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In today’s episode, I’m joined by Anna Maydonova, affectionately known as the world’s best life optimization coach. We talk about her recovery from trauma and her path of healing through forgiveness as well as her journey to becoming a coach.
This episode comes with a trigger warning, we discuss physical, sexual, and mental abuse and if you normally listen to these episodes around others, I highly recommend that you wear earbuds.
Listen in to hear Anna’s amazing story of recovery and to see how she has crafted an amazing powerful life free from shame and guilt.
Featured on The Show:
Welcome to she coaches coaches. I'm your host,
Candy Motzek:Kandi motsek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity,
Candy Motzek:confidence and courage to become the coach that you are meant to
Candy Motzek:be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a
Candy Motzek:life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to
Candy Motzek:talk all about mindset and strategies and how to because
Candy Motzek:step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and
Candy Motzek:confidence to take action. Let's get started. Hi, friends, and
Candy Motzek:welcome to she coaches coaches. Now for this episode, I've got a
Candy Motzek:couple of warnings for you. The first is a trigger warning,
Candy Motzek:we're going to be speaking about disturbing content for part of
Candy Motzek:this conversation. And it includes sexual and mental
Candy Motzek:abuse. And so I want you to know that it may be triggering for
Candy Motzek:you, and take care of yourself in any way you need to. The
Candy Motzek:second is if you normally listen to these episodes with your kids
Candy Motzek:while you're driving in the car, or on the speaker while you're
Candy Motzek:cooking, I'd highly recommend that you listen to this one with
Candy Motzek:your earphones. And the information we're going to be
Candy Motzek:talking about has got some disturbing compliments or
Candy Motzek:components of it. And I just wanted to give you that heads
Candy Motzek:up. Alright, so let's dive in. Let's get started. So this is a
Candy Motzek:guest up episode. And I am interviewing Anna Mae to Nova. I
Candy Motzek:met Anna as part of a mastermind, and we've been
Candy Motzek:meeting weekly since I think it's early December, maybe even
Candy Motzek:November. And I have been so pleased to get to know her a
Candy Motzek:little bit. I've been watching her every week when we talk. And
Candy Motzek:I just knew that there was something special, something a
Candy Motzek:little bit more about her, and that you guys would like her to.
Candy Motzek:And so that's why I invited her to be on this podcast episode.
Candy Motzek:Anna is a woman of deep courage and inner strength. And when I
Candy Motzek:met her for the first time, she has this sunny, friendly, open
Candy Motzek:way about her. But there's something else too, something
Candy Motzek:deeper. And while she is all of that that Sunny, sweet kind,
Candy Motzek:dismissed disposition, she's also far more the three words
Candy Motzek:that come to mind when I think of her our love, courage and
Candy Motzek:brilliance. And I mean all the kinds of brilliance that you can
Candy Motzek:think of. She's got a keen focused intelligence, and she is
Candy Motzek:a brilliant shining light. And we need more of that in this
Candy Motzek:world. Anna is the host of the world's best Trauma Recovery
Candy Motzek:podcast. Her show is a safe place where you can listen to
Candy Motzek:him on how people just like you have reclaimed their power kick
Candy Motzek:started their healing process and have taken back their lives.
Candy Motzek:And they're now inspiring a new generation of empowered
Candy Motzek:individuals to break the cycle of trauma in their lives, and is
Candy Motzek:a coach and she is affectionately known as the
Candy Motzek:world's best life optimization coach. She empowers others with
Candy Motzek:her ultimate courage and stories of healing and forgiveness,
Candy Motzek:systemic sexual abuse, to forced abortions by a stepfather. And
Candy Motzek:then 15 consecutive miscarriages were at once her only story. But
Candy Motzek:now it's different. Her story is that she has reclaimed her
Candy Motzek:power. She's freed herself from that tether of shame and pain.
Candy Motzek:And she'd made it her life purpose to help others do the
Candy Motzek:same and live the life of their dreams. So let's dive in.
Candy Motzek:Welcome Anna. I'm so glad you're here.
Anna Maydonova:Candy. Thank you so much. I have to tell you're a
Anna Maydonova:master at introducing people. So well, what an introduction. And
Anna Maydonova:I'm so glad to be on your podcast. It's one of the most
Anna Maydonova:wonderful podcasts I've ever listened to. So to your
Anna Maydonova:listeners. If you haven't listened the first 78 podcasts.
Anna Maydonova:This is the place where you must go. Oh, thank you.
Candy Motzek:That's so kind. Alright, so let's start with
Candy Motzek:your story because everything that you're doing right now to
Candy Motzek:contribute to the world started because of your story. So can
Candy Motzek:you share that with us, please?
Anna Maydonova:Yeah, absolutely candy. Everything started when I
Anna Maydonova:was four years old, when my biological father left us and
Anna Maydonova:never returned. My younger brother was just nice. months
Anna Maydonova:old. And so my mom became 24 years old, a mother for single
Anna Maydonova:mother of four have to start from the King. So my, my younger
Anna Maydonova:brother was nine months old. And so my mom became a 24 years old,
Anna Maydonova:single mom of two, during the Russian economic depression. It
Anna Maydonova:was very hard for us. Sometimes we had no money. And so I had to
Anna Maydonova:be strong for my mom. And, you know, I felt like I can do
Anna Maydonova:anything I want. But I was wrong. Six years later, she met
Anna Maydonova:another man. And we were so excited. Finally, we're gonna
Anna Maydonova:have a circle, we're gonna have a man in our family, a
Anna Maydonova:protector. But just a couple of months later, I've realized that
Anna Maydonova:he's not the man that will protect us. My six years old
Anna Maydonova:brother did something wrong in my stepfather's opinion. And I
Anna Maydonova:saw him grabbing his army leather belt, dragging my
Anna Maydonova:younger brother to another bedroom, and locking the door
Anna Maydonova:behind him. And I just could hear how my younger brother was
Anna Maydonova:yelling, and screaming, and begging for help. Mommy, mommy
Anna Maydonova:help. Like my mom couldn't do anything. She was so afraid of
Anna Maydonova:him. And she just grabbed me so strong, and she covered my ears
Anna Maydonova:with your hands. Until my stepfather was done. It took my
Anna Maydonova:brother a few days to recover. And then I realized that's not
Anna Maydonova:what we were expecting. And my stepfather was an Army guy. He
Anna Maydonova:was very strict, very disciplinarian guy. So since
Anna Maydonova:then, we were beaten for everything, for the bad marks in
Anna Maydonova:the school, for not cleaning the house perfectly enough for not
Anna Maydonova:taking our dog out in time. And this abuse was getting worse and
Anna Maydonova:worse. And then when I was turning when I just turned 15.
Anna Maydonova:That's when sexual stuff happened. Follow two forced
Anna Maydonova:abortions one at 15 Another 16. It resulted in now 15
Anna Maydonova:consecutive miscarriages, including two atopic
Anna Maydonova:pregnancies. One nearly climbed my life in 2019. It was, that
Anna Maydonova:was my only story. I didn't know what was happening. When I moved
Anna Maydonova:to Australia, I started to build my life. I found a man of my
Anna Maydonova:dreams. We wanted to have a baby, but I was losing my
Anna Maydonova:pregnancies. And 10 Different doctors in Australia couldn't
Anna Maydonova:find any physical reason, like nothing at all. And only I knew
Anna Maydonova:what was happening, and why it was happening. And that was a
Anna Maydonova:big deal for me to start my healing journey. So I wanted to
Anna Maydonova:see whether my trauma is preventing me to make my most
Anna Maydonova:cherished dream come true. And you know what, during my healing
Anna Maydonova:process, I was able to forgive my, my stepfather, who did it to
Anna Maydonova:me. I was able to forgive my biological father, who wasn't
Anna Maydonova:there. When I needed him the most. I forgive my mom for not
Anna Maydonova:being able to save me. And I forgive myself. And the magic
Anna Maydonova:happens. It's a was such an amazing feeling. I felt free of
Anna Maydonova:shame. For the very first time. I got so much energy, and I got
Anna Maydonova:so much space that just filled up with a light and that's my
Anna Maydonova:message. I want. This is my my most biggest dream to help
Anna Maydonova:people to feel the same way.
Candy Motzek:Thank you. And I know that you know you've shared
Candy Motzek:your story before but every time you do, it's still intensely
Candy Motzek:personal and powerful and The listeners who are listening to
Candy Motzek:you, they can feel they can feel the journey that you went on.
Candy Motzek:And I think, you know, we we all know people who have had
Candy Motzek:terrible traumatic things happen in their life. We all know that.
Candy Motzek:And many of us have experienced things as well. The difference
Candy Motzek:is this piece of forgiveness. And no, so somebody might be
Candy Motzek:listening to this and they might be going, how did she do that?
Candy Motzek:How does she start that healing journey? How does she forgive
Candy Motzek:for these past abuses? So talk to me a little bit about that.
Candy Motzek:You forgive?
Anna Maydonova:You know, I've realized that if I won't
Anna Maydonova:forgive, I wouldn't be free of tyranny of pain. So the
Anna Maydonova:forgiveness, it was the way to free myself. I'm not saying you
Anna Maydonova:know, you don't have to keep your perpetrator accountable.
Anna Maydonova:Forgiveness is to understanding what what this trauma was
Anna Maydonova:teaching you about. It was understanding what was happening
Anna Maydonova:in my perpetrators, child childhood life. It's
Anna Maydonova:understanding of my mom, why she was so codependent on my
Anna Maydonova:stepfather, why she was scared of him. And it was understanding
Anna Maydonova:of my biological father, why he left us in the first place. And
Anna Maydonova:then it was understanding why some of my reactions wore, not
Anna Maydonova:the way that I wanted. And I'll give you an example. When the
Anna Maydonova:first abuse happened, my stepfather told me if I tell to
Anna Maydonova:anyone, he will destroy my mom's my brother, and my life. He was
Anna Maydonova:threatening me with their lives. And she instilled so much fear
Anna Maydonova:in me that if I tell my mom, she will believe him, not me, and
Anna Maydonova:that she will hate me for trying to destroy their marriage life.
Anna Maydonova:And so I was really, really scared to tell her it was the it
Anna Maydonova:was moreso than this. And I, I was holding this yield for not
Anna Maydonova:telling my mom for not responding on the way that I
Anna Maydonova:wanted to respond. Because when it's happened for the first
Anna Maydonova:time, I got frozen. And I was blaming myself why I didn't
Anna Maydonova:start yelling, screaming or, you know, fighting back. But then I
Anna Maydonova:understand. Hold on. I was conditioned. I was conditioned
Anna Maydonova:to be a good girl, because I saw how violent my stepfather can
Anna Maydonova:be. And I was so scared for my life, for the life of my
Anna Maydonova:brother, and my mom, that I was martyring myself. I was
Anna Maydonova:sacrificing myself, for my family. So helping me to
Anna Maydonova:understand why some of the reactions are coming or why my
Anna Maydonova:perpetrator was doing this. I'm not saying it's okay. But it's
Anna Maydonova:just fun for myself. It helped me to free myself from tyranny
Anna Maydonova:of this pain. It I stopped being a victim. I took my life back
Anna Maydonova:in.
Candy Motzek:I just want to ask this. And so, sir, just uh, back
Candy Motzek:to that feeling of frozen. You know, that is like a standard
Candy Motzek:trauma response that happens. Everybody has, you know, an knee
Candy Motzek:jerk response that happens in the face of extreme danger. And
Candy Motzek:it is your body's way of trying to protect you. Yes. So I hear
Candy Motzek:that and I think well, of course, I mean, what, what else
Candy Motzek:would have happened? Do you remember the moment that you
Candy Motzek:decided to start your healing journey?
Anna Maydonova:Yes, I do remember. Yes. That's actually
Anna Maydonova:funny. Um, it wasn't just the one day it was I was a few
Anna Maydonova:voices that I had in my head. Firstly, moving to Australia, I
Anna Maydonova:so a different reaction from people to the sexual childhood
Anna Maydonova:sexual abuse survivors. It wasn't much judgment. And it
Anna Maydonova:helped me. It helped me to feel more comfortable to open up.
Anna Maydonova:Secondly, my partner being so honest and open with me and
Anna Maydonova:vulnerable about his past, that it helped me to feel more safe
Anna Maydonova:and secure to talk about my trauma. It took me 20 years to
Anna Maydonova:tell about my trauma. No one knew about I have one friend who
Anna Maydonova:I told back when I was 15. So for me, it was a huge shame. And
Anna Maydonova:then my miscarriages, miscarriage after miscarriage
Anna Maydonova:after miscarriage. There is no physical evidence why it's
Anna Maydonova:happening. And I was wondering, I wonder whether my trauma my
Anna Maydonova:body remembers those two abortions. And it takes it like
Anna Maydonova:a warning, like I'm danger. And it's just pass it on. So it made
Anna Maydonova:me think, okay, maybe there is something deeper in me, I have
Anna Maydonova:to heal in terms of to become a mother.
Candy Motzek:So I've got all kinds of questions in my head.
Candy Motzek:And, you know, so one of one of the reasons that I wanted you to
Candy Motzek:come on this podcast was because you're up to big things. And I
Candy Motzek:know that, you know, as your podcast grows, and as you grow
Candy Motzek:as a coach, it will help many people. And, you know, so this
Candy Motzek:is like a yes. And moment, there is. There is more room for
Candy Motzek:others to hear your message. And so my thought was, and it still
Candy Motzek:is that maybe there's somebody who listens to this episode.
Candy Motzek:Maybe they just hear it just kind of by random. And that just
Candy Motzek:in sharing the message. You may never meet that individual, they
Candy Motzek:may never actually connect with you. But just in sharing that
Candy Motzek:message, maybe you're one of those Spark's for them to start
Candy Motzek:making changes. Maybe they have experienced horrific abuse,
Candy Motzek:maybe not. Maybe it's something that's just been troubling them.
Candy Motzek:And they've been holding on to shame and guilt over any number
Candy Motzek:of things. And maybe this is the spark that helps them to release
Candy Motzek:it. And so this place of forgiveness for me is this place
Candy Motzek:of there is such a power here. You know, so you beginning your
Candy Motzek:healing journey. speaking openly about what happened to you,
Candy Motzek:speaking openly about your healing journey, and then
Candy Motzek:creating this Podcast, the podcast, I have to go look at
Candy Motzek:the name again, because it's such a cool name just a second.
Candy Motzek:So sorry, the world's
Anna Maydonova:best Trauma Recovery podcast.
Candy Motzek:Yeah. So talk to me about this concept, world's
Candy Motzek:best Trauma Recovery podcast. Why world's best? What's the
Candy Motzek:mindset there?
Anna Maydonova:Kenzie, I'm so glad you asked me this question.
Anna Maydonova:World's Best. And I'm the world's best life optimization
Anna Maydonova:coach. It's not an ego thing. As many of people can think not.
Anna Maydonova:This is my commitment to myself. This is about me waking up every
Anna Maydonova:morning and asking myself how would the world's best life
Anna Maydonova:optimization coach conduct yourself?
Candy Motzek:One question. Yeah, one question. And I've
Candy Motzek:been teaching this a lot with my clients as well. This the value
Candy Motzek:of keeping things really simple. You know, our ego brings in
Candy Motzek:complexity. And if you can create your practice and create
Candy Motzek:your skill and hold yourself to that standard and commit to
Candy Motzek:yourself with just this one phrase the world's best, in your
Candy Motzek:case, the world's best life optimization coach, for your
Candy Motzek:podcast. World's Best, right? And using that as your guide.
Candy Motzek:And what I love about it is that it's not set in stone, right?
Candy Motzek:Like, it's not about you actually being the gold medal
Candy Motzek:winner at the Olympics. It's about being the world's best in
Candy Motzek:your life, and for the life of the people around you. And
Candy Motzek:always aspiring to grow, always aspiring to take that next step,
Candy Motzek:because who you are now is magnificent. And who you are a
Candy Motzek:week from now will be even more any year from now. And two years
Candy Motzek:from now and 10 years from now. And what a way to create a
Candy Motzek:legacy. I just love that. I love that concept. Yeah, that's cool.
Anna Maydonova:Who else put on candy? There are the candy
Anna Maydonova:people world's best at anything. Just ask yourself, your AMI
Anna Maydonova:world's best. What sort of problem am I solving? What am I
Anna Maydonova:helping people with? So it's not about being number one in the
Anna Maydonova:world. It's about the commitment, hey, I want to grow.
Anna Maydonova:I want to help people.
Candy Motzek:And I think that this is the place that is really
Candy Motzek:helpful for the listeners as well, you know, and so I would I
Candy Motzek:would call out to the people that are listening to this
Candy Motzek:episode, whether it's current or whether you know, it's been live
Candy Motzek:for a while. What are you the world's best at? What? How do
Candy Motzek:you want to challenge yourself? How, what kind of a? Mark, do
Candy Motzek:you want to leave on this world? What kind of a legacy could you
Candy Motzek:have? So that's the question, right? How could they be the
Candy Motzek:world's best every day? And what would they choose to be the
Candy Motzek:world's best at? And so can you think of a way to sort of fine
Candy Motzek:tune that question that would make it even more powerful for
Candy Motzek:them?
Anna Maydonova:Yeah, absolutely. If you if you really
Anna Maydonova:want to find yourself, what am I world's best at? If you want to
Anna Maydonova:find your chosen niche, ask yourself. First question. What
Anna Maydonova:am I so good at that other people find challenging? The
Anna Maydonova:second question was what many people ask me an advice about?
Anna Maydonova:And third question is what sets my soul on fire? That's some
Anna Maydonova:really, really great start to find out, what is my why, what
Anna Maydonova:is my passion, and then get a courage. Get a ball to find to
Anna Maydonova:call yourself the world's best. And then make a commitment is
Anna Maydonova:make this commitment to yourself. And then wake up every
Anna Maydonova:morning and ask yourself a question. How would the world's
Anna Maydonova:best in your chosen niche coach niche, as you say, in America
Anna Maydonova:code would conduct himself or herself?
Candy Motzek:Yeah, I love it. Such a power in claiming,
Candy Motzek:claiming it for yourself. And you're the only one that can do
Candy Motzek:that. Right? So listeners, I would encourage you figure this
Candy Motzek:out. Ask yourself those questions that Anna said, and
Candy Motzek:then claim it. That's the place of courage, claiming it for
Candy Motzek:yourself that that is what you're going to be. This has
Candy Motzek:been so great. I'm really pleased that you've been here
Candy Motzek:and being part of the podcast. Now. For the people that have
Candy Motzek:listened and they want to hear your podcast, they want to learn
Candy Motzek:more about you. They really resonate with your message. How
Candy Motzek:can they find out more about you?
Anna Maydonova:I am on Facebook, it's Anna Mae, the
Anna Maydonova:novel. I'm on Instagram, as well. NMI, the novel and on
Anna Maydonova:LinkedIn. You can find me on social media beginning. So you
Anna Maydonova:can find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn. It's nma
Anna Maydonova:the novel. I'm posting lots of wonderful and motivational and
Anna Maydonova:transformational stories of myself. And you can find more
Anna Maydonova:information about my upcoming master classes or coaching
Anna Maydonova:sessions. So if you have any questions, just go go there. And
Anna Maydonova:my website is coming soon. It will be in May the nava.com
Candy Motzek:Awesome. That's just great. And I'm going to put
Candy Motzek:those links in the Episode Notes so people can just click
Candy Motzek:through. And check out more about you follow you on
Candy Motzek:Instagram, following you on Facebook and get connected. And
Candy Motzek:I'd encourage anybody who is moved by this message to DM
Candy Motzek:Anna, reach out to her, talk to her connect with her. She has a
Candy Motzek:wealth of information. And I know that you would love being
Candy Motzek:more connected with her. So that's it for today, you guys, I
Candy Motzek:have been so honored to have Anna here as my guest. I hope
Candy Motzek:that you listened to this interview, and you found within
Candy Motzek:yourself a place where you can have more courage, where you can
Candy Motzek:claim that world's best mindset for yourself. And then also, if
Candy Motzek:this is reminded you of some unfinished business, some
Candy Motzek:unfinished pain in your life, that maybe you're holding on to
Candy Motzek:some shame and guilt about, this is the time for you to be
Candy Motzek:courageous and to get help. Reach out. Therapy is always
Candy Motzek:going to be the first step for you. And I would deeply
Candy Motzek:encourage you to how would I say it? Commit to yourself that your
Candy Motzek:life is worth healing and having an amazing life. So thanks so
Candy Motzek:much, everyone, and we'll talk to you again next week. Thanks
Candy Motzek:again for listening today. Please hop on over to Apple
Candy Motzek:podcasts and leave a review. Also, I would love to hear from
Candy Motzek:you did something that I say resonate? What else would you
Candy Motzek:like to learn about? Click the link in the player and leave a
Candy Motzek:comment on the post. This is going to give me great ideas for
Candy Motzek:future episodes so I can help you best. Join me again next
Candy Motzek:week. From our coaching, support and teaching to help you become
Candy Motzek:the confident coach. You are meant to be
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