Identity Liberated | LAYC45

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Hello and welcome back!

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This is our second season.

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I'm very excited to be back with you, with some great new content

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and guests and thoughts and impact.

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Today...

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Kicking off on the theme of identity.

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If you followed along at the end of our season last year...

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You know I was in a transition period.

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There was a lot of change going on in my life.

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If you've had an opportunity to consume episode number one last week, you will

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know that I changed my identity also.

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Not the essence of who I am, but my last name.

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I went back to, I recovered the last name Alexander, which is the name that I'm very

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happy, very fond to have that name back.

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Because I was known by that name for most of my business life.

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It's who I feel I am.

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So here I am!

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Well, on that introduction, it made me give a lot of thought about how

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important is my identity to this podcast, and more important...

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to the Lift As You Climb Movement.

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And I realized that my name doesn't have a great deal to do with it at all...

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But it's who I am, my authentic, in the heart of me...

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How I show up in the world.

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My essence, my value, my expectations for continuing to become more

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and more of the best of me.

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Identity is a very critical component of lifting and climbing, because if we

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don't know who we are and what our value is, what our strengths are, what our

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limitations are, the good and the bad.

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It's really important for us to be very conscious and mindful of

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that, as we plan our own growth in personal development, and our encores,

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as I am fond of talking about.

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So that we really are clear about the legacy that we're

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going to leave in the world.

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Not wait for somebody to write nice things about us after are gone,

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but actually be present, and be the person that's influencing the legacy

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and refining it, as we go along.

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I just think it's so marvelous, to be aware that, just like using the good

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China, or wearing your best underwear...

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Living your best life is not something that should be saved

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for a time after you're gone...

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That you're no longer on this planet...

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But being present right now, experiencing it, driving it, celebrating it.

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That's what we're all about.

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Because the more that we are the best of us, the more that we

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are able to be a role model...

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To be a helper, a supporter, a lifter of others.

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There's a quote that I refer to in my book...

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Who Am I Now.

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That really kinda sets up this theme for me.

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And I'm just gonna take a couple of lines from that right now.

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But for those of you who wanna read the rest of it, you either will

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find it in my book or, go online and look up Marianne Williamson...

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A Return To Love.

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Two of the lines from there are...

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As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other

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people permission to do the same.

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As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

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I really think that sentiment says so much about why it's important to

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remove the limiting beliefs that we have, figure out what our fears are

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and if they're real, or if they're just thoughts that we keep thinking.

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That we continue to work on strengthening our confidence in who we are.

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But how do you know?

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How do you know who you are today?

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That was certainly a big question for me.

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In fact, it was such a big question in my life, a little over a decade ago,

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that I wrote a whole book about it.

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Because I realized, suddenly one day, in the midst of what looks

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like to the rest of the world...

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a perfect life...

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I had no idea who I was anymore or why my life mattered at all.

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I didn't know properly how to introduce myself, because I had no longer a business

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card that told me who I was, that title that, identified me in an introduction so

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that there was not much need to say more.

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Like me, like my friends, like you...

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We are in evolution constantly, and a lifetime of us being something for

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someone else, or being someone, because someone else thought we should be.

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Told how to behave, how to speak, where to work, who to marry, how to

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dress, what kind of house to live in, how many children to have...

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What was appropriate to wear after Labor Day...

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Who to vote for...

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How much money equaled success.

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There was a lot of...

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doing every day...

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Just being busy, keeping up with...

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What we thought was the way to achieve success, the way to be our most

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happy most fulfilled, most rewarded.

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And then suddenly...

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Wow...

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Things start to fall off that don't fit in there anymore.

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Maybe you've retired.

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Maybe you've sold your business like I did...

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Perhaps your significant relationship ended or your significant role in life

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as a parent, a caretaker, a teacher...

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Whatever your career that came to an end for different circumstances.

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Maybe you've moved to a new community, you're trying to establish new friends.

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Your routine changes after you retire or you move, or you have an illness

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that affects what you used to do.

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Suddenly all of the things that you took for granted, that kind of described you...

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Assured you of who you were and how you were going to behave and how

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you're gonna show up in the world.

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And...

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How other people saw you...

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All of that changed.

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So what do you do when all of the lines get blurred, and the

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pictures blend together, and now...

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You don't recognize who you are anymore?

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You have to do what I did, and what so many of our generation are doing...

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You take stock, you do an assessment, and you figure out your

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identity for who you are today.

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That's part of what I've been perfecting, and testing on myself, and teaching

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and coaching many others over the last decade, is this process of

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what I call the Encore methodology...

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Of appreciating who we are, and all of the stuff that has made us

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the greatness that we are today...

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Bumps and warts and all...

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And who we wanna become next, and reminding us of the foundation that

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we have on which to build and go on.

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I've talked about trying to figure out who I was...

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and feeling like I had been successful...

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but now I just seem to be kind of a ghost in my own life.

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When I then finally realized...

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Nope...

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I get this...

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I see this clearly as a crisis of my own imagination.

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That it's simply that I fell for the story I was told...

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That life was just going to be perfect when I retired...

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I grew up with Freedom 55 commercials that said I just needed to wear a

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polo sweater, and be comfortable in my retirement ... To...

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Uh-uh....

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I changed that to No...

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I'm going to consciously choose to retire, only from the things I

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don't like to do, and consciously do more of the things I do want to do.

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So I wrote a book...

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The great thing is my story's not finished yet...

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every day I begin to write a brand new chapter of living and living my legacy.

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I've already started some things in that legacy that I'm proud of and I

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wanna continue to do more of that.

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I've created a community, where women are sharing feminine wisdom

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and sharing their experiences...

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and not feeling like it's only them that doesn't have it figured out,

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or doesn't conform or isn't good enough, but that they can support

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each other and they lift as they climb, while they share that wisdom...

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and they pass it down across the globe.

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I'm very passionate about helping women get more rewards and more

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enjoyment out of their businesses.

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Having been an entrepreneur and still an entrepreneur...

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I'm really passionate about helping others to figure out that it's not

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just all grind and stress and fear..

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But set up properly, a business can give you a lot of rewards, a lot of enjoyment

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and position you to help others...

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to lift them as you climb.

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Because we know, if you're not financially stable or successful, it's harder to do

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as many things as you might want to do.

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Mentoring is another way that I volunteered and took on a leadership

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role in Rotary International.

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Which for me has a lasting legacy for sure, to have been

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part of an organization which has such a global footprint.

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I hope that I'm leaving a very positive legacy.

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I consciously mentor men and women of all ages...

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including my grandchildren.

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At the same time, the reciprocity of mentoring is fabulous, because

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I'm also learning from them.

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Which again, adds to my accumulated lifetime riches...

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for lifting and climbing.

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I started the Lift As You Climb Movement, and although in its infancy, I have

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a dream for that to become one day the lift as you climb foundation, so

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that we are a contributor to economic autonomy and empowerment of women and

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their families around the world.

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I'm the leader of an amazing group and a chief cheerleading officer

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Women reinventing retirement on their own terms.

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And it's a joy to be part of that group because I can share

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in real time, my own learnings..

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And my mistakes?...

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well, there are no mistakes.

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Right!

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There are no mistakes.

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There are only opportunities to do something a different way.

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So that's my current legacy plan or part of it, and I'm not done yet.

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I am a woman in progress and I'm glad of it because...

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I feel like if, if I've reached a point where I think I've figured everything

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out and there's nothing left for me to learn or room for me to grow, then...

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then what's the point, right?

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So if some of my story and my journey resonates with you, then

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I know that you're starting to see that once you know who you are and

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who you want to become next, all the decisions flow up from there.

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And there is a methodology and there is a process that makes it a

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little easier to get to there, but you can start very simply by just

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asking yourself a few questions:

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What's meaningful to you?

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What sets your heart to smiling?

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What lights you up?

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Who and what really matter to you now?

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Not the past, not anybody else's script for what they think

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is important, but for you.

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Who, what, really matters?

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Why does your life matter?

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How will you be remembered?

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And remember, it's not too late to change that because it is never too

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late to start to make a difference.

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So when you know who you are, or at least you're committed to the

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process of figuring it out...

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what I call my Encore evolution process.

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Then, then you're on track to be your strongest and highest self.

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And as long as you have a desire to constantly grow and evolve, you're

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just going to continue to be more for yourself and more for everybody else.

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Does it sound like a lot of work?

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Maybe it does, but what's the alternative stagnating and becoming

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dust or being that grumpy person that nobody wants to be around because

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you're always complaining and dwelling in past memories and self pity.

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Remember, you're not starting from scratch...

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You're starting from experience.

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So give some thought to your identity.

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I have a tool, that I offer with my compliments, that may help you to

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start to formulate the incredible gem that you already are and the

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resources that you have to start.

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I call this my personal capital evaluation, and I think it's a very

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good tool to help you take stock in a, in an objective manner what

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you've already got to build on.

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As I say, you're not starting from scratch.

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You're starting from experience and a lifetime of tacit knowledge.

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Very easy to find this, go to the URL..

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My encore.me.

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And you'll get the free download.

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It's a PDF and you can fill it in.

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And I really recommend, just like going to your financial advisor, that you do

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a regular review of this document, and just marvel at the fortune that you are!

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I'll put the link in the show notes for you.

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Before I sign off today, I just like to remind you that life is your stage,

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and you are the script writer, the director, and the executive producer

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of every role that you experience.

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Even if you think that somebody else is directing the show.

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That's the choice that you need to make, who you're going

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to take the direction from.

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So each time you choose to step into the spotlight and star in your life,

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you become more of the best of you.

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As you build your success ladder, on your terms, you empower others to build theirs.

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As Maryanne Williamson says...

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You liberate others.

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If you need help to create your next Encore plan, visit

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The Encore Catalyst.com.

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There's lots of resources there to help you get started today.

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I'd like your help.

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If you have suggestions for topics, or guests to interview

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for this podcast, please email me, hello@theencorecatalyst.com.