Caregiver, Mess, and Masterpiece with Lisa Zawrotny | LAYC24

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Hello again, my online friends!

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It's been all about friends in the last couple of weeks and episodes.

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Not that they're ever very far from my heart, or my thoughts.

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Today I have genuine pleasure to interview a new friend.

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Someone new in my Vitamin G corral.

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In the last episode, which honored National Best Friends day, I

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talked about the impact of COVID on friendships and relationships.

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One of the benefits of being in lockdown, and enduring the pandemic inconveniences,

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was having some time, and necessity actually, as entrepreneurs, to reach

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out and expand our circles and to connect with people in a different way.

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It's because of that..

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I was inspired to create the Global Serial Entrepreneurs Summits...

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To bring women together around the world, to share their feminine

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wisdom, to help each other...

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Because that's lifting and climbing.

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And because of that, and another friend who is new in my world, I

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met today's guest, Lisa Zawrotny.

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The magic behind the Positivity Living Podcast, and a productivity

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coach with her business.

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Positively Productive Systems.

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I first want to say welcome Lisa, and thank you, thank you,

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thank you for coming in today!

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Oh Isabel, it's my pleasure.

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I'm delighted to be here.

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Yay.

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Yay.

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I have a tiny bit of knowledge of what brought you here today.

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What ship you came sailing in on, but I would like it very much.

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If you would just set up a little bit of the Lisa story and position

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yourself for the conversations that we're going to have about feminine

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wisdom, productivity, collaboration, and my favorite lifting and climbing.

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I would love to.

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Let's start with where we are now, and then I will bounce back and tell

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you a little bit of how I got there.

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So right now I am here to coach multi-passionate entrepreneurs who are

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struggling to balance their business and family and, It's because that's what

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I went through and I show them how to boost productivity and avoid burnout while

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making it feel simple and sustainable.

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And again, that's because that's what I went through years ago.

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I was a caregiver for my mom.

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I was pregnant twice.

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I had both of my children, cared for my mom, I had my husband...

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and he and I were trying to run a business.

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All at the same time.

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You want to talk about juggling multiple roles and don't we women

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do that, so naturally with this expectation of it being effortless.

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But when we talk, it's not at all effortless, and especially when

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you start changing roles in your life, when suddenly I became

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the matriarch of the family and now, we're shifting it around...

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and I'm caring for my mother.

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And doing it in an unusual sandwich caregiver kind of way.

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It was...

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I don't even have words for it.

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I'll call it a dark time sometimes...

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I will call it an overwhelming time.

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It was also a beautiful time.

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I was able to give back to her, and help her during the golden years of her

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life, and keep her safe and happy, and my children were able to be loved...

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even if she didn't quite know who they were, because she

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was suffering from Alzheimer's.

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And throughout that entire process, I was surviving...

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not thriving.

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And when that time, as a caregiver came to a close for me, and she passed on...

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I had a choice.

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I was at a crossroads, and I had considered moving on to what I

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knew again, do I get another job?

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What do I do next?

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You know, it's that when we're always saying that, what do I do?

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How do I fill in the space?

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And something...

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A voice somewhere inside me said...

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Wait...

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It's time to clear out.

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And I started to declutter my life inside and out...

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Really open up to self care, that I'd been denying myself...

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Thinking that would make me a better caregiver...

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It doesn't.

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These are the points of advocacy, that I have now...

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I advocate for the caregivers, for the nurturers...

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For those who give and want to light up the world, but they give to the

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point that it's to their detriment.

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So once I learned my lessons and I managed to get out of it and find

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healing for myself and my family...

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I knew I wanted to help others do the same and maybe even help them before

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they got to the point that I did.

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Thank you for that very personal sharing of how you came to be where you are today.

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And, I so agree with you because setting ourselves up for this illusion that

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we can and should do everything for everyone, has been a lesson that I've

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had to learn over and over in my life.

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As you say, move into different roles, not the same all of our lives.

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We are constantly being promoted, reluctantly at times...

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And you also made me pause to think...

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Hmm...

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I don't think I know any really happy, fun martyrs...

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None come to mind for me.

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I'm curious about this decluttering?

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How, did that position you to go on and say, okay, Lisa

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doesn't have to be a martyr.

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It doesn't look good on her...

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Share that with us, please.

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That's such a good question.

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I've never had an asked in that way before.

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Well, for starters, the clutter aspect, was very obvious in terms

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of the physical clutter, because when you are in survival mode...

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You leave so much that is not essential, and sometimes

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essential, and you leave it out...

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You don't put things away, you let things pile up, if you will.

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Now that can also happen in your schedule, as well, and it did for me in both ways.

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The most obvious thing was the physical clutter.

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As I, realized I needed to clear out first...

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It's almost like creating a blank slate if you will.

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And so it's like clean up first before you start to add more.

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And that's what I learned...

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That was really the first step.

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Keep in mind that's when you're feeling that overwhelm, you might have

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an idea of where you'd like to go and it might feel like it's so far away...

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But it's one step at a time, one small step...

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My small step was...

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Let me clean up my own mess, let me make sense of it, let me take one moment to

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care for me in a way that I haven't been.

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That creates the habit.

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I didn't know it at the time, I've since learned that I've since

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gotten certifications in time management and stress management

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become a habits coach, understood how it is that our minds work...

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but back then, it was one step at a time.

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As I started to clear the path and feel the difference...

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I felt encouraged.

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That's what I love teaching others, Because when you are in survival mode...

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You think it can't possibly get better?

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You feel so truly depressed by it...

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I love bringing the hope of saying...

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It's not going to happen all at once, but if you do this one thing...

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You'll feel the difference.

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And you know what you focus on you fuel and good begets more good.

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When our brains are trained to do this...

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We find it...

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It was just that one small step.

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I have a very vivid image in my mind's theater of times in my

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life, where I felt completely...

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I was in huge transition and transformation, and I felt I

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couldn't move forward, because there was just all this...

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Pile in front of me, a mountain of un-dealt with stuff, unresolved

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issues, relationship clutter...

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everything.

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So I get what you're saying it's not just physical decluttering, but it's mental

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decluttering, emotional decluttering.

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In fact, on that best friend's podcast, I did talk about that, as we grow and

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evolve, our friendships must also.

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That it may not feel really comfortable to think about it in

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terms, but in order to really feel good and successful and evolve...

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You have to do some weeding in your friendship garden.

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Absolutely.

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That gets into the idea of toxic relationships and things,

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but backing up even further...

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To give you a perspective on where I was coming at with clutter...

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When I first cleared out my clutter, it was physical, and I thought, I

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could help other people do this...

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and very, like literally...

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I did that as a professional organizer.

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What you touched upon is so important because the first time I

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stepped in someone else's home...

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To help them process this physical clutter...

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I saw, so clearly, how it was their head and their heart that was connected to it.

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And the more that I explored that, the more I realized...

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oh my gosh...

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This isn't extra clothing.

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You don't need...

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This is unprocessed trauma.

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This isn't books that you're never going to read.

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This is unprocessed grief.

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I started to make those connections.

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And I was so fascinated by that, I thought, the shortcut, if you will, is

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if we can get to the heart of the matter.

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And I guess that's how I've always been.

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I'm not a small talk kind of gal.

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You can mention the weather to me, but really I'm going

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to end up saying, how are you?

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And I really mean it...

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Go for it...

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You can tell me anything.

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So that's what I realized is...

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That if we dig down deep into that, what you're talking about, those relationships

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that don't work for you anymore, and all that, emotional baggage that we're

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talking about, that's the real clutter that we have to deal with, and that's

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affecting everything, it's affecting every choice we make, the energy that we have

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to tackle things, because really it's not time management, it's energy management,

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and our priorities, and ourself.

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Right?

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I saw that connection and I understood...

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It's so much more than making a pretty closet.

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I left that behind, I mean, I still help people.

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I will still help them virtually organize...

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But really, I would rather know...

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How are your relationships...

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What's your personality like...

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What are you still dealing with?...

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and How can we work around that for you to develop the

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life you truly want to live?

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Wow...

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I'm looking over my computer, looking at the clutter in my office, thinking...

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Oh boy...

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Can you get on a plane?

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So energy...

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Last name Banerjee, sounds like energy...

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My ears pick that up, and I'm not the expert in this area...

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What's coming to me is that physical clutter drains energy as a well,

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it's distracting, it's guilt forming.

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I can't think of any positive reasons...

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Why would we stay immersed in an environment that physically

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doesn't support us?...

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To be open and energetic, and joyful, and feel like we love

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ourselves enough to make that nice.

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Which sounds high and lofty...

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and I, I'm not trying to stand on a soapbox and preach here...

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But going back to the relationship part...

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The same thing is happening, right?

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If there are people around us, that for habit...

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upbringing...

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We think it's our responsibility, it's uncomfortable.

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We don't know a path forward.

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Obviously we don't push everybody off the cliff...

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But there are ways to reallocate those relationships in

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the priority of our lives.

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And that to me is critical...

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To move forward and grow.

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And for me growth is important, because if we're not growing, and

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evolving, and being the best that we can utilizing all of our strengths

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and abilities and experience then how can we possibly lift anybody else?

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Or be a role model...

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To be a trailblazer.

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Whether that's for our clients, or it's our daughters or granddaughters,

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or our neighbors, Right?

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In the community that we choose...

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Making space for those opportunities?

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Ya, I love that phrase, and I've often used that...

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To make space for what matters.

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I really like how you described this reallocating idea.

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That's so important because when people think of this concept of

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decluttering, in whatever fashion...

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I think there's a misunderstanding...

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That it means get rid of, get rid of and...

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I'll tell you right now...

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We have this tendency, as humans...

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Right?

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If I say...

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Give me that...

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You don't need that...

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What's your first instinctive reaction?...

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To hold it...

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Oh, wait, no, I might need it.

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I don't what...

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NO...

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As opposed to talking it through and saying...

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What do you want to do right now?

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And...

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What do you need to do that?

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What would be the best thing in your space right now to help you do that?

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And does that item...

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Help you do that?

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Does it belong there?

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Does it fit?

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Is it seasonal?

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You know...

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What's going on with it?

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And as you start to explore those questions, and you

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stay in question mode...

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So you're not judging, you're just asking the questions, and you realize...

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Oh...

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I guess I don't need this, or doesn't belong here.

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With people, it can feel more complicated...

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There's obligations, and family structure, and culture, and certain

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expectations that we take upon us.

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You mean I can't take my husband and drop him off at Goodwill?

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Well, right now, I don't know if there's still COVID restrictions...

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But yes, exactly!

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I just want to make a comment to our audience that...

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At the moment you're listening to this on audio, but very soon I have

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a plan to have this also on YouTube.

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And, when you watch this episode with Lisa and I a, you will see how beautiful she

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is and how beautiful her background is.

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But also you will see that this, flush on my cheeks.

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Isn't all cosmetic.

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It's the awareness of...

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Oh, that's me.

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I'm warming up...

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Thinking, Oh...

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I'm doing that...

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I'm holding on...

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In case...

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What if...

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and Wow...

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You just got me girl...

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Because...

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I'm all about preaching abundance versus scarcity...

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And here I am, I'm stuck in scarcity, because I don't

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want to let go of the stuff.

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All right.

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Lie down on the couch, Dr.

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Lisa is in session.

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And, you know, you're in good company.

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You truly are.

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We all go through it, and that's why this reflection is so important.

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It's completely okay.

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Remember too, that when we have certain actions that we do, like you

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said, why would you keep clutter around your office for example?

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Well, there's a number of reasons.

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Many times, people don't have a process that works for them, that

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will help so that they don't panic about a forgotten to do.

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Many people like oh...

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Out of sight out of mind...

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Well, if you have a proper process...

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If you have a system in place...

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That's what I help teach...

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Then you can set something out of sight, it doesn't have to be right in your way...

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Visually reminding you, and nagging you, because you're right...

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That clutter...

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it's guilt inducing...

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And it reminds you of the unfinished tasks...

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and our brains love that.

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I'll tell you right now...

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If I said...

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Hey, what did you do last week?

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What did you accomplish?

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You'd probably have to pause a little bit, maybe check your notes if you have them.

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Most of the time, the answers, not much, but if we sat here and talked

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about it, I promise you you'd blow me away with what you accomplished.

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But we don't sit and savor that, we don't celebrate it, and our

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brains, are in part a cause of that.

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Because our brains are like...

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Onto the next...

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What's the unfinished task loop that we have to get to...

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Let's do it.

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So, that is what clutter does...

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We are scared sometimes to put something away because we don't want to forget.

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You can learn new ways to do it.

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Okay...

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Now you're definitely looking inside my soul.

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Cause that's my justification...

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Well, if I put that away, I'll forget...

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That I need to get back to that...

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because like you...

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Like so many women, probably the majority, not the minority.

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We're spinning multiple different plates at the same time.

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We're trying to be a parent, a friend, a business owner, a community volunteer...

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Uh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

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And I do...

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and I am...

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My eyeballs are flitting around this room thinking...

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Oh my Lord...

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That's exactly what I'm doing.

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I'm leaving it there...

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To remind me that I didn't...

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Dot that I...

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Didn't draw the little heart on that...

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or, you know...

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Whatever.

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So I also feel if this isn't just you and me, I know this for sure,

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from my own personal experience.

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And I know it from statistics.

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Women, particularly, 50, 60, seventies, eighties...

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There's so much transition going on so much evolution.

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And I got one high-heel stuck in that decade, and one

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sandal stuck in the next one.

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I'm straddling, I'm doing the splits, and in between...

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You're right, if I'm not reallocating, divesting...

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Then wow...

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I'm going to fall over those piles.

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That's right...

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Letting those obligations, whatever they happen to be, whether

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they're people or the things...

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Drain your energy...

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that's what happens.

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There's so many aspects of this...

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Saying, listen...

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I'm at a point where I have so much to give, but...

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Who am I giving it to?

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Where am I giving it?

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How am I giving it?

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And...

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How am I setting up my environment?

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In every way...

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The physical environment, mental and emotional environment, my

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friendships, my support group...

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All of that...

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To truly lift me up, we want to lift others up, we need to make sure

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that we have the resources as well.

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You're so right, because you can't lift...

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If you're not strong enough...

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If you don't have the energy to do so.

PS: 00:20:04

And by the way...

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Who would want to accept a hand up from somebody that looks like they're going

PS: 00:20:09

to fall right off the damn ladder?

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I'm curious, cause this is really got me thinking, Lisa and I'm intrigued about...

PS: 00:20:18

How to really examine the various aspects of my life and my behaviors

PS: 00:20:23

in this way of thinking...

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How do you work with the clients, especially in light of what's

PS: 00:20:29

been going on with the pandemic,

PS: 00:20:31

Tell me more about what the question is within that question.

PS: 00:20:36

Do you have to work in person with your clients to achieve success?

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Or can you do it remotely?

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I do everything remotely.

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Do you normally work one-on-one or do you work with more than one?

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At this point, I'm primarily one-on-one and in a big part,

PS: 00:20:56

because I do productivity, perhaps a little differently...

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I guess we relearn what it means, I'm not about the hustle culture.

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I am not about it meaning to do more...

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I actually mean productivity is doing less, and living more...

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And breathing easier while you do it.

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It's about finding...

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What really needs to be done.

PS: 00:21:19

Checking in, reallocating...

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I love that word that you used.

PS: 00:21:22

Prioritizing and figuring out the most efficient ways to do things, and

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how to streamline, and how to make everything that you do authentic,

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and purposeful and intentional.

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So that's relearning what we really mean by productivity.

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And it can be very personal.

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I work with personality quizzes, and types...

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And we talk about things that are happening in your life.

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it's a very high trust place to be.

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But once you do this work...

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It changes the game for how you approach everything else.

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Well you're certainly making me think about the oft used label for busy

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women and that were multitaskers.

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Okay.

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What are you going to say about that?

PS: 00:22:09

Uh, ho how much time do you have?

PS: 00:22:10

No...

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We'll make it quick...

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But we'll make it effective, right?

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That's what I'm all about.

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Let me put a place holder invitation here, cause I can...

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I think we should have a whole interview conversation if you

PS: 00:22:26

will, about that label...

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Multi-tasker, because it has been a badge of pride.

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For women for decades.

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And you know what?

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That pin on the back of that badge has been pricking me for a long time.

PS: 00:22:47

So let's talk about that in more depth...

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But today, summary on your thoughts on that.

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We can absolutely dig into this another time.

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Summary and my thoughts for right now.

PS: 00:22:58

Multitasking in the way that we think of it...

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Is somewhat debunked, and let me tell you why...

PS: 00:23:05

what our brains are always doing, are task switching.

PS: 00:23:09

depending upon the task, you can switch easily.

PS: 00:23:13

For example, if you are walking...

PS: 00:23:15

And you mostly have it down...

PS: 00:23:17

the way I trip, sometimes I wonder if I still have to work on it,

PS: 00:23:20

but most of the time you're like, I got the walking thing down...

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I know where I'm going, maybe I'm going on a daily walk.

PS: 00:23:27

I'm good to go.

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You can talk to someone else, listen to a podcast.

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You know what I mean?

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So then what you're doing is...

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you're matching up tasks and doing them simultaneously.

PS: 00:23:40

But...

PS: 00:23:41

You notice how..

PS: 00:23:42

When you're driving in a car, and you're listening to a podcast to

PS: 00:23:45

the radio, something like that...

PS: 00:23:47

And then there's traffic up ahead, or an accident, or something's happening...

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What do you do?

PS: 00:23:52

You turn down the radio, right?

PS: 00:23:54

Because you need to focus.

PS: 00:23:55

Want you to think about that task match up, in everything that you do...

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and the more we try to do simultaneous tasks...

PS: 00:24:04

The more our brains, which work in sequential fashion, not simultaneous.

PS: 00:24:09

That means we have to switch.

PS: 00:24:11

When they're tasks that really need our focus...

PS: 00:24:14

Or are draining our energy in some way, which can be a combination of things...

PS: 00:24:18

We lose energy and focus every single time.

PS: 00:24:23

There's research that shows...

PS: 00:24:25

20 minutes...

PS: 00:24:26

When you switch a task, and you try to get back to something you were doing,

PS: 00:24:29

that you've lost 20 minutes right there.

PS: 00:24:31

If you get interrupted three times, you've lost an hour.

PS: 00:24:36

There's so much to this.

PS: 00:24:37

So can we multitask?

PS: 00:24:39

Yes.

PS: 00:24:40

Do we want to?

PS: 00:24:42

That's the question!

PS: 00:24:43

Another aspect of the re-learning or productivity...

PS: 00:24:48

in my vernacular with the Encore Catalyst, I talk about writing the script, for

PS: 00:24:55

the next and best part of your life.

PS: 00:24:58

And so that would definitely be an important aspect of

PS: 00:25:02

rewriting that script...

PS: 00:25:04

That no...

PS: 00:25:05

I'm not a hero if I say I can multitask, and do 10 things at a time and not

PS: 00:25:10

drop any plates and break them.

PS: 00:25:13

BS girls, BS, it's not the most productive thing, and if

PS: 00:25:19

I understand you correctly...

PS: 00:25:21

It's also not the healthiest thing for us.

PS: 00:25:24

Is that right?

PS: 00:25:25

Yeah, I would say that because when we're forcing the multitasking, and

PS: 00:25:29

we're draining our energy and it's not working, and then we're making

PS: 00:25:32

mistakes, then that increases our stress.

PS: 00:25:35

The minute you add to that stress response, and you keep triggering it...

PS: 00:25:40

You're going to have wellness issues, for sure.

PS: 00:25:43

My mother's voice just appeared in my head.

PS: 00:25:47

Unfortunately my mother has left this planet many years too early, but

PS: 00:25:52

she always said haste makes waste.

PS: 00:25:56

Yeah, that was a good one, and there's a reason for that.

PS: 00:25:59

When we rush, and we're trying to do multiple things at once...

PS: 00:26:04

We think it's efficient...

PS: 00:26:05

And a lot of times, you had to go back and redo something, fix a problem.

PS: 00:26:09

So how was that productive?...

PS: 00:26:11

That's really the question.

PS: 00:26:13

Absolutely...

PS: 00:26:14

Wow.

PS: 00:26:15

Okay.

PS: 00:26:16

Because I'm a newbie podcaster.

PS: 00:26:19

I'm always excited to share this experience and learn

PS: 00:26:24

from other podcasters...

PS: 00:26:26

What inspired you to start your podcast?

PS: 00:26:31

Well for starters, it is a wonderful way to get the message across of

PS: 00:26:36

hope of encouragement of bottom line, whatever it is you're trying to do.

PS: 00:26:41

It doesn't have to be that complicated...

PS: 00:26:43

We love to complicate things...

PS: 00:26:45

and I want to encourage that, and have fun while we're doing it.

PS: 00:26:49

But more importantly, and this actually leads back to productivity,

PS: 00:26:53

especially as entrepreneurs...

PS: 00:26:56

I love having conversations with people and talking with people.

PS: 00:27:00

And so when you want to put your content out there, when you want

PS: 00:27:04

to share your wisdom freely, there are different platforms you can do.

PS: 00:27:09

I try a blog at first because someone said, Hey, you need to have a blog.

PS: 00:27:13

And that was the sound of dust on my blog...

PS: 00:27:17

Because I ignored it and I wouldn't write.

PS: 00:27:19

And it's like...

PS: 00:27:19

I'm a fine writer.

PS: 00:27:20

I'm an okay writer, but I didn't love it.

PS: 00:27:25

Talking on podcasts, having conversations with women like you.

PS: 00:27:29

Oh my gosh.

PS: 00:27:30

It's just the best.

PS: 00:27:32

So I leaned into the thing that I love, to achieve the thing that

PS: 00:27:37

I want to do supports my why.

PS: 00:27:40

I am so glad that you did, and there's no dust on your podcast I, um, I have a crush

PS: 00:27:51

on you on your style, your conversational style, your voice is so inviting.

PS: 00:27:58

I love the guests that you choose.

PS: 00:28:00

So to all of my audience, I encourage you to follow Lisa's

PS: 00:28:06

Positively Living Podcast, and I'll put the link in the show notes.

PS: 00:28:12

Before we wrap today, but I've already got...

PS: 00:28:15

You heard me, everybody out there in the world...

PS: 00:28:18

I have a commitment from Lisa to come back...

PS: 00:28:20

We have some things to talk about.

PS: 00:28:22

And before we wrap up, I have a question for you that I like to ask, and that

PS: 00:28:30

is, will you share something about Lisa that we probably can't find on Google?

PS: 00:28:39

Well, I'm trying to decide between two things that I've done in the past, and

PS: 00:28:47

I'm going to go for the less obvious one.

PS: 00:28:50

The obvious one, just as a bonus was the fact that I worked as a voice talent

PS: 00:28:54

ago, and I don't know if you could...

PS: 00:28:56

No!!!

PS: 00:28:59

I feel validated!

PS: 00:29:04

But the one that I thought would make the most sense today is the

PS: 00:29:07

fact that I used to do martial arts.

PS: 00:29:08

I studied TaeKwonDo for 4 years.

PS: 00:29:11

Again, something else for me to crush on.

PS: 00:29:15

Cause it's still on my list.

PS: 00:29:17

I am no longer calling it my bucket list.

PS: 00:29:20

It's my epic shit list.

PS: 00:29:24

And I am going to pursue something I've I always said I wanted to

PS: 00:29:30

another famous podcast title from our friend, Liz Sumner from the

PS: 00:29:35

Global Serial Entrepreneurs Summit.

PS: 00:29:37

Her podcast is...

PS: 00:29:39

I always wanted to and so that's what I am in pursuit of doing now.

PS: 00:29:45

Okay.

PS: 00:29:46

But see...

PS: 00:29:47

I'm always surprised when my guests say the answer to the question cause

PS: 00:29:52

like...Hmm...Didn't see that coming.

PS: 00:29:55

It's a great question, love it!

PS: 00:29:59

Cool.

PS: 00:30:00

In conclusion, I want to thank you again.

PS: 00:30:04

I thank you so much for the really open and generous sharing of your wisdom

PS: 00:30:11

and your life experience, because that's what Lift As You Climb means

PS: 00:30:17

for me, that we have an ability, a responsibility, an opportunity, to

PS: 00:30:23

help out others, and lift them, by continuing to climb ourselves, it just

PS: 00:30:29

increases our influence and our impact.

PS: 00:30:33

And I know that's what you do.

PS: 00:30:35

So, for my audience, please...

PS: 00:30:37

Be aware of how wonderful this opportunity is, to be

PS: 00:30:43

introduced to Lisa, to follow her.

PS: 00:30:46

Go out there and find her in the world, she's constantly

PS: 00:30:50

dropping pearls of wisdom...

PS: 00:30:52

And she's cool and she's fun, and she likes cats...

PS: 00:30:55

I could just go on and on...

PS: 00:30:57

Show some love and appreciation everybody!

PS: 00:31:00

Support us, and we're going to continue to support you!

PS: 00:31:05

Lisa, would you like to say anything in parting?

PS: 00:31:09

I'll share my favorite quote.

PS: 00:31:13

Hopefully I get it right.

PS: 00:31:14

If not, we'll call it a paraphrase from Sophia Bush, which is...

PS: 00:31:17

You are allowed to be a masterpiece, and a work in progress, simultaneously.

PS: 00:31:22

Wherever you are right now.

PS: 00:31:24

I want you to celebrate all you have done.

PS: 00:31:27

Keep striving for more.

PS: 00:31:28

Celebrate everything you've done so far.

PS: 00:31:30

And even being here right now and trying to make the most of who you are.

PS: 00:31:35

That was the best closing I could ask for.

PS: 00:31:39

Thank you, Lisa.

PS: 00:31:40

Talk to you soon.