Grief is like a deep cut

When someone we love dies, grief is unavoidable, unpredictable, and possibly like having a deep cut that even when you tear the band aide off, it still weeps and is rather raw when touched.

NOTE: this podcast contains a meditation, so never listen this a meditation when you are operating a moving vehicle

So, how can we ease the healing journey, on those days when we are feeling down.

From where I stand, I believe self care is a perfect solution.

So, let’s take a moment to think of self care in a different way.

I would like you to imagine, because you probably already know that putting a “large yellow sticky” over your fuel gage would not be a great plan. It could lead to you to being stranded on a rainy day, out of gas and definitely not where you were intending to go today.

But we, as women as notorious for “running ourselves out of gas”!

So, I ask y’all to check that gage today <3.

Someone said to me the other day. We are meant to give the best of ourselves to the world, NOT THE REST OF OURSELVES

And I get it, because when I am a “giver” I love to give, but how much can we give when we feel depleted?

When I was feeling the initial deep sense of loss, I hunkered down. I could hardly breath let alone, think of much of anything.

So I engaged in small steps. Savouring long hot soaks in calming aroma scented water, that didn’t care if I added a few salty tears of my own.

Time gazing at the expansive ocean, watching clouds filter past my views and ocean breeze through my mind. Immersed daily in the musky scent of deep nettled carpeted forest trails. Tuning into restful and calm audio books with an overtone of birdsongs high overhead.

But it was the day of Willis’s celebration of Life, that I fully embraced the power of self care to create the experience I desired.

I had a deep need to speak without melting down into a puddle of tears. And I didn’t know if I was up to it. It was still so painful, yet I needed to make the effort. No regrets <3

So, I set aside time for myself before guests arrived, to set myself up for success. And that meant focussing on my outcome, for being able to speak clearly, feel confident, calm and in control.

I felt I could accomplish my desire by engaging in 30 minutes of self care.

That meant unapologetically leaving all the family to continue to do the final prep.

Lots was happening.

In a hot dry summer with months without rain, June 5 was torrential.

Tarps were being raised, location for electronics, mics, speaker were being moved, Table flipped up and all the cloths, glass wear, drinks, sandwiches all being manages by twenty or more beautiful souls. All as the heavens opened and deluged us all.

In the flurry of activity, I simply turned away, closed the door to my bathroom and started to pour a hot steamy bath. As the water fell, I began toy focus inward.

I always begin with breath.

So if you would like to join me now; find a comfortable place to sit and relax where you know you will not be disturbed for 10 minutes

And always remeber never listen to these recording when operating a moving vehicle

Begin by drawing your attention towards your breath.

Pushing hearing outward to whatever is pulling your attention outward. What is the farthest thing away you can hear?

Maybe it is people talking, the sound of a car, laughter, a TV in another room, a bird, a dog barking, the fridge turning on, someone else running water at the kitchen sink. Moving your attention inward like a balloon losing air and shrinking smaller, until what you hear is the sound of your breath.

Tuning in further, breath being pulled in through your nose.

Listen to your lungs expand

Wait for the beat of your heart and rush blood pumping outward into arteries, pulsing into capillary and eavesdropping on the oxygen fill cell in your body.

Next, visualize breath: Imagine the oxygen we breath to be filled with bright sparking light. You know the ones, the tiny twinkle lights of the holiday season.

Simply pause for a moment and close your eyes and Imagine billions of these sparks of beautiful light filling each oxygen molecule.

Watch the bright light oxygen under one’s nose, observe as it is slowly inhaled up your nostrils, and as it flows down the throat and clearly filling your lungs.

Notice as it brightens the inner chambers of your heart. Trace its path from the heart into arteries, bright white light marking out every artery, capillary and cell of your body.

Breath long slow breaths and your body becomes saturated with life giving oxygen.

Now feel what it feels like to breath.

Notice the temperature of the oxygen as it enters your nose, verses the temperature when you exhale over your tongue and through your lips.

Your any pressure as your throat allowing entrance naturally and easily.

Measure the expansive opening of your thoracic cavity, satisfying lungs, fueling the constant and consistent rhythm of your heart as it passes through arteries, capillaries and into every cell of your body.

Smell the air, taste it’s flavor or become aware of the taste inside your mouth.

And now focus on your desired outcome. What do you want and why is it important?

Think of focus as gathering and moving energy towards something you are creating.

Thinking of calm, means that we are pulling energy from all around us and possibly imagine creating a bubble of calm energy around you, that helps to maintain calm.

This is the time to create intention and repeat the sensory process of that intention. What does it look like, sounds like, feel like? When you can fully understand what it is, this is pure manifestation. So delve into sensations, see if you taste it, breath in the scent and this is powerful mind science.

Focussing your attention for 17 seconds, begins to change the chemicals and hormones that are flushing through your body right now! The are matching your energetic focus. So if this is stress, you now have the power to change that..

Through our simply little exercise of focussing on breath, I believe you may have experienced a deep relaxation and calm. Recognize if you are feeling energized.

We can fill our tank in many ways; when around people we enjoy, reading a great book, or when we simply take time to breath.

They say that energy fills the “space between the space”.

And Tesla, so long ago and it is now “science” said that there is enough energy in one cubic metre of air to boil all the oceans on the planet. Phenomenal!

You may have seen that picture of him, a lightning bolt appearing out of the air and connecting with some instrument he was inventing. Tesla recognized that energy was all around us and his global thinking was to capture and then make available “FREE” energy to all the world. Amazing!

So, I would like you to consider energy as a form of self care. And when we focus our energy towards providing ourselves with self care, we are filling our tank and relieving the stress and grief in our experience.

I wish you a wonderful day and please know that I am here for you. If you would like a 1:1, please connect here

https://live.vcita.com/site/pj6nd2nw1oky5ogs/online-scheduling?service=drkxsgl8va1u4yv9

yes@lifecoachadele.com

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