Ep 062: Put Yourself Out There with Selena Soo

Ever wonder what success actually means? How do you get it? And how do you keep it?

We all want it yet sometimes it feels only some of us get to have it.

Hi, Teresa and Blair here we are to badass entrepreneurs, best selling authors, coaches and business mentors, who have had success, felt success, questioned our own success and reclaimed it. Let's be real for a hot minute. 2020 has been a roller coaster ride, and many of us to start to wonder if they'll lose the things that made them successful. So we got curious, Raw real about what success is truly about?

Can you put it in a box?

How can you get it?

Can people take it away? Or are you the one with the power?

Does it mean the same to all of us? Or are we the ones that create it?

From PGA golf pros to doctors, CEOs, entrepreneurs and spiritual mentors, we get together to meet with successful people from around the globe to dissect success for vibrant conversations and interviews. Make sure you click the subscribe button on the app store because each week we will drop a new episode to bust through the myths around success and dissect its true meaning.

Welcome back to another episode of dissecting success. And I am so excited because today's guest is someone who has literally changed my life, probably in more ways than she even knows. But we're here with Selena Soo , who is a publicity and marketing strategist for visionary entrepreneurs, experts and authors who want to reach millions with their message. She's helped clients and students get featured in places like Oh, The Oprah Magazine, Forbes and Inc, and land interviews on popular podcasts and national TV. Many of Selena's clients have become industry leaders with six and seven figure businesses, raving fan bases and hundreds of 1000s of followers. Her signature approach comes down to building powerful and long lasting relationships with influencers and the media in a thoughtful and authentic way. A former New Yorker, Selena lives by the beach in beautiful Puerto Rico, and she makes me jealous, but every single one of her beach posts. Whoa, Selena.

Hello, thank you so much for having me. Blair and Teresa. I'm so excited for our conversation today.

Oh my gosh, okay, let's we have a lot to cover in a very short amount of time. So I'm just gonna dive right in. Selena, Selena, what does success mean to you?

Yeah, I love this question. Because I feel like it has changed for me over the years. And in terms of personality types, like on Enneagram. Number three, which is the achiever. So I've always been very driven to achieve goals. And the most, the definition I love the most I actually heard from Brian Johnson is this idea that success is becoming the best version of yourself in service of something bigger than yourself. So I really like the two parts to it. Because I was actually in a program and they had me do this exercise, all of us really where you share, like, what would you want written on your tombstone? And at one point, I had something like, you know, like she, you know, her work, you know, impacted million, she was helping people, she transformed all these lives. And I think for many of my students and clients, they would say, the same thing. But then I realized, you know, we think about, like our legacy, and our life and the meaning of it, we should also be at the center of it. And I think there's something really powerful about enjoying life and being happy and living according to your principles. And not just being in service to other people alone, because I see a lot of people, you know, as a publicity expert, as a business coach, as well, who are really hustling and in a way, like killing themselves to get to the top and while maybe, you know, their bank account is great, and there are people being served. But if you're not happy inside, then something is missing. So I think that there's, you know, it's not just one thing that, you know, consists of like your success, there's a couple of key components, I think it's a combination of becoming the best version of yourself in a bar, becoming the best version of yourself. It's also making sure that you're taking care of yourself and your needs. And then also, I think that we all have the potential to inspire other people. And so with our lives, also, you know, living our lives in a way that's in service of other people as well.

That's a wow, what an answer. That's phenomenal. And you know what, that's also like the perfect segue into like, really, what I would love our listeners to understand is being of service to others and being the center of your legacy, like, how did you get into what you're doing today? And I'm assuming this was the huge bridge into where you are today?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. So yeah, I started my journey, you know, as a publicity expert, because when I was in my mid 20s, I had a quarter life crisis. I was working in a nonprofit at the time in New York City making 42,000 There's a year, and I was really struggling with my self esteem, I reached a point where I became clinically depressed and my mom had to fly all the way from Vancouver, Canada to New York just to be by my side, make sure I was putting food in my mouth, make sure I was getting out of bed in the mornings. And, yeah, I just felt like so helpless, you would even accompany me to work, I felt like I was this little school girl, with my mom taking me to school. And I remember saying to a friend, you know, I want to find a way to feel better, because I can't live my life like this. Do you know someone who can help me, that's when I learned about this life coach. And this life coach. I mean, she changed my life and also introduced me to all these incredible experts, authors, entrepreneurs, all these new ideas. And, you know, I realized that when people are struggling and suffering, they're not just looking for information, they are also looking for inspiration. And so with, you know, the people that I work with, and I imagine, you know, many of the people that are listening to this podcast, you know, we have a personal brand based business, right? And people also don't just care about what we do they care about who you are, and what is your journey, and what do you stand for. And so I just think it's, you know, I've just been so inspired to help people with an important message to get their work out there. Because I would ask my friends, you know, have you heard about this person and that person, because our works really changing my life. And people would say to me, like, I have no idea who you're talking about. And so it really dawned on me in that moment that sometimes people with the most powerful message, story, product or service could really help people improve their lives bring joy to their lives, are a best kept secret. So that's really why I'm passionate about being you know, how people get publicity. And I think that choosing to get publicity is also a courageous act. Because for many of us, I would say, actually, for all of us, it is scary to put ourselves out there is scary to expose ourselves. And we have like, you know, the desire to be perfect. But when we share our story, our life lessons when we become, you know, the role models for others, just by sharing what we've gone through, you know, we are becoming leaders in the world, and it's a generous act. So yes, I feel like for many of us, getting publicity being seen showing up in a big way, is part of stepping into our highest potential. And I think for many of us is a part of, you know, what it means to live a successful life.

Wow, Selena, I love that there's like so much to dive into shed of like, where do I start? But, um, you know, what, VD resonated with me is no two things that I think go go hand in hand. And I'd love for you to speak a little bit more not. You mentioned that, you know, there's so many people out there like, you know, coaches, professional experts, educators, you know, the list goes on and on, that have these incredible inspirational messages that have these incredible teachings that can literally change people's lives, change people's health, change people's businesses. And at the same time, there's this big disconnect and getting this message out to connect with the right people. And, and a lot of us know that we're like, how can I get my message out there more, but then the dance between the fear of putting yourself out there, but also the desire to actually want your message to be heard? Which is sort of a bit of a balancing act? Yeah. Can you just speak a little bit more to how, you know the importance of that publicity piece and why, you know, leaping past that fear and putting yourself out there and getting your message out there is so valuable for entrepreneurs?

Yeah, so let's first talk about why it's important. And then also the the fear piece. So you know, when you're an entrepreneur, if you're the only person saying, Hey, look at me, I'm really good at what I do, like work with me, that message is only going to mean so much and go so far. And it's so powerful when you have other people, you know, media outlets, influencers, people in platform saying, Hey, you got to check out this person's work. They're amazing. And the way that I define publicity is publicity is all about, you know, getting your message, your work your services, out on these bigger platforms, not just your own existing platforms where people already know who you are, but new places, whether that is I mean, it could be anything from you know, magazines, TV and newspapers, that's more traditional media. It could be a podcast, with you know, an influencer, an entrepreneur in your industry, you could be interviewed on you know, IG TV and someone's following them you to their audience on Instagram. They could be promoting you via a newsletter. Maybe they're even having you be a guest speaker in their group program. But it's all about getting your message out through these other platforms. And, you know, that's how people are going to discover you and that's how you know people are going to see you as the expert. Take your work seriously, and be eager to work with you. And I think that, you know, I totally understand the fears, the fears are real. But I think as entrepreneurs, we all know that the way that we become successful in business is we actually do need to do the things that feel scary to us, every entrepreneur that has had to package and price their products and services, that was quite scary at one point, a sales conversation could have been completely terrifying. And yet, oftentimes, the things that are the most scary, those are typically the needle moving activities in the business that changed the game. And you know, having done this work for well over a decade, now I look at the people who are getting all the opportunities, and others are like, Wait, I don't get it, because I feel like I'm just as good. And maybe I'm even better, like it's not fair. Well, the reason why some people are getting the opportunities and others aren't, is that the people that are getting the opportunities are putting themselves out there. And I also want to emphasize that they're putting themselves out there imperfectly, you do not need, you know, a $5,000 website, or to have hit certain financial milestones in your business, in order to be an expert in order to share your advice and stories with other people. And the way that we actually become noteworthy is by putting ourselves out there early on and getting publicity. So yes, you know, feeling the fear, doing it anyways, taking imperfect action, and something I really want to emphasize, is this idea of like, why are you doing it in the first place, right, so for myself, and for all the people that I support, you know, we're getting publicity, not because we're looking to stroke our ego, because we just need All eyes on us all the time. It's because we actually have something that we think can change someone's life, in some cases even save their life, right, and not just their, but their families, their community, right, I'm helping them make a bigger difference in the world. And so putting ourselves out there is very brave. It's, you know, a generous act, it's a courageous act. And I find that with a lot of people that I work with, you know, we have high standards for ourselves. And we have a vision of where we can be, but on day one of our publicity journey, we're gonna be where we are, which is not perfect. And so I find that sometimes we and myself included, we have to almost like forgive ourselves for not being at the level that we want to be. But literally, the way to get better and to be more successful is just to take that imperfect action.

I love that. And because I work with you, I know about some things that you teach. We talk about like the publicity pyramid, you just a little bit because some of you listening are probably like, oh my god is my dream to be featured in Forbes, but I've never been featured anywhere before. For is might be a little harder to get to three first media piece. Or maybe it's something that's really easy. And what you touched on is like IG TV and writing, you know, me being featured in other people's blogs or podcasts, you have to start somewhere. So I just want to like, I don't want people to feel discouraged, like the imposter syndrome. Like I want to be informed, but I'm not good enough. First of all, yeah, you are. But let's Can we just give some words of encouragement to those people who have want to climb that publicity? Pyramid? And yeah, start with the low hanging fruit and climb up that ladder?

Oh, yeah. I love that. Because I think a lot of us put pressure on ourselves may think about, oh, my gosh, I'm gonna go out there and be seen. You know, it's like we think, okay, if Oprah knew about my work, I know she wouldn't be all over be, you know, but I'm not ready for Oprah yet. Are you? Yes. Like you dream of being on today's show. And the thing that you have to remember is like, if you were to get these opportunities, right, the producer, the entrepreneur, whoever would be Googling you. And if nothing comes up about you, then you're not really in this be seen as the expert, but if they Google you, and they see articles, and interviews and all sorts of things coming up, you know, they're gonna see that you're building your body of work, and you're building your audience and you're generously sharing your knowledge. So we need to have you know, that home base, right, because the first thing they will do is look you up. And so your home base, you know, it can be your website, your social media profiles, you know, Instagram, LinkedIn, but when someone Googles you, there should be information about you being an expert in your field. And then the next level that I like to recommend level two on the publicity pyramid is guest posting, because it's a natural extension of writing on your blog, or newsletter or on your social media. And so now you're writing on a third party website. And then a level above that is podcast, write interviews, because now that you have written about your ideas in depth, now, it's about having that in depth conversation about your ideas. So that's level three. And then when you move up, it's magazines and then TV. So with magazines, typically, as an expert, you know, a journalist will be writing an article about you and you'll have like sound bites and things like that. So it's like more succinct, it's shorter than you authoring your entire guest posts. And with TV is typically not going to be an hour long interview. I mean, yes, maybe you know, with Oprah Super Soul Sunday, but in general, you know, these are shorter interviews sometimes. You know, many times like three minutes long. So as you move up the publicity pyramid, you are reaching more people. But sometimes it's smaller sound bites. So I like the idea of like starting at the bottom and working your way up step by step because each of these levels actually helps you get to the next one.

That is such a great and juicy advice Alina and I am so curious as you, you know, climb this pyramid letter, as you have been on your own publicity journey, I'd love to know, what are some of the biggest publicity successes that you've experienced on your journey that you're like, that was like a highlight because I feel like, you know, you help a lot of people, incredible entrepreneurs, Blair, who was also just had incredible features and Forbes and I know you have mental and there was a huge, you know, piece there, but what was some of those pieces for you? Like, I'd love to know.

Yeah, love to talk about some of them. Um, so yeah, relatively early on. In my business, I had an opportunity to write a guest post for my mentor roommates, He who has a website called I Will Teach You To Be Rich. And that was a really big deal. It was such an honor. Because, you know, I have been reading his newsletter for many years before, you know, becoming a student signing up for his programs. And, yeah, I mean, his audience are people that are looking to learn and grow in life. And as someone who is an educator myself, it's great to get in front of that audience. So there might be some people that might not be as famous as, say, a Forbes. But yeah, that's where my ideal clients are hanging out. So that was really great. And recently, we did like this really fun. I mean, I can't believe this is like a pinch me moment. But like a five part series about how I live my rich life, because Rumi is all about helping people create their own rich life. So it was just so great to also talk about how I had really grown as a business owner, because of my mentor, and what my rich life looks like right now. I think, for me, a part of like, my favorite media wins are ones in which I feel so self expressed, you know, and maybe I'm inspiring people with my journey. And then another one that felt really significant, there's kind of two parts to it. So the first is, a year ago, I released a personal story on medium.com, about leaving an emotionally abusive relationship I was in. And I would say that is in the top two things I'm most proud of in my life. Number one, starting my business and all the fears and making it to 10 years, you know, this year is my 10 year anniversary in business. So that's frickin huge. But the second thing is, yeah, sharing my story about getting in and ultimately leaving an emotionally abusive relationship. And I think for you know, a lot of people, we have a story that means a lot to us. But there's oftentimes shame around the story, it can be like, do I really want people to know that, you know, is everyone to think like, how could she be so stupid? How can she get into that situation? Or, you know, there can be so many fears? What's going to happen is the person that, you know, was the abusive person in this situation going to come after me, whatever it is. Or maybe we've had like this a health challenge, or maybe well, you know, there's so many stories, I don't think that everyone has to share, like their deepest, darkest secrets. But I think that there are particular stories where deep down in your soul, you know that this is a story that you are meant to share that's going to help other people. So it's really powerful to kind of break my silence and write this very extensive piece on medium.com. And I love that the depth that I was able to get into because I think that as people read the story, and even as I wrote my story, and even gave me realizations, like I can see how I got into that situation, how I got manipulated, why it was so hard to leave. And you know, so many people messaged me and would say things like Selena, I have the same story as you just different details, you know, and so I think that so many of our experiences as human beings are universal, and one of the greatest guess, is to help someone see a piece of themselves inside of you, right, and really accept themselves more love themselves more and inspire them to make more empowering choices for themselves. So that was big. And then connected to that recently. It's like less than a month ago, I believe. I was on TV in New York. And it was a three minute segment. It was short. And the funny thing is, even though I often do, you know, podcast interviews, and we have these extensive conversations, but there's something about being on TV that just feels like even more official and a little nerve wracking. I did trip up on a ward at the end, but regardless, I thought it was I was very proud of myself. So those are the things that come to mind when I think about my most meaningful publicity wins.

First of all, kudos to you for being so vulnerable with your personal story. And I think it's really brilliant that you did that. Because it takes only one person to step forward to really help other people. Yeah, see the truth. So first of all, I just want to sidebar say, like, thank you for doing that. And for sharing that story here, because that's also like a really great way, like sharing personal experiences is a great way to get in the media and share your stories. And for you that had everything to do with your business, and nothing to do with the business all at the same time. Because you are here at this very moment today. Because this is where your path led you. Right? So I think the end the fact that you went on TV in New York to talk about it, holy smokes, like Fuck, yeah, that's,

and this is how I see it connecting to my business. You know, I think that one of the most important things to become successful is to make sure that we're surrounding ourselves with the right people, you know, to have clients that we love working with to have Rockstar team members, and for our loved ones to be kind and supportive. And I think all of us at times, find ourselves in relationships that aren't aligned, that aren't healthy, maybe we didn't see it coming. And we feel trapped in these situations. But for anyone, if you have unhealthy and toxic relationships at your life, and people that are eating, you know, at your self esteem, you are not showing up as your most empowered self, and I'm stepping into your full potential. And so you know, and a big part of the publicity I'm doing, it's not just like, I just want people to make more money, even though of course, that is, you know, an outcome that happens. But the reason why I'm so passionate as publicity is because I think that all of us has a story and a message that could change someone's life. In this case, I wasn't expecting that to you know, end up being one of my messages. But it was and I'm so grateful that you know, I have the tools to amplify a message and make sure that it reaches people and resonates deeply with people so that can change lives and actually literally save lives. There was someone that said, you know, I actually would say that your story saved my life. And I'm going to be leaving this situation now. So sometimes we need that, you know, story to be that wake up call to make a healthy change for ourselves.

Wow. Oh, my God, I know you're a hero, a Shiro. So you, you have a free gift that has to do with publicity. Should we talk about that you want to tell me about the free gift that you have?

I would love to tell you about the free gift. So it is my publicity calendar. I'm obsessed with it. So this is my 40 page publicity calendar. So 40 pages worth of tips, special dates, hearts, ways to get into the media. Because when people are thinking about sharing their story, getting the media's attention, they're often wondering, What do I say? How do I, you know, capture their attention? What is the media looking for. And so during certain times, different times of the year, you know, they're looking, you know, they're especially eager for certain types of stories. And if you understand what they're looking for, then you can deliver it to them on a silver platter. So people have used his publicity calendar to map out their publicity plan for the year, but also to even map out their newsletter content and social media content. So yeah, people can get that at impacting millions.com/dissecting success. So pretty easy to remember impacting millions.com/dissecting success.

That is amazing. What a brilliant gift. Thank you so much. We'll gifting this to our listeners. And that is so incredible. I can't wait myself.

Teresa's already downloaded it. She's ready. She's ready. Yeah,

I am going to download it as soon as we end this interview. I love it. I love it. So it's Alina, as well, you know, ending this interview today. And you've shared so much already. But I'd love to know, what's one piece of advice you would give people that are just on the beginning, Johnny on the path to success?

Yeah. So for me, I think that there is a disconnect with success in the past where for me, success was all about achievement and external accomplishments. And now I think that success is also you know, how you feel like on a day to day basis, even if you're hitting certain financial milestones, but you are crying all the time in your business, which at one point I was. And I'm not to say that we don't go through growing pains, like there are going to be challenging times. But if you're finding yourself consistently in a place where you're putting other people's needs or your business ahead of your own well being, then that isn't what I would consider to be sustainable success. So you know, I actually came up with 12 guiding principles for myself how I live my life. And I came up with these principles by thinking about okay, what are the lessons that I keep on needing to learn and what really matters to me I just did like this deep journaling session and my number one principle is to prioritize peace above all else. And so I really like this idea of peace. Part of it is like living in alignment that I also think about for myself, you know, in my business, do I have peaceful or in my life? Do I have peaceful relationships, right? Because there can be people in our lives that are fun, or we have this history with or, you know, there can be these amazing moments. But if for whatever reason there, you keep on returning to chaos, or misunderstanding, or drama, or fixing the other person or imbalanced relationships, I just don't think that that's healthy. And so that is kind of like a litmus test, I asked myself, is this a peaceful relationship? You know, the majority of the time, when I think about my business offers, or my business offers peaceful, you know, are people happy? And then are I enjoying delivering them? Or is there just all this challenge and drama and messiness, and sometimes when we grow our businesses so quickly, when we don't have any our systems in place, you know, things can feel like stressful and challenging. So, you know, it also depends on what stage you are in your business. But with me being at the 10 year mark, I'm all about you know, less is more simplifying, and really feeling a sense of peace and joy inside my business in order to yeah, really feel like I have that sustainable success for myself.

So amazing. Selena, thank you so very much for being on dissecting success with us and sharing this euphoria of wisdom you have packed into the last 25 minutes literally, you know, if anybody's thinking about starting a publicity journey, you know, make sure you a download this incredible publicity calendar, but connect with Selena, Selena, what other place can people connect with you follow you? Where would you like to send them? Then obviously, the publicity calendar, which will also be in the show notes.

So it's easy. I mean, I would love for people to say hello on Instagram, I'm at Selena se, le Na, underscore su S O and just say, hi, let me know that you discovered me on the dissecting success podcast. And if you feel inclined, I would love to know what your number one takeaway is, you know, I love having these really deep and meaningful conversations. And yeah, I would love to know like, what your number one for flexion is, and just to kind of, you know, as we start to wrap, you know, when I think about publicity, to me, publicity is also about you stepping into your highest potential, like I love the saying that I didn't come this far just to come this far, right. And so as you know, if you're an entrepreneur listening to this, you're someone that wants to achieve more success that wants to reach your potential. And I think that if, you know, people don't know about you, the people that should know about you, then, you know, there's something missing, you aren't stepping into your fullest potential. And that, you know, we make an impact not just with our knowledge and with our product and service, but also who we are as human beings and how we live our lives. And so yeah, I'm just so excited for this really deep multifaceted conversation about what success means and I really feel like publicity can be a part of someone's success journey.