#137: How To Have Uncomfortable Conversations About Money, Sex, and Relationships with Dr. Joli Hamilton
How can we have uncomfortable conversations about money, sex, and relationships?
Dr. Joli Hamilton and I chat about the lack of education that we are provided when it comes to both money and sex. Dr. Joli explains that we often feel like we should already know a lot about sex and money but yet most of us are offered no education on either thing. She explains the importance of deciding that it is okay to have these conversations anywhere and everywhere and there is nothing to be ashamed about when talking about finances or sex.
Dr. Joli shares how hard self-awareness is but how crucial it is to have these uncomfortable conversations. She explains how we should be at a place of center with ourselves and allow ourselves to think and work through feelings. Dr. Joli reminds us to set up for success by designing the conversation. Be really clear on your expectations and what you want from the conversation.
Dr. Joli shares a technique she learned form a teacher of hers about taking 5 good breaths before she starts having a conversation. This allows you to soothe yourself enough so that you don’t enter a conversation with fear.
We chat about the difference in responding and reacting. Dr. Joli explains that one of the ways to figure out if you are responding or reacting is to check your body language and sometimes we have to slow the pace of the conversation down so that we have a chance to respond rather than react. Plan ahead for these conversations and make sure that your partner understands that a conversation is about to happen.
Dr. Joli explains how we can set ourselves up for success by checking in with HALT, an acronym to check and see if we (or our loved ones) are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. If any of these things are going on, we want to take a step back and address that situation first prior to having a conversation. After we have addressed HALT, we can then explain that we have a conversation that we want to chat about and provide the expectations of that conversation to our partners.
Dr. Joli suggests planning out these conversations ahead of time. Put them on the calendar!
Be sure to tune in to hear all of the value that today’s episode provides!
IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVER:
- The fact that there is a lack of sex education and money education
- Self-awareness
- 5 good breaths technique
- Reacting versus responding
- HALT method
- Planning ahead for these conversations
LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
MORE ABOUT DR. JOLI:
Dr. Joli Hamilton is a research psychologist, best-selling author, TEDx speaker, and AASECT certified sex educator. Over the past two decades, Dr. Joli started more than 10 businesses ranging from clothing design, personal training, and doula services while managing her own personal relationships, pursuing her graduate degrees, and raising 7 kids!
WHERE TO CONNECT WITH DR. JOLI:
EPISODE SPONSORS:
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