Pillar 3 of Embodied Eating – Curiosity & Creating Exactly What You Desire! (Part 2) – Encore | Ep.66

This show is about freedom. Freedom from your constant struggle with food and letting the size of your thighs determine your worth. Join me weekly for no hope back unfiltered girlfriend kind of conversations that will inspire, teach and empower you. As we tune into our own body's wisdom and tune out of the diet industry blinds, we can live our most radiant, pleasurable and fulfilled lives. My name is Chanci Dawn. I'm a non diet nutritionist embodiment and mindset coach. But most importantly, I'm a woman on a mission to grow a deeply connected and conscious relationship with food and my body. And I'm here inviting you to do the same. Let's go.

Hello, love Chanci here. Thank you so much for joining me. And I want to let you know that for the next six or so episodes, we're going to be on coring. The first few really important foundational core episodes of this entire program, it's really important that you dig into these so that you can really understand the juiciness of all of this, this approach to healing your relationship with food in your body. So you're going to be learning about the four pillars of embodied eating, and just more about what this actually is and why it can be so beneficial for you. So yes, I'm doing this on core, because number one that is really important. But number two, which actually is more important is that my body is asking me for a break. I've been tuning into her and I definitely want to be able to come and record these episodes for you from a place of just this, like deep joy, okay, like this desire to do this, and an excitement to do it to be able to share all of this really important wisdom and information and these really important tools with you. And for the last little while, I've been have to admit dragging myself to the mic a little. And I don't want that energy here. So I'm going to take this time, I'm going to take this time to have a break, to dig into all the juicy things I want to share with you once again and be able to come to you fresh and anew in August. So for the next little while enjoy these encore episodes, please still share. And also please let me know really, if there's anything that you want me to talk about on this podcast, if there's anyone you want me to interview, if there's anything you really want to dig into more, okay, because this show is for you. I'm doing it for you to be able to help you heal your relationship with food in your body. So let's partner together let me know what you want to hear more about. And I look forward to giving you brand new fresh, wonderful episodes in August

Hey there welcome to it tastes like freedom. Super happy. You're here I am just coming off of a two day camping trip out on a really cool island called Quadra Island. It's just off of just about, you know, half an hour north of where I live catch ferry, and then we go and it is so beautiful. Oh my goodness, I just had such a beautiful time. And they were celebrating me day over there. And it was so fun. I've never actually been to a May Day celebration. This is my first one. And it's the first one they've done since COVID hit so that was really, really special. And it's funny, I was sitting there at one point, they're like, can everyone stand to sing the national anthem? So I stood and as everyone saying there was a huge group of people and as everyone saying, oh my goodness, I just felt so emotional. That was the first gathering I've been in since all of this started and oh, it was so special. So I just wanted to share that with you and I hope you're having similar experiences right now as things start to feel like they're opening up right so Anyways, that was that it was awesome. And an equally awesome thing was I have been known to be obsessed with s'mores love them and obsessed in the way of having to absolutely restricted an eye and use my willpower like crazy to stay away from them anytime we've gone camping. And this time I had I made us more I was like yeah, of course I can I can have more. Of course I I can do I like my reasons for wanting it. And I actually did. So I had one and I made it. Perfect marshmallow. All the good stuff. It was so delicious. And you know what I literally was done with half, half a smore. I surprised myself and I'm like, You know what? I'm good. And I got rid of the rest of it. Now, if there is any testament that this stuff works that I'm teaching you that is it. I cannot express to you if you saw the before chancy with s'mores, and the now Chanci up like Oh, my goodness, Sign me up. So yes, there we go. Just another little validation that this works. And it was just so fun, it was so fun to experience that to feel it. And again, you know, even though this is what I do for a living, this is what I'm passionate about. Those little moments of personal transformation, personal validation, little or big moments, because there's a lot of big ones too. They, they just keep me going. Because I'm like, truly if I can feel free around food, and if I can feel confident in my body, anyone can I truly believe that. So please, let's just celebrate that with me. And my prayer is that you will start to experience the same things as you continue plugging in listening to the show, and growing your own relationship with your body. So beautiful. Okie dokie. So today, we're going to be talking about morbid curiosity, I'm going to dig deeper into the tool, the model that I taught you last week. So if you haven't already listened to last week's episode, Episode Six, please go back and listen to that before you tune into this one, because I want you to feel like you're understanding and not completely lost. One thing last week that I actually forgot to share with you was the idea of Peony moments. And this is really important when we're thinking about curiosity. So Peony moments is actually a term I came up with, that really describes, I believe, this whole process of really, really getting curious and establishing tons of awareness around yourself and your relationship with food in your body. So I love peonies, they are by far my favorite flower, I have tons of them in my gardens. And I love it, how they start out in this tiny little bed right there, you would have no idea, the beauty and the layers of petals that is contained in this, but so it's a tiny little bite and just like just like us, right where these tiny little buds just waiting to blossom waiting to bloom under some love, and nourishment and that tender loving care and expansion. So when we're ready to expand, that's where we want to get curious. That's where we want to really drop into this awareness part. Because that is what is going to open up our pedals. So when I think of this whole experience with my clients, and with you and myself, we start off as these buds and then as we start to get curious, these petals open one by one, and we get to look inside and go, Oh, wow. Oh my goodness, that's what's going on. I had no idea. Or maybe you did have an idea. You're like, oh, yeah, I totally expected that in there. And as we continue to grow, and develop this relationship with our bodies, the peony, who we are, we just blossom. And we become so beautiful and rich with experience, that whole expansion I'm talking about. So this is what I love to think of when I think of the use of the model. It's really around creating more Peony moments in our lives. These are those aha moments. So last week, we talked about the first use of the model, which really is around awareness. So we call it the unintentional model, because it's what you are running on default. These are your patterns. These are your habits that you really don't even realize why you're doing them. Right. And what we have discovered through last session about the model is our circumstances neutral. It's the thought that we think about if that creates any emotion in us at all. And then I love before that thought piece. I love to stick in s for sensation, because our bodies will respond. It'll react to stimuli to the circumstances before our thoughts even kick in quite often. So we really don't want to take that out. That is the embodiment part. So we want to put that in there. So we have a neutral circumstance and then our body's like oh a reactionary in our thought. has a thought about it according to our conditioning, right? It's always rooted in beliefs we already have, that will create an emotion, that emotion will drive our action, what we do and what we don't do. And then that will get us the result that we create for ourselves. So when you look at this, it all comes back to Oh, wow, our thoughts are so powerful. And that is why we want to question everything. We don't want to continue going around just blindly following our thoughts. Right? We really want to go okay, do these serve me? And if not, what is the thought that will? How do I actually want to feel here? So that is what we talked about last week. And I had a really great message from let's just color JV in case. So JB sent me a message on Instagram. And she said, so I ate some chocolate. Like you said, I gave myself conscious permission. Okay, that's awesome. I stayed present and enjoyed the texture, the taste the experience, it was yummy. I was satisfied. I still wouldn't store chocolate bars in my house, though. My mind constantly nags me to eat them. I'll keep practicing. And then she did a winky face. And I just love Thank you, JB for sending that to me, because I think this is a really perfect example of what our thoughts are doing behind our back. I love that you went in that you purposefully were like, consciously present, you gave yourself permission, and you really enjoyed the chocolate and the fact that you felt satisfied after amazing, beautiful. Now let's look at that thought that you have around not being able to keep it in the house. So you, dear listener, and you JV if you're listening, and let's like really, again, feel that when I think the thought I can't keep chocolate in the house, because it will constantly crave or call to me. How does that feel? For me, it feels really hectic, it feels chaotic. It feels like I can't trust myself. Right? That's actually a thought. But that feeling I get is of the resistant to it, it doesn't feel safe.

Now, let's continue down along this path. Because we're, again, creating awareness here, we're going to start with the unintentional model just to see what's going on. When you feel resistant, or when you feel whatever that emotion is that the thought elicits for you. How does that make you act and not act? Okay, so let's look at this example. She doesn't keep chocolate in the house, right? She's like, I can have chocolate, I can feel satisfied with it, it can feel like, you know, amazing, but it's too dangerous to keep in the house. So with that, what we what we ended up doing is labeling it as dangerous. We're labeling it as bad, essentially, right? Maybe addictive, too hard to resist. And then the other other action would be like we only keep it for special occasions, or we'll have it but enjoy it. But there's that back chatter going, ooh, this actually isn't good. This isn't good for you, you shouldn't be having it. There's a lot of shoulds going on in the background of this example. And as a result of all this, it remains a trigger. Okay. The chocolate is not a trigger, because of the fact that it's chocolate. It's not a trigger, because it's delicious. It's not a trigger, because it has sugar. It's not a trigger, because it has, you know, maybe if you know about the bliss point, it has the bliss point, the perfect blend of sugar, fat and salt for the human brain to make those hormones go Ding, ding, ding, I want more. It's actually not a trigger because of that. Yes, that is part of why we're driven towards it. Okay. But the trigger part, the reason why it feels scary to keep it in the house is because of the wrist restriction around it. It's because of the deprivation. It's because of the thoughts that it's not safe. I know that some of you are rolling your eyes. I know you might be like what no way it is addictive. It is not safe. It is not because I'm restricting. You know what that is? Okay. If you're there just get curious again, let's bring out that curiosity because I really want to I really really want to challenge you on this. Look at me, I ate half is more and was not at all desiring more. That is the power of this. Okay? So please even if you're in Like, yeah, right? Don't discredit it. Just stay curious and connected in and keep on listening. Okay, so the result of that is you can't keep chocolate in the house, you totally prove your thought, right. And this is what our brains do, our brains love to look for evidence of what we're already thinking, we want to prove ourselves Correct. That is what our human brain loves to do. So if you have that thought, your brain will drive you to it again and again and again, through evidence that you are right, and chocolate is not safe in your house. So that is the unintentional model. Let me know if you have any questions about it. Oh, and I should remind you, I do have a PDF of it that you can print off in the show notes, okay, so go there, print it off, because this is a really amazing tool to be able to have in your back pocket to bring out this awareness to be able to create more Peony moments. Nice. Thanks for sticking with me for that, I know that this is a lot of info. But we're gonna be digging into this model a lot in this podcast, because it is that powerful. So keep on working on it. Now, now that we have investigated now that we've created some awareness, and we look and we're like, that is what's going on here, we've created awareness to the unintentional model. Now the fun starts, now we get to look at the result we actually want to create. So when you look at the model, if you have the PDF in front of you, you see C for circumstance, s, for sensation, T for thought, F for feeling, a for actions are for result. So when we're going to create a result on purpose, what we want to do is we actually want to start at the result line, start in the Arline, what do you want? What do you desire around your relationship with food. So let's stay with this example of the chocolate. Now, let's just write down I didn't talk to JV about this. So I don't actually know her experience is just like that unintentional model. That's just my take on it. She might feel differently and have different actions. We don't know that. But what I explained to you is pretty much average, and what I see all the time, okay. Now, the result, let's say that the result is, I can keep chocolate in the house and eat it when it serves me. Okay? Ha, what would that mean to you? What does serving you mean to you, to me, serving me means when it's pleasurable, when I can eat it, and really enjoy it, not like standing at the kitchen counter shoving it into my mouth, because my kids are driving me crazy. As I'm making dinner, right? To me, that doesn't serve me, your brain might think that that serves you because it does give you that like dopamine hit. But what actually happens is it doesn't register as pleasure, it doesn't register as that, you know, that satisfaction that you're going for, because again, you weren't paying attention when you were eating it. And most likely, there was other thoughts behind the scene saying you shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do this. So that also totally takes the pleasure away, and the satisfaction is gone. And so

serving is pleasurable. And to me, it means that I'm not, I'm not eating it at the expense of maybe an emotion that I need to feel maybe an experience that is there for me. Okay. So when we look at what serves me, these are questions you get to ask yourself in the action line. So when your result is keeping the chocolate in the house and eating it when it serves me, let's look at the actions that will create that result. So for me, the number one thing is I get curious, and I listen without judgment. That's like listening to my body sensations, feeling them. I'm driven towards chocolate right now. And my body is feeling really like say, anxious, right? I'm feeling this sort of like Rush. It's been a long day. Again, I'm making my kids dinner and I'm just like, Ah, screw it. I just want some chocolate. That'll taste good. Right? That'll give me that little boost of whatever I need. So, again, listen, and the without judgment is huge here. And this is where the curiosity piece comes in. We don't go Oh, you're so terrible. Oh, I can't believe this is happening again. Oh, you're so addicted to chocolate. We do not want any of these judgmental thoughts come into play. This is all about opening those pedals and saw After looking inside and really getting to know yourself, so we want to use this as an opportunity to go deeper with you to build that relationship. Instead of judging, it's the same as if it was a romantic relationship, say your partner is struggling, you're not going to go. If you want to build a closer relationship, you're not going to judge and judge and judge be like, I can't believe this. And you know, all of these things. Instead, you're gonna go, Hey, what's going on for you? Right? How can I best support you? What do you need right now? So these are the same types of questions you can ask yourself. And when you take the time to do this, you're gonna be really, really surprised, I think, at how much you that beautiful body of yours, and that beautiful brain has to communicate with you. When you allow yourself to get curious, you can answer the questions like, am I actually just hungry? Am I again? Are there some emotional things here that I get to pay attention to and tune into? Maybe I'm needing more pleasure elsewhere in my life? Maybe this is a hormonal thing? Where am I at in my cycle? Do I need some magnesium? Right? Those are all very legit questions to get curious about. And perhaps it's just I just really want some chocolate because chocolate is delicious, and yum. And then in that case, what you want to do is you want to really drop in to that. Why? Why are you wanting it? Why are you being driven towards it? And you get to ask yourself, Do I like this reason or not? You are the boss of you. If you like your reason for wanting the chocolate, then have the chocolate source out the chocolate that is going to give you the most pleasure and eat it in pleasure. Just like Jay V was explaining when she did this conscious awareness of it. I actually have another friend who was talking to me about chocolate, dark chocolate and pleasure. And she's like, Do you know what I actually find that I find get the most satisfaction, and the most pleasure out of the chocolate that I'm eating when I'm doing something else. She said, I don't if I sitting there and lighting a candle and having mood music and all of this right, he's like, I actually feel really bored. But I feel a lot of pleasure when I'm driving in my car and eating this chocolate. And I think that is awesome. That is such good self awareness. It's the very similar with me, when I eat ice cream. Sometimes what I really love to do is open my freezer, get out the ice cream and have a couple of spoonfuls with the freezer open standing in front of the fridge. So all of my like mindful, you know, presence coaches here are going to be like freaking out. And that's okay, this is just different. And again, open your brain open up the beliefs that you've held to be true and allow yourself to question them. If you find that eating chocolate, when you're driving is the most satisfactory for you and the most pleasurable, then do it. What we don't want to do, again is go back to that shame and that judgment part. decide why through asking these questions you want this and decide if you like your reasons for wanting it. That is the key here. We want to take away the charge you want to talk take away any sort of villain status of any food, we just want to neutralize it. Chocolate and broccoli are both allowed in your house. And you can eat both of them when you want to. And you'd like your reasons for doing so. The and done. This is me on a soapbox, telling you what I believe to be true and what I have seen work time and time and time again in my own life and my clients. So when we're looking at this model here, we have now looked at the result we want and the actions, those actions we get to get curious and write asking ourselves these things and asking ourselves if we'd like a reason and then actually giving ourselves what we really need. The other part of that I should reiterate is if you decide you know what, wow, there's something else going on here. Like I'm feeling really lonely, then that's your decision what you want to do with that. Sometimes people are going to still just want to emotionally eat some chocolate. But again, know what you're doing. Don't pretend you're not right. Don't eat chocolate or whatever else it is behind your own back. This is all about self awareness and agency. Choosing what you want because you want it and in a way that that will serve you take back your power In this.

So now let's keep working up the model. So we know the result we want. And we know the actions we need to take and not take in order to create that result. Now, if you remember, the power of this is in the thought that you're thinking. So let's go up to that spot in the model here, the original thought was, I can't have chocolate in my house, because my brain will drive me to it. Right? That is a scary thought that is a an empowering thought. So let's think of a thought that is actually empowering. Now, keeping it simple is key, we only want a one sentence here, sometimes we can like have like three sentences or a whole paragraph, what we don't want to do is that we really want to keep it very tight. So let's just think of a very simple thought, what about, I can have chocolate? If I want it? How does that feel to you? To me, that makes me feel curious, that makes me feel at ease. So when we can think that thought I can have chocolate, if I want it, then we get to drop in to that, if I want it part. So thinking, and I actually really believe this, like that's one of the keys here, also, is that when we go up into that sensation part, your body knows what you're actually thinking, right? Whether it's subconscious or conscious, your body does not lie. So if you're feeling triggered around chocolate, if you're feeling charged around it, if there's anything other than the sense of ease and calm, then you're not actually believing that thought that you can have it if you want it, okay, because there's other stuff at play there. And that is okay, I really want you to have so much compassion for yourself in this because this takes time. And this is why it can often feel very, very chaotic in the beginning, when you start playing around with this, because you have dissonance on one side, you're like, I'm choosing to believe that I can have chocolate, if I want it, I can have it in my house, I can have pleasure from food, food is neutral, whatever it is these new thoughts. And then on the other hand, there's all of those conditioned thoughts, all of those things that you have held to be true for so long and that have been taught to you. So we want to look at this and we want to go, Oh, what do I actually want to believe? And you want to check in with your body? How does it actually feel? Okay, so here looking at, I can have chocolate, if I want to. Let's just say it creates that sense of calm in you where you can now get curious, and then go forward with the actions and create that result. That is the way this works. So when you go back up, okay to that thought, again, check in with your body, see how your body really feels. And I'm going to teach you in future episodes, a tool called the thought ladder. Okay, and this tool is gonna help you move from one thought of like, I can't have chocolate in my house ever to Okay, yeah, I can have chocolate in my house and eat it if I want to. Okay, so it's little baby steps. But don't worry, if you don't believe it yet. Just get curious. Have some chocolate in the house, see how it feels for you. Just allow yourself to play with this and do not hesitate to reach out if you need support or if you have questions. Wonderful. You are amazing. Thank you for staying until the end. I know that this was a lot of info. I love teaching. I used to be a teacher back in the day. And sometimes this podcast will be a lot about teaching because I really want you to have these beautiful tools that have really worked to transform my life and others who I've had the beautiful privilege of teaching them to. Okay, my friend. Well, you just have a wonderful rest of your week. Please share this episode with your best friend if this is something that you know she's needing right now. And also connect with me on instagram if you're not already. I have changed my handle. I think it's called on there, too. It used to be chanted on coaching and now it's the embodied nutritionist. Isn't that fun? I like that. That title. Oh, one more thing before we go. Next week. I have a special guest Tara McCann and Tara is a menstrual health coach who really specializes in helping women learn how to track their cycles. This Conversation is so good. Oh my goodness, I just need every single woman to listen to it. I learned a lot. So please tune in and definitely, definitely get your other friends listening to the show before then so that they don't miss it. Okay, my friend, you are amazing. Have a wonderful day. I'll talk to you soon.