Do You Love Yourself?

Melissa Deally: 00:00:06

Imagine getting up every day full of energy is

Melissa Deally: 00:00:08

if you were in your 20s. Again, what would that be? Like? What

Melissa Deally: 00:00:13

would that be worth to you? What is your health worth to

Melissa Deally: 00:00:17

you? Think about it. Your health isn't everything. But without

Melissa Deally: 00:00:21

it, everything else is nothing. And yet too many of us are

Melissa Deally: 00:00:25

taking it for granted until something goes wrong. No one

Melissa Deally: 00:00:30

wakes up hoping to be diagnosed with a disease or chronic

Melissa Deally: 00:00:32

illness. And yet, we've never been taught how to be proactive

Melissa Deally: 00:00:36

in our health through our school system, or public health. As a

Melissa Deally: 00:00:40

registered health coach and integrative health practitioner,

Melissa Deally: 00:00:43

I believe it is time this information is made available to

Melissa Deally: 00:00:47

everyone. Combining new knowledge around your health and

Melissa Deally: 00:00:51

the ability to do my functional medicine lab tests in the

Melissa Deally: 00:00:54

comfort of your own home will allow you to optimize your

Melissa Deally: 00:00:57

health for today and all your tomorrow's don't wait for your

Melissa Deally: 00:01:02

wake up call.

Melissa Deally: 00:01:06

Welcome back to the don't wait for your wake up call podcast.

Melissa Deally: 00:01:10

And today I'm continuing the theme of love for the month of

Melissa Deally: 00:01:16

February 2022.

Unknown: 00:01:20

And

Melissa Deally: 00:01:21

last time, I was talking about the energetics of

Melissa Deally: 00:01:25

Love and Love Languages back in episode 52. And then Episode 53,

Melissa Deally: 00:01:31

we have the lovely Whitney Corbin on talking about romantic

Melissa Deally: 00:01:35

love and relationships. And today, I want you to ask

Melissa Deally: 00:01:41

yourself the all important question Do you love yourself?

Melissa Deally: 00:01:49

Are you worthy of your own love. If you don't first love

Melissa Deally: 00:01:56

yourself, it's very hard for you to truly love someone else. So

Melissa Deally: 00:02:02

let's dive into self worth and how that impacts our ability to

Melissa Deally: 00:02:08

love others. There is a quote by Joyce Meyer that says if you

Melissa Deally: 00:02:13

don't love yourself, it will be impossible for you to love

Melissa Deally: 00:02:16

others as you can't give away what you don't have. And there

Melissa Deally: 00:02:21

is another quote that counters that which says it's not that

Melissa Deally: 00:02:25

people can't love you. If you don't love yourself, it's that

Melissa Deally: 00:02:29

you won't feel it because it will always seem like you don't

Melissa Deally: 00:02:34

deserve it. And another quote by Mandy Hale is if you don't love

Melissa Deally: 00:02:39

yourself, you'll always be chasing after people who don't

Melissa Deally: 00:02:43

love you either. Perhaps you relate to one of these. Our self

Melissa Deally: 00:02:50

worth is the result of many aspects of our life from

Melissa Deally: 00:02:53

traumatic experiences the combination of the five people

Melissa Deally: 00:02:57

we associate with the most, and our beliefs that are deeply

Melissa Deally: 00:03:01

seated in our subconscious mind. And were formed prior to the age

Melissa Deally: 00:03:06

of age based on what we were told or perceived about

Melissa Deally: 00:03:10

ourselves and our world. At that very young age. Our self worth

Melissa Deally: 00:03:16

has the ability to move us forward, or keep us stuck. We

Melissa Deally: 00:03:21

stay stuck when we believe we aren't worth doing whatever it

Melissa Deally: 00:03:26

is we think we might like to do. Or we can move forward when we

Melissa Deally: 00:03:31

realize we are worth taking that one small step towards whatever

Melissa Deally: 00:03:35

it is that we desire. We all have the power to design our

Melissa Deally: 00:03:40

life and live it the way we choose to. Or we can sit back

Melissa Deally: 00:03:44

and a victim mentality and let life happen to us. Where are you

Melissa Deally: 00:03:51

on that spectrum? Are you stuck in the victim mentality? Or have

Melissa Deally: 00:03:56

you broken out of that and know that you have the power to

Melissa Deally: 00:04:00

design your life and live it your way? The first step in

Melissa Deally: 00:04:06

changing your self worth and upgrading it is to understand

Melissa Deally: 00:04:09

where you are at and whether you are where are you truly want to

Melissa Deally: 00:04:13

be. So let's start by looking at how you treat yourself. What

Melissa Deally: 00:04:19

kind of food do you feed your body? Is it healthy nourishing

Melissa Deally: 00:04:23

food are you eating on the run and grabbing things that you

Melissa Deally: 00:04:26

know aren't great, but you're so busy looking after everyone

Melissa Deally: 00:04:29

else, that you aren't making the time to truly look after

Melissa Deally: 00:04:33

yourself and feed yourself properly? Do you slow down and

Melissa Deally: 00:04:40

listen to your body? Your body talks to you and yet we so often

Melissa Deally: 00:04:45

ignore it. But when we slow down and listen to the symptoms, we

Melissa Deally: 00:04:51

are honoring our body and our self worth at the same time.

Melissa Deally: 00:04:55

Because when we listen we are much more likely to then take

Melissa Deally: 00:04:58

action Understanding that your symptoms are your body's way of

Melissa Deally: 00:05:06

trying to ask you to do something differently, is really

Melissa Deally: 00:05:09

important in that equation there, the symptoms aren't just

Melissa Deally: 00:05:14

there for you to ignore and accept as aging, or genetics or

Melissa Deally: 00:05:19

seasonal allergies, which is what tends to happen. Because as

Melissa Deally: 00:05:24

a society, that's how we talk to each other. I've got aches and

Melissa Deally: 00:05:29

pains, it sucks, getting old, etc, etc, you know, symptoms

Melissa Deally: 00:05:33

come up, and we just accept them as being part of the aging

Melissa Deally: 00:05:37

process, instead of recognizing that is our body asking us to do

Melissa Deally: 00:05:41

something differently.

Melissa Deally: 00:05:44

Examples of these may be you're getting headaches, you've got

Melissa Deally: 00:05:48

swollen fingers, or joints from too many inflammatory foods like

Melissa Deally: 00:05:51

sugar, dairy gluten, right? So your body is talking to you

Melissa Deally: 00:05:56

asking you to do something differently. And are you paying

Melissa Deally: 00:06:00

attention? Are you willing to slow down and pay attention in

Melissa Deally: 00:06:03

order to honor your body asking you to do something differently,

Melissa Deally: 00:06:09

and in that process, honor yourself. When we discount

Melissa Deally: 00:06:14

ourselves when we put ourselves down, that's when we are showing

Melissa Deally: 00:06:18

a lower level of self worth. But when we instead, respect

Melissa Deally: 00:06:23

ourselves, and listen, and tune in and make choices that are in

Melissa Deally: 00:06:31

our best interest, that is when we're showing that increased

Melissa Deally: 00:06:35

self worth. So you can see how this comes into play throughout

Melissa Deally: 00:06:39

your day each and every day with every decision that you make.

Melissa Deally: 00:06:44

And you may not be factoring in self worth to those decisions.

Melissa Deally: 00:06:49

But you can see how you can. And if you want to truly value

Melissa Deally: 00:06:53

yourself, you can see how you can factor yourself into the

Melissa Deally: 00:06:57

decision. It's not about doing things for everybody else all

Melissa Deally: 00:07:01

the time and putting yourself last, it is about factoring

Melissa Deally: 00:07:06

yourself in to each decision. When you put yourself last,

Melissa Deally: 00:07:12

that's when you end up in burnout, that's when you end up

Melissa Deally: 00:07:15

resentful, that's when you end up fatigue and low energy. And

Melissa Deally: 00:07:21

that results in a lower level of self worth, when you put

Melissa Deally: 00:07:27

yourself first, you're raising that self worth, but you're also

Melissa Deally: 00:07:31

ensuring that you're serving from a full cup, and that you

Melissa Deally: 00:07:35

have the energy to serve the others in your life to the best

Melissa Deally: 00:07:39

of your ability. Because you've put yourself first, it comes

Melissa Deally: 00:07:43

back to the saying that I've said over and over and over

Melissa Deally: 00:07:46

again on this podcast since it started just over a year ago,

Melissa Deally: 00:07:50

that self care is the most selfless act because it allows

Melissa Deally: 00:07:54

you to show up and give the world the best of you instead of

Melissa Deally: 00:07:57

what's left of you. That self care is driving our self worth.

Melissa Deally: 00:08:03

When we have good self worth, we take the time to care for

Melissa Deally: 00:08:07

ourselves. So are you following through on commitments to

Melissa Deally: 00:08:11

yourself? Or do you let yourself down, even though you wouldn't

Melissa Deally: 00:08:17

let your best friend down, be truthful here because this is

Melissa Deally: 00:08:20

very common. When we create boundaries to show respect to

Melissa Deally: 00:08:25

ourselves, we have to honor them. Those boundaries could be

Melissa Deally: 00:08:30

putting self care time into your calendar and blocking it. And

Melissa Deally: 00:08:35

then doing whatever that is that you plan to do, whether it's

Melissa Deally: 00:08:38

going for a walk a bike ride, whether it's taking an hour out

Melissa Deally: 00:08:42

to read a book, maybe call a friend, maybe have a bath,

Melissa Deally: 00:08:46

whatever it is, is meaningful to you. You put it in the calendar,

Melissa Deally: 00:08:50

you created the boundary. And then did you show respect to

Melissa Deally: 00:08:53

yourself in honoring that and actually doing it, as opposed

Melissa Deally: 00:08:58

to, oh, that doesn't really matter. And so and so asked me

Melissa Deally: 00:09:01

to do this. And that's the only time in my day. So I'm gonna

Melissa Deally: 00:09:04

give up what I plan to do for me and do this for them. When we

Melissa Deally: 00:09:08

say no to others, so that we can say yes to ourselves. That is

Melissa Deally: 00:09:14

when we are building our self worth. And it may mean that you

Melissa Deally: 00:09:18

have to release commitments that say yes to others. Maybe you've

Melissa Deally: 00:09:23

taken on too much. Maybe you have to go back to others and

Melissa Deally: 00:09:27

say that you can't get it all done. Maybe you need to recruit

Melissa Deally: 00:09:30

other people to help in a volunteer scenario where it

Melissa Deally: 00:09:34

seems to be too much more than you expected. Or maybe it's just

Melissa Deally: 00:09:38

being cognizant of, I'll stick to my commitments right now, but

Melissa Deally: 00:09:42

I'm not going to take on anything more. We have to start

Melissa Deally: 00:09:46

saying yes to ourselves and no to others in order to have the

Melissa Deally: 00:09:52

time to be able to build the commitments to ourselves in our

Melissa Deally: 00:09:55

calendar if you're enjoying my content intense and someone that

Melissa Deally: 00:10:01

wants to step into being proactive in your health and

Melissa Deally: 00:10:04

learning more, I would love to invite you to join my membership

Melissa Deally: 00:10:08

community. There's a link in the show notes for only 1999 a

Melissa Deally: 00:10:12

month, you get access to all of my content. And there's a lot as

Melissa Deally: 00:10:15

well as weekly calls that you can come and get your health

Melissa Deally: 00:10:18

questions answered. It's truly priceless. I'd love to see you

Melissa Deally: 00:10:22

join the community, check out the link in the show notes.

Melissa Deally: 00:10:27

Next, you can take a look at who are the people you hang around

Melissa Deally: 00:10:30

the most? Do they lift you up, support and motivate you? Are

Melissa Deally: 00:10:35

they interested in your personal growth? Or do they discourage

Melissa Deally: 00:10:38

you from moving forward in your life? Because of their own fears

Melissa Deally: 00:10:43

of being left behind? How many times have you been told you

Melissa Deally: 00:10:47

can't do that? And it stops you. When you've come up with an

Melissa Deally: 00:10:52

idea. Do you realize that when someone tells you that you can't

Melissa Deally: 00:10:56

do something, it actually has nothing to do with you. But it

Melissa Deally: 00:11:00

is a direct reflection of what they think about themselves. And

Melissa Deally: 00:11:05

it comes out of their mouth as if it's meant for you. You might

Melissa Deally: 00:11:10

have voiced a desire to quit your job and start your own

Melissa Deally: 00:11:13

business. And we're told by a well meaning family member, you

Melissa Deally: 00:11:16

can't do that it's too risky. What if you fail. That is their

Melissa Deally: 00:11:21

opinion of their ability to start a business as perhaps

Melissa Deally: 00:11:25

they've never thought about doing so they don't even have an

Melissa Deally: 00:11:28

idea of what to start. So of course, they can't start a

Melissa Deally: 00:11:32

business. Plus, they don't want to see you fail. So they'd

Melissa Deally: 00:11:37

rather you stay where you are not realizing that you're

Melissa Deally: 00:11:41

unhappy and feel stuck. A regular paycheck is no reason to

Melissa Deally: 00:11:46

accept unhappiness and feeling stuck. Besides, you've been

Melissa Deally: 00:11:52

thinking about this for a while now you have an idea, you aren't

Melissa Deally: 00:11:55

happy in your job, you want to move on. And you can absolutely

Melissa Deally: 00:11:59

do this. You just need to find the right group of people to

Melissa Deally: 00:12:03

lift you up, support you and carry you forward in this

Melissa Deally: 00:12:07

desire. If they hold you back, start finding a new tribe. You

Melissa Deally: 00:12:14

can find a new tribe of like minded people by joining groups

Melissa Deally: 00:12:17

of people with similar interests or hobbies or taking a course

Melissa Deally: 00:12:20

you were interested in. In hiring a business coach join a

Melissa Deally: 00:12:23

mastermind group. There's so many places where you can find

Melissa Deally: 00:12:28

people that will lift you up. And you have to step away from

Melissa Deally: 00:12:32

the people that are holding you back, which as I said is very

Melissa Deally: 00:12:36

often well meaning well intentioned family who were used

Melissa Deally: 00:12:41

to you where you're at. But if you're not happy where you're

Melissa Deally: 00:12:45

at, you get to choose to move forward and design the life that

Melissa Deally: 00:12:51

you want to live your way, right. Another important step in

Melissa Deally: 00:12:57

boosting your self worth is to shift your subconscious

Melissa Deally: 00:13:00

thoughts. This is simple to do, but not necessarily easy. But I

Melissa Deally: 00:13:06

encourage you to do it all the same for it yields powerful

Melissa Deally: 00:13:09

results. I call this the mirror challenge. I invite you to make

Melissa Deally: 00:13:15

some time and stand in front of your mirror and lock yourself in

Melissa Deally: 00:13:19

the eyes and say I love you. Don't just say the words though

Melissa Deally: 00:13:26

you need to feel them.

Melissa Deally: 00:13:28

And at first, it will feel strange and awkward. But stick

Melissa Deally: 00:13:33

with it and keep repeating the words. Hear the emotion in your

Melissa Deally: 00:13:37

voice. Feel the love in your body, change the intonation in

Melissa Deally: 00:13:41

your voice as needed. Change the words to such as I love you so

Melissa Deally: 00:13:48

much. Or I may not have always loved you, but I love you now.

Melissa Deally: 00:13:55

So that is meaningful to you. I find this experience often

Melissa Deally: 00:14:00

results in tears. And that's okay. Those tears are

Melissa Deally: 00:14:04

unnecessary release of feelings that you no longer need feelings

Melissa Deally: 00:14:09

that result in a lack of self worth. Practices daily for 10

Melissa Deally: 00:14:14

minutes until you reprogram your subconscious mind to know that

Melissa Deally: 00:14:20

you truly do love yourself. You can also do a quiz from the

Melissa Deally: 00:14:27

book. How to be your biggest fan by Rene sir Mack. The quiz asks

Melissa Deally: 00:14:34

many questions about everyday ways you live your life with

Melissa Deally: 00:14:38

questions about whether you pay your bills on time, the

Melissa Deally: 00:14:41

condition of your desk most of the time, the amount you

Melissa Deally: 00:14:45

complain each day, whether you return borrowed items on time do

Melissa Deally: 00:14:50

you make your bed every morning? Do you volunteer your time? How

Melissa Deally: 00:14:54

often you read or listen to books. What is your driving

Melissa Deally: 00:14:59

record? How often you set and achieve goals and many, many

Melissa Deally: 00:15:03

more. You rate each of these as being either positive, negative,

Melissa Deally: 00:15:10

or neutral, in terms of your response in how you feel when

Melissa Deally: 00:15:15

you read this statement. So if somebody has a poor driving

Melissa Deally: 00:15:19

record, perhaps when they read that statement, they have a

Melissa Deally: 00:15:22

negative response to that, because they know they have a

Melissa Deally: 00:15:25

driving record, and they don't like it. And they'd like to

Melissa Deally: 00:15:29

improve that. And so right now they have a negative response to

Melissa Deally: 00:15:32

it. But perhaps someone who makes their bed every morning

Melissa Deally: 00:15:35

loves their neat tidy bed, that gives them a positive response.

Melissa Deally: 00:15:40

And then through this, you come up with an overall score of

Melissa Deally: 00:15:44

yourself worth. Now if that score is low, you might feel

Melissa Deally: 00:15:49

that as a blow to your self worth. Or you can look at that

Melissa Deally: 00:15:54

as a starting point from which you can launch your self worth

Melissa Deally: 00:15:58

journey, to take steps to build your self worth by changing one

Melissa Deally: 00:16:03

item on the list into a new habit that boosts self worth.

Melissa Deally: 00:16:07

And then go to the next item. And you might not think that

Melissa Deally: 00:16:11

making your bed daily has anything to do with self worth.

Melissa Deally: 00:16:15

But making your bed creates a tidy bedroom, which allows you

Melissa Deally: 00:16:19

to have pride in the appearance of your room. And the way we do

Melissa Deally: 00:16:24

one thing is the way we do everything in our life. So if we

Melissa Deally: 00:16:27

start to clean up one area of our life and take more care,

Melissa Deally: 00:16:31

because we are building our self respect, will start to do that

Melissa Deally: 00:16:35

in the other areas of our life. And it won't be long before we

Melissa Deally: 00:16:38

can stand in front of that mirror and say, I love you and

Melissa Deally: 00:16:44

truly mean it with a big smile on our face instead of tears. As

Melissa Deally: 00:16:51

you start to change your beliefs about yourself that triggers new

Melissa Deally: 00:16:54

actions and behaviors, behaviors that further fuel your self

Melissa Deally: 00:16:59

worth and love of self. Now, I'm not going to tell you this is

Melissa Deally: 00:17:04

easy, but I am going to tell you this is possible. If you want to

Melissa Deally: 00:17:09

upgrade your self worth you absolutely can. If you want to

Melissa Deally: 00:17:13

fall in love with yourself, you absolutely can. If you need

Melissa Deally: 00:17:18

help, there are many coaches that can support you in this

Melissa Deally: 00:17:21

journey. They can't do the work for you. Just like I can't do

Melissa Deally: 00:17:25

the work for my clients. But a good coach will guide your

Melissa Deally: 00:17:29

journey, hold you accountable to yourself and draw out your own

Melissa Deally: 00:17:34

magic that has been hidden inside for too long to let you

Melissa Deally: 00:17:38

shine. And so next week, I will be interviewing one such coach

Melissa Deally: 00:17:43

as we dive into a conversation focused on self love. So I hope

Melissa Deally: 00:17:50

you come back and join us again. Thank you for listening.

Melissa Deally: 00:17:57

Thank you for investing this time with me on the don't wait

Melissa Deally: 00:17:59

for your wake up call Podcast. I'm so glad you joined in. If

Melissa Deally: 00:18:03

you can take two minutes to share this episode with someone

Melissa Deally: 00:18:06

who you think can benefit and have a positive impact on their

Melissa Deally: 00:18:09

life. That would be wonderful. Please leave a review by going

Melissa Deally: 00:18:13

to your favorite podcast listening app. And let me know

Melissa Deally: 00:18:16

what you enjoy or would like to hear more of it will support me

Melissa Deally: 00:18:20

in my effort to bring the possibility of natural healing

Melissa Deally: 00:18:23

to a wider audience and help disrupt the sick care system we

Melissa Deally: 00:18:27

have today and make human health a global priority. Health. Is