The Addiction Impact on Society

Joseph B. Devlin: Hello and welcome. I'm your host, Joseph Devlin. And on today's show, we're gonna read parts of chapter two of my book, A Step Out of Darkness. So let's get at it.

Statistics show one in three Americans is affected by the disease of addiction, and only 10% of those addicted receive any form of treatment. Simply, if you are not suffering from addiction yourself, you almost certainly know someone who is. I know you are aware that this epidemic is devastating and shredding the fabric of our society. However, I believe it is necessary to examine a few points. Addiction has reached a height of epic proportions. It is more common for a person to die from a drug overdose than from a car crash. Addicts are not isolated in one sector of the population. They touch on races, nationalities, economic situations, political lines and family ties. I know that either you or someone close to you will be impacted by addiction. If someone you care about is struggling with an addiction, take action now, as you may not have the option to later. There are many myths and opinions that surround the causes and conditions of addiction. No matter what your philosophy of why addiction exists. It's extremely prevalent, and it is devastating our society. This epidemic is not going to disappear very soon or by itself. By all projections, it's only going to get worse. Addiction destroys family relationships, legal systems, finances, people Spirit and deep meaningful relationships, and effect, ripping the very fabric of our society. Knowing what I know, I can no longer sit quiet. I want to share my years of experience and knowledge related to the challenging, confusing and sometimes overwhelming process of getting a loved one into treatment. I am on this journey with you. And we need to plant our flag and solve this problem. One small step act of love act of random kindness to help improve an individual situation may be all that it takes to facilitate the paradigm shift needed to help someone enter the world of recovery. The impact of addiction is overwhelming. In 2015, more than 27 million people in the United States reported current use of illicit drugs or misuse of prescription drugs, and more than 66 million people. That's nearly a quarter of the adult and adolescent population reported binge drinking in the past month. It is estimated that the yearly economic impact of substance misuse is $249 billion for alcohol misuse, and $193 billion for illicit drug use. These staggering statistics leave many people hopeless. The bottom line question I hear is, where do we start? What can we do? We start by loving the person in front of us. As you will see in this book, our traditional idea of love will take on forms that we may not be used to. I write this book because people in addiction seem to know more about how to get into treatment than those trying to help them. Many times this allows them to manipulate a system or the loved ones attempting to help them after reading this book, you will be on an even playing field with the professional, your loved one, and anyone supporting your loved one through treatment.

Alright, I'm gonna stop there. So reading this section of the book, some of the things that jumped out at me in this chapter is that in 2015, more than 27 million people in the United States reported current use of illicit drugs or misuse of prescription drugs. And more than 66 million people reported binge drinking in the past month. The economic impact is $249 billion and $93 billion. Those are just amazing statistics. And it seems to me when I hear it, they become overwhelming. They become like what can I possibly do? Where could I make a dent in this? And it also resonates with me like wow, if we just accepted this as a society. We're one in three Americans are affected by this. It's almost like I feel at times that we've given up and we've said all right, well, this is just the way it is. And to me that's not not acceptable. And because I know I have seen families change, I have seen lives, I've seen individuals lives change, I've seen families lives change. And I don't think that it's something that we just have to say, Hey, this is the way that it is. But I do know, I mean, I'm guilty of this is that this doesn't change by us trying to beat somebody down with something, such as like, by doing by telling people, you must do this, or you must do that, this is going to be something that's going to change over a period of time by saying that we love the person that's in front of us. And I put goes into, hey, listen, love comes about many different ways. It's not the, the traditional way that many, many people think of love. And I often say is that I know, as a society, we often think of love as a lust. But love is really an action. And that can be anything from buying somebody, a candy bar to sitting down and listening to somebody, and then to the even more difficult things, is telling somebody what they don't want to hear. And I'm so grateful that I have people in my life today that are going to tell me things that I don't want to hear, because it's the only way I'm going to become a better father, husband, brother, friend, and uncle.

So when I talk about the finances, and then it's ripping apart our society, it's it's destroying relationships, Astrup strong families, it's destroying our judicial system. And it's having that huge financial impact. And it's just coming from that addiction. And I know that my, my experience teaches me that, that when the family unit comes around the individual, that that person has long term sobriety. I know that when we look at the world out there, I say to myself, Man, the family unit is getting torn apart in so many different places. However, one thing I have experienced with is addiction. And I know that I can share with you, hey, here are some ways that I've been able to repair relationships within families. So let's get back to that family unit, and begin helping that person in addiction. That's family sobriety, now, sobriety, clear and rational thinking. And when I'm thinking about this, and I say, okay, hey, listen, you know, one thing I've learned in recovery was, when I, when I have a word that really resonates with me, or I'm curious about, go and look up the definition. So I just want us to think about like family sobriety now. So family, the definition, when I look it up, it says, a basic unit in society, traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children. And then another part of that definition is a group of individuals living under one roof, and usually under one head. And then another third definition is a group of people united by certain convictions, or a common affiliation. When I look at those definitions, I think about that part, the basic unit and society, so the family, let's come back to the table as a family unit to help our loved one in addiction. And for many folks that I work with, that concept is so far out there, because they're in the midst of chaos for others. People that I work with, it's, Hey, we were in the middle of treatment, what do we got to do? And then for others is like, Hey, listen, we're at a treatment. And we're kind of losing a little traction, what what can we do to kind of rebuild that, that family unit? And I want to go back to this idea that hey, listen, if the family units, the basic unit and society and I'm saying that addictions destroying society, okay, what can I do to build up some of that foundation. And I'm going to start by saying is, hey, what's the values you want to have in your family? And I'm gonna challenge you to write down at least five to 10 of them. And just write down what you feel as a value for your family. And let's take the things off the table and say, Don't worry about whether or not you have them.

Now, let's just say, hey, here's a value that I want to have for my family. And look, it doesn't have to meet with whatever the society is telling us, or is what is acceptable by society. I just want to know that you just want to know what it is that you want to have inside your own family, because that's also going to drive a lot of the decisions that you make a lot of the conversations that you make, and a lot of the expectations that you have. So write down those facts. Now, other things that I want to say is Work is part is that family. In that definition it says, a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation. Okay, so part of that convictions were looking at values. But another part that I want us to think about is like, Okay, what am I doing as a family, I know that one of the quickest ways to rebuild that family unit, or to strengthen it from where you are, is eating dinners together, any meals that you can eat together, go ahead and do this brings your, obviously your family together. And you at least have the one common bond of eating today. I know so many families that I talked to who are eating on the run, we're getting pulled in so many different directions that we do not take the time to schedule, time to eat together, we erect we allow those other things to dictate in our lives, you know, go into this practice or that practice, or, you know, this meeting or that meeting. And at least, you know, the dinner table seems to be the easiest one to do. So, begin scheduling. And I know for many of you say, Hey, listen, man, that's so hard for me to do. Listen, my loved one won't even come to the table. Doesn't matter, just set the table, even set a place for them at the table, if they're not going to show up and have the rest of the family sit down together. And when you're sitting down at the dinner table, just remember, it's the conversations can be very easy and fun. And I always say start out light and easy. You conversations, depending upon your values, you know, can have anything from Hey, what was your, you know, what was your favorite thing to do today? Or tell me something funny that happened to you today. Or tell me something funny that happened at school today. If any of those questions resonated with you, and your family members responding, just say, hey, hey, tell me more about that. I just let them talk. You know, the best conversations that I have around my family table, is when I'm not talking as well, when I'm doing the least amount of talking, because that means my children and my wife are talking and we're, we're sharing with one another life. I think maybe these family dinners are something that you do on a regular basis. I mean, other suggestions that I have for you is like family game night, or if or you know, a movie night, something that you can do that becomes the rhythm of you in your family. And again, these can be different, and they don't have to meet the societal norms. And don't be, don't be afraid to do things that the society is telling you you can't do. For example, for example, I remember hearing the idea like, Hey, don't have any screentime during the week. And, you know, for our kids, and boom, that was something that we've we've instilled in our family. And as a family unit, that's what we do. And it has really helped us engage with one another. Another way to quickly establish a family unit is attending church together, your church together, or your temple or synagogue. Because the family going together, you're automatically going to have time in the car together, you're also going to be at the same place together. And if your loved one is sitting in church with you, you're hearing the same message. So it gives you further things to be able to discuss afterwards.

And I know for many of you say Well listen, you know, I don't want to force anybody to go to church, we fight in the car. So you could set the tone that's in the car by listening to certain music or having certain questions ready just to discuss in the car on your way over there. But you will set the tone for that. And even if you say hey, listen, I know that my loved one wants nothing to do with going to church, it's okay, like, still have them go. Because even if they're there, they're going to be hearing a message. And that message is going to be one of hope it's going to be one of inspiration. They may not hear it now, it may not land for them now, but it is part of that spiritual change that they are going to have for the long term. And for those who have that spiritual grounding already, but are still just fighting through the addiction and not thinking that they're worthy enough, hopefully what they'll continue to hear when they go to church is that they are worthy enough, and that God loves somebody who's constantly in a pursuit. So again, I know that that could be a stretch for many folks. Let's just start somewhere in your family that will be a rallying point for everybody be to be together. And that's where I go back to this suggestion of, of eating together. And again, if it happens to be a lunch, even if somebody's you know, refusing to join you at this point in time, just set the table as if they're there and have everybody else meet their laugh and have a good time. Have the focus being light conversations, laugh as much as possible, because that's inviting, you know, and it's not threatening It's It's loving. And that's that love and action. Remember those things that we can do? You know, when I talk about love being an action, we do things like buy somebody particular candy bar, we hold a door open for somebody, we simply write a note to somebody saying, like, Hey, I hope you have a great day. And always remember like that love and action. Just even seeing even like, you know, when it's really hard to you're struggling with your loved one or your family member, as just the simple words saying, Hey, I'm glad. I'm glad to see you. Because it could be the very thing that just shifts and change. Their focus is grateful the fact that they're seeing, and this is the other thing, this is one of the many things that I look at reestablishing that family unit. Because, again, it's the basic unit of society, and I look at addiction is ravaging our society. I want to be able to help you reunite your family.

So I'm grateful that you were here with me today. And on our next episode, we're going to continue to talk about chapter two. And until then, remember, sobriety is a family affair.