Turning Doubt into Power: Crack the Code of Reaching Your Goals-Ep.184

Hey welcome to she coaches, coaches, I'm your host, Candy Motzek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity, confidence and courage to become the coach that you were meant to be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to talk all about mindset and strategies and how to, because step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and confidence to take action. Let's get started. Welcome to the show, if this is the first time you're tuning in, or if you're a regular listener, welcome, I am so pleased you're here. Now, I'm recording this episode on February 1. And one of the things that I've really noticed is that my clients and those around me, many of us have lost some of that new year new you steam. I know that I struggle with this from time to time to we've passed Blue Monday. That's the saddest day of the year. And that was January the 15th. And I can see that the days are finally getting longer. I don't know about you, but I find these dark days of winter trying, I take my daily dose of vitamin D. And for sure it does help. But really, I celebrate when I noticed those days getting a little bit longer each day. This morning, the sun rose here at 7:41am. I compare that to the shortest day of the year. And that was the day that the sun rose at 8:04am. That is a huge difference. It's almost half an hour. And it makes me feel excited, because I know Spring is coming. So I want to talk today about goals. It's February 1, it's kind of a weird day to talk about goals. But there's a reason behind why I want to talk about this with you today. As I said earlier, that New Year New you vibe is wearing thin. All those New Year's resolutions and new year goals. They're starting to wane. Anyone who set a goal is now faced with a choice every day, do I keep striving to reach the goal? Or do I just let it go by the wayside? If that's you, don't worry. That's why I'm here recording the episode. You can save this one and come back and listen to it anytime that you set a goal. You know, when we find that you've lost some interests, maybe your enthusiasm is waning, or you're just playing for God about the goal in the busyness of your life. But before we go any further, it's time for the review of the week. I love reading your reviews, and I love giving prizes. So this is something new that I'm doing on the show and I get to combine both. It's a special thank you to those of you who take the time to rate and review my show. Every week, I'll be reading one of your reviews from Apple podcast. And if it's yours, you get a prize. To claim your prize, either send me a DM or an email at info at Candy Motzek.com. And you can DM me on Instagram at Candy Motzek as well. And then your prizes. You get to ask me one big, juicy question, that most pressing question that you have about becoming a coach signing clients, anything to do with becoming a coach. And I'm going to answer your question personally. I'm going to do a recording. And I'm going to answer it thoroughly just for you. I know you're busy, and it takes time to leave a review. So I really want to thank and reward those of you who make the effort. Thanks so much. So this week, it's a five star review and it's titled Great insights, great insights candy, useful for aspiring and struggling coaches, encouraging as you set realistic expectations and goals while staying true and positive to the foundation of coaching. If that's your review, thank you. I am so beyond grateful that you listen to the show and that you took the time to write such a kind review. Now to collect your prize. Send me a DM on Instagram at Candy Mote SEC or email me at info at Candy Mote sec.com Let me know the username that you used to leave that review and then you get to choose what cool question want to ask. And I will send you a nice long recording with your answer. Anybody else who wants to win, all you have to do to enter the drawing is write a review on Apple podcast, you only need to enter it once, and you're in the draw forever. I encourage you to listen in next week to find out if I read your review. So now, let's dive into today's episode. Isn't it fun to set goals? I don't know about you. But I get a rush. When I set a goal. I enjoy the dreaming the creating the plan, thinking about what it's going to be like when I achieve it. Sometimes I use a spreadsheet to map it all out, I map out that project plan. I know, I know, that's a little geeky. But you know what spreadsheets really work for me. This past week, we were reviewing our progress on our goals in the coaching Success Circle. We're one month into the first quarter. So we took some time to see how things are going, what's going well what needs to be tweaked. Are they on track or not? Do they need to adjust their approach all of those things, we talked it all through, and now they're ready for the next month in the quarter. Now, if you haven't heard, the coaching Success Circle is my group program for coaches. I have got some amazing people in there. If I had to, I would call them all high achievers with art. And I am so thrilled to be working with them. We get together weekly for coaching, support, encouragement, co working, as I'm to learn the strategies that you need to sign clients and grow a thriving coaching business. I'll put the link in the Episode notes so you can find out more. So the thing is setting a goal, planning a goal. All of those things come with that feel good rush of dopamine, that's one of the drivers of the New Year New you rush. You know what I mean? You choose something dreamy, something fun, something inspiring, and you get your hopes up? Yes, this is the year that I am going to make that dream come true. You know, I am saying that a little tongue in cheek, but only a little. Because at the heart of it. This is actually what we're hoping. So what happens, we do the planning, we create the milestones, we set the dates by which each will be accomplished. And now it's time to do the work. Some things go as planned or making progress. Excellent. And some things don't. A potential client says I think I'll wait or consult your account counting on doesn't show up. You invite everyone to your new coaching program, and only a handful show up. In other words, life happens. It is so easy to lose motivation. It's easy to feel disappointed when you lose momentum. And then you start to look at that goal. And you think Ah, maybe I set my sights too high. Maybe I'll scale it back a little to something more reasonable. Or you distract yourself in the busyness of life. And suddenly you forget, you even set that goal. So then what do you tell yourself? Something's wrong with me. I'm not a goal setter, I can achieve goals. I'll never get there. I'll never reach that goal. And then maybe you give up. Now, it's February. And that may be exactly the situation you find yourself in. If you are listening to this live and that sounds like you dust your goal off, listen on, I want to encourage you to keep going. Now, here's the thing I want you to hear this is normal. This self doubt this falling by the wayside. This forgetting this losing our motivation. It is completely normal. You are normal. Ups and downs are normal. When you start to feel discouraged, or maybe you kind of doubt yourself, know that this is a completely human and normal reaction.

And what is the most important is what you do next. So it's got four tips for you to help you along with that. What next? What do you do next to not quit on yourself and to not quit on your goals? So the first tip is I want you to start with acknowledging that this is normal. It's normal for people to get excited about setting a goal and making a plan and it's all also normal for you to lose steam when you run into a hurdle or two along the way. And maybe to experience self doubt, that's normal too. When it comes to becoming the person who actually creates that goal. You've got an entire planner industry built on this human tendency. I just checked on Amazon. And did you know that there are over 10,000 results for the search term planners for 2024 and 1000, more than 10,000 That is a planner industry. They love it that we want to set goals that we want to get that rush and make that plan. So tip number two, realize that to create that goal, you're going to need to change and grow. You'll need to become the person who creates that goal. And that emphasis is on the word become your current self has created this life, your current life that you've got to have more to have better, you've got to grow, you have to stretch and guess what? Growing takes effort, energy, stretching, discomfort. Remember, back in episode ooh, I think it was number 172. It's the one where I talked about the motivational triad. I'll put the link in the Episode Notes, so you can go back and check on it. But if nutshell, the motivational triad is our human tendency to always want immediate pleasure, over immediate pleasure over long term success. So we would rather eat chocolate now than eat healthy for 10 years, right? immediate pleasure. It's also our tendency to avoid pain and discomfort. And we want to conserve energy. So that's the motivational triad. triad. humans seek immediate pleasure, they avoid pain, and they conserve energy. And it drives much of our activity, many of our choices in the world. So what this means is that you're setting a goal means that you have to go against that ingrained motivational triad to change. This is no easy feat. This is a big deal. But it is doable. 100% doable. And I know you can become the person who reaches your goal. One simple approach is for you to remind yourself that you are going against the grain and that you expect it to feel uncomfortable. Accept that, remind yourself, Yep, here I am going against the grain taken the hard route. And then tell yourself I can do this. I've got it. So another tip number three, find somebody who is a role model for you. Somebody who has created what you want, then you can remind yourself, hey, if they can do it, so can I. Now, you don't need to know this person in person. You could even go find them on social media, or maybe it's an author that you really look up to. So one great example is this. There are countless midlife women who are overweight and inactive. And maybe they feel kind of frumpy and really just not like themselves. Well, if that sounds like somebody that you know, I found a woman on Instagram. She is at at train with Joan. This woman is a 77 year old fitness influencer and get this. She started at 69. She's an inspiring person, and a great role model for midlife women who want to get healthy, want to get fit, maybe want to lose some weight. She's lost 60 pounds, and you should see her go check her out on Instagram. She is strong and fit. She is powerful and positive. She's improved her health, her outlook on life, and she's having the time of her life. She's a great role model. So what about you? What's your goal? Go find yourself a role model or someone who has walked your path. So you can lean on that reminder that if they can do it, so can you it is possible for you. And now fourth and my final tip for today is to change the macro. For micro. What do we mean by that? You break that goal down into smaller pieces. I know I know you have heard this before. Take your goal and break it into bite sized pieces. He says, but have you really taken it to heart? The reason that you hear it over and over is because it works. So, for example, instead of setting a goal for a full year, or for a quarter, try setting a goal for a month, or a week, or even a day. Give yourself lots of opportunities to learn how to reach those smaller goals. And each time you do each time you reach those smaller goals, those small steps, you get to celebrate. And that builds the pathway to becoming the person who reaches the large goal. You reach those small goals over and over and over. And guess what you're going to create that large goal too. So break that goal down into micro steps. I love the reminder, that, that what makes a great book, when you look at one of those great books, each of them can be broken down into chapters, and then the chapters to pages. And the pages can be broken down into paragraphs and sentences and the sentences down to words, individual letters, and the spaces between. So how could you use this metaphor in working towards your goal? Can you find a micro goal, that's a tiny piece of the hole, but you know that it's going to move you in the right direction. Okay, so those are my four tips to help you reach your goal. It's February, and I don't want you to give up on yourself. So to summarize, again, the four tips are, number one, start with acknowledging that it is normal for people to get discouraged. Step number two, become the person who creates that goal. Step number three, find a role model. Remind yourself if they can do it. So can I. And finally, step number four, change that macro for micro. In other words, break that goal down into smaller pieces, and celebrate every step of the way. So even though I know we're a month into 2024, already, you can do it. I don't want you to be in exactly the same place this time next year. I want you to reach your dream. Take these four steps and use them. So what is your takeaway from this episode? What is your aha, what did you learn? I want to hear from you. This is the place where we can turn this podcast episode into a conversation. I want to help you and encourage you DM me on Instagram or LinkedIn. Candy Mote SEC at Candy see a NDYMOT said EK, and share what you're learning here. Tell me your biggest aha from this episode. What do you decide? And how are you going to take this information and use it to become a thriving coach. If you don't have someone who's walking with you every step of the way through the process of becoming a coach. I'd be honored to be that person for you. I'd be honored to be your coach who helps you walk step by step from startup to success. Reach out to me again on Instagram or by email at info at CandyMotzek.com Thank you so much for joining me. I appreciate you. And my goal is to help you reach your goals this year. Thanks again for listening today. Please hop on over to Apple podcasts and leave a review. Also, I would love to hear from you. It's something that I say resonate. What else would you like to learn about? Click the link in the player and leave a comment on the post. This is going to give me great ideas for future episodes so I can help you best. Join me again next week. For more coaching, support and teaching to help you become the confident coach. You are meant to be