The Power of a Few Kind Words: Lessons from a Year of Giving with Tracey Gates | RR284

Hi everyone, and welcome to this week's episode

of relationships rule. Tracy gates is my guest today, and

just perfect guest for this perfect week, because Tracy is a

kindness ambassador, a wellness coach, and the author of this

amazing book that I just finished reading, the power of a

few kind words create a more meaningful life one letter at a

time. I'm holding it up in case it ever gets to be video. But

anyway, the book is delightful, and I was so glad to read it,

and more importantly, to have Tracy on my show. So welcome to

the show, Tracy.

Thank you so much. Janice, it is a privilege and a

pleasure to spend some time with you.

Thank you. I actually came across Tracy doing

a Facebook live with a couple of friends of mine who are part of

the organization that I belong to and have been affiliated with

for at the time of this airing, it will be just over 16 years

that I've been affiliated with the greeting card company that

I'm with Send Out Cards. And it's also going to be airing the

day before World Kindness Day on purpose, because I'm so excited

about Tracy and her mission and what she has accomplished in

365, days, which is what this book is about, in essence, but

it's also about way more than that. So Tracy, I want to start

at the beginning. I want to start with with the beginning of

this book, how it came to be. And I think if I recall it was

when your mom was in her last days and was in hospice, and I

think that's how it started. Correct me? If I'm wrong, that's

not where the name came from. We'll get to that too. Yeah,

please share with me.

Well, thank you. So I I challenged myself a

number of years ago to write a handwritten, unexpected letter

of appreciation to a different person every day for one year.

And that really came out of this period of time in my life where

I was caring for my aging mother, who was just, you know,

sort of in a in a decline, and she lived two and a half hours

away from me, and I was having to drive from New Jersey to Long

Island. And if any of your listeners know that drive, it's

a very unpleasant, traffic filled drive, and I was doing

that a couple of times a week, and and in addition to that, I

had sort of a stressful work situation, and I found myself

developing an autoimmune disease. And here I am a health

coach, and I really think I take good care of myself, and I

really believe that that happened because of stress. And

I think that that all of us can relate to that you know, that

that the problems that stress can cause in our life both both

physically and emotionally. So I just decided it was sort of out

of the blue, but I had this random challenge to myself that

if daily stress could cause this physical and emotional decline,

what would happen if I put a daily dose of kindness on my to

do list? And I, you know, I had had my my private clients as a

life and wellness coach, I'd always have them write a letter

of appreciation to somebody as a way to just get out of their own

head to, sort of, you know, just fill themselves with positivity.

And I saw such such beautiful results from that. And I

realized that I had been someone who wrote letters my whole life.

I never really thought about it. It was not intentional. And I

really wanted to to see what happened when kindness became

intentional, when I became proactive about it, and it was

transformational in so many beautiful, amazing ways, and it

just empowered me so much. And I want the world to understand

that we all have this ability to make ourselves and others feel

better when we simply share our kind thoughts. And so out of

that came a book, which is how you found me,

exactly, well, and when, when I heard you

talking with joy and Sean on their little podcast, I just

said, This person is like resonating with me. I have to

have her on my podcast and they, of course, obviously, I know it

was a random meeting that you and Sean met at a networking

event. I think, right, yes, and, and we all feel this, this way

about the and through the company that we've been

affiliated with, we are constantly talking about the

Kindness Movement and, and when I'm sharing the system of of

greeting cards that we have a way of making it easy for people

to send notes and cards to people. I'm always saying, Sure,

you can send birthday cards, you can send holiday cards, but the

most important card you ever send someone is that unexpected

card. And there's story after story about that, and you have

these in. Amazing Stories in in your book that talk about that

as well. And you say in your book that the experiment, if it

could positively influence your well being, as you just said,

then it to shock your system back into regular rhythm and

transform your life. That would be amazing. And you notice

changes within weeks, but it was more than that, right? It was,

it was what it did. I know I always tell people, you know,

when you send a card to someone, you're making their day, but it

makes your day too, because you don't sure does, yeah, how much

sense makes you feel better. And so I have so many pages marked

in this book I can't tell you. You say kindness is a learned

behavior. And can you speak to that?

Sure you know it's this idea that, well, there's an

author I love named Houston craft, and he wrote a book

called Deep kindness. And in it, he says, nice happens when you

have the time. Kind happens when you make the time? Oh, I love

that. And, you know, I think we, we're all big fans, I'm sure, of

random acts of kindness and holding the door for somebody,

because we happen to be walking through it, you know. And that's

great. Keep doing that. But when we, I think we have to be become

very, as I said, intentional about kindness. You know? I

would, I would have to think every day now, who am I going to

write to? And I became I started to one of my favorite words now.

I started to linger. I started to engage in conversation with

people that I knew well, people I worked with, people you know,

at the checkout line, the woman who made me the best chai latte

ever. I just started to make more eye contact. I started to

engage people in conversation, I started to really listen for

their answer. And I realized that there is so much to

appreciate about about everybody. If we make the time,

if we become proactive, we make the time to look for it, and

then it's not just that, you know, it's not just walking away

thinking, wow, you know, Janice is such, you know, an impressive

leader. I love her warmth, you know, I need to tell her that.

And that's, you know, I call it missed opportunities for

connection. When we have a nice thought about somebody and we

let it just pass through us, and it's taking these few minutes,

and you certainly have been doing it for 16 years with your

business, we need to tell each other what we admire,

appreciate, love and respect about them. Otherwise, you know,

it's it's this, it's a gift that we didn't share, and it makes

ourselves feel better, First and most importantly, and then it's

a gift to your recipient.

You know, you were in my in my head, or my

heart, probably my heart the other day, because when I was

out and about, and I was I was getting new tires on my car,

actually, and I remember the first day I went, we with my

husband, to to this place to see if we wanted to get them there

and whatever, what sold me on going back and getting the tires

at this particular place was the girl at the counter and how

helpful she was and how kind and how patient she was with us

there and then, when I went back to get the tires, another girl

greeted us when we went in, but I felt I needed to talk to my

girl again because of that and and I noticed that. And I

noticed something else, where I was that I took an extra minute

because I love that word that you use, linger. Take that time

to just say, How is your day going? Or, you know, to engage

that person that's that's slugging, slogging away at their

job that day, because it makes such a difference. And then, of

course, if you go one step further, like I love you, to

tell the story about the chai latte, because that was a cute

one, and you'd mentioned it just now. Would you mind? Sure story,

that was one of your letters. So

I don't drink coffee. I'm a big fan of chai

latte, but it has to be sweet, not spicy. So I'm always sort of

on the lookout for a good chai latte. And a new coffee shop

opened in our town within walking distance of my home. And

I was very excited about that, because that would mean that,

you know, I could go there often if I liked it. And so I was

waiting online at, you know, at the coffee shop for my turn, and

when I got up to the counter, I realized I looked at the menu

and I didn't see chai latte on on the board. And I must have

had sort of a stricken look on my face, but I said to the

barista, please tell me you make chai latte. And the barista was

probably in her 60s, and she she was not very expressive how I

had been watching her, you know, for the people online ahead of

me. And she paused, and then she looked me dead, dead in the eye,

and she said, I'm going to make you the best shy latte you've

ever had. And I was just really taken aback. I thought, well, I

said the first thing that came to my mind, well, that's a

ballsy statement. Game on, like, Okay, how do you know what I

like? And anyway, we started to. Answer back and forth, and she,

you know, bore the little of this and froth the milk and

added cinnamon. And then she put it on the counter, and she

pushed it towards me, and she motioned for me to take a sip.

And so I picked it up, and I smelled it first, and it and it

smelled sweet, and I took a sip, and absolutely, unequivocally,

to this day, it was the best chai latte that I've ever had.

And I just, you know, I told her that, and I said, What is your

name? And she said, Cynthia. And I said, Well, Cynthia, I am

absolutely going to be back and often. Thank you so much for

making my day. And I left the store. I was walking home and

and I was just sort of, I could feel that I had a much lighter

energy about me than before I entered the store, you know, it

was an unexpected, pleasant exchange, and I was having these

nice thoughts about Cynthia. So when I got home, I decided that

she would be my letter recipient for the day, and I just, you

know, jotted down, sort of what I just said to you. You know,

that she took the time and she engaged me, and I appreciated

her and the way she treated me. So the next day, I went back and

I and I was very disappointed to see that she was not working. So

I handed the letter to the manager, who promised me she

would share it with Cynthia. And then I wasn't able to go back

for about two weeks. And when I went back in, Cynthia had her

back to the door. She was making a coffee for a gentleman, but

she kind of looked over her shoulder, but didn't, not,

didn't turn all the way, and she just said, What will you have?

And I said, Well, I'll have the best chai latte ever. And with

that, the poor guy, right? She stopped making his coffee. She

turned around, her eyes instantly filled with tears, and

she said, I have been doing this job for decades, and nobody has

ever taken the time to tell me that they appreciate what I do

or how I do it. She came around the counter and she gave me a

pre pandemic 32nd hug that I can still feel in my in my bones

today, and she just said, You made not only my day, but my

week, my month and my year, and I've been reading your letter

every day before I come to work, and you know, I I was so I was

just blown away by her response. And I thought, well, first of

all, that's the saddest thing that she that this LED that my

simple letter, what I thought was so simple, had such an

impact. And this was early on in my year of letter writing, and

it made me really become cognizant of the fact that

people rarely receive letters like this unexpectedly, because

people are rarely writing them, and that every one of us has the

ability to take five minutes grab a post it note, company

letterhead, monogram, stationary, the back of a

receipt and tell something. I tell somebody something nice

about them. It can take 30 seconds or five minutes, and we

can change somebody's and make somebody's day, week, month,

year, just like Cynthia.

It's such a great story and and today, and I have

to because of what I do, I have to just add they can even do it

from their phone. They can go to our app, they can find a card.

It can just say, just because which is what I love, just a

note or or thank you or whatever, and then write that

message. Even add a photo of the person, if they have one that

they've taken or that they they find on Facebook or whatever,

and click Send, and it's gone, and a real card will come in the

mail to that person. And I love that you said it can be that,

you know, it can be monogram stationary, or it can be a post

it note. It doesn't matter, but, and it even doesn't matter

whether it's done on your phone electronically anymore, because

if anything will get someone to do that, then that's great,

right? If that's right, that's right. It makes it happen,

because it doesn't happen so much of the time, right? That's

right. I mean, my journey and my book is about the

power of the handwritten letter. However, i To your point, if

you're not going to take the time to do that, please pick up

the phone, send one of your beautiful cards, whatever,

whatever it is that do it from your phone, because you will be

surprised. Every one of your audience and every person in

this world loves to go to their mailbox, open it up and find an

unexpected letter for no reason. I never do it around a birthday

or a holiday, as you said, yeah, and to suddenly just hear, hey,

I think you're pretty terrific. And this is why they're going to

they're going to share that letter if they have someone to

share it with in their home, and they'll never throw it away.

They're never going to throw it away. It is going to be saved

forever in their special box or file. And I, you know, I just

want to reiterate over and over that this world is craving

kindness, and it doesn't take much. And if everyone just, you

know, I offer a challenge to to everyone for Try, try for seven

days, for one week, to write a letter of appreciation to

somebody and see how you feel. Because really, I mean, it's

wonderful for the recipient, but it's really about how it it

affects the letter writer.

Yes, yeah. And one of the very cool things

about your book is, at the end of each chapter, you do give a

challenge and and a suggestion for people to do things moving

forward. Um, do you? You say, consider this, and then for your

journey, and those are your pieces through the to to empower

other people to, you know, think about doing and actually do it.

I wanted to know if you and, Oh, and one other thing about what

we just talked about is that when they get that letter or

that card, whatever it is that comes in the mail, usually as

the fact that it comes in an envelope that isn't look like a

number 10 envelope with a or, you know, with a cellophane on

the, you know, right? Yeah? And that window, yeah, a window

envelope, right? Or it's not a bill. They're excited and

they'll open it. And what happens when they do open it is,

it takes them from their head to their heart, yes, those

endorphins that are released is, that's where, what what we're

doing right when we're sending that kindness out. So yeah,

there was another story that really struck me, and that was

that I would love you to share, which was the one about Miss

Davis when you were on jury duty. Do you mind sharing that?

I love that? No, not. I

love, I love sharing the story. You know, I,

like, like, most of us, have been called for jury duty. We

don't always, all my years, you haven't, no, wow. Well, maybe

you're about to be maybe. And I would suggest that you go. So,

you know, most people don't really want to go. And you're, I

was sent a piece of paper with a barcode on it, and you have to

bring it with you, and they scan you in. I got to the courthouse.

There was I waited on a long line. I call it like a cattle

call line. About 150 people are called each day, and you have to

check in with one of two women sitting behind a desk. And I got

to the one, it was my turn. I gave them my paper. She scanned

me in, and then she stopped, and she looked me right in the eye.

And she said, Good morning, Tracy. We're so happy to have

you here. Please take a seat wherever you want. When

everyone's checked in, we'll tell you how the day will

unfold. And that just struck me in this setting, to be addressed

by name and have eye contact, right? So I sat in the front of

the room and I watched these two women, and they did that for

every single person they checked in, addressed by name and eye

contact. So then one of the women, finally, after we were

all settled, she stood up and she told us had the day would

unfold. And again, I found myself pleasantly surprised. She

was so warm. And then she was actually funny, and I was

laughing in the courthouse, which, again, was not something

I expected. And she has. She said, you know, at the end, when

you get dismissed from your jury, you have to come back into

this room and check out with us and scan out, otherwise you will

be arrested. And you know, we were all she just, she just had

a great, great way about her, and she was very appreciative of

our time. So and, oh, and then she said, I've been doing that.

She'd been doing the same job for 28 years. And that really

struck me, because, again, it was a job that didn't seem like

it would be particularly engaging. And so anyway, I got

called, then I had to wait a while before I got called for my

jury. And I decided that I would write a letter to this woman and

just tell her that it was a different experience than I

expected, and I really appreciated the way she treated

us. So I found out her name was Miss Davis, and I wrote Miss

Davis a note, and then I was called for my jury, and I left

the note on her desk. She did not see me do that. The next

day, I was dismissed from my jury, and because I didn't want

to be arrested, I went back in to check out, and it was the

same two women, and it was the morning, and there was the long

line again, and when it was my turn, Miss Davis was working

with someone else, so I checked out with the other woman. She

scanned my name in, and then she said, Wait a minute. Apparently

Miss Davis had asked her to be on alert for me, because I had

signed my name on the card. And she tapped Miss Davis on the

shoulder, and she looked up, and then she, you know, she just

kind of motioned for me to meet her in the front of the desk,

and she got up, she walked around, and in front of the next

days 150 jurors, she said a very similar thing to that. Cynthia

said to me. She said, I have been doing this for 28 years,

and nobody has ever in this jury pool written me a note to tell

me they appreciate how I do conduct myself. And she said, I

brought the letter home to my family. I read it to them at

dinner, and again, you made not only my day, but my week, my

month, my year. I mean, she said the same thing that Cynthia

said, and then she gave me another one of these beautiful

hugs. And I I left that courthouse again with just a

skip in my step, and leaving a courthouse with a skip in your

step. I don't know it wasn't what I was expecting you.

Expecting, right? And there's a beautiful sort of addendum to

the story, and that it's that, you know, I've shared the story

about Miss Davis at many workshops over the over the

years, and I decided when I was writing the book that I needed

to get in touch with her. I just needed to let her know that she

continued to be. A bright spot in my life, and I had no idea if

she'd still be working at the courthouse, but I left some

emails at, you know, in different spots on the on the

website. And a few hours later, my phone rang, and I answered

it, and this woman said, I hear you've been looking for me. This

is Miss Davis, and we had such a joyful reunion. And I said, Do

you even remember me? And she said, not. She said, Well, do I

remember you? She said, You are the nicest person who's ever

come through the jury the jury room. And she said, You know, I

kept your note taped to my wall. And she said, when COVID

happened, we were told to take home everything that was

important to us, because, of course, at the time, nobody knew

how long we'd be closed. She said, I took your note home, and

it hangs on my living room wall with the pictures of my

grandchildren, bless her, which just, you know, it's just

remarkable to me. You know, the here, this was something that I

it was heartfelt and it was authentic, but it wasn't, you

know, I wrote it in five minutes sitting there, and it meant that

much to her that it's hanging with her children and pictures

of her children. And I, I just, I don't want any of us to

underestimate the power that we have. You know, I call it a

superpower, but we can change the trajectory of our own lives

and others when we are intentional about kindness when

it becomes of that a value that is the most important one in

your life.

Yeah, your message is like, so strong and

so powerful. I You talk about how you weren't, and this is an

important piece about that unexpected letter or card that

goes to somebody is that you give, you send out to give, not

to get, and so you're not expecting anything in return.

You just let it go out to the universe and to that person. And

what I thought was interesting is, out of the 365 letters that

you wrote, you you heard back from more than half of them, I

think it was, what was the number I did? It

was 167, it was, yeah. It was about 67% Yeah,

that's right. And I was, I don't know why I kept track. It was

just for my own because it was, sort of became the study that I

was doing exactly again, I truly have no expectation to hear back

from people. And just as you say, please write these with the

expectation that you won't you if you never, if you never hear

back, it doesn't mean that it was not impactful, right? You

know, you just, it just didn't warrant a response from that.

Well, it was funny. I was, I was on a call

with a couple of people. I don't know if it was a networking like

a breakout room or something, and one of the people was

someone I knew, and the other one wasn't. And we, I guess,

they asked me what I did or something, and I mentioned the

that I, you know, help people nurture relationships through

sending cards and gifts. And the other person said, I still have

the card you sent me on my desk from five years ago, and it's

got my picture on it, and I, and I always thought, like, almost

embarrassed, but no,

like, that's the thing that's beautiful. It

happens.

It happens when you're not expecting it, right,

right? Yeah, that's right. People do not. It's

hard to throw away kind words about yourself, and

it's a great I say it's like a dose of medicine and envelope

because it physically makes you feel better. That release of

serotonin, the reduction of stress, you know, to boost our

immune system, we sleep better. It alleviates pain. But the and

then the recipient, you know, has this, this beautiful,

tangible thing that they can reference when they're having a

down day,

absolutely so I do think it's important to to

share with my audience the the origin of the name of your book,

The of the power of a few kind words, because that's a phrase

that was very special to you, and I think it's important to

share that. Would you mind sharing that?

Sure. So I was very blessed to have a beautiful

relationship with my father.

Oh, I see on who his

picture, he's in the book, and he was just a

teddy bear, and I and he never had a negative word to say about

anybody. He truly, to this day, is, is the most non judgmental

person that I've ever met. Everybody loved him, but I will

say he had this one really annoying habit, that anytime

anybody in our extended family asked him what he wanted for his

birthday or for Christmas, he said the same thing every time,

all I want is a few kind words. And while that might sound very

sweet, we hated that, right? Because, you know, how do you

wrap that up, you know? So we get him a tie. We get him argyle

socks. My sister and I bought him an actual live Golden

Retriever puppy one year, which he ended up naming bogey after

his most recent golf game, when all he really wanted was a few

kind words. So we never, we kind of brushed it off, and we didn't

pay attention to the fact that, now I know, in hindsight, that

was his. Language of love, words of affirmation. But then, when I

was 24 my dad passed away unexpectedly of a heart attack

on the tennis court. I was engaged for four weeks at that

time, and he would never get to walk me down the aisle, and I

would never get to give him a few kind words. And well, I know

that. I know that he knew I loved him. It wasn't really,

until I became a life and wellness coach 30 years later in

my 50s, that it really, I really embraced that that his love

language is words of affirmation and the same as mine. And so

when I went through that sort of difficult time caring for my mom

and and I decided to challenge myself to write a letter a day

for a year. I just to myself, I named it a few kind words, and

it was like a legacy of love to my dad, and it brought him alive

again. And I would say, like dad, who should we write to

today? You know, Never did I think it was going to turn into

a book at that point, and and so it just a few kind words. Is the

only option for a title for the book for me, and the book is

really part memoir, part self help, and I call that a heaping

dose of positivity.

It's beautiful, I know, and I love that, and that

it it speaks to, really, the lessons your father taught you

as well without you even knowing it. Right kind of thing when you

were growing up? Yeah, so I know that it changed your life, and

it changed your vocation, really, as well, didn't it?

Right? And yes, you're a life and health coach, but what do

you spend your time doing now? Oh, well, I

occasionally still have private clients, but my my

passion, really, is sharing this message, and I do it through

workshops all over the all over the country. I've spoken to, you

know, private groups, nonprofits, schools, businesses,

you know, anybody really, I feel like this message is is

appropriate for the lower elementary school kids I've

spoken to, and seniors senior communities as well and and

honestly, there is. It brings joy to my life every day to be

able to just remind people of a power that they have, and to

know that that we can do something to promote to move

humanity forward, is a joy. And I really credit my dad, you

know, to be my partner in this. And so I just, I enjoy speaking

to groups, doing podcasts, and it's for me, it's how I hope to

spend the rest

of my life. So you start each chapter with with

with beautiful quotes. I just opened to chapter 15, kindness

is my happily ever after. Be kind whenever possible. It is

always possible by the Dalai Lama, and that's so true. And

each chapter had a beautiful quote at the beginning. I love

quotes, and I love the fact that that this whole movement, I

mean, that's what we're all about with. Send Out Cards. It's

about the Kindness Movement, and it's, it's one person at a time,

it's one card at a time. It's really just making it happen.

And so you just sort of fit right in, in the sense of you

are a great ambassador of this whole movement. And I love

something you just said. It made me think so. When I was

teaching, I think it was early on, actually, in my days with

Send Out Cards, I wasn't still teaching, and there was a man I

met who lit, who was a child psychologist in California, I

think he was in LA and he did, he was part of the Send Out

Cards program at the time, and he was doing a little experiment

with a second grade class who were in the computer room. They

had a computer room in their class, and he had each child

with the teacher. He did this where the teacher or where the

the children each drew a picture of their mom, you know, special

picture, and then they, with the teacher's help, they uploaded

them to the computer, and they used the Send Out Cards platform

to put that photo on the front of each of the kids cards, and

then the card to their mom. And so the point being that that

same movement, the Kindness Movement, was starting with

second graders. And I mean, that's it has to start with our

children. It does. It

does. We have to be role models for our children

and for our grandchildren. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I did something

for for a high school, actually, which is another group that

really needs this message. But I recorded a 20 minute video about

a few kind words, and then it was played in every classroom on

this particular day that was a service day, and then there were

1500 Students. And then every one of them in that in their

class then wrote an unexpected letter of appreciation to any

adult in the school community. And 1500 letters of appreciation

were just released, you know, into this community. And, you

know, and I heard beautiful stories back about, about, you

know, how that made everybody feel.

Can you repeat that a million times like you

have to? Yeah, it's amazing. That's a great idea.

Yeah, it was. So

that video that you did, is that video anywhere

or

was, well, it's just for this. It was sort of

moderated, or I was introduced by the vice principal of the

school. And, yeah, I wonder if I could use that and cut, cut out

that part of it

well. And I, or I can see you redoing that and,

and, yeah, putting it out there. And then whoever wants to use

it, you could do a little,

yeah, a new intro or something, yeah,

because the message has to be out there. And

yeah, that, and you're right. I mean, the kids today, they

don't, you know, we always said, Well, we had to send a thank you

note, or my mom would kill me, you know, or that That's right,

that's right.

And they Yeah, they're not inclined to do that.

And they need, they need us as role models to show them, and

people get a text right right now, but I also say to people,

write to your children, write to your grandchildren. Leave a

letter on their pillow, hide it in their desk drawer, in their

backpack, because while they're not used to writing letters,

when they receive a letter where you tell them that you see them,

you know that you value them for who they are and where they are

in their life. That can be the difference between them them,

you know, fully succeeding and or not. I mean, they need to

hear from us that we you know that we love them

unconditionally.

You have totally inspired me in more ways than

you know. I mean, I'm so glad. I mean, I send cards, but and I

actually tell my my clients to put a post it note on their by

their computer that says, who needs to hear from me today?

That's great idea, yeah,

so that they can get into the habit of sending a

note, a card, a letter, whatever, right?

Beautiful. And can I just add one thing that I

mean, I know that you, you deal a lot with businesses, but I

want to stress the point that that this is not this idea of

sending notes to to people. There's no difference between

your personal life and your professional life where this is

concerned, right? If you you know your company should foster

a culture of appreciation, and you know, I want everyone to be,

to be part of that, that culture. You know, if you want

to improve, improve, collaborate, collaboration,

productivity, you know you need to tell people, your colleagues

and your clients, what you appreciate about them. So just

don't think it's just for people in your private life. You know,

it's your brief point as well. Great point, because they're all

people, and that's right, it's all about we all respond to

being seen.

Yes, absolutely. People really respond and yeah,

to to the positive reinforcement that they hear. And I know I see

it with my granddaughter, she's five, and I love watching her,

you know, and encouraging her in the right ways, too. But you

know, you're right. There's some people, yeah, that never get

that and right, yeah. I never assume

that somebody knows how you feel. You're like,

Oh, I've already told them, you know, it just may be that your

message is received on the day that they particularly needed to

hear that totally.

Hear that a lot. You'll never this, yeah, this

came on a day when you have no idea that's right, absolutely.

Well, this has been delightful, and I know we could go on

forever. I think if I'd like you to leave one challenge or piece

of advice or whatever to my audience moving forward, well,

I'm

going to read it. Thank you. I'm going to

reiterate that challenge to please try to write a letter a

day for one week, seven days, no

time, no

trying, just do it. Do it for seven days, and

then get your if you have children at home, or a family at

home, or your colleagues at work, get them to do it with

you, because it's the most beautiful conversation starters.

Who did you write to today and why or how did it make you feel?

And you know, if you want to feel your energy level rise,

just try to do you know, talk with somebody about writing

these letters, and it's an instant energy boost and and

linger, just linger.

I did want to say that, that I love that word that

linger, that's my when you're leaving curiosity. And my word

is curiosity. Oh, I love that too. And linger is this is

allowing. Will have that curiosity. That's

right. When you linger, you can be you can

become more curious. Yeah, because everybody has has gifts,

you know, to be found, and we need to, we need to find what

people are good at and let them know it.

I have so many more questions now, during it,

we'll have to come back. Definitely have to come back,

because I'm thinking like one thing you said in the book, and

some people say, Well, what do I say? What will I say? I don't

know what to say in the message, in the note, in the letter,

right? And if you open your heart, and you're coming from

your heart, it'll come right? You know, you didn't say thank

you in any of these things. That's right.

I my personal challenge, and I offer to you

too, is to never say thank you, because I do believe that

sometimes we hide behind the word thank you and try to just

say I appreciate you, and here's why, and then be specific, don't

just say I appreciate you. It's about the special sauce is

telling them why. That's what makes them save it, cry, read it

again.

Yeah, fantastic. Oh, this has been a delight.

Thank you so much, Tracy, for being on the show. I know my

audience will resonate with all of the messages, and hopefully

by your book, because it's worth the read. Honestly. Look at

mine's got marks in it everywhere. And thank you again

for being here. Thank you for being on the call. Thank you to

my audience as always, and remember to stay connected and

be remembered.

Thank you so much. Dennis, you're welcome.