Self Worth and The Possibility Pages

Welcome to the joyful journey podcast. If

you're uncertain about what you really want or unsure how to be

a force or good, you know this world craves, then this is the

show for you. I'm Anita Adams, your host and guide to finding

clarity and creating a life you love. Let's tap into our inner

wisdom, access our highest self and unleash joy. As we raise our

vibration, we heighten the collective consciousness and

that, my friends, is the joyful journey. Let's dive in a joyful

journey. Here's Anita Adams here, your host of the joyful

journey podcast and today, I want to talk about worthiness

and how to amp up your self love and sense of self worth. So you

can create a life you absolutely love. I decided this would be a

great topic for the show after binging on the popular TV

series, Ted lasso. Are you familiar with this TV show? It's

about an American coach who goes to London to manage a British

soccer team. What he lacks in knowledge he makes up for an

optimism, determination and biscuits. It's an absolutely

delightful show, full of beautiful life lessons. And it's

a breath of fresh air from all the crime dramas and violence

that seemed to dominate the airways. There is one character,

however, whose behavior in season two I find disturbing.

The character I'm referring to is Coach Nate, without giving

anything away for those who haven't watched the show yet. In

season two, we see that coach Nate's sense of self worth

borders on self loathing. Coach Nate is consumed by his need for

recognition and constantly scrolls social media to read

what people are saying about him. He is easily elated when he

receives praise, and quickly turns to self loathing when he

reads anything less kind. And one seem after scrolling through

a series of tweets that praise His work. One unknown tweeter

calls him a loser. Nate tosses his mobile and spits at his

reflection in the mirror. This happens twice in the season. And

each time It unsettles me, and I feel a sharp pain in my heart.

As I'm reminded of the person I once was. Other people's

opinions mattered way more than they should have. And most of my

decisions were based on what I thought I should do to get the

approval or recognition I so desperately wanted. I'd revel in

the praise and crumble at anything less kind. I didn't

spit at my own reflection, but I'd often look in the mirror and

cry, or say unkind things to myself. I didn't love the woman

looking back at me, and had a very low sense of my own

worthiness. The one thing I did possess though, was a belief

that I could change and grow into someone I could love. I

didn't know how to do that exactly, but I threw myself at

the problem anyway. I went to counseling, enrolled in personal

growth workshops, and consumed one self help book after

another. My favorite hangout in my 20s and early 30s was Banyan

books in Vancouver. This bookstore is devoted exclusively

to personal and spiritual growth. I would spend hours in

this cozy shop where hints of lavender or peppermint or some

other musty scent hung in the air. I discovered some amazing

books here, books that became my closest companions, the prophet

by Kahlil Gibran, The Alchemist by Paulo coho. And the artists

way by Julia Cameron was Julia Cameron's morning pages in the

artists way that helped me through some of my most

challenging and darkest days. If you're unfamiliar, the mourning

pages is a simple practice of writing three pages longhand

upon waking up or soon thereafter. The writing is meant

to be stream of consciousness, no thinking, planning or

editing. In fact, it's recommended that you don't even

read what you've written. This exercise is simply meant to

clear the gunk out of your head so you can approach the rest of

the day with more clarity. This daily ritual helped flush out

and better understand my feelings. It also lighten the

load some by simply creating the space for self expression and

letting out some of the things I didn't know how to share with

others. There is definitely great value in doing that.

My Love and Respect for self, however, was growing at a

snail's pace. The problem was, what I mostly wrote about were

feelings of inadequacy. I focused on the things I didn't

love about me and my life, the things that were bringing me

down the things I didn't have and wanted. I suspect in some

ways, I was reinforcing my not enoughness by constantly writing

about it. I would write things like, I feel empty. I wish I was

more talented. I wish I was more like Gina. Gina was this

powerhouse woman I knew from my acting class. That was the dream

back then to be an actress. Gina would walk into a room and all

heads would turn, she would do a scene and have everyone riveted.

All eyes were on her all the time. It's not that she was the

most beautiful person in the room. She just knew who she was

and oozed this radiant confidence. It was a confidence

I desperately wanted. I thought Gina was the cat's meow. And in

comparison, I felt like I was the dog's breakfast. As I wanted

to be like Gina, I started writing about all the

characteristics and qualities about her that I admired my

writing but then inevitably, take a turn towards self pity

because I was clearly nothing like her. Then one day while

hanging out at Banyan books, I discovered a new author, Louise

Hay and her book, you can heal your life. This sounded like

something I needed. A few Louise key philosophies hit a chord.

Things like every thought we think is creating our future. A

thought can be changed. And everyone suffers from the belief

that I'm not good enough. What I remember thinking while sitting

on the floor and Banyan books, does Gina think she's not good

enough. I never found the courage to ask her. However,

that did spark some curiosity. And I have asked countless

others over the years, all of whom have confirmed that yes, at

some point on their journey, they have experienced feelings

of inadequacy. Even the seemingly most confident people

have expressed these feelings, and often still do particularly

when venturing down a new path. With this idea that our thoughts

shape our future, my morning pages began to morph into what I

now call my possibility pages. And that's when things began to

really change quickly. I already identified the qualities that I

admired in Gina. Now instead of writing in my morning pages

about her, I wrote in my possibility pages about a future

version of me who possesses those qualities. And I wrote in

the present tense using I am statements. I took it one step

further and started describing my future life. Again in the

present tense as if I was already living that life. And

something pretty miraculous began to happen. My competence

grew, my sense of self worth expanded, and opportunities

began to show up where I could step into being the person I

wrote about this new practice 10 ext my personal growth. Similar

to the morning pages, the possibility pages is a daily

writing stream of consciousness exercise, however, this flowing

river of consciousness is gently guided by asking yourself two

key questions. Who do I want to be? And what life do I want to

live? Then allow the pen the flow, and I do recommend doing

this longhand, and write about that future version of you in

the present tense using I am statements as if you were

already that person living that life. It doesn't have to be

three pages long. It could be one short paragraph that takes

you three minutes to write.

Identify the character traits and qualities you want to

possess and describe how you look and feel. The things you do

and the people you are with. get as specific as possible. With

the details of your life and who you want to be, if you write

about this future version of you every morning, soon, you will

begin to make choices that are aligned with that person you

want to become in that life you want to live. Life is full of

choices. And when you weren't clear about who you want to be

in that life, you want to lead and you believe in yourself and

the possibilities, you begin to make choices to step into the

beingness of that person and that life. Louise Hay was

absolutely right. Your thoughts do create your future. When you

get intentional with your thoughts and write them that

down. You can map out a future to anywhere you want. You can't

just do it once though, and tuck it away like some new year's

resolution. This is an everyday thing until you reprogram your

beliefs and start creating the future you want. The possibility

pages is a powerful tool that you can start doing right now by

simply investing a few minutes of time every day to write about

a future version of you and your life that you want to bring into

existence. This is how you can go from feelings of low self

worth to feelings of self love and respect. And make no mistake

creating a life you absolutely love and one that is full of joy

starts by loving yourself. First, you are worthy of that

time investment. Try doing the possibility pages for just 30

days and see how things begin to shift for you. It's an

incredibly powerful tool that has the ability to massively

transform your life. regardless of your level of self love and

competence. This is a tool anyone can use to create big

shifts. I'd love to hear your thoughts about this practice.

You can connect with me and other like minded souls in a

private Facebook group that I've called the joyful journeyer or

feel free to email me privately. My details are in the show

notes. Thanks for tuning in joyful journeyer and we'll catch

you next time. Thank you for joining us today on the joyful

journey podcast. If anything resonated with you, please visit

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