Empowering Entrepreneurial Growth Through Boundaries and Intuition with Wendy Paige Sterling

Catharine O'Leary: Hey everyone, and welcome back to kickstart the conversation and I am here today I'm very excited to have Wendy Paige Sterling, who is an intuitive business coach, who leads six and seven figure business clients to hear us and trust their intuition, aka their I can air quotes I can voice to create a business that aligns with their passions and the life they want to live. She is also a speaker and two time international best selling author, and has been featured on major media outlets such as NBC, good de la, and daily blast live. Wendy helps her clients to stop playing it safe, and start pursuing what truly lights them up for her bold and courageous coaching. So welcome, Wendy, I am excited to have you here. We've had a couple of conversations. And I know that, that we've got a topic today. But maybe you can tell us a little bit more about you know what exactly that you do, because the bio is great, but it's always good to just you know, get into it a little bit more detail about what you do and who you serve. Yeah,

Wendy Paige Sterling: of course, we'll Catharine, thank you so much for having me, I absolutely adore you. And I love our conversations. So everybody gets to listen in a little bit on some coffee talk, I feel like today. So really, my story begins, you know, really about seven and a half years ago when I thought I was living the dream or as I call the Facebook facade life of being married working in corporate having built a you know, two decade career in ad sales. When one day, the entire foundation of my life came crumbling down around me. And that also included my marriage. And so what really that essentially did was it really woke me up. It woke me up to my intuition probably for the first time in decades. And it also showed me that I had been living into a version of me that everybody saw instead of being authentically Wendy. And so what I decided to do was to kind of take a year to figure out what I wanted, who I was what lit me up. And in that process, I also decided to end my marriage, I decided to leave my two decade long career and to become an entrepreneur, or which ultimately was what led me up. I absolutely love helping others. I really, I excel through my own motivation. And I was so successful in corporate I thought, well, what the heck not like why can't I do this for myself. And so I started out and I built a very successful seven figure divorce business, having taken my own experience, and marrying that with the life coaching certification program that I took, and loved what I did up until a certain point when my mom got really ill and ended up passing away from cancer. And it was in that moment that I really realized that, you know, life is now I think COVID also taught us that as well. And, you know, the two sort of overlap for me from a timeline perspective. And I really had to take another look inward and really decide what was what, where it was that I wanted to go next. And once again, my intuition coming into play married with the power of the lovely universe that we live in and the energetics of that. And I just kept getting signs that it was time to move on. It was time to shut that business down. It was time to really step into what it was that I had already been doing and the audience that I had attracted, which yes, were divorcees, but they were corporate executive, women who were seeking to either, you know, create or carve a new path in their career in their business or launch something new. And so I decided about seven months ago that I was going to make a full pivot and got the physical manifestation of a phoenix rising when I was in Maui with my family drove through the fires. And that was the moment that I decided it's time to pivot. And once I did, and I made the declaration and I came out and you know, told everybody that I'm done with divorce. And here I am Wendy Paige Stirling, seeking to help entrepreneurs to really upscale and honestly to create a business that lights them up, because that's how the Abundance flows in. Within two months, I was able to scale to six figures that quickly because I had the tools I knew how to do it once I committed listen to my intuition. And something that we will continue to talk about today is really learned the importance of setting boundaries in that transition, so that I could really stay focused and stay on course.

Catharine O'Leary: So there's, there's so much to unpack there. So one of the things so first of all, congratulations on pivoting that way. Because I think the one thing that entrepreneurs that stick it out and kind of you know kind of go through the process, realize is that your first business is likely not your last, you know If you talk to people that have been successful in entrepreneurs, you'll hear serial entrepreneur. That term. I mean, the business that I started I pivoted from because it wasn't quite right. It wasn't quite, you know, lining up, I knew wasn't my end game, it was a way to get started. And so yeah, I mean, like, you know, as you listen to yourself, as you in, you know, what I always preach, listen to your clients, listen to your, you know, what's being told, and what people are offering you, then, you know, pivots if you're strong enough to make them, because that's, like, that's a big deal to walk away from something that's working, and working just fine. seven figures, like, nothing to sneeze at, and turning around and saying, No, that's not me anymore. And I need to pivot because there's no sense in giving yourself or, you know, structuring your life and in a business or, you know, creating something that you don't like anymore, and it's okay not to like it anymore, it's okay to move on from that. And, you know, you know, go and go in other ways. So, you know, kudos to you for having the strength to do that. But the other thing, I think, bears to mention mentioning is that you did, you did build that seven figure business, you didn't, you know, have the foundation. So, when you pivoted, you knew that you knew how to build that foundational base again, which is why you can have success. Now. Not the only reason why, but why that success could come as easily as it did, or quickly as it did in the second time around. It's not a case, not usually the case, that people come into creating a business, starting a business and within two months, are able to go to six figures as quickly as that so, you know, you you had the ability and the knowledge to really lay that foundation again, I think, if that's

Wendy Paige Sterling: yeah, I mean, I had the toolkit I've invested in myself, I have invested in mentors, I have, I am always seeking to add to my toolkit, because we are always in transformation. And I can tell you that the speed at which I was able to do it was a combination of really having those tools that I had gained and learned from my first business. And it also took a belief and faith in my ability to be able to do this again. And to do it again, quickly. It required a lot of hard decisions, you know, in that process. And the second I made them the second I committed to the new direction that I was headed. That's when you know, literally it was like the stepping stones just completely appeared.

Catharine O'Leary: Yeah, I love that just aside, like in you, like in your bones kind of like, like you got to decide and then move forward. I love that. And, you know, like I'm, I'm sure that it wasn't easy to to, you know, switch, like, you know, shots and one thing down, move to another thing. And you talked to We talked briefly about boundaries, so maybe we can go a little bit into, like, how did you not get stuck back in to that? That other business? How did how were you able to separate the two? Sure that wasn't an overnight conversation by any means. So how do you how do you kind of stick to your guns and in a situation like that?

Wendy Paige Sterling: Yeah, you know, it's hard. I'm not I'm not gonna lie. I mean, I, I ignored Well, I wouldn't say ignored I would say that I listened but wasn't taking the advice of the universe. And the messages that I kept getting and the messages I kept getting. Were all around, burn it down. I was in Egypt in November of 2022, when the messages started, and every everything was telling it was like clues just started dropping in, right. And so I was taking them in, not ready to make the leap. But I was I was listening came again February of 2020 3am in Puerto Rico, literally I had a song play on my on my phone that like I didn't even have the song up to play. It wasn't even in a playlist it just it's on my phone because it's one of my kids albums. And the song was literally burn the house down. Like it just it was constant. I was like, Okay, that was the time where I was like, I've really got to start paying attention to this and I started leaning into the possibility. What I started to notice was that as divorce clients and programs were starting to wean out right, like programs were coming to an end. New things were not coming in under divorce. New things were coming in under supporting women through entrepreneurship. And they happen to be women who either were divorced or going through. So it was almost like the universe was guiding me into this quite gently. Yet it felt pretty jarring at the same time because As it really takes some time to wrap your mind around it. But what I started to piece together was really the concept of what boundaries are all about. Right boundaries are limits, they're rules, they're guidelines that are intended to let others know like, where you begin and where they are, where you end begin, whatever you want to say and where the other person is, right. The analogy I always use is like Dirty Dancing. Right, Patrick Swayze. This is my dance space. This is your dance space, right. And so what I started to see was that as I was releasing the divorce business, it was energetically allowing the new business to come in. And so the more I started letting go of the divorce business, the more of the entrepreneurs and that focus started coming in. And so when we think about boundaries, so many times we think, like it's meant to camp to keep people and things away. Yes, and it is keeping the things that are no longer in alignment for you out, but allowing you to bring in the things that do because you are the one giving it the permission, right to come into your space. And I think so many times we get so afraid to use my favorite boundary, which is the word no, no, is a complete sentence. And it's terrifying for us to even utter those words, because so many of us are people pleasers. We don't want to let people down. We're afraid of what other people are gonna say we're afraid of the judgement, right? Most importantly, I was terrified of fully walking away, because I'm like, Well, what if I miss out on a potential client? If I walk away from divorce? Right? I'm gonna lose people. Right? Or, you know, I, I have all these clients, but they're not in alignment, right? I was giving a talk this morning. And I gave this example too. Once I had made the pivot. A client kind of snuck it snuck in a little bit. A client who yes, was on an entrepreneurial track wanted to create and shift into a new business, she had a very clear vision of a somewhat clearer vision, I should say, of what she wanted. And all of a sudden, her divorce, her ex husband started wearing his ugly head again. And she tried to pivot our sessions into about her divorce. And I had the inclination in the beginning, like, you shouldn't do this. And I was like, no, she wants to like, stop loss, right? I, I had that moment, right. I'm human, just like everybody else. And I was like, No, I can do this, I can keep her focused, it's gonna be fine. It's not she knows the boundary. Well, she didn't. And so I had to let her go, I had to say goodbye, because it wasn't working for me. And I could have sat here and been like, Oh, my God, she's gonna go on social media, she's gonna bash me she's gonna do she's gonna do that. No, because I felt confident in my decision. And it wound up being a mutual one where she understood, she wasn't happy about it. But she understood that the lines were being crossed. And when the lines get crossed, or you're doing work that is no longer in alignment, it felt heavy, I dreaded our conversations, energetically, I'm an empath I was taking in, like it was toxic, and I couldn't, I couldn't be at my best. And so what I hope everybody is hearing me say is ultimately what your boundaries are intended to do is to really allow you to show up at your best and attract the clients that you can help be at their best. And so I think, you know, part of what my goal is, is to really help people understand the benefits of boundaries in your business, and to honor them, because the fears that you have about setting them are keeping your abundance, you know, kind of like the husband, right, it's keeping it at an arm's distance versus by having them in place, that's actually what's going to bring it into you.

Catharine O'Leary: I think it's really important especially as you're going through and you're growing your business and you're coming into that, you know, space of abundance and you're you know, hopefully getting off that roller coaster ride if someone's are crap and then another months or okay, and you know, a few months are really great. It's when you're in that that cycle that we all you know, nobody likes and we're all trying to get out of the thought of turning away money, right or turning away a client that can you know, like, hey, like, I gotta pay the mortgage, maybe this is okay. You know that that's coming from a lack mentality. That's, that's not coming from the higher good of you or the other person. But I can tell you even from a corporate standpoint, you know, like there is not enough money in the world to work with a client that is not a good fit, because it will drag you down. It will end up eating all your time, you will get burnt out and like you won't even want to bother with your you know, the clients that you love because you're just like you're done. So being able to say no to It's a complete sentence, as you said, being able to say no to people that aren't the right fit. And also maybe making the hard decision like you did, or being able to let go somebody that it's just like, you know, it's not working anymore. We need to, to, you know, make other arrangements for you. Because, you know, this isn't, this isn't conducive to either one of us. You know, like, we had to fire clients before in corporate and I've had to turn people away before because it's just like, I know, I know what it's like to work with somebody that's ends up being, you know, that energy vampire and that person that you just dread, you know, getting on a call with so well, I mean, we got into business to not do that. Right. So,

Wendy Paige Sterling: well, it comes last. Yeah. Right. Like it. This is my perspective, right? Money is an exchange of love. And that might sound strange to some people, but think about it this way, right? Like, it's meant to be like that symbiotic relationship of love. If it is starting to, as you said, vampires suck the blood out of you, right, suck the life out of you, that now is creating money as a cost. And so what is it costing you to keep this relationship going? Because like you said, like, at the end of the day, it's I'm telling you guys, it is not worth it. And it's blocking you from another client coming in. And the second she and I parted ways, guess what happened? A new client came in. And that new client, I, my belief is that I wouldn't have gotten that new client had I not let her go, because she was taking up so much of my energy that they wouldn't have come in. And so I would really think about, what are your client relationships costing you? What are your internal team relationships costing you? Right? Like it goes, it extends beyond like, I had to let go of my VA who was working with me for two years, because it just wasn't working anymore. She's a great person. However, it wasn't working anymore. And so there's no hard feelings, it's business life happens. But if you're not entering into a relationship, a business relationship with somebody where there is that mutual exchange of love, right, money being the currency of it, it's going to cost you so much more in the end.

Catharine O'Leary: Yeah, and as you said, it goes beyond just clients, it goes to the suppliers that you use to, you know, the networking groups that you're going to, you know, sometimes you start with one group and is in is going fine, but you outgrow it, and that's okay, you know, it's okay to move on from that, you know, your team and so on. Now, are there are there certain, you know, kind of personal guidelines or boundaries that that you need to set up from? Especially incorporate? I don't, I don't feel like I had to have these as much because you know, you had a job, you had to direct report, you know, you like you, like somebody else kept you in check and accountability and so on. But I find with, with my business, I really need to have some personal guidelines around things like self care, or, you know, things like, you know, not working every weekend or like, I like I almost need to write down my own, like rules not to break for myself.

Wendy Paige Sterling: Yes. So it's such a great point. And I was so glad that you brought this up because exactly not having boundaries, right. There's an emotional toll, there's a professional impact, right, there's, there's time there's energy. And so I don't think that we necessarily think about the what I call it as kind of that ripple effect. Right? Like, I don't think we understand the ripple effect, that not having boundaries, creates and boundaries are actually a form of self care. Think about it, right? Like it's showing your self respect and love and protection, right? Safety, what, you know, most of us women crave, right. And so the, you know, sort of the guidelines that I would let everybody know, is to sort of play it this way. Right? Is, this is where the whole theme of intuition comes into play, to be honest, is if you have if you know what your intuition sounds like, what your intuition is able to help you do is to infuse into yourself the guidelines that you need to set right so those guidelines being paying attention to like your red flag early warning system inside of your body, right. It's also about you know, as you said, like self care. So if you are not taking care of yourself, that means that your guard is down you're not necessarily as a alert or paying attention. So making sure that you are taking care of yourself, you're carving out that time. You know, I think that we also don't give enough credit to our intuition as it relates to boundaries, and that it really does serve as our protective mechanism. It's not your ego, your intuition is a quiet whisper. It's a calm, gentle nudge, right? But really, what your intuition does is it really protects you from getting yourself into situations that could feel harmful or toxic for you. And so how do you tap into your intuition? Well, for many of us, it's a sensation, it's a feeling, it's words that we hear, you know, I have some clients who like their dreams, tell them some things that their intuition has been trying to tell them. So it really just depends on what that messaging system is. But what I can tell you is that it's not the loud voice, that's your ego. It's the little quiet one that is like, Hey, how are you? I'm here, like, I think we should do this. Like, I think we, I mean, the law. Oh, my God, I remember the last time we did something very similar, like, like, don't do it. Like, you know what your intuition is, like, Hey, this is so different. You got like, I got you in this, like, let me guide you, right. And so what all this will able enable you to do is it protects your time. It protects your energy, we don't put enough boundaries around our time or our energy, we give it freely. Can you imagine if we charged by the hour for our energy? Right? Like, think about how much time is wasted that you're giving people right? One of the things I hated in corporate was like, I was having meetings to about meetings, like let's have a meeting about eluding to have a meeting. Like my calendar was insane. I was in management. I was in meetings all freaking day. And it's like, when the hell am I supposed to get my work done? Right. So I started setting boundaries with my team, like, do we really need this meeting? Do I really need to be at this meeting? Can this meeting be 10 minutes? Not 30 minutes? Like, how can we be more efficient? And again, I don't necessarily think that I think that we do we take for granted our time. And we don't like we're on this autopilot system all the time of like, you know, we're the yes people, right. That's why infusing the word no. is something I'm hoping happens more? Because it's okay to say no, it really is.

Catharine O'Leary: And I think that answer your question. Yeah, yeah, absolutely does and, and I like I, I've literally had to put my own personal boundaries, like my rules, which my coach helped me with on the wall. So it's like, Wait, do Oh, no, I'm not supposed to be doing that. Because, you know, like, it's too easy to just say yes, like, it's, it's too easy to kind of cave into that. And I think that the one thing that entrepreneurs really need to understand and early, like, sometimes we feel like time is the only thing that we have, like, we don't have the money to do something, we don't have the, you know, the, necessarily the system set up to do something. So we just give away, I'll just, I'll just let everyone on my calendar, I'll just, you know, give away a free, you know, coaching session, and you're giving away your time. And time is one thing that you should know, like, almost never give away if you can avoid it. So it's a track that you can fall into, I think as you're starting your business to, you know, like, it doesn't have a, like a hard cost, but it has an opportunity to cost because you're not doing something else that you should be doing with that time. Yeah.

Wendy Paige Sterling: I love that. Yeah, that's so beautiful. It's so perfect. And it also understand that your boundaries also improve your ability to make decisions. Right? So learning to say no means that you are heightening your ability to discern and prioritize. And so that way you are when you're in that place, right, you're analyzing and you're evaluating at a higher level of clarity. And so you're able to really come at your work or decisions or even your thoughts from a stronger place versus typically if you're not allowed, if you're not honoring your boundaries, it's you feel depleted, you feel burnout, you feel stress, right, you're not in your highest and best when you're making those types of decisions.

Catharine O'Leary: So kind of some key takeaways here are, you know, no is a complete sentence. It's okay to say no, be conscious of the maybe the softer voice that's, you know, kind of inside you telling you things as opposed to the really loud ego voice or that, you know, my friend calls it the, you know, the angels are kind of whispering to you, the devil is the one that yelling at you, and setting up those boundaries or actually it's the Actually, the more boundaries I the more that I talked to kind of higher level entrepreneurs that are, you know, kind of in that 789 figure realm, they have some pretty harsh boundaries, like they have really strict boundaries, especially on their time, like no one gets on their calendar without going through the gatekeeper. And, you know, no one messes with their time with their kids or, you know, that kind of thing. Like, like, it's an absolute no. And I think that the more the better we get at that, to your point, when the the better. The more focus we have, the more we reveal, the more we're able to call in what we actually want, versus, you know, kind of some of the things that we don't want so, so thank you for that. And I believe you have a gift for us today.

Wendy Paige Sterling: I do I would love to gift your audience with the masterclass that I host that talks all about boundaries. And it's really about how boundaries are what will help you break through your your glass ceiling that you're coming up against, and to enable you guys to rise up and to start creating abundance and to feel empowered in your business.

Catharine O'Leary: And just I do believe that that is a special gift just for this audience. Yes, it is. Thank

Wendy Paige Sterling: you for forever. My for saying that out loud. Yes, this is something that I actually is typically something paid, I am gifting it to your podcast audience as a freebie. It is a you know about a 45 minute class that I would encourage you guys to listen to so many great nuggets dropped in that class. You'll hear some of them along the way that stood out for some of the people that had attended. But yes, special for you. Just for you, Catharine just for your peep. Thanks, appreciate. Thanks for having me.

Catharine O'Leary: Oh, yeah, no, this has been this has been great boundaries are something that are very, I find difficult to set up for myself, I can set them up for other people, no problem. You know, Wendy, you shouldn't do this, you know, or, you know, you should, you know, do other things. But like, you know, coming, you know, inside my own jar, I can't read my own labels. So, sometimes it's good to be reminded about that. And I will be definitely checking out the masterclass. So I can always do better at this. So, thank you for that everyone. Those that link will be in the show notes for you. And, Wendy, any final words of wisdom for the audience?

Wendy Paige Sterling: You know, I think the last thing that I will say to everybody is the best way that you can wrap your mind around setting boundaries is approaching them as the CEO of your business, and not a coach or a director or a manager, right. Even when you are in that role in corporate, you are still the CEO of your job description. So approach, approach boundaries as though you are the CEO instead of you know, whatever your title is for for your organization. So that's what I believe everybody with it makes it a lot easier when you step into that into those shoes.

Catharine O'Leary: Exactly. And all entrepreneurs really should be treating themselves as CEOs and running their businesses as CEOs. Because you you need you know, you need to start delegating out and and setting those boundaries and doing the stuff that you love and delegating the rest. So thank you, Wendy. And for everyone listening out there. Remember to stay curious and ask a ton of questions, and we will talk to you next time.