CHOOSE YOURSELF WITH TY PAIGE

Hello. It's Howard Brown. It's the Shining Brightly

Show. Oh my god, I have been waiting to have time masters as

my guest. How are you this morning, I'm

good. How are you?

I'm good. Oh my god. We have been friends for a

long time. We've been following each other and supporting each

other, and I just You make me so proud. You're so creative, your

perseverance is second to none, and you are just such a go

getter and brilliant. And I'm so thrilled we can chat it up

today. So but at first I'd like to do is just maybe share a

little bit of your bio. Tell people who you are,

sure. Sure. So I am a creative person to my core. I

wrote my first commercial when I was seven years old. I had a

newspaper column of my very own at nine, I was Gosh. I had my

very first job as a graphic designer in 1996 for a newspaper

and made five bucks an hour just scanning in photos and editing

them. And I think we're talking like Photoshop 2.0 which ages me

a bit. That's okay. I just have always been a creative person,

and so now at 28, years later, I have really evolved into a what

I like to call sort of the inappropriate copywriter. So I

can write things that I like to write, creative things that

really grab people's attention. And, you know, marketing,

advertising, branding, that's just sort of who I am. But at

the base of it all, I'm a writer. So that's a little bit

about my background,

actually. Like to add that you're a creative

genius, so because I've seen your work, and I've worked with

you, and we've done projects together, so All right, so in

alliance, in accordance with the show here, how, how are you

shining brightly each day? So

shining brightly has been a little bit of a challenge

in the last few years, but I try to spend my days thinking

through some of the ups and downs of life, and making sure

that I learn from the lessons of the downs and the ups, and

sharing those lessons with the world, however, I possibly can,

whether that's writing things down and evolving those, those

new things, into something that can share on my social media,

writing books, you know, just expressing my creativity for a

client or for a brand that's trying to grow their business.

That's, that's kind of how I that's how I try to shine

brightly every day.

And I can tell, because I see your social posts,

and sometimes you are just pushing the envelope a little

bit. You're challenging people's status quo. And you know what? I

love it. It's great. And most of all, you're actually growing

yourself so you can actually help others. And that's, that's

what I see, and that's, that's the beauty of your shining

brightly as well. So you shared a little bio, but you know what?

You didn't have it easy growing up. So if you'd like to share a

little bit about your growing up story, and you know, you've been

through a lot, and tell us just, you know a little bit about

that, sure.

Wow, I could start before I was ever even born. My

biological parents were not in a very good place when I was

conceived, and so my mom had decided that the best I the best

option for her, was to have an abortion. And I'm not going to

get into the details on that, but it's a fateful story,

though. It is interesting how she drove to Michigan to have

that abortion, and I ended up living here because she was in

West Virginia at the time, so it's kind of strange that I

ended up living in Michigan and calling Detroit home when she

literally drove to Allen Park from Huntington, West Virginia

to have an abortion on me. Long story short, didn't work. I'm

here, and she calls me her miracle now. But that you know,

finding that out was definitely it was an interesting I had to

really think that through, you know, it was a it was a lot for

a teenager to learn that, you know, her mom didn't really want

her, but I understand the circumstances. So there's that.

And then, you know, as a child, my parents got divorced when I

was very young, he was abusive. My biological father was then

she moved on to someone else who was also abusive in all forms,

from emotional, verbal, physical and sexual. When my family and

I, my mom and my sister and I were nine, we escaped him and

moved to Carolina from West Virginia. That was a midnight

move. We couldn't. Tell anyone where we were. It was very scary

for me at 910, years old, starting over in life, I was

then bullied through middle school for getting, gosh, to me

more, had the cutest haircut in Ghost and so I wanted to have my

hair cut just like hers. I got bullied and tortured every

single day for an entire year for having this, like short what

I thought was cute haircut, that was a struggle just being a

teenager and trying to thrive with my creativity. And you

know, in school, being bullied is never fun. And then, you

know, I met a man when I was in my late teens, and he was the

love of my life. He moved me here to Michigan, and so

fortunate, I was able to call Michigan home at that point

forward, um, unfortunately, that didn't work out. But then I met

someone else who I did marry, um, who, excuse me, who kind of

drugged me. Nope, we gotta cut that out. He, I met, I met

someone else in 2016 who loved bombed me and was quite the

narcissist. You know, the relationship lasted about three

and a half four years, and I had to really go back and start

questioning some of the decisions I was making in terms

of my relationships, because of the childhood trauma that I

experienced, and although I felt like I was very strong and

smart, I was making some pretty poor decisions with whom I

allowed to enter into my life intimately. And so I have now

spent the last five years single on purpose, and choosing myself

instead of anyone, anyone else. So that's kind of

through a lot. You've really been through a

lot. You have a ton of resilience. Some of the best

things that I love is that when you chose yourself right, you

went on these trips, you actually went to what, three or

four or five different trips like Europe, and you just came

back from what, from Germany. I mean, I love that, because you

had the confidence to travel and meet and explore different

cultures and foods. And I actually think that was your

expression and your freedom. And I just was following you along

all your breadcrumbs of where you were going. I

know it's so funny when I think back to how you

know, in my previous relationships, if I wanted to go

somewhere and they couldn't afford it, or they were, you

know, unsure I would do anything and everything in my power to

make sure that they could go with me, so that I so that I

wouldn't have to go alone. I was so dependent on having someone

by my side that I would pay for them to go, or I would, you

know, convince them, or just Yeah, and now I know if you

can't go, I'll go by myself, because I have taught myself

that solo experiences are so gratifying and just insanely

awesome. I love, I love going places by myself. Now it's

scary. I may not ever want to go anywhere with someone again.

We'll see. I want to tell you that because I've

been, you know, when you had your creative agency, I got to

see you on display, and you know, you had teams, and you did

so much great work. And I have to tell you, that's when I first

met you. I was so impressed your confidence and actually be able

to lead teams and be able to really get very sophisticated

creative projects done. So I that was my first introduction

to you, and I was like, Who is this whirlwind? Okay, who is

this creative that just really just brings it. And I've seen

you present to, you, know, to corporate boardrooms and

executives, and then to deliver that creativity. So that was my

first impression of you. So I had no idea. I learned over time

some of the hardship that you've been through and some of the

true resilience that you had to display and things like that as

well. But I do, I want to just touch, and I know this is

somewhat a little bit painful, but you met, and I don't know if

this is from your father or just judgment for such an intelligent

girl, you met a couple guys there that just trashed you. And

I felt sad when I was part of you and confidant for you and

listening to you, I was really sad, and I was trying to give

you good advice, but I think you had to kind of go through it. So

we want to touch upon that a little bit, the gas lighting,

the cheating, the abuse.

Yeah, it's really simple. Honestly, when I wrote

my book, I had to associate. Appreciate myself with that

little girl, because that's something that I had never done

before. I always looked at that little girl that went through

all that crap and said, That's not me. I know who that little

girl grows up to be, and that's not me, because I had found a

lot of success for myself and being smart and intuitive and

just very optimistic. I didn't want to associate with that

little girl, but then when I wrote my book, I kind of had to,

and it made me realize I had false beliefs of love all this

time because the people that were hurting me the most when I

was a little girl, were telling me that they loved me. So then,

as an adult, although I am very smart and I'm not, you know, I'm

not going to let somebody beat me or, you know, there are the

obvious types of abuse, but then there are these subtle ones that

I didn't know much about. I gotta be honest, I didn't even

know what a narcissist was, until about three or four months

after my marriage, I started Googling some of the things that

were happening, and that word kept popping up, and then I

thought, Oh, bad word. I think I married a narcissist and the gas

lighting didn't know what that was. Either he taught me a lot,

you know, I mean, am I Do I regret the marriage or the the

the courtship and everything? I can't really say that I regret

it, because, although he never put his hands on me, there are

subtle there are more subtle forms of abuse that were present

in that I don't wish him ill will. I hope he's fine and

great, and I hope that he has changed and learned and grown

from the experience of being married to me, because he did

not treat me very well. It was like he wanted to look married,

but act single, and I was just living under these false beliefs

of love, because that's what I learned as a little girl. Oh,

you know what, I love you, but I'm going to hurt you. And so I

thought, well, these things, you know, they're, they're

reminiscent of what I was taught. So I had to really dig

deep and challenge those false beliefs of love and create a new

system for myself in my mind, like, what is my belief in this

moment, and what is the action that I'm going to take based on

that belief? And then what can I do to challenge it? Because it's

obviously not the right action or possibly the right belief, so

and then, of course, there was Brockman, I can say his name

now, who was physically abusive to me and a liar and I mean all

the he psych, psycho. I mean, that's all I can say.

Fortunately, that was a very short relationship a few months.

I'm not going to stand for that. I feel bad for some of the other

women who were with him for much longer, believing that he would

change and wanting that fairy tale love to come out with the

you know, within him that'll never happen. He is an abusive

monster. The Courtship was four or five months with me. The

first time I saw it, I planned my exit. I got out, but he still

came back and he just, you know, I pressed charges against him.

Unfortunately, he's not in jail, which is where he belongs, but

that was the final straw for me. I'm like, That's it. I'm

literally taking the time. I took a year off in between the

divorce and and Brett. Five months later, I, since March of

2021, I have not dated, been in a relationship nothing I've been

focused on me challenging those false beliefs of love and

getting myself back on track to love myself and heal and grow

personally so that I can make healthy decisions in my next

relationship.

I want to tell you how proud I am for you. So in my

book, I I relate darkness to that what you've just been

through. I've been through darkness, through cancer and

other things that people have been through, trafficking, and

the bad stuff is darkness. And you can't stay there too long,

okay, because other Malays happen. So some people drink too

much, some people start to drugs. They they become abusive,

and so I'm so proud of the progression that you've made to

focus inward, focus on yourself and come out of this learning

and making better choices and shining. And that's that's

mostly I'm proud about. But here's one of the things that I

have to ask because how you are such a powerhouse creative and a

writer, you cranked out three amazing bestseller books, and

like, I think a day or two, I know it was more than that, but

please talk. Tell me about the books. Tell me about what they

meant to you. Share just a tease, because I want people to

buy. Your books. And, you know, I came to your book launches,

and I don't know how you do it. It's incredible talent that you

can write this well, and then it's great. So let's talk about

the books.

Sure. So the first book I wrote was the memoir of

overcoming all these challenges. And, you know, choosing myself.

It's literally like, stop choosing the wrong people and

start choosing yourself. So that was the premise of my first

book, and it's non fiction. It's helping 1000s of people all over

the world heal and grow challenge their own false

beliefs. And, you know, start traveling the world by

themselves and take those steps of, you know, a step into the

unknown, if you will, because it's very uncomfortable. And so

that book is called f you watch this, and I wrote and published

that in three weeks. Well, okay, I didn't publish it in three

weeks. I wrote it in three weeks. It then went through

editing and whatnot, but I it was the most exciting thing I've

ever done in my life. Honestly, I have to

tell you, the title is so provocative, it's

amazing. I'm gonna people have to go and find you on Amazon or

contact you directly to your website and be able to get it

incredible. I have to tell you that I just looked and you have

1000s of reviews that you've helped so many people. Okay,

you've really done that and that I'm so proud of you because you

took your crap experience your learning and how you healed, and

you've given people a pathway forward, and you should be

That's how you're shining brightly. It's beautiful. So so

then you went and decided to write another book. I

did. I just my imagination is constantly firing

on all the cylinders, all of them constant. If you saw my

notes app on my phone, you know nobody could ever figure out

what is going on in my head. So I after writing and publishing

my first book, I loved it so much, and it felt so rewarding

to hold my own book in my hand. I was crying. It was just the

best day ever. And And while the next two books that I've written

are fiction, I do draw some from my own experiences. There's

inspiration from my own experiences injected throughout

these fiction books. But I just, you know, I had to do it. So I

wrote two fiction books. The first one is called the wrong

secret, and it is just, you know, I had this idea in my head

thinking, I wonder what would happen if you know a best

selling author and an up and coming actress somehow got

together. But what drove them to get together? Ooh, maybe there's

a secret. Maybe there's a black mail mission. Okay, that's how

that one kind of came to play. And it's got twists and turns

that you would never see coming like and the ending is just

what. It's definitely a mind blowing, sort of psychological

there's a little bit of smut warning people ahead of time.

Some people don't like that, but little bit. So there's that one,

and then that one inspired me to write another one. And the third

book that I have is called with one eye open. It is the

manuscript from the wrong secret. Now you don't have to

read one in order to read the other. They're not connected in

any way except the manuscript that's in question for the wrong

secret. I thought it would be really neat to just publish a

book and title it the same as the manuscript from the wrong

secret, and so, with one eye open, follows a young girl who

has tragically died, and the detective worked behind it. So

it's sort of a crime thriller novel with a really good, heart

wrenching ending that you will not see coming. I'm writing

right now. I don't know. I

know you probably. I was gonna say, How many more

books do you have going on at once? But no, they're very

entertaining. Their page turning you keeps you guessing. You're

trying to piece it together, take and you want to get to the

end. I love I love them all. It's really amazing. And that's

such so creative. As far as you wrote, you know, kind of this

memoir, a little bit the f you watch this, but that it just

sees how your brain works and things like that. And I, I want

to. Tell you that people, people need to bring you in to book,

sign, to speak, this actual book. That's really funny. If

you watch this. I actually got more out of it. As a man. I got

lessons learned about how actually what not to do, yep,

and reflect on how I actually can, you know, be masculine, be

a gentleman, okay, not be an a hole. So I that's, that was my

takeaway from it. So it was really great, and I appreciate

that

either I've had a lot of men right, who said the same

thing, like, wow, I've actually really learned about how we need

to be a little, you know, just be nicer to women and really

watch what you say, watch what you do. You know, we've a lot of

women have been through a lot, yeah, in their lives, and I

think it's important for men to not take it, so I'm trying to

think of the right word. There's, you know, women, and

it's not just women men too. Like men have been through a lot

like we just need to be kinder and really be a little more

aware of how we're treating other people and what is our

motive behind why we treat someone the way we treat them.

It's really something to think about.

Yeah, so in the first chapter of shining

brightly. My 100 year old great grandmother said very simply,

you have the ability every morning to choose kindness, to

choose giving, to choose healing, to choose gratitude, to

choose joy, to choose not to hate. Am I going to add this for

us not to choose to be an a hole? So you have the power in

you. We all do, right? We have the power to do that. So it's,

it's really quite amazing. And so that's the thing that I think

that we need to get you on stages and and me to be able to

teach people, help people move forward. And I know you're

continue to do that. And four books in the you know you're

working on is absolutely incredible. So this is the part

of the show. Ty I'm gonna ask you to put on your sunglasses,

okay? Because we are going to shine our light around the world

and to each other, right? Put them on, woo hoo, right? And I

want people to tell them how best to get a hold of you. And

if you have, we're going to end the show with some inspiration.

I want you to give me a quote, or give me a lesson learned, and

and then we're going to kick that. You'll kick the show up,

back to me. Close.

It froze. Sorry. So,

so, so the first thing is to tell me how to get a

hold of you. The best way to get a hold of you,

sure. So all of my social media handles are the

same. It's Tyler page, t y L, A R P, A, I G E. My books are

available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble Target, Walmart, etc. Same

Tyler page, T Y, l, a, r, p, a, i, G, E,

and I just want to tell you that people should look

to you for creative. You are incredible. You You run teams,

and you produce just excellent results. And I just want people

to know that contact Ty, because she knows what the hell she's

doing in this greatest space in the world of writing and to make

you stand out. Make your brand stand out. Make your and you and

you love doing it and and you're clearly really good at it. So

kick off an inspirational quote, an inspirational quick story.

Tell Tell me something inspirational so we can shine

brightly with the world. Okay,

my my favorite quote is something that I said back

when I was 17 living in my car. I just said, I'm not going to

let my past or my present define my future. I feel like that's

probably been said by other people in this life, but it

really hits home. If you just you know, whatever you've been

through, or whatever you're going through, don't let it

define your future.

It's it's beautiful. And as I say many

times in my book and on all my podcast, is that we we we all

get knocked out in life and in business and in health and in

relationships, and we have to get back up again. And how we do

that is allowing people to share their light with us, to rekindle

our flame, and then we go help others, and You are the epitome

and the example of that. I'm so proud to call you a close, dear

friend. And only great things are coming and more books are

coming as well. So you've been listening and watching the

shining brightly show I am grateful for 262 1000 downloads

of this podcast because we are helping people. You are tuning

in every Wednesday, and I'm just grateful for that. Let me thank

front edge publishing, who makes me look good. And then read,

read the spirit magazine, which I blog month before. Also

amplify you. This my podcast, finishing house that makes these

shows look great and creates all the beautiful assets. And then

diamond moments magazine, which I feature a podcast and a blog

in every month as well, and then also speak, inspire and prosper,

share and love. She's just became a sponsor of the show as

well. And so my what I want people to understand is that you

can reach me@shinybrele.com and you can actually learn about the

book. You can learn about my speaking and hire me. And we're

getting a special guest, boogs is in the house, and we might

have to take a picture of that after but you'll find

me@shiningbreadly.com the book, the podcast, my speaking, Let me

shine brightly for you, virtually or in person, make

your event shine. And then also my advocacy. I work very hard to

help lift up others in the cancer world by making sure they

get screened. If they're in treatment, we get them at

Calvary to support them and in survivorship, was actually hard

putting Humpty, Dumpty back together again, my

entrepreneurial ship with Babson College and lifting up young

students that want to make it change this world. That's That's

my passions in the world. So remember, if we choose, okay,

even even Eva books, to shine brightly, just a little bit each

day for ourselves. Okay, light your light. Your light first.

Okay, then go. Lift up others. We become a force multiplier for

change and positivity and good in this world, in our

communities, and we do make the world a better place. Tyler

page, it was so great to have you. I'm thrilled. Amazing

episode. I only wish you the best and the brightest, and

remember, you've got a big fan in your court. Thank you. Thank.