Anger

Hello, my friend. Welcome back to the Dogs and Men podcast. I am glad you're here. This is the show where you learn to let your dog lead. Lead you back to love

Shoo be shoo. Hey, look who is back? Good to see you. I want to talk about anger. Yeah. This is one of my favorites, one of my favorite subjects. You know why? Because I was angry. Almost my entire life, I think. Oh, seriously, it's crazy. What? What makes it so funny to me is that we are allowed to be angry all the time. Right? What do I mean by that? It is probably the most accepted emotion available to men for expressing themselves. Now we can do something really shitty, and pips, oh, he's just having a bad day, or just give him some space, bah, bah, bah, bah. Well, we never try and get at what's underneath it. We use anger, outbursts or whatever to discharge this energy that we're feeling. And we get a temporary reprieve from that, you know, sometimes it's, it's as simple as just going to talk. Other times, that doesn't help as much. So, you know, it's been scientifically proven that when we cuss, that we actually feel better, right? Someone hurts themselves, they cut their finger and they they cut and then that feels a tiny bit better, says physiological response. And I think it has to do with discharging that energy, right? We see it in our dogs all the time. They get a little tussle a little fuss over something with another dog or whatever. And then they you know, they are they grow, they, they snap, whatever, then they shake it off, and they're done. So, for them, it's that simple, right? It can be that easy. For us. I don't think it's as simple because we've made it so complicated. We've, we've buried the source of the anger so deeply under God knows how many things. Now, I'm not saying a discharge is not healthy. As a matter of fact, I promote it.

The guys that I work with, I have a number of exercises where we actually do some, some kind of destructive shit, but in a controlled manner where no one's gonna get hurt. And we're not, you know, we're not destroying somebody's property, let's say. But it's so important to be able to discharge that energy to be able to access what's behind it, or underneath it. Hill for me, at the bottom of all of it. And this is what I think is true for most of us. But at the bottom of all of it is fear. I think fear is the big boss, right? The hidden Yakuza boss behind anger. So why how what does that even mean? You know, we equate fear with being afraid of a certain situation while fear so much more than that. It is so much deeper than that. And the fear of not finding love or not being lovable or not worthy of love, whose her fears they're not actually based in reality. They're just fears, but they govern how we move throughout our day. Well, do you want that? I don't want that. So why don't we do something about it? What What don't we get underneath the anger? Why don't we find out what's behind all that anger? Road raging? Getting you know getting in arguments at work? Wars, what what is all that? I mean, most of it has to do with resources when you talk about war. But it comes from this place of everybody's afraid you're not going to have enough so I need to go take it from someone else. Let's just insane. That is just insane. In my humble opinion. And I got a lot of military friends. They're probably going to think I'm nuts for saying this stuff. But the anger, it can be utilized in other ways, right? People use it to fuel something. They use it to motivate them they use it to push themselves or drive themselves forward in purpose. Well, what if you could find another way to fuel your mission to create your purpose? To get you where you want to go? But what if there was something else that was just as easily accessible? Once you find it? And a whole lot less destructive? Right? Yeah, I think that's a worthwhile, worthwhile pursuit. I think that is definitely a direction that we need to go.

And I'm trying to help guys with that. I do a lot of work with a lot of angry fellas. What's interesting is a lot of them would never admit that they're angry. You know, they, they have these outbursts, and they've got their strong opinions about certain things. And they're quick to flip somebody, I'll fall football somebody on the road. And but no, I'm not angry. I'm not angry at all. What are you talking about? I'm happy. Yeah, if we're happy, we don't strike out against other people. That's not the sign of a happy person. But we don't want to admit that we're angry. We can MIT that something's wrong at all. It's nuts, guys, it's absolutely nuts. So are you truly happy? Ask yourself that right now? Are you truly happy? Right? Everything in your life is going exactly as long as you would like it to? Or you were happy with the outcome of everything in your life? No. Why not? Can you take responsibility for the stuff that brought you to where you're at? Can you look at your anger? And what it does to you? And maybe the people around you? Let's back up a little bit. What makes you angry? What are the things that happened in your life now? And then or on a daily basis? That make you angry? Well, why did they make you angry? What is it that someone else did? That threatened you so much? You know, people are just walking around pointing guns at each other all the time. So why is something perceived as such a threat to our existence? Usually, it's just our comfort level. But why are we so scared of something happening? Well, I can go back to what I was talking about before. You know, this, this feeling that we are not enough underneath all this stuff. I know a lot of you out there might be going What the freak air you talking about? It takes some time to get there, right? So consider it an adventure journey. But it's one of the most worthwhile ever, ever on the planet. The treasure that that can be uncovered is not like anything you've seen in the movies. It's better. But you have to be willing to put in the work. You got to be willing to realize that you've been fooling yourself, you've been lying to yourself, maybe you're not as happy as you thought. You know, one of the many masks that you wear is starting to slip a little bit. If you're here listening to this, it's for a pretty good reason. I bet. Maybe you want to admit it to yourself. Maybe you don't want to admit it to yourself, that's fine. There's no shaming in here. No judging, no blaming. Just a place for people to come. And maybe do some healing. That's what I'm here for. That is the only reason I am here. I want to help others. I have found my way out of some dark, nasty places. With the help of other people. I didn't do it alone. That's another big point. But that's what I want to do. I want to help. I used to be an EMT, for many years, and I worked in a level one trauma center for I think seven years. And I felt so important. God, I felt like I was I was the king man. I would just give it all to go help these people. You know, it was like something that a movie I'm on. I'm on that guy's chest around the gurney, he's running down the hall. I'm doing chest compressions, there's blood everywhere. That was actually real life. And I was so wanting to help someone else because I didn't want to help myself. I didn't realize how hurt angry and sad I was inside. This point here is singularly important.

There are a lot of folks out there who are out there helping other people, but they don't understand their why. Right? You can still do all this work. But if you can come at it from a place of compassion, and love and acceptance. It's way different than doing because you got to hurt little Johnny inside and you're trying to make up for it by helping somebody else. Well, let me tell you, you want to be powerful. You want to make massive change in people's lives and you need to do your own work. And for a lot of us, it starts with getting underneath the anger. So, go take your dog for a walk. Kick this around a little bit. Enjoy the birds. Have fun. I'll talk to you soon. Love you.