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In this episode of Mindful You, Alan chats with Robyn McTague. Robyn is a life and relationship coach and consultant who uses enneagram work as a psychospiritual system. We learn the significance of shielding and the different ways we can approach choices. McTague speaks about the shifting of your attention from the thoughts in your body. We must value ourselves enough to let go of our mistakes. What is the purpose of dream coaching? Find out on this week’s episode.
About The Guest:
Robyn McTague is the Creator of A Life of Choice coaching & Consulting. Helping individuals, couples and teams navigate the complexities of their personal and professional relationships, through a unique blend of proven strategies including science and metaphysical systems.
Empowering clients to uncover the drivers behind their behavior, address conflicts head-on, and cultivate thriving relationships with themselves and others.
Find Robyn Here:
About Alan:
Alan Carroll is an Educational Psychologist who specializes in Transpersonal Psychology. He founded Alan Carroll & Associates 30 years ago and before that, he was a Senior Sales Training Consultant for 10 years at Digital Equipment Corporation. He has dedicated his life in search of mindfulness tools that can be used by everyone (young and old) to transform their ability to speak at a professional level, as well as, to reduce the psychological suffering caused by the misidentification with our ego and reconnect to the vast transcendent dimension of consciousness that lies just on the other side of the thoughts we think and in between the words we speak.
Personal: https://www.facebook.com/alan.carroll.7359
Business: https://www.facebook.com/AlanCarrolltrains
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/aca-mindful-you/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulnesseminar/
Web Site: https://acamindfulyou.com/
Welcome back, everybody,
Alan Carroll:to your next episode of the mindful U
Alan Carroll:podcast. My name is Alan Carroll, I am your host, and
Alan Carroll:today's guest. Today's guest is Robin. And Robin has an
Alan Carroll:interesting story. And as most mindfulness, people seem to
Alan Carroll:start from suffering, things didn't go well in their
Alan Carroll:childhood, and they had a lot of ups and downs emotionally and
Alan Carroll:mentally, which makes them feel that is there something else is
Alan Carroll:there some way of reducing the suffering, it's just some way of
Alan Carroll:experiencing more presence and joyfulness in my circumstances
Alan Carroll:and activities, are there ways for me to be happier, mentally,
Alan Carroll:physically and emotionally. And so that motivated Robin, to
Alan Carroll:start her journey. And she describes one of the programs
Alan Carroll:that she really got excited about. And she started to teach
Alan Carroll:it. And it's a way of protecting yourself psychologically from
Alan Carroll:all those influences outside yourself those blocks and those
Alan Carroll:barriers. And she calls it a shielding a shielding system. So
Alan Carroll:I'm excited to introduce you to Robin, and please welcome her to
Alan Carroll:the mindful you podcast. Thank you very much.
Alan Carroll:Robin, welcome to the mindful you podcast. Thank you, I'm
Alan Carroll:excited to have the opportunity to speak with you. And for my
Alan Carroll:audience, who I'd like you to introduce yourself to the
Alan Carroll:audience, a little bit of your background, a little bit of how
Alan Carroll:you were how you got on the mindfulness path, the
Alan Carroll:mindfulness journey, the the transformation of consciousness,
Alan Carroll:and then we'll move in, and maybe some of the things that
Alan Carroll:you're doing now in order to develop those those muscles, for
Alan Carroll:yourself and for and for the world. So we'll start with just
Alan Carroll:a little bit of your background, Robin.
Robyn McTague:Sure. Well, I came from one of those families
Robyn McTague:that was dysfunctional with capital D. She was, yeah, she
Robyn McTague:was suicidal, I first time, I remember I was four years old.
Robyn McTague:And when she tried to kill herself, and my dad was an
Robyn McTague:alcoholic, rageaholic abuser. And my way of dealing with it
Robyn McTague:was to stay really quiet. I, you know, delved into books. My mom
Robyn McTague:and I left when I was six, and we lived with other families. So
Robyn McTague:I had exposure to lots of different settings of different
Robyn McTague:people. And I was always curious, why did people do what
Robyn McTague:they do? Like, and why are some people aware and other people
Robyn McTague:aren't. And I remember having conversations with myself at a
Robyn McTague:really young age around these things. So, you know, I went
Robyn McTague:into psychology and counseling, I trained in conflict
Robyn McTague:resolution. And then I had cancer breast cancer 23 years
Robyn McTague:ago, this year. And that really opened up the can of worms of
Robyn McTague:emotions, because that's the part I hadn't dealt with. I knew
Robyn McTague:all these things intellectually. But I hadn't done that deeper
Robyn McTague:work that I'd really pushed down to be able to function in the
Robyn McTague:world. And so I spent six months on my sofa. And I just went deep
Robyn McTague:into that feeling of, you know, being and that was really tough
Robyn McTague:places where I wasn't allowed to be myself. I wasn't allowed to
Robyn McTague:be curious. I wasn't allowed to do anything that I really
Robyn McTague:wanted. You know, financially, I loved music. And I was so
Robyn McTague:jealous of the other kids that learn to play piano or different
Robyn McTague:things. And so, I really felt that I didn't get to be who I
Robyn McTague:was. And so then with that cancer journey, I came out of
Robyn McTague:those six months, I was coming back into the workplace. I
Robyn McTague:worked in a large organization, over 1000 people, a lot of
Robyn McTague:stressed out people we worked with people who are injured on
Robyn McTague:the job. And I thought how can I be around all the stressed out
Robyn McTague:people and I met a one woman at a wine cheese and tarot card
Robyn McTague:reading party and she said I took a class where you get
Robyn McTague:shields so you're not taking on other people's energy. And when
Robyn McTague:I know something I noticed Something so I jumped in the
Robyn McTague:next week. And I felt better in the first week, the course is
Robyn McTague:four weeks, you get two energy shields, you get a grounding and
Robyn McTague:a shielding system. And so I became a teacher of this. So now
Robyn McTague:I teach adults and children the system. And I continue to grow
Robyn McTague:in the energy system. And it's quite a unique system. So from
Robyn McTague:there, I started to learn what was mine, and what was someone
Robyn McTague:else's, as far as feelings and all of those different things.
Robyn McTague:So I really started to get more in alignment, and connected to
Robyn McTague:who I was, instead of always having to be the chameleon to
Robyn McTague:fit in and feel safe. And through that, I started to get
Robyn McTague:more independent, I got more tired of the bureaucracy, and
Robyn McTague:then finally was able to leave early due to the number of years
Robyn McTague:of service. And then I learned about the motivational map,
Robyn McTague:which I love and the clarity that brought, I saw where those
Robyn McTague:internal conflicts were. And it's partly based on the
Robyn McTague:Enneagram. So I've been doing the really deep dive with the
Robyn McTague:Enneagram work, which is a psycho spiritual system that
Robyn McTague:helped me to really bring the spiritual and that humanity, the
Robyn McTague:practical together to see that lens of the world, why I did
Robyn McTague:things and to build more kindness and compassion for
Robyn McTague:myself and other people. So that's kind of where I am today,
Robyn McTague:where I'm working with the Enneagram, the motivational map,
Robyn McTague:the meditation and healing system, I do some numerology as
Robyn McTague:well. So it's interesting, all these number things that come
Robyn McTague:into play, because there's so many universal laws, right. And
Robyn McTague:this is something in the Enneagram we talk a lot about
Robyn McTague:triads. And this number nine, that comes up, we have it with
Robyn McTague:several of the systems I use, but it's universal law. And so
Robyn McTague:all of these systems connect in certain ways. And I find that
Robyn McTague:fascinating.
Alan Carroll:Right, you could say that there's, everything is
Alan Carroll:connected. With there's only one being one love one energy,
Alan Carroll:though the perception is there's a you and me. And as you talk
Alan Carroll:about the different techniques you're using, it sounds like you
Alan Carroll:are discovering something, I'll call it beyond the ego, that
Alan Carroll:there's a space of beingness that everybody shares a
Alan Carroll:universal sense of beingness. And it's available to everybody.
Alan Carroll:And matter of fact, it's already there. And all you got to do is
Alan Carroll:get on your sofa for six months, and allow yourself to just get
Alan Carroll:get lost. Dissolve the thoughts dissolve the thoughts. I you
Alan Carroll:talked about shielding, you said it a few times. And it's I like
Alan Carroll:that where I'm not sure what it means. But I like the idea of
Alan Carroll:being able to protect yourself. And I the Word Shield means to
Alan Carroll:me, you're protecting yourself. I'd like you just to talk a
Alan Carroll:little bit about it because it has significance in your world.
Alan Carroll:And it might have significance in the listeners world. Awesome.
Unknown:Yeah, so the system that I teach, we actually as
Unknown:teachers shift your vibration over the four weeks. And so when
Unknown:we can shift that vibrational consciousness, we learned to
Unknown:bring in the universal energy, we learned to bring up that
Unknown:grounding energy. And so with that shield, then bring in a
Unknown:shield of love. And so then we have an energetic boundary. So
Unknown:then we can learn what's going on with me separate from other
Unknown:people, because we're all energetic sponges. You know, I
Unknown:get a little bit annoyed with all this empathetic stuff. I'm
Unknown:an empath. Well, we all are to a certain degree. It's whether we
Unknown:accept or I have that awareness about it. So we all have this
Unknown:ability to say, wow, yeah, I'm really noticing that maybe I
Unknown:going to a party or somewhere I feel great. Before I go, I get
Unknown:there and all of a sudden, within 15 minutes, I'm not
Unknown:feeling so good. But I think that's me. And as maybe someone
Unknown:else I'm picking up. So the energy shield which is light and
Unknown:love is a way to allow love in and keep the negativity out. And
Unknown:even with the kids course, I draw a bubble. And then I have
Unknown:the hearts coming through and then I have the arrows bouncing
Unknown:off that little bubble that I showed them that they can Hang
Unknown:up. So even with the kids, we do gentler increase in their
Unknown:vibration. And it gives them this sense of I actually have
Unknown:choice. And we've since seen kids stand up to bullies. And it
Unknown:also brings in a better communication tool between the
Unknown:parent and the child. So one of the parents has to come and they
Unknown:learn the system. So, and it's the same with the adults is just
Unknown:kind of a mini version. But it's ways to be able to build that
Unknown:communication with ourselves, and then with others. So it's
Unknown:like when I feel safe and energized, and not feeling
Unknown:drained by other people, then I have so much more success in my
Unknown:life, and that ability to know what's important to me.
Alan Carroll:You mentioned, Robin, the word choice. And I
Alan Carroll:find that most people don't have a choice. That choice involves
Alan Carroll:observation. And most people can't, can observe because they
Alan Carroll:can't let go of something which blocking, which is blocking them
Alan Carroll:from, from responding. And so if you can't respond, then then you
Alan Carroll:react to what's going on. And so when you talk about choice, to
Alan Carroll:me, that's very, that's a very important level of awareness
Alan Carroll:that most people don't have a choice, this is the way it is,
Alan Carroll:you know, there's that immediate reaction to it. And is that what
Alan Carroll:you're talking about when I'm talking about choice?
Unknown:Yeah, it's learning the different ways. And so that
Unknown:awareness, like you say, it's like, it can start very small,
Unknown:just having, you know, some cliche things, they come from a
Unknown:truthful place, like just having a breath. So when I trained to
Unknown:conflict resolution, and we talked about anger, so many
Unknown:people don't realize that they have choice before that
Unknown:reaction, if they just take that moment, to start to notice
Unknown:what's going on in their body. And so we learned to see our way
Unknown:of having that come up, like I'm a real stomach person, for
Unknown:example. So I'll feel that tension in the stomach rising,
Unknown:and it's like, Oh, I feel that coming up. So can I let that
Unknown:feeling come up and just wash through because one of the
Unknown:things that I find people are afraid of, yes, if we go into
Unknown:this emotional stew, or mix, I'm never gonna get out the other
Unknown:side. And that was one of my fears. And I'm through so I can
Unknown:attest, we can get through it. And if we allow the emotion to
Unknown:come up, it usually lasts about 60 to 90 seconds. And so when we
Unknown:can let that wash over, and have that breath, it's like, oh, I
Unknown:can see I have choice when we're in stress. Breath is the only
Unknown:thing we have any choice over. And so that's the biggest thing
Unknown:is like, wow, now I can actually take a moment to say maybe I
Unknown:need to get out of this situation, maybe I need to ask
Unknown:for a timeout. If I'm in the workplace or something, maybe I
Unknown:just need to go to the washroom and take a moment to settle
Unknown:myself before I come back and not overreact, and maybe put my
Unknown:job on the line. You know, we see this right people getting
Unknown:angry, and it's like, I'm not taking this anymore. They're
Unknown:gone. And then they're in survival mode. And what can we
Unknown:learn? What can we do in survival mode, we can because
Unknown:then the old part of the brain kicks in. And we don't have that
Unknown:choice. So it's about learning what are my ways of noticing
Unknown:that. And with the Enneagram system, we have a centering
Unknown:practice. So I do that along with my meditation. So it's like
Unknown:two minutes breathing into the belly center, two minutes into
Unknown:the heart center, two minutes into the head center, and then a
Unknown:minute, noticing that connection to all three. So when we can
Unknown:center in all of our three centers, because we all have one
Unknown:that we prefer, we can start to bring that in, and that not just
Unknown:come from that one place. Ooh, it's
Alan Carroll:nice. It's nice. I like the idea of taking your
Alan Carroll:attention and shifting it off of the thoughts the monkey mind
Alan Carroll:that's going on inside your head and say okay, right now in this
Alan Carroll:moment, I'm going to take two minutes and I'm going to focus
Alan Carroll:on my my solar plexus like as I call it, my stomach area. Do
Alan Carroll:interest, and then my heart, you said, my stomach, the heart,
Alan Carroll:the, the head, and then and then how all three are connected,
Unknown:free. Yeah, just noticing how they support each
Unknown:other and noticing our preference. So often we have two
Unknown:that we go between. So I might go ahead emotion, and I leave
Unknown:out the body or you know, some other combination depending on
Unknown:our type structure. But there's, there's a pattern to all of
Unknown:this.
Alan Carroll:And by shifting your attention from the thoughts
Alan Carroll:into your body, in my experience, the body, the monkey
Alan Carroll:mind, or the energy or the anxiety begins to settle, calm,
Alan Carroll:less agitation, more clarity, no, everything seems to be. But
Alan Carroll:the challenge for me and for other people probably is you
Alan Carroll:have to be awake in order to observe what's going on in your
Alan Carroll:body and your emotions and your mind. And my observation is, the
Alan Carroll:ego is not awake, the ego is operating on automatic, it's it
Alan Carroll:doesn't it doesn't have that have that luxury of letting go
Alan Carroll:of my position, in order to relax my body, I will not let go
Alan Carroll:of my position Robin, because I'm right, and you're wrong and
Alan Carroll:you better. And so in the midst of the chaos, oh, I'm gonna
Alan Carroll:relax now because then I'd have to, then I have to give up
Alan Carroll:something that's real important to me. And I'm not willing to
Alan Carroll:give that up. I'm gonna hold on to that. And I, I think you're
Alan Carroll:talking about letting go of things and surrendering, and
Alan Carroll:I'll call it I'll use the word giving up or letting go, is that
Alan Carroll:true?
Unknown:Yes. And I'd like to be very practical and remind people
Unknown:that, you know, this is why we have to shower every day, we
Unknown:forget ourselves again and again and again. So allowing that
Unknown:shame to come up. And this is what stops us from creating
Unknown:these better patterns for ourselves, like people who want
Unknown:to do the centering practice every day or their meditation.
Unknown:It's like, it's okay, this is part of what we do as humans,
Unknown:but so often we make it wrong. It's like, well, I might as well
Unknown:give up because I forgot a day. You know, we see this with
Unknown:people and their eating plans and these healthier ways of
Unknown:being they give it all up. But it's like, this is normal.
Unknown:Let's, you know, forget it, and be okay with it. And allow these
Unknown:feelings that are uncomfortable. So yeah, I feel some shame, I
Unknown:promise to do something I didn't I promise that to myself. So am
Unknown:I going to value myself enough to say it's okay? And let that
Unknown:go that judgment of myself, right? We're our biggest
Unknown:harshest critics. And it's like when we can bring that kindness
Unknown:in and say, yeah, I forgot. And I can do it now. Or I can do it
Unknown:again in the morning or, you know, maybe today I have a
Unknown:schedule where I need to fit it in somewhere else. You know,
Unknown:most people can find seven minutes. With the meditation
Unknown:training, we ask for more upfront when we're first
Unknown:building those new neural pathways. But the good news is,
Unknown:right, neuroplasticity, we can learn at any age. And we need to
Unknown:bring in that kindness and compassion. And let's just do
Unknown:it. So I know. I see the results and other people. And this is
Unknown:often how we see people coming into the meditation course their
Unknown:friends take it, they notice that shift in them. And it's
Unknown:like, yeah, I want that to soar, we can allow ourselves to do the
Unknown:same old, same old, are we going to deal with the resistance?
Unknown:Because that's the biggest piece we deal with, with the
Unknown:meditation with people the resistance. And that's what
Unknown:you're saying the ego rate?
Alan Carroll:Right? The ego is, this shouldn't be whatever's
Alan Carroll:going on. In my reality. This should not be I'm not allowing
Alan Carroll:whatever's going on to be I'm judging it. And so that's I'm
Alan Carroll:very much involved in understanding the resistance
Alan Carroll:based on my own experience of resisting. Before we go, I just
Alan Carroll:have to ask you to talk a little bit about dream coaching.
Alan Carroll:Because I'm a psychologist, Guy and dreams are part of the game.
Alan Carroll:And so coaching on dreams is pretty cool. So can you just
Alan Carroll:talk a little bit about that before we before we complete?
Unknown:Yeah, I love dreams. I have been doing a dream journal
Unknown:my first year of college actually, even before I was I've
Unknown:always been interested in the esoteric and the weird stuff. I
Unknown:was Learning to astral travel when I was a teenager, and sure
Unknown:all these things. And with a psychology background and a lot
Unknown:of reading on young and universal,
Alan Carroll:my goals Young as young as my Yeah.
Unknown:And so in the meditation course, we have an
Unknown:act of style. And we give you tools for remembering your
Unknown:dreams and for dream interpretation, which is
Unknown:amazing. And it's all on the archetype. And then the dream
Unknown:coaching is what is that dream I want for myself. So it's a
Unknown:process we go through to look at the different aspects of
Unknown:bringing that dream in for ourselves. And because I've done
Unknown:a lot of work with dreams, I can help you with the the alive ones
Unknown:or the unconscious ones, and help you bring that out. So, you
Unknown:know, it's maybe just learning to dream again, for some people
Unknown:who have been stuck in this kind of pattern of just doing things
Unknown:for everyone else, like I was stuck in and learning that.
Unknown:Yeah, I'm important. I'm a value, and I'm going to bring
Unknown:that dream for myself alive again.
Alan Carroll:Wonderful. Robin, if people hear our conversation
Alan Carroll:today, and they say, Wow, Robin has lots of cool stuff. How do I
Alan Carroll:connect with Robin? What are some of the ways people can
Alan Carroll:reach out to you and connect with you?
Unknown:Sure. I'm on LinkedIn, Facebook, and the website
Unknown:because I'm in Canada is a life of choice.ca. When did there's a
Unknown:couple of chapters of books on there, and also have a
Unknown:meditation for relationships, I can give you the link to that
Unknown:you can add to the show notes if you'd like.
Alan Carroll:Perfect, perfect. Well, Rob, I want to thank you
Alan Carroll:very much for being on the mindful you podcast, and sharing
Alan Carroll:some of your wisdom and some of your experiences that you've
Alan Carroll:experienced on your personal journey and you're sharing your
Alan Carroll:personal journey was very, very nice. I want to thank you very
Alan Carroll:much. And on behalf of my guest and the audience, I want to
Alan Carroll:thank you for being on the mindful you podcast.
Unknown:Thank you so much.
