Barrier and Roadblock to Soul Progress #16 Defiant Dishonesty | EP 61

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Welcome to Mastering Life's Adventures, an educational podcast about tapping

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Judith Holder, your host, coach psychologist, fellow seeker who enjoys

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Hi, I'm back to talk about another barrier roadblock to our soul

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evolution, and this is to defiant dis.

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Defiant dishonesty.

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I was making a comment in my last episode.

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I was talking about righteous indignation.

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And you can go back and listen to that.

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This is related in terms of defiant, in terms of defiant dishonesty.

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And what we're looking at, and I left off the last time, was about a comment

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I made about how righteous retaliation was hanging out with this quality

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underneath that righteous retaliation is the possibility of not being good enough.

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And that's why we're being triggered in moving into this righteous retaliation.

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My thoughts about this as it relates to defiant dishonesty.

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I will talk a little bit more in a minute about how it relates to soul.

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Let me first talk about the dishonesty component.

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As I've been thinking about this, and the soul, and our psychology, and our life

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experiences, and cultural experiences, and societal experiences that we do have.

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When you think about dishonesty, you think about a sham.

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You think about something's fake, that is deceptive, or duplicity going on with it.

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And the word that comes up to my mind is, untruthfulness.

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The person's not being true.

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They're not saying the things that are true.

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And there may be many reasons why people get into this dishonesty with

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themselves and dishonesty with others.

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And, uh, one of the things I was thinking about that, maybe simple as, like, for

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example, we say sometimes that we're happy or content in our life and, or

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we're, or better yet, that we're happy with the project and how it turned out.

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And then when we, we're happy with it.

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But then when we give it to other people to look at or to give some

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critique around or information about, they say, that looks great.

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We think it looks great.

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But they're not really sharing with you, maybe one or two things that could have

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been done a lot better with the project.

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But overall, the project was pretty good.

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But again, they're not sharing with you the one or two things that could

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make that project to be exceptional.

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Because they're afraid of or fearful about being offensive.

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Or some things, saying things that rock the boat, or getting into a conflict.

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There's many people who just don't like to be in conflict.

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Therefore, they don't say the truth.

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They only say partial truth.

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Or they only kind of gloss over things and not giving you really a holistic view

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that could be helpful to your evolution and your own particular growth in the area

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of work or in your personal relationships.

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or in any of your experiences that you have.

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With this dishonesty takes place, it really puts us in a situation in which we

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know that we're not being totally truthful because, like I said, various reasons.

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We don't want to hurt people's feelings and want to be nice to individuals.

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But we also have to be true.

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And we have to find out, find ways in which we're sharing and talking

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about things that are maybe a little bit more difficult to talk about.

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That may be more helpful for the other person, especially if they

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ask for the feedback from us and looking for some sincere, genuine

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comments that you can be able to give.

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But what happens if this kind of takes place?

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One of the things my mind went to was the Johari window.

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Which came out in 1955, maybe some of you know.

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It was with two individuals who were interested in helping people

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to understand themselves as well as their relationships better.

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And they were psychologists who created the Johari Window.

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And it was Joseph Love and Harrington Ingram.

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What they ended up doing was taking their names, their first

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names, Joseph and Harrington.

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And they ended up pulling together to make the Johari window.

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So that's a little bit of background of how the Johari window came about.

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It became very helpful for many people when it came out

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in the 50s and the 60s and 70s.

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and even to this day, it's what people refer to, you know, in their, um, talking

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about these blind spots that we have, or talking about leadership development.

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We're talking about helping to coach people through situations

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and circumstances that they may find themselves in.

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For our purposes, we're talking about it through the

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perspective of defiant dishonesty.

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And, but that, that analogy or that statement that I used or example that I

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used earlier about this project and the person not really getting true feedback

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and they are getting more kind of the higher order of feedback because they

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want to be nice and not about the two or three things that can really help

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the, the project to shine so much more.

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And they're generally looking for feedback because we don't feel

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comfortable giving it for various reasons.

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We don't give it, which is a lost opportunity.

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What the Chahari Window says, that may explain some of

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this, there's an open self.

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There's four quadrants.

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It's like a box and you put kind of a diagonal line, a horizontal

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line, and you have four quadrants.

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And each quadrant relates to the understanding of self and

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the understanding of others.

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So in one quadrant, there is the open self, which is kind

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of known as the public self.

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And that is things that you know and other people know about you.

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And then there's another quadrant in that Johari window, in that square, which is

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kind of known as the hidden self, or the mask, or the private self, or the secret

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self, or all words that have been used.

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And that is known to ourselves, as well as can be unknown to others.

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So it's known to self, and unknown to others, that hidden aspect of self.

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And then another quadrant of that window is the blind spot.

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Or the blind self, or the unknown blind spot.

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That's usually unknown to ourself and known to others.

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So other people can see something about us that we don't see about ourselves.

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That's what that quadrant really focuses around.

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And it can be something simple as, for example, you're smirking.

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And so other people know that when you're smirking, you're about

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to tell a joke about something.

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But you don't know that, that that's your kind of way in which you're

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announcing to them because you're in your own self, so you don't see yourself.

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But they can see that you're smirking.

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And so that's an example of kind of the, that aspect of the quadrant in terms of

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the blind spot that can happen to us.

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It can be something simple as that.

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Another actually thought is when a person tells you something about yourself

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and you're surprised, and you don't think the assessment or the statement

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that they said to you is correct, so you don't, since you don't see it.

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You don't believe it, even though it may be true.

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But again, that's why it's called the blind spot.

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There is the...

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Unknown self.

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I'm talking about this, again, from the aspect of defiant dishonesty

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and what may happen there, which I'll talk more about as I put out

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this last quadrant and helping you to understand this Johari window.

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So we talked about the open self in one quadrant and another

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quadrant is the hidden, the mask or the private or secret self.

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And then in another quadrant, there is the blind spot.

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And then what I'm talking about now is the unknown self.

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And in the unknown self, these are things that you don't know about

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and others do not know about.

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And literally, some people say it came out of the blue, whatever happened.

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Oh, I didn't realize that just came from somewhere.

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I don't know where.

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That's usually known as the, uh, unknown self or the mystery self, the mystery

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aspect of the quadrant in ourselves.

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It's the unconscious level that we don't readily know all that's there

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and it comes up during times of stress.

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or during times of just unexpectedly.

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All these different levels may be operating within us.

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There's some things we know at the conscious level, and there's some

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things we don't know, which may be subconscious or unconscious to us,

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and how we behave and why we're doing what we're doing, and our expectations

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about ourselves, as well as in our interactions with other individuals.

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With that window in mind, and understanding, and going back to

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dishonesty, There may be within the hidden, and which is that known to

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self and not known to others, and in the blind spot that is unknown to you,

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but known to others as well as in the unknown self, that dishonesty may happen.

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But I'm just gonna focus on these two areas, which is more of the, the hidden,

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the mass, the private part of ourselves in a blind spot happens now, and what happens

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is, is, is that it's understandable.

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While there may be some dishonest play going on with ourselves, we also don't

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see certain aspects of ourselves.

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That's why it's called blind spot.

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Or there may be aspects that we know that others don't know that we're trying

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to opaque and not want our people to see about our insecurity, for example.

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But what we're trying to do...

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is bringing to surface, especially those things that may be uncomfortable

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to us, that may make us feel insecure, or that may be truly a blind spot that

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someone is bringing to our attention, that we're willing to look at and see

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if we're walking a spiritual path, if we're kind of on this soul journey.

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Because we're always trying to have a better understanding of ourselves,

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so that we are continuing to grow and advance in our awareness.

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about how we're showing up in the world and how other people are experiencing us.

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And that's the beauty of being around people.

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That they're always helping us to see something about ourselves

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if we're willing to see it.

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And then, we, in our own way, find ways to be able to make the change.

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If we need to, and move out of the dishonesty to really wanting

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to see things as they are.

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And the trueness of, and being there for us to look at it.

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So, yes, there are non awareness, and there's awareness that we do have, too.

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This is what the Johar window shows, about the things we know about ourselves, and

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things that others don't know about us.

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And then that last quadrant, about there's things in which others

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don't know, and we don't know.

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Okay, I get that.

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But we're going to talk about that piece of things today.

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At some point in the future, we may talk more about it.

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But we're talking about more of the things that relate to the

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open, the hidden, and the blind.

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Aspects that others are bringing to our attention that we become more aware of.

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This brings up the next aspect of the dishonesty is the defiant dishonesty.

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Defiant.

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What happens is with the defiance, I mean you think of defiance, think of such

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things as resistance, maybe being more obstinate, not wanting to see or look at

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something, or willfulness, disobedience.

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You know, we know it's not the right thing when the people says,

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please don't do this, but we do it anyway, because we just wanted to

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see if we could be able to do it.

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But they're saying it's not the right time for you to do that.

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But that's kind of the quality of mimicking disobedient to what is being

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asked of you at the point in time.

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Then it can also, this defines, can be recalcitrant.

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That it can be something that is, has its tracks, you know, deep written trenches.

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Why we're continuing to move into a defiant.

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And I'll tie this all together in terms of defiant dishonesty in a minute.

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As we're thinking about the Jahari window, and we're thinking about

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what defiance means, it also can move us into being more argumentative.

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Because, again, there may be things that people see about us that we're not seeing,

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that we're not willing to entertain.

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And instead, we become as argumentative about it.

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Interestingly enough, the dishonesty becomes entrenched.

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Knowingly or unknowingly, our dishonesty and defiance that we have

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becomes more entrenched in its heart to be able to let it go at times.

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Let me give you an example.

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We live in a society where we believe it's okay to share quote unquote white lies.

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We think it's acceptable to do.

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Because everyone does it, they don't tell you the total truth,

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they kind of give you, they kind of puff it up a little bit more.

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And they're getting into giving you a story that is a little bit

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blown out of proportion, uh, to the reality of what really took

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place in that particular situation.

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And so we, we find that...

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With this, these white lies that we can tell, and that we have

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experienced, and what people are saying, because we sometimes say,

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well, I'm not sure that person told, told the truth, or I think they're

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exaggerating, or telling half truths.

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Oh, there's some falsity to what is being said, which then sets us,

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you know, our spider sense up and saying, can I trust or believe what

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this person is truly telling me?

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And I think we all want to be trusted in what we're saying and what we're doing.

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But getting back to this defiant dishonesty, you know, these white

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lies actually is a place that we need to begin to make a shift.

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And then you start thinking about, are there other ways?

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in which I get into a defiant dishonesty towards myself or towards others.

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That I know I'm being dishonest, or people have brought it to my attention

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that so, but I don't want to look at it.

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I want to be obstinate.

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I don't want to say no, because you want to save face.

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You want to appear good.

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Yes.

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We all want to be looked at in a favorable light.

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But we need to pivot, because at the soul level, This dishonesty is not

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helpful to soul progress or growth.

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It is truthfulness, is what the soul was wanting.

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How can it be truthful?

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And knowing that it's not always going to be easy, but it's worthy.

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It's a virtue.

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It's worthy of something to strive for because it's more an alignment.

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to the purity of what the soul is looking for.

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It's more in alignment to being what I've talked about in one of my past

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episodes about being more Christ like.

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And being more Christ like, that's one of the qualities of being more

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Christ like, is being truthful.

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When we are able to be more straightforward or more truthful,

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and know when we're kind of moving towards exaggerating, what went on

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in a particular situation or in our interactions with other individuals.

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Either we can take one or two paths.

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We can take the path of defiant dishonesty, that would define what

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we know is really truthful and clear about what we need to say and what we

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need to share with other individuals to build that degree of trustworthiness.

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Or we can pivot and we can move towards honesty, truthfulness.

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Now, if we came from a family background, which it was funny and it was, and

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it was great for people to kind of exaggerate the truth, we know where

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that some of that's coming from.

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So we want to keep the humor.

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We would just want to throw out the parts that are fabricated, that

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are not truly what really happened.

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We're doing it because we want to get in greater laugh or get a joke about it.

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But if we're walking that spiritual path, we realize it's not being honest.

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It's not helping the soul to get clear and to have greater attunement to

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what is real truly and what is false.

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The other thing is when we get back to this quality of not good enough,

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that is based upon some degrees of illusion and maybe even delusion

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that has been fabricated by these qualities, uh, defiant dishonesty.

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So the righteous retaliation underneath that is what I said in the last

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episode was this not good enough.

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And then on top of that becomes because we feel we're not good enough that

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we move into defiant dishonesty about what we say and how we say it because

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we want to be accepted, we want to be liked, we want to be appreciated,

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we want to be valued in some way.

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And what I would say to you You have to begin to know you are worthy.

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Your soul, the essence of who you are, regardless of the circumstances,

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situations, or the persons that you have found yourself in, the core of who

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you are is God focused, Christ focused.

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It is the essence that that goodness in you, that is, is

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there, is embedded in you.

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And sometimes because of all this caked over of experiences that we've

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had, we feel that somehow, that we are not good enough, or that we

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are somehow damaged in some ways.

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I'm not going to say that life experiences and traumas and pains

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and difficulties can't create some challenges with us in our sense of self.

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Self and our self esteem and this quality of good enough.

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But I would say also it's a judgment.

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And I talked about judgments in my episode number 12 about the five

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judgments that we tell ourselves.

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And that's one of them that we're not good enough.

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But if we're coming from our true source and our true self, our source is God,

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the I am presence, the Atman, then we have to realize we are more than worthy.

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They're more than good.

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And it's not about the enough piece of things.

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And we have to be willing to say, the core of me is good.

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Maybe some of my behaviors or some of the things that have happened

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to me hasn't been so great.

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I, I understand that.

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But the core of who I am and how do I begin to build on

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that core that I am worthy.

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And if you do not believe that, then you start to think about I

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am worthy, make me worthier still.

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I am worthy of goodness, of, of all the great things to come into my life.

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And if there's things I need to work on, make me worthier still in

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the outer aspects of who we are.

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But the core essence of who we are is good, is on a foundation of goodness.

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We are from God and we are returning back to God.

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We are from God, have an experience in this physical world that are teaching

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us certain lessons and giving us an opportunity to be more clear and

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discerning about how we want to speak, how we want to think, how we want

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to feel, and how we want to show up in relationships at work or at home.

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That we are here to learn certain lessons and why not embark upon that

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in a conscious and intentional way and get out of these little qualities

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that create barriers to soul progress.

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And the barrier that I'm talking about today is that defiant dishonesty.

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That we continue to be dishonest, and to the point of being defiant and stubborn,

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stubborn about it, and obstinate about it, because we're used to doing it.

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We're used to engaging in a particular way.

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We're used to getting laughs, or we're used to appearing

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very smart and intelligent.

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So sometimes what we have to do is check ourselves, and just say, is this true?

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And if it's not true, you say, I need to really not say anymore, and, or

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correct it, and say what is true.

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We need to work on it, because as I said earlier, these are white lies.

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And so, we think that they're harmless, but in the grand scheme of

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things, over a cumulative period of time, it's not harmless to the soul.

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The soul needs purity, and these white lies.

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Quote unquote.

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Create a stain on the purity of what the soul is evolving

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and trying to advance towards.

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in order to kind of unite with its higher source, purpose, meaning, interaction.

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And think about the white lies like, uh, mosquitoes that are

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flying around, or gnats, better yet.

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Gnats that are accumulating and flying around.

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And you're trying to say, I don't need these gnats in my world.

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I don't need these energies in my world, because it just

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creates more disturbance for me.

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And my ability to see.

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What I need to do and how I want to be in the situations that surround me and

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the things that come my way as testings and as initiations to say, to see how

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am I doing with this quality and what we're talking about today, a defiant

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dishonesty, what we talked about last week when we were talking about this

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quality of righteous retaliation.

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Well, how am I doing in that or all the barriers that we've talked about so far?

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So that you can continue to learn how to progress in your soul

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evolution to be your best self.

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Something to think about.

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Bye for now.

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Thank you for joining me for this episode on Mastering Life's Adventures.

Speaker: 00:23:53

Being your best self through soul evolution.

Speaker: 00:23:56

If you have enjoyed what you've heard today, I would be delighted if you

Speaker: 00:23:59

would share this episode with others.

Speaker: 00:24:01

Leave a thumbs up and subscribe to my Mastering Life's Adventures podcast.

Speaker: 00:24:06

Look forward to your joining the next episode.

Speaker: 00:24:09

Please leave any comments or suggestions you might have below.

Speaker: 00:24:13

Bye for now.