From Adversity to Empowerment: A Nurse's Story of Resilience with Lorraine Whyte | EP093

Hello, everybody. My name is Shannan Mondor, and I am so excited for all of you to be here on my podcast, fulfillment in faith today. My guest is Lorraine Whyte, and I must say, I had the pleasure of meeting Lorraine back in Gosh. What was that now Lorraine May of this year, yeah, may I was down in Dallas, and she is a part of a book collaboration, which she'll get into in a little bit here. But I had the absolute pleasure of meeting Lorraine, and I was pretty excited, because I was the only speaker at this event from Canada. And then I find out that Lorraine is a fellow Canadian as well, too, but she does live down in the States. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to formally introduce this beautiful woman, Lorraine Whyte, to fulfillment and faith. So welcome, Lorraine. How are you? I

am fine. Thank you, and thank you for having me. Shannan, I do appreciate that. Thank you.

I'm so excited. So what we're going to do here is Lorraine, I just want you to tell the audience a little bit about yourself, where you're from, and then from there, just basically go right into your story.

Well, my name is Lorraine Whyte. I am originally from Toronto, Canada. I grew up in Jamaica, and I returned to Canada, did my schooling, which I finished my schooling, my nursing in 1998 and from there, I traveled to United States in 2000 of the travelers, and became a permanent staff out of at a facility from 2000 to 2005 during that time, I've experienced so many different things there. Then I went traveling for another two years, and after that two years, I came back to the North Carolina. So I'm in North Carolina presently, and I worked at a facility for over seven years where I experienced a, not, you know, another full set of issues that I never thought that I would experience. And so with that being said, you know, here I am today. I'm in another position, completely different from where I where I was for seven years, and in, you know, much better than where I was. My experience have been vast. During my time. I have experienced good most of the bad experience. One of the things that I've experienced is lateral violence. Lateral violence in nursing is something that is not broadcast a lot, lot, and it's, it's another sort of bullying. And so they always say that nurses eat their young. And starting out, you know, during that time, you know, in the early 2000 I didn't have any, you know, either you know that sometimes you don't want to be, you know, talk to any kind of way or whatever, but you don't know you're coming from a new city. You come into a new city, a new country, a new facility. You have no idea of how they run things, and then how they view travelers. You know, they didn't view travelers. They didn't welcome travelers as well as they used to. So, you know, it was, it was different. You know, they would think that, you know, you're getting paid so much. And so they would sometimes give you the, you know, the high acuity patient. High acuity, meaning you would get patients that are having so much more complexity than other staff members. And so you would get those patient and then you would have a workload more than the others. Then you'll have people where they will talk about you behind your back, or, you know what I mean, they'll sit down and they will say certain things, they will demean you in certain ways. And then you you become, you know, defensive at times. And you have to have,

can I ask you something? Sure. So I know back in the day, when I was, when I was a lot younger, there was a lot of Canadian Nurses which were going down to the States because the pay was a lot more. Yes, was that one of the attractions for you to go down there? That's that's one question I've got. Now, Okay, question is, too, were you treated different because you were a Canadian nurse,

to be honest with you, those two questions, since I can go both yes and no, so that's the first question. Looking back at it now, is like the the cost, how they were paying? I think it was mediocre, but we didn't look at it that way. With a new experience. We were traveling back in Toronto. I. That time they were they didn't have permanent job position, like full time. It was always casual, or you have to be working. PRN, so you didn't have a full time position available when you can't you travel, then you have an opportunity to even choose your your shift, whether it be day shift or night shift. Or, you know what I mean, I had opportunity to choose date shifts, you know, the pay, the pay was okay. It wasn't something to write home about. But I thank God for that. You know what I mean, that we were getting paid, because over time, it gradually in. You know what I mean, change, um, in the sense of treatment. As a travel nurse, they would, they would treat you different. It didn't matter where you were coming from, because they think that you're coming in, you're taking their job, or you're getting paid a certain amount, not knowing that the company that brought you in, because you have to go through travel companies, agencies, not knowing that your travel company, they are the one getting the money, the vast amount of money that you you want to get a portion of it. So, you know what? I mean, they're not, they're not privy to that information, okay? But over time, I learned that that's the case. So you know, because over time, I did go back out traveling again for two more years, and I get to know more information about how the traveling industry work, and so that's how some of the things and they do treat travelers differently.

Okay, yeah, about that? You don't hear about that. No,

you don't, right? They treat travelers differently. And you know, during the time when I went back out after 2005 from 2005 to 2007 traveling. Yes, you the pay had increased during traveling, but I wasn't getting the pay that they think I was getting. It was a travel company that was getting it, but yet, still, you get that issue of that, oh, you know, we going to still give that. You know, you're not going to be treated this way. You're going to get the worst patient pro, you know what I mean? That's how, that's how it was perceived. You know, they don't come out their mouth and say it. And so you also run the risk of losing your contract if you even challenge them, you know, because then they will complain or say that you're challenged, and then they, of course, they will report you, um, because if you do

that, yeah, so they've, they've got a tight grip on you. You don't have anything

they they think that they didn't have they have control of you, but really, by right, you have more control because, but if you don't know your rights at that time, if you don't know your rights, then they will think that they have grip on you, because you do have a right not to be treated, be treated any kind of way. You do have a right to cancel your your contract if you think that it's like you've been treated a certain way that is not to seize, you know, not conducive to your health or to the patient's health. Mm, hmm. So you know. So a lot of stuff have taken place. And then when I came back to permanent, even when I came back permanent, the permanent staff, you know, still, the treatment sometimes are still the same, as though you you're a stranger. So, for instance, you know, oh, I'm not going to take report from her, or she don't do her job, or she don't do this, or they're not going to leave this for you, or they're going to do, you know, all this talk, or we're not going to put her in this position, or she doesn't have this, she doesn't have that, so it was always something. Or I'm intimidated by you. Why are you intimidated by me? You can I give me a straight answer? Why are you intimidated by me so all of that lateral violence, not knowing that's what they're doing. You know what I mean? They will sit around. They will discuss, even though I was part of different committees, that I have to be in leadership roles to bring across certain policies and procedures to them, showing them about service satisfaction, making sure that staff moral or good, you know, but yet, still, the way they were treating me was not right, and even though, when I asked the questions of certain things, they weren't able to give me straight answers, you know, Like, why is it that you're intimidated by me? They're going to give me an answer straight. Is it because I challenge you or, you know, I know my policy or my procedure of what to do, you know? So it was a challenge. And one of the things that took place because I was that type of person, when I went out for my maternity leave with my son, and was so to return, but I had a sick daughter, and end up being having a pregnant with my son. I spent a lot of my leave with my daughter, so when my son came, I had to be out also, because I end up being with. I could have gotten to a point of dying, so they had to put me in the hospital at 31 weeks. So I used up a lot of my family leave during that time. So I only had a couple I only had a couple more weeks, and I was still, I was still spotting of that time, you know what I mean. So I needed a couple more weeks to heal. And when I spoke with the manager and everything, it was where she said to call her back within a certain like within a week of me coming back, when I call her back, she will to let me know that my position was given away. That was devastating for me. It was so devastating for me because I was not expecting that at all. And you know, and then,

and they're not required to give you notice.

Well, when, when you have family relief, and they give you a certain amount of hours, so it comes down to if you run out of your hours, it comes down to the choices of the manager, whether or not they want to keep you or they want to let you go. So yes, and as a nurse, and you're thinking that you have someone that you know claim that they care about you over a period of time, that they would actually show that compassion, that empathy and everything, and not able to going through that. I was devastated. Exactly. I was devastated because of the fact that here I am as a nurse, we are showing compassion to patient, where the compassion towards each other. And so that was a big blow. Big blow for me, in the sense of, when you have your friends telling a girl you know that they don't care about you know that they I said, no, they care. No, no, no, you know. And you Lorraine, why you keep on going above and beyond, doing all these things, going to all these meeting and they don't care about you? I said, no, they do. They do, but at the end of the day, the proof is in the pudding. Yeah, you prove that you did not care. You prove that you you know what I mean, this is what the result was going to be because of all of the things that was said, all of the stuff that was said behind my back and in front of me, or even, you know, my word didn't mean much of anything. You know, you come to that conclusion that my position did not worth to be held. I wasn't able, I wasn't able to hold on to my position. So, you know, with that, that was one of the most devastating thing I experienced in my career over, you know, in that time to show that, you know, when some people say that they care, is not where they really care, it's just that they're saying it. You know what I mean, just because they say it looks good to say, or

a lot of times it's also to protect themselves. That

is true. That is very true. Yeah, that is true. And I went through that was a devastating moment for me. You know? I think it brought me into a state of depression at that time and trying to get through that, having my having my son at that time, and you know what I mean, him being at the age that he was, and I had to keep on looking for a position. The the system did not get rid of me, but my position was on in like my position with that was I was in was taken away from me, but I had to look for another position, and I had a certain amount of time to get that position. But thank God, I was able to get another position within this, the organization, um, but an other than an art, another facility, you know, so with that, you know, it was a learning experience for me that I never thought that I could ever experience, you know, as a nurse, as a person that is compassion towards others, as a person that care about people you know on a Whole, that you would in a in a moment of me having a daughter that is sick, be me being out of maternity leave in the hospital for five weeks, and then you taking my job. You know, at the time when I'm about to come back, you know, did not even call to say, Okay, I have to give your position away. It was when I call and find out you gave my position away. That was that was very hurtful. That was

changed you. And how did that make you look at the, look at the, the whole system, differently.

I know that it's not, it's not everybody's not like that. I know everyone is not that way, because if everyone was right that I would not have gotten a position working the system. So I, I had to look at that person as an individual. Of you say one thing, but you did not mean that. You say that you care, but really you did not you know you. You were only saying that to just protect your own self. You were only saying that. Because of you wanted more information. Um, you were trying to. They didn't have a they didn't have certain ways to get rid of me, per se, like policy, procedure, I'm breaking the rules, kind of thing. But this was the only way to push me out, yeah, so they didn't have to deal with me challenging their what they're doing wrong, or anything like that. So I didn't, you know, it was hurtful, it was hurtful, but I was with that experience. It had me to be putting up a block, like a block of, like my emotion, a block professionally, you know, it took a while for me to get back to a point of I'm I'm not going to let anyone you know have me to do that. I need to be authentic, no matter what I need to be, who I am, no matter what still be on the cautious side. But you know what I mean, still going to stand, stand for what I believe in, no matter what you know that was difficult. So

through that journey, is what you're saying now, what you learned the most out of that or or is there more that you want to add that you you learned so much from that. I

learned a lot from that moment. I learned a lot from this, my journey through and that was one of the most devastating moment I learned that, you know, yes, there are people that are going to say they care, but they may not care, but there's still people that do care. And I cannot judge everyone by that one experience that I went through that was hard, because when I went to the other position, I was I just went there. Just wanted to do my job, stay in my little corner. Don't want to, like be a part of any committee. Don't want to be a part of anything. I just wanted to be just in my corner and just Just let me do my job and go home and that, you know, that wasn't me. That's not who I am. I would like to, you know what I mean, make impact in be a part of like changes committees to help my unit to be better in in different ways. So, no, that was, that was that changed. That changed how I look at look at some people. That changed how I look at some leadership that you know is I'm not. I cannot take everything that you say at face value. I have to see, see your actions. You don't your words always don't mean anything. So

we all have these experiences for one reason or another, right? And when those experiences happen, we all also become very strong. What your strength you gained from that particular experience? Going forward,

for me, the strengths that I gained right at this moment, being authentic, being able to say that you know what type of leader that I want to be, what type of leader I don't want to be. You know what I mean, I can differentiate. I don't want to be a leader. That's going to say I care. But at the end of the day, I'm going to treat somebody like that, you know? So I want to be able to empower those, those individuals, to be who they want, support them in whatever situation that they're going through, you know what I mean, and guide them accordingly, instead of just pushing them out exactly

so any of these people that are listening to this, that are going through, that that are in nurses or in the medical field, or that that experienced exactly what you had gone through, what advice would you give them

for one when it comes to lateral violence, know your know your chain of command, know your policy and procedure, know the type of environment, your code of conduct for that facility, know that those type of behavior is not acceptable. Now these individual, whoever it is that is showing you those behavior. You can be you can report them. You can go to HR. You can let them, you know, let you can actually speak to the manager, speak to whoever supervisor, go according to the chain of Con. If it's where you have to go to HR, then you go. But it's like you do not have to put up with that type of behavior, because everyone deserve to be working in an environment that's a healthy environment that is treated on an equal level with respect, with dignity and loyalty. And you know, as human, we're all human, and we need to be treated as such. Mm, hmm, absolutely.

So through all of that, then where did you go from there?

So from that position, I went, I went to another position where it took me a while to get out of the hurt, out of the pain of what i. And through and I had managers that were encouraging, were empowering, were able to push me to, you know what I mean, another level, even though sometimes I did not want to do it, they would say, Lorraine, you can do it. You can do it. Let's, you know, do it. So they were encouraging, and

so that whatever took place in that old and toxic environment, because you can change and become so strong you actually went into an environment that you longed for, right?

So it was an environment, and now I'm in another environment, because they were able to that environment was able to push me to get another position to where I am now, working from home and in a position where you know more, there's more autonomy and managers, or flexible managers, or receptives, and they're they, they listen to what you know, what I mean, what you're saying, what is concerning to you. And hence, also, you know, me doing leadership, leadership coaching, you know? So that's another part of what it is that, you know, I mean, it's leading me to so I did not thought that I could be a leadership coach. I thought that this is always where I would be like, Oh, I would be a unit manager a business. But now, if this is where I want to do,

that's beautiful. So that's my final question that I have to you. So where are you now in life?

Where I am now? I am now in the process. I'm a certified life coach, leadership coach. And I am in the process of also speaking, public speaking classes, completing that, trying to get that completed. I have written co, co authored three books, one with you, yes. And I have also done a workbook along with AB so for me right now, you know, I'm working at the unit utilization review, Nurse reviewing patients chart, which I love doing. So everything is just falling into place. And both, you know, over time, able to provide podcasts or ebooks or classes for those who wants to be guided through what it is that I have learned over the years for leadership, you know, as I go and do public speaking along that line.

Mm, hmm. No, that's absolutely wonderful. Yeah. Okay, so do you have actual coaching programs available for people to take from you now? Or you're in the know of creating that?

I'm in the process of doing that. I'm in the process of creating and going along trying to get consultation of doing different things right now. So whether it be, yeah, podcast, ebook, or, you know, doing the online classes. Okay,

so I just want to be sure. So when you do have those classes available, will they be able to reach out through you? You'll have it all over your social media,

right? I will have it on my social media or my website, which is www, dot coach Ellie com, okay, perfect. Or by my like Facebook page with it, Coach, I see coach Ellie leadership, Coach

perfect. And just what she had mentioned as well is going to be all in the podcast notes too. So that's that's wonderful. So if you want to follow her on on social media, you'll be able to go right there and click the link and then just press follow on that. Yeah, so, but I want to thank you so much for being a part of my journey and coming on to this podcast, fulfillment and faith. And what I want to let the audience members know too, if you know somebody that is experiencing exactly what Lorraine had went through, because I do believe it's quite common out there. Is it? Not Lorraine?

It? Is it? Is it is very common. And people don't speak about it because they think it's, you know what? I mean, no one will listen, or they get retaliation, negative retaliation about it, and so no one speak about it, and but it's okay to speak about it, because they should be having an environment that is, you know what I mean, healthy, healthy environment, and not a hostile one. Yeah,

I agree as well, too. And you know, it's that fear that takes over us, yes, that the only way we can change that is, is by going forward and starting, and that is true, and it is true, yeah, for sure. So once again, Lorraine, thank you so much for everything, and I just I loved every minute of it. Thank you so much.

Thank you for having me, and I wish you well.