Merry Manifesting Part 1 | LQ031

Welcome to our love space, and today's episode Mary manifesting part one. I've done this one in two parts so you have a little time in between to try out some of these strategies and to plan out how you're going to manifest a magical holiday with the love of your life. Here's part one.

Welcome to our love space today. It's so wonderful to have you here listening from wherever you are, in the car, at the bar, probably not at the bar, maybe, who knows. I really just can't actually believe that we are almost in holiday season, as in, you know, always the Christmas decorations are way up at the mall. You know, I think people are starting to get the invites to their holiday work parties, and we're starting to think about what we want to do for the holidays. It's so crazy, right? That winter break is coming up for the kids. 2024 is starting to, you know, almost come to a close. It's just so incredible that time flies by so fast. At least, I find it does, although there's been some slow, really slow days lately. But anyways, and one of the things that came across in thinking about how the years, you know we're coming to kind of a wrap up here in the next month, and a bit, is that Cambridge actually came out with their word of the year. So this is like the word that gets used the most throughout the year and through social media, internet searches, things like that. And what it is is manifest that is right, ladies and gentlemen, manifesting is the word of the year. I don't think that really surprises any of us. They defined it as to imagine achieving something you want in the belief that doing so will make it more likely to happen. So really, that's that idea, like, if I'm thinking the thought, if I'm thinking about it right, if I'm putting my thought energy there, then it's going to make it happen. So it's interesting, because in the article, a professor of psychology from the University sort of shares the idea that, really, this, this way we're thinking about manifesting is kind of magical thinking, what we used to label as magical thinking, right? I just think it and magic takes place, and it's going to happen. So I don't know what your opinion on it, on it is, whether you actually believe that manifesting is a true, powerful way to help you get to the end result, to the things you've been wanting and looking for, or if you do think it's like hippy dippy goggle gobbledygook, hippy dippy goggledy goop, that's hard to say altogether, you know, but what I do want for you, and it's and, you know, it's possible, my my thought on manifesting, is that if You're has something on your mind, if you're intentionally thinking about something, probably into you're going to more intentionally put energy into it, and the more intentional you are with putting energy towards that thing and thinking about it and listening to podcasts about it, and getting more information on it, and maybe actually putting some actions into place to pursue that goal, then that is going to manifest something that is going to get you somewhere. And I think that's where, kind of the manifesting, really kind of does work, is that it gets you to think about that thing more often, and that's going to lead you to do more actions that are aligned, right? And put your energy in places that are aligned with that outcome. Okay, so whether you believe it is magical or not magical is just action based up to you, but I want you to have a very magical, wonderful stress lowered, not no stress, because I don't know that that's possible for everyone or every situation. But stress reduced. Stress reduced holiday season. This year, I'm going to help you manifest it, but with actual things. Or to you know, you'll start thinking about some of these things, and then maybe you'll do them, and then that's going to manifest you your magical holiday season. So the first thing that we're going to think about in having a magical holiday season with the love of our life is that we are going to prioritize the magic that we are going to participate in this holiday season. So this means that you're going to sit down and you're going to do one of my favorite things that I love to suggest to you all you're going to sit down together and you're going to brainstorm, that's right, you're going to brainstorm list out however you want to get it down, in black and white, concrete on paper, typed out in a phone, whatever works for you, how you're going to get out this all of the possibilities I'm. That you could possibly do this holiday season. So that means all of the things you've been asked to do or participated in in years past, right? And things that you've maybe seen on the tiktoks, right, seen on the Instagram reels that you would like to try out this year in your neighborhood, or things that you've been always wanting to do for the holidays and have never gotten around to it. This is all going on that list, all of these things. So, family events, friends events, kids events, holiday concerts, right? Like, you know, usually your school has, like, a winter concert, you know, whether there's actual concerts and plays or winter Christmas things that you want to go to yourself, right? Whatever holiday fun markets, I don't know, craft fairs, uh, tree decorating parties that you want to host. Also the things that you want to host and do, this is all going to go on to that brainstorm and you may want to do, you know, everything on that brainstorm. You may look and be like, Oh my gosh, we have 109 magical Christmas things to do in the next 40 ish, 30 ish days. And we're going to get to all of them. Every single one of them you're not actually probably what by the time you guys are listening, actually probably be more like, yeah, 30 ish days. So if that's you, and that's the energy you want to have and you want to do all 109

holiday activity commitments. Go for it, right? That's the detail that you are coloring in your relationship and your you know, Christmas family memories with fantastic go for it. But even so, even if you're like crystal, I never ever run out of energy for any of these holiday things. I don't know why people, why you're talking about stress. These are all delightful, wonderful things to me, all 109 of them. I get them done every year, and I feel well rested. Good job. I don't know that that's the majority of you, but if you, if that is you, you are so lucky and do it all. Do it all. If you are the person who's like, I feel I have to do it all. I need to do it all. I can't turn anything down. Well, we're going to give you permission to turn things down in a moment. But if you feel that's you, then it's okay to still try to get those, all those 109 things in but just by brainstorming and making the list and seeing seeing all of it out there is going to help you realize the amount that you're asking yourself to do and and not only that, it's going to help you be prepared for the things that might pop up, for the emotions, for some of the UPS or downs, the excitement, the rest in Between, certain activities that's needed it. Having this brainstorm is going to help you prepare for those it's going to help you and your LOL, right, the love of your life, to sit down and have a chat before the day, before the activity, and you find out that that person's actually hated this doing this activity for the past 10 years, and they dread it every day or every day, every year that it comes up. And that's why they've been prickly for the last day or two days, or whatever you want to find that out 30 days before that thing happens, or 20 days before that thing happens, or 10 days before that thing happens. And I'll tell you why in a second, but seeing it in black and white is going to help with that, all right. But if you look at that big black and white list, and you go, Oh my gosh. This is why we never get to go and cut down a live Christmas tree together. This is why we never get to go to the German Holiday Market together, or whatever your dreams and wishes are to do as a couple during this holiday season or as a family. It could be because it could possibly, most likely is because there's 109 things to do, and you've been dragging yourself through these 109 things, and so there's not a space a moment to add anything else, because the in betweens, you know, of these 109 things, you're just crashed out, you're zoned out, you're crying, you're stressed, You're getting in arguments, because everyone's prickly and tired. Okay? So it's totally fine to feel that way. It's totally fine to look at this list and go, Whoa, dude, this is too much. And the reason why that's okay is because, again, it gives you that perspective of why maybe the holiday season is not so enjoyable for you and your relationship as a couple, that's great, because then you can figure out how to tweak it from there, right? If you have no idea why we get all so prickly around the holidays, and we're just Prickly, and it's like, oh, well, I think that person just hates, you know, Christmas or whatever. And it's actually because of all of these other things that are happening on are happening. Or they're an introvert and there's all these pulls on their energy, or you're an introvert, and these, all these pulls on your own personal energy, and it makes you feel grumpy, you know? Now we can start to figure that out, and now we can put supports, and we can put things in place that are going to help you out. Okay, so holding that big picture in your head, some of us can hold it in our heads, but really brainstorming it, listing it out, is. To make it so much more concrete and real, and you will be able to figure things out. You will be able to now prioritize. You will be able to find peace in prioritizing for this holiday season, because then you can go through, if you're if you're like, there's no way we can do all these 191 things. Well, that's fine. That's okay. I'm giving you permission. You don't need to do all of it. There's most likely, for most of us, there will be more holiday seasons. And you know, we don't have to do everything every year. Also, some of the things are often open after Christmas or after news for a week or two, and you can slot things in then too that are also winter and magical, right? You don't have to do everything before december 25 or everything before December 31 or whatever your holiday celebrations are. You don't have to do them all before that day. Okay, so that's one of the things. It's going to let you see why you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed, right? You're going to find peace in prioritizing these things and really picking and choosing and having that conversation with your partner about what's meaningful to each of you and what you really, truly want to do to you know, celebrate and hang out and have fun during this this time of year, right? It's going to put things into perspective. It's going to give you, when you're sitting down and having that brainstorm, it's going to allow you to star things and be like, Hey, these are the awesome things we love to do. These are maybe the half do's or the must, right? We all have a few of those. In order, not just to people, please, but in, you know, in order to give everyone a little bit of what they want at the holidays, there'll be some things like that. So it gives you that space to have more control of your time, and it gives you that space to chat about these things with the love of your life before they just pop up in in your face, right? It gives you some connection time about really, how do we want to spend our time together? How do we want to make our memories together during this time of year, and you could even do this for summer, like it doesn't just have to be the holiday season, but I know there's always so many things to commit to, because schools do things and and all of our workplace things happen. And if you each have a workplace to go to, and you're not like me, where it's like mostly just me at work, right? My Christmas party is just me and a couple other entrepreneurs and coaches. So you can have that vision, have that big picture vision like so I'm giving you the big picture vision, and now you're going to be able to fill it in with your details. The second thing you're going to do to have to manifest this wonderful, merry holiday season is you're going to make your wish list, and I'm not talking about gifts. You're going to make a wish list of the things that you that you both need. Okay, so these might these are going to probably be separate wish lists, and then we're going to come together and we're going to share them and chat about them, because on this wish list, we're going to put our boundaries, the boundaries that we need from certain people that may pop up during the holiday season that we don't have to see any other time of year, certain boundaries we might have about joining in with the love of our life at a work event or function this holiday season, or A friend of a friend's function, or whatever is going to be an extended family function. What are energy drainers and what are the things that boost our energy during this time of year? Right? We're going to share that. What things do we want, you know? What things would make us feel loved? What things do we actually want to do? What support do we need in order to make this a more successful experience with each other, right? And what things are we dreading if it's in law, things Okay, we have a whole episode on that. Skip back. Go on back to Episode 25 I think it's called in sync with the in laws. You're going to want to skip back there, because that episode is really going to give you some good support, some good ideas, some good perspective, taking pieces, right, seeing everyone's point of view in the trying to get along with in law's situation, to navigate these family dynamics at this time of year, when, when we're kind of, you know, we might be have more expectations than we would at other family gatherings during the year. Okay, so we're going to be clear and honest in this conversation, okay, right on how we're going to work together and be a collaborative team, rather than being in a tug of war over the things we need to do this holiday season, and again, by doing that first prioritizing piece, right? We're really going to be thinking about what's important to us, and that is probably just going to lower stress right there, and that is going to help make us feel more like a team, right? This is also a great opportunity to, you know, rest back. Oh. On your shared core values as a couple. So I know we've been chatting a lot this kind of fall about values and aligning our values and having those shared expectations with each other. So this is actually a great time where we can let our values do some of the guiding for what we're picking out to be priorities that we want to do you know, for this holiday season and what things are going to support us. So for example, as you know in my relationship, that one of our big values is fun, and one of my personal values is I really do love traditions and rituals. I don't know if it's because my family didn't really have very many growing up, especially around the holidays that I just in my family, I took upon myself to make up all these traditions that we had to do every year, like when I was growing up. I can't remember how old I was, but I saw, you know, on like a and e or something like that, one of those channels that does not exist anymore, where they used to show old movies, and they had white Christmas on, like Bing, Crosby White Christmas. And I just fell in love with it. And then that became a thing where I forced the rest of my family, like no every Christmas we have to watch White Christmas altogether, because that's our family tradition.

And I did try to bring that into existence in my current relationship, that he is not my LoL is not such a fan of the movie. But normally what we do is we try to watch two or three Christmas movies all together. We sort of each all get a pic and a mindful pick that we're not, you know, making anyone sit through 100% total drudgery. And we try to change it up every year. So that's really important to me also, you know, like another Christmas tradition that becomes important and helps us guide things is, again, that fun and ritual is, normally we do a mega moment of love, right? A date night, of a big, extended moment of connection that is holiday themed. So for the past few years, we have been doing, there's a Christmas market in Vancouver, like a German style Christmas market, and we were doing that for many, many years, and I feel like we've kind of done it. We've sort of been there, done that, because we've done it so many years in a row. And so this year, we still wanted to hold up that tradition of having a holiday, mega moment of love, but we're switching it up. We're going to go to a different city. So instead of, like, three or four cities to the west, we're going to go two or three cities to the east of us, and they have, like, a little Dickens village. It's called, like, district 1881 if you happen to live near me in the Vancouver area, and they're going to put up Christmas lights, and there's some breweries there. And, you know, we're just going to walk around and, you know, and chill out, and, you know, and have some drinks and some food, and maybe do a little Christmas shopping, I don't know, but, you know, that's what we enjoy to do. And so like, when it's getting a bit still, when it's getting a bit mundane, and like, you know, last time we're at the Christmas market, I think

it was like, so cold, too, for us. For us little,

you know, West Coast rainforest people. It was like, so cold, but we'd also seen everything, and we've also eaten all the foods, many, many, many, many, many, many times. So it's time to switch it up and not just keep going back or not being like, Oh, I guess, yeah, maybe we're not having as much fun on our dates anymore. No, it's just because that dates played out, and that's okay, that mega moment of love played out. We're switching, right? We're filling in our mega moment of love with different details, and it's going to be fantastic. So also, again, this isn't on the list, because I just don't want to add too much more to your plate. But you know, if you do have time, do, do, do a mega moment of love, because this is going to give you that pause and this and and don't be afraid to turn things down in order to have that mega moment of love, right? Don't be afraid to be like, No, I actually can't come to this Christmas party, or can't come to this work function, or I can't come to your open house, because we have this scheduled, right? Because, remember, our relationship is a priority in life, and not just saying yes to every single social thing that we can think of. Okay, so that is our next step is to make our wish list about our boundaries and the supports and everything that we need, and to share that and don't forget that we can let our values help us in these decisions.