Inspiring Change, Elevating Experiences with Katie Mares | RMT231

Hi this is Laurel and welcome back to laurels real money talks a podcast where we talk about money. And that includes everything, how to make it, how to keep it, how to invest it, and how to use a team, which is imperative, because our financial services experience is all segregated. It needs to be integrated. Otherwise, you can get an entity you can get a trust, you can get life insurance, you get all these things, but who's helping you glue it together. So you actually have a masterpiece financially versus these broken pieces. So on our podcast, as many of you know, if you haven't subscribed, make sure you subscribe and click the notification button. Every Friday morning, we come out with a podcast about something. And today our interview is with Katie mares, who is going to talk about just women empowerment. Her book is called the customer hurt experience, which is about women and empowerment. And then we're gonna get some nitty gritty technology, which is around AI bots, and how to not give up the human experience. So one of the things Katie I love about your work. And it's just been a huge decision of mine, as I came into being coach and mentor is I was in too many big people's programs and I would never actually get to talk to the guru was very difficult to talk to them. So you end up with all this other low touch, you know, online, go to a masterclass and learn it all. No, I want to talk to a human. So we chose high high high touch. I know you do too. And Katie is a best selling author. What I love most about your whole bio is the TED Talk and Keynote pieces. Because TED talks are more difficult than you all think to do and Nehalem. So well done on that. And so let's start so give us a little background like how did you end up here? What was your history of why this became important to you?

Yeah, for sure. I mean, I have a colorful history. And I'm going to you know, we were going to zoom past I'm going to do it at lightning speed. But I started at feet. I designed still shoe stores, I designed guest experiences for shoe stores, I you know, operational and sales. We actually brought I'm here in Canada, we were the first to bring designer Shoe Warehouse into Canada. So as part of that team, I went from feet to teeth, and I actually designed Canada's first online educational platform for the dental industry. So that was a really cool experience. And somewhere along the line, I fell in love with the customer experience patient experience. And so I started my side hustle, I started to train under a mentor. So every day off, I had every vacation I had every sick day I had, I was working on my craft and getting my name out there. It came to a point where I was CEO of North America's largest dental consulting firm, and I left a cushy, multi six figure job to follow my dream and my dream being to impact change at an organizational level so that a the organization can make more money in order to provide experiences for their customers, which increases that loyalty. It increases their referral rate and it increases their top line. So I moved through that. I mean, I've worked with some of the largest organizations in the world Celebrity Cruises, being one of them, design their experience I traveled around the world doing that I've worked with medical I mean hospitals you name it, I've done it and then I had a really awful car buying experience and that that catapulted me into the female consumer I could not believe the experience I was being provided for the second largest purchase a human makes I mean unless you are multi millionaire billionaire where you're buying jets and boats and multiple houses and investment properties the average Joe it's their home and their vehicle and I could not believe when I was going out to try to spend my $75,000 budget that I couldn't even give my money away. Because I was a woman and I would get is your dad coming do you make enough money is your husband coming? I haven't got once you know where's your grandpa like you? You know and I was like are you kidding? Are you kidding me? I am trying to give you my money. took me seven dealerships in order to actually spend my money and it's on a brand it's Hyundai. They gave me a fantastic experience and a brand I wouldn't have chosen I wanted the name brand I wanted the and no not knocking soccer moms and their vans but that is just not who I am. I wanted the really either

Jeep girl, I drive actly. So,

yeah, so I then started down the rabbit hole, I started to research the physiological differences between men and women and why we buy versus why they buy. So I actually took apart the brain down to a scientific and molecular level. And I just started to design a vase

you and I want you to go down a rabbit hole just like take a few minutes, what is the biggest difference? Because we're going to have our and continue our conversation is the in the experience. So what is the biggest difference between the man and female brain? I mean, a lot of people may have heard it, but let's, let's hear. So

there's, there's, there's two really big ones. One is our limbic brains. So our emotional and memory hub of our brain, the females, brain is just about double the size of a man. So I always say when I work with individuals, males, and I say if you have a grandmother, wife, daughter, sister, any woman in your life, that remembers a fight from, you know, in grave detail from five years ago, it's because she's she's meant to, it's because she's meant to. The second one would be the way we communicate. So men actually only use one side of their brain to communicate. And that's logic, where women have more gray matter. And we actually have use, we have pathways neural pathways, using both sides creativity and logic. So when we talk, we talk in more detail, we storytel more, we want that that warm and fuzzy feeling where men are very utilitarian, point A to point B path of least resistance. And that's how they communicate as well as just what that one side of their brain.

Interesting. And so let's fast forward to the book. How did the book come out of this as you started doing your homework and your passion and your studying? Talk about your book?

Yeah, for sure. So I ended up applying and speaking to speak at all the automotive, automotive was a space I went into because cars is what got me there, my awful experience. And as I started to design my keynote, I started writing articles, I started getting a little bit of attention. It was starting to stick. And I was like, huh, there's a book here. And so I started writing my book custom her experience.

I love it. And so talk a little bit about what is in the book, because I know you're gonna give by the end of our conversation, she's gonna give you some ticket free tickets to her event and a free copy of the book. So all sorts of goodies coming, talk about what the they're gonna learn in the book, why get it? And then I want to move over to our fun part of AI conversation.

Yeah, for sure. So in the book, I not only break down from the scientific level, the differences between men and women. But I actually give you a roadmap on how to design these experiences. So I break down the customer journey, I talk about your brand standards, how to elevate that I talk about the experience, a woman wants a hedonic experience versus utilitarian experience, Woman versus man. And I really break break it down. So it's kind of a playbook that you can use to elevate the experience you offer the world's most influential consumer.

I love that. I love that. So let's move to the technology side of having the human experience in the AI experience. And we've already heard chatter GPT there's a lot of other AI tools coming in, in the in the works already. But we've also seen total misuse of them lawyers being disbarred. Counting has been, you know, pulled their licenses, variety of financial experts at licenses pulled because they're using chat GPT not doing the corrections, not managing it. So talk a little bit about that experience. And I'd say the good and the bad. Yeah,

for sure. Well, I was speaking out at a conference about three weeks ago, and I was on I was talking about the five star experience five steps to a five star experience. And I got in the room and they all sat down a standing room only the room was packed right out the door. And I looked at them all and I said we are not going to talk about AI. And the entire room erupted in applause because all they've heard about is technology and AI and I mean, we're gonna talk about the human experience. And so I'm not anti technology, but I am anti technology, if you're thinking it's going to replace that touch, because once you do that you've gone to one extreme and you're going to lose your customer. I mean, how hard is it for us to actually get a human on the phone these days? It's, it's, it's next to impossible. And it's frustrating because no matter which way you slice the cake, if you own a business which everyone on here or you work in a business, you have a customer, your customer is not a bot. Your customer is human. So you cannot use a bot to serve your customer. You can use a bot to enhance your systems and processes. You can use this AI in order to maybe make things a little more smoother, to give some, you know, pave that smoother path for your employees, so there's less resistance for what they need to do, however, your customer is human. And in order to take their money and earn their money, you need to treat them as such. And so we can't go to the, you know, opposite end of the spectrum where it's just, oh, well, I'm just going to have aI take care of this, they can service my customer, you're going to lose your customer. And here's the thing, the World Wide Web exists. So you can they can google your competition in like 30 seconds flat, hey, they'll even use chalky GPT to tell tell you tell them who your competitors are. And then we're going to go to them so the person is going to give them the experience is the the business and then use the person people do businesses, business with people. That's who they're gonna do business with, they're gonna do business with the person that actually connects with them.

Absolutely. Talk about then inside of that the five star experience, I'm gonna get to break down again, you have to go into detail, but just the top five things that you just mentioned, that create that five star experience as they're designing the human experience. Yeah, for

sure. So what you say and how you say it matters. It's hard not to go into tones, but don't or into detail, but don't use, you know, slang useful sentences and your tone of your voice is the thing that matters the most, you can have a call center that's serving your customers out wherever in the world you have them. But your customer, when they're, let's say you have kids or your son, or anybody's kid, they know they're in trouble by the tone of you know, their parents voice, right, like how they say their name, or you like when you're when a wife will say it to a husband, vice versa. Tone is something that's universal. And so if you're frustrated, if you've got a lot going on, if you're angry, that comes out in your voice, and your customers receive that. So what you say and how you say it matters. You want to use their name. And use your name, it breaks down those barriers, and that makes them feel like they're important to you. You want to make be intentional with being genuine, creating a genuine connection. And a lot of folks will tell me, well, Katie, why I don't know them? Why do I need to be genuine? Why do I need to care? And I know ask permission to be

asked that question, like, do

they do they all do? And I'm like, well, who's paying for the roof over your head, the food on your table and little Johnny's soccer? Um, well, I work No, no, your customer, your customers, the reason you can do these things. So if you can't find a way to be genuine with them, then I mean, I don't know what you're doing in life, you want to anticipate their needs and deliver a plus one. So you want to collect those golden nuggets, our favorite person to talk about is ourselves. So our customers will give us everything we need in order to elevate that experience. And then you want to be a hero. And what does that mean? It Listen, we are human, we're not bots. So we are going to screw up, we are going to drop the ball. And that service recovery system you have in place will often create more loyal customers than the experience you provide itself. So you want to be a hero. I

like that. But you know, I like the about the words of use of service recovery, because I don't think people have a service recovery. They'll call it customer service. But I actually like the spin of those words, which is the recovery because you know, you're going to drop balls in our organization, when I say just depends on which ball you dropped when you drop it because there will be

balls dropped. Yes, that's, that's a fact of life. It's gonna happen and

be a truth teller. Tell him up. Yep, drop that ball, just pick it up, we'll hit reset button and we go again, and just, you know, keep moving on. And don't you find the less negative energy around that, you know, making a big deal about it versus sorry, or however you move on? Give it give some language maybe to how that how you do that? Because we're very transparent about how we do it. Like yeah, so and we just, you know, we always say truth telling is your best avenue to handle that.

Well, you're dealing with a human right so they understand. They get it you know, hey, I it's saying I'm sorry, a lot of you know, the customer's always right is that is the saying we the saying we hear all the time saying sorry, isn't necessarily admitting that you've done something wrong saying sorry for how that customer is feeling or how they've perceived that interaction because perception is reality. It doesn't matter what we think is a great experience. It only matters what the customer perceives is a great experience. So saying, Sorry, and putting yourself in your customers shoes and saying how could I have been better? How can we serve you differently? What would you have needed? How can I make it right? And so those that's the the always asking questions, listening and then taking that information and tailoring the experience to what they need and want.

Perfect. So talk about your events. So tell me a little bit about your business. So when people come in, they obviously get a lot of blueprints, your book, the five stars, you know, the five star experience. Talk a little bit about the event that you're doing and the women empowerment that you're doing about taking control. And those of you will start prepping you to go get your gift. It's an ask laurel.com forward slash, take control to get a guest from Katy. And again, when you go to ask laurel.com and redo that part, redo that part, the link is slash, five star. Oh, it's in the chat as take control. That's the one from before. Yep, it's this one. Okay, so it's five. Letter five or number five? Number five? Yep. Okay. All right. So to get the gifts from Katie, you're gonna go to ask laurel.com forward slash five star. So put in the number five star and get her guests. We're going to talk about more in a moment. And at anytime, if you have any question for us go to asshole.com. You can make requests, you can ask a question. And we have a team that 24/7 Man's that it makes sure that you get what you need from us at any time. So let's move to your event. Katie, and talk about the women and why women empowerment is because of the challenge we have as women. I mean, I know. You know, I always partner with men, people say why department of men when you're always such a, you know, women champion and single mom champion, said because I don't care how deep you dig in this world everywhere in the world. When I bring a man as a business partner next to me, we get farther. And I know that sounds horrible. And women hate to hear it. Oh, it's the true. It's just the truth. So as always, women, like I know you're gonna launch us more on like the International Women's Day. But I'm usually the one on the Women's International Day saying women because they don't negotiate. They don't stick up for themselves. And they don't ask is why they're paid less. There's no other reason other than the lack of negotiation, because the skill sets are there. I don't believe that. I think women are just scared to ask and negotiate. What's your thoughts on all of that? Yes.

So I'm going to answer my thoughts on that. And then I'll give you sort of the background on ladies take control. Yes, yes. 1000 times, yes. So when I stand up on stage, and I talk to a group of women, again, I asked permission to be radically honest with them, and pretty firm. But I say, We cannot wait for an industry for a company for the world to make equality a thing like it just we can't. So now we need to stop making excuses and walk towards that line, we need to show up as our best. We are all capable, we need to find our voices stand in our power. And we need to build our own tables. It is what it is. And I always urge women to to find their voice use their voice and not use equality, or any of the obstacles that we have as an excuse as to why we don't have what we want. A lot of the times it's just easier to lean into that excuse than it is to actually do the hard work.

I would agree. I would agree love that you've brought it up that way. And that is well and I speak a lot to the especially women but single parents but you know, being a single parent isn't a victim experience. It's a real experience. I went into parenting knowing I'd be a single mom. And it's the same thing. It's just easy to use things as excuses like, versus like Katie says do the work.

I'm a single mom, I'm a single mom, and I'm out. And I'm a I'm a I'm a true victim. I'm a victim of domestic abuse. i Yeah, so this is where ladies control about 110 days ago, I was discarded by my he was supposed to be my fiancee and bank accounts were frozen. And so this is a lesson ladies that you have to take because you have to stand on your own two feet. And what I didn't do, what I did do and I shouldn't have done is I invested in his businesses. I invested my time I gave up my career, I did all the things that a good wife, a good wife is supposed to. And now I'm in litigation. I'm getting back, you know, to get my money back out of out of the businesses and all the things but it was he basically said go sell your body for groceries, he cut off my credit card. I know right cut off my credit card, cut off the bank accounts, all the things and this is where ladies take control came from. I had to I had two choices. I could sock and be a victim, which I am legitimately a victim. But I didn't have to have a victim mindset. So I could choose the other. So you can still be a victim somebody and we can't control the hand of cards. We're dealt all the time. We just can't. But we sure as heck can control how we play them. And so ladies take control was born out of my darkest days to how you can see that no matter what where you are in life, it is a choice. Is it a choice, it's a choice to rise, it's a choice to keep going, it's a choice to take control of your life. And so that's where the event was born. And now, my podcast is launching on March 8, ladies take control, which is, we're not going to focus on all the bad stuff that happens to us, we're going to focus on setting the power of your mindset, the power of your voice, and using that. And then the event second event is happening. There's a big thunderstorm happening here. I'm so sorry if you guys can hear that. But the second event is happening June 14, and we're really excited about it and our

app is live or they live excuse me, they live are they on zoom

there. So it's virtual us. And what's really cool is that if you can't make it, you will get the link and get the replay. So sign up, the free ticket is there for you empower yourself, there's literally zero excuse I'm giving you 00 reasons not to attend, you have to attend to step into your power. We have some incredible speakers. And it's actually going to also give you a 30 day free trial of our app and our app is coming out the ladies take control community where we are bringing in all of the training, personal professional development, energetic development,

you should do the finance development I got it's like we got it on my calendar risky. Yes, yes,

let's, let's seriously, let's talk about that the finance I need, I need somebody for financial development, financial literacy. And everybody's going to come onto that app and have all of that. And so with with the launch of the of the second event, we will have 30 day free access to that community. Awesome.

Well done, well done. So again, go to askloral.com/fivestar, and you'll get the two tickets and the book and be able to follow Katie and everything else she's doing. So give some more words of wisdom and actions, right. So wisdom is more inspirational, like, you know, things to think about and be inspired to do. And then what is just some daily actions that you always tell women, what they can do to take control.

Yeah, so words of inspiration and wisdom. Gosh, you are worth everything you could ever dream of. So you need to dare to dream it. But then you need to do something about it. Yeah. And so that action piece and your dreams aren't reality without action. And the action is scary. It's not easy. It's really hard. And so lean into and start enjoying the heart. Because the hard It means you're doing something, when it's easy, you're coasting, and you need to check your dreams at the door, because they're not going to become reality.

So give us an example of hard because I mean, I like that you just get right into that language. I always say my language around it is just a diff. It's just different. It's not difficult. It's different. It's different. So the difference causes the uncomfort, which feels like it's hard. But it's really just something different you're doing and if you're not used to be like causing discomfort, and you're just so used to being comfortable. do little things like you know, I remember Robert Bob Proctor used to say, just if you start with you know, your your pants, and then your shirt or your shirt in your pants, or how you brush your teeth, do it with your left hand instead of your right hand. Like just start doing things different, like at the most simplest form, even how you eat or how you write or how you do anything, and just start doing a difference, you start getting used to being uncomfortable with the common safe tasks that you do. So I always thought that was like a hysterical thing to give people but I started giving it to people because they don't even know how to be uncomfortable. Yeah,

well, that's that

discomfort is hard.

Well, that's so that's the wording of hard is it feels hard, it feels like you don't know what to do, you don't know what next steps to take you. It feels difficult or it feels different. So it feels difficult, just as you as you describe that, but that's when you know you're you're brushing up against the edge of something better. And, and like an example of a task I encourage women to do is to say something like if you think it say it, so it feels very uncomfortable. So even if it's just to a friend or even if you write it down, but stop suppressing your thoughts because your thoughts are valuable. And you're worthy. You have ideas and you need to start thinking that way. So if you if you think something, say it and don't apologize for it. And so doing something simple like that, whether it's just calling up and Fred and saying oh I had this idea, get used to expressing yourself and step into that power of your voice and using your voice. Something else would be um You know, starting a morning routine, adding one new thing, every single you know, every 67 days, it takes 67 days to actually make a habit. So gratitude, I always you mean, if you start with your morning with gratitude, three things every single morning for 67 days, it's gonna be hard to do it. Because you're not used to it, but it will completely shape your day. Then I added at night, what, you know, what were my lessons that I learned at night, you know, throughout the day, and what am I grateful for. And doing those taking those little actions actually will completely shape your mindset and reframe your mindset, which allows you to take over and start doing the harder things.

Yeah, and one of the things that I encourage you to do if you don't have a journal, and by the way, we have journals that we have given to our YouTube channels, journal, what Katie was just talking about, like, start journaling, the three things that you're grateful for, and that cannot be the thing I add to it that makes it a little more elevated, is you can't keep repeating the same thing. So 67 days, you're gonna have three things, you're gonna have almost 200 things that you're grateful for. And if you're sitting there going, I'm not grateful for like 200 things, start writing them down, start getting creative, start thinking of the little things. of just, I mean, the beauty of our mountain we live in Lake Tahoe area, you kidding, like, I could say just the air and you know, water. In the meantime, it's

my coffee in the morning, the warmth of the coffee, you know, like, wow, like, I get to drink this coffee, and I get to write this gratitude list is just set and you need to start small and smallest. Okay, that's the other thing, like stop bashing yourself or shaming yourself for thinking that, you know, oh, is it enough? Well, of course, it's enough, you're doing something new. And tomorrow, you'll build on top of that. And the next day, you'll build on top of that. So I would say you know, just get rid of your own negative Nancy voice in your head and just keep moving forward.

Okay, it's been great to have you here on Loral's Real Money Talks. And the rest of you, I want you to immediately go to astro.com ask any question, make a request. And make sure you get her gifts@astro.com forward slash five star with the with the number five, so five star and get her information. And we're gonna stay on a little bit afterwards. And I'm going to be the financial expert on those take control shows. So we're gonna put those on my calendar as well. I just invited myself. Katie knows me well enough to know, I know, do that. And I look forward to supporting all of you, especially women, if you're a man out there listening, then send this to the women that you know and love in your life and just for this podcast on and let's get more and more people engaging in a great change and great gratitude. Hey, thanks for being on today.

Thank you for having me.

Thank you and the rest of you. We'll be back next week with more conversations and more lessons.