Turning Life’s Battles into Wins With Forbes Riley | MDIDS2E47

Welcome, welcome, welcome. This is Paul Finck, this is the Mavericks Do It Different podcast where we think different, be different, do different to create different results in everything we do, in our lives, in our family's lives, in our friends in our society, our community and the whole world to create a difference so that we can live in the space that we want to live in, and what all that looks like. And today, I've got a special guest with me to share with you and talk to you from her heart and soul. Just an amazing human being a award winning TV host author, motivational speaker, entrepreneur, world's leading health and wellness expert without a doubt, de product sales and her spin, Jim, and that's her bat some of her backstory. $2.5 billion in sales. National fitness Hall of Fame inductee, voted 20 most inspiring person on TV spokesperson broadcast journalist sucks. Yeah, we got it. We got it. She's amazing. She's here she is Forbes Riley, Dr. Forbes Riley, and she is here to speak. Forbes, thank you so much for being here. You know, it's so funny, because you read the credits. At some point, you're like, Who is this magnificent person I know.

Ask your team if I have the ability to share my screen, if you can. I would love to.

we

have some fun things to share. I've not seen you in a little while you look beautiful and handsome. And thank you for that great intro. And I love the concept of your podcast. But I love the whole Maverick thing since the day guys. I sat down into dinner with this man and felt like I met a brother from another mother

here here. Yes, indeed, we've, we've had some great fun and great experiences. And we definitely talked the same language. So tell us, you know, one of the things that I that I want to get started, you do have the ability to share only before we start getting into that I want to ask you, like, with with all that you've created and your success and and so often I watch people in with the same skill sets the same abilities, they create nothing. And I always asked, you know what makes you different?

Well, a lot makes me different. And I'll tell you what, and I realized I am different. Well, did you have friends growing up?

Of course I had friends. Well, I didn't, I had, but I will say it was always that two or three friends. That were the people that I knew since I was five, you know, a pass there. I didn't make any additional friends. Alright,

so I had no friends growing up. I had a very, very odd relationship with my parents and people. And one of the things I was gonna show you people don't realize is how I looked when I was younger. I was a very awkward, ugly little kid, I had braces on my teeth for eight years. And I had a tongue thruster in my mouth for two I recruited and felt like deaf and nobody could understand me. So I didn't that literally and I was really, really wickedly smart. And I spent a lot of time talking to the teachers and the high school principal, the elementary school principal, at really, I'm seven years old doing linguistics in his office, I just didn't fit in. And I didn't fit in so deeply. I didn't realize this was an issue. I was the oldest of my my my sister and I and my dad was a magician, and inventor and a crazy, he just had his dream concepts. And he would make things out of nothing. So Paul, get this. I know this is a crazy visual. But imagine your your house, your house, bathroom right over your bathroom sink, you had a medicine cabinet. Correct, was about that deep. Mine was four and a half feet deep and five feet high. And my dad put a lazy susan in this thing. Because our house was so small, I could crawl over the sink into the center of my medicine cabinet, close the door with a flashlight, read and be all by myself. And that's where I grew up. And nobody you know has ever grown up in their medicine cabinet.

It's sounds odd, right? And then when we weren't doing that we would do magic tricks and we would invent things. And I was eight years old in fourth grade. By the time my dad and I made our very first computer called the finger blinker that I had to show to the class. And so being so odd. I took refuge in movies and television and books, and grew up believing that all these things were real. Like I would watch the Academy Awards like they were my friends and family and at 16. I ended up because I built this manifesting concept. I ended up at the Academy Awards. I don't know I'm not related to anybody. I just could dream things so specifically into reality. And then the other side of that was I just wanted to matter. I had a sense that because I didn't fit in with anybody and no, I was just I didn't matter and I would be here and gone and no one would care. And I set out to say that's not going to be

My life, I'm going to make a difference. And I said that from the time that I was very little, one more quick story. So now not only do I have all these braces, but I got hit in the face with a baseball bat. And my face my my nose was very awkward. So there I am big frizzy hair, kind of overweight, broken nose braces. And one day my dad slips and he has a horrible accident, he cuts the front of his hand off in an accident. He's going to then spend the next three years in the hospital getting his hand restructured, rebuilt, and all my high school time was spent in the hospital, being with my dad and my family.

Talking about a time for dreaming. I tell the story. I didn't even realize it until many years later, which is why I love being a motivational speaker. I used to stand at his corner room and look over the only mountain that my town had. And it was you couldn't see it from the street, but you could see it from this view. And it had two giant chimneys it was red brick with a giant circular driveway and I kept thinking, who lives there? What is Halloween like there? What is Santa Claus was come down one of those chimneys in our house, he had to come through the oven, because there was no chimney. And it allowed me to to believe that something else was possible. Well, one day my mom comes to me at the hospital. She says, you know, I'm really sorry, but we have no money for college. Like we're flat out broke. And my dad's doctor overheard this conversation because my mother then said, but there's a beauty pageant coming to town called the Miss teenage America Pageant. And they're offering a scholarship. She looked at me, I looked at her, we looked at my face and thought, okay, maybe you could work at McDonald's. And it was this heart wrenching moment that 40 years later, I've never forgotten. My dad's doctor turned to my mother at that moment and said, hey, you know what, let me fix your daughter's nose. You know, your wife's going through things, you know, Operation kind of weird, right? And then we said, Okay, well, I woke up a couple of days later. And the craziest thing happened. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a very cute girl. My nose was cute. My eyes got bigger. My braces had come off. And I said to myself in a very weird kind of thing. I'm gonna I'm gonna save my family. I'm gonna win this competition. You know, who knew? Who knew that was even possible? Right? I set out there were 500 girls that I beat out. And I ended up becoming this teenager in New York in the Miss teenage America Pageant, getting a scholarship and starting my life. And understanding that there's so I found a picture if you don't mind me, I share my screen real quick. Because part of you is not you like, but for me. You're kind of cute. Now. How is this possible? Well, I put this together because people don't believe it. Do you see that picture? My dad? Oh, we do. i So there's me and my dad first got to put me on a pedestal. There's my mouth. There is my teeth. That was a mold. So my mother was a hoarder. She was first generation immigrant from Ukraine. 1968 She saved my teeth, which looks like a bad Halloween movie. They then put that on my mouth. That was the tongue twister that allowed me to not forever to talk for two years of my life. You mentioned your kids not being able to talk for two years. This was me big nose, overweight, frizzy hair. There's my beautiful dad with his printing presses. And then I went from this, my friend to this. And that little girl looked in the mirror and made a decision about life at 15 and a half that she was going to win this game, I had a hand me down bridesmaid's dress. And it's only a good story because it happened I might have ended up in the back and I would never have told the story. But the point is I want and I ended up on Bob Hope with Bob when NBC and you know, the end of it is that I went to college, there's me of my mom at graduation. And then I decided at some point that I was going to take life by the horns become Forbes Riley, and that's who you now know. Wow.

Yeah, that so is it. It's a combination of things that is the the an outcast. And we see this over and over again with success stories that they started off very much in a similar way. And then something triggered inside of them where they were going to create magic for multiple different reasons. But that perseverance, that gut wrenching, just, it's gonna happen, and I'm gonna I'm the one that's going to make it happen.

You know, we see it in movies like Rocky all the time, what the underdog does and here's the funny thing. If you do it, and it doesn't work, we never hear about you. Right? But if you get that spark, and I you know, Paul, there's one more caveat to that story. You saw me win the pageant, right? Well, the pageant was in Oklahoma, in 1977. And I was raised Jewish and they never the only Jews they heard where they were did not like, and I come from New York. And so I got met with you know, y'all have the funniest accent I've ever heard. And my response was what the fuck you talking about an accent how we talk right? We're from New York.

As a as a fellow New Yorker, I'm right there with you.

Hi. Not even Miss Congeniality. I was I was bullied. And you know what else happened at that time? Because life happens doesn't happen for you is that I made a decision to save other people along the way. And as I've lived out my life and wanting to be a coach and an instructor and a cheerleader for people around the globe, it happened primarily because that was the final tipping point, I got hurt so bad for reasons that I couldn't change. You can't change your eye color your hair, things you just can't change. And you got to learn to stand up. And not everybody does. So I stand up for other people. My thought is that if you're at a point, and you're listening to this right now, you can always make that decision. The decision does not happen to happen when you're young. But you do need to make a decision that life is going to be as you choose to create it. And if you don't, it will, in fact, pass you by i watched it pass by my parents, they never put their foot down, they never decided they were going to live a certain way. They let things happen to them, including Poway Did you grow up? Yeah,

New York's that out. Alright. So

you know, back then, you know, we had a house a Long Island, and you couldn't leave because the pipes would freeze. Right? Right. Right. And that was a big comeback. They never want to make a the pipes are gonna freeze. I'm like, Mom, sell the friggin house and move on with your life. Come on, my mom did not go to Hawaii with me, she did not get to go to Argentina with my dad, she was just, I said, You know what, this is not going to be my life in any shape or fashion. I love you guys very much. But number one, Mom, you're overweight, you have no idea how to take care of your body, I'm not going to look like you. I didn't say it out loud. And Dad, I'm going to make a lot of money, I'm not going to fight, I'm not going to work the way you did everyday carrying your toolbox to work and literally working 12 to 14 hours a day and never getting ahead.

You and I are similar in that way. And, and I reference being a scrapper. And in that both my parents were not they didn't stamp step up, they didn't do the tough choices. And they ended up you know, not having the life that they should have had. And it had nothing to do with talent had nothing to do with intelligence had nothing to do with any of that just pure perseverance and and that spark to decide to do it. And then just didn't. And I watched that. And that would spin my trigger, since I came to that realization that I didn't want to live their life. And I told

you brothers from brother from another mother, you're talking to scrappy kids from New York, same

thing and just said, All right. And it's interesting how and we've both had some challenges over there even the last couple of years, with COVID. And what that's done and some personal health challenges with either ourselves or family members and, and loved ones and, and with all of that, that perseverance that scrappiness comes to the surface like, no matter what I'm gonna end up back on top no matter what this is going to all work out no matter what this is gonna be great. And it's something that I watching you consistently, just nothing will ever. And that's what I see in winners across the board.

You know, I'm going to show you a picture. Because I am the living breathing example of everything that you're talking about. One I love coming from New York, I think as I talk to your attitude, and I like the speed that we talk, and we think, but I had a dream, I had a dream about being an actress when I was younger. And it was a massive dream because it just didn't want to be me. And I thought all the beautiful glamorous women, you know, walk through red carpet, and I wanted to be part of that. And I pursued an acting career for quite a long time. I got to a certain point and then got my head handed to me as Hollywood intends to do to women. And but I never gave up. Well, here's the crazy thing about that. And I don't want any of you to give up because there is no end and nobody defines you. And I'm the ultimate about having people try to define me try to put me down and to tell them to go, you know, but some days is harder than others. So I stopped that raised two beautiful babies. I also had a young man that I raised for 12 years who was murdered. So I've been on the up and down roller coaster of life like everybody has. So you don't get to stand there and go forwards you had an easy, easy is not a street I've ever been on. Exciting up and down but not easy. And I said to my daughter who's my business partner, because during COVID, we did create some miracles. We created a company now that has 18,000 students in it. Because I'm going to tell you this Paul, at the end of the day, scrappy wins. I just am scrappy wins. Because it's fun. I built my world. Nobody handed it to me because I had friends who were really rich, who got handed and they're feeling guilty. I built this I didn't sleep my way anywhere for it. I built it with family and friends. And I do know what friends mean. And I have a lot of them now, because I decided what was important in life. But I also said to my daughter, I said, you know I miss my acting career. It's a very frivolous thing because acting unless you're at the very, very, very top doesn't pay a whole lot. And but so we said that here's the crazy thing, Paul, about manifesting and dreaming is that when you set out that kind of an intention with the way that I do it, it just works. So my birthday was in April, I said I wanted to do this with that. I saw that a girlfriend of mine was producing her own film, and she needed some investors and you know what? It's an action packed Western film. I said, I'll invest in this. I believe in you. She said I believe in you too. How about you get to play the bad girl in my Western, and I just wrapped up two weeks in here in Tucson, playing the bad girl in an action pack martial arts western movie. And here's the funny thing about the martial arts part guys. I studied martial arts, not because I wanted to, but I got mugged when I was 30. I got hurt. I went to a self defense class, I fell in love with martial arts. And then 30 years later, I get to be in a movie about it. So I don't really care what you tell me you're going through, there is a golden door if you if you get to be scrappy, and continue to believe you can do it.

Here, here. Here, Hear hear that perseverance? It's I've done some studies recently on on what creates success. And one of the things that has come up most recently, and over the last, let's say 510 years in the studies is this, this adversity quotient, the ability that manage adversity in your life and keep moving forward. They've actually now identified and bottled up and said, that's one of the secrets to success, that you've got to have a high ability to manage, manage that adversity.

You know, something that that's true about, I've written movies, when you write movies, or you watch movies, movies, have to have adversity, and conflict or they don't exist. And this is a funny thing. Now you saying that because I grew up watching this. And here's the other thing about heroes, heroes is thing called the hero's journey, always end up doing it alone. It's not the best thing. But if you like if you want to, then they have this, this moment where all is doomed and glued. And they have to pick it up and go across the finish line. That was my teacher, as you're saying that the adversity quotient is a brilliant concept. Because it is the hero's journey, you will suffer along the way if you have a dream. But at the end of it, it always seems to be worth it.

You're here. Yeah. And that's been something that, that I know I value in my life. And I've watched and shared with you value in your life as well as that man, you will no matter what, create that finish. And that win, which is so amazing. And such a great lesson for everybody that's listening.

You also have to create and figure out what makes you happy. You know, I work sometimes 1820 hours a day, we were doing this movie, we're freezing our ass off in Tucson at night in the deserts of very cold and we're all like shaking like this and you go I wanted to be here, this is crazy. But you have to step out of whatever you're going through at that moment and go, This is what you wanted. This is what it looks like. You know, I have a moment where I walked on stage with Grant Cardone in front of 10,000 people. You know what's really interesting about that moment, and this is for every Rockstar and everybody behind the scenes, it looks like crap. The stage looks great. But the backstage where you're hanging out, it's got a dirty floor. And people are, you know, moving food every which way. It's there's no glam behind the scenes. I thought, This is what every celebrity every superstar gets to experience the moment before you walk out and it all looks like rah rah. Right? You got to really understand the game you're playing here it is not sunshine, lollipops and roses for any of us.

No, no, it's so amazing. And I think that's one of the biggest aha is for people that either make it or even have a chance to look behind the curtain as they're going through this journey, or even when they get started, is the realization that that it all looks good on Facebook. But behind the illusion behind the makeup and the end, the end the glitz and the glamour, man, we're still lugging our stuff at three in the morning to the airport place on time. You know, I will like where's the people that are supposed to be carrying my bag, though, we've got to be the ones and make it through what a and that's so powerful because so many people think that there's this moment in time when off. They get to just glide through like they're in a movie. And and nothing ever is asked of them to go and dig a ditch again, that they get out of that somehow. And

you know what I love Paul, I love when people come up to me, and they'll always and I say it a lot. They're like, wow, you're even nicer than you look or appear on television. And I always stuck with that. That means more to me than almost anything that they could say. Because number one, I want to thank my high school acting professor, Dr. Barry Kaplan, who when even if you have a late lead in the play, he made you paint the scenery and sell tickets. So very early on, I learned that nobody is just the star that that's that doesn't really exist. And you will be unhappy if you think that's the truth. And then I started to realize that even people like Elon Musk or Oprah or Tony Robbins or wherever you still go to the bathroom, eat with a fork and sleep on a pillow. There's just things that you don't get to not do in life, just because you got famous or you don't get To not be nice to people who aren't there, because they're not you. That's the worst thing that you can do. So a sense of humility and graciousness, I think is, and again, when people say that to me, I'm always surprised by the nasty person they must have met right before me. Yeah,

you know, I'm a firm believer, people talk about the money and what it can do to you. I believe money is a magnifier, that it just magnifies who you were before. So if you were a, an asshole, but the money's not changing that it just makes it so that more people notice. And so with the heart that you grew up with, and the heart of who you are, that shines through and and it's not about money, or fame or fortune. It's about who you are. And you can carry that with you wherever you are. The key is, don't forget,

well, Paul, I know that you and I teach. And one of the things that I love doing, and I don't know if you know about this, but besides teaching pitch, it's one of the things that I love doing, I teach people to communicate, to communicate with themselves to pitch to get out of bed to pitch to you pitch me to be on your podcasts, there's no money involved here, pitching is not selling. But I did pitch on infomercial, a little over two and a half billion dollars worth of product, I do have a very unique skill, we all have a skill and use to kind of find out what it is mine is to take whatever it is that you do or say and make it more impactful to someone else. But beyond that, the other little thing that I love doing with my students, is this breakthrough training. Because as you're talking about success, I can feel there's somebody out there listening going well, I still don't get it. It's not happening for me. And I will tell you, one of the keys to my success is that I started going to seminars when I was in my early 30s. And I found out that how you think and all the bullies in your past, or what conclusions your parents you about life really do affect you. And you have a moment it could be and it's the moments now it's not yesterday, and it doesn't have to be tomorrow, it could be right now where you say wait a second, what is holding me back? What limiting belief did my mom have about leaving the house about not eating right food about not wanting to ever go to the gym? What limiting belief did my dad had that says work harder, not smarter, and he did and he died that way. Those aren't my beliefs. But I carry those like I carried my parents baggage through life. And one day through seminars, whether it's training with you or me or anyone else. But I would seek out these rules where seminars happen, where you put your fist, I just did this last week where you put your fist through a board if you didn't think you could or you walk across glass, and you yelling, you're screaming you cry, because so many souls people that I meet can look at me and they're like, I don't deserve it. I don't think I'm enough. And if you say that you'll be right. And you won't live the life that Paul and I are talking about. How do you feel about that?

Yeah, that that whole concept of of that line in the sand, and I had it and for me it was about when I was 30 years old, and recognizing who my parents were for the maybe the first time and seeing them truly who they were and saying that's not who I want to be. And it's and that was when I was 30. And it took me a while to get there. For a while I thought oh, that's who I'm supposed to be? Right. And thou that was the biggest challenge. And so that definitely that line in the sand and saying, I get to choose, which most people don't realize that they have that choice?

They don't. And I'll tell you mine happened at 31. And I'm grateful that we and I both discovered that and we wouldn't be having this conversation. And I wish that more people did. I really do. Because a lot of people now especially with the online world, you know, I had a very unique opportunity. We both have twins, we both have a lot of fun kids running around. Well during COVID Maya, my kids were juniors in high school. And my daughter had been doing digital marketing online since she was 12 years old, making making more money than I realized she was. That's an interesting thing. Yeah, she's like, Mom, I made $10,000 last month. I'm like doing what she's like selling this little dropship lenses from China. I'm like, What are you doing? And she came to me, because I will tell you as glossy and amazing. As I look on the outside, I have some pretty deep, deep crevices of my parents of things that they did that stuck my limiting beliefs. They'll get to me every once in a while and said, Mom, you're going to teach pitching. I said no, I don't do this online thing. Well, I don't know how to do the back end and the database and it's confusing, and I paid people and they screwed me over. Like mom, that's a nice story. Stop saying it, which is my teaching to her back to me. Hello. And we sat down and we built my course about how to pitch and guys, for all of you listening. Paul, I know you built an entire company out of nothing. You just decided that you're going to call it Maverick I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that. And we launched on a Wednesday night I had 25 people in a room and I created this $1,000 training. And Paul the next morning and this is right in the middle of COVID when everyone's freaking out. I opened up the account to see how well we did. And I turned to my daughter and I said what is the K stands for Are two What do you mean mom? I said, well, it says we have 25k in the account. Like mom, last night you sold $25,000 worth of your coaching. I'm like, we didn't check everybody in the room bought what you were selling. We did that for the next four weeks, we had $100,000 in four weeks of opening a business. So I do not want any of you to stand there going, you cannot do it. You may not have the tools or the wherewithal. But if you don't have the belief system that Paul and I are telling you, it's time to get your act in gear because there's no time like today. You're

here. Yeah, it's so amazing. And we I, we work with so many people that are just getting started. And we know that that they've got so much more inside of them. And we know that there's opportunity everywhere. If you just step into it if you just do the thing, and dare to do the thing. The Yeah, everything we've ever created has been from scratch. And we know what that looks like and teaching people that is so great. And you're absolutely right. You were one of the best on putting together that that pitch that story that that engagement to say, here's how you do this and bring it to the market.

I think we should do a concept between you and I called dare to be scrappy. That sounds like a compilation book.

Oh my gosh, yes. Oh, I'm there.

I know. Right? That's, that's my genius. I see things. You know, by the way, I'm gonna You

heard it here. First, guys. Your first.

I don't know if you've ever seen this. Last time I said that. I had a guy just like this. We were talking. I said, we let's we have a thing called one habit, one habit for entrepreneurial success. That turned into an 820 page book that Steve and I both did. And then it turned into another book that we did during COVID. So I'll tell you what, when I have these ideas, run with them. Oh,

oh my gosh, yeah, I'm not sure 800 pages is what we want to go with. But we'll work on that.

Let me tell you something to happen here. And by the way, I have to say something. So I don't take COVID very lightly because this beautiful man, Steve, I lost in the middle of COVID he died. And in the middle of all that we were doing. So it was not a joke for me about what happened to all of us. But he came in one night and said have this crazy idea. And he said, I'd like to get 100 People in this book, paying X doing X and I said, Well, you know, you've got a really good idea here. I'd started my coaching company. And I said to him and Paul, this is what I do. I'm outrageous. I said I could have 100 people in 24 hours. He said, really? He said most people take three to six months. I said I've got 100 Very committed entrepreneurs. They all said yes. And then I went after all my celebrity friends and it was in this book. The guy who created Ugg boots, the guy who created Make A Wish Foundation, the guy who created Pictionary. I just, I mean, Les Brown, Sharon Lechter, I put all my celebrities. When we got to as many authors as we did, I had to stop because 820 is the biggest book that Amazon will print. So it doesn't need to be that nuts. But if you're listening to this right now, you love Paul, and you are scrappy. I think there's we know who we are. Oh, yeah, baby. I would love to hear some success stories. What does it mean? What How did you scrappiness help you be successful? Put it

in the comments, absolutely. Share this share throughout the world. This is going to be a thing. And anybody who wants to be a part of it, man reach out because it's going to happen. It

just sounds like a great idea. And that's so when people say to me, I was talking last night to a group I have a big mastermind and somebody said there's not a lot of opportunities. I say you know what? You're right there isn't my son said the same thing. My son was nine years old we're driving home from school one day and he's so sad and so what's mad he's like mom all the good ideas have been taken. I said oh man you're so right. Like Facebook's been taken there's cars there's no there's no new idea oh wait Instagram just came out oh a Bitcoin just came out oh wait electric cars. What are you talking about? There is but he had this in his head and all the good ideas had been taken and I think if you think that you're right my gosh that's how small you will think

I got to share what my son is 23 Now he's getting he's got a great deal under contract in real estate and I deal with these people all around the country that complain to me how they're no good deals and then in you know my son decided to get into real estate and within the month he got a property on the contract that's a great deal that's going to cash flow that's gonna create everything and he's getting into it with next to no money out of his pocket and and I go like he's paid for inspection and the deposit money but that's it like not even the whole device the the hold it till I get back to you money is all he had to put out of his pocket. Everything else is from other people and not from me. And and those things happen all the time when you have the belief system. Have them mindset to say the opportunities are there. Let me let me just read through and filter out all the garbage in the life to find the opportunity. And when you have that open mind and open eyes and yours to make it happen, you will do you think

he got that inspiration from hanging out with you guys from how you think? Oh,

well, of course, yeah. Yeah. You know, and it's, I've got six just amazing children. And it's that same thing. It's that they got that because this is what we teach. And they, they get inspired by it, and they hear it, it's in their cells. And that makes a difference. Like with us, we carry forward. You know, what you and I have talked about for us is we carried forward the belief systems from our parents. And so

funny when you said six, I'm sorry, well, I'm just I'm gonna when you said six kids, I have two and two is comfortable for me, because I came from too. I knew too. Did you come from bigger family? No,

it was only me and my sister. Oh, really? Yeah. Have that

many personalities in your life and to watch their lives must be just like, unbelievably, I love my kids to know it. And I think yeah, yeah,

it's an ongoing journey. Every every day is a mix of of a dozen different scenarios of what's happening, where they're going, what they're doing. My My other son just ran a marathon. yesterday. Yeah, yesterday, so we're constant, my daughter ran marathon two weeks ago. So they're just really active athletes, like in their space, not their profession, just what they enjoy doing.

I think it's it's so beautiful. I think this is the most amazing time to watch your kids do what they do. My daughter just came home last night from skiing where she was. And then she was in Portugal and just living her life. And it's like, it's fantastic. They become amazing. I'm loving this part of my life, because they're just allowing me to realize that one the work in time I invested in them is paid off. And then to just teaching me lessons that I think I now need to know. Yeah,

yeah. Never to never too old to learn. And we continue to cycle through the lessons until we learn them.

But it is interesting, because not everybody is as lucky. And that's what I'm going to talk about. You know, I had a conversation the other day, I was on a summit and I, I was not joking. But I said, I said to my audience do something. In an effort to fall in love with yourself, I said, the instructions were go stand in front of the mirror and take off your clothes and look at your body. And I'm going to tell you that 98% of you, the first thing you're gonna do is look at what's wrong with your body. Which is what's wrong with everything that you're doing that moment of decision of not looking at it and instant going on grateful for you. As opposed to going man, look at that thing. It's sagging, when did that happen? And you telling your subconscious, all the negative things about your physicalness in this planet on this world, which is what most people do, I had this woman come up to me and out of the blue, and she started crying hysterically. And it turns out that she dealt with a whole lot of abuse. I have a way of drawing those kinds of people to me and in this was in a very public arena. And it was we did a little bit of a breakthrough. But I realized that I talked to a friend of mine last night you've been married, you got six kids life is much better for you, I think than my girlfriend who has been divorced for 20 years and still single. And then it gets to be the holiday time and people are still kind of confused. So what do you say to people who are not getting all those things that they want that you and I are some level not taking for granted but have access to?

I do believe that there's there's the ability to choose and decide and manifest. And the we start off with what do you truly want? If if there was a magic wand to create anything that you want? What would that be? And let's write that down. Let's get really clear with what is what could be let's write your your best screenplay. Where you are the star in it, what would it look like? And begin to to talk about the possibilities of meeting your your beautiful, loved one tomorrow. Who would that? Who would that look like? Who would that be? And then we say, well, if that perfect person is going to come into my life, am I the one that they're going to love? Or do I need to shift do I need to change? And then we get busy.

You know, I love that you said that? Because I went through that I love I mean, I look at Paul and his wife who's just stunningly beautiful inside now. And again, I go back to that first dinner where I was just enamored with this couple in love with these six kids and just go oh my gosh. And for me, I dealt with a situation where I stayed very too much long at the party with you know, you go through things with your partner I was married. And when we lost the son that we raised, it destroyed us as a couple. And so for many years I helped raise my kids alone. And I kept thinking that I love. I love and hate fairy tales, like really hate fairy tales. But I love them, which is like what? Yeah, we all grew up on this Disney thing turns out Disney was horrible. He killed off the mothers of people like Bambi and Dumbo. He made the stepmothers horrible, terrible witches. All the princesses has tiny little waist and long blonde hair and they're waiting for some man to save them. I got the message. I can't that's what I kept thinking. I'm not enough because I'm not that tiny, long, beautiful princess. And I want someone to save me. One day this movie called Trek came out, thank God, these I'm sitting in the auditorium or the theater and I'm watching it. And he said we're not you know, when you're when my true love kisses me, I'll turn into who I'm supposed to be. And of course, we all know it's Cameron Diaz with long blonde hair and a tiny waist. And I'm like, Oh my God, he's gonna kiss her and she's gonna get beautiful. Well, he kissed her. And guess what? She turned out to be a green ogre who farted? I'm like, Yes. And I'm screaming Paul. I'm in the theater by me. Everybody's like, oh, sorry. But it's like, so cool. And then I said, I want a fairytale romance. I said to myself, when I was looking for my, the man of my dreams, I said, I want someone who looks like he walked off the cover of a romance novel. I know, I'm 57. I know, I'm not the most beautiful or the riches or whatever. But that's what I want. And you just said that. And I'm going to show you a picture of the man that I ended up getting because of what I wanted. And he showed up in my hotel room. Have you seen a picture of Joshua? As I want you to look at this. And when you do wait, that's the man that you sleep next to? Yes. And so

I actually was showing off Joshua's picture to some of my team when we were setting up this podcast. Because I've met Joshua what just a beautiful man inside and out as well. And like, just a heart of gold quiet like you would never know. Like, like from looking at that that picture but man, one of the like, sweetest biggest hearts. Wonderful. And, and so I was sharing that photo and say, yep, this this is this is the the people that are coming on our podcast. Well,

but I'll share what's your true love? Well, and let me just full circle this for everyone who just said, Whoa, are you kidding me? Paul talks about COVID January 2 of 2020. Joss was writing on his motorcycle. And he gets hit by a kid in the car. And I want you to see what happened. He ended up you guys see the guy on the left that in a wheelchair and he shrunk down to nothing? Yep, the guy on the right is not the before photo, it's the after photo. All he has a crush here. He said to me, I'm gonna go back to the gym and become Mr. Olympia. Again, when the gyms open. Now, here's the thing, you can look at a picture like that and go, Oh, wow, look at him. But I'm going to tell you what it took to get those after his accident was something that you and I will never and everybody watching going oh, good for him? No, no, you will never go to the gym twice a day, and eat just eggs and steak and asparagus. For eight months. You won't do it. I won't. I don't even know why someone does it. But it's he's a champion in his mind physically. It's what he loves to do. It's how he loves to look. He's going to compete again. But I watched him. And here's the thing he limps every day. He's in pain every day. And I said to him, I said, Josh, I love you. I love you so much. Because more than what you look like or who you are. Your story serves all of us that says if you want something bad enough, you do everything to get it. You leave nothing on the table. Because if you do, you don't get to complain that you don't have it. He was

we were together when he was recovering. And when he was in that wheelchair. We were in that space together. Yeah, yeah, I remember that time and he was just just beginning recovery.

And I said to him, I said, you know, I appreciate that you've been an athlete your whole life, you'll always look good your fitness model and fashion model, the accident which defines everybody's life. There's a moment in everyone's life like I talked about my dad's accident. It's something that happens that often defines a before this moment and an after this moment. And I said to him they after this moment now allows you to show the world that you're human that your program what you'd how you train works really well. And I'm sorry that you have this story, but I think we started this whole conversation you and I and I want everyone listening to this. Because if you've gone through something bad tragic term, you Trimark too much Willis, what's that word? Horrible. There, that one? Yeah. That that is the reason for you to continue. It's not the reason for you to stop. It's the reason it's the foundation that if you can come back from that, that alcoholic dad, that guy who raped you that business that folded that narcissistic husband, whatever it is, if you can come back from that. I'm going to tell you that's how you win

whatever greatest things about what we've been talking about. And what we teach is that it never goes away. That once you know that how to once you know how to move from zero to 60, how to move the needle, it never goes away. With with with the with COVID. And everything. You know, it's not just one event, one accident one thing that creates that movement, you and I both know it can happen at any time. And it happens over and over again in our life. The key component is knowing that you can shift that knowing that you can keep moving forward and build, build it all over again, create it move through this whatever obstacle happens. And that's such a great message of of hope that anyone once you do it once you know it's in your skill set, it's in your cells, that you can do it over and over and over again and nothing. That's true freedom. That's true freedom.

Yeah, it is definitely a sense of power. Life is a very funny thing. I just, I It's, I would just if I were you and you're listening to this, I would enjoy it to no end, I would decide what makes you happy. And so I'm sitting here playing with a little rock in my desk. And like, you know, for many years, I didn't know I'd forgotten what made me happy. Paul, what makes you happy

that this actually people, people ask me, what do you do for fun? I was like, I do it every day. What do you mean? Like I don't understand

this, okay. So that you know, that's very funny. You say my accountant has a real issue with me. He's like, Well, you have to separate your business and your pleasure. And I'm like, dude, every meal I ever have turns into business, every podcast, every meeting every vacation. I'm working. In fact, I just booked a trip to New York City with my son for his birthday. On the 13th. I get a call going, Hey, could you do a keynote in Smithtown was when I land, I'm gonna go work. My entire life is a write off.

We do it all the time. I mean, we're, I'll be let's see, for three out of four weeks in January, I'll be hanging out in hot tubs and beaches. But every single one of those days is work. So you go, Wait a second. I'm sorry. What? That's your life. I was like, Yes. Only it was a life. And by the way, my wife will be next to me. My children will be next to me. Let's see, at least a couple of my children will be next to me the whole time. Right. Yeah. And, and my wife will be next to me the whole time. And so all this that's my work. And and people like, how did this happen? It wasn't by accident. It was deliberate intent. And that's what you know, this story is all about. That's what this our messaging and everything. Everybody that's listening here. Recognize that what we're talking about is true. Is the True Blue. It's it's what you can have in your life too. And I don't believe it's beyond anybody's reach.

I agree. Although I'm waiting for this book now because I'm looking at you. And I'd love to have you on my I have a national radio show that I'd love to have you on? Because to uncover that moment. I know what makes me me, but not really. You know, it's like, and I'm looking at you going? Because if we both went back to our high school reunions, were an anomaly. There are not a lot of people like us to the point of even walking in with our partner. And going yeah, this is my 50th reunion. I don't think people are walking around going so what is it? Why us? And I would love to have that conversation maybe even offline or in this book. Because I was told no one ever expected this from me. I know that. That's the last person they would have thought of and when you go back to high school reunion, which by the way, if you peaked in high school, you peak too soon.

Yes,

I went I took this is crazy. The little girl in me is just She's so stubborn. What sign are you by the way?

We are we going there? Just real quick. Yeah, I have a Gemini.

Okay. I knew that because that's my that was one of my favorite guys. And I'm a Taurus. I'm a bull in a china shop

sign of the twins baby. Yeah. You got

it in spades, dude. And so I took I went out to lunch with the two girls that were idolized. One was the lead singer. They both were the big singers and all the high school musicals. And I I love them both. I wanted to be them. Well, one teaches singing locally in Long Island and the other is a yoga teacher. And I'm like you have a great life but not what I wanted. And I'm like, Wow, congratulations, Forbes. You figured this out. You didn't know it along the way. So what advice do you give to people who are just who can't quite see it yet?

Firstly, I do Do want to share is when I went to my one of my high school reunions, I think it was my 10 year, I actually got a chance to speak to the bully that bullied me. Yes. And and it wasn't a it was actually a, you know, a definitely a wrap our arms around each other. It wasn't like any like negative I was just like, Yeah, remember you were like, kind of mean to me. Yeah, that wasn't good days for me. And, and he was like, so sorry. I'm like, and I had already started creating success. And so he like was absolutely looking at what I was doing and leaning into me. And it was such an interesting shift. And the recognize that yeah, I didn't peak in high school. Absolutely not. What is ice? Man? It's, it's, it's recognizing that you can. And one of the things that I know for my students, and they and they, they report back, one of the biggest things I give them is that understanding of hope is that there's a light at the end of the tunnel and never think there's not that that time will pass. And you will be able to, to supersede all of this. Given your own understanding that the light is there and keep moving towards it.

Well, you know, that's interesting thing I don't I don't give people hope. I watched a seven year old last night, who was doing music videos and dancing like she had like she was 22. And this is a woman who comes from Asia, who when I first met her was sitting in a very dark hole, she was in her 70s and had thought life was done. And now she's dancing like a 22 year old. And I know what I do in my world, which is different from Paul, I give you skills, I big I push you to the point of being outrageous in your own life, and then getting you to understand how to articulate it. So Paul, let me just real quick, if I asked you, what do you do? What do you say

I would adjust that slightly to they've got to see the hope to go through the work it takes to grant this skill.

And I'm gonna say that you're right, and I never looked at it that way. And that's

what I meant by by that is that for them to go the distance, they've got to do the work. And for them to do the work, they've got to see a light at the end of the tunnel, they kind of see that their work is going to be effective. You

know what, and that's, that's an interesting point of contention here. Because I don't know that that's true. I think I deal with a lot of people who don't see the hope. But I hold a candle for them at the end of the hallway and say just keep walking, just put one foot in front of the other. I don't care if you see hope or not just keep walking, I'm going to hold a vision for you. Bigger than yourself. I'm going to give you skills. And I'm going to say Keep coming, keep coming. And there's going to be moments where you're completely helpless. And you think this is stupid, and I don't really care if you believe in me. And that and that's a part of the issue too. As a teacher, I don't hope. Yeah, well, no, it is definitely. And I never thought about it. Definitely.

For the whole. Yeah,

I don't. And you know, I didn't even know I think it's funny looking at each other. I don't I didn't set out to be teaching this. No. Right. I just think that because I'm there and it's wonderful. The best thing I can do is bring other people with me. Yes. Because even though I said I had no friends when I was younger, I have a lot of friends now we just we

just want the party. So we bring everyone for the for the journey, because you know, doing it alone sucks.

This is so much fun. Guys, if you're witnessing this, you're watching like a whole new Paul and I met three years, four years ago now in January. Yeah. Isn't that funny? I know exactly. When I met him. That's an important thing too. And we've not really had a chance to connect because of work and whatever. And I'm loving this conversation because we're also four years deeper as humans ourselves. So when someone says to you, Paul, what do you do? What do you tell him?

I transform people into the person they'd want to be.

I like that. Okay. I love that. And the word then if you said, because what would you say? Because why

do I do what I do? Yeah. Because I've gone through the journey and recognize the before, during and after. And it's my passion to help other people do the same.

So did you hear what Paul didn't do? He didn't say I'm a teacher. I'm a coach. I do this. I do that or I was when I hear people say the answer to that question, Paul. It makes my skin crawl. And the truth is, all of you get asked this question every day. What do you do? Please stop pretending it's a surprise. Oh, well, gosh, I do so many things. Nobody cares. What you shouldn't be hearing and when I train my people to do when someone says what do you do? They don't care what you do. They care what you can do for others. Paul immediately made about what he does for others. When you do that the other person listens to you. Oh, okay, it's about me. And this is the beginning and the tip of what I love to teach I just I'm on a roll here, that if you can craft and understand who you are and your value to other people, and then say it, literally say it without all those silly words that keep you from your own greatness. And then we just launched a new program. We're doing a couple of things. I have a one minute to millions bootcamp that I'm doing. And I gotta tell you, this is crazy fun. If you can, you know, people don't realize but one minute how much you watch commercials during the Superbowl, right? 60 seconds how much that cost? Now

$13 million for a minute. It's insane.

When we went on our cruise, you got a minute to get up there and tell people what you did. Most people are completely not memorable. Am I? Correct? Correct. But the ones who are who grabbed that minute by the balls and said I'm gonna hold on to my minute here. So I now train I train people to do that. And we do it a bootcamp called one minute to millions that I would love to give you guys like an amazing offer to come say, hey, let's come play with her. Because of all the things that you do. You ain't never done this. Oh,

my love that. Yes, yes. Yes. So Forbes, why don't you share that right now once you make sure that everyone hearing this is grabbing hold of it?

Well, one way to get a hold of me and, and free gifts and things that I do is simply go to Forbes riley.com. I've made it. So there's all kinds of things there. But if you go to one minute to millions.com, you will find a place away to join us. In January, once again, we're gonna launch this amazing, it's more than a training, it is a happening. It is a movement, it is hundreds of people on a zoom call doing their one minute and then Paul, I do this thing called the perfect pitch party, where you get to pitch for dollars. I also get this I have a new TV series out that I just did with David Meltzer called the the two minute drill. Let me check. And I'm telling everybody about this because we have an opportunity, we gave away $50,000.06 times to expert pitchers, oh, it's a lot of money. And it's on Zoom, which is what I've been teaching forever. And so we're going to do this again in July, where you will have the ability to audition and try out for this. And then be on television literally on Bloomberg and Roku wherever else the TV show airs. And we pick six different winners who each win $50,000. So if you think getting your pitch organized is just oh, I just should do that. No, no, I'm telling you, you should do that. So seek out Forbes rally.com If I can get your pitch in shape. Because I watched people who had never worked with me, they weren't very good. And I'm like going, huh, I'm gonna change the shape of this TV show it

it's so much fun watching people that say they're in the same industry as you are. And yet they are not quite doing it in the same way. And you know, you can shift them and change them and help them along. So yeah, oh, how cool. Oh, yeah,

I'll keep I'll keep you posted and your people should know about this. It's free. It's free to enter this competition. And then when they get down to the six that era, so we have 30 Different contestants throughout the episodes. And it's insane. David Meltzer is one of my new I don't know if you've ever met him, but a brilliant businessman, he was the real life Jerry Maguire for sports guys. And now he's his his philanthropist who wants to help other people.

The ability to to craft your pitch, if you will, that presentation of who you are. And what you do, is so powerful with everything else. And there is no industry, there's no product that doesn't at one point or another need to present it to the world. It's presented to people. And that is the cornerstone, the foundation of success for every item out there. And yet, it's the last thing that people look at in their business model.

Oh, Paul, I'm not even talking about business pitches. Do you know that you pitch everyday all day? Oh, you pitch me to be on this show your kids pitch you think about how skilled your kids are at getting what they want from mommy or daddy or from each other. Yeah, yeah. And if you want to go to a certain restaurant and your wife doesn't who's pitch wins. So guys, pitching is a life skill that you should be practicing every day. And partly, I'm almost sad that I taught my kids to do this so well, because they pitched me all over the

place. No, never be sad because it's a skill set that genes

a job. It's a job now. They just get what they want. I

started this and you'll appreciate this. I started when my children were young. I remember my daughters. They were just early teens, and I forget exactly what year it was. And there were early teens and they wanted a phone they wanted to roll first phone cell phone, and it was you know, just coming of age during that time, like oh, you would get your kid and cell phone there was a whole debate about whether you should or shouldn't. And I went alright, I'm not gonna get into that debate. I'm just gonna give them a challenge. And I told them tell you what, you want a phone. You know what Daddy does? Daddy present presents an argument why I should be spending money to give you your phone. So that's what you need to do. So go pitch me. And I literally, and I thought that would be it. I thought I've done like, they're never going to come back and actually put this together. No, no, no, the two of them first time, I think in their life, that they work together on something. They work together as a team. And they put together a PowerPoint presentation. Step by step, they had gotten screenshots of the phone they wanted, they got the pricing of it, how was going to save me money were saved me anguish, because I wouldn't have to worry about where they were. And like, had all the argument. They had it all down. I don't have that PowerPoint. I wish I had saved it for when they were young. And I was like, how do I say no, they like took me up on my challenge. And what a great skill set to learn how to do that. Oh, yeah. Why is that over and over again, in your life in so many different ways.

I'm gonna say, Well, my view, my son just got into the college of his choice, which is hard to do nowadays. And he came to me afterwards. And he said, Mom, I'm here, I got this because of pitch. I said, What do you mean? He said, Well, it came down to they had X amount of candidates. And we had to go in for an interview. And my interview was a pitch. Because I knew what the person wanted to hear from me and I crafted and the way he articulated it, is exactly what I teach. He didn't go in there, not knowing what was going to be asked. He went in there, allowing the person interviewing him to understand that he would make their school better by being there, here, here. Nobody else thought to do that. And I'm like, Dude, that is, that's the best gift I could have given you.

I've coached people on how to get how to get jobs. I'm not a firm believer in getting a job, go work for yourself. However, if you are, here's how to get it. And I've never been turned down for a position because that same approach, right, go in there. And you actually tell them why you're the best candidate. And, but more importantly, you go in there and say how you're going to help them and know all about where they're at what they want, what's important to them, as if you're interviewing them.

Right. And you know, one of the things too, we all got to come up against this where you want money, you want someone to invest in what you're doing. And here's my little secret sauce on that. One is most of you go in talking about your product, talking all about how wonderful it is. And this is awesome. And this is great. And the industry is this. And here's statistics about that. Don't do that. Here's the only thing an investor wants, they don't really care about your product, they don't at the end of the day, what they care is getting their money back. And if you know that as the very first course of action, somebody is investing you because they want to see they want to get their money back and listen to your parents. So I want to see you do good in the world. That's the second thing you want to focus on. But go in there realizing they're putting it on the line and make it so it's irresistible to them to be a part of this. And then if you put in a goodwill aspect, they just want to be a part of this, like we all invested in this movie, we're not going to get our money back. But we got what we wanted. We wanted to see a homemade movie produced on the big screen or get a part in whatever it is that you want. If you give people what they want, they will give you what you want. I think since he said that,

so many Yes, indeed. They, it's so so amazing. This is exactly what I teach for negotiations for sales strategies for Absolutely. And I teach people in real estate, how to do deals with no money down and how to create that magic. It means you're going and bringing money to the doorstep. And how do you do that? And so many people go I don't know how to do that. I was like you This is how here's the step by step process. And then even how to go in and negotiate with bankers and people that wait your you can negotiate with bankers. Yes. Because they've got a need base. Yes. Understand what that is. And then speak into that. Serve them and they'll give you whatever you want. Oh,

guys, if you're listening and you want to hang out with us, you want to dare to be scrappy here. Yeah.

We, we are at I don't know whether you realize, but this is how we we roll. We have just seated multiple times in one conversation without knowing we were seating for a future business that hasn't even been created yet. And we've already seen it. And all of you are waiting for details on how to get involved. Oh, that's how it's done.

I think that means that I've got to jump. I've got some team members. We're doing a giant award show called The Excel is coming up. And I got to focus on this because we are literally doing the Oscars for entrepreneurs. I would love to give you guys a couple of tickets, go to forbesriley.com. Over there, you'll get free gifts. You'll see what I'm up to maybe you come to the awards. Maybe somebody wants to be a sponsor of the event. I gotta tell you, you're gonna see hundreds of entrepreneurs doing Dress up from the waist up. And it's a very exciting time. So big hug to you, my friend. I adore you and your audience. Guys look for a book coming out called dare to be scrapping. No, it's not happening yet. But yes, yes, yes. And then when you're not doing that, I think Paul mentioned my little spin gym. You guys, if you ever get a chance to come the holidays, you want a special gift, are you want to make sure that you can get fit sitting at your desk. I'm gonna do a little plug for my most amazing fitness product. You guys have no idea where it what it is. It's how I have a rockin body one size smaller than high school. And I'm 63 years old. Just saying, aren't you? I love you very much.

Forbes absolutely wonderful to be here. Wonderful to have you with me. This has been phenomenal. We'll go ahead and do this again. And you and I are going to tuck it around the corner to get our scrappy book ready. And for all of you out there. This is Paul Finck The Maverick Millionaire This is Mavericks Do It Different podcast. Share us. Join us be a part of this movement and this great information and these great community of people because we love you and we'd love you to be in this world that we live in every day.