In this episode, I explore the energies of our emotions, the lightness of the emotions, love, joy & peace, vs the heaviness of emotions such as fear, anger, guilt, and shame, and how to move from those heavier emotions into the lighter emotion of love, even when it feels hard! I also touch on the 5 Love Languages, from Gary Chapman’s work, so that you can better understand how those closest to you like to receive love, so you can show them your love in a way that is meaningful to them, February is the month of love, there is no better time to explore this with your family. Click the link below to discover your love language:
5 Love Languages quiz:
https://www.5lovelanguages.com/start/
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Discover Your Toxic Load Quiz: https://welcome.yourguidedhealthjourney.com/yourtoxicload
About the Host:
Melissa is an Integrative Health Practitioner helping people get to the root cause of their health issues. Melissa neither diagnoses nor cures but helps bring your body back into balance by helping discover your “toxic load” and then removing the toxins. Melissa offers functional medicine lab testing that helps you “see inside” to know exactly what is going on, and then provides a personalized wellness protocol using natural herbs and supplements. Melissa’s business is 100% virtual – the lab tests are mailed directly to your home and she specializes in holding your hand and guiding the way to healing so that you don’t have to figure it all out on your own.
Melissa has been featured at a number of Health & Wellness Summits, such as the Health, Wealth & Wisdom Summit, The Power To Profit Summit, The Feel Fan-freaking-tas-tic Summit, and the Aim Higher Summit, and has guested on over 30 different podcasts teaching people about the importance of prioritizing our health and how to get get started.
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Imagine getting up every day full of energy is
Melissa Deally:if you were in your 20s. Again, what would that be? Like?
Melissa Deally:What would that be worth to
Melissa Deally:you? What is your health worth to you? Think about it. Your
Melissa Deally:health isn't everything. But without it, everything else is
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Melissa Deally:been taught how to be proactive in our health through our school
Melissa Deally:system, or public health. As a registered health coach and
Melissa Deally:integrative health practitioner, I believe it is time this
Melissa Deally:information is made available to everyone. Combining new
Melissa Deally:knowledge around your health and the ability to do my functional
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Melissa Deally:tomorrow's don't wait for your wakeup call.
Melissa Deally:Welcome back to the don't wait for your wake up call. I am your
Melissa Deally:host, Melissa de Li and super excited to be launching a
Melissa Deally:another theme this month. February is the month of love.
Melissa Deally:And some say money makes the world go around. But I would
Melissa Deally:love to see us get to a place where love makes the world go
Melissa Deally:around. Because as humans, our deepest emotional need is the
Melissa Deally:need to feel love. So I want to ask you to just stop and close
Melissa Deally:your eyes. Unless of course you're driving. And think for a
Melissa Deally:moment. What does the word love mean to you. And then think
Melissa Deally:about how does love feel to you think back to that first kiss
Melissa Deally:that feeling of floating the pitter patter of your heart, the
Melissa Deally:melting of your insides, the bursting heart, the smile on
Melissa Deally:your face, the warmth that spreads throughout your body. Or
Melissa Deally:maybe it's not even a romantic kiss. Maybe it's that first kiss
Melissa Deally:of your newborn. For the first time your newborn baby looks
Melissa Deally:into your aisle eyes and smiles at you with love in their eyes.
Melissa Deally:We feel all those same chemical responses in the body. Right
Melissa Deally:regardless of what type of love it is. It's it's just maybe
Melissa Deally:stronger in some forms than others. But the body is
Melissa Deally:responding chemically. And love is one of the highest levels of
Melissa Deally:emotions. And it comes with a lightness in our being right we
Melissa Deally:feel light, airy, like almost like we're walking on air. And
Melissa Deally:above love are in fact joy and then peace. Below love are many
Melissa Deally:other emotions, which you will notice get heavier as we move
Melissa Deally:down the list. And if we go right towards the bottom of the
Melissa Deally:list, we're going to find emotions like anger, fear,
Melissa Deally:grief, guilt, and shame is at the very bottom of that list.
Melissa Deally:There are other emotions in between. But I really wanted to
Melissa Deally:highlight these heavy, heavier emotions for you at the bottom
Melissa Deally:of the list knowing that you would understand that heaviness
Melissa Deally:that comes with them that feeling in your body of being
Melissa Deally:weighed down, bogged down, we are all energy and these
Melissa Deally:emotions are energies too. And when we carry around heavy
Melissa Deally:energies, it truly does weigh us down, we can feel like we have
Melissa Deally:the weight of the world on our shoulders. But when we instead
Melissa Deally:enjoy and live in a place of the lighter emotions of love and joy
Melissa Deally:and peace, we feel lighter as if we are walking on air. So how do
Melissa Deally:we move from one end of that spectrum to the other? Well,
Melissa Deally:that's life's journey, right? And all along the way we get to
Melissa Deally:make choices. And when we understand this, we can be
Melissa Deally:making better choices as we can put our decisions through the
Melissa Deally:filter of these lighter emotions and ask ourselves questions such
Melissa Deally:as, how would I respond if I were responding from a place of
Melissa Deally:love rather than judgment, dislike or disapproval? How can
Melissa Deally:I approach this from a place of love? Even difficult situations
Melissa Deally:can be approached With love. What does it mean to me right
Melissa Deally:now to approach this from love, not fear, or anger. And all of
Melissa Deally:this takes practice, right. And it just starts with awareness
Melissa Deally:that you can do this, that before you respond to a
Melissa Deally:situation, you can stop and just do a little check in and ask
Melissa Deally:these questions of yourself. And sometimes it can feel really
Melissa Deally:hard to approach situations from a place of love. Because those
Melissa Deally:heavier emotions are getting in the way, the anger, the feelings
Melissa Deally:of being unfairly treated, judged or hurt, or because of
Melissa Deally:past history of feeling, unjustly treated by others in
Melissa Deally:general. This happens in family relationships a lot. And perhaps
Melissa Deally:you've experienced this when it comes to family holiday
Melissa Deally:gatherings, you maybe you're wary of attending because you
Melissa Deally:don't want to see that someone who triggers you.
Melissa Deally:And you know, they will, because they always say something that
Melissa Deally:gets under your skin. And so that makes avoidance one easy
Melissa Deally:option, right. And many people want to avoid those scenarios,
Melissa Deally:or you go but you go with your backup or you go and you don't
Melissa Deally:really want to be there. And so we can start to turn that
Melissa Deally:around. If you're enjoying my content, and someone that wants
Melissa Deally:to step into being proactive in your health and learning more,
Unknown:I would love to invite you to join my membership
Unknown:community.
Melissa Deally:There's a link in the show notes for only 1999
Melissa Deally:a month, you get access to all of my content. And there's a lot
Melissa Deally:as well as weekly calls that you can come and get your health
Melissa Deally:questions answered.
Unknown:It's truly priceless. I'd love to see you join the
Unknown:community,
Melissa Deally:check out the link in the show notes. So there
Melissa Deally:are a few steps that you can take here to help you stay in
Melissa Deally:alignment with choosing love first. And that first one is
Melissa Deally:forgiveness. Now before you react and think why should I
Melissa Deally:forgive them, they hurt me, I didn't do anything, this is all
Melissa Deally:their fault. I want you to be open to the fact that
Melissa Deally:forgiveness is the key to liberation from being a victim.
Melissa Deally:Let's say that again. Forgiveness is the key to
Melissa Deally:liberation from being a victim. It doesn't make the other person
Melissa Deally:right. It doesn't condone their behavior. What it does is it
Melissa Deally:puts you back in control of your thoughts and feelings and it
Melissa Deally:frees you from the imprisonment of the pain. This is a choice
Melissa Deally:that allows you to move forward. Very often we carry these
Melissa Deally:painful experiences with us. And the only person that impacts is
Melissa Deally:ourselves. The other person doesn't even realize that
Melissa Deally:they've heard us or that we are still harboring the pain.
Melissa Deally:They've moved on with their lives. But we are stuck in this
Melissa Deally:place carrying the pain, resentment avoiding the person
Melissa Deally:and more. But when we forgive, we free ourselves from all of
Melissa Deally:that, to live our life from a place of love. The second idea
Melissa Deally:is to dawn your love bra or love cape for attending events where
Melissa Deally:you know, there'll be somebody who triggers you, I love this
Melissa Deally:one. The idea is that prior to going to a family event of some
Melissa Deally:sort where you know, you will see someone who triggers you,
Melissa Deally:you put on your imaginary bright red love bra, or your bright red
Melissa Deally:love cape. And this is super powerful as this bra or Cape
Melissa Deally:will protect you. You see, only love can enter your body through
Melissa Deally:this protective layer. It repels all other emotions back out away
Melissa Deally:from you. And only love can come out of your body via this love
Melissa Deally:bra and cape. It definitely takes some practice it is a bit
Melissa Deally:of a mindset shift. But when you go to the event wearing your
Melissa Deally:love bra or your cape with that conscious thought that I will
Melissa Deally:only allow love in and I will only allow love out. It makes a
Melissa Deally:huge difference in how you can show up at the event. So, as I
Melissa Deally:said it takes some practice, but it really does allow you to
Melissa Deally:focus on what is important in the moment, which is love and to
Melissa Deally:shine that out to me those around you to not only accept
Melissa Deally:love in, but allow the love out to all of those around you. I've
Melissa Deally:had many clients Dawn their love bras and capes before family
Melissa Deally:weddings and head their bravely and report back that the event
Melissa Deally:went so much more smoothly than expected. And they enjoyed it
Melissa Deally:more than they thought they would. As a result. I even had a
Melissa Deally:client one time who told me that she used this over zoom, talking
Melissa Deally:to her in laws with her partner. And she had always found that
Melissa Deally:her in laws were so critical of her partner. And she was just
Melissa Deally:kind of tired of it. And she thought you know what I'm going
Melissa Deally:to wear my love brought the Zoom meeting. And I'm only going to
Melissa Deally:get let love in and only let love go out towards them. And
Melissa Deally:when they started being critical, she just focused on,
Melissa Deally:I'm sending them love, I'm sending them love, I'm sending
Melissa Deally:them love. And she said it was fascinating because his mum just
Melissa Deally:kind of suddenly stopped mid sentence in the middle of being
Melissa Deally:critical. And kind of shook her head a little bit and change the
Melissa Deally:subject to something a whole lot more positive. And she was just
Melissa Deally:blown away. That even over zoom with her focusing on I'm sending
Melissa Deally:them love and sending them love that somehow the mum picked up
Melissa Deally:on that enough to stop the criticism, change the subject
Melissa Deally:into something much more positive. So this is powerful.
Melissa Deally:When we send love out into the world, the world can receive it.
Melissa Deally:And it can shift how people respond to you. Because you are
Melissa Deally:sending them love.
Melissa Deally:Avoidance of issues, and avoiding people that trigger us
Melissa Deally:just has us carrying around heavier emotions for longer
Melissa Deally:bogging down our physical being draining our energy levels, and
Melissa Deally:weakening our immune system to almost squash down emotions
Melissa Deally:really do weaken our immune system. And so we have to
Melissa Deally:instead allow our body to process them and release them.
Melissa Deally:And that forgiveness piece is so important for anything that's
Melissa Deally:been harbored before. And then for anything new, when we choose
Melissa Deally:that place of love. We can in mentally also allow for the
Melissa Deally:emotions to be processed, and released. Emotions moving
Melissa Deally:through our body move through as a chemical reaction in less than
Melissa Deally:90 seconds is what we choose to do with those emotions that can
Melissa Deally:get them stuck. So we can be focusing on it so much that the
Melissa Deally:chemical reaction has long since ended. But we hold on to the
Melissa Deally:memory and squash it down. Or we can release it and say I'm going
Melissa Deally:to choose to still show them love even though this is how
Melissa Deally:they made me feel. I'm going to forgive them for that. Maybe
Melissa Deally:it's having a conversation with them around. This is how it made
Melissa Deally:me feel I'm sure you didn't mean it that way. So I must have
Melissa Deally:misunderstood you. Maybe that's also a conversation that can be
Melissa Deally:had, right? When we can address this from a place of love, or
Melissa Deally:release people through forgiveness, or both, we can
Melissa Deally:elevate ourselves to a higher energy level. And in doing so we
Melissa Deally:feel lighter, calmer, and happier in the process. And the
Melissa Deally:more we practice this, the more people we draw into our circle,
Melissa Deally:that are functioning at that same high energy level, focusing
Melissa Deally:on love, which expands our love circle. And it expands it
Melissa Deally:exponentially and results in us living a happier, more joyful
Melissa Deally:life. Love truly can make the world go around. As we continue
Melissa Deally:to expand our circle and the natural ripple effect that
Melissa Deally:happens as a result. As Tony Robbins says, energy flows where
Melissa Deally:attention goes. So when we focus on love, the energy of love
Melissa Deally:expands and flows in our life. And then you get to feel those
Melissa Deally:light happy, warm, joyful feelings all the time.
Melissa Deally:So now that you understand the energies of love, let's talk
Melissa Deally:about the love languages. As these matter in how you relate
Melissa Deally:Build relationships, relationships with those you
Melissa Deally:love the most. So this is the work of Gary Chapman. For those
Melissa Deally:of you watching on YouTube, I'm holding up his book here. It's
Melissa Deally:called The Five Love Languages. And the five love languages are
Melissa Deally:words of affirmation, or quality time, or receiving gifts, or
Melissa Deally:acts of service, or physical touch. So, we all have some of
Melissa Deally:these within us, you might be thinking, My like words of
Melissa Deally:affirmation, but I also like receiving gifts. Or maybe you're
Melissa Deally:the person that says I love physical touch. And I like
Melissa Deally:quality time, right? So you can definitely be more than one you
Melissa Deally:can have several of these types of love languages within you.
Melissa Deally:But you generally have one primary language and
Melissa Deally:understanding your own primary language. And that of your
Melissa Deally:partner is very helpful, because your partner's love language
Melissa Deally:might be completely different to yours. And if you're showing
Melissa Deally:your love for them, based on your own love language, it may
Melissa Deally:not be as meaningful to them. For instance, if you love
Melissa Deally:receiving gifts, but they want words of affirmation, and you're
Melissa Deally:buying them gifts, that's not speaking to them in their love
Melissa Deally:language, right. And so understanding this is really,
Melissa Deally:really important. Someone else might be have acts of service as
Melissa Deally:number one on their list. And yours is receiving gifts, and
Melissa Deally:you're giving them gifts, really, they would just much
Melissa Deally:rather help with laundry and the dishes, right the acts of
Melissa Deally:service. So this is really powerful information to have and
Melissa Deally:to understand because of course, we all come from different
Melissa Deally:backgrounds and our love languages are impacted by how we
Melissa Deally:were raised as children. And it doesn't just relate to romantic
Melissa Deally:partners either, but it does relate to your relationships
Melissa Deally:with your kids, even friends, colleagues, etc. And so I'll put
Melissa Deally:a link in the show notes so that you can go online and do the
Melissa Deally:quiz from the book in order to determine the love languages of
Melissa Deally:your whole family. So have fun discovering your love languages,
Melissa Deally:donning your love bra or your love cape, and finding every
Melissa Deally:opportunity to lead with your heart and come from a place of
Melissa Deally:love, lightness, happiness and joy. On my next show, I'm
Melissa Deally:interviewing a relationship expert as we dive into romantic
Melissa Deally:love. So until next time, I'm sending you love. And thank you
Melissa Deally:very much for listening.
Melissa Deally:Thank you for investing this time with me on the don't wait
Melissa Deally:for your wake up call Podcast. I'm so glad you joined in. If
Melissa Deally:you can take two minutes to share this episode with someone
Melissa Deally:who you think can benefit and have a positive impact on their
Melissa Deally:life. That would be wonderful. Please leave a review by going
Melissa Deally:to your favorite podcast listening app. And let me know
Melissa Deally:what you enjoy. More we'd like to hear more of it will support
Melissa Deally:me in my effort to bring the possibility of natural healing
Melissa Deally:to a wider audience and help disrupt the sick care system we
Melissa Deally:have today and make human health a global priority. Health is