Embracing Possibilities: Empowering Your Journey by Letting Go of 'I Don't Know”- Ep.148

Hey welcome to she coaches, coaches, I'm your host, Candy motsek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity, confidence and courage to become the coach that you are meant to be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to talk all about mindset and strategies and how to, because step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and confidence to take action. Let's get started. Welcome to the show. Listen, as I get ready to record this episode, I am also packing to go away for a long weekend. It's late May, I, my husband and I are getting ready to celebrate a big wedding anniversary. So we're off for four days away. We're going to be staying in a beautiful hotel and ready to sightsee and relax and have great meals and enjoy the long weekend away. Now, before we dive into the episode, I know many of you listen to me every week. And some of you have been with me since the beginning. And I appreciate you. Thank you. I really appreciate the time you spend with me. I want to ask you for a favor. Could you leave me a five star review and a rating? Podcasts are a funny thing. You know, no one quite knows how the podcast players like Apple podcasts, rank everything, or even how they decide how to recommend what shows to who. But the one thing that I do know is that ratings and reviews help. I know you've probably meant to do it, and then you got busy, or you meant to do it. And you just thought that it was a little bit more of a bug than you had anticipated. But listen, I would so appreciate the favor. If you would take a minute right now and leave me a rating and a review. It's really the only way that I know that they will show this podcast and more coaches to people who can benefit from getting this message. So thank you. So now let's dive in. Every morning, I journal, I journal in my moleskin notebook, I've got a special pen that I do it with. And the journaling that I do is a combination of sought downloads to clean up my brain. I also journal about the goals that I'm going for and finding the evidence that they're coming true. I find places for inspiration, I find ideas that I want to share with you on the podcast. And I spend about half an hour with paper and pen. Now, my brain is just like your brain. And it loves to tell me all the negative stuff. And the thought downs that I do. Those are the things that really helped me to see what's going on. See the things that are holding me back, like what are those thoughts, the self doubt, pieces that are sitting in the back of my head, what is under the surface that is showing me my resistance. So if you want to know how to do a thought download, I share this with all of my clients. But for you the podcast listener, you guys can go back and listen to one of the very first episodes, episode number two, I'll put the link in the Episode Notes, and then you'll know exactly how to do a thought download and why it works. So anyway, this is what I've noticed, both for my thought downloads and for my clients. This one phrase, it just keeps showing up over and over and over again. And it's this. I don't know. It's like, I don't know. I don't know how I don't know what I don't know who I don't know the perfect path. And you know this, I don't know phrase it is so not helpful. My brain automatically serves me this thought whenever I want to go for a goal, or whenever I'm trying a new project. The most recent example, I've just released a new private podcast. It's pretty cool. And it's called unlock coaching success, or seven episodes there 10 minutes and under. And it is a great free resource that I have created for you. I created it for coaches to understand the exact four pillars that every successful coach needs for a thriving business. You know, I have found that there is so much confusion so much chatter and complexity. being thrown around these days. So I wanted to create this common sense resource, something that's just going to cut through the confusion. So you can have clarity, and then you're going to know what to do, how to approach this. All this clarity leads to confidence. And it's going to help you signed clients to, I'll put the link for this private podcast, unlock coaching success, I'll put that in the Episode Notes, so you can sign up and have a listen to. So I wanted to create this private podcast, and it's on a different platform. And this platform has got some really cool features, but it's a new platform for me. So here's what my morning journaling sounded like, this is me having a conversation with my brain. I want to create this cool new thing that my brain says, but I don't know how. Well guess what? This went around and around and around until finally I stopped myself. I wanted to do this thing. And my brain said, Oh, I don't know. So it was like an I don't know, spin. So guess what? I realized? And this is part of my journaling. I said, Well, of course, you don't know how you've never done this before. But I know that I can figure it out. And just in that couple of sentences. Of course, I don't know exactly how. But I know I can figure it out. That stopped that I don't know, spin in its tracks. Because when I think I don't know, I assume I just don't know. And that's like the end of it. My brain doesn't go into action. My brain doesn't get creative. It's kind of like a dead end. My brain serves up, I don't know, with a shrug. And that's the end of it. So I don't come up with new ideas. I don't ask for help. I don't try new things. I don't try and figure it out. And I sure as heck don't try and look at past situations, similar situations. Or maybe I've got some transferable skills. As soon as I say, I don't know, I don't do any of that. Right? My brain says I don't know. And then I shrug, I feel kind of lost, confused, and even a bit hopeless. So if this sounds like you, welcome to The Club, our brains want to keep us the same. It takes energy to try these new things, to figure things out. And sometimes our brain might think that it's a little bit risky. Maybe we risk making a mistake or failing the first time, maybe we risk looking silly in front of other people. Who knows, but our brand loves to keep us the same, even though we know we want to take that next step. So maybe your example might be well, how do I find clients? And your brain says, Oh, I don't know. Or maybe you're thinking I really want to be a coach. But your brain says, but I don't know how. Or maybe you're thinking about filling your coaching practice. And your brain says, Well, I don't know. All those things that your brain says I don't know, too. So if this sounds like you, I've got a challenge for you a proposal. Here's what I suggest you do an experiment. You take that phrase right off the table, you remove that phrase from your vocabulary, it is no longer allowed. So every time your inner voice says, I don't know, you don't take that for an answer. You say, Oh, well, that's not very helpful. I don't know it's no longer a possibility here. Or you can say, well, of course you don't know quite yet. But I know I can figure it out. I like the metaphor that I've been hearing. And it says that my brain is like a search engine. My brain is kind of like Google. If I ask it a question, it must try to find the answer. But when I say I don't know, there is no question to answer. It's a dead end. It doesn't lead to growth. It doesn't lead to learning or discovery or experimentation. And it sure as heck doesn't lead me to figuring it out. So instead of settling for, I don't know, you could ask yourself, what do I know about this? Or, well, if I didn't know, where might I begin?