap Chan:

are having these hard conversations that we don't

Sheena Yap Chan:

normally do. Which is, which is huge, because in Asian culture,

Sheena Yap Chan:

you know, we just hide it under the rug and think it'll go away,

Sheena Yap Chan:

not realising that is what is affecting us, right? We can't

Sheena Yap Chan:

hide anything under the rug, like we have to talk about these

Sheena Yap Chan:

important issues. If we keep everything under the rug, that's

Sheena Yap Chan:

this is why, you know, women are targeted more in Asian hate

Sheena Yap Chan:

crimes, not being not being able to be promoted to the next

Sheena Yap Chan:

level, because sometimes all they see is us as quiet and not

Sheena Yap Chan:

us as a leader. Right? There's a difference between working hard

Sheena Yap Chan:

and being able to be seen as a leader. And, and so we need to

Sheena Yap Chan:

figure out, you know, what does that look like? How do we be a

Sheena Yap Chan:

leader? How do How can we get to the next level? You know, we

Sheena Yap Chan:

don't even like go out there and network sometimes, right? Which

Sheena Yap Chan:

is huge. If you want to make a name for yourself. And is this

Sheena Yap Chan:

easy? Of course not. Right? I mean, I still get anxiety just

Sheena Yap Chan:

even thinking about or even reaching out. But I know, if I

Sheena Yap Chan:

do it, you know, it becomes a result, right? And another

Sheena Yap Chan:

result, and then it snowballs into everything else. So yeah,

Howard Brown:

well, I want to tell you, I do a lot of work in

Howard Brown:

the interfaith world. And when one minority is targeted, all

Howard Brown:

minorities can be targeted. And so I happen to do a tonne of

Howard Brown:

work, because I'm in the Jewish community, but in with the anti

Howard Brown:

semitism with the Muslim community and some of phobia,

Howard Brown:

and especially during COVID, when they were blaming Asians

Howard Brown:

for COVID, that whole China flu stuff that a former President

Howard Brown:

mentioned. I mean, that's, that's just plain wrong. And

Howard Brown:

it's not right. And so I was very proud to tell you that I

Howard Brown:

and Michigan, the Jewish community, we signed on this,

Howard Brown:

the Asian anti hate bill, and got that put through Congress.

Howard Brown:

So I hear what you're saying. It's just easy for people to

Howard Brown:

consider you the other and not actually look underneath at the

Howard Brown:

culture, the cuisine, and things like that, and appreciate that,

Howard Brown:

because we're all God's creatures, and we all have

Howard Brown:

value. And so this is what I love about you bring that

Howard Brown:

forward. And I have no idea because I use the hybrid

Howard Brown:

publisher, which I love, because we actually did the work

Howard Brown:

together. The big publishers, and I'm a first time author, and

Howard Brown:

an unlikely author, I didn't have the confidence, it wasn't

Howard Brown:

even on my bucket list. I'm a good speaker, not a great

Howard Brown:

writer. But the fact is, we use Zoom to get transcripts to

Howard Brown:

become drafts to become a chapter and I have I'm a

Howard Brown:

published author, Best Selling Author, as well. And it was a

Howard Brown:

huge effort, not three months, three years. So I'm just like in

Howard Brown:

awe of you to be able to push that through in that short

Howard Brown:

amount of time and to get a really amazing book out there.

Howard Brown:

So tell me some tips, a couple, two, three, whatever that how

Howard Brown:

does someone build their confidence? And what would you

Howard Brown:

recommend where to start?

Sheena Yap Chan:

Yeah, for sure. I mean, when it comes to

Sheena Yap Chan:

building confidence, I tell people to take it one step at a

Sheena Yap Chan:

time, you don't have to make really big leaps. Because

Sheena Yap Chan:

sometimes we make that big leap, and then we don't hit it. And

Sheena Yap Chan:

then we feel bad about ourselves, right? And in order

Sheena Yap Chan:

to create the big results that we want. It's about taking the

Sheena Yap Chan:

small daily actionable steps. So let's say you want to write a

Sheena Yap Chan:

book, right? And you're like, Oh, my God, this is such a big,

Sheena Yap Chan:

big deal to write a book, right? And it is for a lot of people.

Sheena Yap Chan:

You know, just start with page one, right? Write one page a

Sheena Yap Chan:

day. And imagine if you wrote one page a day for a whole year,

Sheena Yap Chan:

you would have full book or you would even have two books,

Sheena Yap Chan:

right? So it's just you know, taking those things one step at

Sheena Yap Chan:

a time, like jogging. Maybe you want to start with one one

Sheena Yap Chan:

kilometre, right? You hit one kilometre, man, you want to add

Sheena Yap Chan:

maybe half a kilometre more, and just slowly increase it. And

Sheena Yap Chan:

you'd be surprised at the end, you could do like 20 kilometres

Sheena Yap Chan:

without without blinking an eye. So well that first piece of

Sheena Yap Chan:

advice is important because you can't eat the whole pizza. You

Sheena Yap Chan:

got to take the slice. That's great. Yeah. So Rome wasn't

Sheena Yap Chan:

built in a day. So don't expect yourself to do the same way.

Howard Brown:

Exactly what what other what other tips do you

Howard Brown:

have?

Sheena Yap Chan:

Yeah, I mean, another tip that I mentioned is

Sheena Yap Chan:

that, you know, we have all been confident in something that we

Sheena Yap Chan:

do, right? We've all been confident something whether it's

Sheena Yap Chan:

jogging, business, video, podcasting. And so when we start

Sheena Yap Chan:

doing something new, we get scared, because it's unknown to

Sheena Yap Chan:

us, right? But you can transfer the confidence that you have and

Sheena Yap Chan:

the things you've accomplished and put it towards that. So

Sheena Yap Chan:

that's not really about scared, it's just we don't know, we

Sheena Yap Chan:

don't know, we get, we don't know what the outcome is, we

Sheena Yap Chan:

don't know if we'll fail. And if we fail, it's not really

Sheena Yap Chan:

failure. It's just feedback. So being able to transfer whatever

Sheena Yap Chan:

you've done in the past that confidence to something new that

Sheena Yap Chan:

can really help you out. And then the most important part is

Sheena Yap Chan:

be okay to ask for help. This is so important, especially

Sheena Yap Chan:

culturally, we're not told to ask for help, it's seen as a

Sheena Yap Chan:

weakness, or a handout, but we can't do everything ourselves.

Sheena Yap Chan:

Like we all have blind spots. So so we won't be able to see it.

Sheena Yap Chan:

Right? So it's kind of like you're when you're driving a car

Sheena Yap Chan:

and you want to change lanes, what do you do you you look at

Sheena Yap Chan:

your rearview mirror to check out the blind spots. So you

Sheena Yap Chan:

know, you have to also apply it in real life like go ask for

Sheena Yap Chan:

help be okay to ask for help. Be okay to seek support? Because

Sheena Yap Chan:

asking for help is really what can help you build confidence

Sheena Yap Chan:

because they can there's a third, second or third pair of

Sheena Yap Chan:

eyes that can see your blind spots and then be able to course

Sheena Yap Chan:

correct so you can show up as your best self. You know, I this

Sheena Yap Chan:

is something that I tell every single person now because for so

Sheena Yap Chan:

long, we've always been told don't ask for help. Don't ask

Sheena Yap Chan:

for help. Don't ask for help. But we we have to ask for help.

Sheena Yap Chan:

We can't do this alone, we got to do this together or be part

Sheena Yap Chan:

of a group or you know even be okay to ask for a licenced

Sheena Yap Chan:

mental health therapist to talk about your problems. I mean,

Sheena Yap Chan:

back in our culture that's considered shameful. They think

Sheena Yap Chan:

something's wrong with us if we go do that, but there's nothing

Sheena Yap Chan:

wrong with that, like we all we all need to work on our mental

Sheena Yap Chan:

health.

Howard Brown:

So this is this is why you're here. It's my guests.

Howard Brown:

Because everything you're speaking of, I pull out themes

Howard Brown:

in my memoir. My book isn't isn't a two time cancer book. My

Howard Brown:

book is a life guide to living a resilient life with hope. And

Howard Brown:

the themes I pull out is that survivorship we're all trying to

Howard Brown:

survive something surviving life, surviving work, surviving

Howard Brown:

relationships, surviving health. And then the the point about

Howard Brown:

taking help, it allows someone else to give you that

Howard Brown:

perspective, the blind spot, but also it makes them feel good,

Howard Brown:

and helps lift you up. And my theme is that you have to lift

Howard Brown:

yourself up. And this is what you are doing for yourself and

Howard Brown:

Asian women. And once you actually are doing the self

Howard Brown:

care, the self love the confidence building, then you

Howard Brown:

can actually lift up others. And that's what I love that you're

Howard Brown:

doing. And then we joined together like we are doing, and

Howard Brown:

we shine brightly all over the world to make this world a

Howard Brown:

better place. And that's why our themes are so related. And you

Howard Brown:

wouldn't look at that right away and see that but I'm telling you

Howard Brown:

that this is I see that. And I have guides on on my website on

Howard Brown:

survivorship on mentorship is leadership on interfaith, and

Howard Brown:

why interfaith relations of knowing the other. And this is

Howard Brown:

all very common. And I think that's what you're doing as

Howard Brown:

well. So I'm really just this, I'm all excited to get even

Howard Brown:

further into your book. And so what is next with you now, all

Howard Brown:

of a sudden, you've got the book, the book tour, you're

Howard Brown:

speaking, you're coaching and also you're got the podcast,

Howard Brown:

you're busy? What's the what's the future, like the rest of the

Howard Brown:

year? What do you mean, your book every week?

Sheena Yap Chan:

I don't know, it's so funny when people ask me

Sheena Yap Chan:

that, because it's like, you know, I just, I'm just like, you

Sheena Yap Chan:

know, go wherever, wherever the wind takes me, that's a good

Sheena Yap Chan:

answer. But like, you know, whatever opportunities arise,

Sheena Yap Chan:

you know, I just go for it, right? And sometimes, you know,

Sheena Yap Chan:

we, we want to plan our five year plan or a 10 year plan.

Sheena Yap Chan:

There's nothing wrong with that, which is great, right? But

Sheena Yap Chan:

sometimes we get so consumed that we forget to like really

Sheena Yap Chan:

live in the moment. And so, I've I've been in this journey for so

Sheena Yap Chan:

long. And for me, it's always like, you know, what, can I do

Sheena Yap Chan:

better? Right? What can I do better being able to ask the

Sheena Yap Chan:

right questions, and then those right questions will lead me to

Sheena Yap Chan:

that answer. So I know that's probably like, like woowoo or

Sheena Yap Chan:

whatever. But yeah, like, you know, just really excited for

Sheena Yap Chan:

what's to come. Being able to have a book that really touches

Sheena Yap Chan:

on Asian women in leadership. And then just keep going keep

Sheena Yap Chan:

that message going. Keep speaking up. Keep showing and

Sheena Yap Chan:

others what's possible because a lot of people like you mentioned

Sheena Yap Chan:

need hold need something to you know have their light back on

Sheena Yap Chan:

right their light has been so dim for so long. They just need

Sheena Yap Chan:

something to show them what's possible while you're showing

Sheena Yap Chan:

them and you're the wind blew you onto the shining brightly

Sheena Yap Chan:

podcast today. So I'm so excited. So this is a part of

Sheena Yap Chan:

the show we call the shining brightly spotlight. Nice Sheena,

Sheena Yap Chan:

what are we going to do is I'd love for you to tell my audience

Sheena Yap Chan:

that's listening and watching how best to get a hold of you. I

Sheena Yap Chan:

heard you actually have a really cool giveaway. And then I want

Sheena Yap Chan:

to give you the last, you know, final word of the show and then

Sheena Yap Chan:

kick it over to me and we'll we'll do a wrap. Sounds good.

Sheena Yap Chan:

Well, first off, if you want to connect with me, you can go to

Sheena Yap Chan:

my website, www dot SheenaYapchan.com I have a free

Sheena Yap Chan:

quiz where you can unlock your self confidence personality. So

Sheena Yap Chan:

you know, it's about five questions, you can get the

Sheena Yap Chan:

results right away. For the book The Tao of self confidence. You

Sheena Yap Chan:

can purchase a copy on Amazon Barnes and Noble Indigo all the

Sheena Yap Chan:

major book retailers. So you can pick up a copy. And it's

Sheena Yap Chan:

available on Kindle hardcover and audio for my podcast, the

Sheena Yap Chan:

Tao of self confidence that is available on all major

Sheena Yap Chan:

podcasting platforms. So Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google, play

Sheena Yap Chan:

Amazon, tonnes of episodes that you can binge listen to have

Sheena Yap Chan:

over 800 episodes. And then for my social media, you know, if

Sheena Yap Chan:

you look up Sheena Yap Chan, I'm literally the only Sinead chan

Sheena Yap Chan:

on the internet. So not hard to find. You'll see all my social

Sheena Yap Chan:

medias, tick tock Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, I'm

Sheena Yap Chan:

all there you are. So give me give me a final word. As we, as

Sheena Yap Chan:

you take the show to a wrap. Yeah, for sure. So I was, you

Sheena Yap Chan:

know, sharing a post today. And, you know, I was talking about,

Sheena Yap Chan:

you know, I was like thinking what, what would be a really

Sheena Yap Chan:

great message today, right? And so I saw something on Google.

Sheena Yap Chan:

And it just made a lot of sense, right? And so for anyone who's

Sheena Yap Chan:

there, man or woman, but it's geared towards women, of course,

Sheena Yap Chan:

there's a strong woman in all of us, right? Sometimes we feel

Sheena Yap Chan:

like we're so weak because of how we perceive ourselves. But

Sheena Yap Chan:

the moment when we believe in our capabilities, we believe we

Sheena Yap Chan:

can go out there and make things happen. You know, we are strong,

Howard Brown:

I love that. That's, that's incredible. Thank

Howard Brown:

you. So, again, this is Howard Brown, you can reach me at

Howard Brown:

we are strong, right? It's just how we perceive ourselves is

Howard Brown:

shining brightly.com. And, obviously, there's my speaking

Howard Brown:

what's stopping us. We have that strength inside us. It's just

Howard Brown:

the podcasts, the book. There's stuff on cancer. I've lots of

Howard Brown:

learning to work on ourselves, work on how work on our mindset,

Howard Brown:

other guests on lots of podcasts. So lots of

Howard Brown:

you know, be able to realise, you know, how much how much we

Howard Brown:

information. I'm always interactive. So please reach out

Howard Brown:

to me there. And just remember that shining brightly just a

Howard Brown:

can put out into the world, especially as women women are

Howard Brown:

little bit each day for ourselves, for others and for

Howard Brown:

amazing, you know, we, you know, we we've gone through hell and

Howard Brown:

our communities does make the world a better place. chinny

Howard Brown:

back, still going through hell and back and we're still here.

Howard Brown:

chin, you've been an amazing guest. I wish you all the best.

Howard Brown:

We're not giving up. We're not taking no for an answer. We're

Howard Brown:

I will support you and help you just shine your light everywhere

Howard Brown:

gonna keep moving forward. So just from my reminder, there's a

Howard Brown:

because it's such an important message. Thank you. Thank you

Howard Brown:

for being great guest

Howard Brown:

strong woman in all of us.