Gratitude Is The Attitude

Welcome to Shining Brightly. I am your Maestro with the mic. I have an amazing show for you today. You are going to want to watch this over and over again. Really important show. I have with me Kevin Monroe, Kevin, how are you doing?

Oh, Howard, I'm better now because I'm with you. And I'm with the Shining Brightly stars of the universe here.

It's shining on us today. And this is important because I'm gonna read something I haven't I have to tell you this is it could be in my top three favorite topics to talk about. Because this is this is how the world needs to change and your movement is going to do that. So Kevin, Kevin Monroe grows gratitude globally. And generationally Think about that for a second, what a statement. For him. It's more of a crusade than a mission. He truly believes that gratitude changes everything. I do, too, by the way. He also believes gratitude experience is better than gratitude explained, wow, that's really profound, and it's best experienced together in a community. So that end, he creates environments, hosted encounters and curates experiences allowing people to explore Express and experience gratitude is his most recent gratitude. Innovation is I am grateful for you movement. Kevin holds a Master's of Arts and organizational leadership from Gonzaga University, up in the Pacific Northwest, and an undergraduate degree in theology from Mercer University. Oh my God, you are a man on a mission. Welcome. DACA. No, go. Oh, yeah, this is great. So disclosure, we know each other a little bit. I've been to his gratitude encountered. So no secret there were fans of each other. All right, here we go. First one, we're going to say Kevin, tell us something that people don't know about you that normally you don't disclose, or you want to disclose what's what's what's, what's maybe your superpower?

What's the Howard? I thought about something? What one answer was in my hand, and then I was like, No, it's in the bio. So my undergraduate degrees in theology, something that a lot of people don't know, early in my life. I served on staff at two different churches. So a lot of people don't know that. But the fun thing, the fun thing that people don't know about me. And when I was in freshman year of college, three friends of mine and I, on a Saturday night, rescued King Kong.

Well, I got a follow up question. It was, was it Halloween? How'd you rescue King Kong? That's quite interesting.

Do you remember when they used to have these huge cutouts in front of movies? So I grew up in a small town, Perry, Georgia, and Steve and John and Bobby, we were together, we'd gone to Macon, Georgia, because you had to go to Macon, Georgia for anything big when you lived in Paris, you were hanging out making that afternoon and King Kong is playing at the movie theaters. Well, for about two weeks, the King Kong cut out had been missing. And you know, in a small town like making that they had some fun with that on the radio shows and TV. So what happened to King Kong who kidnapped King Kong? So we get to make an early for the afternoon, and we're just tootling around downtown. And there is the in Macon. Not a super big city. You know, I now live in Atlanta, but making a high rise was probably seven to 12 stories. So we're down on Cherry Street and a friend goes, Hey, let's go up on top of one of the key hotels. And so we're walking up the fire escape to get on top of the building. Look out downtown. And when we turn the corner to go right up to the roof.

There was King Kong, he's kind of when you return to the movie theater.

And so we call the Yeah, we call the paper we found King Kong and they send out a reporter they take our picture. And my friend Steve, on Sunday morning he goes Hey, Mom, Dad, you want to know what we did last night? And they go Yeah, he goes read it in the paper, you know? The paper the heroes who saved King Kong, so

Oh, thank you for sharing that. Thank you for sharing that. So I got to ask you is are people that are watching and listening? What is the power of gratitude? Why is it so important? Now? Why?

So I love Howard. I love that you added that now qualifier to the end of the statement. Let me explain what I say now. Okay. So we're not quite sure when this release but some in the not plus 900 plus days ago. That was ancient history. That was what I now call BC before COVID Right? Before COVID It was it was one thing for people to think on. Gratitude was an optional perspective and option I now call it a skill right? Now. Now, gratitude is an essential skill for you to flourish in life. And for you to create a workplace that flourishes, right? I mean, so many people over these 900 plus days of COVID people feel invisible. People feel they are not seen, heard or valued. And that's part. That's part of what contributes to the great resignation and people leaving the workplace because people forgot how to express gratitude. People forgot to say, I'm grateful for you. Hey, Howard, you did an awesome job on that project. High five, buddy, right. And so now, it's because people, there's just such an absence of it with Deb, GK Chesterton, Gilbert, Keith Chesterton, great author of The Father Brown series, he was a journalist, he said, There are two ways to look at life, you can take everything with gratitude, or you can take it for granted. Great quote, right, and so many people that we just take so much for granted. And when we take people for granted, people feel empty, people feel they're, they're not saying harder valued.

I would agree. So now we're DC during COVID. We're not AC after COVID yet, and we might not be there for a while. And I think people felt restricted, their emotional well being has been affected. And me coming from cancer to COVID, I can absolutely tell you that anyone, you know, having an illness or an addiction or issues in life, could be anything, is trying to work things out right now. And I also will say that I'm not a big fan of when, you know, the former president called someone a moron or made it acceptable to treat people, you know, kind of in a wrong way. And so we changed things around you got everyone got impatient. Everyone got angry, because we're restrictive. And we've got to change that, because that's not productive. And I know we're gonna get deeper into it right now. But it's, it's unacceptable. So now, okay, so now we're during COVID. And I guess what you're angling is it was optional before and now it's not where we go.

I think some people Whoa, did you hear that? Thunder? I don't know if you heard that.

I heard a little bit. But

wow. I think there are people who thought it was optional, right? They thought gratitude was for those particularly positive people. For those people, you know, that that embrace things like the growth mindset, and those people that embrace a positive mental attitude or a positive outlook on life, and other people just, that's not for me, that's not that's what I mean, when I say it's optimal. Now, I think if you want to flourish in life, gratitude is essential. And why do I say that? Let me let me unpack that a little deeper. And you talked about during COVID. Right. And you talked about how many people have felt so isolated, so alienated, so disconnected, so alone, and I mean, those numbers have shot through the roof, you know, and we started having new categories. We had something I've not really heard of before. COVID, damage, deaths of despair, right, where people in deaths of despair aren't just taking your own life directly via suicide, deaths of despair is when you lose hope. Or when you Oh, you self medicate with unhealthy things like alcohol or unhealthy foods, those get qualified as deaths of despair. So you were with us, just recently for a gratitude encounter. And I've been hosting those for two years, Howard. And here's one thing I mean, and I know when you were, I was blown away. And I talked about being blown away again and again. Because it happens every single time I host one of these people connect quickly and deeply. And there's something about gratitude. There's something about when we come together around the table and gratitudes what's bringing us together, that people do connect quickly. And we connect more deeply. It's not a shallow Hey, how's the weather conversation, you know, and you can have a lot of those shallow conversations and you don't really go deep, you may connect, but it's not deep. But all of a sudden when we're connecting deeply and there's this heart to heart exchange that's going on. And I remember the first it was early in hosting gratitude encounters. So Someone said it was the second month I was hosting them. Someone wrote in the comments, we arrived as strangers left as France in an hour long Session

Yeah, those sessions are for me, it's happens to be in the middle of the day for others depends on your timezone. But I will tell you that you use real time metrics, and people scored how they fail. And right now as a six, but they left us over a 9.1 is incredible. And very quickly in a breakout group. People are sharing kindness, forgiveness, respect, thankfulness. It was really nice, I have to tell you, you know, it kind of, it's kind of an infusion in your day. And I recommend the people that are going to be watching this will give you a try, because it helpful, it gives you a nice springboard into the rest of whatever you're, you know, small or big projects that you got to take on, you know, in family life and in business. So, I do appreciate that it was astounding. And I've been, I think three or four times, and I gotta get more consistent on that value. So tell me this, use this line, gratitude experienced is better than gratitude. Explain. That's a profound statement. What do you mean?

Thank you I stumbled on that, right? However, you've had those moments, I'm sure where you know, you're speaking at an event you're with clients or something. And all of a sudden, you say something, and you kind of like step out of your body. It's not a true out of body experience. But you kind of like, well, who said that? I didn't know, I knew that, you know, where did that come from? Well, this gratitude experienced is better than gratitude explained is one of those things I was working with the very first time I was hosting a gratitude encounter. My friend, Tracy Fenton had asked me what I do one for her group at Whirlpool, I said, I'd love to, and she had originally asked me to do a webinar, I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Right? Talking had me show up. Let me tell you, you should be grateful. And here are the I don't want to do that. She said, What do you want to do? So I don't know, let me ponder this. And over about two weeks, somewhere around 10 to 12 days, it hit me on what I want to do is create this environment where people come in and experience gratitude, because I've sad, and I've had people lecture me or you know, I mean, so I'm not the person. I'm not the neuroscience expert on gratitude. That's not me. But but knowing how gratitude impacts your brain and your body may not allow you to benefit from it, right? You just know about it. So that's where I landed on this, what I wanted to create work opportunities where people experienced it, because when we experience gratitude, it changes our life. Having it explained to you just go well, yeah, maybe I should be more grateful. Maybe I should. But when you experience go, Oh my gosh. But that felt good. I enjoyed that. Well, it wasn't, then we can explain what's happening with the release of oxytocin and endorphins in your body in your life. Your dopamine, you got a dopamine hit, you know, like, wow, that's what's going on. That's why you're enjoying this. That's why it feels good. But let's experience it, right. But let's just not tell you it's a good thing. Let's invite you up, pull up a seat at the table. Enjoy the meal of gratitude,

joy, the middle of it, and you can each bite is a great taste, and you're doing it together. And I think there's power in that group that we're having. I will tell you that, you know, people I changed my background here on the podcast, I ended my book because it's now real. And I coming out for preorder. We'll talk about that in a second. But I will tell you that I wrote the foreword is written by Gayndah by the name Dr. Robert wicks. And he wrote a book called bounce he wrote 23 books, he is the grandfather of resilience. And one of those characteristics I went back and check before this, we recording gratitude and humility are actually very key ingredients towards repair and recover. And, and a fullness in your life. So so you're hitting on a very key principle here. And my last chapter, which is sharing hope, is all about positivity with action. And and gratitude is like, you know, a key key key key part of that engine, I call it the connective tissue or the fuel that makes the engine go so so we're hitting on some some some pretty important stuff there. And but you take a more unique approach. I know you've touched upon it, but when you go out and you train corporations and you have staffs and things like that, what's the what's the uniqueness that people are telling you that you're bringing to the table here? Is it just that it's forgotten? And that is now being relearned helped me out here?

Well, okay. So a couple of things I hear one is this experience of gratitude, right when they actually have this interactive experience. They aren't just expected to sit and listen and to to mentally assent to the idea of gratitude, you know, you sit back and go, Well, that's a profound point you make professor. No, it's like, wow, what you invited me into experience, and you created a conversation. So some of the things we here's, I learned things about my colleagues, I never knew before I saw it, I saw them in a different light to use the shining brightly example there. Or, or another one is you helped us reframe really difficult situations. And now, and this is what I see is one of the key benefits of gratitude is it changes our perspective. Right, Wayne Dyer said, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. That's gratitude in a nutshell, because gratitude allows us you know, I wear glasses, these aren't tempted, but through the years I've worn tinted lenses, when you wear tinted lenses, everything you see, takes on that tint, right?

I wear tintled glasses all the time because I gotta wear shades when it's shining so brightly. Today, man. So tected gold's gold ribs.

Yeah. So it changes the what we see. So when we change the way and when we choose to say, Hey, let me and I've got a good friend, Chester Elton. And right when the pandemic started, Chester and I were teaming up doing some things, and we call it find your gratitude. They came up, Chester came up, he and his team came up with this great hashtag, find your gratitude gesture. And I started hosting weekly events around that because gratitude was a low hanging fruit right then Right? There was so much loss, there was so much despair, that you actually had to go look for it. But when you look for it, and you go, hey, you know, it's a really tough time in the world right now. It's still a tough time in the world right now. But what good is there that crossed my path today, who shined brightly in my life. And their radiance allowed me to experience their glow. And maybe I was feeling a bit down or I there was a dark cloud and all of a sudden someone crossed my path. And there was this radiance. And wow, it gave me hope. You talked about hope. One of the things I learned I didn't know this, but hope grows in gratitude. It's so funny. Another word here. I learned maybe last year, early part of last year, I started thinking about the catalog that catalytic effect of gratitude or gratitude as a catalyst. Right now, I wasn't a great chemistry student. So I went back and I did study a catalyst is something that causes something else to either grow bigger, or happen more quickly. And Howard, here's my favorite part about a catalyst. A catalyst is not consumed in the process. Right, so gratitude, when we embrace and express gratitude in life, but there are a lot of good things that grow in the good soil of gratitude, hope, empathy, kindness, compassion, joy, abundance, they grow better, alongside gratitude. And gratitude is not spent to grow them. Right, you don't lose gratitude, to grow kindness, you grow kindness in the in the catalyst of gratitude, and you still have gratitude, and you have kindness. In addition to it.

It's got to be more incorporated into your daily life, I will tell you that I hear of stories of random acts of kindness. I always kind of that, that that just kind of uplifts me, because, you know, all of a sudden, you're you're buying coffee, and then you said, I'm buying 10 More coffee for the people behind me, and you walk out the door and didn't even know you did it. I mean, I just hear I hear stories of that. I love that uplifting stories, because there's plenty of, you know, all the blood and guts on TV and news and all that around the world. But when you hear about those, you don't hear about those things. That's why it makes him even more special. But if you conduct yourself that way, okay, you're going to influence others and others will do that. And it'll it'll catch on and it's going to be an enormous movement.

So we see ripples, the ripple effect of kindness, the ripple effect of gratitude, the ripple effect of joy, right, those things just rip. And here's what's amazing. We have no idea how far they may rip. We have no idea. And we're not trying to track it either. But we know the more of that we do, the more good that's done. Let me tell you a story. My friend Vicki O'Grady Longo she lives outside of New York City and she has become a real big advocate we hadn't talked about this yet. But But last month we launched a campaign it's called I'm grateful for you it's a simple card our to some One card with four words on it the words on the front of the car, or I'm grateful for you. The back of the card is blank, you can write on that whatever you want to write, I think he's become a real champion of this. And a couple of weeks ago, she was leaving home, about moving her car. So John, her husband could get out and go to the doctor. And here comes the recycling truck down the street. And her recycling is picked up like mine is there's still guys that ride on the back of the truck. It's not just the robotic arm that picks up a cam, but there are two guys on the back of a truck. And she lives in New Jersey where you know, the weather they get all four seasons of the year, sometimes it's that day was particularly hot. There days where it's cold there days where it's rainy there days when it's snowing, and she sees the recycling crew coming. Oh my gosh, she grabbed three cards out of her car. She runs up and she goes to the first guy. She goes, Man, you know, I want to tell you, I'm grateful for you. And he's like, why? She goes, Yeah, John and I were just talking my husband, John, we're just, we had all this stuff. What if you didn't come pick it up. And you got to show up every week, whether it's rain shine, or whether it's hot like today, and I'm just grateful for you. Now the other guy on the other side of the truck, she runs over him. I'm grateful for you. And he looked at her and this is what he said. Ain't nobody ever told me. They're grateful for me. Yeah. Now let's talk about the ripple effect of this. I don't know how old the guy was, but but he was passed forward. He was above 40. Right? He got all of his I've never heard he was great. But anybody was grateful for him. Then she runs up to the truck driver gives him a car says I'm grateful for you. And she said all of a sudden he starts bumping in the truck honking the horn five times, and just having a little bit of a party there on the street. Three guys on the recycling group. Now, do you think the rest of their day was better or worse after that encounter? Tough question.

Our I'm thinking it was better. I'm thinking like, you know, to get an experience. It's never happened before they carried that with them all the way home.

Yeah, exactly. They go back to the station at the end of the day. You think there's a little rippling of gratitude through there? Yeah. Or of kindness, that then they go home that night? Do you think you just think they might have said, Hey, honey, guess what happened? It never happened before. Right? These ripples, we have no idea how far they might go.

I bet you he did show in dinner to his kids and to his wife.

So that's what what that's what we have people tell us. I have a friend Linda Loray. In California, she said that she gave it to a friend, a friend said I'm putting this on my refrigerator and ever taking it down. Two weeks later, the friend called and said, Hey, Linda, you know what? It's still there. I saw it this morning. And it made me feel love for you. Again, I just wanted to call and say thank you. Right. Wow, how? Wow. That's great. We could do this. And that's the power of credit. You ask? What's the Power of Gratitude examples

that you've got a wealth of examples? So is so do you think that gentleman on the recycled truck now? He can now make this part of it. You call it a lifestyle? Right? It's not an obligation. It's something you want to do, right? Is this that? That's the example I'm saying that he takes it home? Maybe he takes it to it told his boss you never know what happened when he's around the boys after work, that he's at home in front of his kids. I mean, that's that's power. That's

right. Yeah. And that's just what we see happen again. And again, one more from my friend, Vicki. Oh, well, last week, I was getting a haircut. And my barber, he's, he's had cancer. Howard. He's he's had a recurrence. And I'm not sure right now, if he's in remission, or if he's still having some struggles. I don't always ask, you know, his name's Jimmy, he's a great guy. You'd never know it, because he's always positive. And I was walking out the door. And I'm like, wow, I should take Jimmy a kid. So I threw together some of the note cards, and then the little impact cards, put it in his little envelope with a very, very subtle message on the envelope. You know, we hope people see it. No giant letters. I'm grateful for you if you're listening to the audio, and I give this to my friend Jimmy and I give him a card. And on the back. I write Thanks for always being so positive, and encouraging. And thanks for giving me great haircuts. And I give Jimmy the card. He looks at the card. He turns it over. He reads the bag. And this is what we hear so many times. Wow. You made my day. And then he goes, Can I give you a hug? Like Sure man? Yeah, well, I mean, my barber, do you think he went home talking about this encounter? And then I gave him some cards to share with others. Vicki, she gave it to a nurse in a hospital She actually gave it to she's given it to four people who've had the same response. Now. It's so amazing. She writes something on the back she gives them the card they take the card, flip it over when Do you know when when you read the front words, it's intriguing when you read the back backwards whenever the person wrote the personalized message, that's when the impact happens. And each of these four people read the car tears filling their eyes, they take the card and pressed it to their heart.

Beautiful, it's really beautiful. So why did someone get these cards?

Simply go to I'm grateful for u.co. Co, I'm grateful for u.co You can order a set of the cards, if you want to bring it into your company, bring it into your company will help you have an ungrateful for you movement or a weak employee appreciation or any kind of appreciation whether it's patients, customers, clients, volunteers, if you're a nonprofit donors, right, let's express our gratitude. And what's so amazing. We landed on these, these four words, how and I realized I don't know how many hundreds of videos I've recorded in the last four years. I remember when I started recording videos four years ago, how painful it was, especially for the people that were watching. But I struggle. But over the last two years, I got really comfortable doing videos. And I heard I all of a sudden I realized every time I signed off on a video I just say hey, I hope you know I'm grateful for you. Thanks for watching. I'm grateful for i in there's something unique about that. It's not I'm thankful for what you did. It's I'm grateful for you for who you are the unique shining brightly person that you are, the way you glow the way you bring love, light and joy to the world. I'm grateful for you. Now I appreciate what you did. But I want to start by focusing I'm grateful for you write the amazing you. There's something about that, that just connects with people. And it it does. I mean, people have encounters. And when we started this, I had no idea. One of the great benefits is almost every day a story floats my way of somebody having one of these amazing encounters and saying let me tell you what happened when I express gratitude.

So beautiful. I have a little card here. I'm grateful for it's contagious. It's going on, we're passing it forward. So how does someone you know try out an encounter like, you know what? How does someone get in touch with you giving him some coordinates here as the best? Because because there's a lot of I have a big network, they're going to be watching this, they're going to want to hire you they're going to want to try this out themselves individually. You want to have you want to direct people.

Okay, so let me make this if you're on LinkedIn, find me um, Kevin Monroe on LinkedIn. You know, I must have been like the original Kevin Monroe, so it's not Kevin Monroe 01 or any I just Kevin Monroe on LinkedIn. linkedin.com/Kevin. Monroe. Howard, I like to keep make it simple plus 1-404-713-0713 cell number you can text that number SMS, you can WhatsApp, you can signal signal me on that number. So it's plus 1-404-713-0713.

Let's not Yeah, you've given out your your cell number. But I would say Kevin monroe.com. is an easy one.

But hey, if somebody Yeah, Kevin D. Monroe.com.

I see the D now. Yeah. Well, I want to tell you that this is a high energy show today. This is beautiful. I love the real time metrics you use because it gives people a perspective of not everyone's feeling great. Not everyone, some people feel better. But the group I love those the questions that you ask, it's very interactive, you meet people, because we break up into small groups, and you come away charged to finish up your day or whatever you got going. So I want to tell you that Kevin Monroe, you are shining brightly today. Thank you every day, every day. So I want to thank you. This is really great. I'm so excited. There's amazing stuff happening for me. Shining brightly.com If you want to interact with me, the book is coming out for preorder, and then full launch on September 13. And, boy, you and I make a great tag team. I mean, it's just positivity just is coming out through the screen here, man. We are grateful. We're making it happen. We're gonna change change and make the world a better place every single day. So I want to thank you. I am grateful for you. And I like our friendship and I'm really appreciative that you came on today.

So Howard, let me drop one more thing. Maybe you may see this quotations in the book. I haven't gotten a pre copy yet. But let me Anne Lamott has my favorite light house quotation. All right. Light houses don't go wrong. Running around the island looking for boats to save. They just stand there shining.

That's right. Oh, I like that one.

Just shine people you shine you shine brightly. And when you shine, people see your light, they're drawn to your light, or they're warmed by your light. So keep shining brightly.

Well, I'll finish this one up and say this, this this episode is shining brightly. Be prepared to be inspired by Kevin and Howard show. So thank you so much for being here. We're going to see on the other side real soon. And I this is an amazing show. Thank you. Thank you for being here