Learning to 'Heal' (Part 1)

Hi there, you're listening to the shift to your bliss podcast series. If you're in your 30s and beyond, with some life experience, and you're looking indeed searching for more in your life, your work and your career, then you're in the right place. In this podcast series, we will show you how to shift to your bliss. My name is Dr. Sheila Jagger. I'm a world traveler from Machu Picchu to the pyramids of Egypt. I've studied alongside Thomas Leonard, Bob Proctor being Grazi, OC, and Deepak Chopra. And after five decades, I created my very own formula to help you shift to your bliss. Welcome to the podcast series shift to your bliss. Are you ready? Let's dive in.

Hello, thanks for coming back. This is episode three. And today what we're going to talk about is the heal piece of the shift to your bliss formula. Before I get into that, what I'd really like to do is just go back and spend a few minutes on the story. Because the story is the basis for all of this. There are some key features to the formula, actually. And when we think about the story, what we really need to understand is what was the experience of the story? What really happened? What was the incident? What was the conversation, perhaps. So when I think of what was the incident that happened for me, in my story about not being smart enough, it was being moved from the high school from one high school over to the Catholic High School, then what happened in that experience was the impact that had on me. And the impact it had was that I moved away from my friends, I had to start in a new place. It was different to anything I'd been to before because it was a religious based organization. And the interesting thing about this is that I then started to create my own impact to this, I was being punished, I was being told to go there because I had been bad and, and so that helped to play into the story. There was confusion about it, for sure. I didn't understand why something that drastic had to happen. But I guess my mom and dad did. And then the message that came out of that, for me was that if you don't do this properly, then what's going to happen next, and so you start to behave yourself, and you follow the pattern. And then the final thing is the hero or heroines journey. And for me, the hero's journey, started when I had the mentor from the hospital. And she convinced me that I should take on these challenges of going back to school of, of, you know, doing the things that I would never have thought of doing, because of the story in my head.

So when you think of your story and the story that you're working on, through this series, what I'd really like you to do is step back now and think, Okay, I've defined the experience, I've started to think about the impact, although the impact could be much bigger than you think it is. Now, what was the message that I was receiving and at the time, and then what did I continue? And what did my wonderful brain add to that and embellish the message. And then the final thing is the hero or heroines journey. Now you may not have solved the story. That's why we're here. So know that these pieces we're going through are going to take you through the hero or heroines journey. And today, when we start to talk about heal, we start to talk about what has to change, what is it that needs to change in the story so that you can move forward? What is it that is going to challenge you to change something so that you can move forward without having that story holding you back? Without having that story be the pattern of what you're doing. So when we think about our story, first of all, we need to acknowledge the story for the gift that it brought to you remember, the story isn't there to hurt you. The story is there to help you. What happens in our lives is that we use the story in a way that is not necessarily helpful. So we have gifts all of us. You know, the other day I was talking to my colleague Jonathan and we're talking about gifts and talents that people have and some people have a gift of art. Some people have a gift of music. There's some people have a gift of public speaking. Some people have a gift of being able to look at a problem and solve it. because they have such problem solving capability, it's a gift. And you know, we've seen young children who are truly gifted musicians at a very young age, we've also seen people who are very gifted at sports. And part of this is, what is it, that is the gift that your story is keeping you away from.

So if I had listened to my story, and had allowed the story to forever run my life, I would never have been able to teach, I would never have been able to do the work that I do now. And I certainly certainly would not have had my own business. Nor would I have been able to go to school and learn all the wonderful things that I learned, be grateful for the story. Because you know, even though it may be difficult, and even though it may bring back bad memories, it is a story and the story can be changed. You know, we see this all the time, when we're watching movies, we think that the story is going down this path, and then all of a sudden, that takes a turn, well, that's what you're going to be doing, you're going to be taking a turn in your story. And you're going to be able to establish the story as being of service to you, and not a problem for you. So as we start to think about this story, being in service to you, what would you have to do to allow for that story, to have a different influence? You know, Napoleon Hill, said that out of every adversity, every failure, there is an opportunity for us to, you know, receive even greater benefit than what the difficulty was, what the heartache was, what the what what we really looked at, in terms of this is horrible, this is awful, you know, I think about how we take a look at stories that we tell them about our lives. And the truth is, we've created those stories, and we've created them to be much bigger than they actually are. So what I'd like you to do is take a deep breath, because we're going to dive into this now. And what I'd like you to do, first and foremost, is forgive yourself, for the story that you believe is held you back. For some reason, you need it the story, it's okay. It's all good. Just remember that life is a journey. And this story is a part of it. If I hadn't had the story I had, I wouldn't be where I am. Now, you know, when you think behind every adversity, and you think about every heartache, there is something you take away from it. And if you learn from it, and move on, you can get equal or greater benefit from it. Napoleon Hill wasn't far off, when he said that, you know, sometimes, the adversities that we've that we run into in our life, sometimes the adversities that are thrust upon us, or the adversities we need in order to move forward. I know that is certainly true in my life. So my story gave me the excuse to hide away from scholastic excellence, and not reach my potential when I had a mentor who believed in me, believed that I could do almost anything I wanted to do. It didn't my story didn't stop me for long when she said, You need to go back to school. I don't think you say no to the VP nursing. And so I went to school.

But here's the key, I loved it. It was the one thing that I could really understand. Okay, so sometimes going to school doesn't have to be painful. Sometimes you can learn new things. Even when I graduated with a doctorate, I have to tell you, I still had the story playing in my head. And I remember graduation day, and standing up there receiving my doctorate and thinking to myself, Is this really me? Is this somebody else? And the truth of the matter is I had a faculty member who was on my committee who said to me at the end of the, the Well, we do what we do is we do a, an opportunity for people from the school to come and listen to your dissertation and to ask questions. And it's your defense. Hmm, strange word, defense of your dissertation. At the end of my defense, one of my committee members came up to me and said, and now you have to go forward and teach, you've been given a great gift of being able to go to school to learn and to grow, and you need to go out and share that with others who would love to have done what you did, but for some reason, have not, could not so you need to go teach. I looked at her and said teach. What I didn't remember was that I had been a swimming teacher, an instructor for years, for years. I mean, who knew for years, I had been a teacher too. So she said, You need to go forth and teach. So sure enough, I followed what she said. And I went and taught it to universities and, and a college. And I think I teach every day, every day that I am working with a client every day that I'm working with an organization I'm teaching, isn't that interesting? The person who thought they weren't scholastically capable, is now teaching part of this is about being able to stand back and say to myself, Wow, was I wrong? My story was not true. And forgive myself for living the lie of the story, because it suited me at the time it served me at the time, it no longer serves me. You need to be patient and empathetic with yourself. I can tell you what I first realized that story wasn't true. It was a shock to me. And the longer it became more evidence that it was not true. The more I had to be patient with myself, and understand that moving away from the story was okay, it wasn't dangerous. It wasn't wrong. It just was, when I gave you all those questions around the story, I wanted you to take a really good look at the stories that have been stopping you in your life. What we're going to do now is we're going to map out your story and get to the healing part.

So I have created 10 different questions for you. And what I'd like you to do is I'd like you to answer the questions. And when you answer the questions, it will help you to reveal more of your story to yourself. But it also then set you up for the heal process you need to decide to take care of with yourself. You know, self care is one of those things that so important in our lives that we don't do. But as you reveal this, understand that sometimes your story has been so embedded that you actually do believe it. And when you start to unravel it, it will be difficult. Be patient with yourself. That's okay. I never said it was going to be easy. And by the way, when things are easy, does that mean that they're really as valuable as the things that you really have to be challenged for and the things that you really have to work at. So here's what I'd like you to do. And here's your homework for the week, what I'd like you to do is go to shift to your bliss.com, download the questions and spend some quiet time completing them. And I mean that sincerely quiet time completing them, and then decide how you're going to care for yourself. What are you going to do? You know, it's interesting, a lot of my friends will say, Well, why do you go through so many walks? Well, I go for walks because it clears my head. And I'm being kind to myself, figure out what it is that you have to do to be kind to yourself, so that while you're doing this process, you are taking care. I'll see you next session. Right back here. Remember, we're working progress, and we're on a journey and the journey is continuing. I'm Dr. Sheila until the next time shifters, get out there and find your bliss. Bye bye.