Father’s Day 2023 – being a DAD is the GREATEST HONOR for me! In Episode 31 of the Shining Brightly Podcast Show (links in the comments), I produce a solo show called my “Father’s Day Tribute – Our Miracle Girl” The story begins with lessons from my great grandmother Bubby Bertha Budish, Grandfather Papa Leo Brown, my dad, Marshall (Happy Father’s Day Pop) and mom, Nancy and wife Lisa. The family memories and values I carry forward about compassion, care, kindness and giving all matter! Facing a stage IV cancer diagnosis at age 23, having children was not on my mind but Dr Eric Rubin spoke to me about fertility treatments and scheduled an appointment to the cryogenic center before chemotherapy started. You will have to tune in to see how my fatherhood story plays out. Come listen, download, share and this amazing story of my life and the birth of our frozen kidcycle Emily Lauren Brown blessed our family.
Mentioned Resources
Website – www.shiningbrightly.com
Amazon – https://tinyurl.com/BuyShiningBrightly
Podcast - https://shining-brightly.captivate.fm/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/howard.brown.36
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/howardsbrown/
About the guest –
Howard Brown is a Silicon Valley entrepreneur, award-winning international speaker, inspirational podcaster, best-selling author of his memoir “Shining Brightly” and a two-time stage IV cancer patient, survivor, advocate and healthcare consultant. He shares the keys to leading a resilient life with hope that drives successful community leaders, business innovators and patient advocates. Be prepared to be inspired!
About the Host:
Howard Brown is a best-selling author, award-winning international speaker, Silicon Valley entrepreneur, interfaith peacemaker, and a two-time stage IV cancer survivor. He is also a sought-after speaker and consultant for corporate businesses, nonprofits, congregations, and community groups. Howard has co-founded two social networks that were the first to connect religious communities around the world. He is a nationally known patient advocate and “cancer whisperer” to many families. Howard, his wife Lisa, and daughter Emily currently reside in Michigan, and his happy place is on the basketball court.
Website: Http://www.shiningbrightly.com
Social Media
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/howard.brown.36
LinkedIn - https://wwwlinkedin.com/in/howardsbrown
Instagram - @howard.brown.36
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#fathersday #fathersday2023 #dads #family #daughters #sons #memories #miracle #invitrofertilization #celebrate #blessings #grateful #motivation #education #inspiration #book #speaker #podcast #download #share #reveiw #shiningbrightly
Hello, it's Howard Brown. Welcome to the Shining
Howard Brown:Brightly Show. You got me today, it's a solo episode in honour of
Howard Brown:Father's Day 2023. Let me first by giving a huge shout out to
Howard Brown:all the dads out there. Listen, it's an honour to actually be a
Howard Brown:dad. It's a privilege to be a dad, there's work involved. But
Howard Brown:listen, there's no better feeling than actually being a
Howard Brown:dad and growing a family. So we're going to talk about that.
Howard Brown:And we're gonna talk about my journey today. So this is a
Howard Brown:Father's Day tribute. And I'll start kind of some where values
Howard Brown:and influences started for me, and I was five years old, and my
Howard Brown:twin sister, CJ brown Jiang, Marissa and I were walking down
Howard Brown:the sidewalk with Barbie Bertha Buddhists who came over from
Howard Brown:Lithuania. What an amazing story for her to come over Orthodox
Howard Brown:Jewish, great grandmother, or Bobby. And she taught us some
Howard Brown:lessons. And those lessons were how to actually live a good
Howard Brown:life. And the word she taught us was has said, and has it in
Howard Brown:Hebrew means kindness. And she said, you can always be kind,
Howard Brown:living a life of kindness, it's a choice, and choose kindness.
Howard Brown:Really wise words there. The second word she chose was to
Howard Brown:live a life of giving. And in Hebrew, the word is sadaqa. And
Howard Brown:it's the justice of giving. And she said that you have to be
Howard Brown:able to give to others, there's less fortunate people out there.
Howard Brown:And giving is part of of a great life. And then lastly, she
Howard Brown:talked about healing yourself and then healing others and
Howard Brown:healing the world. And that word is called Hakuna Olam. And that
Howard Brown:is repairing and healing a broken world. And that is
Howard Brown:godlike. So those three lessons that we took from an early age
Howard Brown:of living a life of kindness, of giving, and then healing
Howard Brown:ourselves in healing others to repair a broken world is a good
Howard Brown:life. So I am just grateful for Bobby Bertha Buddha's to give us
Howard Brown:those lessons, those values to be able to take forth and try to
Howard Brown:apply on a daily basis. Next, there was Papa Leo Brown, my
Howard Brown:dad's dad, and he was graduated high school, but got drafted
Howard Brown:into World War Two and he served as a private first class in
Howard Brown:Italy. And what I observed from Papa Leo was that family first
Howard Brown:family was everything to him. They grew up in the Great
Howard Brown:Depression, we used to go shopping. And the big thing with
Howard Brown:Papa Leo is that if can with cans of corn were on sale. Okay.
Howard Brown:Now, at that time, they might have been a quarter a can and
Howard Brown:they were on sale for a few pennies last, he would stock up
Howard Brown:with cases, he didn't actually want to go short. So you can
Howard Brown:think about during COVID, those runs of toilet paper. He always
Howard Brown:wanted to have enough to provide for his family and not run out
Howard Brown:since he grew up fairly poorly. And he also was a hard worker.
Howard Brown:And I noticed that he used to actually sing a song to us that
Howard Brown:if you want to be the top banana, you got to start at the
Howard Brown:bottom of the bunch. So think about the memories from your
Howard Brown:grandparents that that actually were bestowed upon you and that
Howard Brown:you can remember today and then moving on to my dad, Marshall,
Howard Brown:Brown. Boy, listen, he was young man got my mom was 19. He was I
Howard Brown:think 22 years old, and they had twins. So my dad who had been
Howard Brown:the first person in our family to graduate college, the
Howard Brown:University of Bridgeport, I think in around 1964 and got
Howard Brown:married right away and had to go to work because we were born in
Howard Brown:St. Louis. He was there in a training programme. And then
Howard Brown:they moved us back to the Boston suburbs of Framingham, about 20
Howard Brown:minutes from Boston. And what I noticed growing up was that he
Howard Brown:was working to support his family. So he's a shoe salesman,
Howard Brown:on the road. And then on the weekends, you He was working in
Howard Brown:a shoe store, Al Bundy, right. And at nights he was working at
Howard Brown:the hostess, bakery shop, and obviously the plant, and he's
Howard Brown:making hostess cupcakes and Twinkies. And so my mom was
Howard Brown:taking care of twins, and he's working three jobs to make ends
Howard Brown:meet. And to give us a good life. And so that hasn't changed
Howard Brown:very much. My dad at 80 years old is still working. I don't
Howard Brown:think he's ever going to retire. But that's okay. But that value
Howard Brown:of work stuck with me. And he got to take us out on some road
Howard Brown:trips, and he valued that ability to be able to provide
Howard Brown:for his family. Now. I will tell you as we got older, even though
Howard Brown:he was working and on the road and away a lot when he was home,
Howard Brown:he was an active dad. So I will tell you that we sat out in the
Howard Brown:front yard in the driveway shooting baskets, and he would
Howard Brown:rebound with me for hours. I don't think I think he might
Howard Brown:have missed one game of my basketball career. In high
Howard Brown:school or in college. He made it his schedule around seeing me
Howard Brown:play and seeing my sister who did sports a little bit
Howard Brown:gymnastics, but very much a presence. Whether it was
Howard Brown:throwing the football around, or swimming in the pool, going to
Howard Brown:the gym playing tennis, jogging, we used to do a trail called
Howard Brown:Rudy the rabbit in our reservoir, narrow house, great
Howard Brown:memories of my dad. And so, quick story. My mom went to play
Howard Brown:mahjong with her girlfriends. And that's with tiles. It's I
Howard Brown:think it's a Japanese Chinese game. And my dad let us stay up
Howard Brown:late. So we got to stay up late. And my mom found out not too
Howard Brown:happy. So we gave him the best father award. It was like a
Howard Brown:little trophy we've made. And for years and years, we've
Howard Brown:always given them the best father award. So Dad, you get
Howard Brown:the best father award every year that that were around. So cool,
Howard Brown:cool stuff. Now, I want to talk about family tradition. Because
Howard Brown:oh my goodness, my grandparents, Lillian and Mike Shapiro, have
Howard Brown:blessed memory, started a tradition where they would pick
Howard Brown:us up on a Friday or maybe even a Thursday night. And we would
Howard Brown:drive to Long Island to Queens, and we would pick up my cousins.
Howard Brown:And they were, Michelle was one year younger, Doug was, I think
Howard Brown:four years younger, Michelle, and Douglas and CJ and I, and we
Howard Brown:would all be in a car together. These are like, bucket seats.
Howard Brown:I'm sorry, they were like bench seats. And so three in the back
Howard Brown:three in the front. And we would drive from New York City up to
Howard Brown:the Catskill Mountains. I think we started doing this gotta be
Howard Brown:like eight years old. And we did it to 18. And we go up to the
Howard Brown:Catskill Mountains, and they have all these hotels grows and
Howard Brown:grows, I'm not sure they're in business anymore. The Concord,
Howard Brown:the Homer whack. It was it was amazing. And we were there just
Howard Brown:with our grandparents, we had adjoining rooms that were
Howard Brown:connected, and we would get to go, my grandfather taught us to
Howard Brown:play golf. We were going swimming, and huge dining halls
Howard Brown:or rooms of meals. And we saw shows at night. And I think some
Howard Brown:of the time we'd cut out of the shows because it was a weird
Howard Brown:time to go to bed, keeping, you know, keeping us up late at
Howard Brown:night. But I think about all those special memories of the
Howard Brown:food and the fun that we had. And we sang songs together in
Howard Brown:the car to pass the time. My grandfather's favourite was You
Howard Brown:Are My Sunshine. And we sang John jingle John Jacob
Howard Brown:Jingleheimer. Schmidt,
Howard Brown:I mean, oh, my God, we have so many different types of songs,
Howard Brown:the wheels on the bus. And we're a little kids at the time. But I
Howard Brown:don't I think that the appreciation we got was that we
Howard Brown:actually had a family tradition that we would look forward to
Howard Brown:all year long. And, you know, meeting up with my remote
Howard Brown:cousins in New York, and then heading up to the Catskills, and
Howard Brown:we just didn't want it to end was so fantastic. And I want you
Howard Brown:to think about, you know, some family memories and traditions
Howard Brown:that you have for your families, too. And the great thing is, is
Howard Brown:that when my sister and I had kids, we're gonna get into that
Howard Brown:in a second. My parents started a tradition of taking everyone
Howard Brown:to their happy place called Ogunquit Beach, Maine. And so
Howard Brown:imagine flying everybody and we were in California some of the
Howard Brown:Time and then all in Michigan, flying to Boston, going to bobby
Howard Brown:Nancy's house and Papa Marsh's pool for the first night. And
Howard Brown:that was like a Thursday night and then Friday morning, we were
Howard Brown:up early. And we're all headed in the caravan like three cars,
Howard Brown:all the way up to Ogunquit Beach, Maine. And we would
Howard Brown:actually stay at the Aspen quit hotel, a bridge, walk from the
Howard Brown:beach, and then close enough to downtown Algonquin, where all
Howard Brown:the restaurants and the ice cream and all the shops were and
Howard Brown:we did this, oh my God, my parents were going up there for
Howard Brown:40 some odd years. We did this since our kids were born. And we
Howard Brown:missed a few because of COVID. And then we lived in California
Howard Brown:for a little bit but we got to go up there and the kids would
Howard Brown:go on the trolleys that we would walk to Perkins Cove, after
Howard Brown:dinner every night they got to my mom would take them to the
Howard Brown:candy store. Every morning my dad would go on to Dunkin Donuts
Howard Brown:run for everybody. So every morning it's Dunkin Donuts and a
Howard Brown:doughnut or a croissant and coffee and juice and all that.
Howard Brown:And then we would head down to the beach for the day. And
Howard Brown:living in the water freezing cold playing games, walking to
Howard Brown:different parts of the beach and then coming back after hopefully
Howard Brown:not being sunburned to swim in the pool and go to early dinner.
Howard Brown:My dad was like the kids got to eat at 530 was like clockwork.
Howard Brown:But another just family tradition and I'm just teasing
Howard Brown:you with the highlights. You can buy my book and you can you can
Howard Brown:read all the deets, but it was truly, really incredible. And I
Howard Brown:want to just call out some fatherly advice. So I had gotten
Howard Brown:to Connecticut College. It wasn't really the right fit for
Howard Brown:me. And my dad said you're taking summer classes, you're
Howard Brown:going to play basketball work and take summer classes at
Howard Brown:Babson College. And I did. And I found my place there at Babson
Howard Brown:the number one school for entrepreneurship, and it changed
Howard Brown:the trajectory of my life. So thanks, Dad, for really making
Howard Brown:sure that I was actually on the right track when I got off the
Howard Brown:track. So that's what dads do, right? And then after graduating
Howard Brown:Babson I started my career. And for those that know me, they
Howard Brown:know the story. But for those that don't. At age 23, and a
Howard Brown:half, I was diagnosed with stage four T cell non Hodgkins
Howard Brown:lymphoma. Now, during the headlights, yes, no internet, no
Howard Brown:cell phones, no real computer use. Dad, dad got a book on
Howard Brown:cancer. And we had to learn what was all about. But things were
Howard Brown:dark for me. And my mom and dad, I moved home. And we didn't get
Howard Brown:any good news. I was failing the therapies and things look really
Howard Brown:dark. And the only good news is my twin sister ended up being an
Howard Brown:exact bone marrow match stem cell transplant and roll the
Howard Brown:clock forward to May 24 of 1990. I had a bone marrow transplant a
Howard Brown:week before I had Rockem sockem chemo and full body radiation
Howard Brown:twice a day. And I was in an isolation room think boy in the
Howard Brown:bubble. And we were hoping to see if her bone marrow would
Howard Brown:work and not kill me right away. And we were hoping it did and it
Howard Brown:was infused in me. And her immune system became my immune
Howard Brown:system. Miracle number one. I mean, that's a one in 25,000
Howard Brown:chance of being a match. Incredible. I still can't fathom
Howard Brown:it. I mean, how blessed grateful and lucky was I and I went
Howard Brown:through a clinical trial and I got my life back. And I got to
Howard Brown:move to California and start to rebuild my mental toughness, my
Howard Brown:physical fitness, my confidence, working again, hitting the
Howard Brown:basketball court out and Marina del Rey with the ocean breeze
Howard Brown:right off the beach there. Oh, that was kind of cool. And then
Howard Brown:by adding community service into my life, I met my wife at the
Howard Brown:Jewish Federation of Los Angeles in 1993. And she, she said, You
Howard Brown:know what, we were actually at it like a college fair looking
Howard Brown:to volunteer in the community in the Jewish community. And she
Howard Brown:said you'd be a great Jewish Big Brother. And I signed up they
Howard Brown:did all the background checks and the fingerprinting and I got
Howard Brown:matched with a young man who was 10 young boy, Ian Ellis met his
Howard Brown:mom, Susan who's passed away a blessing memory and I became a
Howard Brown:big brother. And I learned a lot about being a big brother but
Howard Brown:really it translated into being My dad, because I was stepping
Howard Brown:in kind of for his dad that was in prison, and now passed away.
Howard Brown:And I learned so much about Ian and about his family and I had
Howard Brown:never had a little brother. And we got to experience life and
Howard Brown:wrap ourselves around each other. And what an amazing
Howard Brown:experience from playing chess on the beach to take him to his
Howard Brown:first concert, to flying out to San Francisco to spend weekends
Howard Brown:with us. And then as he progressed and went to college,
Howard Brown:at UC Santa Cruz and his master's at Florida State, and
Howard Brown:then he ended up going to Hastings Law School and got to
Howard Brown:stand up for ENN his wedding. He's now married to Sarah has a
Howard Brown:son noble, and in between that he stayed with us during his
Howard Brown:clerkship. And as he was came to Michigan and live with us for
Howard Brown:four months, and he got to play and meet Emily and play soccer
Howard Brown:with her. And she calls him uncle Ian, and he's a big part
Howard Brown:of our lives. And Ian's are no will our family with us. And so
Howard Brown:the lessons learned about some discipline, when and, you know,
Howard Brown:getting me in, on the right track was passed on from, as I
Howard Brown:said, from grandparents, to parents to me, and I was able to
Howard Brown:apply many of those lessons of my upbringing and values to Ian.
Howard Brown:And it's really special to watch him grow his family. Now, I will
Howard Brown:tell you that. So mentorship is leadership. And being the mentor
Howard Brown:being the mentee, the world is, he's a lot more of that, I will
Howard Brown:actually tell you that. And so next I met Lisa, and we had a
Howard Brown:Hollywood romance and a Hollywood wedding and shutters
Howard Brown:at the beach. And I one of the toughest conversations I had was
Howard Brown:had to tell her that I was infertile. And I had gone
Howard Brown:through a major cancer experience. And that could have
Howard Brown:easily, you know, pushed her away. But it didn't. I think she
Howard Brown:she embraced that. And she loved me more for that. When I
Howard Brown:disclosed that to her while we were dating, and we got married,
Howard Brown:and my career is booming. And the work in that community is
Howard Brown:doing going great. And we moved up to San Francisco Bay Area,
Howard Brown:Silicon Valley, as I'm a tech entrepreneur. And a couple of
Howard Brown:things that I forgot about, that you so easily do when you get
Howard Brown:sucked into the vortex is that my work life balance, I was a
Howard Brown:workaholic and I wasn't making enough time for me and and
Howard Brown:enough time for Lisa was fitting in the community service. But
Howard Brown:it's really easy to get get into that and get into that breezy
Howard Brown:pace. You know, I always say Silicon Valley two plus two
Howard Brown:equals 200 In the late 90s. And it was a fast pace. Every look
Howard Brown:left everyone's sprinting look right everyone sprinting. It
Howard Brown:doesn't make it right, but was sprinting. And I was able to be
Howard Brown:part of some public offerings and some, some good things in
Howard Brown:technology. And it was great. And I came home one night, and
Howard Brown:late, at least gave me an article that families that eat
Howard Brown:together and spend time together are more successful, at least
Howard Brown:and I work got married a little later in life. And we're, I
Howard Brown:think together probably seven years. And she said maybe it's
Howard Brown:time we we call for that sperm that donated back before I did
Howard Brown:any chemotherapy. And I want to definitely just divert to that
Howard Brown:for a second. So when I'm 23 years old, and you're told that
Howard Brown:you have stage four
Howard Brown:T cell non Hodgkins lymphoma, blood of your cancer of your
Howard Brown:whole lymphatic system, haven't haven't chosen wasn't on the
Howard Brown:mind. It was really in the front lines of am I going to live or
Howard Brown:die. And so I go through a lot of tests. And I come in for my
Howard Brown:first chemotherapy treatment. And in an amazing way. My liver
Howard Brown:function tests was too high. It was unsafe for me to do chemo. I
Howard Brown:was kind of knocked down from that because it was didn't sleep
Howard Brown:at all that night. I had no idea and if my liver function was
Howard Brown:good, I would have done chemotherapy but instead it
Howard Brown:wasn't. So either. Or quick thinking by Dr. Eric Rubin at
Howard Brown:Dana Farber Cancer Institute, my Harvard fellow or training or
Howard Brown:good doctoring or whatever you want to call it, God talking to
Howard Brown:all my who knows He told me to go to the cryogenic centre and I
Howard Brown:said cryo what is a sperm bank? And he said, You're not going to
Howard Brown:do chemo today. What do you got to lose? It might actually feel
Howard Brown:good, right? But um, so I went and I actually delivered a sperm
Howard Brown:sample. And I kind of forgot about it because I was fighting
Howard Brown:for my life. And you get a bill once a year, and you pay it. And
Howard Brown:so Lisa, and I called for that, that sperm. By the way, thank
Howard Brown:you, Dr. Rubin. Thank God, my God, you gave us a family. I'm
Howard Brown:more grateful and lucky for your wisdom. So we call for the
Howard Brown:sperm. And this is, you know, 1989. So we're now in 2000. It's
Howard Brown:11 years later. So we go to the fertility physicians in Northern
Howard Brown:California. And we meet and they take us through the process.
Howard Brown:It's an expensive process, it still might be today. And we had
Howard Brown:the sperm flown out to San Jose, California. Lisa, in the
Howard Brown:meantime, grew eight eggs. And the harvest when they took the
Howard Brown:eggs out of her, they looked and kept the best for and they
Howard Brown:defrosted sperm. This is a medical miracle number two here
Howard Brown:for me. And they took injected the best swimmer in those four
Howard Brown:eggs and then actually implanted them back and Lisa, and for the
Howard Brown:time being, we thought we're actually going to have twins,
Howard Brown:but it's truly amazing. On August 20 of 2001. At Stanford
Howard Brown:University Hospital,
Howard Brown:Emily Lauren Brown was born and made us parents made me a dad
Howard Brown:made Lisa a mom.
Howard Brown:Try not to tear up. Because that was an incredible, incredible
Howard Brown:day. She stayed in the NICU for a few days, and that was the
Howard Brown:healthiest baby there and got moved to a floor. My in laws
Howard Brown:bobbin Anita Naphtali happened to be there. And we're in the
Howard Brown:live birth. And we took Emily home was a dad. Think about
Howard Brown:that. It just could have been dead. And because of frozen
Howard Brown:sperm medical technology, I was able to become a dad. It was
Howard Brown:incredible. It was humbling. It was amazing. It was God blessed
Howard Brown:all of the above. So we took home Emily, and I was home for
Howard Brown:dinner a lot more. I kind of got off the bus of Silicon Valley,
Howard Brown:the pendulum swung the other way from the.com to the.com. And I
Howard Brown:started working at a nonprofit that I helped found and move
Howard Brown:forward called Planet jewish.com. which no longer in
Howard Brown:business, but it allowed me to be home for dinner and control
Howard Brown:my own schedule. Thanks Steve Kaufman, for that my partner in
Howard Brown:able to move that from an idea to reality to help help list
Howard Brown:Jewish events and get more people to involved in the Jewish
Howard Brown:communities that we brought it out and I think 30 communities
Howard Brown:the lesson for 17 years. So becoming a dad and Lisa was a
Howard Brown:stay at home mom. We got to do so much together by going to the
Howard Brown:park together and singing songs and watching Emily grow up and
Howard Brown:start to go to nursery schools and we move the whole band back
Howard Brown:to Michigan. And my sister called me said I'm moving to
Howard Brown:Michigan with her family and she had three children. She had
Howard Brown:Marley who's was age six, and Luke and Danny twins girl boy
Howard Brown:twins, that were age four. And at that time, Beth and Larry had
Howard Brown:my sister in law and that's half sister, Lisa's half sister Beth
Howard Brown:had two boys, Ben at age four exact age six. And they got to
Howard Brown:grow up together my in laws, Bob and Anita lived here in
Howard Brown:Michigan. My parents were in Boston that were closer, my mom
Howard Brown:was able to come out a lot more frequently and see the
Howard Brown:grandchildren. And it was amazing. And again, we're doing
Howard Brown:these trips to Ogunquit mostly around every July 4 every year.
Howard Brown:And the kids grew up together. And they went to lots of
Howard Brown:different events and got to see each other a lot and I thought
Howard Brown:that was really important. The old adage from Family First that
Howard Brown:that Papa Leo and my mom always said we are able to do that and
Howard Brown:and grow up together. And it was really, really a joy. And so we
Howard Brown:watched Emily go to school and then around age he started to
Howard Brown:get into soccer. And so being that my dad Add was at all my
Howard Brown:basketball games. I wasn't going to Miss Emily soccer games and
Howard Brown:was cheering her from the sidelines as she evolved and she
Howard Brown:got really good. And she started doing travel soccer. And if
Howard Brown:anyone doesn't know what travel soccer is on a national level,
Howard Brown:every weekend, from the start of soccer season in August, to the
Howard Brown:end of soccer season, if you're playing at the national level in
Howard Brown:July, it's all year round. And you're staying at a Holiday Inn
Howard Brown:Express, eating the same pancake batter and getting a juice and
Howard Brown:you're travelling with the other team parents, so you get to know
Howard Brown:them quite well. But Emily was all in on soccer. And she was a
Howard Brown:five foot four goalie she was really fearless and really good
Howard Brown:and training is four times a week, goalie training is another
Howard Brown:two times a week and then goalies play games and they
Howard Brown:rotate goalies a call it go need a goalie and you're playing
Howard Brown:games all the time. And so that dominated about 10 years of our
Howard Brown:life. And there was a recruiting process and all that. And I
Howard Brown:actually was the team manager for I can't remember two
Howard Brown:different instances for I think two or three years each. So
Howard Brown:that's the club, the soccer club liaison to the parents and to
Howard Brown:the players. So I got to do that. Unfortunately, at age 50,
Howard Brown:in 2016, I had a colonoscopy. This is my timeout period during
Howard Brown:the podcast to say, Go get screened for your mammography,
Howard Brown:your prostate, your colonoscopy or at at home test your cardio
Howard Brown:for your stress tests, go to the dentist, everyone's skip their
Howard Brown:appointments during COVID Go get screened. It is so much better
Howard Brown:than getting diagnosed with cancer or any other disease and
Howard Brown:going through chemo and surgeries and side effects and
Howard Brown:No, no reason to do that. Go keep your health up. Go Go get
Howard Brown:screened, please. So at age 50, I got diagnosed after
Howard Brown:colonoscopy a stage three with an eight and a half centimetre
Howard Brown:tumour in my cecum colon resection surgeries, chemo port,
Howard Brown:full chemotherapy cycles, more surgery, failed clinical trial
Howard Brown:metastatic stage four in July of 17. And again, lightning struck
Howard Brown:again. cancer stage four cancer for a second time. This time I'm
Howard Brown:you know a husband, a dad. And it's the digital age. So I'm
Howard Brown:looking for digital resources of support. But when you go
Howard Brown:metastatic and it spreads to your liver or your your stomach
Howard Brown:linings call your peritoneum and omentum and your bowel, your
Howard Brown:prognosis is in very good. You can Dr google it, it's 4% chance
Howard Brown:to live in like six to 12 months. And things were dark.
Howard Brown:And all I could think of was Am I gonna see Emily graduate high
Howard Brown:school, she was a freshman at the time. And I did not know. I
Howard Brown:had no idea. And in the stage for cancer world, we live with
Howard Brown:death. It's not that people give up it's their cancer burden
Howard Brown:comes to great and God calls them to have an only God knows
Howard Brown:your number. And I was still trying to be active, you know,
Howard Brown:in Emily's life. But there were times where I was bedridden. I
Howard Brown:was sick, I'm raging on steroids, puking my guts out
Howard Brown:going to the bathroom a lot. And there was there was lots of
Howard Brown:stuff that she watched her dad, you know, suffer, be in pain,
Howard Brown:and not be able to, you know, perform like I wanted to not
Howard Brown:working on disability. And she had to witness all that at a
Howard Brown:young age. And people would always ask her, you know how
Howard Brown:among Dillon, and it didn't ask her how she was doing. I feel
Howard Brown:bad about that. But we were on the firing lines. Again, Lisa
Howard Brown:stepped in as my caregiver and Superwoman and had to do
Howard Brown:everything, including arrays, Emily, and I participated where
Howard Brown:I could, especially on the soccer side, trying to get to as
Howard Brown:many games as I could. And as the team manager, I had other
Howard Brown:team dads Ross Leonard and others drag me and Dr. Emily to
Howard Brown:games that were all over the place. And you try to do the
Howard Brown:best you can and just get out of bed each day and get through the
Howard Brown:treatments get through the side effects. And this time I was a
Howard Brown:Marine on a mission. And I wanted to see Emily graduate you
Howard Brown:had to put that goal out there. And I did and although I allowed
Howard Brown:myself some time to be depressed, be angry. I never
Howard Brown:lost the four letter word that you need to take with you called
Howard Brown:Hope. Hope was that fuel that allowed me to keep going. And so
Howard Brown:via miracle number three I did a surgery called cytoreduction
Howard Brown:high pack, hyper intrapreneurial chemotherapy, so they cut me
Howard Brown:open, and they poured hot chemotherapy me in March of 18
Howard Brown:and 30. and a half hours later, I woke up in the ICU and pressed
Howard Brown:the morphine drip button and then began the healing process
Howard Brown:to see if they got all the cancer and that he did chemo had
Howard Brown:got the actual cancer, they couldn't see the microscopic
Howard Brown:cancer. And I am here to tell you today I'm almost four years
Howard Brown:no evidence of disease, getting towards the fifth year and
Howard Brown:hopefully remission. And I got to see MIT graduate high school,
Howard Brown:one of the proudest days of my life didn't even wasn't
Howard Brown:guaranteed, life's not guaranteed. And then I got to
Howard Brown:see her graduate college this December, she graduated summa
Howard Brown:cum laude from the University of Michigan. She started her career
Howard Brown:as a reporter in Montana. And it's just been an amazing,
Howard Brown:amazing thing. You have to play the cards that you're dealt, and
Howard Brown:I'm building Humpty Dumpty version two Oh, again, and got
Howard Brown:to see our little girl grow up. She climbs mountains, she snow
Howard Brown:shoes, she ice climbs, and she's so good on camera. We watch her
Howard Brown:on on the app every night. She's on air, but she's a good person.
Howard Brown:She knows her values. She's also a tough kid. So watch her dad go
Howard Brown:through this and have such a loving and smart mom to give her
Howard Brown:a little softer side of things.
Howard Brown:So boy I know I've given you the speed version here but I think
Howard Brown:it's important to pay tribute to the dads out there. Be a good
Howard Brown:dad be the best dad you can be. It's okay to be not perfect. You
Howard Brown:know, I don't know that dad joke talking guy. But, boy. I'm a
Howard Brown:hugger. And hugs me and everything. And I wish I could
Howard Brown:hug you right now. I'm really miss you. But I am grateful.
Howard Brown:lucky and blessed to be a dad. Thanks for listening. You can
Howard Brown:find me at shining brightly.com and go have a great Father's
Howard Brown:Day. And as we say in the cancer world, keep effing going kfg
Howard Brown:love your Emily from mom and I you are our world. Happy
Howard Brown:Father's Day 2023 to everybody. Thanks for for watching and