The Beauty Of Grief

Hello, my friend.

Welcome back to the dogs admin podcast. I am glad you're here. This is the show where you learn to let your dog lead.

Lead you back to love

what the fuck is going on? Oh my god, you guys I am so god damn excited to talk about this. I'm so excited to talk about this because this is one of the toughest things we have to deal with in our lives. Grief, right? We don't, we just don't know what to do with it. We don't know how to handle it.

And we don't understand what is actually possible if you can go there. So I this is it's a thing of beauty. And this is a tough concept to grasp. But grief can actually be beautiful because of what it offers this as a possibility. So that's why I call this the beauty of grief.

So I was almost 50 When my older brother died,

and that rocked my freaking world just completely rocked my world tore me open.

But if it hadn't, I would still be showing up as the guy I realized I was after his death. I was angry. I was shitting pissy judgmental.

ragingly insecure,

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't see it, I could not see myself in these ways, until something changed. And it took his death to tear me open to shine a light on all the stuff that I realized I didn't like I didn't I didn't like about myself and and wanted to

wanted to change. And, you know, I was asking myself questions like, really?

Have I always been like this? Or do other people see this. And what was also fascinating is, yeah, other people could see right through all my bullshit. And I still have friends, right? I still have people that cared about me so they could see past all my masks that I use to try and hide who I was underneath.

And they can see through that next layer of crap. Right to who I really am, right, and who I try and show up as now as just being a good loving guy

who's who's here to learn more and, and helping others along the way. Right? I want to, I want to be more compassionate, I want to be less judgmental.

But I have to, I have to do that. Starting from a place of not showing up as I used to, I have to show up as to who I would want to be not who was out from others to see me as, but who I want to be. And it took this this grief of

losing my brother who was kind of my silent hero

to do that for me.

Just over a year ago

I had another opportunity to practice this

Darby who was the catalyst. He was the reason the prompter. The the instigator as it were for the greatest change in my life. Right? So my brother's death tore me open. And allow me to see. And then Darby showed me what is possible. He showed me these other states of being right as an energy healer. I had no freaking clue about God. That talk was amazing. But I wasn't able to see it. Right. I didn't have the ability I didn't have the lens with which to view these other things. So

let's get started. Let's get back to Darby.

Last year in May, just before my birthday, Darby got real sick and and died.

We helped him on his on his way. But it happened really quickly. And I had another opportunity to allow grief to fully come into my life. Right not just wax over it.

That that was so amazing.

We had a vet come out to the house when it was time. And my partner dinos I think I mentioned she's fucking amazing.

So data, and my mom and me sat with dark in the backyard in the vet came in, he went in great. He knew what was going on, I can never could fool that fucking dog. He went and greeted the vet, said, Hi, snipped all her gear, and came back and just laid in my lap. Right? It was the most beautiful and powerful thing. He knew exactly what was happening. And that was just amazing to me.

And I wanted, I wanted to feel everything afterwards, I wanted to allow that to come, instead of hiding from my discomfort or running from it. You know, I used to try and drink it away. Right? how that worked out for me not well, we're lucky to be here. And I want her to feel it. All right. People say, once you get another dog, because I know a lot of folks do that, because they don't want to feel the pain of that loss. But I've wanted it man, I wanted every little bit of it. That makes my life richer, you know, we were always chasing this high point. We want the good feelings only. But we don't allow this crummy shit to do what it's supposed to do. And that that, for me, allows me to enjoy the other things more. Right? The richness of life is not this flat line. It's not this constant state. It's it's all of it. Right? allowing all of that to come in. So

think about that. Think how amazing our lives are here. Wherever you are right now. It's amazing. And it's no accident that you're in that place where you're here to learn and grow and experience. Sometimes we make great choices. Sometimes we don't, right, we do a shit job. But there's still a possibility from that.

Right? So think about something you tried and failed at? Well, it's not a failure, as I see it, but an opportunity to learn to do it differently. Maybe that thing wasn't yours to begin with. Or maybe you're just coming at it from the wrong angle.

I used to try something fail and move on to the next thing. Right? Because Oh, obviously, this isn't for me, well, maybe I just wasn't doing as I needed to do for me, maybe I was trying to do it as somebody else would approach it. So grief has allowed me such a depth of experience. And an insight to myself, to be able to allow things to show up to allow myself to feel more. And God, I wouldn't change it when I would change it for anything. That was the biggest gift my brother ever gave me was dying young. Right, leaving this planet early as far as as we would consider it.

That was fucking amazing, and powerful. That was the largest gift I've ever received in my life.

Because now I know there's a different way to B.

Maybe you have to experience your own, you know, depth of of injury or trauma, to be able to recognize to be able to see, maybe you need to witness something else. Maybe you can just listen to these these types of words and what I happened to say or what someone else has to say, and find that place where you go, Oh, no shit.

I guess I can do something different. I can be different. I can show up different. I can live this exceptional life. That doesn't have to be the what anybody else says it is. Right? And that's fantastic. Every day you have a choice. You make choices, even when you think you're not making choices, you're choosing things you're deciding in one form or another to show up as you are to be as you are.

So I say let the grief come.

Let the grief come. I've got this other amazing dog in my life and when she leaves, I will all my fucking eyes out

because of the richness of life that she shared with me. Right and I will miss her terribly. But I will revel in what's possible from Allah.

Knowing that to come, let it come, guys. Let it come. There's such beauty and grief. Oh, you have a fantastic day. Take that dog for a walk, maybe do a meditation with your dog.

It's a great way to be. It's a great way to be and I hope you find beauty in grief and find love.