Autism Is Not A Disability But Rather A Gift With Rob Hodes

Hello, all, welcome to the health without side Podcast with your hosts, Saylor Cooper.

And Tyler Evans,

the topic of this podcast will consist of many stories of people from various backgrounds and experiences, who have had many challenges, and have been able to successfully overcome them and rise to the top. So sit

back and relax, as we give you the best of these diverse stories.

Because if you are feeling down and out, like you cannot make it in the world, then this podcast is the right one for you. Because if my guests can make it, so can you happy listening? Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to another episode of help without site. This is Episode Six, featuring Rob hopes, of course, the purpose of helping outside is to inspire others. And by doing that we invite people to share stories of overcoming challenges in life. So I'm your host, Sailor Cooper. And of course, my co host

is Tyler Evans,

I and today on today's programming, our guest is Rob Hodes from California. He is a very, very remarkable individual who's had a lot of challenges in life, but he's overcome. And it's done so much. Please welcome Rob helps to share his story, Rob, how you doing this evening?

I'm doing great yourself.

I'm doing well doing well. Thanks so much for agreeing to be on the hope without sight podcast. So I'm so looking forward to you sharing your story in detail. So to get started, I know that your background, you're on the autism spectrum. And what's so crazy about it is you had no idea that you had it until like in 2005, like in your 40s. Right. Yeah, yeah, basically, I read your website, which is my autism gifts.com. And that what you have on there is just so empowering and inspirational, you share how you struggle with struggling at a very young age. And of course, that that led to bullying, a low self esteem, and you couldn't communicate.

You couldn't figure out how to communicate with others, and just have good, meaningful relationships. And not only that, you're in a dark and you had no idea you know why that was happening. But I, it says on your website, that you've when you were finally diagnosed in 2005, you just press on by taking many, many courses, like from Teen Tony Robbins, Toastmasters International, and the fact that you pressed on, and you've overcome these challenges. You know, you just inspire me inspired Tyler and of course, you're inspiring my listeners. And you're now I just want you to just give us like a more detailed your life story that you've lived.

Absolutely. So I'm here in Los Angeles, and it's great to be here. Thanks for your invitation. And my story is a story of not giving up in a story of hope. Right? Because Because fear does not stand for what you think it stands for. It is not stand for f everything and run. I could have done really easily. I could play the game the blame game the shame. Yeah. I could say, oh, what's my mom's fault. It's nature's fault. It's it's all my friends fault. It's society's fault. But I don't play the blame game because because when you play the blame game, you get nothing back in return. So other than other than work, other than more blame because there's no computers saying I'm a I'm a former computer nerd. It's a guy go guy go stands for garbage in, garbage out. Yeah. So in other words, if you have if you have go which thoughts? Guess what? You create garbage reality? Yeah, that's right. And creating garbage reality, I had that for the first 25 years, and I got sick of it. So that's why I started in 1984. You know, that's why I started, started taking all those courses. But before 1984 When I was learning to talk, like, like in the 60s, you know, when they didn't have, you know, diagnosis is on the autism spectrum. Right. Oh, and, and, and the 70s. That's, that's pretty new. You know, no one, no one knew I didn't know how to it until I started seeing a therapist when I was 45. But so I was stuttering, like, like this. And who wants to hang around with a guy who can't even communicate? Exactly. People asked me my name. And I can only say vowels, not consonants. So rather than Robbie Hoge, I would say, ah, E O. Because those because those were the vowels. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Right. Right. I eventually learned to talk. And you can communicate relatively good. But it wasn't until I was in my mid to late teens, I actually kicked the stuttering habit. What I did was I actually went a Yo, I was living in in Los Angeles. And I heard about this page called the National Center for stuttering in New York City. And basically, what what they had me do is they had me take this plastic pose, and they had me blow into the hose, because they noticed that I after I got my first syllable out, I was pretty good. But the first word that was my challenge, so I would blow into the, into the hose like and then I would say the first syllable and the first word and etc. So and then after I mastered that, they had me do other things. And after a year and a half, yo, I was in really good shape. Yeah, but then college started. And before college, you know, I had a physical exam. And I was diagnosed with scoliosis, if anyone knows that is curvature of the spine. And the doctor gave me gave me two choices. He said, you could you could have a screwed up back for your entire life if you don't take my advice and and his advice was to wear a back brace and this back brace had had a had a neck rest and a backrest. And and I don't know if anyone has ever seen The Munsters cartoons where Herman Munster has, has the has those things sticking out of his neck on the right and left side? Well, I have those things sticking out in my back brace. So So again, semester in college shy, introverted nerd, who, who can communicate now? But but you have all these yo, cool college kids who are like, what's this guy's problem? So, so making friends wish not easy. Being a Yo, and I actually, yo bribe the guy to go to a concert with me once?

Yeah,

and and I'll say the oh, here's that yo, yeah, I'll, I'll take it when you arrive, blah, blah, blah. And he never showed up. I was like, okay, so much for that idea. And I can't do that with anymore. bribing people, not the way to go. I mean, it wasn't a bribe, but you get the drift. You know, you want somebody to to hang out with them. They you liked them. And they're saying the right things, but an actuality you know, nothing, nothing turned out so so I obviously never talked to the guy again. But I had to learn how to be genuine and how to be authentic. Because when you yo when you the fake it till you make it doesn't always work when you when you're talking on peewee Heyman, and when Steven Cole, you know, people don't want to hang around with that kind of guy. And obviously I make graduating. But literally through all these courses, I learned how to be genuine. I learned how to be a leader, how to lead people, I organized event, I was taking courses at a place called this summit organization in Los Angeles. And it was like, I don't know if anyone has ever heard of acid or Lifespring, or landmark education. It was basically they, they had 45 different courses on the ego, self esteem, personal presentation, sales leadership. And, and I was so stubborn, that for the first nine months, when I was taking these courses, which weren't cheap, I wasn't doing anything about it. And finally, they took, hey, you either start taking action, or you're not gonna be taking these courses anymore, because you're wasting your money. So our time,

so you were taking those courses, but you weren't applying to what you learned, you want to apply it to your life situation. And of course, that wasn't taking you anywhere, anywhere. That's, that's how I'm understanding it. And also the part where you said you had trouble communicating with one of your guy friends, of course, that's expected in autism spectrum disorder, because communication skills, they don't come natural. You know, people on the spectrum tried to make friends, but they just don't understand how they go. And they didn't. They're just misinterpreted a lot.

Oh, yeah.

Exactly. Right. And, and not only not only misinterpreted, you know, I had in addition to to high functioning autism, I had ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome. Yeah. So with Asperger's, for those that don't know, it's yo, it's hard reading body language. So

yeah, now, like now as Asperger's, according to the I think it's a DSM five, and the latest one, the last one, which was updated in 2014, Asperger's no longer exists. Now. It's it's all culminated into one Autism Spectrum Disorder, because you see, a lot of people think autism is a single disorder.

Right

And it's not it's a it's a wide spectrum, where people have different kinds of skills, different kinds of abilities. And, and it all depends on the severity of each of those domains, where you win if you fit on the spectrum, because, you know, mean, timing always, always meant, no, we're almost like brothers, I want to have thought, in question whether I fit on the spectrum, because I do have some of those traits. You know, I know, I do, like, obsess over certain staff and like, ourselves, I know, I've moved my hands a lot, you know, you know, classic kinds of autism involved, involved at taking something in your hand, shaking it doing like this? I don't know if you did that, Rob. But, you know, because of those traits, I questioned if I had it, but like, I don't think I do, because, like you said, you may have some of the other traits. And some of the domains, but there's a minimum, it's like a mix and match. There's a minimum number of items that need to be checked in order for you to you know, fit on the spectrum in my life.

You are correct. Yes. And, and by the way, the reason why I wasn't taking taking their advice was because I was playing the blame game in the beginning. And then I was jolted back to reality. And yo, and I haven't played the blame game in like 35 years. I

Right, Right

don't know you should not play the blame game

because you should never compare yourself to other people. That is killer right there. Uh, yeah. Your eye roll gave us uniquely great gifts. Put those gifts to use.

Right. And it's called being differently abled.

Yeah, don't, don't look at that green or glass. On the other side. Don't wish you had somebody else's skills. Like, honestly, there were periods of times, you know, that I, I did compare myself to other people who I would, when I was, there were, there was one time I was just, you know, in a funk I was, you know, depressed, not sure where I wanted to do, you know, of my life and how I would get there. And I would just go, gosh, you know, I wish I, I wish I was just like somebody else. And, you know, it's not healthy to do that. I mean, I'm proud of who I am. And, you know, that's the way it should be. And another thing I want to point out is, I'm so proud of you, Rob, that you're educating people on what Autism Spectrum Disorder is, because there's, there's a lot of stigma out there. And people think, when they hear the word autism, you know, it's it, they're automatically scared, because they think, oh, you know, autism is bad, you know, people with autism are incapable of doing stuff. And, you know, because of where they act the way they talk. They think they're stupid. It's not I mean, it's not true. Yes, you know, you're all we all are on the spectrum are different. In a lot of ways y'all may not do so well, you know, in, in certain areas that you know, the average non autistic person may do. However, a lot of times autism is a trade off. Y'all have uniquely good gifted skills, and traits that not many other people have, like, I know a lot of people have autism, you can just hear, they can, they can pick out minut details that the average person can't, like, I have a friend. He's a musician. He's on the spectrum. He, he, he can tell you what a major scale song is. And we're a non major scale song is the music note, which I don't know what the heck that is, I have no idea I, I listened to me is that I cannot differentiate in detail like that. And that's what society needs to know is, you know, not all autism is bad. You know, you're uniquely gifted, your your have, y'all can contribute to society. With your gifts. It's just adapting and living with your condition in the best way possible.

Right. And it's about turning, turning our lemons into the sweetest tasting lemonade possible.

Right.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

And also, yo, and it's about turning our quote unquote, nests. And there is no mess, but they're turning our mess into our message.

Yes. Yeah.

There you go.

Right.

that's a good one

Right.

And telling people Hey, uh, yo, I, yes, I'm, yes, I'm this Yes. I'm not Yes. Some of the other thing, but, but, but it, but it just means that we're all unique.

Yeah. And we all have unique gifts. And you know, I have a, I have a brother who's a doctor and another brother who's a lawyer. So if I compared myself to them, I would lose 100% of the time.

Exactly. Because you say me, me and Tyler were blind. And, I mean, it would be nice for us to see but you know, we've never seen before. So we don't we're not missing out. Well, I mean, yeah, we have certain inconveniences such as gain access to transportation when you know, we can't drive you know, our own vehicles as of yet, but that's okay. You know, we we live our lives to full life, brother.

Yes, indeed.

Yeah. Yeah, it's right as well.

You know, you know, the word disability I actually kind of hate that word.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

It's not, it's not a disability, it's more an ability.

It's just a different way of doing things like people with autism are technically disabled. Are they not?

Rob, so what would you say?

Well, as someone whose definition of disability you're using, if you're using a government definition, like Social Security, they don't consider autism a disability. However, you know, there's you know, but there are, but there are different different kinds, there are different different levels. So, right who I was just, so the high functioning autism, which I have is probably not considered a disability, but there's low functioning and medium functioning, and low functioning, basically, you need help with, with everyday things getting dressed, and things like that. And the medium functioning yo can do your basic things, but a yo deep, depending upon how each individual's brain is wired, then then it may be considered, you know, a disability or, or not. But the bottom line is, is, and this is where I teach people because I'm a coach and a mentor, you know, and www.my, autism gifts.com. And a lot of people have chips on their shoulder, like, really big, like, the size of the White House. Because, because because they were picked on they were they were thrown into rose bushes, like I was they were they were shunned because they were different. And, and you know what, I don't shun anybody. It's not the way that I do business. I, if I liked people, I liked him if I, if I don't like them, and they don't respect me, well, so Bucha problem,

that's the answer problem. I was told that two people don't like me, it's their problem, you know, I'm myself and I am who I'm going to be? Don't Don't let them don't let anybody put you down.

Right. Right. And also, you know, you have standards in your life, like, for example, there's a, there's, there's a friend of mine, who I'm not talking to anymore, because he had, he had a whole bunch of issues, I did my best to support him. But we all have to have to draw a, a proverbial line in the sand. And what I mean by that is that if a person keeps saying XYZ, and you tell them half a dozen times, don't say or do XYZ anymore, and they do it again, I'd like to buy a tie. So right, and you, you know, and you be as as as authentic and genuine as possible. But at the same time, if a person's not open to input and feedback, in terms of, of what I've seen, of seeing things not only is half full rather than half empty, and also seeing in in, in this case, you know, why they're losing friends what they're doing to lose friends. And, you know, and that and that there are growth opportunities fail stands for For all I learned. That's right. And so, so in life, crap happens.

Okay. Yeah,

it's just how we take it. And, you know, as I said earlier, fear does not stand for F, everything and run. After you talk to a mentor or a coach, like myself a minister, I sit in a parish, whoever, whoever can, can assist you. It then stands for feeling excited and ready.

Wow, that's it. Those are remarkable words, there. And before we continue, I do have a couple of clarification questions, actually. From where I understand it, low, moderate and high functioning autism. It refers to IQ, is that correct? Is that does that refer to intelligence quotient, Will?

Will possibly I'm not that familiar with it. But the way that I understand it is is how functional you are, in terms of how much assistance you need, in terms of getting dressed and doing all the basic functions that we do that we'll be on Uh, that would be on the low side. And then and then on the medium side, you can do all the basic things, you know. And you, you might be able to do some household chores and yo make yourself some cereal and things like that. And, and then and then on the high functioning, it's basically yo, there's just certain things that are that are specific to each to each individual person in how their brain is wired. Did that answer your question?

Yes, yes. And I believe you were talking about executive function, which is, it involves how a person can carry out daily tasks. Exactly. The level of difficulty they have carrying them out, like you told me you're high functioning. Now you live on your own right.

Right, right. Yeah. Sure.

Yeah.

Keep going.

And also, I want to add to that sensory issues are common, like, overstimulated, you're stimulated by noise, sometimes lighter, maybe?

Yep.

I was stimulating sound texture.

Right.

Have you had Have you had any difficulties with that?

No, fortunately, not. That's very common in autism. I absolutely. And for those who don't know, what executive function is, it's a part of the brain that controls like motor skills and things like that. And, and if that part of the brain is not is not fully developed, then then you have low executive functions.

Now you you've had no issues with executive function, as I'm understanding.

No, it's no, that's good. No, but but here's, but But here's an example of how I turn lemons into lemonade and how I'm turning my mess into my message. So I was picked on Yo, people were picking on me because I couldn't talk. So now, and but what I do now, is that I make fun of how people talk in a, in a non threatening way. Like if say, say, you know, when I'm talking to into someone, and someone says, Okay, I'm gonna shoot you an email. I'm like, okay, and when you shoot me the email, what caliber? Bullet? Will you be using?

Yeah, yeah, I do I get that. It's, it's a way you understand language, like you're very, very little, because I've watched even videos, especially with the athletes. If someone was if someone was sitting with sitting down with someone with Asperger Syndrome, he say, dare here. They may think, oh, you should physically leave and leave a room. And well, I said, get out of here. That person's like, No, I can't believe this happened. So exactly. It's the liberal component, and how people understand also sarcasm and humor. That's an area of difficulty as well. Have you have you had difficulties with that?

No, I actually, what I do is I turn the tide on, on people and I, and I, you know, and I say, like, for example, you know, in addition to this, you know, my, my passion of helping people and assisting people and breaking through their own their, their unseen and unknown barriers. I do have where I call it a job. And I do call center customer service. And me and most of the people I talk to us, our senior citizens. So this is an example of how I playfully play with people's words. Oh, so you have a job. Cool. Right, right, right. Yeah. I wouldn't, I wouldn't have held the job for the last five and a half years, and a lot of people on the autism spectrum have have issues holding jobs. Yes. So but, but so, you know, so these senior citizens always say, both Well, thanks for your patience while I get my medication, you know, or while while you're there looking at the answer to my question or whatever. And my, my typical answer, well, yo, Mary, or Steve or whoever it is, I don't know about you, but but since I'm not a doctor, or a nurse, I don't have any patients. Wow. I am so so when I make sure I say it slowly, so they get the humor. Because if you say fasting people, people say what do you say? And, and you're going to lose them. Yeah, and that's not an effective way of, of mentoring, mentoring and coaching people, and you have to gauge a person's sense of humor or lack thereof, when you're talking to them. And, and through all these 38 years worth of personal development courses, that that's what I've done. So when I tell people I'm on the autism spectrum, most people don't even know because I'm so high functioning.

Yes, you're so so high functioning and mean, you do a lot of things so well, that you don't, people don't notice such that you're even on it. And, and then that's Wow, that's, that's just remarkable. And my next question is, I've always wondered, I want to get this straight. Here diagnosis, autism, I've done isn't psychiatrists, speech language pathologist, like who I know, you know, speech SLPs. They, they treat autism, but who, who makes the formal diagnosis.

It's a mental health, health professional, and psychiatrist, like a therapist, it doesn't have to be a psychiatrist. Because psychiatrists mainly just prescribe medication nowadays. Yeah, they don't do like talk therapy, they leave that to the to the therapist, and what most therapists do in my experience, is that the therapist diagnose you, and then the therapist has an arrangement with a psychiatrist, to put you on any medication, which, which, which would be appropriate. However, I refuse to use medications unless I really need to, simply because I want to be in control of me not having medication being controlled in me

makes sense. Because a lot of medications, they do have side effects. And, you know, I get it, like, I mean, as I said, I don't believe I'm on a spectrum, but I do have ADHD, and of course, there's there's varying degrees of ADHD as well, like the, the, the, the challenges that I have are like, I can't stay focused on a task. Also, procrastinate, procrastination happens a lot, like, Oh, I'll get up in the morning. And, oh, sometimes I'm still tired. I can't, you know, start on a task. I can't stay focused on it, there's distractions. And so I do take focalin which is one of the best ADHD medications out there because it it has the minimal side effects that most stimulants have. And all it does is it gets me going in the morning, it gets me focus. It's it sits me down. It gets me motivated to accomplish what I need to do. And so that way, I'm not like, distracted everywhere and and you know, when it wears off, I don't crash every day. And you see I don't like I don't take it every day. I don't take it on weekends or holidays. I just mainly take it we're gonna do I really need to really need to study. And so yeah, that's me. And I know, like, autism sometimes can be hard to diagnose, because there's all these other comorbidities that can interfere as well, like ADHD. And so, yeah, that's that. So I see. I mean, so yeah, therapists diagnosed diagnosis, autism. But I mean, I know like, of course, you weren't diagnosed until like, mid adulthood. So like, what? Because mainly people who get diagnosed our children, like between two and three years of age. I mean, especially now I mean, even even one year olds have been diagnosed know, especially now with all the advancements in studies that like I wonder if therapists diagnosis children as well.

I believe they do. And nowadays do with all The advances in in technology and people, kids are being diagnosed really, really early. But in like the 70s and the 80s, and even into the 90s, there was no, there was no, you know

it wasn't been diagnosed as much,

right. And plus, I do it didn't, it didn't post a status. It wasn't, it wasn't a part of the popular diagnosis, and people didn't know what to look for.

And also, especially if a child is diagnosed very young, at a young age, it is crucial that they are in a supportive environment. And that, like, the parents are closely involved. And, you know, they get all the help they can to help their children navigate the autism challenges, because they can have, at the end of the day, if they get the support early, they they have a tremendous high potential Am I right?

Absolutely, there's all sorts of testing and many other things that they can do. There's games that they play, there's, you know, there's there's brain development, things that they can do. But when I was diagnosed, diagnosed at 45 years old, you're obviously not going to play kids games. But, but But yeah, yes, a supportive environment. And, you know, supportive and special schooling and yes, medication and whatever is appropriate for each individual person.

And as far as the schooling, the parent, I believe, has to work very close with the school district in the IEP team to make sure that their child is not being like, underestimated in any way, you know, be just because you have a may have a disability, but you know, they, you know, they can achieve their highest potential because I know you're Tyler with your blindness, you experienced that, you know, you your mom went to go advocate for you. When you were little in Austin, and because of that you were in resource classes.

Before she advocated for me, yes, I was in resource classes. And she went to the art meetings, admission review and dismissal me.

Yeah, yeah.

You guys. Yeah.

Do you had art meetings?

I did. Yeah. And like I was, you know, especially in high school, I was kind of underestimated a little bit too, you know, I felt like I was supposed to, you know, I advocated and, you know, I, you know, I proved myself that I can achieve, you know, my highest potential and so, yeah, that's, that is definitely important as well. And, like a Rob, I do want to say, you know, because I say all this because I know you're high functioning right? That I have a I have a like a second, a distant cousin. He's, how old is he? He's, he's 16. Yeah, he's he just turned 16 This past August. He's, he's on the autism spectrum that he's like, on the severe end. He's a lot he is more verbal. He can't he will talk. But his, his vocabulary is very, very limited. And he was even when he was for like, you know, he couldn't dress himself. Up, they couldn't even be like potty trained or anything. You know that nature. I mean, he is now but he's, you know, he is he is on the severe end of the spectrum of it. What's so sad is he his environment that he's in? His parents are not good parents at all. They're they're very low income. They both have very low IQ. They have they have no they have no concept of money. He especially. And they're just messed up in a lot of ways. I mean, the Father, he is better in some ways. He's on the spectrum as well. He does try to be a good dad. But my mother is, you're no good at all. And what's sad is that he, he's just not in a good environment, you know, where he's being cared for? Because if he Whoa, I mean, even though his autism may be more severe, he, he could. He could be successful. Make sense?

Yeah, hello.

Absolutely. Oh, and by the way, and, and in terms of playing with people's words, you know, speaking of making sense, if you don't make sense, you don't make dollars either.

Good joke. Good joke. Oh, so yeah. So yeah, I'm glad I got all these questions answered. And so before I talk about what, after your diagnosis, Tyler, if you don't mind? I know. Is it okay, if I say on this podcast?

Yeah, what we're going to talk about

Well, I know since long as subjects of autism, I know, You've questioned if you've had a mild form of it. I mean, got Yeah, I mean, I won't say more. You take the mic, you. Go ahead.

Well, my, I think my sister in law is saying that she thinks I may have a mild form of it, because sometimes I act a certain way. Yeah.

Keep going.

But yeah. I'm really soft spoken. Sometimes. Like when it comes to, you know, meeting sometimes people and, you know, sometimes I'll sometimes I'll act a little inappropriate, like, on occasion, but, I mean, I think I've always done that to a point, but I don't know if that has to do with that. It could be that I may still have ADHD, potentially.

What would you say?

I would say, I would say, Yo, if you have health insurance, you know, and, and it and it covers mental mental health benefits, when you get a referral there if if need be, and, and, you know, for your, for your, for the person who is who is low income, perhaps there's Medicaid, which is, which is for low income people. And you have the parents look into that. And, by the way, sometimes things are not the fault of parents, they do the best they can. However, however, if they're, if they're not, if they don't know, know how to do something, and they weren't taught, and they don't think it's anything possible, then they're not going to bring it up as as a possibility. So that so so therefore, you know, that affects the child. Like, for example, my father was very, was was very quiet, quiet spoken. And my mother was just the opposite. She was like, my father was like, wanting to read a book and my mother was like, Yo, she was into, like, playing, playing tennis and all that. So. So it's a question of, in that case, having someone outside the family, someone who loves and cares for the child or whatever, have having a very polite and ginger conversation with the parents or the parent doesn't feel like you're attacking them saying, yo, have you ever thought of this possibility or that possibility for Johnny or jail or whatever the kid's name is? Um, so

yeah, it makes a heal you because I've heard it a lot. And, of course, parents build their primary caretakers right there go around us. 24/7. So, I mean, they're used to us. They're used to hearing us how we communicate and how we do conduct ourselves. And therefore, they may not notice other stuff towards, you know, an outside otherwise may make sense. And but also again, you know, again, it's it's a mix and match Tyler run you may, yes, you may have a couple of characteristics here now, but not sufficient to run it on the spectrum because you're very social right?

I'm very social. I love going and doing stuff you love. I love to go to church, I love to make friends,

you have issues with routines and and executive function No. Know what to try going over now. What? What were some of the others? You have no issue you have no issues with transitions and routines. You have no sensory issues now that like such as touch hearing no other stimulating stuff.

No,

no.

And so, so I may not have it personally. Oh, I got it. No, no,

no, III may not have it. And you know, I think the stuff that let me see it's, yes, it's some traits, but, you know, it's more just like ADHD. Yeah. And so now I don't think you have it. And so yeah, that's that. So enough on I guess enough on, you know, the what autism is, if anything, let's just talk about a little more about your achievements. Because ultimately, that's what this show is about. So, of course, you took the courses on Team Tony Robbins, Toastmasters, it taught you how to communicate. I do want to go back a little bit more, though. You're I know in college, you graduated college, right?

Yes.

And wow. Oh, wow. So what's your degree in business? Business Administration?

Wow.

Sweet

wait,

how long ago? Is that when you graduate?

1981.

How cool how cool. And ah you I know you grew up with a lot of bullying in school, but like how? What academics did challenge for you? Oh, did you do very well?

Yes, No, no, no, no, they were definitely challenged for me. Math. And math was my worst. Like, math was like Superman is Superman. Superman's kryptonite.

Yeah, a lot of people have autism, they did really well in math. I mean, and it's not everybody like academics also very, you know, some, some can calculate numbers so easily and others may they can write a story without thinking about it. You know, so it it's different and so yeah, math was a struggle and you know, any any others?

Well, actually, I was more focused on business courses. So so so science and math do what I was not I was not good at but but if you but when I was in college, I had a B plus average in any business class and you'll see plus average in science and math and and and all the other stuff that they force you to take to be a quote unquote well rounded person even though a lot of cases yet we're not going to use that ever in life. But no. Education system works.

Yeah, yeah, it's so late. It's yeah, it's so you know, because honestly, that's why I didn't finish honestly, I went to college, but I didn't finish because you know, it. I just I just couldn't sit through lectures and just No, right daddy all the time. And, you know, I you know, a degree doesn't guarantee you a job here.

No, it doesn't.

And that's why we're entrepreneurs. Now. What this podcast we are going to play a message of hope, and we are going to rake in a lot of cash. That's right, Tyler. Oh, yeah.

And then I can help other people like my family. Yeah,

exactly. And, and yo and, and when I'm when I'm talking to be known as the acronym King.

Whoo.

So literally, so. So literally, here's what here's what disabled stands for in my mind. Dedicated, intelligent, special. Amazing. Blessed, loyal. Excellent and determined.

Yeah,

there you go.

What about the i l i t y?

Well, I was doing, I was doing it with with less letters.

Oh, yeah.

So, so yeah, I mean, so yeah, of course she's struggling academics for school, but of course, you got through them just like everybody else. So the, I guess the, the, the tipping point. The height, the pinnacle area, in your journey, living with your condition, I guess was after you were diagnosed? Am I correct?

Exactly. Right. Because then, because then the pieces the pieces of the of a proverbial jigsaw puzzle. Oh, all started coming coming together. And I saw, you know everything. Yo. Very clear. I mean, yes, a lot. A lot clearer. Not very clear. That's bad English. gave me permission to be human. Human. Yeah. And what I say is when people make make mistakes, that's my that's why I typically say, Who gave you permission to be human?

We're all human. That's what humans do. We're not perfect.

Exactly. Right. Right. Right.

Exactly.

Right. But that's but but that's the gentle way that I that I poke fun at people, you know, so so. So anything I say is not going to be is not going to be anything that any one would take offense to.

That's right. That's right. And, and so yeah, of course. You know, once you were diagnosed, and you knew what was going on, you did feel shame and your, your, your, because a lot of people were gonna die live, they're so afraid of it get diagnosed. Because, you know, even people's families think, oh, my gosh, if my son or daughter gets diagnosed with this, this and this was mean, they won't be able to work, they won't be able to live a life as planned. No, no, it's not true. Yeah, they may have more limitations, but ultimately, a diagnosis. It's, it allows you to figure out who you truly are. And understand your framework. And if anything, improve your situation.

Exactly. And, and you can and then and then you determine, you know, how rather than going in through the the front door which me which of course doesn't work if you're, if you're if you have certain whatever's going on with you. You have to learn to maybe go into the back door climbing through the window. Jump over the wall, whatever. Yeah, yeah, right. Right. Um, and that's in essence what I've done. I literally, you know, well, that's what I did with Toastmasters.

Yeah, that's right. That's I was about to hit on that next. Achievement with Toastmasters. Your biggest achievement thus far is winning the highest award in Toastmasters. I mean, I'm extraordinarily proud of you of laying out because he would think he would take someone who's on the autism spectrum. And of course, communication and socialization does not become natural. Who would ever think that someone like that could win an award? And you you want it because of your dedicated hard work in my life.

There were there were multiple things. So So do you know how Toastmaster yours works. Yes,

it's a it's a, it's a worldwide club that consists of motivational speaking, right?

Well, it's not only my mode of motivational speaking once I hear sorry that I didn't want to cough and you're here. So, okay. So it's so so the governor of Hawaii, this is a governor who said that Toastmasters is the is the best and least expensive public speaking and leadership organization. This is the governor of, of Hawaii saying this. Okay. Now how it works is that is that everyone in a Toastmasters Club is a volunteer. And, you know, and then when people join, they have goals, and there's, and there's, of course, the new people and the senior people and the middle, and then people in the middle as well. And, and there's club officers, there's, you know, there's, there's people like the club president, who's in charge of everything. Yeah. And then there's and then the next and but the person with the most responsibility, and the biggest, and the biggest. And the biggest things to accomplish is, is the vice president of education, because they're because they're in charge of making sure everyone meets their speaking goals. Wow. Because in order for, for a club to to get Toastmasters awards, people have to complete speeches. Exactly. So I was so I was the Speaker mentor for, for for two different clubs. At the same time. I was both the President and the Vice President of education for two different clubs. Wow. That's right. And, and there's there's something called called President's Distinguished that's the highest award that Toastmasters corporate offer offers their clubs in both. And both clubs one President's Distinguished the year that I was leading them when they when they hadn't won anything. Zero award for a year before. Then also, thank you, I so appreciate that. And then I know people can't see your clapping because this is because this is a zoom call. We're doing this podcast is a zoom call. But I'm saying thank you because I'm seeing him clapping. Yeah, I just wanted to let the people know why I was why I was acknowledging him. Yeah, thank you. He'll make it here. And then, and then also, there was another award called the spark plug award. And the spark plug award was given to a person in in each area that had the most effect on not only that area, but that, but that but that district, I would literally yo give give trainings on how to how to be a better speaker for not only our club, but but district wide trainings.

That's right.

So they voted me the yogi's sparkplug award, and I have a plaque for that no that so

how cool, man, man, what an amazing achievement. And you, you are inspiring to every single listener who will be listening to this podcast, because you're giving them a hope you're given, you know, they may be in their darkest moment in life. But if you pulled yourself out, so Can everybody.

Absolutely.

I mean, you're bringing me to tears because you are happy to use you know, it's

exactly

you've done.

You. I'm sure you proved a lot of people wrong.

Exactly. That's right.

And that's what this podcast is about. You do not let anybody steal you away from your dream. pursue it. Right Tyler?

Yes, indeed. And So

oh, maybe we keep going.

Maybe one day I can do a podcast about me.

That's right.

In other words, what I've overcome,

yeah, maybe I'll just interview you,

Tyler. Exactly. Here's, here's, here's my suggestion. Okay. When I what I typically offer if I, if I have a good a good a good rapport people is is after they interview me. I make them the spotlight. And, and am Joe and then you know i I'm doing that with my friend Elizabeth and her friend because I was on their podcast and and I love that that smile on your face out there. It is so cool.

Thank you. Thank you.

That's awesome

Thank you. Thank you.

But But what I but what I live for is to see those smiles

that's yeah, that's me going. We can't see the smiles but we can hear them.

And and it's all about voice inflection.

It is, and that what what they teach you. In Toastmasters, one of the many things voice inflection Oh,

yeah, I

think I've heard of Toastmasters before, actually, one of our friends from high school who went to school with me, I think she was in it.

Yeah. And, and by the way, you know, what I do just to connect with people, is yo, they can go to my website, www.myautismgifts.com. Send me an email with me. And then I have a free 30 minute meeting with them. And I see if I can assist them with any of their goals, dreams desires. And and I see it and I see if there's a connection. Sometimes there is sometimes sometimes there isn't.

That's right.

That's right.

Well, and keep going.

Yeah, well, yeah. Thank you so much for sharing your website, because I was going to ask you to share it. Especially towards the end of the show. So it's yeah, myautismgifts.com. Because, yeah, you prove that you? You may be on the autism spectrum, but you have many gifts with it.

Oh, yeah.

I went, Oh, and by the way, one more here. Just because we're diagnosed with something I diagnose. Diagnosis is simply a medical term medical, whatever you want to call it. Okay. That's right. That's right. But a diagnosis is not a prognosis. No, I prognosis is what we develop for ourselves. And sometimes, yo, we, a lot of people don't know how to get out of their own way. They haven't been taught that they're still playing the blame game, or whatever. Or they have judgments and opinions in the first seven years of people's life. It's like a virtual virtual tape recorder. Oh, I choke on broccoli. Uh, you know, once in people laugh at me, so I show and they don't and they don't realize for next 50 years or whatever, that, that they that they hate broccoli. And obviously, this is an extreme example, but they hate broccoli because somebody laughed at them. Yeah. Yeah. Other show. So I have a gift of asking people their weight questions. So that to dig deeply, and get to the root, the root cause of what's causing whatever's going on in their life and, and then create a plan for them.

Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. It's about creating a plan and the fact that you're using your use, you're not consuming your disability disability, it's an ability and you're using it to help other people. That's the goal. That's a goal to do it. And that's where he is. And so, of course, I know, all of us, we only have so much time. So, Rob, I just want to ask, do you have anything else to share? Because if not, you know, I let's just go to closing remarks. So, you got the floor.

Okay, well show the bottom line. When where We're living life is that if we don't know, what's causing our our issues, if we keep attracting, I don't know, and abusive, you know, if we had an alcoholic father and abusive mother, if we I do have a boss who, who tore us to shreds, we don't know what judgments, conclusions we, we we developed as a result of that, right? Until we you talk to somebody like me, who's done 38 years worth of this stuff, oh therapist or whoever is so that they can they can uncover your gifts. Because we all have gifts, we don't always know what they are, because no one's had has taught us Oh, go to your My favorite book that I that I recommend to, to people is what color is your parachute? Because that they answer a bunch of questions. And they and they see what their what their God given gift shot. That's right. And then, and so. So it's so it's whenever I do these sorts of podcasts, my job, shall I say is to simply encourage people to reach out to, to anyone that they feel connected with, whether it be myself and your whether it be your pastor or minister, a good friend, whoever they can relate to whoever is supportive of them. And, and, you know, and we have to determine who that is. And sometimes we need to really do a specific filter, because people will listen to us, but they may not have the qualities to give us good advice. So make sure that you that you don't you look at my website, www dot autism gifts.com my autism gifts.com Yeah, my autism gifts.com That, that you talk to a pastor or a minister, a therapist, whatever, and and say what's on your mind, say what's blocking you? Yeah. Because if you keep yelling, if you keep applying for jobs, I don't know, 15 bucks an hour or whatever, you know, that that's because you may not have confidence in your skills. That's right. And, and confidence step stems from something. So that's why you talk to whoever you're talking to.

And that's why a lot of people like to work just 40 hours a week jobs, you know, they just are afraid to fail, you know, they don't want to go out there and, and take risks in the United States. That's not as you know, that's right. Talent. No.

Right. And if there's anything that I can do to support you, or Taylor or, or, or anyone, if I can't help you, my, my rolodex is really big, I have gobs and gobs of resources that I can point you to if I if if I determined that I'm that, that we're not a good fit. Because Because there's there's no sense in in in having like an oil and water relationship. Where where they're where their suffering.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, because you may not be able to help me but there's, he may know other resources that can make it makes perfect sense.

Right. And, and hey, if you if he if you entirely want to schedule a call, I'm all for that. You know, just go to the websites and email and go for them. Okay.

Sounds good.

Sounds good. Well, before maybe you can be a part of our team.

Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, I'm so glad Pog Palooza and speakers Playhouse exists because that's how our paths class we met on there and those events are epic. Kimberly Crowe. So awesome. Michelle Abraham, Braden wicked super awesome. And you know, they're, you know, they're helping me launch this podcast and I'm so looking forward to being at Parker Palooza October 19. And Rob, it'll be the right?

I don't know why. It's like a virtual event

or on Zoom. Yeah, you can I can send you a link, and you can register. You can, you can, you can be a regular attendee, which is five bucks, or you can be a VIP, where you can be interviewed on up to five different podcast and it's $197. So I could send you an affiliate link, and you can register it. But yeah, you should definitely come. It's October 19. It's gonna be awesome. And so yeah, that's that. And so, to close out, I asked every guest on my show. Anybody who's anybody who's listening to this? If they're struggling right now, and don't see that there's a way out. They're stuck. What, What can what can you what advice do you have to offer for them? What can you tell them?

reaching out and asking for help? Is not nice. Just a word not a sign of weakness? No, it's a sign of strength. Yeah. And because, because, yo, if people, you know, people might have shame, or blame or whatever they have, because, because they had a bad experience doing that, and they don't want to repeat the bad experience. But but but by not knowing, and you know, that they that they had that bad experience and not bad experience is controlling everything, then, then that's what's causing the issue. So thank you so much, so much, so much for that link. And it was my pleasure to be here. And it's, and one final thing. I get my energy i by assisting others and seeing their life grow. Oh, yeah. My passion. And that's my purpose. And, and keep going. No, you keep going. Sorry. Okay. So that's my passion. That's my purpose. And I hope to connect with as many people as I can, which is why I do these to really reach out and tell people, there is hope.

There, okay. And that's why it's called hope without sight, to bring sight to the helpless. And know let people know that there's help and you can achieve greatness. Because the end of the day, you only have one life to live, period. You. All you can do is live it to the far right, y'all.

Oh, and oh, and also, I know two people who are visually impaired. And I want to see and I'm going to weave and I'm going to see if they're interested in coming on your podcast.

Awesome. Yeah, who you know, anybody else, please send them our way.

And I'm not opposed to yo, being a co host here and there. Yeah. And assisting you and, and, and helping you grow your podcast. Because, because, because that's because when we when we reach out and we go and and we do selfless service. We never know who the universe is going to send us and how we're going to connect and how and how I can serve them how they can serve me and have a symbiotic relationship.

That's right. That's right. Our pro thank you so much for you know, offering your assistance you know to help us on this journey. We love that a great

yeah, so So hey, and one thing I always ends anything I do and people who who've been in clubhouse rooms rooms with me. And if you don't know what clubhouse is, yeah, we do audio only app we know about it. Right but but but the people who are listening may not say you got to say you Google what is clubhouse and it's an audio only app for both smartphones, you know, for both iPhones and Androids. But But what I what I always say is that and no, you're not a sheep. That's where sheep say that stance would be awesome as always. So so be awesome as always, or figure out what's why you're not being as awesome as you can be. By talking to whoever you talk to.

That's right. Exactly in that gay acronym. Well,

so I'll let you close out the podcast.

Well, Rob, thank you so much for agreeing to be on podcasts. hearing your story has been so remarkable. It's already uplifted me, and it's gonna outlive so many others. Everybody, please give it up for Rob. And please hit that subscribe button to stay tuned for more episodes. And also don't forget to download this podcast and share it with your friends. Thank you so much for being on here Rob.

And share it and and share it and share it with with with people. Who, who? Who? Who can share it with others.

That's right. Make it viral. Make it viral.

Because it's all about about creating a ripple effect.

It is yeah, it is. Well, it was pleasure to have you on here Rob.

And the person was mine.

So go out now. Ba ha ha day and like always, everybody. Stay blessed. We hope you enjoy this episode of help without citing with saylor Cooper and Tyler Evans and got a lot of takeaways from this podcast. We help you feel renewed, inspired and encouraged. Like you can just carry on and conquer the world.

Please hit the subscribe button on all platforms and tell your friends and family to do the same.