So You Want Change, Do You?

Hello, my friend. Welcome back to the dogs admin podcast. I am glad you're here. This is the show where you learn to let your dog lead. Lead you back to love

I can feel it coming in the air tonight. Oh, hold on. Hey, are you guys getting tired of my singing yet? I know it's not a pleasant sound, but I just have fun with it. I love, love it, love it, love it, love it. And I used to be so afraid of what everybody thought about my singing, I would never sing in front of or around anybody. But it changed, right? I realized I'm not going to get a recording contract. But I also realized, hey, I can just have fun with it. So I hope you're getting that. So you want change? Do you? Seriously, is this what you really want? Because it can get super uncomfortable. And I find it really interesting that this is not something that people talk about as much. They talk about all the ways you can change and how amazing it's going to be. But I don't hear as much about how uncomfortable it's gonna freakin be along the way, and what the outcomes could be for you. Let's talk about relationships. I mean, everything's a relationship, you know, you and your dog, you and your boss, you and your co workers, you and your wife, spouse, partner, parents, all relationships. So we talked about expectations previously, how everybody wants you to show up? Well, when you change, you are changing the rules. Everyone else around you can no longer account on you behaving as you had in the past. So what does that mean? Well, it means that they might be uncomfortable, they might not understand what's going on with you. Hopefully they understand that you're becoming who you really are, or that you're changing because you want and need to change. But they're not always going to get it. You know, whether it's a teacher or even the guy at the gas station that you always talk to, when you go by, you know, whatever it is, every relationship is going to change. Now, a lot of them are going to change for the better. You know, as you become more and more who you truly are, you're going to attract this other type of energy, right? Because your energy is different. Other people are going to be drawn to that. Now, some folks are not going to like it, you change rules, they don't like it, they're uncomfortable. And some relationships are gonna end, maybe even ones that you didn't think would end. And we change one thing, everything else has to change as an effect. So drop a pebble in a pond, the water surface of the water broken at that point, little ripples go out in all directions, everything has to change. And this is true for any one person, right? Or a group of people or an organization. Once a small change is initiated, everything else changes from that point in all directions. So what do you do with this, right? This? This is like scary shit. You know, hey, I'm trying to make myself better. All of a sudden, I lost this important relationship in my life. So this is one of those places where we can be really critical, and get really down on ourselves. Like why the fuck did I start this in the first place? Look at this. I just lost a friend. Well, yeah, it can happen. You know, there's, there's a group of guys that I used to have as like my core group when I was younger. And I hardly talked to any of them anymore. There's one who is super nice guy. But he, he needed things for me, right? He needed validation from me. We wouldn't talk very frequently. But whenever he would reach out, he wanted me to tell him who he was and it would be draining. And so the last time he reached out, I said, Look, I said I can't give you what you want. And we tried a couple of times to connect on the phone and I ended up just texting him and said look, you know, nothing personal against you, but I can't give you what you want. And I can't talk to you right now.

And that was that was hard. If that was really hard for me, and I know it was painful for him by his response, so I can just send him love and hope that he finds what he needs in his life, but I can't complete him. Right. And as guys, we have such a hard time with this, whether, you know, our fathers didn't give us what we needed, or even our mothers were so constantly looking for validation and approval from outside sources that we do whatever it is, we think they want us to do. And, you know, and hopefully, we'll get the love and attention that we crave and desire. So this is hard, guys, I know that stuff is really hard, but it is so important for you to take care of you in this way. What are the realizations can come from this? Things are going to unfold as you go. Some relationships that have been super solid are going to be feel shaky and cwap. And that's okay. Right? It's, it's how do you respond in the moment, and maybe you don't have to respond to anybody at any given time, whatever that looks like for you. Sometimes I have to step away from something before I can get some clarity on it. Usually, because, you know, I'm neither triggered or, or reactive, when something happens. And that's been hard for me to be able to know I don't have to respond. Maybe it's a voicemail, or a text message or an email, whatever it is, I get to choose how, and when I respond. Maybe, you know, I'm becoming more vocal, and I tell my partner more about what I want, whether it's, you know, I want more affection, in public, maybe, maybe I want more sex, maybe I want the ability to, you know, give her a a smack on, on the tush. Just to let her know, I think about her. Whatever it is, you know, maybe I can be more open and vocal with my own parents. I've got a lot of work still to do around my dad. But I can talk about it now. And I wish he was more open to receiving what I want to talk about. But that's okay. That's his, he doesn't have to be. He doesn't have to appease or please me. Oh, he gets super uncomfortable talking about anything superficial. And yeah, that's alright. That's where he's at. So but I can talk to other people about I can help other guys work through some of this crap around our dads. I've had some amazing, powerful coaching sessions and conversations. And it's just mind blowing, how much is underneath the surface, right? Little slights, things that we dismissed or diminish or whatever it is, we shoved down things from way back in our childhood that would act that's in the past, well, it's probably still there, and might be a reason that you've had trouble with whatever it is in your life, you know, I mean, we could just talk in circles around this, but we don't lose things that made us hurt or uncomfortable. They stay with us until we bring them up and release them. So this is a huge point, guys. You would be better off if you allowed, right, if you could be more vulnerable. And we've covered this, but I'm gonna keep bringing it up because it's that important. So think about one relationship right now, just one relationship in your life that is just it's a key, right? This is this is one that you think, oh my god, if I lost this person in my life, I would I don't know what I do. Yeah, I've had that. I've, I've been dumped by multiple girlfriends. I left my wife years ago. And I didn't know how I was going to make it. I didn't know how I was going to survive. Even passing on my dogs, the amount of love and acceptance I got from those dogs it was it was heartbreaking when one of them had to go when one of them died. But from that place of knowing that I was loved, regardless of you know what I wore, who I thought it was at the time, I was just purely accepted. And that's the word I'm getting to now. But I have to be willing to embrace the change, whatever it looks like and however it shows up. So this is this is where I want you guys to to know that you're okay, no matter what you're still safe, no matter what it feels like you're going to be awesome. And what can you do for yourself today?

Right, what can you and that dog do to create a tiny bit of change? To help you move into who you truly are, well, you know what to do, though the dog up had some are cool, do something fun, slow it down, notice smile, breathe, laugh, be goofy, whatever it is. All right. Wish you well. Have an awesome day. Love you. Bye