Ask An Expert: Alexander Ford Measurable Genius - Ep.130

Hey welcome to she coaches, coaches, I'm your host, Candy Motzek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity, confidence and courage to become the coach that you are meant to be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to talk all about mindset and strategies and how to because step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and confidence to take action. Let's get started. Hi, everyone, and welcome to this episode of she coaches coaches, I'm welcoming an interesting guest. His name is Alexander Ford, and he is about marketing and human behavior. So reasonably was interested in having him on this podcast is because, well, human behavior like that is just something that coaches are always into. Let me read you a little bit about Alexander. He is the president and CEO of measurable genius Calgary's only Polymathic Services Agency, Alexander has been pursuing his dream of helping entrepreneurs and business owners find their story, acquire new leads, and scale their business since he first became an entrepreneur at age 12. By combining strategic consulting, information technology and marketing services, Alexandre and his team convert challenges into opportunities. Other experts, specialists, consultants or gurus have been unable or unwilling to solve. And that last word on our phrase, unwilling to solve, that was the thing that really caught my eye. So welcome to she coaches, coaches, Alexander.

Hey, thanks for having me.

Yeah. So tell me about your journey. I know starting at 12. And you're definitely more than 12 now. So tell me how you got here. What's your what's

in cry incremental, I got here incrementally, I like to start most of my stage presentations by saying that I'm an only child, white boy from Canada and a middle class family. And I've literally had no problems in my life. I've had some people on social media telling me I need to talk about privilege. And I'm like, I swear to God, I'm totally aware. I haven't had any monumental like, like injury or like moment to transformation, I've had my issues with authority consistently the whole time. And so I grew up, wanting to figure things out. And I identify as a problem solver. And I'm super good at using Google, which makes me a great IT guy. And I like to build things. And I like to reverse engineer systems. And I like to, like, look out into the universe and see if there's some formula that makes it so I can like push a button and get a predictable response. And I've basically follow that thread into the land of business, which I think is a crucible where we get to grow and learn and evolve and play with others, hopefully, people we like. And so my bio says, I started at 12, I was selling people websites behind a Gmail address. And I was building computers from parts that I bought at a local parts store. And I was, you know, selling remanufactured toner and picking up boxes of paper from Costco and dropping them off at golf courses. And eventually, I got into marketing and and here we are, I've just sort of found my path that way.

That's so cool. And you know, like, there's something I don't think that people are born entrepreneurs. But I think that there is that hunger for that kind of adventure, and that kind of development and growth, right? Like, some people just love that challenge. Give me a challenge. Give me a problem. Let me go at it. And other people are just like, No, can you tell me if a book goes before b today? Or you know, like, Tell me tell me the path to take. And what do you think is the difference between those people? And I know this isn't what we're going to talk about, but I just I'm curious what you think?

Yeah, I I'm happy to go there. I think that it's hard to separate people from their environment. There's this reality that we need to make money in order to survive. And so we all sort of end up on the backfoot, right, we're kids and we get to have fun in many cases. I mean, some kids don't have good childhoods, but like, you know, in my imagination, we transition from having very little responsibility as a child. Parents take care of everything to You are sticker shock, which is, oh, I'm an adult. And actually everything is on me. And I don't think we prepare people for that super good as a society, at least in North America. I think like, we're in jobs under duress doing stuff we hate working for managers who have no idea how to take care of us. Because they're also suffering and trying to make money so that they can not do something they hate. And there's this like, downward spiral before people have even really begun. It's like, you know, we wake up and we're like, Wait, like, what's going on? Why do I have to do this? Why? Why am I forced into something I don't like. And I think that's where most entrepreneurs start there. They're like, at least if it's under my own command and control, like I can, like, have some sense of meaning. And I can have my own storytelling, and I feel like at least it's me tackling a challenge that matters. But for the people who are like really wanting to be told what to do, I feel like probably most of them are, are sort of stuck, they haven't figured out yet how to like, pursue an opportunity that has meaning to them. If something has meaning people tend to endure challenge, and they tend to be willing to tackle complexity and to, like, have their leadership emerge. So I think there's a big element of having the opportunity to do something that matters being the precursor to willingness to take on challenge.

Yeah. And, you know, and as you're speaking, I'm also thinking about, you know, so first, there's that drive for meaning, which is super important. And when I see, it's not that I have a lot of use of my life, you know, a lot of teenagers, I see a lot of this message of, you know, do what you love thing. And that's, it's such a, like an open ended, like, do what you love. What does that mean? You know, like, if you love to dance is that, you know, like, do you just dance and assume that everything's gonna work out? So or do you or how do you approach that, right? So like, as you're describing it, we get the we get this situation where people end up in jobs under duress, because now they got bills to pay and rent and all that stuff. They've got that they've maybe grown up with that conflicting message of do what you love. And it's sort of, I don't know, like those, those messages don't go together. Like neither of them. Yeah. Right.

There's a gap there. My mentor, one of my mentors says that the quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions that you ask. And so I do totally understand how those are apparently opposing ideas, like, go to work to make money versus do what you love it but between those points is like a third ingredient, which is creativity. And there's some nuance, which is to say, I think people should do what they love. And at the very least until they get there, they should learn to love what they do. Because we have the capability to transform our perceptions and therefore our actions and decisions in life. And we can transform our emotional experience, we have the capability, the father of modern psychology, William James said that the greatest capability of the human mind is essentially to be able to transform our perceptions, which will then therefore transform our experience of our reality. And so if there is a someone who is stuck in something they don't like, and they've got a story that they don't like it, and they haven't thought to, or they haven't taken on the challenge of transforming their perceptions, not only are they stuck in their reality, but they're also stuck in their story. And for the person who loves what they do. Um, you know, a big chunk of people probably end up there, by the grace of God, like they're just like, you know, accidentally fell into a reality where they get to do what they love and be handsomely rewarded or paid for it. But for those of us who, like, didn't go there by default, I think how most people end up there is that they are creative and problem solving. How do I how do I create a life where I get to do what I love and be paid for it? How do I create a life where I incrementally take steps towards manifesting that dream, it's not going to happen at the snap of a fingers, it's going to be something that I meticulously plan and create for myself in my life like that is the crucible and all of us are in it. And it's it's not something that surface level affirmations or idealisms are going to solve it's going to take some fairly high quality questions and actions and decisions.

Yeah. And, and it's a different kind of effort, right? Like to change your story and to change your thoughts and to change the habit thoughts that play through your brain takes So it's a weird kind of effort. And then all of a sudden, you've got a whole, you've got a whole new set of core beliefs, and you kind of forgot about those other ones. I liked this thing about creativity. And there's one more word that I saw a yes. And comment. One more thing that I like to layer on and it's curiosity. You know, like, Where can we really be really curious? And that's where, you know, for me, that's the thing that I like about coaching is that place of just don't really need and, and consent, like, just consider and be and hold it with curiosity, and sort of pair that curiosity with creativity, as you said, and then add awareness, you know, so that, you know, meditation, like, if anybody ever says to me, what's my first step, go meditate, like, just every day, hate it, love it, I don't care, do it. Like this, just like that starts the journey for me. So I love that creativity. And how do we encourage creativity? Sorry, curiosity, and then awareness so that you actually can hear what you're thinking?

Yeah. Curiosity is something that you get to do on purpose. I think I think like we could identify as curious people, or I could say, I'm a curious person. But where I think curiosity is most demanded is in a moment of like frustration, right? And so when I'm coaching coaches who coach coaches, yeah, the tongue twister. Yeah, he's the coach. When I'm when I'm working with the people that I love, and when I'm working with my team, and I'm like, I'm witnessing someone having a frustrating experience. I love your use of the word curiosity. I go there as like a first attack angle. It's like, I hear that you're frustrated. And in this moment, you have the choice to be curious. And it's, it's like an action word. It's like a verb. You know, be curious, go do curiosity. It's a thing that you can practice. And I don't know if people think of it that way. But I do. It's like, turn it on. Like go do it. Hmm.

So I know that when I practice curiosity, so yes, about the action thing and then there's also this It's an emotion as well, you know, the emotion of curiosity is kind of very similar to the emotion of awe and wonder. Right. Consider it an action as well. And can you Sorry, just random thinkings? Can you create the being of being somebody who is curious as your default? And I wonder what life would be like to random just random but

it's all their shoulders? Yeah, more pleasant?

What the hell are you talking about? Yeah, I don't know. Does that spark anything in you?

Um, yeah, I mean, we we are what we make firm in the mind. So like, that seems to me like the root of most spiritual quests, like, am I the animal that runs my emotions? Or am I the the master that teams like the experience? Like how do I move from a reactive and subjective experience into a creative and inspired state of being under my own will and command? Like, this is like an important question for me, how do I navigate my life and train my mind and train my being in such a way that I'm more likely to be the creator than the victim? And the way to get there is generally speaking through questions in my mind, like Curiosity means to ask a question. Like not to look at our reality and, and assume that it's firm, or look at our perspective and assume that that's what's real. Like, any negative experience, any perception of challenge any hard thing happening to us in our life is possibly real, but it's also like colored and flavored, by the way we see the world. So if I'm looking out towards the world, and I'm saying, like, this experience is bad, there's no question and there's no curiosity. That's that's a finite reality. But in a reality where there's infinite potential, there's opportunities to ask questions like what in this crisis is the blessing why In this perceived pain is the pleasure what in this perceived challenge is the opportunity? Like, how can I take this experience I'm having and cultivate it and mold it and work towards my goals. Because the alternative to that is death, it's death in a moment. It's death of an identity, it's death in real life. It's like, my life is hard. And this sucks. It's like, okay, are you giving up? Like, how long do you need in this emotion until you decide to let in some curiosity and decide to like, look for new meaning and look for new opportunity? Like, I'd rather be the master of my destiny been the victim of my history?

And, you know, and granted, there's certainly times where it is totally appropriate to not get curious, you know, when you're dealing with something super tough? Or are you just kind of completely rewriting who you are, sometimes it takes time to get out, kneeling? And you said something about? So first of all, master of my destiny, I love that, you know, that's a, that's a theme with my clients, and the theme, you know, for me, as well. And then there's the peace of awareness. Right? So what if I can't remember the exact wording that you use? But it was something about, you know, am I the Creator? Or am I, at the receiving end? You know, the reactionary, right. But it feels like there's a triad, and the triad is the observer. Right? And that's the other, that's the other piece of that sort of spiritual model is the observer gets to choose. So you need to also hold that and then decide.

I think, for me, it's like, the question is, does it does the does the observer get to choose in, in human biology, the prefrontal cortex is, at least by modern science, the, the, the visionary part of the mind, it's able to have creative thinking, it's able to see into the future, it's like an executive center, it makes good decisions and alignment with our best interest and in alignment with our well being. And the amygdala, which is fight or flight and an animal response and is essentially responsible for our survival. Those those functions in the mind appear to be mutually exclusive. What science is showing is that when the amygdala activates the prefrontal cortex automatically shuts down. And so that the way to activate the prefrontal cortex, which might be the observer requires the calming of the the amygdala. So there's like, there's lots of research happening right now with, like, somatic experiencing, which is about how to basically regulate the autonomic nervous system, so as to gain access to those like higher minded functions in air quotes for people listening in audio, it's like, like, Can a person actually be capable of of these spiritual sort of questions, if in fact, they're there, they're triggered, or their amygdala is activated, or they're in a perceived mode of survival? I think that it's difficult to impose on somebody who is activated the expectation that they should be able to hear their inner voice that they should be able to be a spiritual person. And I think in many cases, there's, there's teaching out there that says, like, you should, you should just like, Listen, you should just like go on the spiritual path for a person with an activated amygdala or who's having a survival experience, that that's literally not available to them. And that's why it's like, it's a it's so interesting to talk about this stuff, because and like you said, at the beginning, it's it's like these things are apparently at odds. And I think like, I think they are at odds biologically speaking, spiritually speaking, like, oftentimes, unless the person having the experience has this meta awareness. It does feel like one or the other, objectively, both are available, right? You can learn how to calm your nervous system, you can learn to meditate like you said, you can learn to gain access to the observer, or whatever information might be held in there. But I'm, I'm not sure how many people have a realistic awareness of like their actual state of mind and and how much care they actually need. I think people need far more care than they give themselves. I don't know credit for maybe credit. It's not the right word, but it's like

Yeah, I hear you like It's just like they don't even, you don't know what you don't know. And if so, when I hear the word care from you, I'm thinking, like, you know, truly caring for yourself, you know, truly nourishing and nurturing yourself. And, you know, for people that are in that sort of, you know that will the triggered state the more survival state. It is a very difficult road. You know, that's what I see, this is a very, very difficult road. I know that they need it. But can they eat? Like, I know that it's possible for them, but counting even seat yet to them?

Often not without help? Yeah, right. They need a great coach, they need someone who loves them, they need a friend who truly gives them good feedback. And for many people, they don't have the quality of relationships necessary to have that type of a dialogue. You know, like, I try really hard to do that, like I see, I see my responsibility in my business as to take care of the people who work here. I think a lot of businesses are structured in a way where it's like, you're all here to help me figure your shit out. So my life can be better. And it's, it's, it seems like the right thing to do. It's a very short sighted goal, though, because like, the business has the best chance of success, a person has the best sense of chance of success when they're able to think clearly and strategically and have forethought and have inspiration and, and genuinely be doing work that is meaningful to them and is aligned with what's important. And if I as a tyrannical leader, I'm keeping people in fight or flight all day, I'm having the exact opposite result, which is I'm making people dumber, I'm causing them to be highly reactive, I'm creating time pressure and scarcity. I'm putting them in situations that make them uncomfortable, they've got knee jerk reactions, like this whole cascade of negative outcomes occurs, it's actually in my best interest as a manager and a leader, to help my team and to help the people who work here, help my family help my friends, be regulated to have time and space to get centered and to have a job or a role that's aligned with something that matters to them, and to give them reasonable deadlines and reasonable plans to produce reasonable results. And for all of that to happen, I either need to have the resources or I have to have the the mindset myself to to deliver that rib regardless of what our environment experiences. And I don't think that that's a very common approach.

And I think it's changing. Right. Like, and, and I really hear you, and when I think back to the, you know, my time in corporate, those were my favorite leaders, the ones that created that safety. And, you know, it even goes so far as into speaking of our team as resources, right, you know, and so I've, I've got my soapbox that I jump on about, people are not on the, you know, they're not on the p&l, they're not on the income statement, your people are actually on the balance sheet. They are assets if you treat them as assets. And so that's just, but you know, they're there. They're certainly leaders, companies that approach business in that way. And I think that eventually, the others will be obsolete, because people like, if you're in a triggered state, you're either going to fight so you got conflict in your team, or you're going to flee, and go and work for the other person. Like it's as easy as that or free to stay there and be I don't know what just stay there. Right. So I think it will change. I think it must change. I would just love it to change faster. I guess that's you know, that's my place of impatience is what is the right speed? How can I stay curious? And, you know, for me, supporting coaches, yes, all the coach works party coaches, create coaching businesses, is so backed, so that there can be more of that or that. Safety and growth, meaningful lives for the people that they work with?

Yeah. Like, it starts with each of us, right? It starts with our breath. It starts with us, like we all have a responsibility to self regulate, it would be nice for all of us to say, like, you know, I've given up on my paternal parents and now it's time for them to be a business parent. But like, the reality is, each of us are our own. caregiver, we are our own advocate, we are our own sovereign people, we, I have a responsibility to take care of myself. And to the degree I'm capable, take care of others, but it's it starts with me. So like in that regard, it starts with your listeners. It starts with your clients and to the degree that they're able to regulate they're gonna set a good exam. But for their clients, and, you know, that goes from there. Hopefully some more leaders here, this type of messaging, and they can see the only sustainable way to grow businesses to like have sustainable team. Yeah. Like, you can't you can't build a business on desperation. In an ideal world, we're building businesses on inspiration. But you know, very few people get there. It's a gauntlet and it takes, like persistence and effort and courage. And I hope at least to achieve that in my life, because I'm aware of it. And I'm talking about it. And I think I have a duty to be the change I want to see in the world.

Right. Thank you. Really appreciate your time. Any closing words that you'd like to share?

Yeah, I mean, I guess if you're listening to this, take a deep breath.

Yeah, as simple as that right, it all in all goes back to the breath. So people who are interested in you and what you do, how can they find out more about you?

I produce a lot of content and it's all hosted at measurable genius.tv.