Ep 056: I am BIGGER with Adriana Monique Alvarez

Ever wonder what success actually means? How do you get it? And how do you keep it?

We all want it yet sometimes it feels only some of us get to have it. Hi,

Teresa and Blair here we are to badass entrepreneurs, best selling authors, coaches and business mentors, who have had success, felt success, questioned our own success and reclaimed it. Let's be real for a hot minute. 2020 has been a roller coaster ride, and many of us who started to wonder if they'll lose the things that made them successful. So we got curious, Ron real about what success is truly about?

Can you put it in a box?

How can you get it?

Can people take it away? Or are you the one with the power?

Does it mean the same to all of us? Or are we the ones that create it?

From PGA golf pros to doctors, CEOs, entrepreneurs and spiritual mentors. We get together to meet with successful people from around the globe to dissect success for vibrant conversations and interviews. Make sure you click the subscribe button on the app store because each week we will drop a new episode to bust through the myths around success and dissect its true meaning.

Welcome back to another episode of dissecting success. Blair Kaplan Venables, here with Teresa Lambert and the amazing Adriana Monique Alvarez. She is the CEO and founder of ama publishing. She teaches women how to start highly profitable publishing companies, and has written how to start a six figure publishing company that is available on Amazon. She's a USA Today best selling author. And Her most recent book, the younger self letters debuted number one on bestsellers lists internationally, she has been seen in Forbes, Huffington Post International Living and many other publications. And she's currently living in the middle of nowhere Colorado, which sounds to be like the perfect somewhere, and not the Nowhere, where she's renovating her grandparents home and learning how to homestead with her husband, Derek and two sons, Sam and grant, I just want to thank you so much. You know, Theresa and I are both self published authors. And we're both going down these creative journeys, these creative paths for publishing and creating and telling our story. We are so honored to have you here to dissect success with us. So without further ado, hello.

Hi, thank you so much for having me. I'm excited as well. I mean, I know we're going to have a magical conversation.

Yeah, it's happening. Well, you know, let's just, let's just get to the nitty gritty here. Well, what does success mean to you? Hmm,

funny, you should ask because I recently did an entire talk on this for a summit. And I talked about radical wealth, radical success. And this is a whole spectrum of abundance of prosperity of connection. So for me, success means I have a really fun, happy fulfilling marriage. I have a great connection with my children. I am connected to the land I live on. I'm growing food, I'm taking my grandma to the thrift store. I'm in perfect radiant health, my eyes are sparkling. And I know what my contribution is, to the world. It's it's all the above this is success, unwilling to trade one thing for another, why not have a beautiful life and everything that means something to you.

I love that so much success is being unwilling to trade one for the other. That is so good. That is so good. And I feel like a lot of people will VD connect with that idea. But I feel like it's also something that takes work to get there. And I'd love to just understand, like, on this path of success and all you've accomplished, how did you end up where you are today and actually making this happen? Because we know it probably didn't happen overnight. And I'm assuming it took a bit to be able to not make those traits anymore.

So true. I will tell you the most interesting thing about my path and trajectory and how I arrived where I have, it all goes back to the years I spent as a volunteer in orphanages overseas in my 20s when I graduated from high school, I did not go to college, I did not get married, I did not do any of those things. I did not get a good job. I went first to Albania and then to Kenya and also over in Asia and one of the things I learned was how to live and how to be in cultures that do not value, our typical western definition of success and monetary gain at any cost. They live slow lives. They, they take grandma and the babies everywhere, they enjoy their meals, and they care about who they eat them with. And these are lessons that stayed with me. I know that that was part of my path, so that I could actually live in it. I was immersed in it. So that when I came back to the US, and I got married and had babies and started a business, I would remember what really matters.

So important, you know, and in the Western culture, like in North America, like you're, you know, in the US, we're up in Canada, we're part of this gogogo culture, how can I be efficient and fast. And, you know, it's not the art of like sitting down and enjoying a meal and having a dinner conversation. And in fact, it's funny because my husband and I recently moved towns like we moved from town, we're near Teresa to another place three and a half hours away, and we bought a house. And we're doing Reno so we don't have a kitchen table, and I'm really feeling disconnected. And like, it's been two months, and I'm not gonna lie, I've ordered takeout and eat it in bed. And if you did on the floor, and eat now on patio furniture, and on the couch, downstairs, but like, the art of being with the people you love and care most and the art of sitting down and really caring about your process of who you're starting your day with, or ending your day with breaking bread with and where you're going is so important. And I think that pandemic has really opened up a lot of our eyes to those things that we forgot existed. Because people were busy as a badge of honor. And yeah, and that the concept of slowing down. But you're an entrepreneur, you have a company ama publishing, you've published books, I'm assuming with publishing you help other people publish books, I would love to talk about that. And how do you balance that with a slower pace and the lessons you've learned while living abroad?

Hmm, it's a great question. And I will tell you the truth, it is something that unless you're willing to try it on, the mind will fight the mind will resist because we have been so trained to believe that the only way that you can accomplish and achieve is through nonstop endless effort. However, what I have learned is that if I am willing to put my life practice first, if I'm willing to make sure that I include the things that bring me joy, that connect me to my heart to those I love, then it actually requires less effort in the business, less effort in the other areas of my life. However, we have to be willing to trust something other than what we've been taught other than what we've been fed our entire lives. And it just goes back to that simple lesson of you know, if you have the jar and you want to fill it with many things, put the big stones in first, I do that in my business everyday people might be shocked at how few hours I work. But how many hours I dedicate to space to meals to nature to walks to, you should see my floor right now it's just playing with my kids, then it all can align to that.

That is so powerful at Vienna. And it really speaks to you know, as funny because again, like we have we've not really know much about each other before we jumped on this podcast interview. And so I wrote a book called achieve with grace. And one the number one thing, thing IVT speak a lot about is achieving with grace, but succeeding with elegance. And what you just said really speaks to my heart personally too, because I have done a lot of work around letting go of the need to push and grind and hustle. Like taking that busy badge of honor and being like it is not a badge of honor. It is not a badge of honor. There is a different way and VD forging forward with this idea that we can put spaciousness, time connection pleasure Blay like creative space, like whatever it is, we can put that fast we get to put it fast, but like you said, it's it was work. It was a lot of inner work. It continues to be the work I do because my autopilot always wants to hustle and grind like my autopilot is go. And it's just this finding this balance between showing up for your business showing up for your vision showing up for what you're wanting to create. And at the same time, prioritizing yourself your pleasure, the time with family that connection Having dinner at the dining room table rather than in front of the television, right? I'm taking a break for lunch rather than answering emails while you eat. Like there's so many different things that we can do. But what I found really powerful about what you said too, and I wholeheartedly agree is that when we work with more intention, and when we get Vidi, clear on what are those big rocks that go in the jaw, we don't have to actually do as many things, or put as much time in as we think. Because when you actually do the thing, it gets done a lot quicker, and has way more potency.

Absolutely love it. I've experienced the same. And you know the other thing that having this space, whether it's just to watch the clouds float by or to have 30 minutes to sit and drink your tea, while looking at the gold leaves fall is that's when I receive my best ideas. That's when I can actually access something higher than what's the next thing to do on the to do list. How do you make the next dollar? How do you get the next client, we dedicate so much of our lives, concerned about our most basic needs, and we jam it so full that we actually never access our highest self, we never access higher levels of consciousness. That is where it slips in. If there's no space between the notes, if there's no break between the action, guess what, we just stay on that hamster wheel, we just kind of live average, even if we deem it as highly successful. It's really just an average life. Because if that's as high as I can think, and that's as high as I can be. It is still mediocre for my soul. How do we be extraordinary for our soul?

It's how you feed the soul. I want to switch gears a little because I am just so curious. Why did you start a publishing company like walk us through your journey as a writer? And I will Yeah, let's dive into your history. Because I'm fascinated about this side of the of the business.

I had no intentions of starting a publishing company i i would have never like if you'd asked me 10 years ago, I just said no, I don't. I don't see myself doing that. What happened was about the second year of our business, I got inspired to write a book called 365 ways to celebrate life. And I was surrounded by high achievers in San Diego, you know, all the Navy pantsuits, I was in that sea of of Navy pants suits. And I just realized, oh my gosh, some of the most successful people I'm surrounded by, they're not enjoying their life, they're missing the whole freaking point. And I began to write down the simple things that matter to me and I put it together in a book. Then our business evolved, I had two babies in 12 months, I transitioned online so that I could scale and do things differently. And when I came online, I realized it was hard to identify what was the difference between me who had been in business for seven years, and someone who was brand new and had no idea what they were doing. And so I decided to write a book so people could understand where I'd come from, what I stand for, what my values are, what my vision is. So I wrote this book when my boys napped every single day. So I wrote every day until the book was done, I released it. And I really began to see the power of storytelling. Because women move forward and move toward me so quickly, they related they connected, it wasn't just about what I was selling. And my business went from, you know, working with locals to working with 1000s of people in 36 countries. And every single one of them would tell me I want to write a book I did. And I would ask them to write the book, what happened with the book, none of them, I actually think I can only identify one person who actually did it. And for whatever reason, it bothered me, I couldn't let it go. I began to ask them why, oh, it's complicated publishing this, that and the other. I have too many other things I've got to manage and keep the wheels on. And so I began to dig deeper. How can we simplify this? This is an industry that is broken. It's a industry that's perfect for disruption, it's perfect for completely making how we want it to be. And so I began to throw out all the old rules and say, hey, who cares about if you can do or can't do traditional publishing? What are the other ways? And so, I threw out a pilot program. I had eight women who said yes, I taught them how to write for publications. We were getting ready to roll into how to write your book. I had a full term stillbirth with my third child, and I just kept everything going as I had it. I didn't add anything new. And then two years later, I felt like it was time it was time to really dig into the books and the story. Lori, and I threw out, I just threw out the idea, hey, I'm going to put together a book if you want to share your story in it, you know, calm it was one social media post. And 27 women said yes, within a matter of days. And that was how I created my first book. After less than a year, I'd work with 125 authors. And I said, Oh, my goodness, I'm on to something. And last year, I decided I would teach women how to duplicate the system. So that we don't have to wait for someone else to tell us yes, we get to tell ourselves Yes. And get our work out into the world.

First of all, I am so sorry that you had a stillbirth. We just kind of glossed over that and set it. You know, it was like, just something that happened like well, I sneezed. I want to talk about that for a second. First of all, that your story is phenomenal. But how did you continue on with your business and everything you're doing while you had that experience? In November, actually, at the time of recording like this is coming out in January. So when you guys listen, it's January 8 2022. But today, it's November 2, and my I had a miscarriage last year on November 3, and after trying for a really long time. And it shocked me, and I was Googling how to have a miscarriage and run a business. So I can't imagine even getting through to the point of having a stillbirth. I'm going persevering on. And if you don't mind, I'd like to go a little deeper and talk about that if you're open to it, because that's, that's hard.

Hmm. It is. And I want to acknowledge you as well. And the timing is so incredibly important because it was in November four years ago that I was told something's not looking right. It was in December, I was told she's not going to make it and in January, I had a stillbirth. So when the calendar turns November 1, everything inside of me feels it and remembers. And just last night, I could feel it. I could feel it. Here comes the season. Right? And I have as everyone does, you go through waves and layers of this, and this year has been huge growth for me. But as I was making dinner, I said, I feel it. And I want I want to move through it. I'm ready to move through even more. And I asked how, and I heard redeem this season, redeem the season. No longer is it the this happened, this happened, this happened. And I said how. And I was told be the biggest the greatest blessing right now in this season, your November, your December and January, not in the sense of how you're working for gold stars. But in the sense of where you wake up every day and ask what is mine to do? What is mine to share? Who can I extend joy and love to. And instantly I could feel a shift in my my body in my spirit. And the way that I got through it. To tell you the truth is I it was a blessing, I was not living in the US because our culture has a very specific way that we view death and loss and all of these things. So I got to have a little distance from my own culture. But the thing I hung on to is, I know this is about something more than a stillbirth. This is something more than I lost a child. This is opening me up this cracked me open to access more of myself. And what it allowed me to do was to connect to the other side to see how real how much more real, the unseen is. And during this process, my daughter has communicated with me I actually just created a Oracle Card Deck that she gave me all the messages for. And I learned how to communicate deeply and intimately with angels, guides and ancestors. And to bring that into lead from that space. I think the only way we navigate the deep waters is we have to realize like a surface solution will never do it. We have to sink down into that dark, rich soil and surrender. Die to everything we thought we knew every plan we thought we had and allow life to unfold for us and that's what I did every single day. During that time. I would I didn't do any work until five o'clock I spent my whole day taking care of myself and then I asked one question, what's mine to share? And I went and gave it to my clients I went and delivered it to my community. It's one foot in front of the other but keeping that connection to self and God is so key because if we just get buried in the stories and the why me it's it's difficult to emerge from Wow.

I just like, that gave me goosebumps. But I like and also just I could feel that emotion. And I just want to thank you for sharing that and being so vulnerable. And I've lately been surrounded with a lot of people who are experiencing loss. Blair being one of them. And we've spoken about this many times. And it's so interesting how, you know, when you find this place of surrender, like when you really like instead of fighting what's happening, I'm just going to surrender, and trust, whatever process needs to unfold, whatever I need to work through, will, will show up. And, you know, this sort of speaks into this slowing down. And actually having this process happening, while the world continues to turn while the clocks continue to take while the deadlines continue to exist, while the while the Wilder right, like, everything gets to move on. And we get to just, you know, take that moment, but wow, to be, you know, taking it, I think it takes a brave, courageous soul to, to come through and say, Okay, this has happened, I can't change it, I can't fight it. I can't do anything about it. But perhaps there is something that's coming out of it, and I can't yet see it, but I'm open to see it. That is so big. And most people will choose to miss it because it hurts so much to look at it that way.

It's true. And I have noticed same same with you is we are living in a world now. That is being confronted with loss, death, grief, pain. These are things that we do our best to avoid, we actually convince ourselves if we have been successful, and if we have done well, we never need to experience that. And gone, having gone through this journey for four years, I now celebrate death that has so many gifts, it's it's an initiation, like no other. And now I can see how I can support others, I can be in that dark soil, I can go to the deep waters, I can sit in the ashes. I can hold that. And I can be with others. We are going to need to learn how to navigate these things. So these times these emotions, because there's no avoiding it. They are actually the path through they are the path through.

So offline, we were talking about what I'm working on, and I'm about to publish a book. And it I just want to share this with you. Because I have always been a writer. I'm a child of divorce. My dad lives with addiction and growing up, you know, I was born in the 80s. So, you know, divorced parents wasn't really a thing. And no one talked about cocaine addiction. And my dad left the family and I expressed my pain through writing. And my mom actually got called to my school when I was in elementary school because the teachers were concerned I was depressed by what I was writing. But my mom poopoo did off was now she's fine because I wasn't very happy externally. I was a very happy bubbly kid. So anyways, I've always been a writer. And so part of my healing process is writing. And that's why I'm writing the I am resilience projects book called The resilience book. And that's coming out. You know, it's coming out in November. Well, by the time you guys listen, it's out buy it on Amazon, or from my website. But I've been collecting stories of resilience from around the world. And people have submit their stories of resilience from around the world. And they're coming in, and we're calling out, you know, compiling these stories. I'm bookending it with my story and my father's story and returning our pain of our journey, which is addiction, forgiveness, you know, resilience and the fact that he's terminally ill, and our story into a legacy piece into a way to help others because it helps me and my dad to share our story. It helps us heal to live in our truth. And it's helping other people when we're given this platform to submit stories on our website or in a book And I think what you're saying is so important because I'm really turning, I'm not turning my pain into pleasure, but I'm turning my pain my feelings into words and letting it flow out. And sometimes their Instagram posts and sometimes, you know, I learned to write a book. So I knew how to write a book. So my first book pulsing through my veins, Ron, real stories from an entrepreneur was a book to learn how to write a book, and I talked about being an entrepreneur. And while writing the book, my husband had a heart attack, I lost, my grandfather got a concussion, and a bunch of other stuff happened. And so I'm, you know, in the backend working on this Resilience Project, and the front end working on this book about entrepreneurship, and all this stuff happened. So I literally was pouring myself into this book, to learn to write a book to write a book. And so what you're saying is so powerful, because like, we can't just shut it off and pretend we're fine. And success has nothing to do with it. You know, my husband and I are good people. I you know, I donate money, I donate my time I volunteer, I give back, like, you know, I don't drink I used to have a lot of fun, but like, I like to think I'm a good person. And you know, it's we've had a lot of adversity and challenges in our life. And it you know, doesn't matter how successful you are or not, it's about what happens when you're down and how do you get through that tunnel? And I know and maybe you relate because you are in the world of publishing but I turn to not only therapy, but words and I write I have when I have big feelings I write

you know, I do and and you know, you're reminding me of something I recently wrote at three in the morning, my daughter visits me at 3am. And this, I'm just going to give you a part of it. But what she shared with me was this and it's called I Am bigger, and comprised of love and light as expansive as the sea unlimited and divine. The entire universe is in me. The heights and depths are mine to explore. I am free. I am bigger than anything. Loss, death and grief. You will not overtake me, for I am greater than every everything. hopelessness, fear and despair. I breathe in and out and expand my heart until I am bigger than all you are. Disappointment, heartbreak and pain. These are gifts and treasures for me to gain. I see myself through the eyes of God, I remember who I am. I feel the stars that guide me home. Each time I'm tempted to believe that it is all greater than me. More than I can handle too heavy for me to bear. I returned to the truth of who I am. No matter what I face, I am bigger than it all. With each breath I access more of me the wisdom in my bones, the secrets of my soul. I am bigger than at all. I slay my demons and face my fears. I celebrate today and I smile at tomorrow because I am bigger than anything