The Spirit of Friendship | Nancy Tilton Hand

Deana Brown Mitchell: Hello, everybody, it's Deana back again with another Author. And I'm so excited to introduce you guys to Nancy. A fun fact Nancy and I met two years ago. And then we realized that we were both from Louisiana. And we were born in the same hospital two weeks apart. And how crazy is that? So, we one day I'll get to meet you in person, and eat your sourdough bread and the sourdough King Cake, because I'm just learning about this, and I missed it. And I'm sad. So anyway, we're gonna talk about the book now. So we're gonna have a book launch on February 22, is going to be a virtual event. And I'll tell you a little bit more about how you can join us for that event at the end of this video. So welcome, Nancy and Ivy will be will tell us a little bit about your chapter.

Nancy Tilton Hand: I will Hi my birthday girl. All right, if you were closer, I will feed you all the time. My chapter is about how an accident I had when I was 50. And really not only shaped my life, but in the process of recovering from a head injury, which is what it was, and you can read all about it. I, I developed a really, I think a unique talent or skill to build friendships. And from that experience, I have learned how to and have built just a mighty and astonishingly fun and supportive friend network that I have people in my life steal from when I was five years old, six years old. But even more importantly, right after that accident. I unmasked this little mighty Nancy army, and I love them and they loved me. And it's been great. And not everybody has that kind of support. And what I started piecing together when I was writing the story out some of the stuff I've never talked to out loud at all, you know, but like a lot of it I was like, Oh, a little bit queasy writing some stuff down. But doing it really made that thru line incredibly evident to me. And, and it's what's cool about it is having that in front of me and being able to see it and go oh, yeah, okay, I see how this happened. I see, you know, when my IQ took a nosedive my EQ, rose to the occasion. And I hadn't put those pieces together. Don't make me cry, if I hadn't put those pieces together. So clearly until I wrote all of this out. And the through line was like, da, there it is. And so, you know, as part of that experience, and what it was like, which might be your next question, but I don't want to jump ahead, do you?

Deana Brown Mitchell: Know, you're absolutely correct. And Nancy does have a very, a very unique story. And I think all of the chapters in our book are pretty unique stories, and very different. But the same kind of thriller, and like you're talking about, it's all about us meeting someone at a point in their life where they feel alone, and they don't know how to get out of it, and showing them how we got through it and out of it. And, and they can too. And it's super important to, to have all of the people involved in this book, be so authentic and vulnerable and real about the things that have they've been through. And it's, it's hard to share that when you know, it's going to be out in the world forever. Oh, it's, but it's also, you know, I was just talking to DJ pre on our last interview, and we were saying you know, but it's, it's that kind of vulnerability that are going to save lives that are going to help people know they're not alone, that are going to help, you know, pick them up out of where, wherever they are, and help them find the gifts of scars like we have, because it's what fuels me every day and what makes it makes me want to get out of bed in the morning, which is not always what I want to do. But I'm one of those people that always stay in bed all day and like watch movies or read a book or whatever if I could but it's cold. But it's it's those kind of days when I don't have to be anywhere that gets me in trouble with my own depression and anxiety and all that so yeah, it's it's really it's really special to me, for all of you to share something so personal. And it's it's touches me so much to know that you all trust me and be on this journey with me and I appreciate that. So Yes, my next question is, what was your journey like writing your chapter and being part of this project?

Nancy Tilton Hand: Yeah, you. And I just want to thank you for giving, giving all of us. And I think I speak for everybody the opportunity to look and to dig into examine part of our own evolution, our own lives, and appreciate it, look at it, hold it up and go, Oh, wow, that was kind of a big deal, wasn't it, you know, or, you know, things that I ended up writing were, like I said, things I never ever expected to share. And once it's down on paper, and you're reading it, and you reading it out loud, and checking the edits, and it was like, a lot of times these things would come up. Because you're digging, you know, you're looking at the past. And I will say, I'm incredibly thankful that at this point in my life, I have tools at my disposal, like EFT Emotional Freedom, technique, and that kind of thing to manage and clear the heavy emotions that did come up, you know. And it's not maybe even justified for the moment. But things that happen when you're a kid might carry a little, a little package, shame along with it, or a little package anger along with it. And in those moments, going through this process, I was clearing and processing old stuff, you know, that maybe it slipped through the cracks that I didn't realize, and in the moment where you sit back, and I'm probably speaking for everybody here to going, nobody's gonna believe this. Or, and I know, when I read through the rest of the stories, and I can't wait, I'll be looking back at my own going, you will see, they had a spy that everybody has their own experience. And and everyone's experience, it has that gravity to it. And that that promise and potential there because, you know, our scars are our stars. Isn't that like the toughest tissue with scar tissue? And so I'm proud and honored to be with a group of such accomplished people. Scarred, beautiful people.

Deana Brown Mitchell: Yeah, liking you? Yes, I've many, many that. Probably no one knows about most of them yet. But maybe one day, I'll write all of it. We'll see. But I think

Nancy Tilton Hand: we're gonna get bumped around a little bit.

Deana Brown Mitchell: Yeah, yeah, it's true. But you know, the, I agree. It's, it's all about our journeys, through writing our stories. And it's also, like, when I started the foundation, on our website, we've always had a place where people that share their story with us. And we haven't really promoted it a lot. But I think after this book launches, we're gonna promote that more, because sharing your story is healing. And it's, it's not just sharing it with the world, but it's processing it for yourself. Even if you write something and you never share, it helps you heal from whatever trauma you've been through. And it's in I had people tell me for years, you should just journal and I was like, Yeah, whatever I don't, I don't think that will help me. You know, I don't have time for that. But when the pandemic happened, and I started writing down my thoughts, it absolutely helped me, which is kind of what got me to this project. And I think, for those of you watching that don't know, this project will benefit the realize Foundation, which is all about suicide prevention. Can we believe that conversation and community and personal story is the way that we are going to reduce the suicide statistics in the world. So that is the big mission behind this project. And I hope everyone will join us for our book launch. So Nancy, do you have any final words for people who are listening?

Nancy Tilton Hand: Oh, always, my word is somewhere out there. Today, you have a friend who is maybe has crossed your mind lately, for whatever reason, maybe no reason. And that's the perfect time to reach out. And all you have to do is say, hey, you know what, Dina? It's a beautiful day here and you crossed my mind. You know what, Rob, I saw a cardinal outside today. And you popped into my mind. I hope you're doing well. You're not asking for anything. You don't tell them to Hey, call me but now, now, none of that. I hope you're doing well. You cross my mind. It's the middle of a Wednesday, Thursday after what day? Is it Thursday? Afternoon? Yeah, you know, and you're on my mind, it means you're important. I think about you, even in the middle of my busy day. And that's literally all you have to do to make someone's day. Yeah. If you want to bump it up a little bit, do a voice text. That's it. make somebody's day make two or three it takes like literally 30 seconds to do that.

Deana Brown Mitchell: It's so true. I mean all I have gotten that text or Facebook message from a friend that we haven't heard from in a long time. And it just says, Hey, I was thinking about you today. And just that can like change your whole mindset, you know, because I think the main thing that we all have to think about when it comes to suicide prevention is the reason people get to that place is because they feel alone and they feel like no one cares. It so just that little 22nd voice message could literally save someone's life. Yep. If we if we're, if we're talking about that moment, where pour water somebody underground day,

Nancy Tilton Hand: you know, you lift somebody out of a bad day, so they don't go home and be a butthead to their family. Like, like, there's there's a ripple effect there. Yeah, absolutely. That's amazing. They're listening better, more careful and more conscientious to the next person. And it really does. That does, it's a spark, and we can keep it going. But all you have to do is reach out. Hey, I was thinking about you. Hope you're doing well.

Deana Brown Mitchell: It's It's like my favorite hashtag kindness matters, right? Because you never know what the person next to you is dealing with? Or what they're going through? And how much it would mean for you to say hello to them or open door for them. I mean, it's that simple.

Nancy Tilton Hand: Well, if we really think about it, what are the what's the probably one of the most valuable things we have right now is our attention. And you're giving them a little bit of yours?

Deana Brown Mitchell: Yeah, that's true. Well, I wouldn't

Nancy Tilton Hand: Thank you for your attention, Deaina,

Deana Brown Mitchell: Thank you for yours. I appreciate you being here and sharing more about your chapter. And I I remember meeting you and hearing that for the first time when we recorded it for the summit. And it was really unbelievable. That we grew up in such proximity and never knew each other and, and had even nection in the in the horse world and different things. And so it's crazy and so bad that we're friends now and we get to work on things like this together, happens at the right time. Yeah, that does. And for all everybody listening, I'm going to give you a little more information about the book launch. Now we're going to have a virtual event on February 22. And it's going to be at 9am. Mountain Standard Time. And it's going to be about 60 to 90 minutes. So I'm gonna take up your whole day. But it's for a really good cause. And you'll get to meet all the Authors and we'll get to have a little conversation and meet the people who are involved in the realized foundation and kind of what our mission is and what we're doing there. So, and also how to it's at Eventbrite link. It'll be below this video, and you can just register for free and join us online. So have a wonderful day and we'll see you soon.