Twelve-Step Program

Hello and welcome. I'm your host, Joseph Devlin, and today we're going to continue reading out of my book, A Step Out of Darkness, chapter nine. What is this 12 step program? So let's get at it. If your loved one is adamant that they will not go to a 12 step program. Please make sure they are staying connected and account in an introspective program that includes a socio cultural component as well as addressing the health of the mind, body and spirit. Aa takes the stance that they are not the only way to get sober. However, it has worked for millions of people. If your loved one is in a 12 step program but is refusing to do the steps, then I urge you to set a boundary with them. If a person went to an inpatient facility and continue to use we wouldn't be okay with that. Then we ought not to be okay with our loved one, bypassing the steps while going to a 12 step program. Okay, I'm going to stop reading there today.

1:13

I think this part of the reading is extremely important, because the first thing I want to say is that as of today, there's over 200 step groups out there in the world.

1:27

And so what that means is that it works. And I also want to say is that the 12 step program also says they're not the only way to get sober. However,

1:41

it is one proven method to do so. And

1:47

when looking at this long term change, for most people that I know, they may be able to stop for a little while, but the difficulty was staying stopped, and within a 12 step program, it's going to address the mind, body and the spirit. Now, if you stop ingesting a substance in your body automatically, right? Your body is going to get better. It's going to feel better. You're going to stop ingesting that toxin in your body. Your mind will start getting better, because it'll start feeling a little bit clearer, and also your spirit is going to is going to get better as well. This may occur by just seeing colors a little bit brighter, being more connected to those, as well as also feeling a connection to the people around you, knowing that you're supposed to be living in community with one and one another, and feeling that interconnectedness. So stopping the substance is extremely important, but now it's how do we stay stopped? And when you get involved in a 12 step community, there's that, there's that, that socio cultural component. See, everybody has that common bond. That common bonds that, hey, listen, we're going to stop this substance. So there's your foundation. You can always go back to that you may disagree with. How

3:12

you get there, what

3:13

you do, however,

3:15

you can always come back to the fact that, hey, listen, we just need to, we're going to continue to stop, and we're going to and we're going to have our lives get better on this mind, body and spiritual plane. Now I just want to reiterate this is that, you know, I think many of us understand that, like, once we get a little bit of momentum in an area, we can it's the it's natural for just the human being to stop doing the things that got us to where we were. And, you know, just think about it. If, for many of us, we've, we've tried to lose weight, or we've tried an exercise program, and in the initial impact of this, the initial start of this. You know, our body starts to feel better, and our mind starts to feel better, and honestly, we become more spiritually alive. We have more energy. We you know, we're just excited about life. However, if we don't do anything to kind of nurture that change, you know, whether, if it's in like weight loss and we're looking at the food that we're putting into our bodies, if we don't change up those recipes and are conscious about that, then we tend to fall off of that, that weight program that we've been looking at. And it's the same thing with exercise. If we don't kind of change up a little bit of the things that we're doing exercise, why? Like, we're not nurturing that we tend to kind of fall off of that and and for those of you you know who've who've done that, I've been guilty of that myself, I know exactly what I mean. And for those of you who've continued with like a weight management program as well as an exercise regimen, you know it to be true that. Was the kind of spices and the things that you did to continually keep this engaged and nurtured along the way, like the things that we did a little bit differently to stay concentrated on the food that we were eating, or the exercises that we were doing. And I want to say is that's really the the a huge component of the 12 step program, and that's why, you know, there's over 200 groups now today, as we're speaking, that have have mimicked the 12 step program. So I know many of you may never have, actually, you know, read the steps before. So I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna read them today here, and I'm going to read them straight out of Alcoholics Anonymous. That was the founding of all the 12 step programs. So here they are, the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. One. We admit it, we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable. Two came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Three made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the care of God as we understood them. Four made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Five, admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Six were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Seven, humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings. Eight made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them. All. Nine made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10 continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 11 sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out. 12 having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles and all of our affairs. So today, I'm not going to be able to break down each and every one of these steps, but I want us to think that, you know, this is a common bond. Like I said, when you enter a 12 step community, you have the foundations. You have that common bond of saying, Hey, this is what we're going to stop, you know, and we're going to be sober, and then, hey, here's a program to continue to have that long term sobriety. And when we look at the beginning of these steps, it's it's saying, Hey, listen, I acknowledged that. Hey, I had a problem. There was something going on that was causing problems within my life, whether it was with relationships or at work or by spiritual malady, and I tried to fix it in other ways. And I just said for myself, I know, you know, there was periods of time where I would just drink wine, or I would just smoke pot, and trying to think that that would be the thing that would change. And even, you know, I went through periods of just abstinence of putting things down for a while, but I always kind of went back to it, because there was nothing that I had that was that was stoking that fire of change, that that was just nurturing what I was doing so I could continue to grow in a in a path that was a positive path where I was being able to change my Life, which is what I was looking to do. And so there's that piece where we have to look at that, you know, and then there, there's this thing where it says, okay, hey, you know, when looking at this, the steps in itself, it starts involving other people. And I'll say this a bunch of times, but, you know, there's the saying that, hey, listen, you can't solve a problem with the same mind that created it. So a lot of times, we don't have the ability to just be the only person to solve the problem. And with this, these steps, is giving you a guide to be able to do this. It's also in the fact that it gives you the opportunity to take this moral inventory of ourselves. So really, the what are the positives that are going on in my life? What are the negatives that are going on my life? What are like those characteristics that I have, and where have they served me well, and where have they not? And as I'm taking a look at that, I'm starting to get that introspective look about myself. Who am I as an individual? And just like anybody who runs a business, many of you out there run businesses, and it's like you take stock of what you have in your company or in your store, right? You take it. Hey, here are the things that I have. Here are the things that I don't have. Here are the things that sell well, here are the things that don't. Here's where I need to increase. Here's where I need to decrease. You know, it's like, who doesn't count the cost before we're doing things. So it's really important to be able to do that. And as we kind of

10:17

move along in this,

10:20

you know, in this process, you know, we also, you know, we're making these, these. We're continually nourishing, nourishing this. I mean, this is definitely, hey, nobody really wants to take a look at themselves. Change is one of the, the greatest difficulties many of us have in life. And I speak for myself when I say that, like, if it's, you know, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. However, like, if we're stagnant, it's going to become broke. And this is as you're in between, like intertwining in between these steps, you're starting to see these mind in this, in the this mind and the body and the spiritual awakening. And to me, I just say it's like, that's mindfulness that we hear a lot. It's like, okay, how am I getting connected? I'm starting to understand who I am and how I operate in this world. And as I continue to move on, it talks about hey, like, Hey, let me. Let me take a look at like, Hey. Did I harm people in my life? And everybody I've worked with an addiction is steeped in shame and guilt, and they feel horrible about some of the things they have done to people, and some of them that have been underneath, underneath the influence of a substance, and they didn't even really realize what they were doing at the time. But even when they came around and started finding out about it, they were horrified that they had done this. And some of them even knew, you know, and so it's like, how do you make that right? And then there's other folks, you know, there's things that happen in life that it's like, Hey, man, I know I was choosing the substance over this, like getting out of, you know, family obligations, or doing anything of that nature, or skipping work just so that they could participate in their in their addiction, like where they had to feed the addiction. And you know, how do you make that right? And in this process, it allows you to do that. And I love the you know, the saying, you know, wherever you go, there you are. So we can't just run away from who we are. And the 12 step program, I know, is one of the reasons why it's so popular, is because it allows people to take that look at themselves to it's how free Do you want to be, you know, that opportunity to really make things right in the world and not have to look over your shoulder anymore about the things that that you know you made mistakes. And then if you could go back to that, that point in time and and do something different, you would. And, you know, but you have to be prepared. These steps are in order for a reason, and you have to be prepared mentally, physically and spiritually before you're going to make an amends. Because, quite frankly, there

13:10

may be somebody who's not really,

13:14

you know, happy with what you did, and they might not really care that you're sober now, and they may some things, say, some things that really hurt you, and if you're not on a good spiritual plane, this could be the thing that could take you back out. This could be the thing to make you make bad choices. This could make you just stay stagnant, you know, continue to believe those lies about yourself that you're this bad person. Hey, listen, you made some they made some bad choices. That doesn't mean that you you're a bad person. And so as as the the program goes on, more these steps, you know, it talks about, you know, hey, listen, there's a way there. There is a way to continually be mindful. Hey, there's a practice that you can do to be mindful, body, mind, body and spirit, and we're all searching for that. And there's nothing better than to actually be in the present, but be in the present without working for it, where it just becomes natural for who you are, and it's going to look a little differently for everyone, on how you get there, and what that's going to look like and and what are the the things you want to participate in, what are the routines you want to put into your daily life? You know, who are the people that you're going to want to stay connected with? What are the readings that you're going to want to do, it's going to all look different for each one. So it's individualized in that sense, however. You know by going through all of these steps, it guarantees you that you're going to have a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps. And the idea is to carry. The message to other people, to give it away, what you've received, you know, what you've freely received, give it away. And also to practice these principles in all of our affairs. And you know, this is a set of, you know, 12 of these principles. So really, knowing, you know that this is, this is available for somebody, you know, for somebody say, I'm not going to do the steps because I'm not comfortable with it. I'm just going to do the steps. Is almost like robbing themselves of this opportunity. Because if you have the option to really know what your assignment is in life, you know, and and to make things right in the world around you, meaning that, like this world that you know, we're hungry to live in and then to enjoy.

15:55

My question is, why would you not do that?

16:00

You know, and I do know the the easy answer to that is that it takes some work. And you know, my encouragement for you again is to, if you know somebody who's in a 12 step program, encourage them to engage in the program in itself, which is the steps. We begin with these steps. And for you, you know, if you know somebody who wants to know more about the steps, or please reach out to me. I'm happy to talk with you about that. If you you know, if you know somebody who you know, who's like, I'm definitely not going to get involved in this 12 step community, but I want to change my life. Please outreach to me. I have worked with plenty of people who have said, There's no way I'm doing the 12 step program. But I want to change my mind, my body and my spirit. I want to have that continual growth absolutely get connected with me. I've worked with many of people where we've had just really long sustaining change, positive change, and that affected themselves and the community around them and their family. So it is possible. We just need to be intentional about what we're doing. So please reach out to me. So I want to thank you for listening, and please pass this message along to anyone that you think who would benefit and until our next episode, remember sobriety is a family affair.