Podapalooza

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Welcome to Just breathe parenting your LGBTQ team, the

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podcast, transforming the conversation around loving and

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raising an LGBTQ child filled with awesome guests practical

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strategies and moving stories host Heather Hester always makes

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you feel like you're having a cozy chat. Wherever you are on

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this journey right now, in this moment in time, you are not

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alone. And here is Heather for this week's amazing episode

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Welcome to Just breathe, I am so glad you are here today. So

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during my little break in December, that I took to just

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enjoy being home with my kids and having Connor and Isabel

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home from college and just doing a lot of our fun, traditional

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things that we do and really just taking time to breathe. I

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attended an event on December 18. That was an online event

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called PATA palooza. And a friend of mine was one of the

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people running it Michelle Abraham. And I thought, well,

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this will be a good opportunity. This sounds like a fun, just a

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fun opportunity, really. So why not? Why not do this. So I

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really, you know, kind of going into it had no idea what I'd

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signed myself out for. But oh, my goodness, did it turn out to

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be a really, really cool event. So during the course of the day,

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I had the opportunity to interview two different people

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for the podcast from my podcast. So the interviews that I got to

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do, we're a little different than my typical style, they were

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a little more rapid fire and kind of a quick get to know you

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and tell me about what you do type of thing. But I really

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found both of the people that I got to interview so engaging and

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interesting, and I really wanted to share them with you. So the

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first one that you're going to hear from is Amy's Wagan balm,

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and she is a transformational stress coach. And one of the

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really interesting things about her is she has a stress relief

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blog that I will let you listen to her talk about and tell you

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more about but it's really, really cool. And then the other

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person I got to talk to is Joanne light. And she really

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talks a lot about emotional intelligence and the importance

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of developing that as a skill. So I am really happy that I get

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to share these two wonderful humans with you. And I hope you

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enjoy. So Amy, I'm so excited that we get to chat for a little

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bit here today during this awesome Potter Palooza event.

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And

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thank you for having me on your podcast. I really appreciate it.

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Of

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course, of course, I think that what you do and what you offer

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is so interesting. And you know, my listeners are just going to

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find you fascinating. And I think we'll be we'll be clicking

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on a couple of different things here. So I first want to because

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we were just talking about it, and I need to I need to hear

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more about this blog that you just started. Can you tell us

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about it?

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Yes. Basically, my blog is a free stress release tool. It has

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the same accomplishment as going out and causing harm without

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any, any harm. So it's it's a writing writing tool, and it's

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called How to literally get away with murder. And I teach my

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audience, how they would plan outs to kill the person who's

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stressed them out. Now you're just writing a story. So

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nobody's getting hurt, you don't you're not going to jail for it.

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And well, the next time the boss tells you, it makes you feel

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awful. You can think about your lovely story and feel much

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better.

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Right? I mean, that is so creative. And writing is such a

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stress reliever. So why not? You know, a lot of times I talk

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about journaling all the time, but really, this is taking it to

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the next level, right?

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Well, because I've done as a teacher, I did a criminal

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profiling course and I did design multiple murder mystery

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type that's, I really do know about what makes these people

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tick and how they decide they're victims, how they decide where

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they're going to kill and everything else. So I'm walking

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people through how you would literally design a murder

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against someone you don't like. Wow.

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without causing harm. Without there's no

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harm involved. In fact, if your story is really good, you could

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always change the names and publish it.

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Right? Exactly. It could be a series of short stories. Just

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keep them a compilation, right, which started out as a stress

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reliever. I just said is so cool.

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Yeah, it's just to get that anger and that stress out. So

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you feel better. The randomness is to release that stress and to

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lower your stress level because I'm a stress transformational

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stress coach

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exam. Well, that moves right beautifully into that. So which

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came first the blog or being the coach? What is your, your time?

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The coaching is actually came? I don't know. I mean, the blog

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grew out of other things that were there before the coaching,

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okay, but the coaching came in first. Okay. So learns basically

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everything I could possibly know about coaching. Still being one

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of those people who has to learn everything before? Wow,

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I think that's a good thing, right? Being a lifelong learner,

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we just continually get better or wiser. And you know, what we

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do? I think that's so smart. Well,

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it's, it keeps things interesting. You can never learn

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too much. I used to be? Well, I used to have a company as a

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Reiki Master and running the bars. And one of the things they

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taught us with running the boat bars is to always be in the

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question always be learning. Right? So this is one of the

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things I bring, also to my stress coaching. I'm also going

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to be having met at weekly meditation classes for my, my

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clients starting in January one. So all of this is part of the

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package for either one on one coaching or group coaching.

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Okay,

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that's great. So can we talk a little bit about who you offer,

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you know who your ideal client is for coaching? Who you like to

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work with, or who you typically work with?

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Well, I I'm looking to work with stressed out professional super

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moms who have these horrible stress related illnesses,

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because basically, they're trying to do the workload that

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even the great god Zeus couldn't figure out himself. Mm hmm.

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And that's become quite an issue, hasn't it?

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Well, the stress, I mean, people, stress is one of the

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biggest killers around and has been for a long time. And people

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don't realize how serious it really is.

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Right? Right. Well, because stress is not tangible. Right.

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So you don't realize all the havoc it reeks. I mean, it is

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that's a rather, but I think it as a general statement, right?

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It is, you can't, whereas like you can see sugar, right? You

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can see fat, you can see that you're not exercising, but you

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can't necessarily see stress. Let's talk about that just a

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little bit. Because I like that. You're not just a stress coach.

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You're a transformational stress coach, for professional

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supermoms that is highly specific. So well, I

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want to tell them how to enjoy their life. Okay. Basically,

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it's been believed for a long time that the only ones who can

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enjoy the the awesome career and having the family or the man,

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but nobody ever thinks about why. And the reason behind this

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is that the men are doing a lot less work. Yeah. Okay, they work

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their day at work, they come home, they park out in front of

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the TV, watch the news. Well, the wife makes dinner takes care

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of the kids. Make sure everybody does their homework. I mean,

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she's doing double duty here. That's why she's not having any

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fun,

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right? Or why she's exhausted all the time, right or bizarre.

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And now, all these stress related diseases are creeping

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in.

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Well, exactly and stress at the end of the day can

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kill you. Oh, yeah, absolutely. It can. It is It's funny when

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you say that I have to just really I was just having this

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conversation the other day with my my father is 87. And, and he

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will always say to me, Well, you should you should read, you

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know, XYZ and why don't you do this? And, and I laughed because

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you know, he was he was a dentist for 50 some odd years,

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right? And I was like, Dad, you got to go to work, do the one

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thing that you love doing. You had all these people around you

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making it work for you, right? Your assistants, your office

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manager, you came home, mom took care of all of us, right? You

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got to walk in the house and sit down and be fed, and then go

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read. And then get up the next day and do all of that again. I

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like that. Just literally no, I'm like the the number of

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things that mom always did that you had no idea the number of

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things that we do in this generation of women. Right? At

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times 100. A right. And I said it is it is beyond comprehension

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for you. So the fact that I don't sit down at three o'clock

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in the afternoon and read a newspaper. I know it's really

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hard for you to understand. It's not possible.

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Where do you find the time? Exactly. However, it's a lot of

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fun to grab the kids and go out for a snowball fights.

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Wow. Yes. Right. Or I mean, and I think these are the things

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that you're talking about right in what you're doing that you

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are teaching moms that it's okay to do.

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Well, it's it's about forgiving yourself, because you didn't ask

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for this job. You were just kind of dropped into it. And because

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this is something that you hadn't planned on that you just

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were nurtured, basically from birth to do us. I mean, nobody

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even remembers where this idea came from. It's been passed down

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for so many generations. Yeah.

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Yeah. And I think it's, it is definitely beginning to shift a

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little, right. It's a little, but

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it's got a long way to go. It has a very long

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way to go. And it takes conscious action on our part.

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Would you agree?

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Definitely. I would.

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So how do we act in? What do you tell you?

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The first step? The first step is take a step back and look at

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what is causing this. Alright, why are you feeling like this?

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What what are you doing? You know what? Hobby, sorry, dude.

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But you're going to have to start helping here. And the kids

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while you just got drafted. So, you know, if we were on a farm,

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every one of those children would not be playing video

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games, they would be doing chores. Well guess what? This is

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the new farm children. Right? You're going to put away the

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video games, you're going to help around the house so that

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mom can actually have be the kind of mother you want. Instead

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of feeling like she's grinding your teeth and clenched all the

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time and feeling awful. And it benefits everyone for mom to

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feel better.

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It does. It does. So what is a first step that a mom could

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take? And I'm talking from like being like in the trenches where

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it is really like she is at her wit's end. And she's just, what

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is that first step she can take?

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Well, I guess the best the first step she would take is to stop

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expecting herself to do it all. Stop thinking that you can

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handle this mountain of work. You are a human being, you are

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not a goddess. As much as you may look like one you are not a

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goddess. And you have to forgive yourself for not being able to

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conquer this instrumental load of work. Li and check it out and

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check out the blog have some fun with that. Well, I

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was just gonna say I think that's a perfect a perfect lead

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in right to the not only the blog, but really I want

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everybody to look into what you do. And take a look at this

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blog. It's I'm looking at this blog as soon as we finish here

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so I can so I can learn How to Get Away with Murder and a

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literary sense

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and repeating to people this is a literary tool

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literary literary art. Yes, I think we probably need to repeat

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Like 12 more times, right?

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Please go out and actually kill someone. That's not what I'm

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encouraging.

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Exactly. Not literally, literarily, it's just a couple

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letters that are moved around very important. But just also go

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out just how what is the So go into your blog. So the blog is

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called How to literarily get away with murder? Yes, yes.

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Okay. And then what is your website? What is the best way

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for people to contact you?

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Well, personally, I think laughter is a really good cure

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for stress. So I've tried to use it in a lot of things I do. My

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website is helped me stress coach calm.

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It's awesome. Okay, help me stress coach calm, okay, I will

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have this all in the show notes, everyone. So don't panic, if

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you're not getting this right now. It will be there because

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I'm writing it down right now. Okay, that is very fun. And

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I just love to have fun.

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You do have to have fun. You really do. And you have to learn

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to laugh and learn to allow yourself to be human.

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Right. Exactly. And, and one of my yourself sort of breaks

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right? Well, when you're sick is because you're not taking me

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correct. Absolutely correct. And to learn to embrace the

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messiness of all of this, because it's, it's going to be

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messy, whether you embrace it or not. So just embrace it and have

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fun with it.

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Exactly. Enjoy, try to enjoy your life, make things more fun.

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One of the things I suggest with my clients is, as part of

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drafting the kids so to speak, is make the weekends about

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cooking your meals for the week. So everybody gets together and

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cooks everything. You dump it in the freezer or the fridge. And

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then little Johnny and little Sam can can make dinner before

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everybody gets home, because they just stick it in the

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microwave.

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I love that. I love that. And then it's a group effort to

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which I think, you know, has value in so many ways, right?

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Well, it becomes a family activity and it becomes a hobby

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instead of a chore.

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Right? Right. Yes, I

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know. Personally, I love my crock pot. Throw everything in

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and see what you find at the end.

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Right. The crock pot. Okay, and my new favorite. The airfryer

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that thing is magical. I'm just gonna, I'm just putting it out

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there. It is fun. Like, you're nuts. No, it's not. No, I have

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just been amazed. I actually put salmon in there. And I cook

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salmon in the airfryer. Yes. I'm telling you. It's magical. It's

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not just for like, because my kids of course my you know,

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teenagers use it for you know, pizza rolls and, you know,

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fries, right fries now that I'm like, what kind of like actual

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good food can I put in here and have it come out? Good, right.

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And

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not to mention, you can play with all the little spices,

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right? Try this this time. Try this that time.

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Exactly. Exactly. So I'm with you a big fan my crock pot, my

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airfryer it's all good. So,

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and you can cook multiple meals in one shot, which is what makes

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it even better.

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Absolutely. Absolutely. And, and there. I think there's a piece

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of that too. Or the kids are like, Oh, this is kind of fun. I

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want to I want to help with this. How are you doing this?

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The sound? You know? Right. So

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I mean, it's not like baking, okay, when you're cooking, you

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can play with spices. You can play with a lot of the things

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when you bake. There's only so much you can do. Right. I

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learned this the hard way as a child, actually, because I mixed

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up the salt the sugar when I was making a cake. Oh,

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oh, I'm sorry. Huh?

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What was not edible? No,

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I would not think so. It was probably really pretty, but yet

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not edible. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, this is how we learn.

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Right? I'm sure you never did that again.

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Oh, yeah. It's it's all about discovering new things. It's all

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about living the adventure.

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Is it totally is as that's so funny. Oh my gosh. Well, Amy,

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thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for thank you

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so much for having me. I really appreciate the talk with you.

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I know me too. Absolutely. And I'm going to jump off of here

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and and go check out Have your your blog out and your website

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out. I'm so excited. And I know my listeners will too, because

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this is just awesome. So

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I know they'll get a good laugh from the blog. It's it's really

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funny, it goes into real details on how to design you're getting

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rid of the first new stresses you out. So as long as you don't

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follow through with it, it's all good.

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That's right, exactly. And I think that's the disclaimer here

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is do not follow through with this physically, this is

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literally to write away your stress. Alright, Amy will enjoy

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the rest of today. And this awesome event. And I'm sure I

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hope we will connect sometime down the road.

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Oh, I would absolutely love that. Okay, wonderful. Thank you

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very much.

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You are welcome. Bye. Bye. So Joanne, I am very excited to

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meet you and to learn about you and learn about what you do. I

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was so interested reading your, your short bio, with lots of

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experience with parents and with kids and with coaching. And so I

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am hoping that you might just share with us what you do and

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what kind of brought you into what you're doing now.

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Okay, sure that that's a fair question. I right now, my focus

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is to coach parents, particularly if tweens and

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teens, and I love working with parents of kids that age,

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because everyone sort of has this bad rap view of teenagers,

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you know, there's sort of a societal wholesale view,

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although I think it's changing a little that teenagers are

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impulsive and rash and nasty and disrespectful. And, sure there

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is that side to all of them at some times. But I think that

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they are the most interesting human beings, they and their

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brains are constantly on fire and changing. So and I came to

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do parents because well, I spent 30 some odd years in higher

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education. I was an educator, and administrator, a counselor.

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And when I retired, I decided coaching was a good thing for

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me. Because I like working with people and doing sort of

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passionate kind of work. And right now, I'm working with

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parents, because I think we need to really give all we all need

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the skills of emotional intelligence, how to be a good

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listener, why those things are important to be good parent to

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being available parent and not. It's not all it's not about you,

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and to really share that with parents so that they can raise

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resilient kids. And it's hard. It's really hard work. And I I

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feel that we as parents, and I'm my kids are adult children,

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adults now. We as parents need to raise the next generation and

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the kids who are teens today and preteens, man, we're gonna need

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them to be great leaders and great citizens because things

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are a little dark. Things are not looking so good right now.

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So I, I became passionate about the coaching and, and chose this

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niche because I really, I feel like I understand teenagers. And

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therefore I understand their parents and I, I raised three

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teenagers, none of whom escaped. Having lots of issues, my oldest

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daughter has mental health issues and when your child is

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different, it's just a it's a bigger challenge. So parents of

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LGBTQ kids have a, almost a higher barrier a higher a higher

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wall to, to climb over and, and jump down and be present there.

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Absolutely.

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And I There are several pieces there that I just found so

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interesting. But that is that is so correct. And I think that you

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know, as parents, we kind of have to it's part of it is that

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seeing our kids and seeing, okay, what what do they need

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from us? Right? So I really loved that you said it's not

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about you, because I think that's such an easy thing,

Unknown: 00:24:36

especially when our kids are teenagers, right to feel like,

Unknown: 00:24:39

why are they being so mean to me, or why are they doing that?

Unknown: 00:24:43

It's totally not about us. Right. And so that's right. And

Unknown: 00:24:51

I think I'm so glad you said that. I think that's something

Unknown: 00:24:54

we just have to like continue hearing from others who have,

Unknown: 00:24:58

you know, who are teaching that and who have been through it.

Unknown: 00:25:01

And then it's something we just have to practice like that. Oh,

Unknown: 00:25:04

yeah. This isn't about me. Right. Right. And that allows

Unknown: 00:25:09

you, I think to, and I think this is my next question for

Unknown: 00:25:13

you, is to really see your kid, right to see what it is they're,

Unknown: 00:25:21

you know, trying to tell you or what it is they're going through

Unknown: 00:25:24

or dealing with, or just being a kid, you know, just being a

Unknown: 00:25:29

teenager or whatever your tween or early, you know, young adult.

Unknown: 00:25:34

But I, one of the things that really captivated me about you

Unknown: 00:25:38

is the, your work with emotional intelligence. And that is

Unknown: 00:25:43

something that is, I think, new to many, many people. And so a

Unknown: 00:25:50

lot of us are just in that very much, either. We've never heard

Unknown: 00:25:53

of it before, or we're really wanting to learn about it. So

Unknown: 00:25:56

what can you share about that?

Unknown: 00:25:59

Oh, that's, that's a Pet Pet love of mine. I just want to

Unknown: 00:26:04

start with what you started to say about seeing our kids for

Unknown: 00:26:08

who they are, I think one of the hardest things for parents to do

Unknown: 00:26:12

is to let your child become just become who he or she, he or she

Unknown: 00:26:17

or they are. And that's very difficult. And I think if you

Unknown: 00:26:22

understand emotional intelligence, which I just want

Unknown: 00:26:24

to make clear, Heather, in my mind is a skill. You can learn

Unknown: 00:26:27

it at any time. It's a skill, and I think it's seems, has

Unknown: 00:26:33

always been seen as a soft skill. But that's, that's sort

Unknown: 00:26:37

of changing. There are a lot of business leaders, including

Unknown: 00:26:40

Amazon, who are hiring people to teach their employees, emotional

Unknown: 00:26:45

intelligence, and hiring people, recruiters now look for those

Unknown: 00:26:49

skills in people. And what emotional intelligence is all

Unknown: 00:26:54

about is understanding emotions, being able to label them being

Unknown: 00:26:59

to an understanding where you're coming from, and being able to

Unknown: 00:27:03

understand other people's emotions, and regulating them.

Unknown: 00:27:06

And as a parent, one of the hardest things to do is to

Unknown: 00:27:10

regulate your own emotions. And unless you really understand

Unknown: 00:27:13

where you're coming from, and where your emotions are coming

Unknown: 00:27:17

from, it's really hard to regulate those of your preteen

Unknown: 00:27:21

or teen. So emotional intelligence is really a group

Unknown: 00:27:25

of skills, you have to recognize them, understand them have a

Unknown: 00:27:29

vocabulary, it's not just about happy or sad, there are no bad

Unknown: 00:27:34

emotions, there's a huge 1000s of words that describe a

Unknown: 00:27:38

feeling. And once you label them, I think you can express

Unknown: 00:27:43

them appropriately and know where and when to express them.

Unknown: 00:27:48

And I think that really, then you can regulate them. I think

Unknown: 00:27:53

it takes all of that work, to be able to, you know, not when your

Unknown: 00:27:58

kid does something that is outrageous to explode and lose

Unknown: 00:28:03

it totally. Now, we all as parents have totally lost it at

Unknown: 00:28:08

times. No question about it or him? Yes, and it's okay and

Unknown: 00:28:13

mistakes. You want your kids to make mistakes and learn from

Unknown: 00:28:16

them, and you learn from yours. And you can repair all that. But

Unknown: 00:28:20

if you really are emotionally intelligent, you really, I think

Unknown: 00:28:24

can learn to be a empathic leader. Kids who know emotional

Unknown: 00:28:30

intelligence, who have modeled it, because they're who have

Unknown: 00:28:33

learned it, because their parents have modeled it, have

Unknown: 00:28:36

their I think, are more academically successful in how

Unknown: 00:28:39

many parents do you know, that just really looked at their kids

Unknown: 00:28:42

in their achievements as a measure of success?

Unknown: 00:28:46

Absolutely. Absolutely. I am. I think one of the really

Unknown: 00:28:53

interesting things that, you know, has become so clear to me

Unknown: 00:28:58

in the past 10 years, I guess, is that emotions, you know, I

Unknown: 00:29:03

think when when I was growing up, it was very much you don't

Unknown: 00:29:09

express right. And if you did express, it was a sign of

Unknown: 00:29:13

weakness, right? Especially if it were, you know, tears or any

Unknown: 00:29:20

form of, you know, sadness, or any really anything, right. And

Unknown: 00:29:25

so now, I think, Oh, this is great, because we're really

Unknown: 00:29:29

learning that emotions and understanding them. It's

Unknown: 00:29:34

information. So that being angry isn't bad. It's information. So

Unknown: 00:29:40

what is that anger? So like learning to ask those questions

Unknown: 00:29:43

of, well, okay, you're angry. Why are you angry? What is that

Unknown: 00:29:48

anger telling you what to you? And so, I think it's that, you

Unknown: 00:29:51

know, it's understanding to talk about it and then to validate

Unknown: 00:29:55

that experience and say, Hey, I see that you're angry. or, or

Unknown: 00:30:00

having somebody reflect that to you, right? I can see that

Unknown: 00:30:03

you're really sad about that. Or you're really, and like you

Unknown: 00:30:07

said, like, there are hundreds of words to, you know, express

Unknown: 00:30:12

to describe emotions, right? So

Unknown: 00:30:15

there's your, you know, there's totally exasperated, violent,

Unknown: 00:30:20

miserable, I mean, you can, you know, you can be this angry or

Unknown: 00:30:25

this angry or, or higher level of angry and you can learn the

Unknown: 00:30:29

words for all those different different shades of anger. And

Unknown: 00:30:34

you're right, you've got to look underneath, where is it coming

Unknown: 00:30:39

from?

Unknown: 00:30:40

Exactly, exactly, and not being afraid to look underneath.

Unknown: 00:30:44

Right? As a parent, as you said, to say to your child, I see that

Unknown: 00:30:48

you're frustrated, I see that you're upset, do you want to

Unknown: 00:30:51

talk about it, but interrogating them? It won't work? They need

Unknown: 00:30:55

to come to you.

Unknown: 00:30:56

Right. Right. And sometimes I think that they and I don't know

Unknown: 00:31:02

what your thoughts are on this. But sometimes I feel like, you

Unknown: 00:31:06

know, and we just say, Hey, I see that, right? I feel like

Unknown: 00:31:11

you're there's no energy coming off of you rises, because I feel

Unknown: 00:31:16

like there's you know, there's sad energy coming off of your,

Unknown: 00:31:19

your, you seem a little agitated, or you know what, for

Unknown: 00:31:22

them to be like, oh, like, okay, they may not even want to talk

Unknown: 00:31:27

about it. They're just like, Okay, some somebody hears me or

Unknown: 00:31:30

sees my ear. And then they can like, start going through their

Unknown: 00:31:34

process, and then know that you are a safe place to come in if

Unknown: 00:31:38

they need to continue processing, right? Or if they

Unknown: 00:31:41

need, you know, one thing that I'm always throwing out in my

Unknown: 00:31:46

house is, you know, if you need a professional to talk to, like

Unknown: 00:31:49

somebody that was not your mom, or your dad or sibling or best

Unknown: 00:31:53

friend. Professionals are available. Right. Right. And I

Unknown: 00:31:58

think that's a piece of normalizing.

Unknown: 00:32:02

You're realizing your emotions, right? Because there's the

Unknown: 00:32:05

stigma attached to looking for professional help less now less.

Unknown: 00:32:11

But I know when I was looking for professionals, for my, my

Unknown: 00:32:14

daughter, it was, it was not only hard, but it felt, you

Unknown: 00:32:18

know, I felt like I was being judged, because I was looking

Unknown: 00:32:21

for help.

Unknown: 00:32:22

Right. Right. I think you're right, that is definitely

Unknown: 00:32:25

shifting, which is such a great thing. I love that. And, and,

Unknown: 00:32:33

and you're definitely you know, in the line of coaching parents

Unknown: 00:32:38

and working with parents and teenagers, I feel like that's

Unknown: 00:32:42

very much about a parallel. And I just wonder if you could talk

Unknown: 00:32:49

a little bit more, just to my audience about what you, you

Unknown: 00:32:54

know, what you do and what you specifically offer? Because I

Unknown: 00:32:57

think that's something that people are looking for more and

Unknown: 00:33:00

more and interested in? How do we find this? And how do we, you

Unknown: 00:33:05

know, what questions do we need to ask? So we know we can find,

Unknown: 00:33:09

you know, a good match.

Unknown: 00:33:11

Right? Well, you know, that that that's a broad? That's a hard

Unknown: 00:33:17

question to answer. Because by again, no, no, no, no, no, it's

Unknown: 00:33:21

fair. It's fair. I. I just tried to reach out to parents, and

Unknown: 00:33:28

talk about the things that they need to talk about what I tried

Unknown: 00:33:33

to get them to think about their vision, what do you need? Where

Unknown: 00:33:38

do you want to go? How do you see your future within your

Unknown: 00:33:43

family with your team? Because it's different in every family.

Unknown: 00:33:48

I mean, I've recently been chatting with a mom, who I, I

Unknown: 00:33:51

just, I'm like aghast at how amazing she is who has one child

Unknown: 00:33:56

who at two and a half knew that she was a heat. So she's been

Unknown: 00:34:04

dealing with a transgender child, and her oldest child, who

Unknown: 00:34:09

is non, you know, non binary, and there's just so many

Unknown: 00:34:15

different situations that come up. So I try very hard to, to

Unknown: 00:34:21

meet parents where they are, what they need, how they've been

Unknown: 00:34:25

parented, because that totally influences how you come across,

Unknown: 00:34:33

or how you parent, even if you swear, you're never gonna sound

Unknown: 00:34:36

like your mother someday. You may sound like your mother, you

Unknown: 00:34:39

know, I think it it. It's there. There are generational patterns.

Unknown: 00:34:45

And so I just try to offer a confidential space where mums

Unknown: 00:34:51

and dads can talk about what they worry about, and what their

Unknown: 00:34:55

fears are because I think parenting from a place of fear

Unknown: 00:34:59

that One subject that I think is universal, and I try very hard

Unknown: 00:35:04

to always bring that into our, my coaching sessions is, it's

Unknown: 00:35:09

just from the minute that baby is born, I think the tentacles

Unknown: 00:35:15

of fear just wrapped around your heart. And that is, that's it

Unknown: 00:35:18

from that point forward. And if we can learn how to parent from

Unknown: 00:35:22

a place of trust, Heather as opposed to a, from a place of

Unknown: 00:35:27

fear, right, some will do better will feel better, because we all

Unknown: 00:35:32

worry about so many things. And your anxiety is so high

Unknown: 00:35:37

sometimes. And it's a scary world out there, there plenty

Unknown: 00:35:39

things to be afraid of. You have to you can't protect your child

Unknown: 00:35:43

from from everything. And I always think prompt I say

Unknown: 00:35:49

problem free is not fully prepared. You know, they all

Unknown: 00:35:53

need to face their challenges, and some more than others. So

Unknown: 00:35:56

certainly a LGB t Q. Child, and their mom and dad have a heart

Unknown: 00:36:03

or their mom and mom or whoever it is have a tough time. It's

Unknown: 00:36:08

It's hard out there. But um, so I don't know if I've answered

Unknown: 00:36:11

your question, but I think I just tried to acquire clients

Unknown: 00:36:15

who want to trust and be open and have an opportunity to share

Unknown: 00:36:20

what what bothers them, what is worrisome for them, and to take

Unknown: 00:36:24

them to the next place to the next level? Where they'd like to

Unknown: 00:36:30

grow?

Unknown: 00:36:30

Right? Oh, that's great. It sounds to me that you're really

Unknown: 00:36:36

you meet people where they are, you see them for who they are.

Unknown: 00:36:40

And there's a lot of it's non judgmental, it's safe, and we

Unknown: 00:36:46

try it right. And I think that is a eight, something that is

Unknown: 00:36:51

very comforting. You know, many people are looking for that, and

Unknown: 00:36:56

they're just not quite sure where to go, where to look for,

Unknown: 00:37:00

you know, where to find this type of support. So I love that,

Unknown: 00:37:06

you know, because for so long, and you know, really having a

Unknown: 00:37:10

therapist was your one option, right? So I mean, finding a

Unknown: 00:37:15

therapist, that was really a good match. It was hard, right?

Unknown: 00:37:18

And also kind of jumping through that or getting over that hurdle

Unknown: 00:37:22

of, I don't know what I think about this, right? I mean, now

Unknown: 00:37:26

I'm the biggest advocate of therapy, I think it's, it's so

Unknown: 00:37:29

very important. And it's it's kind of like, it's, it's just

Unknown: 00:37:33

mental health, self care, as far as I'm concerned. So that's my,

Unknown: 00:37:38

like, just in normalizing it and really encouraging people, but I

Unknown: 00:37:42

love that. Coaches, like you, parent coaches, and, you know,

Unknown: 00:37:49

coaching for all have kind of entered this space, because it's

Unknown: 00:37:54

a lovely mix, right? And it just fits, I think, avoid that was

Unknown: 00:38:02

there. So I appreciate what you do. And I appreciate, you know,

Unknown: 00:38:10

kind of watching this, this grow, and having it having it be

Unknown: 00:38:16

available for four people because I always say, you know,

Unknown: 00:38:21

finding, finding a therapist is like speed dating, you know,

Unknown: 00:38:24

it's really hard, right? So this is true, this is quite, quite

Unknown: 00:38:29

lovely. So would I be able to how would people find you if

Unknown: 00:38:35

they wanted to learn more about you?

Unknown: 00:38:37

Well, I have a website. That's Joanne H light li GH t.com. And

Unknown: 00:38:44

I love when people just email me and we just start a conversation

Unknown: 00:38:48

that way. And my email is Joanne at Joanne H lytx.com.

Unknown: 00:38:54

Okay, well, that's easy. Super. Yeah. Well, great. Well, that

Unknown: 00:38:57

will be I will also have that in my notes for our show today. And

Unknown: 00:39:02

if it's okay with you, I will put a link on my website so

Unknown: 00:39:06

people can can find you that way as well. But I think that this

Unknown: 00:39:11

is just a really, I appreciate you being with me today and

Unknown: 00:39:16

really appreciate it. Thanks so much for joining me today. Just

Unknown: 00:39:23

a quick reminder to make sure you bookmark my website as your

Unknown: 00:39:29

go to source for resources, information, podcasts updates.

Unknown: 00:39:36

If you are when you sign up for my email list, I have an amazing

Unknown: 00:39:43

list of all of my favorite resources that you will get

Unknown: 00:39:46

right away. So definitely worth it. I do not email crazy

Unknown: 00:39:52

amounts. It's really only when I have awesome things to share

Unknown: 00:39:56

with you. So take a minute jump on over there and do that. and I

Unknown: 00:40:00

look forward to connecting with you. Until next time.

Unknown: 00:40:05

Thanks so much for joining Heather today. Remember to just

Unknown: 00:40:08

breathe. Take a few minutes every day to calm and center

Unknown: 00:40:12

yourself. Reach out anytime with ideas, questions or feedback.

Unknown: 00:40:17

Please rate and review just breathe on your favorite

Unknown: 00:40:19

platform. Subscribe to Heather's website WWW dot chrysalis

Unknown: 00:40:23

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Join the private just breathe Facebook community to chat with

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