June 14, 2023

Father’s Day Tribute: Our Miracle Girl With Host Howard Brown

Father’s Day Tribute: Our Miracle Girl With Host Howard Brown

Father’s Day 2023 – being a DAD is the GREATEST HONOR for me! In Episode 31 of the Shining Brightly Podcast Show (links in the comments), I produce a solo show called my “Father’s Day Tribute – Our Miracle Girl” The story begins with lessons from my great grandmother Bubby Bertha Budish, Grandfather Papa Leo Brown, my dad, Marshall (Happy Father’s Day Pop) and mom, Nancy and wife Lisa. The family memories and values I carry forward about compassion, care, kindness and giving all matter! Facing a stage IV cancer diagnosis at age 23, having children was not on my mind but Dr Eric Rubin spoke to me about fertility treatments and scheduled an appointment to the cryogenic center before chemotherapy started. You will have to tune in to see how my fatherhood story plays out. Come listen, download, share and this amazing story of my life and the birth of our frozen kidcycle Emily Lauren Brown  blessed our family.

Mentioned Resources

Website – www.shiningbrightly.com

Amazon – https://tinyurl.com/BuyShiningBrightly

Podcast - https://shining-brightly.captivate.fm/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/howard.brown.36

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/howardsbrown/

About the guest

Howard Brown is a Silicon Valley entrepreneur, award-winning international speaker, inspirational podcaster, best-selling author of his memoir “Shining Brightly” and a two-time stage IV cancer patient, survivor, advocate and healthcare consultant. He shares the keys to leading a resilient life with hope that drives successful community leaders, business innovators and patient advocates. Be prepared to be inspired!


About the Host:

Howard Brown is a best-selling author, award-winning international speaker, Silicon Valley entrepreneur, interfaith peacemaker, and a two-time stage IV cancer survivor. He is also a sought-after speaker and consultant for corporate businesses, nonprofits, congregations, and community groups. Howard has co-founded two social networks that were the first to connect religious communities around the world. He is a nationally known patient advocate and “cancer whisperer” to many families. Howard, his wife Lisa, and daughter Emily currently reside in Michigan, and his happy place is on the basketball court.

Website: Http://www.shiningbrightly.com

Social Media

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/howard.brown.36

LinkedIn - https://wwwlinkedin.com/in/howardsbrown

Instagram - @howard.brown.36


Thanks for listening!

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.

Don't forget to subscribe on your favorite podcast app so that you do not miss future episodes. And while you are there, it would help us get the word out to more people if you could leave an honest review.


Subscribe to the podcast

If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe to your favorite podcast app.

 

Leave us an Apple Podcasts review

Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

#fathersday #fathersday2023 #dads #family #daughters #sons #memories #miracle #invitrofertilization #celebrate #blessings #grateful #motivation #education #inspiration #book #speaker #podcast #download #share #reveiw #shiningbrightly

Transcript
Howard Brown:

Hello, it's Howard Brown. Welcome to the Shining

Howard Brown:

Brightly Show. You got me today, it's a solo episode in honour of

Howard Brown:

Father's Day 2023. Let me first by giving a huge shout out to

Howard Brown:

all the dads out there. Listen, it's an honour to actually be a

Howard Brown:

dad. It's a privilege to be a dad, there's work involved. But

Howard Brown:

listen, there's no better feeling than actually being a

Howard Brown:

dad and growing a family. So we're going to talk about that.

Howard Brown:

And we're gonna talk about my journey today. So this is a

Howard Brown:

Father's Day tribute. And I'll start kind of some where values

Howard Brown:

and influences started for me, and I was five years old, and my

Howard Brown:

twin sister, CJ brown Jiang, Marissa and I were walking down

Howard Brown:

the sidewalk with Barbie Bertha Buddhists who came over from

Howard Brown:

Lithuania. What an amazing story for her to come over Orthodox

Howard Brown:

Jewish, great grandmother, or Bobby. And she taught us some

Howard Brown:

lessons. And those lessons were how to actually live a good

Howard Brown:

life. And the word she taught us was has said, and has it in

Howard Brown:

Hebrew means kindness. And she said, you can always be kind,

Howard Brown:

living a life of kindness, it's a choice, and choose kindness.

Howard Brown:

Really wise words there. The second word she chose was to

Howard Brown:

live a life of giving. And in Hebrew, the word is sadaqa. And

Howard Brown:

it's the justice of giving. And she said that you have to be

Howard Brown:

able to give to others, there's less fortunate people out there.

Howard Brown:

And giving is part of of a great life. And then lastly, she

Howard Brown:

talked about healing yourself and then healing others and

Howard Brown:

healing the world. And that word is called Hakuna Olam. And that

Howard Brown:

is repairing and healing a broken world. And that is

Howard Brown:

godlike. So those three lessons that we took from an early age

Howard Brown:

of living a life of kindness, of giving, and then healing

Howard Brown:

ourselves in healing others to repair a broken world is a good

Howard Brown:

life. So I am just grateful for Bobby Bertha Buddha's to give us

Howard Brown:

those lessons, those values to be able to take forth and try to

Howard Brown:

apply on a daily basis. Next, there was Papa Leo Brown, my

Howard Brown:

dad's dad, and he was graduated high school, but got drafted

Howard Brown:

into World War Two and he served as a private first class in

Howard Brown:

Italy. And what I observed from Papa Leo was that family first

Howard Brown:

family was everything to him. They grew up in the Great

Howard Brown:

Depression, we used to go shopping. And the big thing with

Howard Brown:

Papa Leo is that if can with cans of corn were on sale. Okay.

Howard Brown:

Now, at that time, they might have been a quarter a can and

Howard Brown:

they were on sale for a few pennies last, he would stock up

Howard Brown:

with cases, he didn't actually want to go short. So you can

Howard Brown:

think about during COVID, those runs of toilet paper. He always

Howard Brown:

wanted to have enough to provide for his family and not run out

Howard Brown:

since he grew up fairly poorly. And he also was a hard worker.

Howard Brown:

And I noticed that he used to actually sing a song to us that

Howard Brown:

if you want to be the top banana, you got to start at the

Howard Brown:

bottom of the bunch. So think about the memories from your

Howard Brown:

grandparents that that actually were bestowed upon you and that

Howard Brown:

you can remember today and then moving on to my dad, Marshall,

Howard Brown:

Brown. Boy, listen, he was young man got my mom was 19. He was I

Howard Brown:

think 22 years old, and they had twins. So my dad who had been

Howard Brown:

the first person in our family to graduate college, the

Howard Brown:

University of Bridgeport, I think in around 1964 and got

Howard Brown:

married right away and had to go to work because we were born in

Howard Brown:

St. Louis. He was there in a training programme. And then

Howard Brown:

they moved us back to the Boston suburbs of Framingham, about 20

Howard Brown:

minutes from Boston. And what I noticed growing up was that he

Howard Brown:

was working to support his family. So he's a shoe salesman,

Howard Brown:

on the road. And then on the weekends, you He was working in

Howard Brown:

a shoe store, Al Bundy, right. And at nights he was working at

Howard Brown:

the hostess, bakery shop, and obviously the plant, and he's

Howard Brown:

making hostess cupcakes and Twinkies. And so my mom was

Howard Brown:

taking care of twins, and he's working three jobs to make ends

Howard Brown:

meet. And to give us a good life. And so that hasn't changed

Howard Brown:

very much. My dad at 80 years old is still working. I don't

Howard Brown:

think he's ever going to retire. But that's okay. But that value

Howard Brown:

of work stuck with me. And he got to take us out on some road

Howard Brown:

trips, and he valued that ability to be able to provide

Howard Brown:

for his family. Now. I will tell you as we got older, even though

Howard Brown:

he was working and on the road and away a lot when he was home,

Howard Brown:

he was an active dad. So I will tell you that we sat out in the

Howard Brown:

front yard in the driveway shooting baskets, and he would

Howard Brown:

rebound with me for hours. I don't think I think he might

Howard Brown:

have missed one game of my basketball career. In high

Howard Brown:

school or in college. He made it his schedule around seeing me

Howard Brown:

play and seeing my sister who did sports a little bit

Howard Brown:

gymnastics, but very much a presence. Whether it was

Howard Brown:

throwing the football around, or swimming in the pool, going to

Howard Brown:

the gym playing tennis, jogging, we used to do a trail called

Howard Brown:

Rudy the rabbit in our reservoir, narrow house, great

Howard Brown:

memories of my dad. And so, quick story. My mom went to play

Howard Brown:

mahjong with her girlfriends. And that's with tiles. It's I

Howard Brown:

think it's a Japanese Chinese game. And my dad let us stay up

Howard Brown:

late. So we got to stay up late. And my mom found out not too

Howard Brown:

happy. So we gave him the best father award. It was like a

Howard Brown:

little trophy we've made. And for years and years, we've

Howard Brown:

always given them the best father award. So Dad, you get

Howard Brown:

the best father award every year that that were around. So cool,

Howard Brown:

cool stuff. Now, I want to talk about family tradition. Because

Howard Brown:

oh my goodness, my grandparents, Lillian and Mike Shapiro, have

Howard Brown:

blessed memory, started a tradition where they would pick

Howard Brown:

us up on a Friday or maybe even a Thursday night. And we would

Howard Brown:

drive to Long Island to Queens, and we would pick up my cousins.

Howard Brown:

And they were, Michelle was one year younger, Doug was, I think

Howard Brown:

four years younger, Michelle, and Douglas and CJ and I, and we

Howard Brown:

would all be in a car together. These are like, bucket seats.

Howard Brown:

I'm sorry, they were like bench seats. And so three in the back

Howard Brown:

three in the front. And we would drive from New York City up to

Howard Brown:

the Catskill Mountains. I think we started doing this gotta be

Howard Brown:

like eight years old. And we did it to 18. And we go up to the

Howard Brown:

Catskill Mountains, and they have all these hotels grows and

Howard Brown:

grows, I'm not sure they're in business anymore. The Concord,

Howard Brown:

the Homer whack. It was it was amazing. And we were there just

Howard Brown:

with our grandparents, we had adjoining rooms that were

Howard Brown:

connected, and we would get to go, my grandfather taught us to

Howard Brown:

play golf. We were going swimming, and huge dining halls

Howard Brown:

or rooms of meals. And we saw shows at night. And I think some

Howard Brown:

of the time we'd cut out of the shows because it was a weird

Howard Brown:

time to go to bed, keeping, you know, keeping us up late at

Howard Brown:

night. But I think about all those special memories of the

Howard Brown:

food and the fun that we had. And we sang songs together in

Howard Brown:

the car to pass the time. My grandfather's favourite was You

Howard Brown:

Are My Sunshine. And we sang John jingle John Jacob

Howard Brown:

Jingleheimer. Schmidt,

Howard Brown:

I mean, oh, my God, we have so many different types of songs,

Howard Brown:

the wheels on the bus. And we're a little kids at the time. But I

Howard Brown:

don't I think that the appreciation we got was that we

Howard Brown:

actually had a family tradition that we would look forward to

Howard Brown:

all year long. And, you know, meeting up with my remote

Howard Brown:

cousins in New York, and then heading up to the Catskills, and

Howard Brown:

we just didn't want it to end was so fantastic. And I want you

Howard Brown:

to think about, you know, some family memories and traditions

Howard Brown:

that you have for your families, too. And the great thing is, is

Howard Brown:

that when my sister and I had kids, we're gonna get into that

Howard Brown:

in a second. My parents started a tradition of taking everyone

Howard Brown:

to their happy place called Ogunquit Beach, Maine. And so

Howard Brown:

imagine flying everybody and we were in California some of the

Howard Brown:

Time and then all in Michigan, flying to Boston, going to bobby

Howard Brown:

Nancy's house and Papa Marsh's pool for the first night. And

Howard Brown:

that was like a Thursday night and then Friday morning, we were

Howard Brown:

up early. And we're all headed in the caravan like three cars,

Howard Brown:

all the way up to Ogunquit Beach, Maine. And we would

Howard Brown:

actually stay at the Aspen quit hotel, a bridge, walk from the

Howard Brown:

beach, and then close enough to downtown Algonquin, where all

Howard Brown:

the restaurants and the ice cream and all the shops were and

Howard Brown:

we did this, oh my God, my parents were going up there for

Howard Brown:

40 some odd years. We did this since our kids were born. And we

Howard Brown:

missed a few because of COVID. And then we lived in California

Howard Brown:

for a little bit but we got to go up there and the kids would

Howard Brown:

go on the trolleys that we would walk to Perkins Cove, after

Howard Brown:

dinner every night they got to my mom would take them to the

Howard Brown:

candy store. Every morning my dad would go on to Dunkin Donuts

Howard Brown:

run for everybody. So every morning it's Dunkin Donuts and a

Howard Brown:

doughnut or a croissant and coffee and juice and all that.

Howard Brown:

And then we would head down to the beach for the day. And

Howard Brown:

living in the water freezing cold playing games, walking to

Howard Brown:

different parts of the beach and then coming back after hopefully

Howard Brown:

not being sunburned to swim in the pool and go to early dinner.

Howard Brown:

My dad was like the kids got to eat at 530 was like clockwork.

Howard Brown:

But another just family tradition and I'm just teasing

Howard Brown:

you with the highlights. You can buy my book and you can you can

Howard Brown:

read all the deets, but it was truly, really incredible. And I

Howard Brown:

want to just call out some fatherly advice. So I had gotten

Howard Brown:

to Connecticut College. It wasn't really the right fit for

Howard Brown:

me. And my dad said you're taking summer classes, you're

Howard Brown:

going to play basketball work and take summer classes at

Howard Brown:

Babson College. And I did. And I found my place there at Babson

Howard Brown:

the number one school for entrepreneurship, and it changed

Howard Brown:

the trajectory of my life. So thanks, Dad, for really making

Howard Brown:

sure that I was actually on the right track when I got off the

Howard Brown:

track. So that's what dads do, right? And then after graduating

Howard Brown:

Babson I started my career. And for those that know me, they

Howard Brown:

know the story. But for those that don't. At age 23, and a

Howard Brown:

half, I was diagnosed with stage four T cell non Hodgkins

Howard Brown:

lymphoma. Now, during the headlights, yes, no internet, no

Howard Brown:

cell phones, no real computer use. Dad, dad got a book on

Howard Brown:

cancer. And we had to learn what was all about. But things were

Howard Brown:

dark for me. And my mom and dad, I moved home. And we didn't get

Howard Brown:

any good news. I was failing the therapies and things look really

Howard Brown:

dark. And the only good news is my twin sister ended up being an

Howard Brown:

exact bone marrow match stem cell transplant and roll the

Howard Brown:

clock forward to May 24 of 1990. I had a bone marrow transplant a

Howard Brown:

week before I had Rockem sockem chemo and full body radiation

Howard Brown:

twice a day. And I was in an isolation room think boy in the

Howard Brown:

bubble. And we were hoping to see if her bone marrow would

Howard Brown:

work and not kill me right away. And we were hoping it did and it

Howard Brown:

was infused in me. And her immune system became my immune

Howard Brown:

system. Miracle number one. I mean, that's a one in 25,000

Howard Brown:

chance of being a match. Incredible. I still can't fathom

Howard Brown:

it. I mean, how blessed grateful and lucky was I and I went

Howard Brown:

through a clinical trial and I got my life back. And I got to

Howard Brown:

move to California and start to rebuild my mental toughness, my

Howard Brown:

physical fitness, my confidence, working again, hitting the

Howard Brown:

basketball court out and Marina del Rey with the ocean breeze

Howard Brown:

right off the beach there. Oh, that was kind of cool. And then

Howard Brown:

by adding community service into my life, I met my wife at the

Howard Brown:

Jewish Federation of Los Angeles in 1993. And she, she said, You

Howard Brown:

know what, we were actually at it like a college fair looking

Howard Brown:

to volunteer in the community in the Jewish community. And she

Howard Brown:

said you'd be a great Jewish Big Brother. And I signed up they

Howard Brown:

did all the background checks and the fingerprinting and I got

Howard Brown:

matched with a young man who was 10 young boy, Ian Ellis met his

Howard Brown:

mom, Susan who's passed away a blessing memory and I became a

Howard Brown:

big brother. And I learned a lot about being a big brother but

Howard Brown:

really it translated into being My dad, because I was stepping

Howard Brown:

in kind of for his dad that was in prison, and now passed away.

Howard Brown:

And I learned so much about Ian and about his family and I had

Howard Brown:

never had a little brother. And we got to experience life and

Howard Brown:

wrap ourselves around each other. And what an amazing

Howard Brown:

experience from playing chess on the beach to take him to his

Howard Brown:

first concert, to flying out to San Francisco to spend weekends

Howard Brown:

with us. And then as he progressed and went to college,

Howard Brown:

at UC Santa Cruz and his master's at Florida State, and

Howard Brown:

then he ended up going to Hastings Law School and got to

Howard Brown:

stand up for ENN his wedding. He's now married to Sarah has a

Howard Brown:

son noble, and in between that he stayed with us during his

Howard Brown:

clerkship. And as he was came to Michigan and live with us for

Howard Brown:

four months, and he got to play and meet Emily and play soccer

Howard Brown:

with her. And she calls him uncle Ian, and he's a big part

Howard Brown:

of our lives. And Ian's are no will our family with us. And so

Howard Brown:

the lessons learned about some discipline, when and, you know,

Howard Brown:

getting me in, on the right track was passed on from, as I

Howard Brown:

said, from grandparents, to parents to me, and I was able to

Howard Brown:

apply many of those lessons of my upbringing and values to Ian.

Howard Brown:

And it's really special to watch him grow his family. Now, I will

Howard Brown:

tell you that. So mentorship is leadership. And being the mentor

Howard Brown:

being the mentee, the world is, he's a lot more of that, I will

Howard Brown:

actually tell you that. And so next I met Lisa, and we had a

Howard Brown:

Hollywood romance and a Hollywood wedding and shutters

Howard Brown:

at the beach. And I one of the toughest conversations I had was

Howard Brown:

had to tell her that I was infertile. And I had gone

Howard Brown:

through a major cancer experience. And that could have

Howard Brown:

easily, you know, pushed her away. But it didn't. I think she

Howard Brown:

she embraced that. And she loved me more for that. When I

Howard Brown:

disclosed that to her while we were dating, and we got married,

Howard Brown:

and my career is booming. And the work in that community is

Howard Brown:

doing going great. And we moved up to San Francisco Bay Area,

Howard Brown:

Silicon Valley, as I'm a tech entrepreneur. And a couple of

Howard Brown:

things that I forgot about, that you so easily do when you get

Howard Brown:

sucked into the vortex is that my work life balance, I was a

Howard Brown:

workaholic and I wasn't making enough time for me and and

Howard Brown:

enough time for Lisa was fitting in the community service. But

Howard Brown:

it's really easy to get get into that and get into that breezy

Howard Brown:

pace. You know, I always say Silicon Valley two plus two

Howard Brown:

equals 200 In the late 90s. And it was a fast pace. Every look

Howard Brown:

left everyone's sprinting look right everyone sprinting. It

Howard Brown:

doesn't make it right, but was sprinting. And I was able to be

Howard Brown:

part of some public offerings and some, some good things in

Howard Brown:

technology. And it was great. And I came home one night, and

Howard Brown:

late, at least gave me an article that families that eat

Howard Brown:

together and spend time together are more successful, at least

Howard Brown:

and I work got married a little later in life. And we're, I

Howard Brown:

think together probably seven years. And she said maybe it's

Howard Brown:

time we we call for that sperm that donated back before I did

Howard Brown:

any chemotherapy. And I want to definitely just divert to that

Howard Brown:

for a second. So when I'm 23 years old, and you're told that

Howard Brown:

you have stage four

Howard Brown:

T cell non Hodgkins lymphoma, blood of your cancer of your

Howard Brown:

whole lymphatic system, haven't haven't chosen wasn't on the

Howard Brown:

mind. It was really in the front lines of am I going to live or

Howard Brown:

die. And so I go through a lot of tests. And I come in for my

Howard Brown:

first chemotherapy treatment. And in an amazing way. My liver

Howard Brown:

function tests was too high. It was unsafe for me to do chemo. I

Howard Brown:

was kind of knocked down from that because it was didn't sleep

Howard Brown:

at all that night. I had no idea and if my liver function was

Howard Brown:

good, I would have done chemotherapy but instead it

Howard Brown:

wasn't. So either. Or quick thinking by Dr. Eric Rubin at

Howard Brown:

Dana Farber Cancer Institute, my Harvard fellow or training or

Howard Brown:

good doctoring or whatever you want to call it, God talking to

Howard Brown:

all my who knows He told me to go to the cryogenic centre and I

Howard Brown:

said cryo what is a sperm bank? And he said, You're not going to

Howard Brown:

do chemo today. What do you got to lose? It might actually feel

Howard Brown:

good, right? But um, so I went and I actually delivered a sperm

Howard Brown:

sample. And I kind of forgot about it because I was fighting

Howard Brown:

for my life. And you get a bill once a year, and you pay it. And

Howard Brown:

so Lisa, and I called for that, that sperm. By the way, thank

Howard Brown:

you, Dr. Rubin. Thank God, my God, you gave us a family. I'm

Howard Brown:

more grateful and lucky for your wisdom. So we call for the

Howard Brown:

sperm. And this is, you know, 1989. So we're now in 2000. It's

Howard Brown:

11 years later. So we go to the fertility physicians in Northern

Howard Brown:

California. And we meet and they take us through the process.

Howard Brown:

It's an expensive process, it still might be today. And we had

Howard Brown:

the sperm flown out to San Jose, California. Lisa, in the

Howard Brown:

meantime, grew eight eggs. And the harvest when they took the

Howard Brown:

eggs out of her, they looked and kept the best for and they

Howard Brown:

defrosted sperm. This is a medical miracle number two here

Howard Brown:

for me. And they took injected the best swimmer in those four

Howard Brown:

eggs and then actually implanted them back and Lisa, and for the

Howard Brown:

time being, we thought we're actually going to have twins,

Howard Brown:

but it's truly amazing. On August 20 of 2001. At Stanford

Howard Brown:

University Hospital,

Howard Brown:

Emily Lauren Brown was born and made us parents made me a dad

Howard Brown:

made Lisa a mom.

Howard Brown:

Try not to tear up. Because that was an incredible, incredible

Howard Brown:

day. She stayed in the NICU for a few days, and that was the

Howard Brown:

healthiest baby there and got moved to a floor. My in laws

Howard Brown:

bobbin Anita Naphtali happened to be there. And we're in the

Howard Brown:

live birth. And we took Emily home was a dad. Think about

Howard Brown:

that. It just could have been dead. And because of frozen

Howard Brown:

sperm medical technology, I was able to become a dad. It was

Howard Brown:

incredible. It was humbling. It was amazing. It was God blessed

Howard Brown:

all of the above. So we took home Emily, and I was home for

Howard Brown:

dinner a lot more. I kind of got off the bus of Silicon Valley,

Howard Brown:

the pendulum swung the other way from the.com to the.com. And I

Howard Brown:

started working at a nonprofit that I helped found and move

Howard Brown:

forward called Planet jewish.com. which no longer in

Howard Brown:

business, but it allowed me to be home for dinner and control

Howard Brown:

my own schedule. Thanks Steve Kaufman, for that my partner in

Howard Brown:

able to move that from an idea to reality to help help list

Howard Brown:

Jewish events and get more people to involved in the Jewish

Howard Brown:

communities that we brought it out and I think 30 communities

Howard Brown:

the lesson for 17 years. So becoming a dad and Lisa was a

Howard Brown:

stay at home mom. We got to do so much together by going to the

Howard Brown:

park together and singing songs and watching Emily grow up and

Howard Brown:

start to go to nursery schools and we move the whole band back

Howard Brown:

to Michigan. And my sister called me said I'm moving to

Howard Brown:

Michigan with her family and she had three children. She had

Howard Brown:

Marley who's was age six, and Luke and Danny twins girl boy

Howard Brown:

twins, that were age four. And at that time, Beth and Larry had

Howard Brown:

my sister in law and that's half sister, Lisa's half sister Beth

Howard Brown:

had two boys, Ben at age four exact age six. And they got to

Howard Brown:

grow up together my in laws, Bob and Anita lived here in

Howard Brown:

Michigan. My parents were in Boston that were closer, my mom

Howard Brown:

was able to come out a lot more frequently and see the

Howard Brown:

grandchildren. And it was amazing. And again, we're doing

Howard Brown:

these trips to Ogunquit mostly around every July 4 every year.

Howard Brown:

And the kids grew up together. And they went to lots of

Howard Brown:

different events and got to see each other a lot and I thought

Howard Brown:

that was really important. The old adage from Family First that

Howard Brown:

that Papa Leo and my mom always said we are able to do that and

Howard Brown:

and grow up together. And it was really, really a joy. And so we

Howard Brown:

watched Emily go to school and then around age he started to

Howard Brown:

get into soccer. And so being that my dad Add was at all my

Howard Brown:

basketball games. I wasn't going to Miss Emily soccer games and

Howard Brown:

was cheering her from the sidelines as she evolved and she

Howard Brown:

got really good. And she started doing travel soccer. And if

Howard Brown:

anyone doesn't know what travel soccer is on a national level,

Howard Brown:

every weekend, from the start of soccer season in August, to the

Howard Brown:

end of soccer season, if you're playing at the national level in

Howard Brown:

July, it's all year round. And you're staying at a Holiday Inn

Howard Brown:

Express, eating the same pancake batter and getting a juice and

Howard Brown:

you're travelling with the other team parents, so you get to know

Howard Brown:

them quite well. But Emily was all in on soccer. And she was a

Howard Brown:

five foot four goalie she was really fearless and really good

Howard Brown:

and training is four times a week, goalie training is another

Howard Brown:

two times a week and then goalies play games and they

Howard Brown:

rotate goalies a call it go need a goalie and you're playing

Howard Brown:

games all the time. And so that dominated about 10 years of our

Howard Brown:

life. And there was a recruiting process and all that. And I

Howard Brown:

actually was the team manager for I can't remember two

Howard Brown:

different instances for I think two or three years each. So

Howard Brown:

that's the club, the soccer club liaison to the parents and to

Howard Brown:

the players. So I got to do that. Unfortunately, at age 50,

Howard Brown:

in 2016, I had a colonoscopy. This is my timeout period during

Howard Brown:

the podcast to say, Go get screened for your mammography,

Howard Brown:

your prostate, your colonoscopy or at at home test your cardio

Howard Brown:

for your stress tests, go to the dentist, everyone's skip their

Howard Brown:

appointments during COVID Go get screened. It is so much better

Howard Brown:

than getting diagnosed with cancer or any other disease and

Howard Brown:

going through chemo and surgeries and side effects and

Howard Brown:

No, no reason to do that. Go keep your health up. Go Go get

Howard Brown:

screened, please. So at age 50, I got diagnosed after

Howard Brown:

colonoscopy a stage three with an eight and a half centimetre

Howard Brown:

tumour in my cecum colon resection surgeries, chemo port,

Howard Brown:

full chemotherapy cycles, more surgery, failed clinical trial

Howard Brown:

metastatic stage four in July of 17. And again, lightning struck

Howard Brown:

again. cancer stage four cancer for a second time. This time I'm

Howard Brown:

you know a husband, a dad. And it's the digital age. So I'm

Howard Brown:

looking for digital resources of support. But when you go

Howard Brown:

metastatic and it spreads to your liver or your your stomach

Howard Brown:

linings call your peritoneum and omentum and your bowel, your

Howard Brown:

prognosis is in very good. You can Dr google it, it's 4% chance

Howard Brown:

to live in like six to 12 months. And things were dark.

Howard Brown:

And all I could think of was Am I gonna see Emily graduate high

Howard Brown:

school, she was a freshman at the time. And I did not know. I

Howard Brown:

had no idea. And in the stage for cancer world, we live with

Howard Brown:

death. It's not that people give up it's their cancer burden

Howard Brown:

comes to great and God calls them to have an only God knows

Howard Brown:

your number. And I was still trying to be active, you know,

Howard Brown:

in Emily's life. But there were times where I was bedridden. I

Howard Brown:

was sick, I'm raging on steroids, puking my guts out

Howard Brown:

going to the bathroom a lot. And there was there was lots of

Howard Brown:

stuff that she watched her dad, you know, suffer, be in pain,

Howard Brown:

and not be able to, you know, perform like I wanted to not

Howard Brown:

working on disability. And she had to witness all that at a

Howard Brown:

young age. And people would always ask her, you know how

Howard Brown:

among Dillon, and it didn't ask her how she was doing. I feel

Howard Brown:

bad about that. But we were on the firing lines. Again, Lisa

Howard Brown:

stepped in as my caregiver and Superwoman and had to do

Howard Brown:

everything, including arrays, Emily, and I participated where

Howard Brown:

I could, especially on the soccer side, trying to get to as

Howard Brown:

many games as I could. And as the team manager, I had other

Howard Brown:

team dads Ross Leonard and others drag me and Dr. Emily to

Howard Brown:

games that were all over the place. And you try to do the

Howard Brown:

best you can and just get out of bed each day and get through the

Howard Brown:

treatments get through the side effects. And this time I was a

Howard Brown:

Marine on a mission. And I wanted to see Emily graduate you

Howard Brown:

had to put that goal out there. And I did and although I allowed

Howard Brown:

myself some time to be depressed, be angry. I never

Howard Brown:

lost the four letter word that you need to take with you called

Howard Brown:

Hope. Hope was that fuel that allowed me to keep going. And so

Howard Brown:

via miracle number three I did a surgery called cytoreduction

Howard Brown:

high pack, hyper intrapreneurial chemotherapy, so they cut me

Howard Brown:

open, and they poured hot chemotherapy me in March of 18

Howard Brown:

and 30. and a half hours later, I woke up in the ICU and pressed

Howard Brown:

the morphine drip button and then began the healing process

Howard Brown:

to see if they got all the cancer and that he did chemo had

Howard Brown:

got the actual cancer, they couldn't see the microscopic

Howard Brown:

cancer. And I am here to tell you today I'm almost four years

Howard Brown:

no evidence of disease, getting towards the fifth year and

Howard Brown:

hopefully remission. And I got to see MIT graduate high school,

Howard Brown:

one of the proudest days of my life didn't even wasn't

Howard Brown:

guaranteed, life's not guaranteed. And then I got to

Howard Brown:

see her graduate college this December, she graduated summa

Howard Brown:

cum laude from the University of Michigan. She started her career

Howard Brown:

as a reporter in Montana. And it's just been an amazing,

Howard Brown:

amazing thing. You have to play the cards that you're dealt, and

Howard Brown:

I'm building Humpty Dumpty version two Oh, again, and got

Howard Brown:

to see our little girl grow up. She climbs mountains, she snow

Howard Brown:

shoes, she ice climbs, and she's so good on camera. We watch her

Howard Brown:

on on the app every night. She's on air, but she's a good person.

Howard Brown:

She knows her values. She's also a tough kid. So watch her dad go

Howard Brown:

through this and have such a loving and smart mom to give her

Howard Brown:

a little softer side of things.

Howard Brown:

So boy I know I've given you the speed version here but I think

Howard Brown:

it's important to pay tribute to the dads out there. Be a good

Howard Brown:

dad be the best dad you can be. It's okay to be not perfect. You

Howard Brown:

know, I don't know that dad joke talking guy. But, boy. I'm a

Howard Brown:

hugger. And hugs me and everything. And I wish I could

Howard Brown:

hug you right now. I'm really miss you. But I am grateful.

Howard Brown:

lucky and blessed to be a dad. Thanks for listening. You can

Howard Brown:

find me at shining brightly.com and go have a great Father's

Howard Brown:

Day. And as we say in the cancer world, keep effing going kfg

Howard Brown:

love your Emily from mom and I you are our world. Happy

Howard Brown:

Father's Day 2023 to everybody. Thanks for for watching and