Life is Short, Shift Happens: Living a Super-sized Life in Unexpected Mini Moments | Ep 191

I imagine getting up every day full of energy as if you were in your 20s again. What would that be like? What would that be worth to you? What is your health worth to you? Think about it, your health isn't everything, but without it, everything else is nothing. And yet, too many of us are taking it for granted until something goes wrong. No one wakes up hoping to be diagnosed with a disease or chronic illness. And yet we've never been taught how to be proactive in our health through our school system or public health as a registered health coach and integrative health practitioner, I believe it is time this information is made available to everyone, combining new knowledge around your health and the ability to do my functional medicine lab tests in the comfort of your own home will allow you to optimize your health for today and all your tomorrows. Don't wait for your wake up call. Welcome back to another episode of The don't wait for your wake up call Podcast. I'm here with another special Podapolooza episode with the lovely J Lumen. Welcome to the show.

Thank you, Melissa. I'm excited to be here, and I love the title of your of your podcast, too. Well. Thank

you. I'm excited to have you here, and because it's a Podapolooza episode, I don't have a bio from you here, so I would love for you to introduce yourself, and that's let's dive right into it, because I love what you're doing here, the unknown bucket list. Flip your switch. We're going to have an amazing conversation. I know it,

yeah. Well, I'm just going to dive into my backstory, actually, because I think that will serve your listeners, but, but best, oh, tongue tied. So a number of years ago, I found myself trapped in the wrong relationship, at the wrong job, and kind of felt like I was stuck in a in a washing machine on agitate. I couldn't leave the job because I was in the wrong relationship. I couldn't leave the relationship because of the job, and I couldn't see way out. I just couldn't figure it out. And the reason I say wrong relationship is because if he had asked me to marry him, I would have said, No, yeah, kind of a clue. But I was financially responsible for the relationship, and so I felt guilty about kicking him out. Couldn't quit the job because of the finances, etc. So that's why I was trapped in my own life, and I just was beating myself up, why I couldn't figure this out, and I couldn't figure a way out of it. Eventually I realized that I could pay for him to go live with his family, which was four states away, and I did that. But then I convinced myself that the job I had just been complaining about that I hated. Was it really that bad? I mean, I didn't know what I wanted, so I might as well just stay with what I knew the money was good I already had, you know, I would have had to break the lease. Convinced myself to stay there. And that actually turned out to be the worst decision that I made, because two months later, said Boy drove over 1000 miles away, and there was a knock at the door, and it ended with his arrest for attempted murder mine. And that's shocking to hear, but it ties right in with that was my wake up call, because I had started to fix my life, and then I quit because I didn't know what I wanted, and even though I still didn't know exactly what I wanted, that was the literal punch in the face of you have a second chance. You started to fix your life. Life is short. You need to go start living now.

And that is very often what a wake up call is. It's exactly that go, start living now, do something different, right? Yeah, and we've had the signals along the way and we haven't listened, or we haven't taken enough action, which is exactly what you're explaining here. So while I'm sorry that happened, it happened for a reason.

Oh yes, absolutely,

you're here smiling in front of me, so I know that you look back at that with at least some degree of gratitude that it happened because it got you to where you're at today.

I My life is. My life is incredible since then, like once I started just moving and making changes. And you know, my life is, I never could have imagined this would be my life. And if that hadn't happened, who knows how. Long I would have tolerated the job, stayed where I was, did the responsible thing, didn't break the lease. You know, because we're as adults, we're told that we have to suck it up and tolerate it so many times and be safe. We don't have skills and

do what you're supposed to do and be responsible all of those things. Yeah, you can

still be responsible and live a happy life.

It's not one or the other, right?

And it's, you know, it's, it's about, it starts becoming about intentional decisions. You know, do I want this? Do I want that? And there's a there's a way to keep going and get to the life that you want that's not imprisoned by your means or your circumstances. And you know, I want to tell you, what I'm passionate about is I don't I don't want people to have to wait to have a life altering experience and before they start living a life that they don't regret because life is short, it's cliche, but it's true. And maybe your your listeners

don't just only one life in the sense that make the most of what you have now,

yes, yes. And maybe your listeners don't relate exactly to my circumstances, but everybody has had some sort of loss, some sort of tragic event, and if you haven't had that experience, thank goodness. But don't wait for that to happen before you start living your life, and that's why I'm here today on your podcast. Well,

I love it because it is absolutely beautiful alignment with the name of my podcast. And it's generally the generally we get to the towards the end, when I ask people, What does don't wait for your wake up call mean to you, and in your you've come right on at the beginning and and share that which I absolutely love that alignment. So you had your wake up call, yes, and you knew that you had to start living and you needed to do things differently in order to start living. So walk us through what you did next, because that's obviously brought you to where you're at today, where you're helping other people flip their switch, so take us through the next steps.

So even though that happened, I, like I said, I still didn't know what I wanted, but I knew I needed to take action. And something I did was I looked back at my past achievements. You know, we don't give ourselves enough credit for things that we've done Yes and we dismiss a lot of accomplishments as insignificant. And so I started looking back at, you know what my forgotten passions, what I used to enjoy doing, and I used that as a leverage to guide myself into a life that I live now, and it's just they're little mini moments that you collect along the way. And those are what you know life is unexpected, unplanned and random. We like to think we can control it, but we really can't. And when you start collecting those many moments that happen during the day, the unplanned and unexpected things that we used to dismiss as insignificant, we get this little collection of our life. And you know, everybody knows what a bucket list is, but for most of us, that bucket list is full of dreams and hopes that are never going to happen, because maybe we don't think that we have our means or our circumstances, it's actually the unknown. Bucket list is a way of uncovering the bucket list of life that you've already been living and then leveraging that to go build bigger dreams and find ways to make your goals and dreams happen and not stay imprisoned by your means or circumstances, because you might have a dream and think, oh, I don't have enough money to do it. I don't know the right connections. I don't whatever. But there's a way of thinking about it, and maybe it's not as glamorous as what you want it to be, but you could still accomplish that goal.

I love that, and it's it's so true what you said, that we don't give ourselves enough credit. And when you look back at your successes, that until you took the time to look back at them, they were not really acknowledged and therefore seemed inconsequential in your life. And that's also because those are things that, in many ways came easily to you, yes, and so that's your skill, excuse me, your skill or your innate talent, right? And. So that's what comes easily to you, that you can then go out and share with the world. Yes, and so that's how you shifted your life into what you wanted to do, based on figuring out what brought you joy, what came easy. And so often in life, we think we have to do things that are hard in order for it to be worthy or for us to be successful, and it's actually the exact opposite

well, and just to kind of go off of that, so we all don't give ourselves enough credit for what we've done, but you were just talking about doing things that are hard. Remember back when you were learning to drive a car, you sat in the driver's seat. You had to turn on the ignition. There was the steering wheel, there's the side mirrors, there's the rear view mirror, there's the blinker, there's the seatbelt, there's the windshield wipers, there's the radio, there's the gas, there's, oh my gosh, so much to learn, and you have to maintain a certain speed and getting on the interstate, you know, you have to time the stoplights and everything. You have to do so much when you learn to drive a car that it's overwhelming. But if you have a license and you drive a car, then you learned how to do and you can do hard things, yes, so you look back and and that's just a mini moment. It's just a micro shift in your thinking. And you can take that confidence, because obviously you can do hard things. You learn to tie your shoes, you learn to walk, you learn to drive a car. And now how many times do you go somewhere and you don't even think about driving the car, but you can take that confidence and you can leverage it and be like, I can do hard things and just keep going and make those changes in your life so where it's you know, you start living the one that you don't regret

exactly, and just a shift on that too, that I love, where you're going with this conversation, that I can do the hard things. I can learn hard things. And with practice, they become easy. They become, you know, when we get to that state of unconscious learning, right? We've practiced it so often, we can do it with our hands tied behind our back and our eyes closed, yes, however, we don't have to make things hard for ourselves, no, and that's what so often we inadvertently do when we get in our own way. Yes, and what you're offering people is shifting them out of that place.

Yes, because everything can be micro shifts exactly

into it a world of let's look at this differently, yes, and let's look at the possibilities when we look at it differently. Yeah, exactly. I love that. So did you? Did you move states? Are you in the same state you were in? Did you? Oh,

so I ended up moving from the East Coast to the West Coast. And one of the things that I did, I had a job opportunity, and I only had a few days to get there, and I could have flown, I had a place that I could have stored my car, but I couldn't afford to fly, so I drove. Well, I couldn't afford the hotels, so I slept in my car, and it's the first time that I slept in my car. Well, it took me three days to drive across the country, and then I had to return back at some point to the other side, to the east coast, and well, I slept in my car on the way there. So I did it once. I can do it again. And that eventually led to many road trips with many sleeps in the car, not because I had to, but it just opens this freedom and flexibility of okay, I want to travel well if I don't have the means, but I have a car and I can afford gas well now I'm not limited by whether I have a hotel room or not. I can just sleep in the car, and it's so it's it's not always glamorous, but you can still get the life that you want.

I love that, and also just the talk of freedom too, because when you don't even have a hotel booked, it's like you can drive as far or as little as you want in a day, and stop when something catches your interest and not worry about, am I going to get far enough in my day? And there is a lot to that, and it may not be glamorous, however, it's all a choice, right?

And it is. It's a choice. I've

slept in a minivan myself, and you know, there's different ways to do things, and it also glamor. Isn't all that it's cut out to be. There's so much adventure in doing things a different way there

is. And something that I go over with the new bucket list approach is, is like we address fear. And you know, we have such a fear of judgment. So people might be listening to us talking about, you slept in a minivan, I sleep in a car. And they're like, no, but we don't have a fear of judgment about it, because that's something that we enjoy. And it's like, okay, this is a challenge, and this is fun, and there's freedom and flexibility with it. And it's, you know, you can make compromises in your life, but as long as you're making the choice that you ultimately want, because you're the only one who is living your life, yes, and

that's what it really comes down to, is yes, being able to make the right choice for you. And that's true like even in the work that I do with people in their health and when I recently on this podcast, shared my recent health journey, and I wasn't saying that what I did is what everybody should do. It's what I did for me because it was right for me and other people are going to address their health journey in their way and what's right for them. I just want them to be aware that there's options out there they might not have ever known about. And yes, then they can make a choice that's right for them, and that's exactly the same here is living your life your way,

yes, making the intentional decision of, I want this. I don't want that, so I'm going this way, and it's not based on influence from family or friends or colleagues or fear or anything like that. It's because that's what you want, and it's, it's not something that happens overnight, but in little microschips, you can eventually get to that place where it's just like, Okay, come at me, life. I'm ready.

I can do this. So tell me more how you work with your clients. What does that look like?

I actually like to work with my clients one on one, and that actually ties right into what I was just saying about, about fear, because the point is for you to find your voice in your own life, and if you're in a group setting, you might feel pressure, you know, to Well, I want this, but I don't want to say it, because it might sound silly, or it might sound stupid, or, you know, you might have a fear of judgment from somebody, and hopefully once we have a rapport, you know, from speaking, hopefully they, they know I'm not going to judge them. That I genuinely want whatever it is that they want to go after. I want to help them get there and make the little micro shifts and just start living the life that they don't regret. Because we never know when our day on earth is going to end, and we're always going to want more time with family or friends, but if we've been living the life of doing the things that we want to do, then we're never going to say, Oh, I wish I had more time to go do that. So that's why I like to work with my clients, one on one. Is because then it literally is about them.

That's beautiful, and it is important to think about, you know, when our time is done, what are we going to say on our deathbed? Yeah, you know, nobody's ever saying I wished I worked harder right? I wished I lived that person's dream that they wanted me to live right? Those are never the things that are said. It is more about time with friends and family, travel, learning, following passions, etc, etc. So that's beautiful. I love how you're helping people really connect with themselves and who they are, so that they can live their best life.

Yes, absolutely, because we all deserve it. You know, nobody lives. Nobody deserves to live a life that they feel like they're tolerating like, Oh, I'm an adult, so I just have to suck it up and tolerate it. No, you you can make little micro changes. And you know, there might be some things, there's going to be good times and bad times in life. And so you know it's life is going to knock you down a couple times, but being able to just get back up and keep on going and not stay knocked down is that way you just keep getting the most out of your life. And yeah, it's good thing.

And let's face it, when we get knocked down, it's a learning opportunity. Yes, and when we learn, we grow. We're better for it, we're stronger. I know it doesn't feel like it in the moment, but it always does afterwards, once we've had the learnings, and then it's, you know, keep going on that path, and that getting knocked down might be something that's actually. Shifting paths for you because you're not on the path that is truly aligned with who you're always meant to be, and so it's redirecting you into that. So there's a lot of reasons that you know, we get knocked down in life, and it never feels good in the moment. However, they always reward for it after, yes, come through it

and and that's why I say that the on the unknown bucket list, you know, the the bucket list of life that you're that you're living the the good and the bad go on there, because if, if you have something bad, well, you either got through it, you survived it, you figured out how to navigate it. You give yourself credit for that, yes, and you know me as what you were just saying is that maybe it shifts you, and all of a sudden you're just like, Oh, wow. I didn't even know that I liked this or wanted to. You know, maybe you have to learn something new. Maybe you have to learn something about yourself, and it just opens up a whole new world. It's not everything bad, it's always bad.

And so it will exactly not everything bad is always bad. It feels bad in the moment, but very often back at it with some level of gratitude and appreciation, just like you could from your experience, which, in the moment, was absolutely horrific.

Yeah.

So when you're working with clients, are you, are you literally having them sit down and make a list of all of the experiences in their life that they can remember? And I'm sure that's a happens over the course of a period of time, because, hey, we've all had a lot of experiences. Is that how you get started with clients?

It is. It's actually so funny that you bring that up, because it's actually a free self assessment that is available to anyone. It doesn't mean that they have to work with me. It's just, if you need a little help, you know, some questions to help jog your memory about your past experiences in a variety of areas. And you know, once you start thinking about that, it just, it continues to grow. Once the shift happens, then you're you just continue down that path. And then you you start collecting many moments you you know, you take the many moments from your past, start building your uninbucket list, leverage it to go forward, and then you continue to keep collecting many moments. And that's how your life becomes supersized, because you're also then using that strength that you've found on how to make bigger goals and dream bigger and but the self assessment is how you get started, and then at the end of it, if somebody wanted some additional help, or, you know, to continue to work and move forward, that is an option. But basically it's, I just take you through several buckets and how to shift your thinking. And it's, it's all done in micro shifts, so it's very easy to implement and to into your life. Beautiful.

I love the idea of thinking of my life as many moments and moving forward. So if I know we had also talked about a free gift, I'm assuming that's your free gift. So if you would like to share with how people can access that and how people can reach out to you, if they would like to, that would be awesome.

So they can access the free self assessment. It's, it's a play on words. So it's, you resume your life.com or resume your life.com and so I kind of make a little joke that you can resume your life to start resuming your life this time, the one you decide that you want. So resume your life.com, and I'm on pretty much all the social media channels, under the unknown bucket list, Instagram, Facebook. You can find me on LinkedIn, under Jay lumen, and most of those also have a link to the resume your life.com website. So a number of

ways Wonderful. So I'll make sure those are in the show notes so everybody can access that. And as we wrap up here, it's been a pleasure having you on the show. I've thoroughly enjoyed this conversation and just thinking differently about you, know, your dreams, your goals, and how you've lived your life, and turning your micro moments into a powerful template for being able to move forward, building all of your strengths into that tapestry. So it's beautiful. What last words of wisdom would you like to share with the audience?

Do live like Life is short, but also live life life like it's long and you it's a matter of finding the balance in between. So that way, you're always living a life that you don't regret. You're always making intentional decisions about what it is that you want. And then it just goes back into what I was saying earlier about you're never going to when it's when your time comes. You're never going to need. More time to do the things because you've been intentionally living all the time.

That's beautiful. I love it. Thank you very, very much for coming on the show. I really appreciate it. And to my audience, thank you for tuning in each and every week. Really love having you come and show up and be interested in your health, your mindset, your life, and learning from all of the guests that I have on the show. And if something you heard today resonated with you, or you know someone in your life that needs to hear it, please share this episode. Thank you for investing this time with me on the don't wait for your wake up call Podcast. I'm so glad you joined in. If you can take two minutes to share this episode with someone you think can benefit and have a positive impact on their life. That would be wonderful. Please leave a review by going to your favorite podcast listening app and let me know what you enjoy or would like to hear more of it will support me in my effort to bring the possibility of natural healing to a wider audience, and help disrupt the sick care system we have today and make human health a global priority. Health is your true wealth.

You.