#203 – Parenting with Purpose: Nurturing Growth and Overcoming Challenges with Jaclyn Strominger

Welcome to the Money boss podcast. I am your host Anna Sergunina. In today's episode, we have the pleasure of speaking with Jaclyn Strominger a dedicated mentor and coach who has spent over three decades helping people find their path and pursue their passions. With a background in magazine publishing Jaclyn recognize the lack of clarity many individuals face when starting their careers. This realization ignited her desire to become a mentor, guiding people toward a fulfilling life and a career. In 2013, she took a leap into entrepreneurship, expanding her reach, and empowering women and men to create the life they desire. In this episode, we dive into Jacqueline's inspiring journey, her strategies for guiding individuals when they get stuck, and the importance of setting an example for your children, as you do the work on yourself. Whether you are parents looking to find purpose, overcome self doubt, and create a better version of yourself. This conversation is filled with valuable insights and practical tips. Get ready to be inspired as we explore the transformative power of mentoring with Jaclyn Strominger. Hey, money bosses, I'm excited to connect today. I want to welcome my guest, Jaclyn.

Hi, Anna, thank you for having me.

So excited. And so we're talking today? How can we empower our listeners to really think through and consider in the midst of raising families ideas around? What can they do better in terms of finding their purpose? Like, this is always a big topic for me? What what do you do when self doubt creeps in? And how do we set a good example for kids? As we're doing this work on ourselves? I know it's loaded. But you're an expert. And I'm excited to, to kind of open up and so I mean, let's just take a step back and start like, you know, what's the first step? Like? How do How does, you know someone think about balancing all of these things. Because there's, you know, there's not a manual for everything that you can kind of get in one package. And so you have to, like do the work as you go. But it gets tough at times. So like, first step, what do we do?

So, this is, I think this is one of the it's almost like the age old question, like creating the balance in your life, you know, particularly when you have kids. And I think one of the first things that we need to do is we always need to take a look at ourselves internally. So I, one thing that I do with my business called loop to your success, we actually start taking a look at people's vision, and really looking at what they want for themselves and what they dream of for their family. And really kind of writing all of those things down, I'd have some exercises that I actually have people work on, but really taking a look at, like, really, I hate to say the word getting still, but really getting still in thinking about what they want, creating that vision, and then looking at their core values that they that they have, because our core values are going to be the driver, which is good, which of the things that really will make us happy and fill our cup, and that our kids will also see as things that are making us whole. And when one of the things that I think that's is when we have younger kids, and making those decisions, you know, whether you're working or you're stay at home, you those values that you really cherish need to be something that comes out and what you do and how you do things with with your kids and what you do as a as a role model. Right. So that's one of the things that I really start working with, with people on when they're really feeling that imbalance is taking a look at their vision and really looking at those core values and seeing if they're colliding, matching or just kind of like all over the place like where they are.

Yeah, I love that I love I love the vision. I mean, obviously is as a business owner that's like in coaching. So that's the first thing you do, like what's the vision for the company but I I have heard this actually a few days ago, I was listening to a podcast. And the speaker was talking about she's she's a health coach. She's not a health coach. She's a doctor but more like holistic doctor. So she proposed the same idea like why can't you have a vision for your house and I was like, Oh my God, I've never really thought about that right? Like, yes, you want to feel healthy, like you want to do all the right things but like a vision is something is Something more, it's not just like some of these normal things you're supposed to do, like exercise, eat healthy and take your vitamins. And so, because I always kind of, you know, attain that to, you know, like a business, right decisions you have to make, but the same goes for what you're going to do outside. And so like this path of what career you want to pursue, and you know, other different seasons in your career, because maybe you're raising a family, right, and you're choosing to do something different. I think and probably speaking, you know, from a personal experience, but, but we get stuck at times, right? And so like, you know, even though when you think about your life, like, maybe things are working properly, you know, as you envisions and, and you have ideas, what you want to do. So like, why do people get stuck in in, can't move forward.

So that's a lot, there's a lot of different parts to that. So people get stuck. And moving forward, it's so the couple things that that I always like to share about this area. So when we get stuck a lot of times, I believe, and from what I've seen is that we are straying from our vision, or we stop looking at our vision, and what are what we want, and don't like to say this, but it's like your goals, too. So one of the things that I like to share with people is a couple things that that can help make, because your family is like a little business, right? Your family is the business in a sentence, right? And how you, you know, what you want for your family, in terms of how much time you want to spend vacations, where do you want to go? What do you want to do with your, on the weekends, all of those things sometimes puts us if we're, if we are not planning or don't have a vision, then we sort of get stuck. And we kind of let life life drive it versus us drive it. So we want to be the driver both for the way that our family is yes, for our business, too. And so one of the biggest things, when people start to get stuck, is I like to have them come back to what their vision is, and really start to look at it, redefine it, it's one of those things, it's not like set it and let it go. It's set it and look at it. And so one of the things that I usually recommend for families to do even at a very, like for couples to do this, right, when they get married, and throughout their life, is to really do some kind of weekly, monthly and yearly planning, sit down? And what do you want, like, kind of look back at what your vision is talk about what you want for your you as a family, you know, how much do you want to, you know, obviously, what the family has to work together, right? But, you know, sitting down for that, that at the end of the year and looking at what we want, and then kind of writing that out and having that someplace so that you can also look at it at the month. And then every single week, you know, we want to just kind of keep keep looking at that because it's also going to help you plan and helps you plan to have a more balanced life. So, you know, you know, when's your date night when you hanging out? What are you doing with the kids? What are the kids activities? Who is taking, you know, if you've got one child, you know, who's taking child number one to activity, if you've got to talk to children? Where are they going to activities? Who's who's doing what? And when do you find time to be together? And when you have find time, when do you also have time for you individually. And so, I think people get stuck because they start losing, they stop losing sight of their vision and what their what they want as their family. And we get unstuck by really looking at that and starting to plan

Would you say that this vision and I love this a lot. Before I before I ask the next question, I want to share something so one of the things my husband and I've done and we're just about to have our 18th wedding anniversary early in June. Thank you I'm excited. So we have this tradition that like a couple days before New Year's like you know, end of December we we have this big planning family meeting and so, um you know, each of us individually we sit down you know, we'll look at our goals like what you know, what we want to accomplish personally in the professional or in our businesses and then we obviously have a fun, fun date night. But this is like you know, kind of like a check in check in place. And so we've been doing this for many, many many years and it helps us kind of set the stage for like, as you said, what's what's the year going to look like and how is it going to be different what and also looking back like what what did you Have each of us do that, what worked, what didn't work. And so it kind of like it for us, I feel like it worked because we both have businesses. And it's sort of like this business aspect sort of transition, because you do this in a business, you do the planning for the year. But then like, we incorporate the personal, right, and then in the family as we as we started to grow our own family. So I find that, you know, really energizing at the beginning of the year. And then one of the things that I do advocate for my clients and listeners is to, when you look at your finances, to also have what I call money dates, now, like finances and money is also interconnected with everything we do. So like, if you have this bigger vision and ideas of what you're trying to pursue, then you can incorporate consistent check ins, right and see, like, how is this aligned with what the what I'm pursuing individually, right? As a business if you have one, or as a family unit? So I, you were like, speaking, speaking the truth here, like, oh, my gosh, we actually really do that.

You know, I think it's actually and I think one of the things that you just said, it's also really important, we look at it at the beginning of the year, but I think it also needs to be just like you do in your business. And, and we do need to have fun with this, right? It's not just Okay, let's sit down and have a meeting, right. But like, have fun with it, you know, I have some people, you know, have if they're, if their kids are old enough to all come up with, you know, make a big family vision board and all kinds of fun things. But, you know, January, you know, January 1, you have that planning, but then don't forget July 1, like, let's take a look and see, where are we? Where are we in this whole whole aspect? You know, what do we need to change? Is there something that we need to pivot, because life does happen, and we need to be able to obviously have some kind of flexibility to be able to move things around, and understand that, you know, something might set us back, and something might move us forward, but it's not something that's going to stop it. And so those are all things that we need to be able to work through the roller coasters, both, you know of our life, because, as I like to say, like I want to help people be around for you know, lead to your success through every age and stage, because every age and stage in your life and your family, and what we're doing is a little bit different, you know, new kid, you know, when you've got little ones, you know, then you're, as they get older, then you got teenage years, and then out of the house, like all of those things. It's not just one stage, it's not just the kid stage, those are, those are lots of different stages with lots of different, you know, roller coaster aspects.

And same, you know, same can be seen as you plan your finances, but there's different stages as to what you're trying to pursue, right, and, you know, hopefully achieve that independence or retirement, or whatever built the business that you want or career. So like, how do you there's like the big family vision, right, that two people can come together and create. But you know, each of us are individuals, you know, may not be on the same page. We may be in different career, you know, phases, like, how do you connect the two, we may have challenges for their careers or businesses, right? So it's like, it's like they're separate, yet they're together? Like what how do you navigate all of it? What happens if we're not on the same page? Like, because we have to ultimately come home, and like, support this unit, right? This family that we create it, like, what happens if we just lose pieces of the puzzle if I can, like visualize it.

So if you're talking about from the couple's standpoint, as the family if you start losing, I think that's one of the things that you really just have to start looking at, and having those discussions as to where is that divergent, and then I then it's coming back to if you're, if you're leaving your house, and you're walking out the door to your career or your job, or however you want to define it, and you're coming home and you're not feeling your cup is being fulfilled when you're leaving the house, then then that's where we need to take a look at that happiness. And maybe it's time to pivot outside. Because there is the habit and we spent so much time working right. And so we really want to make sure that we're turning some we have a passion that we're doing, and that can be turned into some form of a profit and I love I do events, I do have an assessment. It's called Turn your passion into profit. It's a three minute assessment. Anybody can go to my website and take it. But that is something where I think both parties if people are coming home and they're not getting fulfilled out side, you know, in their job, then we really need to take a look and see, okay, well, what what do we need to do to pivot, and maybe make some type of a change? And sometimes that can be scary? Actually, a lot of times, that's good, that's very scary people, you know, change is a scary thing, right? So, I always I love that, you know, the word, you know, change is a challenge, you can't have a challenge without change, they kind of go together. So that's when, if you need to sit down with your partner, and really look and say, Okay, well, do I need to reevaluate what I'm doing outside. And obviously speak to a financial person, maybe it's a time for you to switch professions, maybe it's us, maybe you move to just being at home, or maybe you go from being at home to working outside of the home. But those are things that we really just need to look at. Because ultimately, we have one life, and we need to be happy. And happiness does, it does come from within, but also we need to feel good about what we're doing on a day to day basis. And we also know that when we're not necessarily happy, it just it comes out in a lot of different ways. You know, and I always just think of like, When Harry Met Sally, like, you always want to have that, that, you know, that's that feeling of like, I'll have what she's having. Because she's like, feels really good and fulfilled. Okay.

Right, no, you're right. And I think it's a great reminder that this, whatever it is, that we are looking for, and working toward comes from within, right, so it's like, it's it's constant work on bettering yourself and creating, you know, a better version. But, but, but I really like how you broke it down that there's like this, you know, each of us are individuals, right, and we need to work on what it is that fills our cup. Because only then, when we come home, things start to come together now, to pivot a little bit, but yet on this topic, like we come home, and we have kids, right, that are watching, and they, you know, what kids are watching, the kids are watching. And so I know, we've chatted a little bit before recording about, you know, some of the things that you can implement, because I mean, my idea, you know, to be an example, you know, the best example I can be for my son, I'm sure this is the goal for for all the parents. So what, you know, what have you seen that works, your kids are older, so it's like, I'm looking up to you, as I do the work on myself, right, and my son kind of, you know, observes and soaks in and hopefully takes that for granted.

Right? So I think we were talking about this, and I'll share the example that I was sharing with you, I think it's really important for us to model the behavior that we that we want, both to see in ourselves and for other people to see, and how we put ourselves out and how we handle situations. So, you know, when my, my kids have always seen that I am I like to connect people, I like to network people, I, I am one of those people that yes, I might scream out the phone when I can't connect, you know, because I want an operator. But once I get to the person, I am kind of nice, because I don't know, the day that they're having either. So that's something that we just we really want to be cognizant of how we are how we're showing up for our, to others. And so I gave the example, you know, I have a 15 year old and a 17 year old, and my kids have always seen me talk to other people and I talk to people in random places I don't I really believe that we, you know, yes, people can be strangers, and we will have to look for different signs of when or when not to talk to somebody. But my, one of the things that my people have always said about my kids is that they can talk to adults, they can have conversations, they know how to interact with others, they're not stuck, you know, you can see me like, you know, on their phones, just in fact tables like, you know, we're not walking to the grocery store with my kids on their phone. I don't that's just not what we do. So I gave the example I was sharing with you and I just it was such a proud mom moment where I will talk to people in anywhere. I'm standing in line at the grocery store. I'm standing in line, you know, checking me out I'll talk to personnel make a conversation with somebody I'm sitting in an airplane. So we were at the deli counter at a store locally and it was really funny all of a sudden you know sitting there waiting and there was a lady that came up with a you know with her shopping cart, and my daughter just looked at her and started struck up a conversation so you haven't a good day. Today, and, and I just was like, Oh, I'm up, I'm like, it was a proud mom moment, because she's interacting with somebody in an in a very positive way. And both of my kids will do that. And so we, we really have to think about modeling the behavior that we want both our kids to see and have others to see on our kids. And I know yes, they're, you know, don't worry, yes, there are going to be times when, you know, they'll see us get angry, and they'll see us get upset, but it's also how we deal with those things. So it is being a role model. But also not to be hard on ourselves, if we do have a day where we get angry, and it's not how we would normally act. Because it's the it's the consistency of how they see us, that will really show up, and how and what they really remember.

Like that. So just curious, because what you know, what you instilled in your kids is a very valuable skill. And if it comes to them, so naturally, it's awesome. You know, because it's, it's, it's, you know, it's scary at times to strike a conversation with anyone, like you never know where you're like, I think most would love right to if somebody starts a conversation with them. So like, what do you say, you standing in line, say, What do you say? Do you give somebody a compliment? Or it really depends on the situation? What's your go to?

You know, I don't, I don't have like a one liner. You don't I mean, it's not like I'm a pickup a pickup line. But use, it might be a compliment. Or I might look at what somebody let's say we're standing in line at the grocery store, and I might look at what their what they have in their carton, and I might just sit around and be like, okay, so when's the party? And what time is it? And, you know, just kind of kidding around or, you know, when, you know, if I'm at the deli counter, and somebody's ordering something, and I might say, Oh, I've never tried that before, you know, Is it salty? Is it you know, what do you like about that? So, you know, it's almost just kind of like seeing what somebody's doing. And I just, I have a tendency. And this is, this is something that is a little bit more learned. Because I was a little bit more shy when I was a lot younger, is that I learned to ask people some kind of a question. Hmm, I like that.

Okay. Yeah, thank you for clarifying. Because this is I think this is important, right? Because it's a learned, it's a skill that you can learn. It's not because like, oh, my gosh, you have such ongoing personality, which you do, but it's, it's still the work that you did, yes,

It is learned, and I will tell you, so this was something that was really difficult for me. So growing up, I was, I was in an incredibly insecure human, like, really insecure. And so one of the things that was important for me is to help instill some kind of confidence in my kids based on, you know, whether it's having conversations with the people, having them feel good, not focusing on just, you know, being a certain size and shape, whatever, but just being a good person and being able to talk to other people. And but when I was a kid growing up, I mean, I was, there was times I was just really afraid to talk to people. So over time, you know, I learned to ask questions, I would, you know, it was kind of like a challenge. I kept thinking, Okay, well, can I talk to that person? Because I needed to learn to, that helped me gain confidence in myself and in speaking with others. And so you don't they don't know you from Adam. Right? So, yeah, so who cares, right? So you have to you kind of like, Teach Yourself, the who cares. I'm just being nice and kind. And at the end of the day, people love when somebody is nice and kind. It's nice when you pay somebody a compliment. It's nice when you strike up conversation, because so many of us just live in these little bubbles. And so if you can make somebody's day a little bit brighter, it really goes a long way. I kind of kicked around and I say to people now it's like, just think about how you can if at the end of the day when you when you go to sleep at night, you know, maybe you keep a gratitude journal, but but if you can, can you think to yourself, you know, if I were to rate myself on Yelp today, how would I rate myself as on Yelp, what I give myself one star, or five stars?

Hmmm, I love that. I love that I have I do keep a gratitude journal. And I have, like at the bottom page, it's sort of like kind of asks to give a score, but it's more from the standpoint like have I won my day or is this a day that's like a loser or the data loss based on you know, some of the things that I'm pursuing or like goals, but I love that the Yelp analogy a lot. I bet that this is just my kind of like hearing your explain this, but I bet all of these things would definitely help you internally build confidence over time. Like these small right gestures. Okay? You know, if you consistently and, like intentionally doing will, will build up your confidence, right? Because that's my assumption, but at least

It does, it really does help build up your confidence. And when you can give yourself those little wins, it's a little win, right? And so then you start to slowly feel better about yourself. And, again, it's, it's the compound effect on your life too. So when you're starting to feel better about yourself, and you're feeling confident, you know, whether you're, you know, if you're single, it's, it's going to show it's going to show in your marriage, it's going to show if you're married, or you have a partner, it just starts to show up, because you just have a different effect on you, when you have when you're when you're building that confidence. And when you're feeling better about yourself.

Yeah, it definitely translates I can see that. Yeah, so um, I'd love for you to share how and where our listeners can connect with you. And I know that you mentioned, there's a short quiz or short survey they can do to kind of get started.

Yep. So. So I would love people to reach out and connect with me, I love helping people make changes. And so I have, you can go to my website, which is leaptoyoursuccess.com. And I do have a three minute Turn your passion into profit assessment. So fill it out, and you grab a 30 day free 30 minute just call with me. Or you can just go to leato your success and fill out the contact form. Or you can also just find me on Instagram at my name, which is jaclyn.strominger.com or on Facebook at the same way Jaclyn Strominger, I'm also on LinkedIn, you just just search Jaclyn Strominger.

Sounds good. And I'll make sure we have this in our show notes. For this recording. It's been it's been very, very enlightening conversation. And I'm always looking for for ways to grow personally, professionally. And also like, the older my child becomes, the more I'm like, Okay, I like I want to do this right. And so, you know, yeah, realizing that, like, I have all the power to set, the best example is like, yes, and so I'm gonna really work hard. And I'm not trying to start a conversation by any means. But like, sometimes they come standing in the line to get a cup of coffee, even like today I went and like the guy, you know, the barista was like, like me and my coffee really fast. I'm like, Oh, I wasn't gonna just check my emails. Right. So when they like, turn around and see like, is anybody I can talk to? More agents, actually,

It's really nice to make those connections. And I think it's actually one of the things that I think that when I, you know, when I talk to people about, you know, picking up on somebody's business, if they're, if they're working from home, it's something that also can, can turn and spill over into their business. Because if you're, whether you're in a sales role, or if you're in network marketing, or whatever your role is, I always say you're better off, you know, it's nice to get out of your car, and go and talk to the person at the bank or the barista, or talk to the person because you're, you know, you're you never know how you can have an impact on somebody else's day, just by showing up and being a little, you know, sharing your kindness and having a conversation with somebody because, again, we just, we all live in these little worlds. And so just showing a little showing up for other people. really goes a long way.

Yes, I can't agree more. Well, thank you so much, Jaclyn. It's been it's been a pleasure talking to you. It's

So great to be talking with you to Anna and I really appreciate being a guest and thank you for having me on.